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Miya Atsumu: Alone

Summary:

What if, Osamu was never there?

Written for #MiyaTwinsWeek: Day 4

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Atsumu was five years old when it happened.

He was at his grandparents’ from his mom side when he was playing around the river and slipped his legs into a mud of dead leaves and small tree branches. He cried when he has dirt all over his hands, some of them stucked in his nails and a has a long cut that stretches across his legs, he should have sulked in his bedroom than going out this far just because his granny scolded him for taking the final slice of watermelon.

Atsumu cries loudly when he sees his blood mix with the slight dirt on the glowing red scratch. After several minutes of crying and trying his best to reach to the flowing water from the river, a kid of the same age as his approached him. He didn’t know where the boy came from.

The boy pulls Atsumu’s leg gently, dipped his hands in the water and proceeded to rub gently on the dirt and on the scratch. Atsumu stopped crying by then, when the familiar pain is gone he pulls his leg away from the boy.

“Wh-who are ya?” Atsumu hiccupped while trying to look at the boy. The boy turned to look at Atsumu. “I’m no one. Yer okay now.” The boy pats on his shoulder and walked away. Atsumu was shocked at the way the boy has the same features as his. So he called out.

“Why do ya look like me?” the boy stopped walking and turned around to look at him. “Heh, no I’m not!” Atsumu’s mouth gaped open. The boy sighed. He walked towards Atsumu who’s still dirty and messy from the fall while he wears a white t-shirt and a white pair of shorts. “Cmon, let’s get ya home.” The boy took Atsumu’s hand in his and walked him out of the forest.

When Atsumu reached at the gate of his granny’s house, he cries again. The loud cries made his Ma and Granny storm outside to the crying noise. His mother wasted no time to lift him up and hug him tightly, mumbling so many apologies for making him upset. Granny on the other hand was still scolding him for creating troubles. Once the three of them gets inside and Atsumu sniffles silently while his mother cleans up the remaining dirt that has dried up on his legs, Granny asked.

“Sumu-chan, how did ya get here alone? Were ya lost?” Atsumu looks out the window as he finally remembered that he got here because the boy helped him. “Sumu?” Granny calls out again. “Doesn’t matter now, as long as yer safe, okay? Let’s get ya cleaned up.” Atsumu held his mother’s hands and walked to the bathroom, head still thinking about the boy dressed in all white.

Atsumu was told by his parents and grandparents to always ask for people’s names, so whenever they did a good deed to us, we can have their names in prayers as an act of gratefulness. Unfortunately, Atsumu doesn’t have his name, so he can’t do that. He made sure that he will ask for his name the next time he sees him again.

Atsumu can’t tell his parents about the boy, so there’s no excuses for him to stay at his granny’s house which means, he no longer has the chance to see him again. He got sad so the entire time so he sulked the entire ride home. Maybe he can see him again when during his granny’s birthday or during the New Years, maybe.

  A month later, Atsumu begged his mother to get back to granny’s house with the intention to see the old lady. It was partially true but another thing he didn’t tell his mom is that he just want to get back to see the boy from before and ask him some questions as to why he helped Atsumu the other day, and what his name is. Just something to remember him by.

His mother listened of course, anything for his only son, she said. When the car stopped Atsumu stormed out of the car and ran towards his granny to give her a hug and receive a peck on the cheek by the lady. He wasted no time to put his bag in his room and runs out to the forest again, with promises that he will get back by the time the sun sets. His parents are worried but Granny reminded them that somewhere out there someone was there to protect him. They believed in the power of their ancestors.

The forest near his granny’s house is beautiful. From the rows of trees that barely prevents the sun from shining on the soil to the peaceful flow of water in the river. Atsumu smiles a lot that day, he loves the particular shine on the water surface and he loves seeing his reflection on the water. When he was smiling to his reflection, another set of the same face of his appear next to him, and he knows it’s that mysterious boy.

“It’s...it’s ya!” the boy chuckled. “Atsumu jolted backwards making his butt touches the ground. The boy, still in the same shirt and pants he was in from a month before, stretched his hand out to help Atsumu get up. Atsumu took his hands and got up, brushing away the dirt that got stucked to his clothed butt.

