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“Bruce, listen to me. You’re hulking out…”
“I don’t Hulk Out ANYMORE!!!”
Bruce had a stool above his head and had gotten demonstrably taller.
Darcy held both her hands up to show she wasn’t a threat. “It’s okay big buddy. Just tell me what I can do.”
Bucky came skidding into the lab with Sam at his heels.
“Guys,” Darcy said calmly, “We need some extra hands with these equations. Babe, can you type in what Bruce reads off to you? And Sam, grab a broom and dustpan from that closet there, for me, willya?”
“Doll…” Bucky warned.
“Bruce is just a little stressed and needs some extra hands, that’s all. Right, Bruce?”
Banner took some deep breaths and lowered the stool. As he lowered the stool, his size started to shrink. He was still big and green, but less so.
“Darcy, I’m so sorry.”
“No worries, big fella. Looks like I need to start looking for some lab assistants for you.”
With no fear, she patted his arm. “Next time tell me if you need help. Okay?”
“A chick magnet!”
Darcy pressed the tablet against the shower glass.
Bucky actually was startled enough to jump.
“See? I can dress like a chick and you can wear a…”
“Doll?” he interrupted. “What are you talking about?”
“Our Halloween costumes…”
Bucky opened the shower door, grabbed her tablet, and tossed it on the vanity. Then, before she could react, he grabbed her wrist and pulled her into the shower with him.
Darcy was enjoying her decorating magazine in peace. She hadn’t really been going for peace when she camped out in the common room. She really thought there would be hustle and bustle and people to talk to. But everyone was either in their lab or in their apartment or….
Wanda came storming in the door.
Literally.
There was lightning and everything.
On her heels, were Sam and Bucky.
Sam scolded, “Wanda!”
And she turned and let out a little blast of energy that sent the two men skidding on their butts across the floor.
“Leave me alone!”
“What the hell?” Darcy waited until the storm had passed, or in this case, gone to her room.
“We were teaching her to fly the quinjet and she snapped,” Sam explained.
“Why would she snap? What did you two buttheads say to her?”
Bucky extended his hand to help Sam to his feet. “We didn’t say anything. Sam was just explaining how the steering is much different than driving a car, and she… did that.” He gestured to where Wanda had stormed away.
“Does Wanda know how to drive a car?” Darcy pondered.
She encountered two blank stares.
“You guys don’t know. And I bet she never bothered to ask anyone to teach her.” Darcy turned and went in the direction that Wanda went. As she walked she muttered, “I swear, you people are gonna be the death of me.”
“Han Solo and Princess Leia?” Darcy asked.
“What?”
Bucky’s voice was barely audible over the sound of the jet engine.
Curiosity got the better of her, “Where are you? The quinjet isn’t that loud.”
“Not on the quinjet…”
Darcy put it all together. The rush of the air. The engine noise. The rushed tone of his voice.
“James Buchanan Barnes, exactly what kind of plane are you on?”
Darcy emphasized the word on. Because with that noise, she didn’t think he was in any kind of plane. He was probably hanging off a wing. And he answered her call. Which was simultaneously sweet and….
“You are idiotic! Next time let me go to voicemail!”
Darcy let her leg bounce nervously.
She hated hospitals.
Even if they were in the Compound.
They had that smell… and the noises.
“Darcy?”
Dr. Palmer had kind eyes.
Darcy always appreciated that about her.
“You can go in, he’s asking for you.”
Darcy opened the door and leaned against the doorframe, “And what did we learn?”
Rhodey looked pitiful. Then again, he was probably playing it up.
He let out a big sigh.
Yeah. He was playing it up.
“Don’t eat from your personal fridge if you’ve been on a mission for two weeks?”
“I’ll amend that to three days. Salmonella, bad. Next time, ask me. I’ll bring you some food. It’s less trouble than finding you passed out in your rooms. And you need to thank Friday for alerting me.”
“Why did Friday alert you, specifically?”
“I set myself up as everyone’s emergency contact. Because let’s face it, none of you know how to ask for help. Especially from each other.”
“Brad and Janet!”
“I don’t know who that is, Doll.”
Darcy slid her Stark Tablet across the table to show him the picture.
Bucky promptly spit out his water.
Like a full-on spit take. Just like in a sitcom.
“You don’t have to be all 1940’s, Buck. My bathing suit shows more skin than that.”
Bucky shook his head in utter distress. “I am not wearing that, Doll. I’d be…embarrassed.”
“Have you not seen you? You’re way hot. You can pull it off.”
“I meant the glasses.”
“Darce?”
Darcy didn’t even bother to look up from her laptop. “Second drawer on the right,” she told Jane.
