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Eiji felt as though he had grown accustomed to the small nuances of living in New York, well as used to New York as he could be with the looming threat of death and danger around every corner. Although he knew that his view of the city was skewed in a damning way he wouldn't change it for the world, at the very least his experience made it so that Eiji could appreciate Ash’s decisions, even the ones that would cause bloodshed or pain. Even more specifically when it came to involving him, he knew that everything was created with safety as the upmost concern and feelings just shoved to the side. But Eiji saw the truth of Ash in their moments alone, he saw that he wished nothing more than to provide comfort to Eiji even in the turbulence of his new found life here. So it wasn't completely out of question for him to be asked to go for a walk out in the city, especially if it had been a few days since he had last been let out. It was a small act that Eiji really appreciated, even if Ash didn't fully understand how kind it made him look.
Eiji would always bring his camera with them when he was allowed to explore the city snapping shots of the city life and every time they went on their walks, he would stop at a corner or in front of a new grimy bodega while Ash would patiently stand next to him, sometimes smirking in bemusement of how Eiji was able to find something fascinating in the dirt of the city. So nothing was out of the ordinary when Eiji pulled out his camera to capture just how whimsical the tall buildings looked from the street, but when Eiji looked away from the viewfinder he didn't see Ash loitering a few feet behind him.
Suddenly it felt as though he was drowning, scanning the crowd frantically trying to choke out Ash’s name, praying he’d catch the sight of the red converse or the familiar messy blonde hair being barely obscured by a hood. Fear flooded through his body as all of the gruesome thoughts of what could have happened to Ash flashed through his mind that was until he saw him crouched over by the entrance of the subway.
Eiji was happy to find him but as he took a better look at the scene he saw that Ash was in fact kneeling in front of a small child and had his hand placed lightly on her head. He was too far away to hear any of what was being said but he saw the tears streaming down her face and how Ash was trying to comfort the small girl. A warmth spread over Eiji that made his cheeks flush and his heart race seeing how soft Ash could really be made him feel so overwhelmed.
As he began walking over to the two Eiji saw the small girl launch herself into Ash’s arms, her body heaving with sobs that were now audible to him Ash reacted quickly rubbing small circles on the girls back and in a way cradling her. This was a scene so intimate it couldn't help but make Eiji think of a possible future where Ash was comforting his own daughter. Somewhere far removed from violence of the city, somewhere where they all could be safe and happy and be allowed to put their guards down. In realizing what he had just said Eiji took a deep breath trying to clear his thoughts and rid the onslaught of emotions that he was feeling.
Once he had control of his own thoughts he kneeled down next to the pair softly asking them if everything was okay. His efforts to compose himself were short lived as his eyes met with Ash’s and he saw his beaming smile and the softest look that Eiji had ever seen on any gang members eyes as he responded.
“Oh, yea! Everythings okay, Anna here just got a little separated from her parents” he rubbed her back as she kept sobbing into his shirt but readjusted so that he was able to scoop her into his arms and they could stand comfortably, in the new found position Ash began to slowly rock on his feet in a way that was to soothe her. The girl- Anna took this as an opportunity to bury her face even farther into his neck, this site left Eiji marveling at how even with all of the boundaries that he kept with most it came naturally to let her burrow into his side with no reaction from Ash at all. It was now a fact that Eiji had the privilege of knowing that Ash has the strange ability of being able to comfort and care for children.
“Hey Anna” Ash's voice was quiet and his face was soft. “This is Eiji, my friend, he’s gonna help us find your mama and papa okay?” With that she spared a small glance in Eiji's direction and patted her back a subtle encouragement
Eiji liked to think that he was fairly easy at adapting but he was completely shocked at how comfortable Ash was in this moment. No matter how shocked he felt he tried to wipe the awe off of his face, even though he was nearly positive that Ash couldn't even begin to catch the full range of emotions that he was feeling in this moment. Seeing how many lengths Ash went through to make sure that this child was comfortable and not scared in his presence was enough to make his heart pick up. His feelings were hard to understand but he knew that they had something to do with the fact that he had truly never seen Ash look this sensitive before,It was so far removed from the strong gang leader, or the sarcastic deeply hurt teen that he saw in moments alone.
“Eiji,” Ash met his eyes quickly “ were just gonna wait here for a few minutes to see if her parents backtrack to find her, if it takes longer than that I'll have you take her into the police station a few blocks away it's the first place they’ll look” Eiji smiled and gave a small nod to Ash, he noted silently how hopeful and positive he sounded and how that was probably all because of wanting to comfort Anna.
What wasn't expected was for Anna to cry even harder when she heard Ash himself couldn't take her into the police station, as much as her small voice crying upset him he could only imagine how Ash felt. In another life he would be the one to carry her proudly into the station handing her over to the police ensuring her safety first and foremost. But that was not the life that was possible for him, no matter how sobering the reality it still would sting hearing those words.
Part of Eiji couldn't even blame Anna for throwing a fit at the thought of leaving Ash’s side seeing how much genuine attentiveness and care he was pouring into their conversation. No matter how good he felt like he was with children he couldn't even compare to this natural talent. Something about the maternal attention Ash was giving was infectious and he couldn't help but think of himself and Ash in a situation like this but in a completely different placement.
