Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“ Freedom is what you do with what’s been done to you.”

-Jean-Paul Sartre

     The word almost looks foreign to her. Freedom. Amity knows what it is, what it means, in an objective sense. She has read it a thousand times in texts— be it creative literature that her mother requires her to read, or the academic literature the school force feeds its students. Simple, two syllabled word. Nothing too difficult.

     And yet… why couldn’t she construct a single paragraph pertaining her… experience around it.

     It was this damn essay, she swears. She can write effortlessly on something objective and statistical like GDPs and the Anatomy and Physiology of a Demon in their 30’s (no matter how oddly specific that is) but when it comes to something personal she… gets lost. Don’t get her wrong, her diary’s filled back to back with things way too personal than she would like but…that’s it. It’s too personal to share, and the essay requires her to share.

     The data she can infer from books are adequate— plentiful, actually. But the data she can infer from her own library of experiences is pitiful. It is horribly pitiful— One sentence, just one sensible sentence should be enough! You’d think 18 years in this god forsaken place was enough for a lengthy reflective essay but nope!

     After she successfully writes a sentence, she can just bullshit her way through the rest.

     But no. Damn it. Of course life wouldn’t just lay itself so beautifully bear to her, easy to comprehend and grasp. Of course it would be a tangled barb wired mess with electric current passing through it.

     “Mittens you’ve been at that for hours, dinner’s getting cold,” her sister, Emira, calls out from her doorway, leaning cooly against it as if she were posing for a photo. Fucking extra.

     She shushes her sister and clicks her tongue, “shut up, I need to think.”

     “Not when it’s almost full moon you’re not. You need to eat something. If you go into your wolf form starving who knows what you might’ve eaten through the night,” Emira chides through furrowed brows.

     Another hindrance to her activities. The damn Alpha thing. Why oh why was she the only Alpha among the three children her parents gave life to? It seems stupid if she thinks about it, for the youngest girl to be the Alpha— not only stupid but excruciatingly annoying. That and the fact that she was given the ability to shift into a wolf. A rare ability, a genetic gift given only to the most powerful of alphas. Her father had it, and her grandmother had it, now she has it.

     “I know.” Amity sighs, “but if I don’t finish this now, I’d have trouble tomorrow.”

     Emira glances at the stack of books and papers on top of Amity’s desk and she sighs as well. She wishes she could help, but her sister would never let her touch her work, no matter how much she needs it. She had always been the perfectionist of them all— a trait she got from both their parents. Unfortunately.

     “Fine. But if you end up killing and eating a poor goblin tonight you’d regret it come morning.”

     “Calm down, I can control my wolf to some extent, at least.”

     “Remember when you came home with—“

     “Okay! Fine! I’ll eat something!” Amity gives up. She throws her hand up in submission and stands, sending her chair back with a skid on the floor. “God knows when you’ll shut up if I didn’t.”

     “Great,” Augh, she wishes she could rip that beaming smile of her sister’s face right now, “I’ll microwave it for you. Ed’s still on the table so join him as fast as you can.” With that, Amity watches with great disinterest as her older sister recedes down the stares and towards the direction of their kitchen.

     A cold night breeze blows through her open window and she shivers. She glances at it, watching the curtains dance with the wind as the light from the stars above shone down on her with their excellence.

     She wonders— just a little bit— if it was possible to talk to them. One by one. From the brightest to the dimmest. She could climb the heavens with her wits and ask them what freedom was. Though a bit of an exaggerated effort for a single essay paper— she was just that desperate. 

     “They look so free…” she finds herself muttering under her breath, “…but so lonely.”

     “MITTENS DINNER!!”

     “I’m coming shut up!”

     She shelves the thought down for now, leaving it to be opened by her shower or midnight thoughts later. If her alpha does not take her consciousness this time…

     Large trees used to scare Luz when she was young. Her little mind bewildered and confused looking up at tall and thick barks of redwood trees, and shielding her eyes from the sunlight that bleeds through its confident leaves. The gentle giants of old, protectors of all, the blanket that covers and shields the earth (aside from the ozone layer, of course).

     It was like swimming down to the bottom of the ocean and seeing a giant squid swimming towards you— not necessarily aggressive, just intimidating.

     As she grows up, the trees start to look less intimidating. Her own legs seemed to bring her higher from the ground, and soon, she finds herself brave and strong enough to even climb them. Tree climbing was a trip on its own— and she loved it. Oh the height she could get in climbing trees was exhilarating. A fresh gust of wind and breathtaking view was the treat she gets after reaching the top.

     However, the trees here in the Boiling Isle were different. It was like she was sent back a couple of years, with her little toddler legs, and her weak nerd arms. The trees stood tall and proud. Their roots protruding from the ground and crawling through a non-patterned chaos of directions, tripping any foolish enough to tread their territory— which unfortunately for Luz’ case, happens to be the entire forest.

     She felt like a child once again. Scared of the trees— scared of what she could not brave to climb nor touch.

     And you know what’s worse? She’s fucking lost in the woods.

     “I swear I’ve passed this shrub twice now,” she says with a tired sigh. She needs to get back to the owl house, and soon. Her paper’s almost out and once out, she’d have no light to guide her dumb ass with through the intimidating darkness of this forest.

    The thing with Luz, among other things, is that the girl has a poor sense of direction. As creative as she was with her coloring-inside-the-lines skills, and her ability to draw perfect circles, it still takes her a few seconds to recognize east from west. Though she thinks it has nothing to do with her intelligence— she just sucks at directions.

     “I went through here then took a left,” she mutters once again, tracing her path, “then I turned and took a right— oops wait no, that’s my left— wait, but that’s…shit.”

     Great. Now she’s a hundred percent sure she’s completely lost. But you know what they say! In everything, do you one hundred percent best!

     (Not at getting lost, you fuck.)

     She laughs… humorlessly, now afraid for her life. She could only imagine the ungodly creatures— awesome they may be and fanart worthy— lurking around the dark, zoning on her and her human flesh. She wanted to scream, a forewarning to them, that they may get sick from eating her, but that’s probably like the worst thing I could do right—

     “FUUUUCCCCKKK— IM OUT!!!! PEACE!!!”

      Luz bolts. She hear rustling behind the bush and her mind just flashed the word “flight” in her eyes with blinding red-light district neon lights. Next thing she knows, her legs were carrying her through directions she does not know what, and paths she does not recognize.

      And from the sound of heavy footsteps and aggressive growling from behind her, it sounds like whatever creature it was, it was following her quite well despite the lack of lighting.

     Soon, her light spell fizzled out into the air and she has to write a new one— God this is so fucking inconvenient, why oh why was I not born with a magic bile sack next to my heart!??

     You see, people can’t just write anything decent while running for their lives. If they could, the world would have more colorful action scenes and better animal studies— so… writing a light spell was physically impossible right now.

     With only the light from the full moon guiding her eyes from thick trees, and protruding roots, she really was at a loss here. Who knows when she’ll hit a tree or fall down a cliff or something like that—

     Oh speak of the devil….

     She bashes face first with a tree. The force sends her backwards and on her butt, slightly dizzy and sight blurred— great, now I’m lost, in danger, and might have a concussion. What’s next? Poisonous bees!?

      She drops on the ground, consciousness slipping. The last thing she sees as everything goes dark was the full moon from a clearing in the trees, beckoning her to follow its gentle light— and damn was it very persuasive.

     How dare you make a mockery of my situation….

      Then, of course, like the dumbass she is when faced with immense danger, she passes out.

     It was rare for her age to be able to have at least a little semblance of control over her wolf form. Usually, Alpha werewolves— the lucky (not really) ones— would only start to be conscious during their wolf form in their early 20s. Amity Blight was only 18. Her father would call her inexperienced, but she never let that put her in a stump.

     It requires extreme patience and concentration to pull this off— one mistake, one slip of the mind, and she’ll be mindlessly roaming the forest as a humongous wolf with the thirst for blood (depending on her mood that day).

     In instances where accidents would happen and she would lose control, she had created a den of some sort in the forest— a safe place, if you will, whenever she deems herself too dangerous to roam, or her rut was close and coming. It was hidden from any possible foot traffic through the forest, and masked with her scent to ward off any random creatures who wanted to trespass. You’d be surprised how many lost predators find themselves in her territory.

     The moment Amity stepped out under the light of the moon, she felt her body shift dramatically. Tearing her clothing to smithereens, her body cracked— bones breaking and forming anew, skin expanding and growing fur, fangs elongating, and tail… wagging?

     What the fuck?

     A certain sweet scent found its way towards her nose. She inhales and — her tail wagged some more.

     WHAT THE FUCK!?

     She wasn’t stupid, she knew the scent belonged to an omega. A sweet and unsuspecting one. In the forest. In the middle of the night. Why the hell would anybody be the in the forest in the middle of the night!? Amity wasn’t stupid, but whoever this omega was, she definitely is.

     She was conscious, and still in control— however, her legs started to move on its own. It pranced around in a circle, sticking her snout up in the air to sniff out the scent some more. Once she has gotten the trail, her body followed it loyally.

     Obviously she was stunned. Not by the scent— although that could partly be the reason— but by her inability to get her own wolf form to follow her orders. She commanded it to stop, and yet it ignored her. Even the simple act of redirecting its attention was futile. Was she too inexperienced after all? Was her father right? Will she be hunting someone tonight and worst of all, actually be conscious to see their death?

     Fuck, she’s panicking, but that only brought more adrenaline to her system. She caught a vague silhouette by the trees and assumes that it was the target of her alpha’s unknown desires. She wanted to scream— beg for that person to run for their life, to hide themselves from her, but only a growl surfaced.

     No, no, no! Please!

     That person… that poor unlucky soul— ……can actually run?

     “FFFUUUCCKKKKK— IM OUT!!! PEACE!!!” The figure screeched, ungodly, and bolted the hell out of there.

     Amity stood there dumbfounded— well she wasn’t standing, obviously, her alpha was still giving chase— as she watched the girl run with an admirable speed.

     She held a light spell on her hand, and ran like her life depended on it— and in this case, it kinda does.

     First she fears… fearing for the life she would have the power to take and for her own conscience to bear— but now, as she watches the girl’s legs take her one step after another away from her, matching her own speed and still keeping a distance, she was intrigued.

     Intriguing it truly is.

     A small smile formed itself on her lips. Whether it was vile or not, she’ll leave it up to the observer.

     Soon, the light from the girl’s hands fizzled out into darkness, returning its power to the nature it belongs to. At that point, Amity knew, the girl was fucked. But how fucked she was, Amity wasn’t sure. In her speed, and lack of vision, she would either smash bodies with a tree, fall down a cliff, or trip and land face first onto the ground. Whichever case, she would wake up with an extreme headache— if she ever wakes up at all.

     Imagine the look of surprise on Amity’s face (not really) when the girl smacks against the tree. The sound of impact ringing across the forest, sending peaceful birds flying into the moonlit night.

     She stops… cautious.

     Her eyes zoned in on the girl, and how she fell limp on the muddy ground. Under the light of the moon, and the serenity of the forest, her eyes could make out a little of what the girl looked like.

     Short brown hair, purple and white striped sweater, soft and supple brown skin, round ears— round ears!?

    She stepped closer and took a good look…

    Luz!?

    That sweet scent was Luz? But more importantly, she was an omega? The fucking human out of all people? Her enemy? The most annoying nerd in school (aside from Willow)?? And her alpha ran after her as if she would die without the scent of her being!?

     Amity released an animalistic growl. How fucking embarrassing. The whole school—heck, even my own friends would tease me if they knew I was thirsting for this… this… this…

     Her thoughts, began to wander, lost to herself, as she looks down on the girl. Unconscious, bleeding on her forehead. Then a realization hit her like a wrench to the head. Oh my Titans, is she dead?

     Did I just kill a person!?

     Amity panics once more. Really, she has been panicking for an entire day, why not a few minutes more?

     Her wolf form stood tall and proud over the human’s body, blocking her from the light of the full moon. She presses her head against the girl’s chest, feeling for any sign of breathing, and all the while ignoring the effects the girl’s scent was doing to her tail— didn’t know my tail could wag that fast…

     Luz breathes, albeit slowly, and Amity releases a sigh of relief.

     Its best that she leaves, before the human wakes up and cause a ruckus. Before she realizes that Amity just almost killed her and tell on everyone, ruining the society’s views on the Blights as noble and powerful. Powerful, yes, but not in a homicidal sense.

     She should leave… her feet should be moving, but why couldn’t she?

     She’s hurt, Amity observes the blood drip down from the human’s head, down to her temple, before dripping to paint the soil a darker shade.

     She’s bleeding… Well fucking duh Amity! This dumbass just had an extreme make out session with a tree what did you expect!?

     The spirits of the forest, and the moon might as well smite her dead right now. Hesitation was truly not a quality of a Blight. Nor staring. And yet here she was doing both.

     Amity leans down towards the girl and picks her up by her sweater. She was careful— though she didn’t really understand why— not to accidentally puncture the human’s delicate skin with her fangs.

     Luz did not move a single limb, nor did she make a single noise, which was rare for a chatter mouth like her— and Amity’s chest clenches in worry… why am I worrying for this useless piece of sh—

     Amity’s ears pricked up, sensing danger lurking about. Though it angers and confuses her, the first thought that came into mind was, protect the human.

Chapter Text

“ If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. “

-Mother Teresa

     Sleep is a wonderful thing.

     A gift from the heavens.

     Amity had forgotten willfully well how long ago it was that she felt herself so deep and so peaceful in slumber. Dreams did not visit her, nor did nightmares. It was nothing but black, and darkness. Though for some, it is boring, for her, it was comforting.

     Amity was comforted… in her sleep no less. How strange was that?  As her eyes lie close and her breathing soft and slow, her mind wanders and wonders on the countless possibilities of her estranged state.

     Was it something she ate the night before? Possibly not. She had nothing but carbonara and water and those never brought her comfort before. Could it be the tea, then? Perhaps. But, those were just for calming herself before she turns, nothing else.

     Could it be… the place where she sleeps? She finds the den quite comfortable— even more comfortable than her own room with her own queen sized bed, dare she say. The cool breeze of the night was gentle on her fur, and the symphonies of insects outside lulls her easily to sleep.

     She remembers the events before that night. How she had met a peculiar thing and brought her home to her den. She cared for the human, cleaned her wounds, and settled her gently on her own— the human!

     How in heavens did I forget about the goddamn human!?

     How could she forget about an entire human being in her den!? It’s almost morning and she cannot bear to show herself to the human. Especially not when she’s naked and confused in her own territory. (Should be the name of a survival reality show)

     Amity jolts awake.

     “Shitshitshit,” she chants under her breath as she stands up from her nest. Without looking to the figure that lie in deep sleep beside her, she dashes towards extra stashes of clothes in her den— a few sets of uniforms she set aside for emergencies and by god was this a huge one.

     Hastily, and probably buttoning her uniform up wrong, she got dressed.

     Not looking back, she leaves her den, dead set on making herself scarce before the human wakes up.

     Problems always seem to be attracted to the Blights. It wasn’t a fact proven to be true, just a quiet observation Amity had made once she got back to their own estate in her… less than acceptable appearance.

     Her parents would just think her irresponsible, but her siblings would add salt to injury by teasing her. Edric and Emira means well, and she knows that by heart. She just sometimes wish she could sew their mouths shut and lock them up in a dungeon. You know… normal sibling stuff.

     Knowing full well the chaos of going through the front door, Amity climbs up to her own room instead. The path had been engraved in her memory as well as her muscles ever since she discovered it when she was 11. Seemed useful when you come home with scratches on your knees, and dirt on your face. That way, her parents wouldn’t have to tell her how irresponsible of her it was. To have fun. To be a child. To have a childhood.

     Man… she shudders at the thought. Thank the Gods they stopped pestering her once she claimed the Top Student title in Hexside.

     Amity sneaks through her window and heads straight towards the bathroom for a lengthy shower. She smells like dirt, and leaves, and muck, and…

     Her steps ceases…

     She takes a sniff at herself. Once more, just to be sure. And the sweet scent just proved her theory correct.

     I smell like the human!

    The sweet, vanilla scent covered and stuck to her like glue— her immediate thought was to wash it off, obviously, but as soon as she was about to turn the knob on the shower, her hand stopped.

    To her, right now, it seemed like a waste— and just basically a blatant and stupid mistake to make. A scent that wasn’t hers, and a scent that she doesn’t want on her, it was enough of a reason to wash off… right? But it smells so nice! Classes would start soon. If she doesn’t hurry up, she’ll be late. There goes her perfect attendance.

     So she turns the knob, and basks gleefully under the hot morning shower. Slowly, but surely, the sweet vanilla scent disappears as her own starts to resurface and reclaim her body. She felt her inner alpha whimper at the loss— did she feel that right? A whimper? Really?

     Pathetic.

     Blights don’t whimper, they shouldn’t. Especially Alpha Blights. She’d be better off engraving that on her skull if she wants less scolding from her parents.

     A whimper… for that human? Is this some kind of sick joke?

     She shakes her head free of the thought. Best if she just ignores it and head for school, breakfast be damned.

—————————————————————

     “My my if it isn’t the half a witch and her pitiful lot. How was your morning— oh wait! I don’t give a shit,” Boscha snickers, hiding the devilish smile with her bent wrist to the mouth. She was with her usual group, the rich and the famous, and un-coincidentally the bullies of the school. It typically consist of two alphas and a beta. Boscha and Amity were the two Alphas, Skara the beta one. However, the green-haired Blight was nowhere to be found.  

