Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“I love you, man. No. No I love you.”

We were four hours into my bachelor party when Will stripped off his clothes, thought he transformed into a wolf, and gazed deeply into Mouse’s eyes to declare his ever lasting love. Luckily at this portion of the bar crawl we’d ended up on a mostly destroyed park…and frankly this probably wasn’t the weirdest seen in the past year.

I don’t think I’ll ever put any faith in peace talks again.

Somewhere behind us, Butters was trying to get the arrest details from the cop who hauled Michael away, Thomas was paused to sit dramatically in the moonlight, and Sanya-

Sanya was defiling my brand new Watermelon-Lime/Lemonade slurpee with another flask of vodka.

“Da, you see. Michael has his picket fence. Waldo has his co-ed hotties. But me? No one finds my drinks in security.” I knew I was pouting(and maybe more tipsy than I thought) because I thought maybe drinking it faster would sober me up quicker.

“Dresden, what the hell is-“ Grey’s approach got cut off by the scream of the man who’d just left the same 7-Eleven as me.

Could also have been the bullet that grazed him off.

Maybe I should mention that this wasn’t what I had planned.

…

It was a quiet night not long after Christmas Eve with just the family I had left in my castle. Maggie had gone to sleep a little while ago and took Bonnie with her- I think their plan was to find a way to properly catch a shoot star.

“I still can’t believe you’re marrying Lara. I thought that was just a stupid crush she had.” And well wasn’t that news. Before I could answer Bob roared to life on his mantle hiding our rooms: It was a little too Last Unicorn for my tastes.

“Are you kidding me! That’s why I’m back!” Thomas rolled his eyes and kicked the edge of my third hand couch.

“What’re you planning?” I could say half of them. Molly wouldn’t let me talk about the other half, anyway, and decided to cheer him up with what I could share. Bob was still on the mantle, talking about “after giving so much he’s finally receiving” his spot in the place the Playboy Mansion dreamed about.  I smiled and pulled out a binder with my notes.

“I have the plans set up for the bachelor party! ”The skull and my brother both shook.

“You do?!” I hadn’t smiled for a while and it felt unnatural on my face.

“Yeah. I got the new expansion pack that I haven’t opened yet with character sheet enhancements and check out the dice…” I trailed off watching Thomas’ face go completely ashen. “What?”

“You expect your bachelor party to be a Dungeons and Dragons game. Harry, you’re a wizard in a castle.” He didn’t bring up the other still sore point of my lightning scar like the books-that-shall-not-be-named. I was completely in my rights to dunk him in the lake for that one.

I scowled, “You went to a Twilight roleplay!” Bob loudly sighed.

“He was eating, Harry! He even gets more game pretending to be as geeky as you. I can’t let this happen- What is Lara finds out how lame you are? I won’t ever be closer to the hottest,” he started and stopped himself. “I’m not letting you ruin this for me, Harry. I’m using my 24 hours on the day of your Bachelor party!” The fire in his eyes glowed at the command. Thomas was on his haunches, someone balancing on an arm of the couch that I could have sworn Maggie hotglued back together.

“I will be planning your bachelor party,” he paused, “with Bob’s assistance of course.”

For the first time in a long while, there was a spark of life back in Thomas’ silver eyes. Something to drive him further than the thoughts of his missing kid, his former love, and the pieces of himself that couldn’t be replaced.  

“Alright. Your plans.” I acquiesced.

…

I should have known then what a fucking disaster this was going to turn out to be.

I might have said that part outload because Sanya just laughed and the man from the store stared at me in horror- another shot fired and took down what was left of my Slurpee.

…

The night was going better than I feared. Everyone knew it would be a goddamn disaster to celebrate too close to the one year mark, so at the end of April, Thomas arranged for a few of my friends (who would still tolerate me) to have the night out.

The first stop was Mac’s and his brew. He’d even allowed us to move two tables together to fit everyone and it was needed. I had never thought about seating ever, and Molly and Lara sounded ready to start a war with a third world country over the process. I used to think it was simple. Find a chair. Sit down.

Thomas didn’t like Goodman Grey, the scion of a skinwalker. Fair enough.

Fix felt nervous being next to Thomas, not quite forgetting the shotgun in the face incident.

Grey thought sitting next to any of the Knights, former or otherwise, “was a good way to get killed, Dresden”.