“Um...mama told me to say thank you...to ya...for the other day.” Atsumu looks down and fiddles with his fingers. “Your welcome...but if yer really thankful...can we be friends?” Atsumu lights up at that. “Of course! That way we can play all day!” both of them were giggling and the boy pulls Atsumu’s hands and ran off to a place, deeper inside the forest.

The routine goes like that, the entire week Atsumu spends his time at his granny’s. Atsumu promised the boy to not tell anyone about him, even to his mother and Atsumu, being a good boy he is, didn’t tell anyone.

“Nothin’, wuz playin’ wi’ a fo- cats in the forest” Atsumu gobbles down the onigiri and run to the forest with another one of the rice treat in his hand, a cute Anpanman water bottle dangling by his side as he runs, mouth full. He turns around and smiles in glee while he waves his hands at his mother.

“Sweetheart...I think...it’s him” Granny said to Atsumu’s mom with a smile while patting the small of her back. “How much did you pray for that, Ma?” the younger woman asked. The older lady, however, could only chuckle and slowly trudge her frail figure towards the shrine in the living room and takes out a picture hidden behind a frame.

“So many times that it’s worth it now.” Atsumu’s mother charges towards his granny and cried into the hug.

Atsumu had a hard time having friends, even in his neighbourhood, there are many kids of the same age that has the same size as his, same evening habits to play at the resident playground but even with all the similarities they shared, they can’t get closer to Atsumu and him closer to them.

“Atsumu yer so mean! Don’t push him like that!” a girl screamed at him after Atsumu pushed a smaller kid to the ground. That was one of the reason no one gets along with him, he’s too stubborn and hot-headed, but sometimes his harshness is acceptable. Atsumu got angry that the smaller boy pulled the tail of the kitten to the point it meowed for help. “Stop being mean to kitty! It did nothin’ wrong! Stupid kid!” Atsumu clenches his fist and yanked it to his sides. He is so angry. Granny and Ma did their best to raise him, to be gentle with animals and the boy from the forest made him play with adorable fox cubs whenever they hanged around. He loves the cubs so much that he cried whenever the cub cried.

The girl from before pushed him back to the ground. “Atsumu you can’t tell people they’re stupid, that’s mean!” The girl lectured and took the smaller boy with her, stomping on the grounds angrily. Atsumu didn’t cry when he fell, he didn’t cry when he saw tiny scratches on his palm either.

He cried because now, the girl he wants to be friends with hated him.

As he wailed, the Forest Boy is at his sides. This doesn’t come as a shock to Atsumu because Atsumu himself told the boy that he should follow him all the way back to town, to play at the playground together. The boy told Atsumu to become friends with the girl but Atsumu got too shy and whiny about it and when he saw cats being tortured by her little brother he can’t help but let anger take over him.

“Aish, Sumu, look! Ya ruined the chance, what if she hated ya now?” Atsumu frowned and start angrily walking back to his family home. “’I don’t care! I don’t wanna be friends with her, she’s not nice!” Atsumu untied the shoelaces of his Batman shoes and stormed inside yelling “I’m home!” in an angry pout.

When he reaches the living room, he rushed into his mother’s lap, begging for a hug. Ma complied, she kissed his chubby cheeks and plays with his hair.

“Yer looking dirty...as usual. Go and take yer bath. Dinner will be ready in no time.” Ma walked to the kitchen and started prepping for dinner. Seems like Ma don’t wanna listen.

Atsumu angrily stomped his way to his room with Forest Boy tailing from behind.

“Hey, tell ya what...next time, tell her yer sorry and that her little bro is wrong for that” Forest Boy sat on the bed next to the sprawled-on-bed tiny Miya Atsumu. His small body perfectly fit in the big Superman logo on his bedding. “No way. I hate them” Now he covered his dirty body with the Superman comforter.

The next day, when he saw the girl, he said sorry and the girl apologised too. He only apologised because Forest Boy pushed him in front of the girl. They became friends since then.