     No matter! Don’t dwell on things that’s not there. Strange, but get this, she wakes up with a thirst for anime this morning. She misses it. Apparently the gods did not deem the Boiling Isle worthy enough for anime and tentacles and what not. Tentacles yes, but provided in an innocent sense, like food. Truly it was a shame.

    Even more strange, she wakes up in a cave. Covered in a blanket, with a patch on her forehead— and an extreme headache, ooh she almost forgot about that one.

     She told the teacher it was the reason why she was late but they said she was just making up excuses to skip first period. She wanted to argue, of course, but debating seemed futile when the other party had already made up their mind about the topic. She loves debating— the adrenaline she gets when she speaks are— oops I’m getting distracted again.

     “Just ignore her Willow, she probably slept on the wrong side of the bed,” says Gus with a click of his tongue.

     “I think by that you’re implying that she sleeps on the wrong side of the bed every night,” Luz adds.

      “I’m fine, guys. She does it so much it’s all background noise at this point.”

     Willow smiles, but Luz could feel the self-pity she harbored beneath it. She wishes she could do more for her friend, but between being a human and being barely capable of doing magic, Boscha would definitely win in a fight between them. That doesn’t mean she can’t try though.

     “You can always tell us if she goes too far. I’m always glad to give a person a taste of their own medicine.”

    “What medicine?”

    “It’s a human thing,” Luz smiles.

     The bell rings, and it was cue for them to leave the hallways and head for their own respective class— or in Luz’s case, the healing track!

     She forgot to do the essay. Oh fuck she forgot about the essay. It’s due the day after tomorrow and she hasn’t written a single word on it, oh no she’s f-u-c-k-e-d.

     Granted, she could probably pull an all nighter and finish it the day before but that’s not really her way of doing things— or anyone’s way of doing things— do other people do that? Or am I just too much of a perfectionist? She doesn’t know. All she knows is, she gotta get home and start writing it fast.

     She couldn’t help her mind wander as she walks home though.

    She had seen Willow and her illusionist friend, but for some reason she did not see a certain human frolicking about in the hallways the entire day. Normally, her voice could be heard from meters away but it was awfully quiet whenever she would fetch her books in her locker.

     Was she still asleep in the den? Hasn’t she moved yet?

     At the thought of the human’s injuries seeming way worse than anticipated, Amity’s feet decided to take her towards a different direction. Away from the hustle and bustle of the town and towards where asphalt meets soil— the forest. More specifically, her den.

     What would she even begin to do if the human was still sleeping on her nest? She was no doctor— she’s barely even a healer. Potions would probably work, who knows what effect it’ll have on a human instead of magical beings. What if instead of healing her, it made things a hundred times worse? 

     What if she never wakes up? And people found her on her den. What if they blame her for the human’s current state— oh the shame to her family that would bring!

     She can’t allow it— she musn’t allow it.

     “I swear it was here— aha!”

    Amity almost jumps at the sudden voice. She drops down on the ground and conceals herself from the intruder. A stranger in her territory was not rare, but a familiar sounding one was peculiar indeed.

     “Oh my, my inability to figure out left from right has not failed me…”

     Wait a minute… Amity knows that voice…

     “Lucky.”

     It’s the fucking human!

     She peeks up through the tall grass and watches with furrowed brows as the human shamelessly enters her den without permission. As if she owned the goddamn place! The audacity of this creature to trespass, Oh Titans give me patience.

     How the hell was she gonna make her leave now? Tell her politely? Hell no. Knowing the human, she’d probably end up asking questions rather than leave. Then, they would end up arguing, and fighting, and the human would still be in her goddamn den!

    “Hello? Mr. Wolf from last night are you there?” She calls out from the entrance, peering in cautiously. “Or Ms, Wolf. It’s 2020, I do not assume genders.”

     Amity release a sigh of relief. What was she worrying about? The human was perfectly fine and healthy if she had the energy to be wandering around the forest looking for a creature twice as big as her. And how was it that she still appear to be annoying even if there’s no one to annoy?

     My my, a curious case she is, isn’t she?

     “I just want to say thank for taking care of me last night— wait, can wolves even understand me? Should I just leave a steak on the ground maybe— or a gift! Like crows, ooh that’s a fantastic idea!”

    Amity rolls her eyes at the rambling. If Luz was looking for her wolf form, then only her wolf form would satisfy her enough to just leave when asked— or threaten? The latter sounds practical at this point.

     Hesitantly, and rather second guessing the effectiveness of this decision, Amity undresses and turns into her wolf form— not really keen on destroying another set of uniform. She really doesn’t like being in her wolf form during the day but with many other things, this human isn’t really giving her much of an option.

     She shakes off a few dirt from her brown fur, snarling in annoyance. To think she actually came back here to check on this human— what a complete waste of time and energy.

     She shows herself in all her glory from the sharpness of her claws to the muscles of her figure, standing tall and unmoving. If she were to show her greatness to the human, might as well do it properly.

     “Oh there you are! Jesus, you are bigger than I imagined!” Luz exclaims in glee, already on her way to violate Amity’s personal space— which she visibly growls in. What’s a Jesus?

     “Oops, sorry about that.” Once Luz has noticed her aggression, she stops, and apologizes. Something she has never seen the human do before… especially not to her.

     “I just wanted to thank you for taking care of me last night. I actually think you were going to eat me!”

     Amity looks on with an unimpressed stare at her, eyes that golden shade of yellow even more menacing under the shine of the afternoon sun. Suddenly, Luz feels a lump accumulate at her throat. As huggable as her wolf form may seem, Amity could still and would still hurt her if she wanted to.

     “Anyways that’s it. I better, go now. Glad to meet you uhm… Wolf…y? Though you look like a kitten though— I’ll just call you kitten then!” Luz flashes a warm smile.

     That smile… goodness, Amity could not believe her own eyes. She has seen that smile before, mostly directed at her friends, but for it to be directed at her— it made her feel… conflicted.

     It felt so, unhindered, genuine, free.

     Can she… can she learn to smile like that, one day? Smiling because she wants to, and not because she has to. Smiling because… because…

     “You seem to have a busy day ahead of you, doing whatever wolves do. Don’t mind me I’ll just head out—“

     Amity does not realize it, or maybe she did, but she blocks the human’s path with her paw. Not aggressive enough to intimidate her, but asserting enough that Luz actually stops with a confused hum.

     She does not know why, she does not know how, but a single smile— gentle, and true, rivaled that of the sun’s warmth and light. The way the edges of the human’s lips spread to accommodate the gesture… how was it so… enchanting?

     “Hmm? Yes?”

     If Amity could speak, she would say, “show me again” but alas the universe wasn’t so generous with her. She pushes Luz back, then again, and again, until she was by the entrance of the den, still wearing that confused look on her face…

     She presumed the girl smart enough to know of her intentions. She wasn’t sure if it was the best decision but, she’s sure as hell eager to find out.

     What will you do now, I wonder?

     “You want me to stay? Awww.” Luz coos. She took a step closer to Amity, to hell with personal space right? Amity assumed she was about to do one of her … “affection” things. Though not entirely opposed to it, she wasn’t a hundred percent comfortable with the thought either. So when Luz got too close, Amity growls.

     “Oops. Okay. Boundaries, got it.” She says, immediately backing away.

     “Your fur looks like an odd color— it’s not bad! Just an observation, is all.” As soon as the word ‘observation’ left her mouth, Luz proceeded to stare more at the familiar shade of brown fur, trying to rack through her mind library for any signs of seeing it before. When she couldn’t think of anything, she just plops down to the ground and crosses her legs.

     “So… you’re just gonna stare at me all afternoon?” She asks, as if Amity has the ability to answer, “because I’m not very good at staring contests.”

     Well then what are you good at?

     “We could… go around the forest! I mean, I’d probably get lost again but if you were there I’m sure you’d guide me, right?”

     Oh is that why she was in the forest at that ungodly time of night yesterday? Honestly, why am I surprised? She’s already incompetent in many other things why not throw that one into the list as well?

      Amity doesn’t hesitate to shake her head.

      She wants the girl to stay. In the den. With her. But when she gets too close, Amity growls. Can she be more confusing? Her wants and her needs were bashing heads so bad that she wouldn’t be surprised to find out the human could not comprehend her intentions well.

     They stood there in silence, Amity looking straight at the human— analyzing her, but it’d probably look more like scrutinization. Luz, however, sat there quietly, looking at anything but the wolf. Amity could feel her curiosity, but watches calmly as the human doesn’t act on it.

      Somehow in deep thought, Luz’ eyes wonder. First Amity’s ever seen it. A quiet Luz, and a thinking Luz. A rare gem unearthed by none other than the wolf that recently almost killed her.

     “You know, Kittens…”

     By the Titans, is that how she’s calling me now?

     “I wonder sometimes what life would be like for animals like you—“

     Amity scoffs, excuse me!?

     “Who run around unbound by responsibilities and worries all day. I mean, sure you may have your own share of worries, you’re alive after all. Living comes with worrying, because living means you have something to expect.”

      Amity was silent. She does not bother to ask why the human suddenly went on a ramble about… life (because she’s physically unable to) but nevertheless, she listens. To the worries of a mere human— she couldn’t help but become curious. Of their difference as a species. That was all. She was curious. Nothing else.

     “… but then, whenever I envy the freedom mother nature has, I remember how flowers wilt, how the sun sets, how the water recedes back to the ocean, how death comes for all. And I realize, freedom is just an imaginary concept. Created so we could live with our own inability to break free from life itself.”

      ...what?

      Luz stares up into the ceiling of the cave, mind wandering lightyears away from where they are now… Amity almost admires the look, and the words that slipped through her mouth— the understanding she had come to bear after her 18 years of living in this world. She admires, and she envies. 

     But wisdom does not come without a price. What did she sacrifice to gain it?

     “There’s no such thing as real freedom. I mean if there was, all things would be possible. We are all bound by the laws of nature, and I think that’s the cost of living. Nothing and no one is free…” Luz finally looks down, the saddest Amity’s seen in the human’s beautifully chocolate brown eyes, and she smiles.

     The smile was not the same. It felt… heavy, burdened, and it sent a bolt of guilt straight through Amity’s chest.

     “… I mean.” Luz starts again, eyes locking with Amity’s, “even birds are bound to the sky.”

Chapter Text

     Amity sits with a sigh. Her essay was finally done, and she just passed it on the teacher’s desk. Satisfactory enough or not she could barely give a shit, as long as she’s done with it. Who could’ve thought that the last person on the list of people that would help her actually did help her. And indirectly too.

     She remembers the way her pen glided against the blank sheet of paper that night, words still fresh and heavy on her mind, begging for a release.

     Luz’ words had done wonders to her essay. What she could not write a single sentence about the other day, she found no trouble writing countless pages about now. With nothing but a few words, a sad smile, and chocolate brown eyes from a human.

     A thank you was in order.

     But if she were to tell the girl that she was the wolf that had almost killed her and then cared for her in the same breath. The same wolf that listened to her deepest and most personal worries, was the same person who insults her and berates her for her shortcomings.

     It would break her…

     To be honest with you, Amity could barely sleep a wink after seeing the human’s worry leaden eyes— she doesn’t think she could bear seeing it again.

     It has been days after that talk… weeks actually. Amity avoided her own den like the plague, afraid that  when she gets caught, not if, it’ll be over for her. The reputation she’s been building for years, and the respect she had sowed from her own parents, down on the drain for some human…

    Why is she such a pain in the ass?

    “Have you heard what happened in potions class yesterday?” Skara greets them with a gossip, how typical of her. They were in their usual table, with Amity’s usual group of ‘friends’.

     “Yes, Skara,” Boscha rolls her eyes, “I was there, remember?”

     “How about you Amity? Have you heard?”

     Amity could care less about whatever it is. Now that her essay was done, she has about 3 more paperworks to pass this week alone, and she’d rather worry about that rather than some poor soul and their poorly made potion.

     “Luz totally made a mess with that potion I mean, an explosion? It must’ve been fucking hilarious!”

     At the mention of the human’s name, Amity’s ears pricked up in attention.

     “Messing with her potion was the best idea Boscha, I heard she had to skip school to recover, how pathetic—“

     Amity could feel her blood boil, her fangs bared at the two as she hits the table with her fists. The audacity, the disgrace, the fucking apathy. It was beyond her control— she had just barely healed that injury on her head and now she has a new one!?

     “You what?” Amity did not bother hiding the malice in her voice, the more the better.

     “It was a harmless prank, she had it coming after—“

     “Did it ever bother you to think before you do something so utterly stupid?”

     “Woah, Ami, what’s gotten in to you?” Boscha asks, concerned, “don’t tell me you care for that useless human being, you… do you?”

     At that question, Amity stops. Does she? Care? For Luz? She cared for her injuries once, but that doesn’t mean she cares for her, does it?  What does it even mean to care for somebody? You want to protect them, right? To be with them, to shield them from their worries, to help them with their problems.

     Is she worthy… to care for someone?

     Is she worth the care?

     Amity sits back down. If confusion was evident on her face, she had done her best to hide it. Pathetic. Truly pathetic. To be ashamed to protect— to stand by and do nothing. What a complete disgrace of an alpha she was…

    “No. Of course not.” Amity says with utmost certainty, the lie struck her like an arrow to the head. “But if the teachers found out about it, they would put you in detention.”

     Pathetic. Her conscience screams at her.

     “You don’t have to worry about that, Luz and her lot doesn’t report to the teachers. They know what will happen to them if they did.”

     Pathetic.

     “Still… refrain from doing something so brash the next time.”

      How complete and utterly pathetic.

      Amity wants to skip class…

     This was a first among the many she has done for Luz the human. Skipping afternoon classes. If her siblings found out, oh how they would jump in joy. They would probably be proud of her rebellious phase—if you can even call it that— if their own shenanigans were nothing to stand by. Her parents though? Now that was a different topic altogether. She would be at the mercy of the heavens if they were to find out.

     Still… it doesn’t stop her feet from carrying her all the way towards the one place she and Luz shared a moment, whether the girl realizes it or not.

     It was stupid, admittedly. A poor decision made on a whim, an impulse she could no longer ignore. The den was not far from her estate, but it was by no means near Hexside. She doesn’t even know what she intends to do once she gets there! All she knows is that she has to be…

    As she steps closer and closer to her territory, the more the smell of her own scent increases. She made sure her scent stays strong around the place, to ward of any other who would dare enter. The process of imprinting is a bit tedious though—

     She stopped, her nose tickled at… something new.

    A new scent, mixed in with her own. Something different, something… familiar. Sweet, Vanilla, and Honeysuckles. The Honeysuckles was new. But the Sweet fragrance of Vanilla, there was no mistaking it.

     Did she frequent my den? Enough to get her own scent mixed with mine?

    She should be furious. An Alpha is extremely possessive if not territorial. Something as small as a different scent in her territory should’ve lit a fire of anger in her. She should be out here, hunting whoever it was, and bringing them down for even daring stepping in her property. She should be livid.

     … but she wasn’t.

     She wonders why— truly she does. Nothing comes ever so simple with the human, does it?

    As if on cue, Luz appears from the corner of her eyes, clad in a comfortable hoody a size bigger than her, and denim shorts.

     “Oh! There you are,” she greets excitedly.

     The Blight stood tall in her presence, still exemplifying Blight values even in her wolf form. However, she did not miss the white patch on the girl’s left eye— and… her confidence faltered a little at the sight.

     “I was starting to worry. I visited you a lot but you weren’t here so I thought you kinda left, but you didn’t! Great.” The human puffs her chest with pride. Pride of what, Amity wasn’t sure, but she admires her confidence still. Even after two serious injuries right after another, she never fails to bring a warm smile to her lips.

     Amity steps closer to analyze her face, or her wound, more specifically. How serious it was, if there were anything she could do to help, or how she could even begin to apologize for it. And the observant person that she is, Luz laughs heartily to lessen her worries.

    “It’s nothing,” she assures with a confident flick of her wrist, “Eda said the flash from the explosion did my eye a number and I would be temporarily blind for like a week, but I’m fine see?”

     Amity doubts that, but the human did have an infamous record of proving her wrong. She is glad though, to see her up and running, still in her spirits even after being temporarily blinded for shits and giggles. Remembering how her so called ‘friends’ talked about inflicting pain and suffering upon others as a form of entertainment made her skin crawl. Maybe she does need new friends.

     “So how have you been? Not that you’d answer of course,” Luz begins to walk, and Amity just mindlessly follows after.

     She doesn’t walk towards the den, however, it was quite the opposite really. Her long strides having no difficulty in keeping up with the human, she follows. Admittedly she should be against the idea— I mean, she’s already aware of Luz’ bad sense of direction, what if she leads them to a cliff or something?

     “I have some free time on my hands so, I wanted to explore a bit.”

     But you’re literally blind from one eye right now, Amity wanted to argue.

     “Sometimes, when I miss the human realm, I come by this forest to remind myself of what it’s like. It’s by no means the same but… I find it similar enough.”

     Amity lets her talk, and lets her take the lead. Leading them to where? She’ll just have to let the girl surprise her. Hearing her talk about her own realm, her customs, her culture, it’s intriguing in the least. Not that Amity was interested in the humans and their way of things, but one would agree with her when she says there’s a certain satisfying feeling in gaining knowledge about the unknown.

     They pass through a huge boulder adorned with ropes of red, and golden bells. Probably a landmark to… somewhere, and also highly likely made by the human as well.

     “The thing I miss most about my world is the rain,” Luz claims.

