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Regulus knew, intellectually, that his parents cut him a lot of slack. He was the second son, so they didn't have to worry about all the decisions he made that they didn't like. He was in Ravenclaw, which wasn't bad, but it wasn't Slytherin like they would have preferred. He was the only living Black family member to not be in Slytherin. He was friends with people who were in Gryffindor, which they certainly didn't like, but for the most part, they kept their mouths shut about it and gave Sirius pointed looks over tea.
So yes, Regulus knew, logically, that his parents didn't come down as hard on him as they could have, but it didn't feel like it. He still hated them. He still tried to impress them, failed, and got embarrassed about them so he could swing back into hating them and telling himself that he wasn't going to try and give them any attention. It was a cycle that he didn't enjoy, but there was a terrible sort of comfort in the fact that whatever he was dealing with, Sirius had it worse. Merlin and Morgana did Sirius have it worse. Sirius hated their parents. Not the same way Regulus did, where he swung back and forth and sometimes told himself that maybe they weren't as bad as he remembered; Sirius hated them, hated everything about them and what they wanted him to do, but he did it anyways.
Regulus wasn't under any delusions as to why that was. He was protecting Regulus. Like he always did. Regulus wasn't brave; he couldn't stand up for himself and take away the weight Sirius was bearing on his behalf, but he could do something for Sirius. Something to make him feel better. A little less miserable. He wasn't brave, but he could do that much. As it just so happened, he had the perfect plan in mind: he was going to get Sirius a date with James Potter.
It wasn't an idea from nowhere. Regulus's best friend was Remus, who in turn was best mates with James. Remus had complained a couple dozen times about James talking about how fit Sirius was, and Regulus had noticed the way Sirius allowed his eyes to linger on Gryffindor's star Quidditch player from time to time. Sirius had a stupid amount of self-control though, and he wouldn't even admit to Regulus's face that he thought James was fit, let alone that he fancied him. All it would really take to get Sirius and James together though, would be a few pointed moves by Regulus and Remus and voila! Victory-- and happiness for the smooching couple, but that was like, a secondary thing.
"I have a proposition for you," Regulus said, out of the blue as far as Remus could tell. They were in the library doing Charms homework when Regulus got around to remembering the idea at the same time that he was around Remus.
"Hm?"
"We should get James and Sirius together."
"Please tell me you're joking," Remus said. A beat. "You're not joking."
Regulus shook his head. "It's brilliant-"
"I doubt that very much."
Regulus flicked a broken quill at him. "As I was saying," he continued primly, "it'll get James to calm down enough that you can stand being around him, and it'll get Sirius to relax. I think we both have vested interests in those consequences, wouldn't you say?"
Remus stared at him. Blinked. "You're so weird," he muttered.
"So you'll help me?"
"Of course."
"You sure that's what you want to do, Regulus?" Sirius asked, looking straight at him. He wasn't fooled for an instant, and Regulus got the distinct impression that he'd live to regret this if the date didn't go well.
"Relax mate," James said from the other side of the table, "it's just butterbeer. It's not like he's trying to cop some firewhiskey from Madame Rosmerta or summat."
"Exactly," Remus said, then grabbed Regulus's arm and dragged him away from the table before Sirius could make Regulus rethink his choices.
"You realise they're not coming back, don't you?" Sirius said, turning towards James with an eyebrow raised.
"Why wouldn't they?" he asked, frowning.
"All signs point to this being a misguided set-up between the two of us."
James blinked. Sirius would be lying if he said it wasn't adorable-- those big doe eyes behind his glasses and half-hidden under a fringe of hair that couldn't be tamed. Regulus had noticed Sirius looking (if not for years, then at least he picked it up sometime in the past few months), but James had missed it entirely, judging by the surprise on his face. "What? I- Remus?" His face flamed, and he looked for his runaway friend. "I'm going to bloody murder him," he muttered.
"What happened to 'it's only a butterbeer'?" Sirius couldn't help but ask, raising an eyebrow.
"That was when I thought they were coming back," James hissed.
Sirius snorted, then clicked his mug against James's. "You going to enjoy your drink or are you going to stage a heroic retreat?"
At the word retreat, James's face set stubbornly. If he hadn't already been sitting, he would've done it right then, just to prove a point. He took a sip of his drink, staring at Sirius all the while.
Wow. Sirius couldn't have planned that better if he tried. Maybe he should give Regulus some slack for his too-obvious methods at the start, since clearly he'd had some clue for what would happen if he could get both of them here. "So is this you admitting that a date with me wouldn't be the worst thing ever, or are you expecting for me to be the one to run off so you can save face?"
"Saving face is for people who don't have the bollocks to back up what they say."
Sirius was horribly charmed by that the conviction with which he said that. Of course, he had a bad habit of being charmed by everything James did that didn't immediately annoy him-- and even then, it was something of a toss up that was mostly based by Sirius's mood and little else. "I feel like I should keep you talking to see how true that is."
"Alright." James took a swig. "What do you want me to talk about?"
"Your little group of friends."
"The Marauders," James said.
"Yeah. Does it not strike you as a little silly to have come up with a group name?"
James narrowed his eyes. "Are you picking a fight, Black?"
"I wasn't, but if you call me by my last name, that's exactly what's going to happen. Between you and me, I don't think you'd come out on top," Sirius said, more bite to his voice than he meant for there to be. He leaned back after noticing how he'd started to go over the table as he talked. He cleared his throat and took a sip. "Maybe this wasn't a good idea." Before he could stand, James's foot knocked against his-- light and purposeful.
"Stay," he said, tone tinged with pleading, even if he wouldn't admit to it aloud. Hell, he couldn't even make eye contact right now, but the fact that he cared enough to try at all was reason enough for Sirius to stay.
"Fine, but I want the good stories. None of the sanitized stories you tell to Evans."
"You think Lily is a lot more innocent in these proceedings than she is."
"For the sake of her position as Head Girl, I'll pretend that I didn't hear that," Sirius said with a smirk. Honestly, he'd thought that James would be a bit more reserved telling him anything, let alone details that could get another precious Gryffindor in trouble. James and his little group was one thing, Lily Evans was another. "Didn't you two date for a while?"
James made a face. "I wouldn't call one month 'a while'."
"You only dated for a month?" Sirius asked incredulously. "Bloody hell. I thought it was more like a year."
"A year?" James repeated, raising an eyebrow.
"Yeah."
"She'd never be able to put up with me for that long."
"Your mates seem to have put up with you for several years and still want more." Sirius knew that he definitely wanted more, but to be fair to Evans, he'd mostly been watching from a distance. Talking in class didn't really count as spending time together-- unless it was someone he buggering hated, in which case class time was far too much.
"Yeah but that's friends, not dating. Trust me, they'd get tired of me pretty quickly if we were dating."
"Maybe you just need someone made of stronger stuff."
James opened his mouth to retort, probably to say something about how Evans was plenty strong, but he must have caught the look on Sirius's face, because he stopped. Blushed a little and said, "Maybe. Got any volunteers?"