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Bakugou is shaking.
He’s already on the ground, having slapped Midoriya’s hand away, refusing help. He doesn’t deserve it. He’s the reason Japan lost their symbol of peace.
He tries to stand, its all he wants to do, to prove he’s still strong enough, but his hand gives out under the harsh gravel around him, bringing him into contact with the ground. Lifting his head, there’s a small moment where Midoriya and Bakugou look at each other, silence filling the air around them, until the blonde stutters in his breathing, and he gives in, falling back to the ground, digging his teary face into the gravel, doing all he can to block the other boy out of his senses. He hates Deku; Hates his stupid face, his annoying muttering, his bruised arms that slowly help him to sit, his scarred hands that softly wipe the gravel away. He hates how Deku holds him close, quietly soothing him.
He hates how he gives in, burying his head into his rivals neck, shaking, whispering, “It’s my fault.” over and over.
Midoriya doesn’t want to see this. He knows the loud, brash Kacchan, who screams at his friends, scares people with his anger, fights like each battle is his last, but right now, he’s a ghost of himself. Midoriya doesn’t really know what to do, unsure as to what would be an overstepped boundary, but he does his best. While one hand stays firmly wrapped around his friends shoulders, the other sinks into blonde hair, slowly shaking the gravel out. When he feels satisfied, he rests his head atop Kacchan’s, quietly replying to his cries, “It wasn’t your fault.”
Bakugou would fight back, but he’s already fought so much, and he’s so tired, so he listens. For once in his life, he actually listens to Deku.
“Kacchan, I know you want to blame yourself. I know because I want to blame myself as well. I know it hurts, but please, please don’t hurt alone.” He’s still sobbing, covering Deku with a small layer of snot and tears, but neither of them care. He feels a hand slowly card through his hair, grabbing on slightly as tears slowly fall onto him, Deku allowing himself to crumble slightly, “Don’t blame yourself. It’s not your fault the League kidnapped you. Its not your fault All Might’s like this now. Stop punishing yourself…please,” He hears Deku’s own voice falter,
“…Katsuki.”
Katsuki hears his name, hears the tenderness in Deku’s voice, and melts. His grip tightens, suddenly crashing to reality. No-one else has known him this long, no one else has watched him for this long. He buries his face in further, ghosting a name on the others neck, “Izuku…” Katsuki’s breath is warm, sending a shiver down his spine, “I don’t need you protecting me…I’m-I’m strong enough on my own.”
“I don’t care, you’re my friend and I hate seeing you hurt like this.”
Izuku isn’t thinking right. He lightly scratches Katsuki’s head and he isn’t thinking right, because this contact should normally result in violence, but Katsuki begins to calm, so he continues. He doesn’t want to think when they finally face each other, as Izuku moves a hand until it cups the side of Katsuki’s face, where he looks so small.
Katsuki’s never had someone hold him so tight, yet so carefully. He’s so young, but his heart aches as if its been aching for decades, a part of him trying to not need this, as he turns into Izuku’s scarred hand, hoping that if he can’t see anything, he can be in his room, staring blankly at the ceiling. It’s not long, though, until Izuku turns his head back, and speaks to him, his voice quiet and dry, “This isn’t me forgiving you. I…don’t think I want to do that. This is me giving you a chance to take your guard down. No one else needs to know. You deserve to change.” Izuku wipes a tear away, “You aren’t the reason for All Might’s end. Please don’t carry this with you.”
Katsuki replies, voice cracking and shaking, ”Why am I suddenly walking in your shadow?”
Izuku is startled by Katsuki’s words, “How have you been able to pass me? I used to feel so big, and now…now I just feel…small. I see the leaps you make everyday, and it hurts because I always thought I would be stronger than you,” His head falls into the others chest, “I was told I’d always be stronger than you, because you were quirkless. Friends, peers, teachers, even my own parents! They always said my quirk was strong and I was only strong because you were quirkless! I believed it for so many years! And now you have this quirk, and you get stronger every day, and I want to cheer you on but I can’t! I can’t!”
“Why?”
“…Because I hurt you, and bullies like me don’t get redeemed.”
Katsuki bursts out, angry at at society that actively encouraged his attitude, that let him get away with comments he only understood the meanings of a few years ago. He listened to people spit on those who were quirkless, and received praise when he repeated them. Izuku was the one person to see past his quirk, and he allowed himself to push him away. Even after he learnt that the words he parroted could severely hurt others, he chose to continue, because society taught him that this was ok, and a part of him, some sick, twisted part of him, liked having this power. He never faced punishment for his actions and it made him depend on them.
Katsuki sounds broken when he speaks, “I never got punished for what I said to you. You were the only person to tell me I was wrong, but no! I couldn’t fucking listen because ‘Dumb Deku doesn’t have a quirk! What does he know? He doesn’t think he’s broken!’ I never listened to you. I knew I was wrong, but I still said that stupid fucking shit because you’d disappear out of my life soon enough, but then you get a quirk, and you get into UA, and you get mentored by All Might, and you have his quirk and you surpass me and I want to say sorry for everything! But…I...CAN’T.”
When he finally looks up, after Izuku cups his face and makes him look into his forrest eyes, he answers, trembling, “You always told me I’d be a quirkless loser forever, you always called me Deku, you told me to pray for a quirk and jump,” the words sting in Katsuki’s ears, “But I’m still here. As much as you hurt me, you pushed me. I heard you and thought ‘I’ll show him, I’ll be a hero with or without quirk. I’ll save people and put smiles on faces!’ What you used to say, what you said, hurt me, but it made me push further. Your words inspired me to go beyond expectations. You inspire me, Katsuki.”
Katsuki sees the determination in Izuku’s face, he knows the other won’t give up until he’s seen Katsuki grow.
“Izuku?” he questions, “Do you mean this, or are you saying this because you think you have to?”
The green haired boy sighs, using his thumbs to wipe the blondes tears away, “I mean this. Every word. You deserve to try again”
They look at each other, and as Izuku wipes a tear away, Katsuki finally understands his feelings. It seems as if Izuku has as well, his hand resting on Katsuki’s cheek as they close the already small distance between them. It’s a soft and tender kiss. Katsuki tastes of caramel and salt, his lips softer than Izuku would have guessed, and the taste of yuzu lingers on the blondes lips as they pull away.
They hold each other, red eyes looking on at green in awe, with tenderness, and as he whispers, “Izuku. I want to try again.”, they once again close the millimetres between each other, Katsuki wrapping his arms around Izuku, burying a hand in soft green curls, kissing him softly.