     Amity almost laughs. She misses boiling acidic fluid raining from the sky? What an idiot.

    “Our rain is different from your rain. Yours hurt, while ours is… well, harmless. To an extent. Water just drops down from the sky, water our plants, clean our roofs, and bring joy to people like me.”

     Rain that did not destroy but nourish? Now that truly is a wonder. However, what Amity would like to ask most, is why Luz decided to bring them to a small lake. It wasn’t as big as normal lakes would be, but it was bigger than a pond would classify itself as, and certainly deep enough to drown people who did not know how to tread its waters.

     What do you plan to do, Luz?

    “This place reminds me of the rain back home.”

     As if on cue, water from the center of the lake began to recede on itself, like they were being drained by something from deep below. Turning, spiraling, and twisting, the water continued its controlled movement until finally, like exhaling fresh air in the mornings, the lake shoots its water up into the sky.

     The action sends thousands of fresh water droplets to the heavens, and straight back down by the forces of gravity. Imitating a…harmless rain.

     Droplet after droplet, it lands on Amity’s face, not as a sting that she expected, but a cool and gentle kiss seemingly brought down to them by the heavens. A whisper of sadness, a touch of melancholy— and when she looks down at Luz’s face, eyes glassy, and smile wide but never as bright…

     A smile of longing…

     Their rain is beautiful…

     Amity heard Luz sigh as the last drops of water hit the soil. Now, wet and awkward, they stood there looking at… nothing, really, just the air the sits atop the lake, and the leaves that sway gently by the wind.

     All Amity could do was watch— not much was allowed when she was in her Wolf form— and she watches intently. At the way Luz’ brows furrows, her lips twitch, and her hands tucked in the pockets of her now wet hoody.

     What is this feeling? She wonders.

     Like she longs for something, but at the same time refrain to see and hold it… Is this how Luz feels? Is this what she thinks about every night before she goes to bed? The heavy burden, the heart wrenching worry…

     How long has she been like this?

     “You miss your home,” Amity wanted to say, begged for the Titans to let her say, but nothing came out. “You miss it and yet you do not want to come back.”

     “Anyways, I don’t  want to dampen your day with my sob stories. How’d you like that?” If you did not watch her intently as Amity did, you would miss the melancholic look the girl wore, but alas as soon as she turns around to face the wolf, it had been wiped completely clean. Like it wasn’t ever there.

     “I found it when I accidentally tripped and fell down the slope over there,” Luz points to a particularly dangerous looking steep slope across the lake.

     Of course you would, Amity rolls her eyes.

     “I haven’t shown it to anybody yet so count yourself lucky, Kittens, ‘cause you’re the first.”

     It was no extraordinary feat. It did not procure from it countless golden medals or trophies of great importance. Heck it was nothing but simple words and a simple smile, and yet she had felt great pride for it than she ever felt pride for anything else.

     Soon, they had to go back home. What with Luz walking around the breezy afternoon wet from head to toe, it’s like she was asking to be sick by staying in the forest longer. Amity was in no better condition either, she had skipped her afternoon classes to hang out with a human in her wolf form. Oh she could hear her siblings now.

     “See you around Kittens, I’ll try to visit as often as I could, bye!”

     Amity watches as Luz’ figure slowly retreats in the woods, slowly shrinking until just like that, she was out of sight once again. Though her presence no longer lingers, her scent definitely did. Pheromones under the guise of Vanilla and Honeysuckles. What Amity used to seek due to its innate sweetness, she now bask in its helplessness.

     No matter how many smiles Luz pulls, or how many cheers she make, pheromones do not lie.

     Why does she hide her sadness, her loneliness? Why does pretend? Why does she…

     Why did she stay?

     There were many things Amity should be worrying about this afternoon. One was the fact that she blatantly left school to hang out in the woods. Two was the scores for the recent essay she had passed, and Three… the third was…

     How can I ease her pain?

Chapter Text

“ Do not say little in many words, but a great deal in a few. “

-Pythagoras

     Months went by with their routine stapled like that. Sometimes between the setting of the sun and the rising of the moon, Luz would visit the den bringing gifts of… random and questionable values. Amity would just bring herself, adorned in glorious brown fur and striking golden eyes. They would sit down, or walk, talking about nothing and dreaming of everything.

     She had learned about the human’s world in the less than a year of time they had spent together than every book about their realm hidden in their libraries. She had learned more about the human in these few months than she had learned about anybody she considered a friend.

     She learned about how their world was surrounded by big masses of water. Nothing but ocean as far as the eye can see. Big gestures of nature, tall, unwavering, proud, and stunning. If it were not water, there were mountains. If not mountains, deserts. Nothing but sand and sand dunes. If it were not deserts, there were rainforests. A thick blanket of green, sheltering the countless life that settles beneath the gentle giants’ branches.

    It was all fascinating— more than she had expected. And it was all worth it, seeing Luz’ eyes light up upon describing the wonders of her world.

     She would try and bring Amity to places around the Boiling Isle where there was resemblance of her own. Small hills of green— although not grass, but moss and mucus, she smiles for. Anything that might share faces with her own realm, she drags Amity to.

     There was this one time, Luz took her to the beach. She described the differences between the two worlds from the smallest details, to the big ones. She mentions how most beaches in her world was white, and hot, and people would ride the waves that come crashing onto the shore.

     If Amity could speak in wolf form, she would probably deny the credibility of her claims. Saying it’s stupid for humans to endanger their lives for shits and giggles— that humans are utterly stupid in general.

     They still are, but slowly, as she gets to know more about Luz and her worries, her favorite food, her pet peeves, her favorite… anime series? The more she knows, the more she becomes conflicted…

     These feeling she has for the girl… it’s, perplexing. There were days where the girl would not visit the den and Amity would grow worried. There were days were Luz would walk through the hallways, her signature smile on her face, and Amity could not help but smile to herself. There were days where she sits by her open window, staring up into the sky, wondering what Luz might be doing…

     On all those days, she could think of nothing but the girl and the girl alone…

     Has she finally lost it?

     “Something has been off about you these last few months,” Edric comments out of the blue. He lies on Amity’s bed, reading a novel she doesn’t recognize, only because Emira was out and he had nobody else to bother but his dear little sister.

     Amity, barely giving him a thought or time of the day, hums flatly. “Really? Do tell.”

     “Well, first of all,” Edric closes of his book and sits straight up the bed, “You’ve been going home late, even mom and dad are starting to get suspicious.”

     She has an excuse for that. Extra studying at the public library. Of course that was a big fat lie— but as long as she keeps her grades up to satisfaction, her Mom and Dad wouldn’t have anything to be suspicious about.

     “Second, you’ve been very quiet and you just stare off into space— which is creepy by the way, please stop.”

     That would be because of the countless thoughts the human has had the generosity to bring down on her. Of course, it wasn’t her fault Amity decided to think more about it in her free time, but still. She already had enough on her plate now she’s got to think about… ‘me-mes’ and their apparent influence on an entire society and generation.

     “And third, which is the weirdest of them all. Your scent is starting to fluctuate.”

     Amity stops writing…

     “What…?”

     That little statement definitely caught her attention now.

     “You come home smelling like— I don’t know, different! All I know is that it’s not Boscha or Skara, I know how they smell like. This scent is different.”

     Now she does NOT have and excuse for that.

     “Now that I think about it, you kinda smell like Lu—“

     Amity leaps from the bed in panic and covers her brother’s entire face with a pillow, muffling his words but not effectively shutting him up. Damn and I thought I was being discrete with that pheromone masking spray!

     It was futile in the end though, as Edric was clearly bigger and stronger and set himself free from his own sister’s desperate grasp. He gasps, mockingly than out of shock, as Amity’s actions further solidifies his theory.

     “So you have been hanging out with Luz the human!”

     “Ed shut up!!”

     Well now she’s fucked. How in heavens name is she going to get out of this one— she cannot think under pressure! Anyone could see the gears ticking in her head, but it’s just not working. She does not want to be banned from seeing Luz— I can’t.

     “Woah, Am, chill!” Her brother’s chuckles breaks her stupefied state. He had a hunch that it was Luz, but he didn’t expect this reaction from his own perfectionist sister when she found it he knows. “I’m not going to tell anybody— except for maybe Em, but I doubt she doesn’t know.”

     “You and Em knew about it!?”

     “It wasn’t that hard to figure out bruh, you’re just lucky you’re not around our parents so much they wouldn’t notice the difference.”

     Indeed she was lucky. If it had been her parents— she just shudders at the possibilities.

     “How can that be? Whenever you’re at school, Luz doesn’t talk to you…”

     Might as well come clean huh? Who knows they may actually be able to help hide her— being illusionist and a Blight after all.

     “I do not hang out with her in school,” Amity sighs, “or in my normal form—“

     “You hung out with her in your wolf form!?”

     “A little louder why don’t you, I think the guy across the street didn’t hear you!” Amity throws a pillow at his face, to which he catches no question.

     “Does she know that it’s you?”

     Amity sighs once again, “I don’t think so.”

     “Luz is not that dense, she’ll figure it out sooner or later that you’re just no ordinary wolf. And if she did— oh my titans Amity what have you gotten yourself into?”

     “I have plans to tell her okay?” She argues, “just… not right now. She really doesn’t like me in my human form.”

     “That’s ‘cause you’re mean to her!”

     “I stopped! I stopped hanging out with Boscha and Skara months ago too. Sure it sucks eating alone in the cafeteria but at least she knows I’m not part of the whole bullying thing anymore!”

     Silence dawns on the two siblings as their mind wanders in different things at different times. Amity’s were gauging her plans— changing a few details here and there in case Ed and Em finds out about their den. Edric was plotting out a totally different kind of plan.

     “Do you like her?”

     “Do I like— are you fucking kidding me!?”

     “It was an honest to God question why are you so mad!?”

     “Of course I don’t like her in that— that way. She doesn’t even like me!”

     Well that was the root of the problem, wasn’t it? Amity has always known, but she was never brave enough to voice it out. To admit it to herself. She had felt fear before, and she had faced them all. Just not this— not like this— not her.

     “You’re afraid… aren’t you?”

    Amity scoffs, a futile act of fake confidence, “psh, of course not.”

     “You are! You’re afraid if she knew it was you all along, she’d stop hanging out with you—“

     “No! I’m not! She could hang out with someone else for all I care!”

     But she does care. Of what Luz thinks, of what Luz’ opinion on hers was. Of what she would and would not do if she were to find out. Amity cares— despite all things, she cares, and that’s the part that scared her so.

     “ Look, I’m really not comfortable talking about this right now, could you give me some space?”

     Edric just stares in concern for her sister. Already an adult  and yet so inexperienced in the trials of real life. “If you want to talk, I’m right next door, okay?”

     I want to be the best for her… but she— It’s not about me…

     Next morning was another jarring Monday, busy with work, busy with decorations for the upcoming holiday. All those smiley faces and hearts taped to the ceiling, hanging down to mock her— damn if only she was allowed to use magic out of classes, they’d all be burnt to dust.

     Morning classes were her least favorite. She’d even go far as to say she hates it. No amount of coffee would prepare her enough for the upcoming bullshit she would hear from students and teachers alike in the mornings. But perhaps, today would be the day that something breaks the record for the most annoying Monday morning of 2020.

     And by the Titans did the universe not disappoint.

     “Look man, I don’t know what your deal is but it’d be better if you just leave!” Another ruckus in an another spot in the busy hallway, nothing too unusual. Happens a lot, and Amity just wishes they do it someplace else.

     She pays it no mind and simply meanders with the flow of the other students that were not paying it any attention… until she realizes who they were.

     “Yes, but maybe you could reconsider? I mean, I’ll treat you to anything you like!” A guy says confidently through his chest, while his friends snicker not too far behind him.

     … is that Luz?

     “Yes, you said that already. But do you really wanna be that guy? No one wants to hang out with the human these days,” Luz chuckles, albeit uncomfortably.

     …who the fuck is that dipshit??

     “Dude. Class is about to start, give up already,” Gus adds, now trying his best to get in between Luz and the random student to push him off.

     Amity was livid. Actually, she was beyond livid. If it had been any worse she would have shifted to her wolf form and mauled that elf right then and there— expulsion and reputation be damned.

     Control yourself, Amity

     She calmly goes against the flow of the students and tried to get closer to the group. Once through, she spent no time wasted loitering and immediately stepped in between the two.

     She hit the locker with her fist, maybe a little too hard as it had shocked the boy and Luz as well. The pain was ignored, as well as the possible dent but she focused on one thing and one thing only. Asserting dominance.

    “Are you perhaps so stupid that a simple ‘no’ flew by your head?” Malice laced her voice and on her words. Fangs bared, and pupils constricted to thin fine line. If she were having any success hiding her anger through her expressions (which she wasn’t), her pheromones definitely failed her.

     A blast of dizzying and almost unconsciousness-inducing musk wafts through the air— forcing anybody that was in nose’s range to submit to her. But she did not give a shit about anybody— she gave a shit about this stubborn man in front of her. Taller he may be in height, but he could not compete with the raw strength of a Blight.

     Her pheromones alone screamed, “she’s mine.”  in bloody murder— if the man’s quivering and lowered head was any indication.

     “I’m sorry I— I did not— I did not know—“

     “Do not flatter yourself by thinking you can get anybody you want by winking and smiling at them. You’re not a catch” Amity’s voice cut through his resolve like hot knife on butter, making him flinch on a single movement.

     Anybody who stayed to watch and anybody to cared to see would undeniably place Amity as not only the top student in Hexside, but the most powerful Alpha as well. No one could make other alphas quiver and whimper as much as she does… especially to this poor man.

     “If I ever see you near or as much as breathe in her direction, I will bite your neck clean from your body, understood?”

     The man nods and runs away with his tail between his legs. His friends were in no better condition either, they flinched and looked away, ashamed and afraid the moment Amity’s eyes landed on them. The fucking fools.

     As the event dies down, students began to go back to whatever it was that they were doing before. Amity was too, after all, the abomination classroom was only a few steps away… until, of course, Luz chimes in.

     “Amity! Jesus Christ, good save there!”

     “Him and his friends are pulling a prank on Luz and they believe we’re stupid enough to fall for it.” Willow chimes in, glaring daggers at the back of the man as he pitifully retreats into the crowd.

     That’s a bit fucked up, even by my standards. Amity admits, but she refrains from commenting on it.

     “Class is about to start, you all should head to your respective classrooms now,” Amity speaks calmly, but still with certain authority. She, however, could not help the softening of her voice when her gaze points back to the target of her desires and affections, admittedly or not. “You too, Luz.”

     “No worries we can go together! My first class is abomination anyway”

     Fuck

Chapter Text

“ Only the guy who isn’t rowing has time to rock the boat. “

-Jean-Paul Sartre

    They say, education was the only weapon that did not destroy, but instead create. It was the only weapon that each and every human being has in their rights to possess, but only the wealthy can actually access. To be given high quality education is an honor— to be among the chosen few to study at an old and highly regarded university? A rarity.

     Leave it up to a Blight to waste such rarity on a simple—though Amity would die to admit it—crush.

    She was as observant as she was the first few interactions she had with Luz, looking for the same body language of certain discomforts or tiny pleasures. However, now that she is analyzing her face to face, in her normal form, without the luxury of having to hide her expressions, something about her actions irk her.

     Luz was more hesitant with Amity in her normal form compared to her wolf, and understandably so. She did not speak so freely, nor move energetically. She tried to contain her movements within the space of her person— and that meant, she had to stay still. Trust Amity when she says, the human is having quite a difficult time.

     Perhaps she fears getting scolded by the Blight. A feat Amity has done many times before, and not just with her but with other countless souls. Or maybe, she is not comfortable with being so close to someone who was once an enemy. Amity wouldn’t be either, if that was any consolation.

     “Why are you so jittery?” Amity speaks, though the words came out sharper than she meant and she had to internally face palm herself.

     “I’m sorry,” Luz apologizes quickly, making a visible effort to keep herself still— and failing.

     “You can move if you want to, you know?”

     “Yeah sure, of course. Sorry ‘bout that…”

     “Stop apologizing,” Amity sighs, brows furrowed. This was why she was hesitating to tell Luz about their predicament. She was scared of this happening. For the bond they had made to just magically disintegrate into hushed apologies and awkward glances.

     “Yep, noted. Sorry— oops, fuck.” Luz clamped her own mouth shut. Lest her own body betray her again.

     The lesson continued on with Luz’ feet bouncing off the ground repeatedly and with immense speed. It would’ve been distracting, if Amity wasn’t already distracted by something else.

     She could’ve chosen a seat that was not beside her, or a table that wasn’t in her row. But Luz insisted, and Amity—between her blushing mess and jumbled words— was in no position to decline.

     Cut through their current situation, and it was… for the lack of better term… awkward.

     Amity wasn’t blessed with the ability for small talk, and even if she was? She’d rather talk to Luz about something rather than the weather. Something like, how was her morning today? Have she eaten her breakfast yet? Does she like girls? All that jazz. Luz was no better— she had no talking skills at all, In the current situation. Under pressure that is.

     Until of course, fate decided they were sick of their bullshit and took matters into their own hands.

     “This project requires to group yourselves into two. Deadline’s next week Monday— ample time for satisfactory results, no?” Bump grins from across the classroom.

     That was her cue, to finally spark a conversation and if she play her cards right, she’ll maybe probably ask Luz to be her partner.

     “So who do you think you’ll ask to be your partner?”

     “Wanna be my partner?”

     They both turned their heads at each other at the same time, then proceeded to talk at the same time, their words climbing over each other. First attempt was a failure, so Amity opted to try again.