Darcy listed to a few loud metallic thunks. Then a thunk that sounded much less metallic. Followed by Jane letting out a string of curses.
A few minutes later, Jane approached, “Still looking for couples costumes?”
“Yeah.” Darcy sighed in frustration. “It has to be epic, Janey.”
Jane sucked her thumb…ah… that was the non-metallic thunk. “Well…” she said through her injured thumb, “You have a couple of weeks.”
“The party was my idea. It’s a team-building thing. It has to be perfect.”
“It doesn’t have to be perfect,” Jane argued back. She pulled her thumb out of her mouth and frowned at her injury.
“Have you picked out your costume?”
“Um…yeah… Sam and I have an idea.”
“Wait…” Darcy narrowed her eyes, “Are you and Sam doing couples costumes?”
“No, because we aren’t a couple. We’re two people whose best friends are a couple, so we get thrown together.”
“And you’re friends,” Darcy added.
“And we’re friends,” Jane agreed.
“Penny for your thoughts, Darcy-Doll.”
Darcy realized she had been absently stirring the same pot of soup over and over for several minutes. Bucky probably noticed her staring blankly. His arms around her waist and his chin over her shoulder broke her reverie.
“Nobody asks for help,” she told him.
She could see the reflection of his face in the shiny stovetop and it pulled into a little frown.
She continued, “It’s like…you’re all Avengers but you’re not The Avengers yet. You know?”
“We’re not quite a team yet,” Bucky agreed. “But these things take time.”
She turned in his arms and argued, “Maybe the team thing will come quicker if you act like a family. Everyone is always in their own quarters, doing their own thing. I mean, we did karaoke night once. And that was awesome. Why aren’t we doing other things like that?”
Bucky shrugged and offered, “Busy.”
“You know what, Buckaroo? If I want to get something done, I need to do it myself. Let Mission: Team Building commence!”
Bucky pulled away and reached for his phone.
“Who are you calling?”
“Jane. I’m supposed to warn her when you have a mission.”
“Doll…” Bucky called from the bedroom.
Darcy adjusted her costume. The red tube top threatened to slip down. And that wouldn’t be good. Boobs popping out. Eyeballs exploding everywhere. Not good.
“Babe, can you grab my red tank top out of the closet?”
“Doll…” he repeated, “I have some questions.”
“About?” Darcy checked her lipstick in the mirror. Perfect.
She adjusted the crown of leaves on her head and then yanked the top up again.
Bucky emerged from their (really hers, but let's face it…) bedroom.
She let out a giggle of delight and bounced a little bit. She pulled the top up again. Yeah. She was changing the top before she flashed anyone. The resulting mayhem and chaos could ruin the party.
Bucky stood there in a plush gray hooded footie pajamas. Alien ears and antenna were sewn into the hood.
“You look so cute!” she applauded with joy.
“How did you talk me into this?” he asked with a pout and a sigh as he held his arms out and looked down at his ensemble.
“You agreed to a couple's costume and you said you wanted to be comfortable. I fail to see the problem.”
“I look ridiculous.”
“I think you mean adorable.” Darcy tugged at the top again. “I have to change this top…”
“Really?” Bucky raised an eyebrow… "I don’t see a problem.”
He stalked toward her and pulled her in tight. He looked her up and down with a dark, seductive gaze. He even bit his lower lip for effect. “You know, I wouldn’t mind being fashionably late.”
Darcy promptly dissolved into giggles. “Did you really think you could seduce me while dressed as Stitch?”
Bucky rolled his eyes, “I should have gone with Han Solo.”
She squirmed away from his grip and escaped to the bedroom, where she changed into a bra and the tank top. From the living room, he asked, “How did Wanda do today with her driving lesson?”
“Excellent. She’s a natural. She didn’t even use her powers. Even when she almost hit the new lab assistant’s car.”
“Bruce’s new assistant? He’s been vetted, right?”
“Yes, worrywart. He’s from U-Gin. He’s worked with Helen for years.”
“Speaking of Helen,” Bucky smiled at Darcy when she emerged from the bedroom. She gave a little spin and let the grass skirt flare out. He finished, “Did you know that Rhodey asked her out?”
“Good. Lord knows that man needs someone to take care of him.”
“You ready to party, Lilo?”
“Mission: Team Building entering its final stage.”
Bruce and Hope won the toilet paper mummy race. Bruce didn’t tear a single sheet.
Wanda won the bobbing for apples competition. She MAY have used her powers.
Rhodey and Helen came dressed as Han and Leia. So did Hope and Scott.
Jane and Sam came as Flo from Progressive and Jake from State Farm.
And at the end of the night, Bucky was able to seduce Darcy while dressed as Stitch.