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them. Of course he was. Two of his best friends were getting married, and if anyone deserved it, it was those two. Ben, as a not-so-secret romantic, was always a sucker for a happy ending and this was no exception.
No, he was very happy for Richie and Eddie. He really was. It was just...
Just that, as they exchanged vows, Ben had to watch the love of his life twist her own wedding ring around her finger. Just that, as their friends made speeches that were equal parts sweet and teasing, Ben was single again because Katie had become sick of 'always coming second'. Just that, as they shoved cake in each other’s faces, Ben had to come to terms with the fact that it would never be him and Bev doing that, that Bev had chosen someone else.
He watched the dance floor from his esteemed place at the top table. It was a slow, sappy song, but, surrounded by couples slow dancing, Richie was doing a very slow macarena while Eddie, laughing, begged him to stop. Ben and Bev were the only ones left sitting at the table. There was only one seat between them, but it felt as though they were miles apart. Ben was surprised that Tom had let Bev come without him. Tom had made no secret of how much he loathed The Losers, but it wasn't like him to let Bev out of his sight, especially not at a party.
Despite Tom not being there, Bev was behaving as though he was. Playing the role of the perfect, quiet, Stepfordwife. Ben missed her. The real Bev who never backed down from a challenge, who could drink them all under the table, who Ben could talk to for hours.
When the song ended and the couples were off the dance floor, Bev went to talk to Stan and Patty at the bar. Ben was more than happy to wallow in his own self-pity alone.
Which, of course, meant that he was not allowed.
"Smile, Benny-Boy! It's a wedding, not a funeral!"
Richie's teasing voice made him jump. Somehow, Richie had managed to take the chair beside him. Ben had been so busy moping, he hadn't even noticed.
"Hey!" Ben protested when Richie stole his cider and took a swig.
"How do you drink this stuff?" Richie asked, disgusted. “It's too sweet!"
"I like it," Ben said, "which is why I got it. Give it back, Tozier."
Richie didn't.
"You have plenty," he waved him off casually. Ben suddenly became very aware of the many bottles of cider and beer surrounding him. He hadn't realised he'd drunk that much. "Besides, it's my wedding," Richie added, sticking out his tongue.
"Exactly, I'm celebrating your love, " Ben said dryly, but didn't take the bottle back when Richie put it back down on the table.
"Aw," Richie said, reaching over to ruffle Ben’s hair, ignoring his protest, “that's so sweet, Haystack, and also complete bullshit. So what's up?"
One of the perks of pining for the same person for over a decade was that even though Richie asked, he already knew. He followed Ben's gaze to where Bev was leaning against the bar.
"Do you wanna get some fresh air?" he asked.
Ben chuckled.
"Are you propositioning me? On your wedding day? " he teased.
"Well, that depends — is it working?" Richie played along.
"No."
"Then no," Richie laughed, and headed outside. Stumbling slightly, Ben followed.
*****
The cool was pleasant after the suffocating heat of the party, and Ben breathed in the fresh air as he and Richie found a place to sit, on some stairs from a fire escape not far from the door. The music and chatter of the reception was a distant echo.
"I'm sorry," Ben said immediately.
"What for?" Richie asked.
Ben wasn't quite sure.
"It's your wedding, you should be in there enjoying it," he decided, but Richie waved him off.
"I needed a break anyway. It was this or try and convince Eds to suck me off in the bathroom," he said.
"Gross, Richie," Ben groaned, but Richie was unapologetic.
"Just telling it like it is, Benjamin."
"Well don't."
"Aye Aye, Captain," Richie saluted. "So what's up?"
"It's nothing, it's not important," Ben tried to say. "Nothing you should have to worry about."
"You have to tell me man," Richie whined. "Or do you want me to be balls deep in my husband thinking about your stupid sad face?"
"Jesus, Richard— I just said—" Ben tried, laughing despite himself. "Does Eddie know you talk about him like this?"
"Trust me, when he gets going, Eds can give as good as he gets. Take that as you will."
Ben, unable to decide between amusement and disgust, went with both and groaned while he laughed.
"Seriously, what's up?" Richie asked again. Ben sighed; if Richie couldn't be distracted by dirty jokes, he couldn't be distracted by anything.
"It's just... Watching you and Eddie, it makes me wish it was me and her, you know?" he admitted. "And I know it's never going to happen. She's happily married—"
"I wouldn't say happily," Richie muttered, but Ben didn't hear him.
"—but I can't help it. I can't get over someone I never even dated, it's so pathetic," he finished sadly.
"Yeah, it is a bit," Richie said and Ben laughed.
"It's stupid, I know, but I thought that if I could just lose weight, I'd be happy and that she'd love me the way I love her, but it just didn't happen, and now she's married to another man."
Richie sighed.
"Look, I didn't want to tell you this because I thought it would be cruel to get your hopes up, but I don't think Tom and Bev will last," he said.
Ben's eyes widened. "Did she say something?"
"She doesn't have to. Look how easily Patty fit into our group, as if she was always meant to be there. Tom doesn't. He never has."