     “You want to be my partner?”

     “What?”

     Shit. We’re never going to do this right are we? They spoke ay the same time, again. This time though the results weren’t so awkward. Luz let out a hearty chuckle— one that Amity almost swooned over, before letting out a small smile herself.

     “Sorry, you go first,” Luz says after her laugh.

    “Thought I told you to stop apologizing.” Amity follows up with a playful grin. Did wonders, actually, as the little gesture brought about another fit of laughter. From the human herself, no less.

     “Didn’t peg you for the teasing type, Anyways, I wanted to ask if you wanted to be my partner for the project?” Luz flashes a smile, but Amity watches as it all breaks down as quickly as it had come up… and anxiety starts to surface….

     “Or not, if you don’t want to. I mean, It’s not like you have to, I bet it’d be bad for your reputation to work with a human like me—“

     Amity winces at Luz’ own words.

    “Luz,” she calls out, stopping the girl from her rambling, “calm down. I was going to say yes.”

     “You… are?”

     “Sure, why not?” Amity fishes out a notebook from her stack of books, “Although we should agree on a schedule as early as now. When are you free?”

     Luz stares. And she wasn’t being very discrete about it.

     “Hello?” Amity calls out, but futile as it was as it falls on deaf ears, a moment not too long after, Luz snapped herself out of her own stupor. Great, Amity thought, any longer and she would’ve done it herself.

    “Hi, Sorry, can you repeat that?”

    Amity rolls her eyes— she seems to be doing that a lot around Luz, but she doesn’t mind it too much— and obliges, “I asked when are you free? For our project?”

    At that, the human beams, “Well any day, really, especially the weekends. But during the weekdays afternoon I have a few… places to go to—“

    You mean our den?

    “But I can reschedule. This is a pretty big project after all.”

     Amity writes all the information down on her notebook, all that was important anyways. From what she heard and what was implied to her, Luz is basically free on the afternoons after class and the weekdays. Only if she was notified of course, although that already goes without saying.

    Should she push it? Amity thinks. How long will it be till her luck finally runs out? Would it be way too fast for them to ask her to work on the project after class today? It wouldn’t be strange… it is for educational purposes.

     Amity decides to test the waters first…

     “Are you free later after class?”

     “Oh no, kinda promised someone I’d visit them later… tomorrow? Maybe?”

     Me. She promised me. Though of course she wouldn’t know that…

     Something deep inside of Amity wish Luz did, however. To see her, hear her, and feel her affections as her own self and not just her wolf form. To greet Luz without the fear of judgement— to be greeted by Luz with that same smile and same energy as she greets her wolf form. To be loved, to be cared for, and to be there with her…

     If only…

     “Sure.”

     Dismissal bell rings and students began to flow out their respective classrooms in masses— including a certain human. Amity gathers her belongings and walks out, the two going their separate direction… not without a stolen glance from Amity though.

     She could not stop herself from cringing at the… smoothness of that interaction. And if you did not catch on, she was being very sarcastic.

    Granted she already knew flirting was never her forte. When you’re as powerful an alpha as she is, and had a rich and influential pull to your name, flirting is usually never required. Dating was also out of the order. People in her status skip the dating part and head straight towards engagement and marriage. None of which, are in the individual’s control.

    This may be a wild goose chase. Her efforts wasted, only for her to marry some omega from some estranged family of the same status— leading a love less and dull life. As her parents did, and their parents did before them.

     As the only alpha in the family— what with Edric being a Beta and Emira an Omega, the family line should and will continue with hers…

    Amity sighs, “If only it didn’t…”

    “If only what didn’t?”

    Augh, great. Amity rolled her eyes and groaned. Another thing her mornings could go without.

    “What is it, Boscha?” She doesn’t bother masking her ill intent this time.

    “What’s gotten you so down so early in the Morning, Blight and,” Boscha sniffs, and then winces, as if the smell was so offending it had hurt her, “Who’s scent is that?”

     “Mind your own business—“

     “Is it just me or is that Luz’ scent that I smell?” Skara joins in on the conversation, as if one headache wasn’t enough. It doesn’t help that the entirety of Hexside seems to recognize Luz by scent— Exactly how many people does she associate with and why does everyone know her scent!?

     She ignores the implications of that fact, though it irks her. I’ll have to ask her sometime…

     “So what if it is?”

     Boscha cackles, that annoying stick-up-your-ass kinda laugh that not too long ago, Amity had as well. “Have you dropped down so low only the human will hang out with you now?”

     “The human has a name— oh no,” Amity coos mockingly, like talking to a 5 year old who los their precious candy, “Are you starting to forget? My my oh how you’ve let yourself go. Have you finally gone insane, Titans, finally.”

     “Bitch.” Boscha sneers

     “Cunt,” Amity bites back.

     “If I had known you had the hots for that human…” Boscha checks her nails, again the stick-up-your-ass kinda way, “I would’ve went and swept her off her feet long ago.”

     At that, Amity’s fangs bared. Her pheromones spiked, “you fucking stay away from her,” She sneers through bared teeth, closing the gap between the two and holding Boscha up by the collar.

     The other alpha was by no means a weak one. She could handle her own, and she could definitely hold up against Amity in a fight— she knows this. If they were talking strength, she was the only other alpha in this school powerful enough to have the ability to turn into a wolf by will.

     “The girl’s an omega, isn’t she?” A snicker follows, “she’ll make a fine toy for—“

     Boscha was cut short… by a fist to her face. She was sent backwards— doubled back, even. Her hands instinctively came to touch at her nose which was now undoubtedly bleeding. Damn. She almost forgot how being punched properly felt like.

     “I said leave her alone.”

     “By the titans, you are whipped.” It took her no time at all to get back at her feet, propping her hands up for a proper fight.

     “Kittens!”

     God it took Luz longer to get to the den than she anticipated. She was out of it today. Ever since that interaction she had with Amity this morning, her brain just decided to say ‘fuck it, you’re on your own’ and decided to malfunction the entire day.

     Good thing she doesn’t need a fully performing brain to bond with her favorite wolf-cat today.

     “Kittens?” She called out once again. Usually, on good afternoons, she doesn’t need to call out for Kittens to greet her. She would simply just get close enough for the wolf to catch her scent and boom, she would be greeted by a hug. Or more likely a pounce.

     “Yo! Kittens! You there—“

     A soft whimper behind her, followed by a gentle nudge to her back, and Luz’ smile went wide. The familiar scent wafted through her nose, soft brown fur that tickled her nose as well as the protective paw that pulled her flush against the wolf’s body.

     She couldn’t help a warm chuckle escape her lips, “Miss me already?”

     The wolf just purrs— do wolves even purr? I thought only cats do that? That’s when she felt it. At first, she thought it was nothing, just a cool patch of fur among the many cool patches of fur Kittens have— but then she realizes, it’s wet.

    “Kittens?” Worry and concern painted her voice. She pulled away, not too much, just enough to take a good look at the wolf’s face.

    “Oh my fucking God, you’re hurt!”

    Woops, Amity forgot about that.

     They didn’t get out of the fight this morning unscathed. Both alphas had their pride before them than their common sense, more Amity than Boscha as the alpha really wanted to bash her face in for disrespecting Luz.

    A small gash there, and a few scratches here— nothing too serious. Nothing the nurse didn’t take care of, but she guesses the patches got removed when she turned to her wolf form again— and oh look at that, it started bleeding again. Wow.

     “What in heaven’s name did you do all  day?” Amity wanted to laugh at Luz’ attempt at scolding. She knows she was being serious, but a cockroach would come off more intimidating than this current expression she’s pulling.

    Cute…

     Luz didn’t waste her breath standing and worrying, she motioned for her friend to follow her inside the den, quickly.

     Healing wasn’t her best— or you know, magic, in general, but studying it for a few months should give her something at least. A potion, a simple rune that she could write on a piece of paper and stick on the wound. Heck, even a normal bandage would work.

    “It doesn’t look serious, so I’ll do what I can for now. You’re a big girl so you can probably handle it,” Luz says as she takes off her sweater and one single motion. Deftly, and as if she had done it multiple times (perhaps she has?), she wrapped it securely around the injured paw.

     It’s but a simple scratch, and yet she cares for me so deeply…

     Amity smiles— if wolves could, her smile would reach from ear to ear. The gentle touches her human places on her fur, and the soothing hums and coos she lets out to calm her. It was all too overwhelming. To be cared for like this, to be loved like this… to greed for something like this.

     Temptation could be even the strongest king’s formidable enemy. It was Amity’s, right about now. She would want nothing in this world right now— no amount of treasure, nor power will satisfy her. Only Luz. Her warmth. Her voice. Her soft touches, her creative mind, her short (sometimes stupid) but powerful words. Just Luz.

     My omega…so kind and gentle to me…

    “There, all done! You should be good tomorrow.” The proud smile that beamed through the human sent waves of heat to bloom and settle in Amity’s chest. The innocence of it all.

     “Why don’t you settle down and rest? Give your wound time to heal, hmm?”

     How warm… Amity nestled her head on top of Luz’s lap, taking her up on her offer. So soft…

     It didn’t take long until the lullaby of Luz’ own rhythmic breathing, the rise and fall of her chest and the thumping of her heart— It wasn’t long at all, until Amity had fallen asleep.

    Though unconscious and already in the arms of her own dreams, Luz did not cease the way her fingers glided along the wolf’s head. Feeling the silky, brown fur in between her fingers… a sigh escaped her lips.

     “… Amity.”

     Guilt wracks her— a thousand needles that nested in the pores of her skin. Perhaps it was greed, or maybe even loneliness. Selfishness could also be a likely culprit. But aren’t they all just excuses?

     God help me.

     “Amity, I don’t know how long we can keep playing this game…”

Chapter Text

“ Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results .”

Albert Einstein

     No matter what you throw to the world— be it your unconditional love, your undying anger, or your firstborn child— it will continue to run its course and spin. The World is an asshole, you see. It doesn’t give a shit about you, or your tiny little problems. It has more fish to fry… like staying in orbit or whatever.

     You beg, and you sacrifice, and you plead, and what is meant to happen will happen. Nothing you do will change the plans the world has set out to do. You are too powerless. Weak. Insignificant. And miniscule.

     However, isn’t it the little things in life that brings it value? The smell of honeydew in the mornings. The single sip of hot coffee you brew at the start of a new day. The simple ‘thump’ you make as you fall onto your bed, and soon deep in slumber. It’s those insignificant things that you watch out for. Because they will break you.

     And it will hurt like a bitch.

     “Are you sure this is the right ingredient?” Luz looks down at a glowing bottle of potion she snatched from one of Eda’s shelves. More like scrutinizes it, really. The list said, Glowing Tears. And this bottle was shaped like and tear and is glowing.

     “it isn’t?”

     “Highly likely… but it doesn’t hurt to check, can I see?” Amity reaches out her open palm for the potion, and Luz gives it, albeit hesitantly. She tries to hide the way her hand quivered as she held it out— too nervous for her own sake at the wake of her own romantic interest.

     Abomination was another form of magic that does not happen in nature, which makes it harder to imitate. For Luz, anyways. Another one of those things she wishes she was better at. Like, say, directions.

     Amity receives the potion and continues to analyze it. Like she had initially suspected, the potion was definitely not what they needed. She didn’t want to sound bossy and rude by pointing it out though— that cringe-y conversation from yesterday was enough.

     She puts the wrong potion in her bag. She will not be rude, but she will not be so disrespectful that she would lie about Luz’ mistake. It’s just that. Being polite wasn’t one of her virtues. Actually, to be honest, nothing that involves being kind to others is her virtue. Pitiful, I know, shut up, I’m working on it.

     “Not quite it, but I’m sure it’ll be useful somehow,” Amity confirms with a smile.

     “Oh! Cool!— I mean, Psh, of course I knew that.”

     The two decided to make their abomination project in neither of their homes. Luz’ argument was that the owl house would be too messy, and Amity’s was that her siblings would be too much of a bother. So that leaves them… the library.

    Granted, not really the best place to brew up a blob-ish purple figure that has the capacity to implode, but Amity insisted they would be safe. Which brings us to this current situation.

     “This… Amity you have a secret room in the library?”

     “Uhm… yes? Why?”

     “Dude! I knew you were rich and shit, but to have a portion of the library to yourself? That’s awesome!”

     Titans strike me dead right now. Amity blushes. Goodness. A Blight blushing from a simple compliment— from the word ‘awesome’. It wasn’t bad… but if Luz saw she might, suspect something. Something Amity would rather die than admit.

     “Thank you, but we really shouldn’t waste time loitering here…”

     Luz nods and smiles, “of course, Ladies first.”

     They enter the adequately sized room. As Luz would have expected from a library, the room was filled to the brim with bookshelves, papers, and tiny bottles of squid ink. The books were hardcover, and they also did not look cheap. Oh all the material things money can buy.

     “Let’s begin, shall we?”

     First matter of business: The Ingredients. More importantly, the correct ones. No room for mistakes, not even a tiny bit. Lest they want what little room they have for their project to suddenly be covered in purple goo. Next was the pot, provided by yours truly, Amity Blight. Then a shred of luck, provided by… no one, really. Amity was hoping Luz had plenty of it.

     “First step is…” Amity places the pot in the center and her mixing rod, while Luz reads the instructions from her notes, “mix the dry ingredients. That would be the shredded demon feathers, chopped dragon…talons? And ooh, this one’s actually pretty normal… salt!”

    Unknown to her, Amity has been following along the instructions as Luz reads it. Adding up on the amount that the human forgot to mention. However, just when she was about to mix it, her eyes fails her and shifts her attention.

    Luz stands across from the pot, the paper of instruction on her hands, looking on at her. Of course, Amity almost slaps herself. She just can’t do the entire project on her own, it’s done in pairs! She probably thinks I don’t trust her enough with this project— augh! Stupid!

     “Would you…uhm, like to mix?”

     Luz’ eye let out a flashing glint— one Amity would not mind getting blinded by. “Oh would I? Of course! But just…guide me through it, please?” How could Amity ever deny that look?

     “Sure. You have one functioning eye right now, Titans know what you might end up mixing.”

     Luz chuckles nervously. Shit why am I nervous? It’s just mixing weird stuff in a pot, with a wooden stick! I should be excited as fuck! You don’t get to mix shredded demon feathers and some poor dragons talons everyday.

     “The trick is to mix consistently, at the right pace with the right pressure,” Amity instructs, handing Luz the wooden stirring rod.

     “Wow, and here I thought the mixing was gonna be the simplest part.”

     “Hardly, but I can teach you, if you want?”

     Luz smiles. And so, a lesson ensues.

     Amity teaches Luz the proper way to angle the mixing rod, which direction to mix, and exactly how fast she would mix it. She doesn’t forget to mention that mixing dry ingredients from wet are two entirely different things, and mixing two together is another lesson on its own.

     Abomination basics. Fuck it up, and you’ll end up with a defective abomination— sometimes even dangerous ones.

     “Am I doing it right…?” Luz asks, self-doubt seeping through her tone. Amity hates it when her— the omega doubts herself. She is capable of many things, and most she shames herself for.

     “Almost, you just have to stir a little slower.”

     Luz adjusts her pacing, focusing entirely on the pot, and looks back at Amity once she had adjusted, “Like this?”

     “Precisely. For an amateur, you catch on quick.”

     “Oh stop, flattery will get you nowhere, Blight.” Luz is not going to kid herself on this one, that compliment did make her blush.

     “Oh please, as if.”

     It’s these little moments with Luz that Amity truly treasures. Playful banters, flirting in the guise of teases. In her wolf form, she could never do anything more than just growl if she was annoyed, purr when she is satisfied, or stare when she is not having it. In her normal form, all her dreams and wants are just one breath away— and yet still so far.

    “Ok so after the dry ingredients are the wet— the potion I bought is probably—“

    “No worries, got it covered,” Amity fishes out a bottle of Glowing Tear, not in the shape of a tear and definitely not glowing. A traitor to its name, Luz thinks.

    “You just have to continue stirring at that speed while I pour, yes?”

    “No prob Bob!”

    Amity raises a brow, “My name’s Amity.”

    “It’s a human thing— oh never mind, pour it in baby!”

    Amity ignores (and blushes) at the little pet name, but proceeds. Slowly but surely, she pours in the potion, paying attention to little chemical reactions— typically a sign of whether or not they were doing it correctly.

     “Okay stop. We let it sit for a few minutes.”

     Luz obliges. She pulls the stick from the pot and settles it comfortably beside. Now that they were given an ample amount of free time… what the hell do they do with it?

     Oh I know! Luz’ mind blinks a brilliant idea, I can ask her to play a game with me!

     To Luz’ defense, Amity would probably win the game. She knows the human well now that they have spent a few months getting to know each other— even if it was one sided. Luz was at an obvious disadvantage, but you know what they say, most thrills are found in the most unconventional things… often dangerous, actually. Wait, what am I thinking about again?— Oh! The game!

    “So, Amity,” Luz calls from the other side of the room, “Care to play a little human game with me? You know, to pass time.”

     “Sure. Why not. What game?”

     “It’s called Two Lies and A Truth. I will tell you three things about myself, one will be true, while the rest will be false. Hence the name!”

     “Yes, okay. Simple enough. What if the person gets it wrong?”

     Ooh. Luz haven’t thought about that.

     “Uhmm… they get to ask a question that the other answers????”

     Amity seemed satisfied with the rules and nods, “alright. I’ll start.”

     “I appreciate you bravery, Amity, but as the human playing the human game, let me do the honors.”