After several days of getting to know each other, spending time in the park, going to kindergarten together (apparently the girl is from another class on the same kindergarten), they finally became closer than ever.

“Atsumu, why do ya always talk to yerself?” the girl asked after he saw Atsumu talking to Forest Boy and laughed at him.

“No I’m not” Atsumu blushed. He knows Forest Boy can’t be seen by anyone as of now. He realised this after some other kids told him he always talk to himself. He can’t even see his shadows, but reflections are the last thing that could catch him slipping. Ma had told him that if he has mysterious friends it means the ancestors are taking care of him, and Atsumu is a genius since he was young, he understood quickly and brushed it off with a smile. He often teased Forest Boy for not being real, to which the boy laughed at and attempts to scare him sometimes.

“Hmmm, okay. Look I bought you Spiderman stickers!” the girl giggled and Atsumu was so happy and Forest Boy who was standing near a tree winked at him. Ever since then, every advice given by Forest Boy was listened without a single hesitation.

One thing Atsumu noticed about Forest Boy is that other than the very similar features both of them shared, he also shared the same growth as his. Every time it was Atsumu’s birthday, Forest Boy was always there, celebrating with him and their spurt of growth are the same. Atsumu shared the same height as his and their change in voices too.

They also have the same intellect skills.

However, they’re not really that smart.

Atsumu coaxed Forest Boy to help him cheat.

“Psps....oi...ya scrub...what’s the answer to this question?” Atsumu buried his head into the paper, whispering to Forest Boy who sat on the floor near to his table.

“Ya think I studied? Hell nah? I’m a spirit not a student!” Forest Boy walked out of the quiet exam hall, whistling and loitered around the hallways.

“Awww shucks...I’m going to fail cus ‘o ya, Samu!” Atsumu’s eye widened. He had no idea why he called the boy Samu. All this time, he had been calling the boy as scrub, loser or jerk because sometimes the spirit that clung to him is just another annoying presence.

When Atsumu walked home after he completely flunked his exam, Atsumu walked behind his spirit best friend. At this point he don’t care if people called him weird.

“Haha told ya! Ya shoulda listen when I told ya to read more about vertebrates and animal classes!” Atsumu scoffed at the boy in front of him. He was humming when he finally remembered something.

“Hey, since ya don’t have a name, how about I give ya one?” Forest Boy stood still.

“Ya don’t have to, Sumu.” Atsumu clicked his tongue.

“Dun care, Samu.” Atsumu walked past the spirit.

“What...at least pick a more handsome name or somethin’....” Samu frowned at Atsumu.

“Hey the name is from mine! It’s handsome!” Atsumu lands a soft punch on Samu’s tummy.

“Hmm...okay, I like it.” Samu tilts his head. When he has that face of acknowledgement, he just shrugged.

“Okay...so Sumu” Atsumu points his finger to himself “and Samu” he presses the finger on Samu’s chest.

Atsumu and Samu went back home on their two feet with laughter and giggles filling the air.

They got closer after Atsumu gave a name to Samu, they would hang around together in his room, Atsumu would watch cartoons on the living room with Samu next to him, though sometimes he can’t call out his name that loud because the last time he did his Ma got worried and told him to sleep.

Atsumu also found his passion in volleyball because of Samu.

He was feeling down that day because his exam results got out and he got scared that Ma might throw a fit on him. Samu decided to coax him to go and watch the volleyball tournament, Atsumu just said okay and when he watch the match played by his seniors, that’s when it changed his lofe completely.

Atsumu watched the players move with agility similar to a pro and he got terrifically excited about it, he even asked some of the other kids about each positions. Samu was enjoying the game too, he also found out that his favourite position is the setter in the team.

Samu piqued Atsumu’s attention, he was originally admiring the spikers but when Samu throws in occasional woas and oohs at the setter both of them set their eyes on the same position.

“Setters are cool” Atsumu and Samu said on the same breath.

They looked at each other and continued with their fascination and jumping about for sharing the same liking towards the setter position and volleyball as a whole.

