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It had stayed like that for as long as he could remember.
Even after they’d grown scarcer, those long afternoons of training had been a staple of his routine for the last few years. Regardless of how busy the weeks had become after he and the boys had been inserted in Senguuji’s project, those sessions were the one meeting that had never once been taken off their schedule.
If truth be told, they were more than a simple meeting. If anything, they almost felt like a ritual; a ritual the whole team had always religiously respected. Punctuality, efficiency, and seriousness were the cardinal virtues every player had been taught to follow from the first day, and they had only been broken on very few occasions.
To most, it might have sounded like a tedious task: not to them though. After all, not even boredom could have beaten what they felt while they ran, dribbled, passed and shot: especially for the absolute first time.
The satisfaction pervading their bodies as they kicked the ball to each other was like a cool rush, helping them forget for how long their afternoons had been the same.
Same, but different. That was the feeling he got as he glanced around at his team practicing on the field; well, if that could have been called practicing.
They weren’t actually doing anything more than lazily kicking the ball to each other, or against the gym’s walls; the most daring made an effort at attempting a sloppy tackle, or a dribbling. A group was sitting on a bench, eyeing at their peers with tired, meek eyes.
Gomaki thought of how nobody would have realized who they were, hadn’t it been for their peculiar hair. Assuming their grand entry at the Holy Road finals the month before had been enough to keep them under the limelight…
The boy himself struggled to recognize Dragonlink, the team that used to be the jewel in Fifth Sector’s royal crown, in that sad bunch of apathetic teenagers: the more he looked at them, the more he felt like something was missing.
Oh, who was he kidding: they all perfectly knew what was missing. Or better, who.
“Hey, this is the second week in a row that Yamato doesn’t come to practice, isn’t it?”. He turned around to his fellow defender Gouishi, prompting him to return a resigned stare.
“I guess so?”. The boy started to count on his fingers.
“One, two, three, four…ugh, I can’t even remember the last time we saw him”.
Gomaki sighed.
“It’s ok, you’re not the only one who can’t!”. Goutou’s voice erupted from the corner of the hall. Without leaving his exercise mat, he lifted himself up and laid his back against the wall.
“He really dropped the ball on all of us, huh? Kind of a low move if you ask me. Guess he doesn’t want anything to do with losers”. A hint of bitterness transpired from the forward’s sarcastic tone.
By his side, Shougou let out a small chuckle; Gomaki, on the other hand, had no intention of laughing.
“Don’t say that”, he reprimanded him. “You know that’s nothing like him”.
Goutou grinned. “Aw, that’s cute. How do you know that?”.
“You know, I could ask you the same thing”.
“Tetsurou, please, just let him talk…drama is the last thing we need right now”.
“Is defending your friends ‘drama’ too now?”.
Alarmed, Gouishi attempted to grab him by the arm to stop him: but it was too late.
Around them, a small circle of fellow players was starting to form: it was evident that the perspective of something to finally break the dull atmosphere aroused them.
“’Friends’? That’s rich coming from you. From what I recall Yamato never gave us any reasons to call him a friend, did he?”.
“Even if he didn’t, it doesn’t mean he would have liked to. He just…didn’t have the chance”.
The forward burst out laughing. “He didn’t have the chance?? Oh come on, don’t be ridiculous! He had plenty of opportunities to call us every name he would have wished to. Heck, he could have covered us in insults and nobody would have batted an eye! It’s not like any of us could oppose him anyway…the army never questions their general’s orders, isn’t that so?”.
“But we’re not an army, Goutou! We’re a TEAM! We’re FRIENDS! Have you forgotten it?”.
“Does ‘super soccer army’ ring any bells, Gomaki?”, Shougou mocked him. Some more snickering rose from their audience.
“What a pity…you’re so deep into your bullshit you’re starting to sound like the enemy”.
The enemy. Only one person would have used that word.
For Gomaki, that was the last straw.
“STOP IT! There are no enemies anymore! There are no SEEDs! Why…why is it so hard for you to get over it?!”.
The young man’s cry cut his spectators’ laughter short.
