Chapter Text
Numbness clouded her consciousness as she forced her lids open, letting her arm drop on the tortuous beeping of her alarm clock.
Another day...
Smothered by the heavy blanket and still within the grasp of sleep's claws, (y/n) (l/n) didn't even so much as care as to expose herself to the freezing air of her room. If it all went according to her, she would just keep on lying there, close her eyes... and just never stand up again. It would do her best, not having to clumsily struggle with putting up her smiling mask and politely utter a 'thank you' or 'I appreciate it' around the lump in her throat when another few people expressed their condolences.
If anything, these 'condolences' were empty words. (y/n) knew each and everyone didn't even mean it, and how could they? They would never understand what it is like to lose a part of oneself, to lose that one person that was never meant to be separated from them, ever.
Icy blue eyes blanky stared up the ceiling, now unfortunately completely awake despite that emptiness pounding in place of where other humans claimed their heart was. Indifference poured out of it like black ichor, filling up the gaping chasms Touko had left behind. There was no trying to replace her, never. No one could ever take her place in (y/n)'s heart. She had been the other half of her soul, not just a replica of her looks. Although they didn't look that much alike. But how to make humanity understand that her twin sister and she had been so connected that forcing her to live on without her was daily torture? None of these imbeciles ever got what (y/n) said, not even her mother. She had screamed at her, tears littering onto the light brown wooden floorboards, yet even when her voice cracked, faded away or broke, her anger never truly reached (y/n). How she could dare to say such a thing, she had forced out between hiccups, how she could not see that she was sad, too, and the thought of losing her, too was-
(y/n) never got to hear what that thought was like. She would have liked to know, and if it was just to connect to her in any way. Despite she had never been too outspoken, she had always loved her mother, especially after her father had disappeared into nothingness at her age of 5. Up to the point her mother had started to put up a smile again after Touko's death, (y/n) had held nothing but marvel for her, since she had cared for her and her sister alone ever since. But now, that she was all happy again, (y/n) simply didn't know how to even look at her. Not even now, three months after the incident.
Forcing the blanket off her, she sat up, gaze dropping to the far wall where Touko's bed stood. Even after her mother had her pack and moved with her to Nuvema Town in the Unova Region, (y/n) managed to convince her mother to let her move with them. No matter if her mother wanted her to think about something, anything else, (y/n) would never just forget about Touko.
What life here would be like with her around, she wondered. Brighter, for sure. Less dull and boring, (y/n) was sure of it. But she would never find out, unfortunately.
"Kyuu?"
An all too familiar, pale yellow plush head poked itself over the edge of (y/n)'s bed, tilting at the sight of her. It were one of the few moments (y/n) would actually smile, a bit of warmth melting the otherwise ice-cold surface: Whenever she was with Pokémon.
"Good morning, Mimikyu. Did you sleep well?"
Curling a finger under his tiny, black claws that had delved into her bedding, she helped the Pokémon up the bed, who squeaked giddily upon the feeling he could fly. Settling comfortably in (y/n)'s cushion, he peered up her tired, but genuinely smiling face, framed by ruffled, liquorice black locks messily falling to meet her shoulders. And her smile turned just a bit sweeter as he answered.
"Kyu!"
"That's nice to hear."
It wasn't that (y/n) could actually understand what Mimikyu told her. Though she wished she did, even more than just understanding humans. But ever since her birth, (y/n) had been blessed with the special ability of sensing any pokémon's emotion. She first shrugged it off as empathy, yet her stay in Alola and Kanto had shown her there was more to it. Abroad, people spoke of the 'Poké-Witch' or 'Pokémon Whisperer', when referring to her. Because not only could she feel their emotions as though they were her own, she could make them feel her own, too, connecting her thoughts with theirs. That was why she felt so at home around Pokémon, even if she had never met them before. She was understood and acknowledged, whereas with humans...
Witch!
Pull your wretched schemes elsewhere!
So what if you can draw nicely? No one cares!
So (y/n) had decided not to care anymore, either.
"Is Mareanie awake, too?"
"Kyu-Kyu!"
"Oh, really? ...Well, then I better hurry up and rise, too, hm?"
Pushing off the soft mattress, she meandered to the closet while lolling towards the ceiling with a jaw-cracking yawn, fatigue slipping off her like silky cloth. She had to keep moving, somehow. If not for herself, then at least for the Pokémon that had not left her side, not even when she had released them. And so long that they were there, (y/n) would find comfort, eventually. She told that to herself, every day anew. By now, she probably owed her life to these Pokémon.