Later that night, Atsumu spent his entire time watching volleyball matches with Samu at the side on the bed while eating snacks. Atsumu fell asleep at some point but then Samu would kick him in the butt to wake him up. After the many nights of watching volleyball clips, Atsumu finally had Ma buy him a new volleyball and he got so excited for it. He would spend his evening with Samu telling him how he should set his ball.

“Samu, why don’tcha try hitting my toss? Cmon” Atsumu already stood by the net hands up while he watches at Samu.

Samu stood still, the ball at his feet. “I can’t hold the ball, Sumu. ‘M sorry.” Samu frowned.

Atsumu had his hands down, gripping at his shorts.

“Oh, it’s okay.” Atsumu went towards the pouting boy (spirit) and took the ball from his feet

“I’ll find someone else, later.” Atsumu took the ball and his water bottle with him, still upset that Samu can’t spike the ball he wants to toss.

Atsumu wonders why is it such a problem for him to hold a ball when all this time he can take Atsumu’s hand with him to run around in the forest and how he would hug the fox cubs together with him, but then he remembered, Samu is just a spirit. Atsumu thinks that Samu is a normal human being just like him because he has grown too close with him and he don’t see Samu’s antics to be weird and...not human.

Atsumu and Samu didn’t talk the rest of the day. Samu didn’t appear too.

Not long after, when Atsumu enroll in middle school, he found a volleyball partner. His name is Ojiro Aran, Samu said Aran looks cool with a foreign name and is good at hitting perfect tosses so Atsumu listened to Samu’s whispers to try to get closer with Aran.

It is true, Aran hit perfect tosses. Ever since then they became closer, Atsumu don’t have to worry about Samu’s inability to hit his toss. Samu would stand near to the field they were playing at and watches them play closely.

“I want to play too...” Samu mumbles softly as they laughed together and he looks up to the sky, mumbling empty words.

To his best efforts to become a setter, he made it! He made it to the school team as the setter with Aran as a spiker, also his senior in the club. He was always praised by coach and other senior players in the team due to his outstanding talent as a setter.

However, Atsumu has a big head. His pride got to him and in no time, his achievement as the school setter, also to include how he is so likeable by the entire population of girls, gave people reasons to badmouth him. Atsumu is no stranger to the words spread around the entire school property, Samu told him some of it.

Samu got pissed that he got these hates circulating around and sometimes, those who went overboard with the badmouthing made Samu a little bit careless as a spirit. He scares them. Samu had tried different tactics to scare from purposely pushing the door a bit too harshly making them got spooked because the wind isn’t that strong to push the door, to making a really loud scream that the human ear can comprehend and translate it as a too loud of a noise it made them flinch.

However, the spread of words doesn’t stop, and it won’t plan on stopping anyway. Samu then realised Atsumu had very different ways when it comes to talking to people no matter they’re friends or not. Atsumu was too blunt that Samu thinks he was being too mean.

“Oi scrubs, if ya want to play volley, hit my tosses well.” Atsumu left the two boys with a scoff leaving his mouth. Samu felt his blood boiling. Atsumu was never this mean to another person.

“Hey, Sumu. Don’t cross the line, ya need to know they worked hard for it too. Just like you were. I’d better see ya say sorry to them. I heard they said yer an asshole.” Samu stood right before him who was chugging water out of his bottle.

“So what, I dun care about losers. They coulda said it to ma face.” Atsumu took the towel and rubs away the sweat that trickles along his forehead.

“Atsumu! I thought ya promised to listen to everything that I said!” Samu scrunched his forehead, this is the first time Atsumu didn’t listen.

“What, yer not even real, and ya think ya can tell me off? Go away Samu.” Atsumu went back on the court, ignoring Aran who asked him who he was talking to. Samu got upset that day and he didn’t appear again.

Samu got called to the heaven the day after. Even after he came back Atsumu didn’t apologise.

“Where’ve ya been?”

“Somewhere”

“Where”

“Not telling”

Atsumu pulled the comforter to cover his whole body, eventually falling asleep.

3 years left, Samu, and then you’re leaving.