"So?" Ben asked, unimpressed.
"So that means something in Derry. Think about it, how we were all drawn together like we were meant to be friends," Richie went on, but it was obvious Ben still wasn't following. "Look, you know how Mike talks about realities all on top of each other, like a tower?"
Ben nodded. While the rest of them had spent the years after That Summer trying to forget, Mike had spent them trying to understand. He'd found a lot, about something his dad's friend called The Shining, how it was more common in Derry, about some other weird shit that had gone on, and some stuff about other realities, which Ben had given up trying to wrap his head around.
"Yeah?" he said, not sure where Richie was going with this.
"Well, I have a theory that some things have to happen on each level, no matter what, like the seven of us being friends, and that's why it feels right," Richie told him.
It did make some sense. They had all been weirdly drawn to each other that summer, as though some kind of magnetic force pulled them.
"Like, we don't have free will?" Ben asked.
"No, just that some things are meant to be, and that's why we can sense that they're right, you know?"
Ben nodded.
"And I think that me and Eds are like that. We love each other on every level. Even if it's left unsaid, it's always there, you know?"
Ben was taken aback at how certain Richie was. Richie had been his 'Partner in Pining.’ Richie, who had spent that first year trying so hard not to fuck up his new relationship with Eddie that it had made him fuck up more. Richie now seemed so confident in his love, and so grown up, that Ben wasn't sure it was even him.
"It's cheesy, I know," Richie said, smiling like an idiot, "but what the fuck! It's my wedding, I can be as cheesy as I like."
"So you think me and Bev..." Ben trailed off, not daring to even ask the question. If he asked, he made it a real possibility, and that would only set him up for disappointment. Richie shrugged.
"I can't know that. I think only the two of you can know that. I'm just saying that Bev and Tom aren't meant to be," he said, standing up. "Come on, let's go back before they miss us."
Ben's head whirled with thoughts of what Richie had said as they re-entered the party. Richie went back to his new husband, leaving Ben to mull over their conversation.
"Rich wasn't smoking, was he?" Bev asked, finally finding him hovering awkwardly near the back of the room. "Eddie'll kill him.”
"No," Ben assured her, struggling not to choke on his words, "just going on about how great Eddie is again."
They shared joking, exasperated looks, and for a moment it was as if Ben had the old Bev back, especially when she smiled.
"Eddie might kill him if he hears that as well," she joked. "I assume it wasn’t suitable for children."
"No," Ben laughed. "No, it was not."
They stood in comfortable silence for a moment, and Ben wanted to savour how comfortable it was. Moments like that, which used to be constant, had been happening less and less since Tom appeared.
"Do you want to dance?" Ben asked, surprising even himself. Even in the poor lighting, Ben was certain Bev could see his blush, but (although he couldn't be sure) he also thought she was blushing with him. She smiled.
"Why not?" she said.
*-*-*-*-*
Bonus Scene:
"Wait! Wait!" Eddie cried, slightly out of breath from the sloppy kiss he'd just pulled away from. Richie wanted to frown at him, but found himself unable to. Eddie's suit, which had been so pristine at the beginning of the day, was a mess: his tie was gone, his blazer had been abandoned, his waistcoat was undone, and his hair was a mess where Richie had had his fingers in it.
"What?" Richie still had Eddie crowded up against the door of their hotel room and was very eager to return to what they'd just been doing.
"I can't do this," Eddie said.
Richie took a step back and let out a shaky laugh.
"What do you mean you can't do this?" he asked, suddenly certain that Eddie had realised that it was a mistake to marry him, that he didn't want this anymore.
"I'm married," Eddie whispered, as if it was a big secret. "I just got married."
"Yeah? So?"
"So! I love my husband, you idiot! I can't be here with you! I love him!" Eddie seemed to be on the verge of tears, but Richie couldn't help it. He laughed.
Clearly, his husband was far drunker than he'd thought.
Eddie pinched him hard.
"Don't laugh, you homewrecker!" he cried.
"Alright, alright, I'm sorry," Richie said, having to put a lot of effort into biting back his laughter. "You're right," he said. Then, unable to resist, he added, "He must be some guy, your new husband."
Eddie considered it.
"I mean, he's kind of annoying, and loud," he said. Richie snorted.
"Charming," he muttered.
"No, he's not that," Eddie added helpfully, "but I love him."
"Yeah?" Richie said, struggling to get the key card to open the door behind them.
"Yeah, I love him a lot, I guess," Eddie shrugged.
"Well gee, Eds, I love you a lot too, I guess," Richie laughed, finally managing to get the door open and gently leading Eddie inside.
"Richie!" Eddie's face lit up and he threw his arms around his new husband as if he'd been away for months.
"Heya, Eds." Richie matched his smile. "Come on, let's get you some water and get to bed."
He'd tease Eddie mercilessly for this in the morning, and bring it up every time Eddie claimed he wasn't a lightweight, but for now, all there was to do was to take care of his very drunk soulmate, and message the group chat to let them all know what an idiot he was