I rolled my eyes as Mouse gave a soft woof once everyone sat comfortably and started ordering. The scene was somber for a few minutes when the whispers kicked up. Frankly most of the people at the table were more than a little recognizable to the supernatural community of Chicago…especially after a Titan came crashing through the city.  

“Here’s to Harry, old friends, missing friends, and new ones.” Clearly Michael didn’t share the same sentiment as Grey and cheerfully clanked his mug against everyone else in toast.

Every breathed a bit easy after that.

It was out fourth round and the food was laying around forgotten (Mouse, I believe, had given care consideration to all of the leftovers in lieu of beer).

“You were right, Thomas.” So I was a little slurry. “This was better than playing the Erkhaven expansion pack.”

“That was an option?!” Butters looked over at Will, questioning if he knew anything about it. I careful hadn’t told them. Grey got a look on his face and clanked his glance against my brother’s with a , “Yeah, I get it now.”

“That sounds like a terrible idea and you should be ashamed of yourself,” Sanya told the table as they stood up.

“The next stop- shots!” The plan was to hit one or two vanilla places for regular drinks before hitting Llyn y Fan Fach Tavern. I don’t know, I was sort of involved in the plan. Sometime along the way Thomas had Sanya brought in and Sanya had Michael distract me.

It was at the second bar that things got…peculiar.

…

Like any good nightclub they wouldn’t let Mouse in at the door no matter what kind of VIP access Thomas might have had. He took it well enough and sat along the alleyway sniffing everyone that came by.

It was darky and smoky with green and purple strobe lights- A few people in the crowd seemed to have met Fix before so it was likely this place had mixed clientele.

“This way Harry!” Will was leading us the long way around and up more than few staircases until we reached a  modest rooftop bar and notably far away from any technical equipment that was being used by the club downstairs. There were two dancers on well lit platforms: a well bodied redhead that could have been Andi’s stunt double if Butter’s flush was anything to go by, writhing around herself with fake plants and a few well places ivy leaves and green body make up.

The glow, err, highlighted, some important parts of her anatomy.

On the other platform the woman had on a more accurate costume if that meant anything. The magician’s assistant took a bow every now and then with sparklers going off and hazing everything around in red, dusty smoke.

She was talented enough to have actually pulled cards out of no where that I saw so I thought maybe they hired an actual magician for Zatanna. 

“I told you to leave it to me.” Thomas clapped by shoulder and grinned. Looking closer it was the rooftop bar that stayed very art deco from the turn of the century. Ambiguously placed, just like Gotham. Michael hmmed and quietly took the chair to not face the girls as much but the dusting on his cheeks was there too.

“We decided on Zatanna for the obvious reasons but a big no on Harley.” Butters  and Grey snorted and started at each other.

Maybe the DnD game could still happen if we got away from Thomas and Sanya. No, that wouldn’t work I thought after knocking back some fireball. Come to think of it where was Bob?

“Catwoman is too much of a cliché and that’s a big no on Talia al Ghul since, you know, you’re marrying her.” Fix elbowed me and grinned at the acrobatics Zatanna had accomplished with just a cane and some gravity.

“Lara isn’t Talia.” My wife to be had nothing in common with a near immortal, ambiguously villainous member of Batman’s rogues gallery. The latter half of the table snorted.

“She kinda is, Harry.” Grey downed his second round, before getting quiet. “…you don’t think there is an active Lazarus pit around Chicago do you?” Everyone went quiet while Will motioned for the third round of shots to be taken even quicker than the second.  The rush was really starting in when butters whistled at the entrance. Like any half decent place there were secret entrances all over that severed well is prohibition.

The cart was wheeled out by one of the regular bartenders decked in regular black, useful clothing. Grey was eying up her ass until he caught the look Michael was giving him.

Whatever the hell you want to call it when it was rolled out was magnificent. Math skills weren’t the best and I was never able to guess how many jelly beans were in the jar, but on the rolling cart was a sizable copy of the Sears Tower with a gradient of liquor from light to dark making up the shots the whole way up.

Sanya stared wide eyed at it and even Michael was vaguely stunned.

Then the waitress took out the lighter and set it on fire.

“For once you get to put out the fire!” Butter cheered and simultaneously went to go get the fire extinguisher out. Fair enough.

