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Wasted Time

Summary:

As expected, Barbatos saw right through your plan. Literally.

Notes:

MC is gn!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

“Oh my devil, oh my devil, Mammon, is this really a good idea?” You’re pacing around Lord Diavolo’s guest bathroom, clutching the walkie-talkie in your hands. “How did you manage to convince me to do this? I don’t know if I can do this.”

“Relax. Ya haven’t even done anythin’ yet.” Mammon responded from the other side of the walkie-talkie. If you had to guess, you could assume that he was somewhere snooping around in the castle, looking for something he could pawn that Lord Diavolo hopefully wouldn’t notice missing. Getting it past Lucifer or Barbatos however, would be a different story. “And what’s the worst that could happen, huh? I already told ya if he tries anythin’ sketchy that I’ll be there to protect ya.” Your eyebrow twitched from how casual Mammon was at times like this. “Lord Diavolo invited everyone to the castle for a fancy lunch, it’s the perfect opportunity to try out your charms on Barbatos!”

“Okay, look,” your hand ran over the front of your shirt, smoothing the fabric down, “it’s one thing to hand out pick up lines to your brothers, right? And even Solomon and Simeon, but don’t you feel like it’s crossing a line with Barbatos and Lord Diavolo? I feel like Lucifer might actually punish me for it. Honestly, I’m more scared about Lucifer than Barbatos.” You were in a dilemma; Mammon had been scheming away on ways for you to improve your pick up lines and he was currently convinced that if you managed to successfully lay one out on Lord Diavolo’s butler, Barbatos, that you would be practically invincible. You’re not sure how that works, but questioning it would only give you a headache. “If I fail, I’m going to embarrass myself in front of everyone.”

“Ya won’t fail, not if ya have me there with ya. So please, just relax. Barbatos is not some big scary monster.”

“You’re also not a human.” 

“Touché. Anyway, get outta the bathroom. If ya hole yourself up in there the entire time Lord Diavolo is goin’ to become suspicious of ya.” With Mammon’s reasoning coming through the walkie-talkie, you sighed and unlocked the bathroom door. How did he even manage to convince you to bring a walkie-talkie to the castle? What would be more embarrassing you wonder, failing a pick up line with Barbatos or having people see you walking around with a walkie-talkie? 

You needed to figure out how to get Barbatos alone from prying eyes, especially from Lucifer, you wouldn’t be able to muster up any courage with the eldest brother watching. However, getting Lord Diavolo’s butler alone at a lunch hosted by said Lord of the Devildom would be no easy task. If you had to guess, you’d assume that Barbatos was running around making sure everything was perfect, as well as keeping a watchful eye on Mammon. Your eyes scanned the empty hallway, a sigh of relief escaping you when you didn’t spot the butler. It wouldn’t matter; you would still have plenty of time. Before you could turn around and make your way toward the dining hall, a familiar voice called out to you, making you pause. 

“You’re rather far from the dining hall, aren’t you?” You inhaled deeply before turning around to lock gazes with Barbatos. Realistically, you should be happy that you ran into him now, where the two of you are completely alone, but yet you couldn’t find yourself to be. If you kept this up, you’re sure you’ll have sweat stains on your shirt. “Did you get lost?” His gentle voice met your ears and you felt heat creeping up your neck. “I could escort you back to the main room.” 

“I, uh-- no. I’m not lost.” Was it hot in the room or was it just you? There’s a slight mischievous glint dancing around in Barbatos’ eyes and it almost unnerves you. You’re used to that look with Mammon, and that look has never brought you anything good. You watched as his lips curved upwards slightly to form a small smirk, and just like that, you felt the little confidence you had dwindle completely.  “Gee, look at the time, I should probably head back to the main room--”

“Why do you possess a walkie-talkie?” 

Your eyes dropped to the old walkie-talkie gripped in your hand and you felt a cold sweat break out across your skin. You decided that being caught with a walkie-talkie was in fact more embarrassing. Your mind ran blank as you tried to think of excuses; it was hard to think up anything when you had Barbatos staring at you expectedly. “Mammon.” You figured that would explain itself. 

