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Blood Soaked Violets

Summary:

Remus hates his body sometimes, recently he hasn’t hated it as much, but his body appears to be trying to make him hat it once again. Will Janus see it that way?

Work Text:

Remus hugged his stomach as he was on the couch.

Why of all days did I have to get period cramps today?

Remus cringed at a stabbing sensation in his gut, his lungs scarcely able to take in oxygen as his body rebelled against the pain. He screwed his eyes shut involuntarily, his limbs spasming slightly.

In the background, the TV was droning on with a cartoon snake hiding in a field of sunflowers from a hawk. But Remus wasn’t paying attention to the TV, his cramps weren’t allowing him to focus on anything other than huddling on his couch and praying his boyfriend came home soon.

Remus’s eyes shot open.

His boyfriend. He could call his boyfriend to get something for the cramps, because he wasn’t sure they had anything strong enough to ease the rolling pain in his abdomen.

Remus fumbled for his phone, which had somehow found it’s way under his huddled form. His hand’s shook as he navigated to his boyfriend’s contact, the screen blurring as Remus pushed the call button, crying out softly as another cramp rolled through him.

Remus thought the sound of the call tone would be comforting, a reminder that help was on the way, but all it did was bring tears to his eyes as why couldn’t he have help now? his body was all but telling him he was dying.

One call tone, two call tones, three call tones...

Another wave of tears began to build in Remus’s eyes as the 7th call tone sounded, but that one was interrupted by the sweet sound of the call picking up. Remus almost wept (for the 5th time that afternoon) in relief.

Remus gave his boyfriend no time to speak, the pain making him feel he was in no position to dilly dally even if it was rude. Thomas was his boyfriend, he could deal with a little rudeness.

“There you are fucker. I need the good stuff, it’s come a little early this month. I didn’t expect to need it, but it’s hit full force can you-?”

A voice that was distinctly not Thomas’s interrupted Remus’s ramble, causing Remus to nearly drop his phone as he straightened up in shock, biting his lip to try not to cry out into the phone at his muscles protest of the sudden movement.

“Wrong number.”

There was a loud clatter and a muffled curse, and Remus was about to ask the apparent stranger if they were when something struck Remus, Remus opening his mouth to ask-

The dial tone blared in his ear the moment he went to speak, signaling the person had immediately hung up. But Remus... knew that voice...

Remus brought his phone away from his ear, checking the Caller ID to confirm his suspicions. 

“Jan-Jan❤️️“ it read.

Remus’s heart jumped, his eyes staring at the ID as he finally pressed the end call button. His phone faded back onto his lock screen, where Remus had a picture of him and his boyfriend Thomas at the park, back in college.

Jan-Jan took that picture... I- Wait!

Remus stood up suddenly, crying out in pain and dropping to his knee in protest. He bit his knuckle to bit back more cries as the shockwaves of the sudden movement still powered through his body.

I gave him the wrong impression, he probably thinks I’m a drug dealer or something, though it’s not like I wasn’t doing similarly shady shit in college, but after over a year I just straight up call?! Fuck!

Remus quickly opened his phone, nearly dropping his phone in his haste to do so. It opened to what was clearly Janus’s contact.  He had been too overwhelmed with pain to notice he had selected the wrong contact it appeared. 

Remus gritted his teeth, half tempted to call Janus right back, to try to explain, but with his finger over the call button once more, he hesitated. 

I can’t just call him back! He’s not going to pick up again after the impression I just made, I-

Remus’s thoughts blanked as a cramp gripped his abdomen, his breathing labored when coherent thought was completely possible again. 

I’ll... call Thomas, he’ll know what to do, he always knows what to do.

Remus scrolled up one contact to ‘My Tank Engine Choo Choo!’, marveling at how close Thomas and Janus’s contacts were to each other.

No wonder I accidentally called him.

Remus pressed his phone to his ear as he pushed the call button on his intended caller. This time, there was only 4 call tones before Thomas picked right as an unfortunate cramp gripped Remus’s, taking Remus’s breath away.

“Remus? You okay?” Thomas’s voice came through the phone, and Remus’s eyebrows furrowed as he hadn’t even gotten the chance to speak yet and yet Thomas knew something was up.

“Oh, I’m just peachy. I’m having a bit of dysphoria from my unuterus reminding me of how I lived for the first 2 decades of my life, but other than that I’m fine.”

Through the phone, Thomas breathed in sharply through his teeth.

“Oh, shoot. I guess you didn’t think you were going to have one again? You haven’t had a period for a while, so I’m just as suprised as you”

Remus whimpered, nodding his head before he paused, opening his mouth to reply verbally for Thomas.

“I’ll take that as a yes. You want me to get the strong stuff right?”

“Ri-IGHT!” Remus’s voice hitched, a painful stab catching him off guard.

“Okay I’ll go do tha-”

“WAIT!” Remus yelled into the phone, the mental image of Thomas flinching away from the phone at his outburst, but the pain didn’t leave him much self control.

Thomas spoke again, slowly, “Do you... want me to get you a new heating pad?”

“No! Well... that would be nice, but... I accidentally called Jan and... I think I fucked up? I wasn’t paying attention and I think he thinks I’m a druggie? We haven’t talked in a year and I just don’t know if I-”

“Remus, breathe, it’s alright honey bear.”

Remus’s eyes widened as he shook his head, Thomas’s voice helping pull Remus’s mind back to what was happening in the present. Remus’s breathing was coming in big whooping gasps all of a sudden, and Remus slowly brought himself down, his hands still shaking but he was calmer.

Thomas waited for Remus’s breathing to settle, humming softly in the way Remus liked before he finally replied.

“I’ll try to call him my dear one, don’t you worry your handsome little hand about it.” 

Remus muttered, “Isn’t the saying ‘your pretty little head?’”

Thomas’s warm chuckle reverberated through the speaker, some of that warmth pooling in Remus’s gut, but Remus was having none of that, thinking of other more innocent things to keep himself from getting worked up. He was already a horny bastard even off his period, but he couldn’t afford that right now.

“You’re my handsome boyfriend, stink butt, remember?”

Remus snorted, “Heh, butts. But yeah, I remember.”

So much for not thinking about that kind of stuff. Hngh. Ce la vie, I guess.

“Well your handsome boyfriend is going to clear everything right up...”

Thomas trailed off, and Remus could tell exactly what he was thinking.

“Do you think he-?

“I don’t know, but one can hope.”

A silence fell between them, full of things not said that didn’t need to be said. Remus let the silence linger a bit longer than unsual before he sent Thomas off with a “Well, good luck. Love you.”

Thomas’s voice was said clearly with a sad sort of smile, “I love you too, stink butt.”

“I love you more...”

-

“I love you most...” Janus whispered, a single tear rolling down his face as he laid the single full violet flower down on the bed, his phone nearby with the same lock screen picture of Thomas and Remus on his lock screen. 

A single drop of blood rolled down the flower it like a tear of it’s own, Janus wiping the lightest bit of red from his mouth, biting down another cough that was already beginning to gather in his lungs.

And Janus wept.

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