“Ha! Ventus.” So help me I cheated a little and blew the spell over the table. The flames and smoke flickered before going out and joining the rest of the plume over the building amidst the cheering. Dimly in the background a refrain of Shots!Shots!Shots! was heard.

The bander tender winked and ran her hand over Fix’s shoulder as she left, “Enjoy your party boys.”

“This things 62 shots,” said Will with his fancy college diploma and counting ability. Maybe he was speaking in fright, too, because Thomas locked eyes with everyone at the table.

“Opening acts over. Tonight we’re getting fucked up.” Let me level with you on something. Everyone has power.

You, me. The Faerie Queens. The cashier at your grocery store. 

It might have been something in the air that night or just enough of the La Fay in Thomas to act up…but those words ended up being a solemn vow sealed into reality over the first round of tequila.

…

“So the night’s been ruined.” Thomas took his turn pouting now which I thought was completely unfair since his slurpee wasn’t a causality of war. We’d all retreated back to the park’s shelter, including the fellow from the 7-Eleven. Grey was wide eyed and twitchy as he shifted his leg into different forms to get the damage worn out and gone. First it was an elephant’s foot. A tentacle, next. The eel’s tail was a curious one that had Butters going a little green in the gills.

Heh.

“Not if we hold true to each other. We will not abandon Merry and Pippin to torment and death!” I grabbed 7-Eleven and Will’s shoulders but was utterly ignored.

“Who the hell is shooting at me.” Butters was putting around. He never really liked it when magic couldn’t explain science. Mouse was very, very calmly having Grey’s back in case there was a second shot.

“Don’t shoot. I think we’ve got something of a misunderstanding.” 7-Eleven was near trembling at the voice coming from the darkness, clearly making enough noise to heard approaching. I knew that voice.

And so did Grey whose eyes flash that uncomfortably golden.

“You son of a bitch hellhound! You shot me!”

Just like that, Jared Kincaid joined the Fellowship of the Ring.

…

I was leaning over the edge of the building to catch some fresh air over the skyline. I, and mostly everyone in the party, was getting to be well and truly drunk. A light breeze cooled off the sweat from the god awful dancing we’d tried to accomplish to the limited sound system. Thomas looked like he wanted to say something, but Fix cut him off at the pass with a small smile.

“It has been an honor to have been invited to your party.”

“The only honor is in having been as well met to you.” Formalities aside I’m surprised we managed to stutter that out before giving into the giggles. He looked over at the clock on the wall.

“I am still your friend, Harry, but I am also under Summer’s rules. At midnight I’ll have to leave you.” I went to say something but he held up his hand to wait.

So I did.

For the three minutes it took for the second hand to move to 12:01:01. Fix leaned in real close and whispered, “there’s a spirit that was poking around Summer and Wyldefae about tonight. I’d be on the look out.” He smiled again and clapped my back in as manly of a hug we could manage. His goodbye’s to the other others were much the same, except Michael who got a full embrace. Which, again, fair.

Another layer of the tower gone, the secret door opened again, only this time it was neither a bartender nor a member of the Gotham’s Citizenship.

It was a member of Gentleman Johnny’s outfit.

Chapter Text

 No,wait. I stand corrected. One of Gentleman Johnny’s ex-goons and someone I’d had the pleasure of serving jury duty for:  Hamilton Luthor. He was in an enviable position of having been ex- everything to do with the dark side of Chicago. He’d even gotten out of a supernatural mess fairly unscathed.

“Mr. Dresden? I’m sorry to interrupt but I heard you would be here tonight.” To be fair he did sound vaguely sorry. Will’s eyes got more of a prosperous look in the moonlight and Thomas edged slightly closer.

“Hello Mr. Luthor. Not beating anymore people in alleyways tonight?” Despite what the council said I am still a Wizard. Lording knowing over other people is our bread and butter. The wane and startled look that I enjoyed was all Winter, though.

Even for the unincited having a wizard drop your name without introduction is more than a little unnerving. It was Sanya that broke the silence in the worst accent I’d ever heard in my life.

“You come to him, the day of his bachelor party, to ask him for a favor.” Butters audible groan could be heard over the strobing downstairs. Luthor gulped and looked around.

“Sir, I wouldn’t come if I didn’t think it was very important. It’s…I think you need to help Mr. Marcone.”