A sudden tension descended on Dragonlink’s players; confused stares darted from one boy to the other, their circle growing even tighter around their peers as each of them turned around to whisper to the teammate closest to them. However, the brawl wasn’t over yet.
“Get over it? You’re the one who should get over himself, Gomaki. Yamato doesn’t care about us; he never has. He just had to play nice because Senguuji was around: and the way he’s acting right now is just the proof we needed”.
The forward took a step in the defender’s direction, and aggressively pointed his finger to his face. Gomaki gazed into his snake-like eyes: never before had he seen him that livid.
“You think you’re the queen, Gomaki; that’s what those two told you. But guess what, you’re no less of a pawn than us: and we let your friend Yamato and his daddy dearest play us like the dumb pieces we were!”.
On hearing those words, the whole hall went dead silent.
Around them, the two saw their teammates standing frozen, mouths agape and eyes wide open, fixed on them. It looked as if a bomb had just fallen through the roof and dropped right in the middle of the gym, right where the two boys had stopped fighting as their fellow players stared at them in shock.
The realization of what Goutou had just said started to sink in for him too. Red in the face, he turned to face Gomaki again: but the defender had already turned his back on him and started to walk towards the changing rooms.
“The training session is off for today. Y’all can go home”.
“B-but-…HEY! I-I didn’t mean to-”.
He didn’t answer.
“Tetsurou?”. Gouishi called to his friend, uncertain.
“Just go already. I’ll stay behind and clean the gym. And no, I don’t need your help”.
Some more whispers echoed in the hall; yet, the boys didn’t dare protesting. Obedient as always, they joined in, following him away from what once used to be their favourite training ground.
Staying behind, Gouishi and Goutou exchanged a tense look.
“I…I’m sorry…I swear I didn’t mean to…”.
“Doesn’t matter”. Gouishi bowed his head, defeated. “It’s not me you should be apologizing to. But I guess from now on you’ll have…lots of time to reflect on what excuses to give”.
Goutou wanted to ask for an explanation; but the sinking pit in his stomach made it clear to him that he already knew the answer.
***
It was no use. No matter how hard he tried to tuck his head deeper and deeper under the bedsheets, it just wasn’t enough to drown the sound out.
“Yamato!!! Your phone!”. Gouenji’s voice echoed from the stairwell, as the pattering of his feet running up the steps approached.
“Ugh…WHO IS IT?!” he shouted in return, grudgingly getting up from the mattress. He rubbed his aching forehead, looking at the young man standing by his bedroom door.
“It’s…”. He checked the name on the phone screen. “…Gomaki. Isn’t he that friend you always used to tell us about-“.
“Give me that!”. Yamato’s order cut him off.
Grimacing, Gouenji handed him the cell phone, before leaving the bedroom with a sigh. The boy groaned and lifted it to his ear.
“H…hello?”.
“Yamato!”. Gomaki’s usual affectionate tone welcomed him from the other end of the call. “Oh boy, it’s been so long! I honestly thought you wouldn’t have answered, you know?”.
“Yeah…”. Yamato tittered, twisting a lock of hair around his finger.
“So…how’s life going?”. Gomaki hesitated.
“The usual. There’s not much to do now that my father isn’t around anymore…”. He glanced at the closed door, pensive. “Don’t get me wrong, Gouenji is trying his best to adjust to it too: I mean, it must be tricky to be left alone with your lover’s kid with whom you never really got along…do you get what I’m saying?”.
“Hm-hm”.
Gomaki would have wanted to laugh to himself, looking back to all the times Yamato had nagged about ‘his father’s new toy-boy’; but a low sigh from his friend immediately brushed the idea away from his mind.
“You know, I always thought they never had true feelings for each other. But sometimes, I look into his eyes and I have the impression that he…misses him too”.
Even through the phone, the melancholy in his voice as he pronounced those words was perfectly palpable.
“I bet he can’t wait for the prison to allow visits again either…four weeks is a much longer time than it seems”.
Those words seemed to strike a chord into Gomaki’s heart; and how couldn’t they?