That seemed to work, the green-haired demon nodding his head once. “That explains it. I decided that I would rather not know.” Just when you thought that Barbatos was going to drop the subject and let you go, his gaze locked with yours once again and you felt yourself backed into a corner. Perhaps it was foolish to play games with a demon who could control time? “You’re not being honest with me.” 

“What?” Your voice naturally raised and you felt yourself flush from the way you squeaked. “The walkie-talkie really is from Mammon!” You held it up lamely as if surrendering, though you were not entirely sure what you’re surrendering for. 

“What are you really doing down here?” Oh shit, he probably thought you were snooping around or participating in one of Mammon’s schemes. Your face lost some of its color when realizing the predicament you were in. If Barbatos seriously suspected you of something in Lord Diavolo’s castle, you could end up in a lot of trouble with a lot of people. Would it be best to just outright defend yourself, explaining that you’re not doing anything suspicious, or would that make you look even more suspicious in his eyes? 

“Relax. You look like I’m about to kill you.” There’s no malice to his voice, but that did little to soothe your frayed nerves. “You were looking for me, weren’t you?” Your eyes squeezed shut when seeing the demon lift his hand, not sure what to expect. However, they snapped back open when you felt his gloved hand cup your chin delicately. “Will you answer me if I ask why you were looking for me?” 

“Uh…” 

“I lost an hour of time.” Barbatos stated plainly, eyes never leaving yours. “Can I borrow one of yours?” Your eyes widened when realizing what was happening, and you quickly pushed away from Barbatos. 

“Did you just steal the pick up line I was going to use on you?” A soft laugh left Barbatos as you scrambled to your feet. “I even specifically looked up ones involving time for you!” 

“I set my clock two hours ahead so I could see a future with you in it.” 

“Barbatos! Stop using the pick up lines I was going to use on you!” Similarly to a child, you stomped your foot on the floor with a pout on your lips. “I only had a few ready!” 

“You weren’t using them, so I decided to use them for you. You really looked as if you’d seen a ghost for a minute back there.” He smoothed out the front of his uniform, the small smirk still clinging to his lips. “Did you forget that I can see into the future? I already knew your intentions for coming today, so I purposely made sure that I was easily approachable for your task.” The more he talked, the more you wanted to bury yourself in a hole. “But you never approached me, so I figured I looked into the wrong timeline, and that maybe in this one you got scared and backed out. In the one I saw, you approached me confidently with the pick up lines, although I suppose I should have been suspicious. You’ve never striked anyone as the confident type, have you?” You felt your eyes narrow as he continued on; you couldn’t believe he just dragged you like that. 

You stood straighter as you desperately tried to think of a new pick up line. You would not let Barbatos beat you at your own game. It’s as if a lightbulb popped up over your head and you snapped your fingers eagerly. “Don’t your feet hurt? You’ve been running around my mind all day.” 

Barbatos looked completely unfazed by your sudden pick up line, however, leaving you uncertain if he already knew you’d be using one against him. “They do; it’s quite tiring to chase people around in their nightmares all the time.” You awkwardly took a step away from him. 

“There must be something wrong with my eyes!” You quickly blurted out, leaning forward and staring at him with wide eyes. “I can’t seem to take them off you!” 

“You could end up with a restraining order if you tried that on the wrong person.” His arms were tucked behind his back, his smile slightly bigger as he looked at you. “Oh dear, what was that?” He asked just as you winked at him. “Were you attempting to wink or was that a blink? Or perhaps you actually have something wrong with your eyes? Maybe you’re actually voicing your concerns to me.” 

You sighed in annoyance as you threw your head back. “You’re impossible.” 

“Maybe.” There’s a cheeky smile on his lips when he takes a step toward you. You watched him cautiously, an eyebrow quivering as you anticipated his next action. “But if you’d like, I could let you in on a little secret.” The shock must have been evident on your face, because Barbatos let out another laugh. “You’ll have better luck with Lord Diavolo.”

Notes:

i plan on watching banana fish soon. should i be scared?
also if you have any suggestions or requests feel free to leave them below! next i'll be doing lord diavolo :)

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