Short after, she was done dressing and combing the untamable monster atop her head she called hair, her mother's voice rang through the yet shut door, followed up by three, timidly pounding knocks against the dark wood.
"...(y/n), honey? Breakfast is ready. Will you join Sneasel and I?"
The honeyed tone in her mothers voice turned (y/n)'s stomach inside out, so much it was hard to not pull a face as she opened the door, fixating some spot behind her as she answered. Emptiness abound her voice and eyes as she stared blankly forward, finding herself unable to look straight at her.
"I'm coming."
That feeling was unnatural, wasn't it? At least, so did all these psycho doctors say that had examined (y/n) after the incident. They couldn't explain why she refused to bond with her mother, the only 'family' she had left, to use their words. She should feel warm and sheltered with her mother around, they said, it was completely normal to try and move on and that that was nothing bad, they said. (y/n) wanted to puke at their ignorance.
"That's nice. Oh, by the way, I have invited Cheren and Bel over for later. You know, the neighbours' children? They were very eager to finally get to know you and all."
"Mhm."
(y/n)' eyes trailed off, feeling somewhat helpless. She simply had nothing to tell her. And whether she met these Cheren and Bel or not wasn't important, either. They weren't Pokémon. They would never understand her the way they did.
"Please, cheer up a little. I thought it'd do you good to not sit around alone anymore. I'm worried about you, you know? You rarely smile, if even, and you yet didn't go out to meet anyone here, despite we're already living here for two and a half months."
Why can't you be normal?
She didn't speak it out, but (y/n) knew exactly that that was what she actually meant. Although she was trying to hide it behind comforting words and sickeningly sweet smiles, she knew that was what her mother truly thought of her. Normal teenagers her age would go out and attend wild parties or battle trainers with Pokémon, paying absolutely no heed to the injuries they are causing. And (y/n) hated both from the depths of her broken, rotten heart.
"I'll be nice to them." Was everything she could utter to reassure her mother a little bit without lying outright to her. That she deemed her alone while she actually had Mimikyu and Mareanie made her stomach churn with anger, but not enough to change the void expression on her face. Her mother smiled, (y/n) noticed at the corner of her eye, and once her hand found her shoulder, she froze up, not quite able to find anything nice in the next spoken words.
"Thank you, (y/n). I'll be waiting downstairs then, alright?"
Nodding, more out of the wish she would let go of her if she did than actually having listened, (y/n) watched her mother disappear behind the corner of the hallway.
"Mar-Mar."
Yet once Mareanie toddled into her view, and she felt Mimikyu's claws latching at her shoulders to pull himself up and rest like a koala against her back, all that uneasiess fell off her in an instant. The Pokémon's inquisitive glance coupled with that mocking notion in her voice made (y/n) shove her hands onto her hips.
"I know I look like a mess. No need to tell me, Mareanie."
"Kyuhuhu~"
As she heard Mimikyu saw it the exact same way as Mareanie did, her shoulders slumped defeatedly, before she lashed out for the Pokémon on her back, chasing both around her room.
"Why you... I'll get you this time, just you see!"
Squeaking bubbly, they were fast to clamber away, laughing as though they had the time of their lives.
"Marnieeeeeeee!"
"Miiiii!"
They were so out of themselves, having fun while being chased, (y/n) soon couldn't help but fall into their laughing, too. Even as they three toppled over and fell onto the fluffy carpet, wide smiles were on each of their faces.
Why couldn't it be just as easy with her mother, too? These Pokémon knew exactly what (y/n) needed to cheer up, they didn't make as many stupid assumptions...
As her grin faltered just the tiniest bit, that didn't go unnoticed by her friends.
"Kyu!"
The impact took her off guard and with a comical yelp she was sent to the ground, her arms flailing uselessly around.
"Mareaniee!"
The Pokémon nuzzled into her form, holding her tight to themselves, cradling her with such tender care a subtle warmth emanated from the empty hole within her chest.
Don't worry, we'll always be there for you.
We won't ever leave you alone, (y/n)!
Might have been their words, but that, at least, was what the girl read in their emotions. And nothing, not even chocolate or cookies, could have made her happier, so much she still was able to feel that emotion. Winding her arms around them, too, she felt a lot more at home, smiling although her facial muscles already hurt at the unusual amount of encroachment. Her voice was a weak, tender whisper, and if they hadn't been so close, it would have gone completely unheard.