The day Daigo Senguuji was arrested had been one of the most utterly painful for the whole of Dragonlink: seeing that man, the one man who had seen some worth in them and gave them the chance of finding a purpose for themselves, looking back at them with a resigned smile on his lips, and then docilly bowing his head as he let those two policemen lead him away in handcuffs, was an image so harrowing many of them still couldn’t erase it from their mind. Knowing how much their hearts still ached, he could hardly imagine what his own son must had been feeling…
“But it’s fine!! He did get what he deserves, right? That’s what he gets after all the crap he and the other fellows from Fifth Sector have allowed through all these years…y’know?”
It took a while for Gomaki to let that phrase register in his mind.
Did he…did he really just say that?
“But enough talking about me, alright?? How’s the team doing?”.
And why was he changing topic all of a sudden?!
“O-oh, w-we…”. He scrambled trying to find the right words. “We…called off the training sessions”.
No answers.
Gomaki grew even more confused. He was already waiting for at least a “WHAT?! But everybody loved those!”…that was the least he could expect from Yamato, after all the time they’d known each other!
“There was a…”, he kept on explaining. “An accident. Today. While we were training. And we, uh…we thought it would have been best to let go for a while. Maybe…two weeks? We all need some time off after all, am I right?”.
Another long pause followed, until Yamato broke the silence with a huff.
“Well, if that was the case…”.
The coldness in his words only concerned Gomaki further.
“I’m still glad to hear you’re not slacking off, though. You must have had quite the intensive training to need such a break! You perfectly deserve it…but I know you will succeed, even without a captain! You really are a perfect team…that’s what dad used to say, remember?”.
Yamato rested his hand against his chin, and took a deep breath.
“Actually… I feel like you’re much better off without me”.
All right. That was enough.
“Yamato?”
“…yes?”
“You don’t really mean it, do you?”.
He pretended not to understand. “What are you talking about?”.
“Come on...the stuff you said about yourself. And about your dad”.
The team captain chuckled.
“And even if I did? Would that change anything?”
“It’s just that…”. The two paused, as if to let their emotions settle down for some seconds. Then finally, Gomaki took the word.
“I wouldn’t feel as bad if I knew it was all a joke”.
As soon as he finished speaking, that same, terrible silence descended between the two of them again.
“…a joke?”.
The tone in his voice sent a shiver down Gomaki’s spine. Before he had the chance to reconsider what he had just said, Yamato’s scream cut him off.
“A JOKE?! DO I SOUND LIKE I’M HAVING FUN, TETSUROU?!”.
The defender pulled the phone away for a moment: he could feel his ears ringing, and his heart racing in his chest.
“I-I didn’t mean it like that-“, he stuttered.
“Oh yeah?? What DID you mean, then? That I shouldn’t feel sorry for having my dad thrown into the fucking slammer??”.
“N-no, I- “.
“Or maybe that I should just go back to the team like nothing happened, huh?! That I should pretend everything is fine and dandy just because you’re lucky you weren’t thrown into some orphanage? Well guess what, you ARE lucky: lucky that you’re not ever seeing my face again! Ah yes, no more Fifth Sector, no more Dragonlink, no more Senguujis…don’t you feel relieved? You finally got this weigh off your shoulders!”.
“Wait, Yamato, listen! You weren’t a-“.
“NO, YOU LISTEN! I’M SICK AND TIRED OF PEOPLE TELLING ME HOW I SHOULD FEEL!”.
It was hopeless. Yamato’s rage was spilling out of his body like a racing flood, and Gomaki was right in its way, completely paralyzed as he struggled not to let himself get swept away by it.
“From the first day the team was formed, I’ve been nothing but a pain in the neck to you…I was the one who constantly had to put you in line, force you through hours on hours of training, punish you, stomp out every tiniest hint of rebellion…and for what? Just so that my father could use us as pawns in his stupid power games!”.
Hot tears started running down Yamato’s cheeks.
“And you know what? Don’t even bother convincing the team to take me back… being free from the stupid little brat who did nothing but make you suffer for the sake of his father’s delusions is the happiest ending you could get…”.
“N-no…”. Gomaki stammered, struggling to reason with his friend.
“Please…we already lost Senguuji-sama; if we lose you too, we’ll be done for. The team is nothing without a captain…just as there’s no chess game without a king, right? That’s what he would tell- “.