     Sure, why not? They only have a few minutes to spare anyways. Amity will make it quick.

     “I like Ice Cream. I like Coffee, and I like cake.”

     Easy, Amity thought. She was making it sound like all of them might be truths, which at first glance might actually be true, but in fact she had an entire rant about how she hated coffee and cake for an entire afternoon. Well, hate is a strong word, but the human avoided it if she could.

     “Easy. You like Ice Cream.”

     Luz puffed proudly. I made the first one easy on purpose.

     “My turn. I lost all my baby teeth when I was 9, I am an alpha with a rare gift, and I am excellent at math.”

     Oh the amount of self restraint Luz had to pull not to roll her eyes. Despite what others may believe, she is not as dense as she looks. She can see with full clarity, even with one eye, what Amity was planning to do. Really, she admires the audacity.

     “Easy,” Luz throws Amity’s own words back at her, “you’re excellent at math.”

     “Wrong.”

     I know. Just playing dumb, is all.

     “I lost all my baby teeth at 10, not 9. And I actually suck at math, believe it or not,” Amity sighs… chuckles? Luz was not sure. All she knows is that she wants to hear it again.

     “So, your rare gift?”

     Amity clicks her tongue, “Losers don’t get to ask questions. Or was that not your rule?”

     “Alright, fair point. Proceed.” Ew that word sounds so weird coming out of my mouth.

     Amity shifts uncomfortably in her seat, an omen to the weight her question was going to bear. She does not intend to reveal herself, but she does not intend to play passively too. She wasn’t ready… not yet. Even though she longs for the omega to be hers, for her scent to be the only thing to bless her nose for the rest of her life… she is not ready.

     “Your family, back at the human realm. You miss them, don’t you?” Amity only hopes it wasn’t too personal.

     “Of course I do,” the human smiles… that same melancholic smile she had showed Amity on the first day they had bonded. “And it’s not a they, it’s a she. My mother.”

     “You want to go back?”

     Luz looks away. There was no way she was able to answer that question. A part of her was screaming yes, while another pleads for a no. She misses her mom, badly, but going back means giving up on being a witch… and she does not have the power to choose.

     Too weak.

     Too greedy.

     Too selfish.

     “Only one question is allowed, that, my dear friend, was two.”

    “Fair. We need to go back to our project anyways. Would you like to do the honors of pouring this time?”

    Luz beams. If you had been focused on somewhere else, or had not been paying enough attention, you would miss the slightest way her eyes mirrored her soul. The pure and unkempt longing she had for her family, though she doesn’t admit it.

     Luz wanted to go home. She needed to, for her own sanity. But Amity still could not understand why the human chooses to stay— why she chooses to let herself suffer this way, when things could be much different— easier.

    It pains her to see her omega that way. Such a sad look does not suit her stunning face— it does not suit her booming voice. It was not Luz.

     “Sure. Why not?”

     She’s good. She really is. For a human who she initially thought wore her emotions on her sleeves, she was surprisingly hard to read. I guess that leaves me one last thing to do…

     “How long have you known?”

     “For a while now.”

      Eda hums. What a predicament her human child has found herself in. Playing mind games with a powerful Alpha Nobility— exchanging lies and quirky smiles under the guise of playful and harmless flirting. She can’t say she disapproves, Eda has done worse, but she can’t say she approves either.

     “This is dangerous waters, Kid. You know that. Did your parents ever tell how not to play with fire?”

     “I know,” Luz sighs. “I don’t think… she’s ready to know that I know, at least not yet.”

     An excuse, is what that was. Eda and Luz both know the reason— the real reason, why she was hesitant. It’s a little too personal, but it’s there. Hidden under the shadows that Luz’ bright smile casts, collecting dusts but growing like a cancer.

     “Luz, you’re old enough to know better.”

     “I’m not the only one lying to the other here! Although I am a few steps ahead.”

     “Lies are still lies, Kid. No matter how good you are at it. Just tell her that you know.”

     “Eda, I can’t”

     “Why not?”

     We’re both not ready.

     If Amity knew, she’ll spend most of her days and energy avoiding her like a plague. At least. The girl was an emotional time bomb, unstable and dependent on the consistency of her everyday lives. Rude as it was to make these deductions about the witch, Luz was smart enough to see and connect the dots.

     The shy smiles, the blush, the purrs, and the most obvious, her excited pheromones whenever the human does so much as breathe in her direction. Luz’ not going to lie, it was cute. Amity Blight likes me.

      But for the vice versa to happen? It will be extremely vile of her to do so.

      Liking her back will be the cruelest thing she could possibly do… it is selfish, and Luz is aware of this. So she—for as long as she can, she will try and stop it.

      “It’s complicated.”

     “Not from where I can see it. You kids are making things more complicated than it ought to be…”

     “Whatever. I was asking for your advice, not your judgement.”

     “Same thing. And my advice has already been given.”

     Luz raises her brow, nestling her hot cup of cocoa deep to her chest, “which is?”

     “Fix it before the universe has a chance to fuck things up.”

     Tsk. Easier said than done.

Chapter Text

“ Charity by principle that God will bless you in return is to give with a heart of greed rather than with a heart of love. “

-Criss Jami

     Luz was hit with an immense sense of déjà vu. Standing in the same clearing, at the same blood filled moon, with the same sweating nape and a gentle but warning kiss of the midnight wind on her skin.

     What was she doing in the middle of the forest at midnight, you might ask. Answer is easy. Because she needed to be, that was all. Because she needed to be surrounded by something that did not reek of magic, of fairytales and lies she brewed in her mind. Something she could touch, feel on the palms of her hands, something real.

     The forest was such a place. Nothing but nature and her children to encompass her and her poor and lonely soul. Though intimidating were her giants, her touches were nimble and forgiving.

      Does she deserve it, though? Forgiveness.

      For using another one of God’s children for her own benefit? To feed her own selfishness with the hope and love of others? To love the feeling of being wanted in a way she shouldn’t return? Would a person like that be deserving of forgiveness?

     She curses her own mind sometimes, for being old enough to comprehend the injustice of the world. The unfairness of it all. The loneliness and the pain that comes with the realization that, things must be what they are, and that you are powerless to change it.

     Luz chuckles at the thought. To think that a few years ago she would’ve been laughing at the notion. She was too optimistic back then, immature, and blind to the world. Willingly so. But being thrown here, in a different realm, separate from the things she ever knew and ever loved… it changed her.

     For the better or worse? She can’t decide yet.

     “Look at you cute little bunny,” Luz sighs as an innocent bunny hopped onto her lap, getting a close look of its… uhm. “Cute little bunny with fangs, huh? I Shouldn’t be too surprised honestly.”

     “I wonder what cruel things the world has done to you— you wouldn’t mind sharing, would you?”

     The bunny sniffs and stares, confused. Funny, Luz thinks. If only she were as ignorant and innocent as this bunny. Living in this god awful world must be bliss. “Of course not, you can’t even talk.”

     The bunny hops away, to its own little burrow in the clearing where Luz hung out.

     Luz stands up, finally. Staying under this clearing, though calming, was just a band-aid solution to a long running problem.

     She misses her home. Her family. But she does not want to go back, for it lacks the magic she dreams of.

     If only she could have both, right? What’d I tell you, Selfish.

     The only sense of home she gets from around here was the forest, that little exploding lake south of the owl house, and…

     Amity.

     The object of her… selfish desires.

     Painful as it might be to admit, She needs the alpha just as much as the alpha needs her omega. That was the truth. To be so overly dependent on the other for emotional support was not a healthy sign in a relationship. Or, whatever it was that the two have right now.

     Falling victim to temptation would be oh so satisfying, but it wouldn’t be right.

     And if Amity does not realize it, it was a fact Luz had to bear, and carry, all on her own.

     And by all means was that no light matter.

     “I’m really craving for some gelato and pizza right now, but it’s the Boiling Isles…” she sighs in defeat. The more she spends time in this place, the more she really misses the simplicity of the human realm. Things don’t just spontaneously explode without reason there.

      Luz wanders again. Not the first time that night she had done it, but the first she had ever let her take her anywhere useful. Like the lake.

     She had studied the lake for a long time— not that she was an expert on lakes or large bodies of freshwater, but anything superficial, or any noticeable patterns that are noteworthy, she takes down. Bullet formed, and organized. Professional, wouldn’t you say? Hehe.

    The lake explodes twice a day, one somewhere between 9-11 in the morning, and another somewhere between 2-10 in the afternoon. She doesn’t know why it explodes, it just does. Knowing the island, it could probably be something ridiculous like, the lake was angry at that specific time and just wanted to explode.

     Anyhow, whatever it was, she can’t deny the close resemblance it has on the lake they have near her hometown. Except of course for the fact that this one literally explodes.

     (I wrote the word ‘explode’ like four times)

     “Should’ve brought a coat with me or something— bitch is cold.”

      Awesome. She just might have to cut her trip a little too soon.

     Going back to the owl house was really not in her list of itineraries. It gives her limited space to think, but it’s either she goes back, or stay out here and freeze to death— or possibly get mauled by some huge critter. Whoever gets to her first.

      There is that one place she could stay though…

     But am I even allowed to stay the night there? It’s not mine first of all, and second its… kinda embarrassing.

     Visiting someone’s den when they’re not there is kinda… personal???

     She doubts Amity’s chilling there right now. She’d probably be back at her estate, doing whatever nobles and top students do in their free time. And the possibility that she would visit is low… God, am I really going to do this?

     “Hope I don’t get lost again…”

     “What do you mean? We don’t have shit like that in our house!”

     “We’re rich! Not to be a snob or whatever, but it’s probably cheaper than our fucking estate!”

     “It’s a door to the human realm! People don’t usually have that in their backyard!”

     Amity might have overestimated her family’s wealth and connections, just a tiny bit.

     “What do you even plan on doing with a door to the human realm? If— Oh.” Emira and Edric share a mind— and a brain, at this point. Their eyes widened in unison as the weight and the subtext of their little sister’s words hit them.

     “Is this for Luz?” Emira asks.

     “Have you finally lost it?,” then her twin continues.

     “What I do with her is none of you two’s business okay— she’s mine to worry about,” Amity does not mean to sound so sharp, but she could not help it. Why was it so unbelievable that she would do things for someone else just because she wants to?

     … okay to be fair, she shouldn’t really preach about that since she was ashamed of the fact that she was hanging out with Luz— but that’s besides the point! Things are not like that anymore.

     “Woah woah woah, we’re not trying to take your girlfriend from you, chill” Edric laughs.

     “not my girlfriend.”

     “But a door to the human realm?,” Emira winces, hands attached to her hips, then this look of scrutiny on her face, “a bit of an overkill, don’t you think?”

     Amity stared at her sister with an unimpressed look on her face. Does she really want Amity to list the things Emira had gotten for Viney starting from the most expensive to the most dangerous? It would take them all night.

     They were lucky Amity was in a hurry right now and not really in a mood for a debate.

     “I asked a simple question— gotta hand it to my two siblings to totally reply with everything but an answer.”

     “But we did answer you! And the answer was no, we don’t have anything close to that in this house—“

     “Thanks, have a goodnight.” Amity takes a 160 degree turn, straight towards the door and away from her siblings teasing and painstakingly stupid antics. If her house didn’t have it, then surely someone’s house does.

     Breaking and Entering was not in the list of things she wanted to do this year but… there’s a first for everything right?

     Gathering all her wits about her, she left her estate in nothing but a thick coat for the unforgiving winds, and brevity in her veins. Her signature shoulder bag for her notebook and pen of course— and her destination? Where all knowledge is found, and easily lost, the library!

     … Which is closed. Because it’s past curfew. Well fuck.

     “Breaking and entering does sound nice this time of the year…” luckily for her, she’s a Blight. Not only are Blights powerful in the art of abomination and illusion, they are also known for being sly, and conniving little bitches. Exactly what Amity needed to be in this moment.

    If she could climb her room on the second floor, she could probably climb a library window, right?

     The things I do for that human…

     As it turns out, and inevitably so, Amity is actually quite talented for breaking and entering. She knew exactly where to bash that sharp rock on the window and managed to somehow ‘ninja’ her way in. Or whatever it is that Luz says. Impossible it might seem, but the loud wailing of some child from the neighborhood plus some random barking dog helped cover the sound.

     From what she could remember from all the times she spent here actually reading and not hanging out in her secret room, the library had reserved an entire isle for mythical things about the Boiling Isle. She might’ve found it intriguing if she were 10 years younger, but now she could only sigh at the massiveness of the fucking shelves.

     You’d think for people who doesn’t like leaving their island, they would spend more time appreciating it rather than writing about their appreciation for it. Seemed rather odd to her but she can’t really judge. She has been doing it to Luz. For a long time. Which is concerning to say the least.

     Alright, where the fuck are you ya’ little shit…

    Anything about humans should be helpful— the Boiling Isle didn’t have much. They have very little interest in the dull and boring lives of humans, except weirdos like Gus and… well, Amity, so it seems.

     By the back, the deepest part of the isle, she saw one book, the only one that had humans in its title. Thinking of how big of a trouble she’s in when someone finds her breaking and entering, she grabbed it, put it in her bag, and made a run for it.

     She didn’t steal it of course, don’t be silly. She plans on returning it. Sometime. In the near future.

     “They really should put some security here…” she grunts as she runs towards her home.

     Didn’t take her long— she was athletic for a reason. She couldn’t run as fast as her human though, but she did do it fast enough that her parent’s wouldn’t be suspicious if they found her climbing up on her—

     Oh fuck, the lights are on.

     Great. Not only are the lights on in her parent’s bedroom, but both her parent’s shoes were at the doorstep as well, fresh from the ground. The only time she needed her parents to be away from their house and they’re here. One of these days my luck is going to inevitably run out and when that happens, I will scream bloody murder to anybody I see.

    “To the den I go then, the fuck. I even forgot my scroll— and my laptop! Ugh! I have an assignment to finish!”

     At least she had a coat… and a book? Who was she kidding here? The den is comfortable and all but it’s not exactly the best place to do academic things in. First and foremost, it’s literally a cave. As in, no electricity? No doors? No fire? Well, she could do something about the fire part but… there’s only ever one reason she goes there. Two, actually.

     First was if and only if she’s going through her rut, and mindlessly turned into a wolf she cannot control.

     Two was because of…. Well you know who.

     All she could do was sigh. If she had known she was going to spend more time in that den she would’ve at least made it more… homely. With lit candles, nice paintings, more than one blanket— a fucking door. Then again, what kind of den has a door?

     One that belongs to a rich entitled ass probably— oh wait, that’s me. How original.

     The longer she walks through the woods, dark, alone, holding but a single old and dusty book— my how the Gods would pity her right now. It’s not the best impression she could make, she could do better. But it’s not like she can just walk like she’s in a beauty pageant or something— wait.

     Amity sniffs the air. Luz’ scent on the Den has been… semi-permanent, so she worries nothing about that. But there was something else, something stronger, amplified even. Something that calls out to her alpha— that pulls her from her collar and begging for her to follow. And of course, she follows.

     The den was dark, even with the light of the moon granting her the littlest light, it was still unbelievably dark. But she could sense something in there—smell, more like.

     She approaches, cautiously, her feet light and ready to pounce if trouble arises. But it didn’t. As her eyes grew more accustomed to the dark… she noticed a figure, still and unmoving on her nest. Clad in her blanket, sleeping soundly. It was small, whatever it was, and it smelled like.

     Amity’s brows furrowed. It was very familiar, that scent. She swore she knew what it was, it was at the tip of her tongue. A bit more push and— oh!

     Amity’s eyes widened in shock.

     It’s an omega in heat.

     Her eyes grew wider and her jaw slack.

     It’s Luz in heat!

Chapter Text

“ The two most important days of your life is the day you are born and the day you find out why. ”

                                                                -Mark Twain

    There are, to man, seven known deadly sins. They are, in order, pride, greed, wrath, envy, lust, gluttony, and sloth. And according to Dante Alighieri’s Inferno, there are certain layers in hell where people who practice these sins go.  Nine Circles of Hell, as he calls it. Quite the imaginative fellow— brave. Brave enough to bring order to an otherwise chaotic prospect. Hell.

     Imagine that. And Amity believes, she was on her way to the second circle of hell. If you can’t guess where that is, look it up. Though she would die of embarrassment from it.

     She clings, to the rock, like an animal. A cornered one. Her nails leaving noticeable dents on an already impressionable rugged cave wall. Her instincts were getting the better of her and nothing gets the better of her. It’s annoying yes, but she can’t exactly scream at herself. It’d be pathetic. (She’ll do it later)

     Oh the horror. If Luz wakes up and finds her there, clinging to the wall like a pathetic creature, staring at her while she sleeps. She would hate her— find her incredulously stalker-ish at least.

     What would the Titans have her do!? She can’t just leave, leaving behind a very attractive and very vulnerable omega in heat in the middle of a goddamn forest, in a den without no doors! That would be idiotic! Especially when its an omega she fancies! Quite painfully might she remind all.

     Now building a door to the den doesn’t sound like a bad idea, huh?

     She can’t go to her wolf form either— Oh gods no. Who knows what her wolf form would do— she has enough trouble controlling it through annoying situations as it is, she does not need a much deeper and primal instinct to cause influence and make it go ballistically terrifying.

    Luz probably hasn’t realized yet. She will in the morning, but now it hasn’t made itself that uncomfortable yet.

    Oh fuck what do I do, I can’t just stand in the corner thinking about what I should be doing till sunrise! Although that does sound like a good idea.