"Thank you."
Delving in their warmth just a tiny bit longer, she really, really didn't want to let go, a sigh slipped past her lips as she did nonetheless, climbing back up to her feet.
"Well, I better go eat breakfast, hm?"
Though she couldn't have much less appetite right now. Well, but eating was better than having to think about how to introduce herself to Cheren and Bel, so she, reluctantly, made her way downstairs where her mother was waiting.
However, her mother was not the only one lurking there. Having noticed the silently creaking, smoothly pounding steps on the wooden staircase, a woman in a spotless white lab coat who had been gleefully conversing with her mother, turned the girl's way, gleaming brightly at her. In fact, her smile was close to blinding, thwacking (y/n)'s unsure heart and making her shoulders jump to graze her ears at the enthusiasm in the stranger's voice.
"Aaah! So you must be (y/n) I heard so much about! It's nice to finally meet you in person!"
Heard so much about? (y/n)'s heartbeat was a stuttering mess and her eyes darted to her mother, pleading for explanation, but she only knowingly smiled back. She grinned with such smugness and shrugged with not a care in the world it only contributed to the girl's confusion, her brows pinching warily. Was she another of these psychologists her mother forced her to talk with? She did look like one of them, with the tight green skirt, white shirt and red, rectangular earrings, but the way she carried herself didn't seem just as creepily prying as them. It was more like genuine interest, which only confused (y/n) even more.
"... I'm sorry, do I know you?"
The chuckle startled from the stranger's throat was close to making the girl flinch again, the woman's green eyes alight with amusement. Honey brown hair played around her face as the woman shook her head gleefully, never losing that bright smile as she began to speak anew. Her voice was warm, (y/n) had to notice, mellow in a way, ringing clearly through the tension as though she didn't even notice it was there.
"Probably not, no. So let me introduce myself, yes?"
Her mother nodded eagerly as though prompting her with what to do next, while the girl's eyes wandered over her shoulder where they caught sight of her Pokémon friends, who waddled up to her to stand by her side. Once rejoined with them, the girl inclined her head politely, a bit of the nauseating pressure of social interaction taken off her stomach by the mere consoling presence of the ones who truly understood her.
"Go on ahead."
It was weird. That woman didn't know her at all, yet she was beaming from ear to ear as though the girl was the sun on the grey horizon, energizedly lifting her hand to wave at her.
"I am Professor Aurea Juniper, this region's local Pokémon Professor! I have dedicated my life to researching Pokémon potential and wildlife and am happy to meet you, (y/n)!"
A Pokémon professor, huh?
(y/n) slowly descended the stairs with Mimikyu on her back yet again and Mareanie at her side, careful eyes closely studying her face.
"Professor Juniper, I see. Nice to meet you too."
Politely, the girl repeated these words of hollow meaning, well knowing that was what was expected from her. Though actually, she was not too happy to meet her. Pokémon Professors, no matter in what region, mostly are the ones gifting Pokémon to children to have them battle and take on the gym challenge. Although the girl was not opposed to researching Pokémon, she did mind the invention of Pokéballs these Professors had made. These nasty entraptions to catch Pokémon out of their natural habitat, ripping them from their families and friends and enslaving them to do their trainer's bidding... They were initiators to so much suffering and so many injuries it was hard for (y/n) to maintain a kind facade.
"What leads you here?"
"Now, now, don't be so rude, (y/n). Don't you want to introduce yourself first?"
The tone in her mother's voice was a warning not to mess this up, though she made it sound like a friendly scolding. That the professor was here must be one great happening for her, (y/n) concluded, yet still, she couldn't find a good reason to follow her mother's request. The girl arched her brows.
"Why should I? The Professor knows my name already, whyever that is, and there is not much more to put in an introduction than this."
Huffing approvingly, Mimikyu's hold on his friend tightened and Mareanie giggled upon the blank indifference in the girl's voice, which made her mother's face drop in a disbelieving, indignant gasp.
"(y/n)!"
But the professor only chuckled, fluffy hair jumping at that tiniest motion, gleaming back at both mother and daughter.
"Well, she has a point. No need to be upset, Mio-san. I don't think it's necessary to repeat facts either, so it's fine."
Then, sparkling green eyes fixating on (y/n) with such intensity she almost had to bristle, the Professor smiled yet again.
"To what precisely leads me here, we can come later. Let's eat first. Your mother was so kind to invite me over for breakfast, so I think we should, then. I'm starving!"