As the minutes ticked by Eiji was entertained by the small talk that Ash was continuing with the small girl who was now settling down as he hummed her a slow american lullaby that Eiji couldn't recognize. Anna broke the comfortable silence between the three of them, her voice quivering once again.
“I don't think Mommy and Daddy are coming back” tears returning to her eyes quickly but before she was able to get too worked up Ash convinced her that it would be okay and in another minute they would head to the police station.
A moment this soft could last forever in a city that is ever moving, but Eiji basked in every fleeting moment of domesticity, allowing his mind to wander to a place where family was with Ash and him and kids. Everything about this scene he wanted to burn into the back of his eyelids.
Anna's dark hair messy that was being smoothed down by Ash, her puffy eyes now closed as she rested her head once again on his shoulder. Her thumb was in her mouth and despite the quiet cries coming from her she looked comfortable and serene. Ash’s features were so contradictory and at the same time perfect, his brow was furrowed lightly and his eyes were shut but he wore a lazy smile that exuded happiness. It wasn't a conscious choice but Eiji had begun to take his camera out of his bag, everything about this moment deserved to be encapsulated forever.
As his fingers began to press lightly on the shutter, Ash redirected his attention to him, flashing a toothy smile directly at him. It was in this moment that Eiji realized that he was wrong, Ash knew exactly what he was feeling and he was most definitely feeling the same way in this strange situation. Deep inside of him Eiji felt warmth spread to the very tips of his ears and all over his face, goosebumps making their way down his arms. Everything he saw in this moment was so overwhelming so he put all of his efforts into getting the perfect shot of this moment, to commemorate the feeling he was having in this moment.
It wasn't until Eiji had put his camera away that he realized this was the first time that Ash had genuinely smiled for a picture, before he could really process what this meant Ash broke the silence.
“Alright Anna,” Ash began waiting for the small girl to peel herself away from his neck “ I think it's just about time to head to the police office to get you back to mama and papa.” he gulped and shifted his eyes to Eiji “ Eiji will take you in for me, but I can carry you all the way there” Anna nodded and shoved her face into his neck once again.
In this moment it was really easy to see how much Ash wished he wasn't The Ash Lynx and he could easily walk into the station, or anywhere without being hyper aware of his surroundings and the danger that could potentially be down every alley.
It was a short walk to the station, only a few blocks and like he had promised Ash carried her close to his chest all the way there, Anna had fallen asleep so the silence that was left between them gave Eiji to imagine a future that was so different from the present that he was living in. A future that gave him the opportunity to see this side of Ash again.
He knew that the moment was over as he saw Ash stop at a the corner across from the station and gently rubbed Anna’s back signalling for her to wake up. As she stirred she rubbed her eyes and yawned, which made both Eiji and Ash chuckle.
“Are we there? Are mommy and Daddy here?” Ana asked, clearly still dazed by her short nap. Ash smiled and responded “ not yet, you gotta go with Eiji remember?” Eiji took this as his que and smiled and took a step closer.
“Okay….” Ana looked between the two of them before hugging onto Ash's neck tightly and saying a loud thank you before reaching over to Eiji.
As EIji took on the small girl he watched as a look of pure pride washed over Ash's eyes, the intensity of the moment was too much so he looked to Ana. He was sure that is how he was looking at Ash but having that expression mirrored back at him was enough to send another wave of love through him.
“Are you ready to go? See its right across the street” Ana nodded and as they began to walk away from ash she turned to look behind them and waved ferociously at Ash. Eiji could have almost sworn that he heard his laugh weave through the crowds of people.
Eiji could tell just how excited Ana got with every step closer they got to the station, and all Eiji could hope to do was see her parents waiting for her right on the inside of the station. But before they even made it up the steps to enter, a woman came barreling out of the police station, her sobs instantly hitting Eiji's ears.
“ANA! BABY IT'S YOU!’ the woman shouted and reach her arms out for her, on first instinct Eiji twisted his body away so that the woman couldn't grab her but he turned and saw Ana reaching out a new set of tears racing down her face and heard her tiny voice yell ‘mommy’
It was at that moment that Eiji realized it was the girl's mother and he handed her over to the sobbing mother explaining how he found her on the corner and took her here after a few minutes of waiting to see if they had backtracked. Seeing their reunion was something that pulled at his heart strings but Eiji left the newly reunited family fairly quickly because the thought of Ash waiting around for him to come back saddened him. He was sure to walk quickly back to the alley where Ash was waiting.
Once reunited there was an air of silence that Eiji understood as a limit on bringing up what had just happened, ash just asked once to make sure she had found her parents then nodded, raked his fingers through his hair then started their originally planned walk. ALthough the situation was over EIji couldn't help but ruminate over how right it felt to see ash in a caretaker position, it was something that had blindsided him even though he did already see ash as a protective and deeply soft person it was completely different to actively see the gentile exterior he portrayed to Anna so easily.
Eiji pushed away those thoughts knowing that it was pointless to fantasize of a family with Ash, he knew how naive he may be with how turbulent the world of Ash Lynx was but Eiji couldn't help but have faith that someday that would be a possibility. No matter how far in the future Eiji would always dream of the day that the picture perfect family he had pictured could become a reality.