“Huh?” Well there were any cool points I might have accumulated. I leaned in closer to the man but Grey took the matter up. He slung an arm around Luthor’s shoulder and asked him to “cut to the chase”  only…

You know how you test tongs with that click click to make sure they work? Grey had some so with his hands that had become actual giant lobster claws. Luthor looks petrified and I bust a gut laughing. Something shiny caught my eye as I was doubled over. The crucifix wasn’t present at the mans trial but it was there now.

Ah.

Thomas helped me up and walked over to Luthor was still being held there by own very own lobsterboy. I knew better to look him right in the eye, drunk or not, and started at the greying eyebrows of a very concerned man while pressed the crucifix under his buttoned shirt.

“Mr. Luthor, I know. It’s good that you’re looking out for him,” the absence of more than one familiar face in Chicago burned bile up my throat, “and know that I’ll deal with it when the time comes.” Quiet ominously and nothing to do with me the candles blew out in the wind.

“But not tonight?”

“But not tonight.” I smiled. Grey and Sanya slowly moved him to the exit, afraid he was too shaken up to not accidently brain himself on the way down. It was Michael that came to find out.

“Harry, do you know what’s going on with that man and Marcone?” I blanched- Thomas gave me a shot- and nodded.

“Yeah, but like I said, not tonight.” He nodded while Thomas began the round up.

“Time to move on people!” Will went off to speak with the manager while Thomas lead me out.

“You know what would be great right now?” We’ve all mainlined alcohol for close to three hours now and even Thomas was starting to look dazed in the eye, “some slurpees.”

…

I have been through some excruciating tortures under Mab’s gentle care. Fought a full scale war against red court vampires. Defeated a Titan.

But maybe Hell is a convenience store that doesn’t dim the lights after midnight like a respectably place to be wasted.  My fellowship behind me wussed out completely after Will walked into the brightly lit 7-Eleven and cried that it was blinding. The cowards stayed outside as I made my way over to the slurpee machine by sound and by feelings through the shelves.

I said that they were cowards not that they were wrong.

“Uhm…Wizard?” The only other man besides the clerk in the store spoke to me with hesitance.

“If ever a wiz there was.” I couldn’t tell him face from the still blinding lights but decided to use his assistance anyway. “This the Lemonade one?” He moved my hand and cup one over.

“Thanks.” The sweet, sweet grind of citric acid foam was a new habit of mine thanks to Molly and Maggie. Vision started to clear a bit and I blinked over to the Watermelon-Lime nozzle.

Now I’m not trying to be an asshole but after the Titan last spring there were a couple more people that knew me by sight. My voice recording service had several thousand messages on it by the time phone lines went up again. What I’m saying is I asked one of the Little Folk to write the messages and they’d gone to Lacuna for a dishonorable discharge.

“So what’re you in for?” Normal people weren’t at 7-Eleven half passed twelve on a Tuesday for no reason.

“My girl needs the peach rings for teething. It’s been the only thing to get to sleep for two weeks now.” I grunted.

My friends were casting shadows into the store and I could have sworn that the police siren blaring before coming to a stop.  More noise.

“Have a good night. If you want to really shock her, get some sour gummies.” Being an asshole was part and parcel for being a part of Winter. I paid for my slurpee and paused before I existed swallowing down most of the foam in a few sips. Brain freeze was also a thing of the past.

As I opened the door I saw Michael look at me, stop, and deck the officer in the face.

…

Remember what I said about seating?

Apparently mercenaries are all special pretty princesses that do not like being second string. Mouse left his position from Grey’s side to lean against me and, frankly, keep me up better. Will appeared on the other side of me in canine form after realizing that he was A, naked and B, not a wolf.

The rest of us had formed something or a semi-circle around Grey and Kincaid, who seemed equally as bristled to have each other here.

“What kind of misunderstanding involves shooting me?” Grey hissed out- there was a lizard tongue and everything.

“and my slurpee. Why’d you shoot that?” I still had the lid and straw in my hand from the decapitation. De-lid-itation? Maybe. Mouse gave me a look saying he’d read my mind and found me amusing. Good Boy.

Kincaid raised his hands and put the gun on the ground.

“Look. I was hired because of Dresden.” Wow. My bachelor party at once turned to whip their heads to me, 7-Elven slower after picking up on the cue.