Samu cried by the windows, he needs to hold in the pain just a little bit longer.

Atsumu got into high school the next two years. Just like Samu he grew up, having a sharper feature and grown taller after he went through puberty. When Atsumu was going through that, Samu can’t help but laughs a little too loudly making Atsumu’s face flushed. He felt like game loss is at least insufferable compared to Samu making fun of him.

However, there are perks that comes out of it, he got even more popular. When he was just walking in the hallway girls would swarm him, forcing him to receive the love letters and baked goods made by them and made him eat right there. At first Atsumu would relish in the attention but Samu’s mischievous smirk scares him.

“Let’s see once ya get all tired! Stupid Sumu!” Samu laughed out loud and Atsumu raised the finger at him. The girls were around him at that time and they got shivers running down their spine.

“Atsumu-san...who were you talking to?” one of them asked. “None o yer business, move, need to get to class.” Well, that’s one way to piss them off.

Atsumu never really ditched his blunt personality he developed since childhood actually. Samu knew of this and he finally adapted to his big head and just run along with it. Often times Samu would scream a really high-pitched tone of the word ‘asshole’ and Atsumu returns with a ‘I don’t give a fuck!’ to which he earned another high-pitched tone of his mother telling him to shut up and go to bed across the hallway from her room.

Atsumu, is now a second-year student and he becomes the official setter of the Inarizaki Volleyball Club, along with his other second-year friends, Suna and Gin. Aran is also in the team as the ace and the vice captain. Atsumu are close friends with them. Even outside volleyball they would spend time together during lunch period and after-practices and casually talk about their life and their interests.

Since Samu is attached to Atsumu by the hip and won’t ever leave his side, he would tail around, pretending that he knows them as long as Atsumu did. Atsumu won’t ever hurt his feelings and he would just let him be. Samu tells a joke but only Atsumu listens, and Atsumu would tell the joke to the rest of the boys and they would laugh at it. Samu is enlightened with everything that goes on in the circle. It makes him feel rather...alive.

Samu would also ramble and complains about Ginjima’s loudness, Kita’s stoic and scary personality and how sometimes he find Suna adorable when he squints his eyes as he laugh at his jokes that got relayed by Atsumu.

“Suna kinda cute though.” Samu giggled to himself as he lies down on the floor.

“Aww is Samu in love with a human? What kind of anime genre is this?” Atsumu laighs as he scrolls away on his phone.

“Not in love...I can’t do that.” Samu kicks the bed, making it shake and Atsumu jolted.

“I’m about ta leave, anyway.” He mumbles slowly.

“What wuz that?” Atsumu asked and Samu just slept on the floor. “Weirdo. I didn’t know ghosts can sleep.” Atsumu scoffed.

“We were humans, of course we sleep too.” Samu said as his back is turned away.

Atsumu gave that a lot of thought. Samu was human? How?

When he first saw Samu, he was young and looks just like him. Samu never mentioned about anything on why Atsumu is the only one who got to see him and interact. Heck, he never leaves any clue. All Samu did around Atsumu was nag and tell him how to do this and that, Atsumu never actually asked more questions because Samu would avoid it, just like how Samu went ‘somewhere’ the other day. Samu won’t break.

He wonders if one day something will unveil itself. Will he ever know Samu more than just the ghost that tails him around everyday? He had no idea.

One day, when Atsumu got bored from doing homework and Samu was watching a drama on Atsumu’s tablet, Atsumu decided to ask.

“Samu, who’re ya?” Samu paused the drama and looked at Atsumu. “I’m Samu, of course.” He resumes the drama. “I know that, like...ya said the other day you were human before. What was yer name?” Atsumu asked again. Samu who had his chin propped on the pillow with his whole body pressed on the bed is now sitting properly.

“I can’t let ya know that, sorry. I made a promise.” Samu looks down.

“Is it because...when ya tell...ya might disappear?” Atsumu’s voice was croaking and Samu flinched, slowly letting out the next words.

“I will tell you, when the time comes, it won’t take that long, don’t worry.” Atsumu turned the chair around and pick up his pencil.