    What more? It’s a school day tomorrow. Gosh why won’t the universe just fucking leave her alone? For once! Just fucking—

     “Piss off.”

     She says out loud— too loud. Oh my god. Amity clamps her mouth shout with both hands, eyes wary and heart pounding against her chest. She watches and waits for Luz to acknowledge her ungodly voice, for her to wake up and realize she was not alone, but alas she didn’t. She forgot how well Luz sleeps.

     “As long as she’s safe… I just have to make sure she’s safe.”

     Amity manages to gather what little sense she had in her head and calmed herself down. Wow. It was harder than she thought but she did it. She sat down, crosses her legs, crosses her arms, hugs the book tightly against her chest, and she watches attentively at her omega across the den.

     How her chest rises and falls slowly and softly, how her hair dances with the rhythm of the wind. She adores silently. Staring was rude, her parents made sure she knows that, but she couldn’t help it. By God she could not help it…

     She hugs the book tighter… praying to whoever it was that planned all this shit to at least make it so Amity wouldn’t have to protect Luz from herself.

     Amity did not sleep a wink. She did not. Instead of staring at her omega all night, she though it’d be better for the both of them is she directed her attentiveness elsewhere. Say, for example, the book she just stole—borrowed from the library. It was the reason she spent the night here of course. Luz was just the added unexpected coincidence.

     She found out many things about humans, some she has heard from Luz herself, others she had only come to understand and know that night. She isn’t sure of the credibility of the book. It was probably written by some geek or something who was a tad bit too obsessed for their own good. Still, Amity would’ve said thank you.

     From what she inquired from the book, there currently exist one way for humans and magical creatures to visit each other’s world. A door, that folds in on itself, gold in its corners with a… not so suspicious looking eye in the middle. Course, she’s never seen a door like that in her life, not to mention heard of it’s whereabouts, but it’s a start.

     As soon as the first light from the sun touches the blades of grass that decorates the entrance of the den, Amity bolts out of there. Luz would wake up sooner or later, and she would realize she was in heat and stay home for a couple of days. Take a break and all that. Which gives Amity time for research and quite possibly more illegal things aside from breaking and entering.

     She got home— discretely— took a shower, ate some leftovers from last night, grabbed her things and the book, and headed straight towards school.

     Her first period would be nothing but Abomination, of course. It is the coven that she chose, unlike those other lucky students who managed to convince Principal Bump to put them in multiple ones. Like Luz. Who gets to attend like, all of them. She’s impressed. She didn’t actually think the girl could do it, but she did. Proving Amity wrong once again.

     Amity was always early to school, and this time was no exception. She enjoyed extra reading before the start of every class so she makes sure she’s there ahead of everybody else.

     Imagine her surprise when she sees three familiar faces standing in front of the entrance of the campus, in their uniforms, ready for the day and… are they arguing?

     Amity walked closer, trying to get a whiff of the trouble— but got a whiff of something else instead.

     “Dude, you can’t just go to school while in heat— it’s a bad idea,” Gus’ voice registered through Amity’s ear like a microphone. Of course there was only one person he was referring to.

     “Good morning, what’s going on?” Amity asks. Luckily for them there were not a lot of students in campus yet, but they are slowly filling in, and the more Alphas pass by Luz and so much as turns their head at her, the more Amity’s blood boils.

     “Amity, thank the Titans you’re here. Can you convince our little friend here to just pack up and go home? She’s in her heat and it’s just… can you?” Willow asks of Amity with that pleading brows.

     Of course Amity would. She would, if Luz would actually listen to her.

     “I’m fine, guys, really. It’s just my heat, I’m not going to die— or whatever.”

     Amity raises a brow, “are heats not a big deal in the human realm?”

     “Not usually. I mean, they are a bother, but most don’t have to skip school because they have it.”

      Makes sense. Totally makes sense. Luz doesn’t know how heats work here in the Boiling Isles— well she doesn’t know how most things work in the Boiling Isle, but the girl is getting there, okay? All Amity has to do is explain and she’ll get it and go, right?

    “Luz… things are a bit, uhm… extreme here in the Boiling Isles. It’s really not recommended for you to stay in campus while in heat.”

     “Oh hush, what’s the worse that can happen?”

     “You really shouldn’t test your odds like that all the time, you’re gonna give me an anxiety attack,” Gus jokes… half jokes? Amity wasn’t really sure by his tone.

     “Why don’t we just get you a suppressant potion then? That’ll probably help, right?” Of course! Amity hadn’t thought of that. The infirmary doesn’t have one because they normally don’t have to deal with this but Amity might know how to brew one.

      “Right… you guys have the recipe for it?” Amity looks on expectantly at the group, unconsciously scooting herself closer to Luz and slowly seizing the gap.

      “The library might have it, you know how to brew potions, Amity?”

     “Sure, how hard can it be?”

     “Don’t know, but I guess you can probably pull it off,” Gus scratches his head, they have no choice.

     “Brilliant, you guys find the recipe and I’ll meet you guys at the abandoned room on the second floor,” Amity glances back behind Luz and sends a couple death-inducing glares at other alphas who tries to inch closer, “we need to isolate her from others.”

     “Great. Let’s go.”

     “What? I don’t really get what’s going on in he—“ they didn’t waste time at all, after the short but precise discussion, the team went ofd to carry their part in the mission, and in Luz’ case, being dragged off to the second floor.

     Goddamn if only they were able to run in the halls, it would be much faster. Instead they have to walk at a normal speed, to avoid attention from professors who always wore scent blockers. Avoiding attention from the student body will prove itself to be more difficult from the former, though.

     Amity could handle it. The glances, the wide eyes, the thirst from others directed at her omega. She could stomach it. She could ignore it, even though she did desperately desire to tell them to go fuck themselves— preferably a kilometer away from her and her omega.

     However there were some, not all, but some who had the audacity to fucking whistle. Some inappropriate comments under the breath, Some who tried to reach out for a touch— Amity would bring hell upon them all. She will take them through all the nine circles of it and then leave them to rot and wander all alone and desperate in purgatory.

     A bit morbid, but Amity does hate it that much.

     “Calm down. They know they can’t touch me,” comes Luz’ soft voice from beside her, her hands placed soothingly on Amity’s shoulder to bring her back down to the ground.

     “They can try, but I think the school would have to hire more cleaners for the blood afterwards,” Amity seethes, fangs bared, and her arms wrapped protectively around the small of Luz’ back.

     “How charming.”

     “Now you see why staying in school while in heat is a bad idea?”

     “A little bit, maybe.”

     Before they could climb the stairs, and before Amity could get Luz in the clear— an annoying and ear-shattering voice booms through the hall. The smell of her authority reeked, and Amity could not help to spike out her scent to combat it, stepping in front of Luz to shield her from the curse of the soul that is Boscha.

     “Oh My Titans, are you in heat Luz?” She asks, a lopsided grin on her lips.

     “Piss of, Boscha.”

     “Shut up, Blight, I did not ask you,” Boscha eyes Luz seductively and smiles once again— oh the satisfaction Amity would get from punching that grin off her face, “I’m asking Luz.”

     Luz only rolls her eyes and steps in front, not scared, and quite obviously tired of her bullshit so early in the fucking morning. “Yes. Isn’t it obvious? Here I thought you were the best of the best.”

     “How brave, standing with your alpha like that. Come here and say it to my face,” Boscha spits out the command, using her own Alpha pheromones to add emphasis— to force Luz to submit to her. You could almost see how other omegas in the vicinity cowled and hung their heads low, however, Luz did not.

     “I would, but I would hurt my knees stooping down to your level.”

     Boscha was pissed, for the lack of better term, and Amity was stifling a laugh. Luz got her good, Boscha realizes that, and to be made fun of by an omega and a human in front of everybody, is incredibly embarrassing. She was not done though, she had more up her sleeves, and she’ll make sure these two get a taste of it.

     “I bet. You’d probably love being on your knees in front of me, huh?” Boscha’s grin widen as she saw a flash of murderous intent on Amity’s golden bright eyes. She wanted to pounce on her, but Luz held her back. Tough crowd, this human.

     “Talk to her like that and I will skin you alive.”  Amity threatens, the concoction of two alpha pheromones fighting to the death in the air was starting to get heavy and dizzying to those who were unlucky enough to witness the fight, but they were too curious to leave.

     “You’re so full of shit, you know that? Why are you so protective when she’s not even yours,” Boscha takes a step forward, despite Skara’s warning not to. She takes a few more steps until she was up and personal with the two and my was that scent intoxicating, she almost had her eyes rolling to the back of her head.

     “Stop, and leave. Do not make me repeat myself, I do not have the patience for this, Boscha.” Amity mouths her name like a curse, and in a way, she probably is.

     “Titans you’ve become so weak you can’t even take this human, fine, then maybe I will,” Boscha grabs Luz by the wrist, and in that very moment, not even a fraction of a second has passed, she felt a sting on her cheek. Followed by a loud ‘slap’ the reverberated through the walls.

     She let’s go of Luz’ wrist, instinctively, to cover her now painfully red cheek. She stepped back, her pheromones now shocked and weak in the air, slowly being replaced by fear and anxiety.

     She does not realize it at first, as Boscha were more concerned about the gasps and the whispers that rung out louder than the slap, but she acknowledges it after she sees Amity’s wide eyes, and opened mouth.

     Luz had slapped her.

     Hard.

     The thought couldn’t even be processed by her brain well. How? When? How did she not see it coming? When did she start having the guts? Her mind races, throwing questions after another, as Boscha sees the two climb up the stairs— mostly Luz, pulling Amity by the hand, she felt another sting drop on her cheek. This time it was wet.

     “Why did you do that? Do you know how much trouble you are in right now?” Amity could not believe her eyes, or her ears! That slap sound will stay engraved in her mind forever as a trophy— but it does not change the fact that they are in deeper shit right now.

     Luz had just slapped one of the most powerful, influential, and richest witch at Hexside and most likely in the Boiling Isles. Without a second thought too! Really, Amity should be head over heels right now and she is, don’t get her wrong, but the worry far exceeds the… lust of the moment.

     “She will do worse things to you, she will make your life a living hell!”

     “I’m sorry!” Luz stops in front of the empty room’s door. She turns around, albeit hesitantly, to look at Amity in the eyes, “I just didn’t like the way she was talking to you, I couldn’t control myself. Sorry.”

     Amity stood there, dumbfounded. A little unconventional for a Blight and a Nobility, but she is physically incapable of  giving a single fuck right now. She could will herself to do anything but whisper a, “thank you.”

     “Sure, you’re welcome.”

Chapter Text

“ I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. ”

-Dr. Seuss

     “You sure this’ll work?”

     Luz is not going to lie, and quite frankly with this heat beating the shit out of her and everyone around her, she’s not in the mood for it. So she breathes— fuck that potion stinks— and she faces Amity, brows furrowed, and eyes looking out in that doubtful manner.

     “There’s only one way to know, right?”

     Amity isn’t really so confident in her work either. She worries as much as she doubts. And though she did not doubt much, especially in her own capability— she is the best. She worries a fuck ton. Especially for someone who had her own life planned out for her.

     “I’ve never had to take suppressants before,” Luz whispers. She was… nervous, and Amity could understand that at the very least.

     “Well, if it makes you feel any better, I’ve never had to make suppressants before either,” came Amity’s poor attempt at comfort.

     “That does not make me feel better, really it doesn’t.”

     Amity gives up. She places the glass of green gooey liquid down on a dusty table, and looks on at the human with an unimpressed expression. She adores the girl, truly, but she really has got to puff it up and get this done and over with.

     “Luz, you’re stalling. Drink the potion.”

     “Promise me you’ll turn me back if I morph into some kind of zombie or something.”

     “I don’t know what that is but if you do not drink that potion I will make sure you turn into one of them.”

     Well, here goes nothing, right? Luz throws her head back and chugs the potion in one go, not really liking the idea of letting stay in her mouth more than necessary. Not only did it smelled like shit and looked like shit,  it tasted like one too. Though that aftertaste sure was interesting.

      “So…” Luz begins, putting the now empty bottle on the table, “did it work?”

      “How would I know? Potions don’t take effect immediately.”

      “Yeah, but you’re an alpha so you can probably tell if there was a difference, right?”

      Is she fucking with me right now? ‘Cause her face is making this ‘I’m totally serious’ look, and I’m not sure how to react to that.

      “You want me to…sniff you?”

      “Oh come on, you won’t die!”

      But it is way too inappropriate… and quite frankly way too soon in this relationship. What a dingus.

       “Aren’t you scared I might pounce on you, or something?,” Amity asks. Ironic, really, because it seemed like she was the one who was scared she’d pounce on Luz. Way to project your fears for other people to read. Real subtle.

       “No? You wouldn’t do that.” Amity didn’t even want to ask where Luz got all that misplaced confidence from, but she won’t argue with her about it either. However, that does not mean she’s going to sniff her. Even though she’s been doing it plenty for a long time.

      “Second period should start soon, we really should get out of here,” She changes the subject. She grabs her bag from one of the corners of the room and dusted off the accumulated particles there— whatever those was.

       “You know it’s okay, right?”

       Amity rolled her eyes, “No, Luz, it’s not. I already skipped the first one, I’m not going to miss the second.”

       “I mean this…”

      The Blight collapsed on the floor. Or at least she felt like she was about to. She almost did. Her heart pounded aggressively against her chest, wanting to be let out of its bony cage as Luz takes a hold of her own pale hand and held it delicately. She slowly led it around her torso, until Amity was hugging Luz. Flush against each other.

      In this proximity, Amity didn’t even have to say anything for Luz to find out about her raging homosexual crush. Her heart beat had beaten her to it. A traitor. A snitch.

      Luz’ voice were soothing right next to her ears, like it belongs there, like it was meant to be there. And their bodies fit together so damn well it was cruel. It was cruel how the simple act of… hugging had coaxed a vulnerable reaction out of her. She could not stand it— to be this despicably weak in front of the person you want to protect.

      “Why are you so afraid? You are allowed to care for someone else, and you deserve to be cared for by someone else. Why hold yourself back?”

     How…

      Like fire, and like lightning all together, Amity flinched and instinctively pushed Luz away. It stung, where her words had hit her, where it had bore a hole deep in her and unearthed hidden and dirty secrets she tried to keep under. How did she know? Why does it seem like she knows so much? What is… why…?

      Amity collects her things and rushed through that door, despite Luz’ arguments for her to wait and stay.

     When you look into the mirror and you see a monster, you do not keep on looking, do you? You turn away, and you run. You run as far away as you can. But when you look at the… love of your life, and see the reflection of your own weakness, your incapability on the gloss of their eyes… what exactly do you do at that moment?

      For Amity Blight, she wanted to run. To escape. And escape she did… but that did not erase the fact— the true nature of what had just happened.

      Luz had seen right through her. With ease, might she add. And she reacted so softly to it. She wanted to nurture, to comfort, like a mother would to an abandoned baby on the street. She wanted to help.

      And what did Amity do? What she always does. Chickened out.

     Pathetic.

     Maybe she should start reading about that Jesus Christ that Luz mentions so much…

     Luz had not been to school after that disastrous event. Partly out of embarrassment and all that fiasco she’s caused, but Mostly because Eda would not allow her. Putting more emphasis on the whole ‘you cannot go to school while in heat’ more than Amity or any of her friends did. Another thing about Boiling Isles to think about, they’re sensitive about heats.

     She did not visit the den either, believe it or not. She actually hasn’t left the owl house for approximately 4 days since her heat started. It should be gone tomorrow, but she’s not entirely sure. It fluctuates every now and again. However, the good news is, her eye’s fixed!

     “Try not to get yourself blinded again, will ya?” Eda jokes as she removes the white patch, revealing familiar and functioning chocolate brown eyes.

     “Noted.”

     “So,” oh no, Luz recognizes the look. Eda’s about to ask about something really personal again, isn’t she? “How are you and Amity doing these days?” Yep, I knew it.

     “Oh come on, I told you to drop it,” Luz rolls her eyes. She does not like talking about it to anybody but herself— a bad idea, but an idea nonetheless.

     “Don’t tell me you flirt back”

     “I don’t. I try not to, at least.”

     “It will be very cruel if you did, when it’s so damn clear that you do not like her in that way.”

     Luz doesn’t answer. Eda was correct. For once, she actually believes the advice. It would be too selfish of her to just… let out all her emotions on the girl, causing her to fall in love, and then claiming that she likes her too. That is just… vile. Wouldn’t that be considered as leading someone on?

     And even if they did turn out as lovers, what will be its foundation? Their dependence on each other as someone whom you can vent out to? Solely? It would not be ideal. It would not be healthy…it would not be right.

     Luz’ mother once said, when you love someone, a distinction should always be made. A distinction between loving the person, or loving the feeling of loving the person. It was confusing to Luz at first, but it made proper sense now.

     She’s confused. She’s scared. Quite frankly, Luz is still unclear on how she feels about the Blight. She cares for her, sure, but how much is the question.

     “I know that Eda.”

     “Well then why not tell her already? The longer you let this one play out, the farther you and Amity will be when she finds out.”

     “But… but what if she confesses first?”

     Eda scoffs, appalled Luz even bothered asking the question, “You tell her the truth obviously. That you don’t like her and you should just stay as friends, all that jazz.”

     Luz faces away, a long lost look in her eyes. Thinking, deeply.

     But what if I do like her? What then? How do I know it’s real? How do I know I like her because I like her and not just because I’m lonely?

     “You’re older now, kid, what you do is up to you but my advice? Do not complicate things.”