“Not me this time! I’m not killing myself again. At least I don’t think…no, no Molly wouldn’t let me. We’re fine.” Thomas scowled and urged Kincaid to continue and he did.

“There was a tip off that some people are asking around after Dresden. The Winter Lady hired me to ensure he makes it ‘through until noon next’ and to keep a general eye out for the rest of you.” That made sense in a way with the Padawan. I’d bought a mercenary’s services once so that they couldn’t be used against me. She was buying her way into avoiding my suicide.

“That don’t make any sense. Why shoot Grey?” Butters cleaned his glasses and ended up smearing more crap on them because giving it up for a lost cause. This time I wasn’t the cause of the awkward silence.

“They’re assassins, Waldo.” Sanya informed his partner.  I lolled my head to either side and mentioned, “that Kincaid and Grey are mostly infernal beings. What?” they both glared at me. “I said mostly.”

“I see,” said Thomas, which was a relief because I didn’t have a clue this go around. Sanya passed me his vodka flask again as if sensing my burgeoning sobriety. “You took the shot once Michael was carted away. If there were ever a time to take him,” he waved at me, “out it would be once that man’s gone.”

“Exactly. We cool?” Kincaid looked us around and I did notice a few things about him that the street light was starting to show. He still looked like the centerfold of mercenaries monthly, but there was sagging under his eyes and a sort of tiredness around him that wasn’t due to sleepless nights alone.

I winced. Years later and I was still seeing the devastation I brought on everything in asking for my death.

“Well if you and Grey can kiss and make up why not just join the party? Easiest way to keep me safe.” Remember what I told you about words and power? Kincaid and Grey scowled and kisses and made up. That’s faerie power for you. Though now that I think about it there’s something I’m forgetting about tonight…

“I need a drink.” Grey spat and cracked his neck. Mouse and Will howled in agreement and we were off again.

“Wait. Why did Michael get arrested?” Butters stopped short and stared a bug-eyed thousand yard glance.

“Oh shit.”

…

“Wait a minute,” I turned around and blinked. Now that the spots were gone I was able to get a good look at 7-Eleven. It was Randy, one of the Bean Knights that asked for proof that I was a Wizard. “Shit, you’re Randy!”

The man looked vaguely uncomfortable and waved to the group which split in twain. Some went with Butters freaking out about Michael while everyone that has self-preservation stop and stared at me. Kincaid pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Dresden, do you mean to tell me you invited someone you didn’t know to follow you around while drunk and unprotected?”

“I knew him! See, Randy this is Kincaid,” I pointed to the man about to have a stroke, “Grey,” who suddenly looked as if he forgave the other for shooting him, “and Thomas.” With his head held in his hands.

“Guys, this is Randy. He’s a Knight of the Bean.” They didn’t seem impressed so in a sotto voice I told Randy, “don’t worry, they’re just mad they weren’t there.” Sanya was heard squawking from up front- or was it behind us? We’d been stationary while the others moved forward, did they circle around?

“I think I’m just going to go-“ Randy left the hard way by running through the sparse bushes back to the safety of the 7-Eleven.

Given what had happened afterwards I’m going to rank him as the resourceful person of the night.

It was just about then that the combat ready of the party realized what I’d had-Butters, Will, and Sanya were in a full circle.

“Guys,” I started as Kincaid reloaded his gun, “I think we’re over one of the entrances to -” The broken asphalt gave away completely into a whirl of color and stars before the darkness and dramatic shadow that was Chicago’s Undertown.

Chapter Text

In the dark were two luminous pillars of green-gold light and the mad cackling of Little Folk, creatures of the Undertown, and what looked like some questionable human thralls. Thomas put his hand on my shoulder and leaned in to whisper “this is Bob’s part.” As we crossed into a region of the Nevernever. Oh boy.

“Oh boy.” I said- the group went lax when Toot-Toot and Lacuna fluttered out, little bluebells lighting the way to a vestibule with big band music. If the bar we’d been in previously had structural holdovers from the prohibition era, this room of sin and revelry might have still had one or two paths to the 1920s in it. It might have been from the same territory Maeve had claimed years ago, albeit smaller.

“Eat your heart out Geraldo Rivera.” Will uttered as they came closer. Kincaid put away his gun when looked over the party that had started. Sure any one creature might not have been able to take on the Hellhound but a group could get the best of anybody. This was a sheltering of mostly harmless Fae.