With his back turned towards Samu, he spoke again. “By the time you told me that, will ya disappear?” Samu didn’t answer.

“Okay” Atsumu paused. “Now can ya help me solve this, please?” Atsumu whines and Samu just laughed. “of course, I’m always the smarter one here.” Samu showed him what to do to get the answer while he considers the words he’s going to tell Atsumu later.

The closer the time gets, Samu’s light got...dimmer. Samu hasn’t been that responsive to any of what Atsumu has been saying too. When the gang was casually talking to each other, Samu didn’t laugh whenever Ginjima pulls out another lame jokes or when Suna smiles he didn’t flutter unlike before. He’s simply, less energetic than how he used to before.

Atsumu stopped talking too, some of the members asked him if he’s okay because this time his joke supply is running low which was weird. Atsumu thinks when Samu got drained, he gets it too.

When Atsumu occasionally steal a glance to the reflection on the window, he don’t see Samu the same anymore. He knows Samu was right behind him, but this time the glass window doesn’t catch his presence, making it as if Samu was never there in the first place.

“Samu are ya there?” Atsumu asks without looking back.

“Yep, I’m right next to ya, Atsumu.” Atsumu looks to his left to see Samu smiling weakly at him.

“Okay, let’s get ta class.” Atsumu slips his hands into the pocket of his blazer, looking down as he stomps his way to his classroom.

Samu stayed petrified to the ground. He was actually trying to reach to Atsumu’s shoulders but his hand slips right through it.

“Dear God, please fulfil my final wish. I’m begging you.” Samu, cried as he stood while looking up at the sky.

If Atsumu asks the reason to his dramatic ass suddenly crying, he will need to tell him that it was just his human soul taking part. Samu cried silently when he sees Atsumu greets the teacher before him.

Samu realised this, the fact that he is going to disappear closer to Atsumu’s birthday. He has been walking and appearing even less than before. He knows this. When he was walking, Atsumu’s old volleyball, the first ball he got after discovering volleyball for the first time got in the way of his walk.

He picks it up and threw it away from his line of sight. And then he realised. He never had that much spurt of energy since these few days but suddenly it grows rapidly in his body. He called out to Atsumu.

“Eh, ssup?” Atsumu asked as he comes in the room. “Hey, let’s go to the park where you used to play yer silly volleyball now. Need to show ya somethin’” Samu got out first.

When they reached the park, Samu took the deepest breath he could get and heave it with a gentle relief washing over him.

“What’s up with ya? Ghost fever finally reducing down?” Atsumu rolls the old ball he had on his hand and spins it.

“Well, ya can say that” Samu giggled. “hey, guess what?” Samu took the ball from Atsumu.

“What?” Atsumu asks.

“Duh?” Samu hold the ball with a grip with both of his hands.

“Holy shit, Samu! Ya can hold the ball! This is insane!” Samu folds his arms in his chest.

“Cmon, I’ll hit yer toss.” Samu took the ball in his hands and went near the lines he helped Atsumu drew when they were kids. He throws the ball and runs forward.
Atsumu tossed by the time Samu was flying in the air, resulting into a quick attack. When the ball hits the ground and Samu connected his feets back on Earth, they looked at each other, and screamed their lungs out.

“That, was, amazing!” Atsumu runs his fingers through his hair and flies his leg up to kick at Samu’s sides.

“That was insane, bro!” Samu screamed at Atsumu.

“Bro? What are ya babblin’ about, Samu?” Atsumu shrugs it off with a scoff.

“Yeah, bro. I have so many things to tell ya right now. Let’s sit first.” Samu pulls on the cuff of Atsumu’s sweatshirt and trudges to the bench.

Atsumu went silent. Is it time for-

“Atsumu...ya actually has a twin.” Samu said after heaving his breath shakily.

“A what?” “Yeah, twin”

“Yer joking.” Atsumu scoffed and pushed at Samu.

,p>“It’s true, Ma just never told ya ‘bout it.” Samu smirks lazily. A silent pause envelops the both of them.