“DON’T YOU FUCKING GIVE ME ANY OF MY FATHER’S CRAP!”. No matter how intense, the anger in Yamato’s tone could barely hide a deep sadness.
““I’M NOT YOUR CAPTAIN ANYMORE! I’m not a KING! I’m nothing but…an impostor! I failed you, I failed my father, I failed you all…and now, I’m even failing myself…”.
His voice got quieter, almost a whisper; until finally, Yamato broke down in sobs.
Gomaki felt his stomach sinking: hearing his friend sniffle and pointlessly fight to send back his tears left him at a complete loss for words. To say he was ashamed of himself would be an understatement; and yet, he still didn’t want to give up.
He had to make things right, one way or the other. Not only for Yamato, but for the whole team too.
“Yamato…maybe you don’t want to listen. I get that, I swear I do…but that doesn’t give you an excuse to keep all this pain to yourself”.
The weeping on the other end of the call seemed to quiet down.
“Your father didn’t do the best of things, we all know it. There’s no need to go back to it. And still…he accepted his mistakes. And in a way, he got a chance to fix them…even if it was the worst possible one”.
Gomaki bit his lip, as he carefully weighed the words in his head.
“I don’t want to…tell you how to feel. You’re free to be angry at him. Hell, you can even hate him if you want. But just because you don’t want to give him a second chance right now…that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take one for yourself. We’re not pawns, Yamato. At least, not regular ones. When we fall, we still have a second chance to join the game; and if we don’t stick together, it only makes it harder. It won’t be easy, I know…but it’s still worth the try”.
Despite the strange stinging sensation filling his nose and eyes, with every word he said he felt the knot in his throat loosening up.
“You didn’t fail us. And neither did your father. We all simply have our own big and small mistakes to amend to; and as long as we stay strong for each other, I bet we still can make it right”.
He stopped: Yamato was not saying anything. Yet, his silence didn’t seem as scary as before; Gomaki could almost see him sitting on his bed, a million thoughts rushing through his brain as he kept trying to talk him down.
Then, a voice. A whisper, almost.
“Tetsurou…”
“Yes?”.
“You…”. Yamato sniffled again. “…you won’t leave me too, right?”.
The defender smiled, pushing back his own tears.
“Hell no I won’t. No matter how hard the match gets, the queen always stands up for her king: and until she falls, the king knows she’ll be protecting him, however powerful the enemy is”.
The boy’s eyes swelled up again. His vision got blurry, his breathing heavy; and yet, his heart felt lighter.
“Well…I think it’s time to say goodbye for today”. The defender glanced away, sorrow and relief mixing in his eyes. “See you soon, Yamato. Whenever you need me, I’ll be there for you”.
“Thank you, Tetsurou …thank you for everything”.
“That’s the least I can do, captain”.
The sound of a muffled laugh reached Gomaki through the phone.
The captain’s lips curled into a sad smile, as the called closed with a ding.
“…see you soon too, Tetsurou”.
Yamato sat motionless for what felt like forever, the phone still clutched firmly in his hands, the call summary still on the screen.
His head felt light, his cheeks were flushed, his throat stung. But he was happy. So happy, he didn’t even hear the knock on the door.
“Yamato-kun…?”.
He raised his head: to his surprise, Gouenji was standing there, a hint of sadness on his usually impassive face.
“G…Gouenji? What-“.
He couldn’t finish: before he had the time to ask, his caretaker threw his arms around his neck, holding him close to himself. A sudden warmth spread through his body, as Gouenji wrapped him in his embrace; a warmth he hadn’t felt in a long time.
“G…Gouenji…did you…”.
“Yes”. The man laid his hand on the boy’s head, leaning it against his shoulder. “I heard everything”.
Yamato’s throat tightened. Another flurry of words was urging to get out: cries, pleas, apologies for having treated him so roughly, for bottling everything up, for pushing him away.
And still, it didn’t matter anymore. At long last, he could let his tears flow freely, sinking his head into the nook of Gouenji’s neck; the two huddled, no words spoken, while an evening breeze blew through the open window almost as if to comfort them.
“He’d be so proud of you, Yamato”.