“Did you know,” Kincaid began, “that the vault was real.” Mouse looked up and cocked his head to the side.

“Hmm. Apparently there was a  Sphynx that got quite upset no one asked her for permission to enter.” It was in a real life learning experience my mentor had given me-never presume that a treasure might be yours for the taking. If only he understood that. 

“Sir Knight!” Lacuna zoomed around them, taking charge.  “All the libations on this table are from Lady Sarissa. She’s sworn under Summer’s Oath that nothing will harm your people.” I nodded and me and Sanya went to examine the table- his vodka stash was still flowing well and he chose not to refill with anything other than what he had.

“Wait a damned minute.” Grey’s eyes narrowed in on Lacuna. “You’re the fairy that took my teeth!” Butters eyes everything like it was going to eat him which, fair, it might have on any other day. Sanya knocked into his shoulder and told him to calm down.

“We’re starting a game over here. Deal you guys in?” There were three poker tables set up around- one was actually seating a few of the little folk. I had gone to join a table when a mirror reflected one of the parlor tables- a James Dean looking reflection locked at me, winked, and turned back to the Fawn girl rubbing up his jeans.

“Yeah, deal me in. You in Toot?” Our Major General flushed fuchsia and eagerly went to the table, sharing a seat with Mouse who was carefully looking at his own hand. Lacuna tutted in the background. A human looking thrall started serving us drinks.  Grey glared at Lacuna, then everyone else at the table.

“I’m winning my teeth back. What’re you in for, Vampire?” Thomas flashed a bright white smile and flashed a flashier set of car keys.

…

“Shouldn’t we be going to get Michael?” Butters slurred as a friendly Gorgon started removing his sweater.  The liquor…was some strong stuff. There was a duo of Naiads that couldn’t see to get enough of Sanya either who’d joined Bob in the corner and carefully kept their cups full. The hands were dealt.

“It wouldn’t matter,” I muttered when Grey laid a wet open kiss on my neck, “time is different in the Nevernever.”

I’m not sure what Bob had done but there were defiantly aphrodisiacs floating around through the air. Once the wagers at the table started getting too high the fawn from before giggling suggested that we count kisses then.

“Just kisses?” Thomas didn’t have to leer. His eyes were the eyes you’d want to see in any bedroom affair and it had more than a few beings blush, even some at this table.  With a ruff and a woof, Mouse folded his winning hand and trotted along with a Cwn Annwn that had been lurking in the corner. Go him.

Thomas had gone somewhere off with the fawn- to each their own I suppose.  Toot-Toot had lost a kiss to Will, who wiped his mouth immediately.

“He tastes like pepperoni.” Will uttered disgustedly.

“My Dearest! Dearest! I am faithful to you!” Toot flew up, fell and took off again to chase after Lacuna. The music started to speed up into a weirdly familiar discord.

“I’ll not have you! You smell like dog now! They all smell.” Their speech became fast chittering at a level even I couldn’t understand. Someone in following their conversation I’d lost another hand. Grey’s eyes went that bright gold again and we’d both finished our drinks. The music got louder.

He leaned in close, lips nearly touching mine, and whispered, “my teeth, Wizard.” Anything that might have come afterwards changed when the music did-

Let the bass drop!

The calm sensuality of the evening was gone and Bob’s vision a modern orgy really began. A gnarly hand grabbed me from my back- Kincaid didn’t like – that, and shriek in wild abandon with the music, swung me around with superior Stretch. It looked like the banshee was going to be my first proper dancer parties of the nights.

More wails were heard and I supposed tie as nearing 3 am for this locality- not ghouls, but geists that could take form in the Nevernever.  The room stopped being fae or other, it was fea and everything that would declare neutral over the course of a night.  Loa were visible, ghosts from the haunted bar, spirits of all sorts.

Bob was there in the middle of it as the crowd washed over in a haze of pink and red again.

…

The party( or orgy as it was turning into) was going well. I felt like I was floating on air and nothing hurt for the first time in years. On some level I understood that the pain would come later as would the regret and probably a healthy dash of shame, but for now I followed Bob’s lead and reveled in everything before me.

Catching my breath in a corner with some water- thank god for Sarissa who kept all the good sense in her family- when Kincaid came over with a slightly worried like on his face, and a nice handful of glitter left in his hair.