     “Things aren’t always simple either, Eda,” Luz argued, throwing her hands up in exasperation. She’d rather be temporarily blind for a few weeks more if it meant she wouldn’t have to go through with this.

     “Sometimes things are complicated, and we have to deal with it,” Luz adds.

     “For someone who understands so much of the world, you suck at the simplest of things, people.”

     “Wow, what a way to add salt to injury.”

     Luz stands up from the couch and stretches her arms. All this time being cooped up in one place with the same people, it drives you wild in the head. Not much to do, gives plenty of time for thinking. And though it does not look like it, Luz does think a lot. And she has thought about many things these past few days.

     “Where’s King? I’d rather talk to him about this— oh right, he’s mad at you,” Luz eyes accusingly at Eda. To which the witch just shrugs.

     “You mean, us?”

     “It was an accident. You could’ve caught the dye but decided you didn’t want to ‘cause it’d be,” Luz air quotes, “funnier.”

     “The king of the demons, scary fangs, golden eyes, and bright pink fur. How terrifying.”

     “Please do apologize,” Luz decides she had enough love talk to last her a decade. She walks over to the stairs, where her room would be, and she opens the door. Before she went in, though, she gave one last look at her mentor and her mother-figure for the last year.

     “Do not try to cook dinner again or so God help me I will burn the entire place down so you wouldn’t have to.”

     “Goodnight to you too!”

     With that, Luz closes the door.

     Deep inside her, she knew, and she believed, not telling Amity and not reacting to her feelings despite the fact that she was aware of it was the right thing to do. Less pain and less hardships for all those involved, including her. But it does not erase the doubt— that persistent worry, that maybe, just maybe, she was doing it wrong.

      That it would hurt more, if she did not do anything.

     Luz was not entirely at fault either. Amity will take her fair share of faults for keeping the fact of her wolf identity a secret. If Luz had not found out on her own, she would’ve never known at all. Such a secret was cruel too. To be attached to something, to tell your secrets, your soul, and you to someone and then it turns out they weren’t who you thought they were. It’s still mental torture.

     Luz was not mad, that Amity did what she did. Kept doing it, actually, even after the first few months. Luz was not mad because she understands. The Blight was just as lonely as she was if not more. She needed something— someone to hold on to, someone that can pull her through the darkest nights, and ground her through the brightest days. They needed each other. More than anything else.

     And that was a bad thing.

     To need a person so much as to suffocate if they are not there. As if they were the air you breathe. The water that keeps you alive, the life force that keeps you going. It was not right.

      It will never be right.

      Will it?

      But maybe, you know. Maybe that’s just what love is. Maybe not, Luz was no expert when it comes to that. So her decisions will be as good as null when concerning the matters of romance. But she tries. She will.

      She has finally come to an agreement with herself. It is time… finally, for her to come forward and tell the truth.

      This game that they were playing with each other. It was never meant to last, and truth be told, they will just exhaust themselves in the long run. Luz will be doing them both a favor.

      This decision may be right, it may be wrong, it may be neither. But it will continue being a ‘maybe’ if she keeps it that way.

     Luz is tired…

     Luz is broken.

     Luz is lonely.

     “I’ll tell her. All of it. Tomorrow.”

     Luz is selfish.

Chapter Text

“ The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong. ”

-Mahatma Gandhi

     Despite what the Boiling Isles may have you think, it’s actually not a difficult place to live in. It had two of the best schools for witches in training, owned old structures and statues of great magical influence, gave birth to most of the powerful witches today, whether part of any coven or not. The Boiling Isles is a powerhouse of an island. That is what Amity believed.

     That is what the Blights have to believe, in order for the family to make themselves stay and not leave to some other place with other strengths and weaknesses. Or other worlds with its own beauty and charm. The Boiling Isles is their home, whether they like it or not. And they are not allowed to leave.

     Amity might be the first to change that.

     “So… you want to go to The Owl House to ask the Owl Witch for help on your quest for this magical human door?” Amity just wishes, her siblings be more helpful than they are annoying and extremely doubtful.

     “The same house that your human crush lives and breathes in— probably still in her heat?” Emira adds, trying her very best not to let her lips tug itself into a smile.

     “It’s not a big deal. I’ll just knock on the door and talk to her, that’s all.”

     “Am, you just said that like, three times now. It’s obviously a big deal.”

     “I’m just surprised you haven’t imprinted on her yet at this point.”

      At her brother’s mention of ‘imprinting’ Amity’s cheeks exploded red in embarrassment. It’s not like the thought hadn’t crossed her mind. The possibility was high, and the chance of it happening accidentally was more likely than it happening on command. The reason why it hasn’t happened yet— to her own argument— is that she believes it should be discussed properly prior. Like civilized people. Consent is everything.

     Mates are for life, and that is not something she would take lightly.

     “Please do not say that so casually,” Amity groaned, trying to hide her blush and her annoyance and her anxiety.

     “If you’re scared Em and I can come with you, distract the human while you do all your work with the owl witch,” Ed suggests, his eyes lighting up and chest puffing out as if it was the best suggestion he’s had in weeks. Well it wasn’t, Amity hates to be the bearer of bad news but the suggestion sucks.

     “If I wanted to stay low, I would not bring you two.”

     “Oh come on! We’ll be extra sneaky this time!” Emira tried to argue hut Amity’s already made up her mind about it.

     To her luck, just as Edric was about to drop another one of his “sick” ideas, the doorbell to their estate rings. Now, usually, they would have a servant answer it, check who it is, and tell them to wait in the lobby. She doesn’t know what’s happening to her today, but Amity decided she’d be the one to answer it.

     Tough luck. For as soon as she opened the door, she had never in her life felt like she wanted to bash it close again. Rude, of course, plus the door is intricate and custom made, not to mention expensive, Amity didn’t do it.

     “Ooohhh, you have a visitor…?” Even tougher luck, her twin siblings decided to shimmy in through whatever gap was left in the doorway. Crowding her in the middle.

     “Luz!” They yell in glee. Edric pounces on Luz, hugging her so tight she almost couldn’t breathe for a legit second, while Emira aggressively ruffles her dark brown hair into a mess.

     “Hey guys,” Luz chuckles heartily, despite the trouble she was having breathing through the tight ass hug. Her eyes went back however, from the twin and straight to Amity’s, holding the gaze for what suspiciously felt like longer than casually acceptable.

     “Hey Amity,” she greets, although her voice was a bit hushed, and soft. Not like the soft Amity was used to hearing. This one was soft, but heavy. Like she was desperately trying to cover up a fault, and she was failing.

     “Hey,” was all Amity could say. She held Luz’ stare, of course. There’s not much else in this world she would rather stare at all day, but too much is too much, and the twins were starting to catch on.

     “Please stop eye fucking each other—ouch!” Emira rolls her eyes but was stopped abruptly when her own twin brother slapped her arm.

     “Luz why don’t you come in?” He says invitingly, not after glaring at his sister though.

     “Oh no, I’m fine really. I just wanted to ask if Amity was free today…” Luz looked back at Amity with this expectant look. She wasn’t blushing, or whatever, but she did look nervous, so Amity wasn’t really sure.

     Her mind was like, is she really going to ask me out right now? But then a different part of her mind was like, it’s probably nothing, she’d probably want me to teach her spells or help her with magic or something.

     But it did not help. Because no matter what Amity tries to argue with herself, she arrives at the same answer again and again, all the time, without fail.

     It’s a date.

     “Yes, I do suppose I am. Free. Today. Like, right now—“ oh fuck, Amity please stop talking.

     “Cool! Wanna hang out?”

     It was not an ideal time, and Amity will ignore the fact that this is definitely the most random thing that has happened to her this week but you will not hear her complain about it. She swiftly snatched a coat from the coat racket and put on her shoulder bag— with the human book, that she should’ve probably left.

     “Sure.”

     Amity pushes both her siblings back in the house so that they could stop making puppy dog eyes at her and Luz and she follows. Too caught up in the fact that Luz just asked her to hang out for no reason that she failed to notice Luz’s other eye was no longer injured.

     “Where are we off to? The Library?” Amity asks as she quietly watches the direction they were going, but Luz only shakes her head and smiles… sadly?

     She tugs her hands in the pocket of her purple and white sweater and looks back at Amity. She recognizes that look. She wore it every time. When they would gaze at the stars that glittered at night. When she would go back home after a day of adventure through the woods. Or whenever she finished eating a favorite delicacy.

     Amity knew that gaze like it was hers.

     The first look Amity had gotten to know the human by— the real her. And quite coincidentally, the look that made her look at the human as more than just a useless peck of dust among the others.

     She hates it. That look. There was self-pity somewhere in there. Melancholy. Monotonic. Painful. Like Luz was forcing herself to just not care but she does. She can’t stop it and it hurts.

     Amity doesn’t want her to hurt.

    “The forest.” Luz finally answers after a long pause, “there’s something I want to show you.”

—————————————————————

     “Did you know, back in our world, we know more about space than our own waters? Literally. It’s amazing.”

     Luz was no stranger to exercise. She trekked and climbed up slopes and roots of this forest like she had done so many many times before. Amity would also argue that the girl’s impeccable ability to make and give chase were also attributed to her physical prowess.

     But something was off about her today, Amity just couldn’t place what.

     “Thanks, I didn’t know that.”

     Luz tried her best to fill the looming silence and anxiety with mindless and random chatter about her own world. Describing it, like how she always does to Amity. Going with the suspiciously detailed one first before deciding to move on to something more their speed.

     She was trying to make it feel so much like their usual routine with Amity as wolf that it made Amity feel a bit… off. And suspicious.

     She’s also not going to mention how she recognizes the trail Luz was hiking through, how she’s walked and jogged over the same trail whenever she would go to the den—

     Oh my Titans, she’s leading me to the den

     Amity wanted to argue, to no one in particular, how this was just a big coincidence. That Luz being Luz, she just wanted to show her the cool den and tell stories about the wolf who owns it. With pride, and those glorious soft cheeks and lips turnt up into a smile.

     That’s it. That’s all, right? It’s not like anything of questionable and scary events will happen.

     “You familiar with this forest?” Luz turns back at her and inquires. She wasn’t smiling— she didn’t even look like she wanted to ask the question, she just did. To fill the ever heavy silence perhaps.

     “To a degree. Not all of it though.”

     “I love walking around here. I used to always get lost— at night, especially. I have a bad sense of direction you see,” Luz chuckles nervously.

     “Oh?”

     The way Luz’s lips turn up for a smile, but her eyes drooped down— it felt conflicting. It feels like she didn’t want to be here at all, to be doing this, to be here with her. With Amity. She feels so uncomfortable…

     “Luz are you okay? You seem a bit off,” Amity finally admits, holding the girl back by her shoulder.

      Luz smiles again.

      It was admirable. How good of a liar the girl was. How easily she can set aside her true feelings to accommodate a more socially acceptable one. Impeccable. To pretend as swiftly as she does, to be able to convince others to believe in a false sense of security. Amity would even dare say it was terrifying.

     But beautiful.

     “I wanted to show you this—“

     Luz sweeps a large shrub out of the way to reveal the entrance to their den. The very place where they met, laughed, cried, and dreamt together. Where they slept with the warmth and the scent of the other like a comforting blanket through a dark and cold rainy night.

     The den stood in all it’s glory, and yet Amity could not look at it.

     “A cave?” Amity did not want to admit it but her resolve was slowly melting, and she held tighter and tighter at the strap of her bag to somehow ease her nerves.

     “A den,” Luz corrects, “it’s where I spend most of my days in.”

     No, Amity begs. Her eyes widening at the sudden realization—watching Luz’ lips as they open to form the next string of words in her mind. Amity wanted to plead, on her knees, with her neck bare and her arms tied back, for Luz not to say it. For Luz not to destroy it.

     She knows, doesn’t she?

     “Amity…” Luz speaks her name like a prayer— perhaps she was praying to the Gods as well for this fairytale to never stop. But her eyes showed no mercy. “Amity listen to me—“

     “—don’t!” Amity took an instinctive step back, head lowered and eyes looking at nothing but the wet patch of grass below, tickled with honey dee. She sneered, at how it mocked her, tears prickling at her eyes.

     “Do not say it, please.”

     “Stop. You know this can’t go on for much—“

     Amity drops down to the ground— literally on her knees, hands clasped together as she begs for Luz to spare her. Spare them. Spare us.

     “Please, Luz“

     “Amity I know it’s you.”

     Merciless… Luz was merciless. That was the only thought her mind could put together before her resolve cracks completely. The sound of her shattered soul falling down the emptiness of her heart— oh how it derided her.

      “I’ve known for a while now…”

      Stop.

      “Amity, talk to me…”

      Please… just stop…

     Amity saw Luz’s feet step closer to her through blurred and wet eyes. She couldn’t face her— how could she? How will she ever face her again after this? The shame— fuck, the pain… She wanted to scream. State her case, prove her innocence, defend herself, but why? Everyone knows she was not a better liar than Luz.

     “Why…?” Was all Amity could let herself say. It wasn’t what she wanted to say, but she felt like she’d look more pathetic if she just… sat there. On the ground.

     “Amity…,” do not say my name like that! Like you care, like you’re concerned. Spare me.“Look at me, please?”

     Amity kept her gaze at the ground.

     “If you knew for a while, why only tell me now?”

     “You seemed like you didn’t want it to end. So I made it last… for a while.” Luz says, voice barely above a whisper— regret, in her voice.

     Once past the point of no return, and Amity’s soul could not fragment itself into pieces no more, something else filled that void of hers. Anger, Impulse, Violence. She did not want to react in such a dishonorable way but she couldn’t help it.

     Amity sprung up and faced Luz, brows down and imposing, her Alpha pheromones speaking her anger for her. Stop, she begged herself, you fooled her first. You are in no position to act this way— stop!

     “I like you.” Amity’s voice cracked. Tears now spilling to the already wet grass, knuckles white as she fisted the collar of Luz’ sweater.

     “I—“ as if it were the last strut, the last effort to reach for a lifeline— her last breath, Amity finally admits to herself and to all the wonders of the world— her world…

     “I love you.”

     Luz only smiles… again. That fake fucking smile.

     “I know.”

     And perhaps that was damnest thing of all.

Chapter Text

“ Every lie we tell incurs a debt to the truth, sooner or later, that debt is paid. ”

-Valery Legasov

     Are you familiar with the feeling of being so unbelievably empty that even the simple act of breathing, although lets you live, gives no life? That staring at nothing seemed more interesting in this premise than it did before. That laying down in bed sounds more productive than it actually is.

     Something is gone, and you just don’t know what it is. Couldn’t understand why it is, how it is that you feel this way. It sucks, for the lack of a better term. And such thoughts and feelings give rise to something that lies deeper and much darker.

     Luz has been like that ever since her talk with Amity.

     She expected the reaction, of course. The slap was new though, but surprisingly helpful. Whenever she thinks of the green haired witch, she remembers the slap the girl gave her. Right across her cheek, no holding back. That sting, it felt like it stayed there. Even days after. It helped Luz in a way that thinking about that sting was less painful than thinking about the witch.

     “Are you going to spend this week like that too?” Eda asks as she come across Luz, sprawled out on the sofa, sulking in her otter costume.

    “What? It’s comfortable.”

     “I meant your face, kid. If you didn’t like her that much why are you so sad over it?”

     Luz stood up in defense, “I never said I didn’t like her!”

     “Well you never said you did either. You’re still confused, and that’s understandable. I’m not going to hold it against you, I’m just saying seeing you like this hurts me too, you know?”

     Eda has been soft and gentle with her these past few days. More so than she has been for the years they have known each other. King has been suspiciously affectionate though— even when Luz cried a lot back then, he would only occasionally give comfort. Luz wasn’t even crying now, and the affection was highly questionable.

     “I want to talk to her…” Luz finally says, “but how soon is too soon?”

     “Let her deal with her own struggles first. The girl seems pretty shaken. When she’s ready to talk, she will. But she’s a Blight. Do not be surprised if she just stops talking to you forever.”

     “That doesn’t sound so reassuring Eda,” Luz chuckles humorlessly.

     “Nothing is when it comes to Love.”

     Eda should probably  be the last person Luz goes to for love life advice. For several reasons— one of them being that her romantic conquests usually never lasts. But she was the only person Luz could entrust her feelings and her emotions to… the bare ones. The ones that had no lies embedded into them like a plague.

     “It’ll work out in the end, probably. And if it doesn’t? There are other fishes in the sea, I guess.”

     Luz understands that Eda was just trying to make her feel better about the fact that she potentially ruined a possible relationship with a person she actually likes. But she doesn’t feel better. Somehow, that statement, though brings comfort to most people, brought discomfort to her.

     Like looking for somebody else was a mortal sin— and that God himself would strike her dead if she ever attempts it. How perplexing, that Luz feels that way. Truly it is a challenge to unwound the mind of Luz Noceda.

     “So… I just let her be, for now?”

     “Yes. She needs it, and you need it too. Have some goddamn mercy kid, no one can be as quick on her feet as you.” After Eda’s not-so-ensuring wink, she retreats to her room with the cup of tea King brewed for her, leaving Luz to stare up at the ceiling once again on the couch of the living room.

     School was dull, and that was saying the least of Luz’ observations. Her days went on as usual, classes here, classes there, a bit of bullshit here and more of it over there. Nothing she hasn’t encountered before.