“I died during childbirth, Sumu. You got out first and something happened and I died right after you got out.” Sumu looks ahead, eyes away from the confused looking guy beside him.

“....you?” Samu looked at Atsumu.

“Yes, Atsumu, I’m the twin.” Atsumu laughed. “Yer talking crap Samu are ya sure yer okay?” this time he got nervous and breath hitched.

“Granny and Ma prayed every day and night after I died, for me to come and visit ya, said that twins can never be separated, even by death.” Atsumu went silent.

“The Gods made me live years later, when you were five years old. That’s how you first saw me.”

“My duty is to have myself follow ya around for years, to make sure ya grow up well without yer other half. The Heaven said somethin’ bout how we’re of the same cell and all that. Like it or not I have ta listen. Ma cried for my names in her sleep sometimes.”

Atsumu already got it by now but he is still basking in the fact that he could have had a brother.

“So, if yer alive, I would have had a brother? Another one of me? Damn, the girls are going to like ya better.” Samu scoffed. “Yup, definiely, I’m literally sent by god!” both of them were laughing.

“God is unfair.” Atsumu said after a long pause. “if you were here, I would have had a brother.”

“I know”

“I would have had another volley friend”

“Lunch time buddy”

“Ma’s other son”

“A little bro”

“The other guys would have you as a friend”

“You would have been my spiker.”

“Why did they do this to me, Samu, to you?” Samu smiles.

“Sometimes it just doesn’t go our way, and besides, in a spirit form I’m enough. Even if I’m dead, I’m still your brother.”

“But people has to know, how you really are, they have to have ya as a friend. Imagine how much the world will be terrified of both of us if you’re...alive. I want to see you happy too, Samu. I want to see you stand next to me when I go up too.”

“I know, and I will be there. I will always stand right next to ya. But it’s just going to be your memories of me there.” Samu said in the calmest tone possible.

“I won’t be here forever, Sumu. I promised the God until you turn eighteen, but it got cut short because I asked for a favour.”

“What favour?” Atsumu asked shakily.

“To spike yer tosses.” Samu smiles again.

“Yer...going ta leave me?”

“Yes”

“When?”

“When you turned seventeen.”

Atsumu pulls Samu in a hug.

"There should be another year, please stay". Atsumu groaned.

"If I stayed for another year, I can't hit yer tosses, same thing but worse" Samu sniffles.

“Don’t say that yer not–ya can’t leave me.” Atsumu sniffles into Samu’s shoulder.

“Ya won’t ever leave me I will make ya stay. Do not go anywhere or I’ll kill ya” Atsumu grumbles. Sniffles turning into sobs.

“Are ya still there?”

“Yes”

“Good, don’t go”

“Okay, promise me to eat onigiris at my grave”

“No”

“Take care of Ma, make sure she have no stiff shoulders”

“Okay”

“Tell Granny to never ditch her meds, tell her to live long”

“Okay”

“Lastly, don’t ever falter, spread your wings and fly, I will make sure ya stay up there. Don’t be afraid cause I will never leave yer side, and ya will never forget of me. And that I always love you, big bro. Even when I left, promise me to never hold anything back, be kind and brave to yerself. Fight for what ya think is right.”

“Always play volleyball, for me and for you. I love you, Sumu, take care.”

“I know, I love ya too Samu.” Atsumu said after his sobs spilled out of his mouth.

“Are ya still there?” No reply. Atsumu was hugging air. But he stayed still and hugged on the air tighter.

“Samu?” Atsumu squint his eyes shut. He don’t want to open. Not until Samu replies.

He takes a deep breath and opened his eyes.

Samu left.

He’s not there.

Like before. He left, again.

Atsumu cried again and he didn’t feel like stopping.

“I miss ya Samu, I hope you’re in better place now.”

-

After that night, he never told anyone about what had happened. True, he still cries over it at some time in his life. He would expect Samu’s presence near the benches looking at him as he plays volleyball, or watch him as he talks to other guys in the volleyball club, when he’s eating and when he’s about to doze off to a deep slumber.