“Dresden, I think we’re going to have a slight problem here.” Slight worry and slight amusement. I was about to ask what had happened when I stopped and gaped at Butters.

Or rather Butter’s ears. That he seemed completely unaware of. Suddenly Kincaid’s amusement meant so much more.

“Butters! Butters did you drink anything not from the table?” He looked puzzled and lifted up a flask, one that looked suspiciously like the one Sanya had been toting around all evening, but there were subtle differences, including that that it was stained copper, not steel. I put my hand on his shoulder to steady him away from a trio of faeries that were probably the ones who gave it to him if their tittering meant anything.  Kincaid removed the flask himself.

“Butters. Butters I’m going to need you to stay calm.” He was completely trashed so he happily nodded along as I lead him out of the room of distorted lights and into one of the better lit sewers. “Right. I need you to think back carefully. What did I say to never do with the fae? Particularly Sidhe?” He stared for a minute. “Butters!” I barked.

“Don’t make deals with Fae. Don’t give them gifts. Don’t eat their food.” He paled. “Or drink. But this is the Summer Court.” He’s made his opinion about Winter known on more than one occasion.

“And you’re kind of a jack-ass sometimes. Now it’s going to be literal.” I swatted at his Donkey ears that were slowly but steadily growing fur. He grabbed his ears and felt them to their tips and screamed. The scream turned into an honest to god Hee-Haw and the hands went over his mouth in horror.

In the limited light we could already see the tips of his fingers turning hard and black.

Kincaid came back with Will, Grey, and Toot-Toot in tow while I was holding a hyperventilating donkey-man from hurting himself.

“What the fuck.” Will uttered after dropping his beer. By now I’d had to slip down Butter’s pants to make room for the tail to grow.  “Whaaaaaat the fuck?” Will looked at the drink he had and threw it into the lower drain. Kincaid snorted.

“Don’t worry. It’s just the Knight here that drank too deep into Fae wines.” Butters brought himself together enough to stutter out, again, that everyone in there was from Summer. I kneeled to meet his eyes.

“Titania had her own donkey with the bard. Pinocchio is a summer fable. Donkeyskins is the Summer Court’s answer to Ashenputzel.” Give me credit it can’t be Star Wars all the time. These fairy tales were my life growing up and were once again. My mother had given Malcolm enough to have him know hich stories to pass on as close to gospel truth as he knew how. “Summer Court doesn’t mean nice, just as Winter doesn’t mean evil.”

I’m sure he’d learn eventually.

Grey frowned and looked closer at the ear, pulling on to one side. “Not a proper transformation. Sunrise?” He looked at me and I nodded.

“Sunrise.” I looked over at everyone and decided. “I hate to cut this short but Will, do you mind taking Butters up to the castle to sleep it off?” I loved my castle. Sanya might have won Thomas’ hummer but I didn’t even consider putting that on the table.

Butter’s shoes fell off with laxity as his feet finished their transformation into hooves.  The two shapeshifters looked a little green. I suppose the whole affair was gross to their nature of movement.

“I think the party’s over for me anyway. It feels late.” To some it might if they weren’t used to Nevernever time.  A series of bluebell fairies sparkling ahead and lit their way back to Chicago proper.

It wasn’t often that the Ways changed. It was part and parcel with being a part of the very structure of Earth.  When you’d got enough forces and a Titan stomping around a city to the point where reality becomes unbent….there are different outcomes.  They were my fairies and they’d lead Will and Butters to safety.

“I’m going to get Thomas and then hide away for a bit before Mab thinks I broke protocol.” Drinks make anyone chatty, okay?

“Protocol?” Grey asked as we headed back into the room with intangible bass thumping.

“Of Winter. Winter’s in effect  until Noon, Summer til Midnight. If Mab were to find out I tried to wrap up something for her wedding before Noon…ugh.”  Mouse stayed by my side and kept me steady on.

“Should have thought about that before signing onto the Winter Knight contract” Kincaid tried to say flippantly but the undertone was there. I suppose I was sober enough to start into in now.

“Yeah. If only some asshole didn’t let my body go in the cold and dark water while I was trying to avoid the freaken Winter Queen of Air and Darkness.” I snapped back. He seemed to think about it for a second before grunting.

I grunted back while Grey nodded in understanding.