     However, going to the same school means Luz have to deal with seeing Amity around the hallways all the time. She thought she would finally have a chance to talk, but nope— the girl avoided her like a plague. Quite skilled at it too. Her quick turns and extremely agile senses proved further to be more difficult to bypass than Luz initially thought. It doesn’t help that the witch has a wicked sense of smell too. She could recognize Luz’ scent from a mile away.

     Willow and Gus has been rather… blunt with her after learning the news. They held nothing back, honest to God, and Luz liked it that way. She was so sick of lies, and lying that more often blunt and painful honesty was a breath of fresh air. Doesn’t stop her chest from aching and her stomach from plummeting though.

     There was another thing that she observed, and this was one was stranger than the rest. Boscha has been rather… docile. Her recognizable smirks and snickers were no longer the object of people’s nightmares, and the girl reserved herself in the backgrounds mostly. That slap must’ve done wonders, but Luz still wanted to apologize.

     “So… should we make bets on who will approach who first?” Gus sits down at their lunch table with his tray of food and this incredulous idea. Luz was lost in thought, as she has been for these past few days so she did not hear, Willow however sent her friend a disapproving look.

     “What? I’m just trying to lighten the mood!”

     “Let them deal with this in their own time, it’ll eventually get better. You’ll see.”

     Luz’ eyes widen and her slumped posture sits straight as she saw the girl torturing her thoughts walk through the cafeteria door, looking like her usual self. She carried her books with confidence, and kept her stance straight and her chin up. A Blight was still a Blight no matter the emotional baggage.

     If she were feeling anything at all in that moment, Amity was doing an exemplary job at hiding it.

     Willow and Gus notices Luz’ sudden change in mood and follows her gaze, leading them directly to Amity. “If you want to talk to her then just do it.”

     “It’s not about me, Gus. She may not even want to look at me right now— forcing myself on her would be wrong.”

     “So… you’re waiting for her to approach you?”

     Luz stumbles on her words, “uhm well— I… I don’t know what to do to be honest.”

     Then a loud crash— and an impressive string of swear words, and all eyes were on the source of interruption. Even thought-wracked and incredulously distracted Luz Noceda.

     “Watch where you’re going nitwit!” Came Amity’s sharp and ill-intended voice, ringing through the cafeteria’s four walls and non-coincidentally, Luz’ ears. Her attention was grabbed, against her will, but for some reason staring at the girl as she berates a poor soul down, she couldn’t take it back.

     What is this feeling?

     She thought, her dependency on the girl, and feelings of questionable origins, will go away once she has destroyed the false bond they created for months under the protection of the witch’s own personal space.

     Then, she’d stop feeling sorry for herself for being so selfish…

     But dear God, what is this?

     Luz cannot tear her eyes away lest she’d want to invoke Cupid’s wrath. She couldn’t. 

     “Holy shit—“ and that… that was the first time she has ever heard Willow swear before. “She’s really going down on him, someone should probably stop them.”

     “They’re all afraid of Amity, if there’s anybody who could stop them its—“

     Luz did not hesitate to stand up, chair scraping against the floor and a determined look on her face. The very same determination that might blow up at her but she couldn’t care less. It looks like Amity wasn’t as unaffected as she thought— if there’s anybody who deserves her wrath it’s me.

     “I was gonna say Boscha but Luz is an entertaining choice too, I guess,” Gus comments.

     “Luz wait—“ Willow reached out to stop the human, but she was long gone…

     The more Luz steps closer to the source of argument and explanations that fell on deaf ears, the more the conversation become flooded with clarity. Not only did Amity look like she had finally lost it, she also sounded like it…

     “I didn’t see—“

     “You have four fucking eyes, how could you not have possibly seen a literal person in front of you?”

     “Well I wasn’t paying attention—“

     “I’ve had enough of your stupid excuses, if you are going to walk focus on walking!”

     “I’m trying to explain my part of the story here, what more do you want?”

     It’s like a string had snapped within the framework that held Amity’s patience together. Hanging by a thread, and it snapped with ease. It gave her a shock as well, at how it she had let her emotions run rampant like that. Like she was waiting for an excuse to make it happen…Maybe, she was waiting for it to snap—

     “Amity.”

     Amity’s heart froze. The voice, the very same that had blessed her ears for countless nights and at the same time broke her soul not too long ago— it had kissed her hello once again. This time however… this time she was wise enough not to listen to it. She was a fool once, willingly so, and if she were to be a fool again, she’d rather it not be on the same person.

     Luz voice redirected her focus from the poor guy, to the gentle touch of her hand on her shoulder.

     As if she was scalded and burnt by fire, Amity instinctively stepped away from it. Glaring at Luz with all her might— all the might she had left after Luz had drained it all in one go. It hurts. But she kept her gaze, not backing down once. It did not help that Luz looked equally as hurt by the sudden retract of body and emotions…

     “Calm down… everybody’s looking,” Luz begins to explain calmly, bringing her hand down to her sides once it was perfectly made clear Amity wants none of it.

     “Do not touch me, and do not speak to me,” Amity held no malice back to stand by and watch. She was hurt. And she had every right to hurt, although not within reason… although she knew— aware of the debauchery she was committing upon the person of her romantic interest, it appalled her that she was the only one hurting so much. It’s not fair.

     “Okay,” Luz agreed immediately, raising her hand up in submission, “but you have to calm down, please.”

     Most of the time, when you want somebody to calm down, you do not tell them to ‘calm down’. The phrase does wonders in adding fuel to the flame— and it did bring honor to its infamous reputation. Because Amity, in fact, did not settle down. Instead, she was riled up further.

     “How fucking dare you?”

     At this point in time, Luz was starting to lose patience too. Its not an easy task to talk some sense into someone who clearly has no plans in letting anybody convince them of anything, but Luz does the bare minimum and tries.

     “Me?” But alas, you can only try so much until you eventually break down, “look me in the eye and say that again.” Luz insists.

     Amity did not listen. She turned her head away, to avoid the gazes of many that now surrounded them, and the gaze of the one she loved now looking at her strongly through piercing eyes. An Omega that could make her feel all these powerful emotions in one sitting— impressive.

     “Amity, look me in the eye and say that again,” Luz repeats, this time with more stress to every word that she let her lips speak, “I dare you.”

     The Alpha snaps, again. A few more of that snapping and she’d really have nothing left of herself to be prideful of. It would’ve all been shattered to pieces on the ground, but for Luz she gladly does it. She looks up and looks straight at Luz’ chocolate orbs… and she almost hates herself for still thinking it was stunning.

     “Say it.”

     Amity stays silent, not out of choice, but out of fear. Out of fear that her heart will fail her in front of all these people and reveal the deepest darkest desires she held so close to her chest. She fears if she opens her mouth, truth would come stumbling out.

     “Fucking say it.”

     “What else do you want me to say!? I’ve said them all!”

     “No, you haven’t. You’re better than this, Amity, and I believe that will all of my heart.”

     Merciless… still so merciless, and yet Amity’s heart aches for her still. Her touches, her laugh, her wild dreams, and her whispers of comfort. Oh how her days had gone cold and dull without them. Oh how cruel of the world to give her someone she was prepared to love. Someone she was willing to break down into a tiny pieces for…She’s become so pitiful, even the ground would not bother look up at her. She snaps once again, and that’s it. There’s nothing left.

     “Do you really hate me so much as to embarrass me in front of all these people?” Amity’s voice breaks along with what little bit of self-respect she had left.

     Just like that, Luz was pushed out of her emotional state, to gaze around and realize the amount of stares and gossips that revolved around them like a tornado. Trapping them both in… she didn’t realize.

    “Amity that’s not—“

    “Point clear and taken, Luz. Now if you have some pity left, just let me go peacefully…”

     And Luz does… she lets her go.

     But this desire to chase after her, to still be with her— God, the need to be the one to comfort her…

     Is she being selfish at all?

Chapter Text

“ Hell is other People. ”

-Jean-Paul Sartre

     Luz did not care anymore. She really couldn’t care less. Classes be damned— heck, they could expel her for shits and giggles and she still wouldn’t bat an eye. She had one thing on her mind right now, and that one thing? Headed straight to the forest where no one could see.

     She followed after of course. She doubt she’s even being subtle about it, her footsteps could be heard from a mile away just from the difficulty of keeping up with Amity. The girl probably knew, but Luz could tell, like her, she didn’t care anymore.

     Luz didn’t try to speak, lest it just falls on deaf and stubborn ears. She didn’t even try to catch the other witch’s attention, she just calmly follows her through the very familiar trek. Its the same path she had led Amity through the day she admitted… how ironic, and the nerve of her.

     It didn’t take them long at all until they were at the entrance of the den. At that point, when Amity’s feet greets the grass that had cradled her own tears, Luz finally stops. Far enough that it wouldn’t be uncomfortable, but close enough that she could still see the other girl.

     Amity looks up the the rocky ceiling, and the dent infested walls. She sighs.

     “Why did you follow me here?” Came her voice, exasperated and just…done. Done with everything, everyone, but somehow still not done of this human that had hurt her more than anything or anyone ever did.

     “I don’t know…” The honesty both took them by surprise. It was the first time Luz had answered unfiltered words— she felt that it was the best thing to do at the time so she did…

     “Well, you shouldn’t have.”

     “I didn’t mean to offend you earlier— I just wanted you to—“

     Amity faced her, the weight that sat on her brows were heavy, and the tears that picked at her eyes were not subtle enough to ignore. “To embarrass me? In front of the entire student body? What? As revenge!?”

     “No! I don’t intend to do anything like that!”

     “Well you should!” It was hard… looking at the esteemed Alpha all broken and desperate like this. Something so strong, so proud, and yet it took nothing but a few words to break them down. Luz didn’t want to see that.

     “It would make me feel a whole lot better if you were an asshole to me about what I did,” Amity admitted.

     Oh what a tragedy this has become. Truly, Cupid is in tears for his powers were no match for the self-loathing these two have, and their ability to ignore it. Luz did not take a step closer, she didn’t want to impose on a space she knew Amity desperately wanted to cling on to.

     “Why?”

     “Hating you is not an easy job to do…”

     And yet she used to do a better job at it…

     How ironic, and yet Luz does it to her own self so seamlessly. Perfection in all its glory— watered with tears and shattered hope. It takes skill to blame yourself so much.

     A shell of her former glory, Amity closed in on herself, hugged her sides and kept her face from Luz’ view. She did not enter the den nor did she leave it. She just… stood there. Basking under the light of the evening sun— begging for the whoever that controlled it to just burn her to ashes for what she did.

      But maybe, just maybe, she was beyond salvation. That even the depths of hell would not take her…

     Pathetic.

     She had nothing left to lose, and yet she was still afraid.

     Truly Pathetic.

     “I had plans to tell you,” Amity ushered through the weight of her own sins that crushed her, “I didn’t want to keep it from you forever.”

     Luz did not interrupt. She acknowledges the bravery and the guts it took for Amity to open her mouth and finally say these words. So Luz listens, intently, with nothing in her mind but to try and understand the girl and her fears and worries.

     “But you made it so hard…” Amity’s voice breaks in the seams, and she laughs at the tragedy of it all, “you were so kind, and gentle, and caring for me that I— I… I thought if you knew who I was, you’d leave me.”

     “Amity…” Luz lets her name slip, but Amity did not face her still.

     “In a way, I kind of already knew this is how we were going to end up.  I fucking knew, but I don’t— I don’t know what I…” Amity sighs, shaking. She kept her hands close to her sides, perhaps to hide the fact that she was shivering from the intense desire to just drop dead.

     “I don’t know what I expected—“

     “But it doesn’t have to be like that!” This time, Luz finally speaks up, “We can just continue on, like normal. You don’t— you don’t have to hate yourself so much for this.”

     “Practice what you preach.”

     Luz’ breath hitches, “…what?”

     “You’re not the only one who’s observant here. You think I don’t see how much you blame yourself for leaving your mother alone in the human realm!? How you wish so bad to leave but you never do? How you think you’re selfish for wanting to stay?” Amity’s aware— she was sure, she was stepping on dangerous territory, but it was way too late for her to stop.

     Emotions bursting at the seams, words that ravaged them both that fell like waterfall to idle stone— paving and breaking at whatever shell they had left. Hoping that there was a shard of their own soul left.

     Luz’s eyes widened at the assumptions that were painfully accurate, she opened her mouth to speak but no words were brave enough to leave her lips.

     Amity found something within her— it wasn’t brevity nor was it hope, it was desperation. The last attempt she could bare to make at clinging onto something that wasn’t hers— will never be hers…

     The Alpha took two imposing strides towards the human, a mixture of melancholy and hopelessness in the air. She grabbed Luz by the collar of her uniform and forced her to gaze directly at her eyes. To gaze directly at the emptiness of it— the cold, the barren, and the lost.

     “Do not take me for a fool,” Amity speaks slowly, but not soft, “Don’t be coy, Luz. I can crush you with my bare hands, but it’d be a waste when you seem so eager to do it to yourself.”

     Amity clicks her tongue. She was saying too much, she was showing Luz too much. Her faults, her shortcomings, her insecurity— it’s all pouring out of her like snakes that follow a flute’s tune…

     “Why do you think it fair to judge me on my imperfections but shrug and huff at the prospect of yours? Talk to me,” Amity’s voice began to mellow and her grip softens, “You’re not selfish”

      A bundle of warmth wrapped itself around Amity’s wrist, and when the witch looks down, she stares face to face with Luz’s own hands on her own. Not pushing her away, nor gripping hard enough to hurt. She placed it there not to intimidate— but to comfort.

      Why are you so damn good at that?

     “Thank you.”

     Amity’s brows furrows at the odd response. That’s it? She thinks. That’s all she’s going to say?

      “No— you don’t get to do that! That’s hardly—“

     Amity’s breath hitches, words caught in her throat. Her golden eyes follow dutifully at the human’s movement before her, how her eyes softens, how her body went lax, and how her lips—soft and pink— slowly goes down to place an even softer kiss on her fist.

     “Thank you…”

     Electricity traveled the length of Amity’s pale arms straight to the frantic beating of her heart. Like cracks on ice, and holes on old and archaic pavement, Amity watches as Luz’ carefully built walls and mask falls and breaks. How her hand shook, and how her voice breaks— a child, lost, and afraid in a world that’s not her own.

     In that moment, Amity understands, and she understands faithfully… the burden this human girl carry, and the pain she subjects herself through to live with it.

     “We’re a mess, aren’t we?” Amity chuckles out. Desperation now gone from her voice, and in its stead came the touch of compassion. Who knew? Blight and Compassion never came together in a sentence after all.

     “Better a mess with you than perfect with someone else,” Luz smiles… that same sad smile, but now different. There was… there was a glint of hope somewhere in there. A light that bloomed with nothing but it’s own courage.

     Amity sighs. She will probably regret it after, but she pulls the human in and envelops her in a hug. She remembers the day Luz had first attempted it on her. That faithful day with the suppressant potion, and how she flinched like she had been stung by lightning itself.

     This time… this time it was different. It was warm. It was full. It was soothing. How Luz’s body melted perfectly to fit her own, and how her breath ever so graciously brushed against her ear. Her scent, that sweet vanilla, that made it’s place on her heart.

     It feels like home.

     “I still love you,” Amity speaks through hushed tones, a secret told to the wind.

     Luz detaches herself from the hug, but kept her alpha within arms length, her hand stroking gently at the girl’s hand in these indistinguishable patterns. She sighs before she opens to speak.

     “Amity… I think I like you too.”

     At the soft mention of her name, and the possible implications of that statement, Amity’s heart had completely given up and melted into the abyss. But she did not react… Luz seemed hesitant somewhat, and she wonders why.

     “But,” Luz continues, “I don’t know if I can call this love— I’m still… I want to be with you, you feel safe, and warm, and— you’re home.”

      This time, it was Amity to raise her hand to comfort the girl. Her palm nestled comfortably at her cheek as she visibly leans her head against it, satisfied. Amity coos, “It’s okay. You’re okay. We can figure this out together okay? No matter what. I am yours.”

      Odd. It was the first time Amity had ever witnessed an Alpha offering themselves up to the omega, fully and truthfully, head down and at the mercy of heavens. And she would do it a thousands times over if it meant she will be the one to care for this girl before her. If it meant Luz would take her and all her imperfections.

     My love, my life, and my half. Oh how you complete my shattered pieces so, and how we bleed at the jagged edges of each other’s soul. We fit so perfectly together, only because we are broken. And broken we shall only be, to be at the mercy of each other’s smiles.

     “I will protect you,” Luz says— promises, as her lips land ever so fondly at Amity’s forehead, “from everything, even yourself. I will be here, always, annoying you— don’t laugh.”

      Amity barely stifles a chuckle.

      “I said don’t laugh! Great, you ruined the moment. Good luck bringing that back,” Luz rolls her eyes and puffs her lips, arms crossed. Amity laughs harder at the reaction.

      “Stop laughing!”

      “I’m trying!”

      Luz groans. Amity swears she could hear a small ‘fuck it’ under the other girl’s breath before she swoops in and claims the blight’s lips with her own.

      It was soft, it was chaste, and it was quick— but by God did that do an awesome job in shutting the alpha up. And by the Titans she would kill to have the girl’s lips on her own again.

     “Listen to me,” Luz commanded, and Amity’s alpha follows.

     “I care for you. A lot. Okay? Which I think is a lot easier to understand than love, but kind of the same in all aspects.”

     “I like the sound of that better,” Amity smiles shyly, the ghost of that earlier kiss still lingering on her lips.

     “Now we can be as messy and as broken as we want together,” Luz replies in that familiar glint in her eyes.

     “Perfect.”