He’s content with it, happy to know that Samu is indeed his twin brother and that they love and care for each other. He didn’t ask about Samu to his mom either, except when he turned 20.

Ma, Granny and Atsumu was having dinner together. Atsumu finally asked.

“Ma, I have a brother, right?” Ma and Granny gasped and after Atsumu explained how he’s okay and knows everything about it, they explained too.

Miya Osamu died during childbirth. When Atsumu got taken out, Atsumu didn’t cry which was pretty concerning since kids need to cry when they got out, even after few gentle nudges he won’t let out a single noise. When Osamu got out of the womb, and the doctor told the nurses that Osamu’s not breathing, the nurses immediately tried to bring him back, and when they couldn’t, Atsumu finally cried. Granny said the cries are very loud that the Heaven heard Atsumu's plead to make his brother stayed, the Heaven sent Samu's spirits as a way for closure.

What Osamu said was right, they prayed till they run out of word to say to the God. When Atsumu said he’s out to play in the forest and mentioned fox cubs, they knew it was Osamu’s spirit hanging around him. Ma didn’t ask much as she knows Atsumu need all the time to fully understand how the whole situation goes on for him so she just played along.

After Atsumu knows how it all happened, Granny rushed to the shrine and takes out a piece of paper from the frames that decorated the shrine. It was an ultrasound picture of Atsumu and Osamu in the womb.

That is their only picture together. Atsumu promised Ma that he will keep it to the day he dies.

Just like Osamu said, Atsumu went to eat onigiri at his grave, take care of Ma and Granny properly and went ahead with his volleyball career. He kept his brave facade and move forward to reach where he is not and he succeeded, and he hoped that the Gods are doing a good job and tell Osamu that he made it.

Atsumu got married few years later, with the girl from the park, the one Osamu told him to make friends with.

Atsumu woke up one morning, seeing his beautiful wife laying on the right side of the bed, sleeping with an evident bump on her tummy. Atsumu looks out the window and had his feet hanging by the bed.

He felt a small pair or arms wrap around his waist.

“Good morning Atsumu, and happy birthday.” She kissed him on the cheek.

“Thank you, babe.” Atsumu pauses.

“Happy Birthday to Osamu-san too.” She said again, the hug becomes tighter.

“Thank you, thank you so much.” Atsumu kissed her on the cheeks this time.

“Wherever he is right now, he’s in a better place. I’m sure he would have a spot for you there, right?” she giggled and Atsumu turns his body to hug her properly this time.

“Oh absolutely. I made him promise before he go.” Atsumu rubs and holds the bump gently.

“What if–“ “You want to name him Osamu? Sure” Atsumu gaped open.

“I...didn’t say anything yet.” She giggled again, and Atsumu wants to hear it till the last heave of his breath.

“Yer okay with it?” she nods and hums while he brushes at his tears-stained cheeks.

“Of course, I know how much Osamu means to you, and I’m sure, our son will be as great as he is. Osamu is a blessing, I can’t wait till he gets out.” Atsumu lays his body back on the mattress. He looks into her eyes.

“Yer right, Osamu will be as great as his uncle” Atsumu smiles, thinking that the legacy his brother left is a blessing to his whole life, and even when death kept them apart, the love won’t ever perish like the memories he had his entire childhood.

Notes:

I hope you cried.

The part when the twins hug, it was heavily referenced from some of my favourite scenes from different films and shows. Vanya and Ben from The Umbrella Academy when Ben is the one that reached to Vanya before she wreak havoc, Ejen Ali Ejen Aliya in the Iris Dimension before Ali took full control of Override Mode and Peter and Stark before Peter bleeped.

All this things have the same thing in common in which they're all family, and that before the other realises that another disappear, they break and cry and accept the fact that this is the moment for them to stand alone and move forward with the will the other person left behind, truly my favourite dynamic and I just want to share some of that to you guys.

I cried a lot in the process of writing this, I don't know if it's because it is genuinely angsty or because I love the twins but I also think it is both, I hope you guys feel the same too.

Thank you, for reading, I will be happy to hear your thoughts on this and please leave kudos :)