At least those matters were settled.

…

“Okay!” I shouted at Sanya, who had many colored kiss marks on his face and neck.  “let’s find Thomas, wrap this up, bail Michael out of jail, and grab some Denny’s.” I figured if we stretched the time there and tipped the waitress well enough we could last until Noon. Damn, I hoped we could.

I might be good friends with exhaustion and pushing the limit but it’s been a long day, there’s been a lot of drinks. God, the dancers had seemed hours ago now.

I simply didn’t have much left in me. My brother and oldest friend did their jobs. Aside from a few mishaps this Bachelor Party was a success and I-

And I just got the psychic ping that someone was on Demonreach.

I dropped everything and opened the Ways, one at a time, until I dropped into the shoreline. Little brush fires were speckling the landscape, climbing ever so slightly up the hill.

Well, wouldn’t you know. Gentleman Johnny was a fire bug.

Chapter Text

His wife had called it a fools errand but he wasn’t getting any sleep anyway. Some of the other people he’d met with after…after that night, sort of got the feeling that if and when the Wizard showed up you sort of had to figure out what to do. Ernie swore he goes to Burger King uptown, but Randy didn’t believe that.

The fellow that had the lightsaber mentioned something about Michael having been brought into jail. Surprisingly it had only taken a quick google to figure out which station he was most likely being kept at. Randy kissed his kid and meandered out into the evening with his chuck of emergency cash savings to bail out a man he didn’t know for a Wizard that was drunk.

His cousin would never believe this.

The duty officer waved him through once he’d confirmed his purpose there. Knowing the Wizard, he didn’t know what to expect.

“There is no plan that we can understand. It has only ever been our job to be good to each other and help keep others from rolling into the tide. I’m sorry for having punched you, but what you might have done to Harry tonight would have left wounds on his soul.” Sitting in a chair, bawling his eyes out, was a blonde officer making his way through a box of tissues and a black eye.

“Jim, Karrin Murphy died as she had lived and never showed cowardice in the face of the adversary. Know your sister is at peace and let that soothe you.” In handfuffs was a man, maybe fifties with greying black hair and kindly eyes, comforting the cop he’d presumable punched. Randy coughed awkwardly.

“Uhm. I’m here to bail out a Michael?” The cuffed man raised his hand and smiled.

“T-There’s no charges,” the Cop, Jim Murphy, by his tags, sniffled and released the restraints. Michael rose and held Jim’s face.

“Do not let grief consume your life. There’s everything ahead of you and Karrin would be proud.” It brought a fresh wave of tears. Michael asked for just a moment, and went to the drunk tank.

“Marisol, remember what we talked about. There is no shame is needing help before helping others. God many not be your answer, but a community helps.” The woman in the cell nodded, teary eyed. Finally, Michael turned to him in the hallway.

“Sorry for that. I’m Michael Carpenter, I hear you have my bail?” he said with a smile.

“I, uh, I ran into the Wizard in a 7-Eleven.”

“Ah, yes. Watermelon-Lime/ Lemonade slushies.” Randy blinked and said that they’d been laid up by a hole in the ground. That brought an even bigger smile to the man’s face. Randy felt like he was looking at a warm summer day.

“Then I must thank you again.” They walked out of the precinct, the older man much slower before he offered, “I think you should come back with me.” Michael’s eyes sparkled with a joy, “We’re meeting the others at the castle.” Dumbly, Randy nodded and followed a man that seemed much sturdier than his walk suggested.

…

I wasn’t going to be foolish enough to look at the Baron of Chicago with my Sight, especially given his newest circumstances, but I still knew the man by sight. He wasn’t…he wasn’t as normally he had been.

His pants were fitted, sure, but there was no blazer or the and his shirt wasn’t tucked it, sleeves rolled up with bits of ashes and burning small holes into the cloth. It was his eyes that were different. Not the purple infernal glow of Namshiel, but his normally predatory green eyes were blown wide and reflecting in an almost phosphorous manner.

Like a cat staring you down in your own house.

Being on Demonreach was a startling experience after the parties. Air was fresh and cool for one, and I felt every bead of sweat I didn’t know I had one me whisk away in the wind. Aside from the fire it was a waxing moon, brightly lit on the waters. A night that it was safe for prey to emerge from their homes as if the predators didn’t have the same advantage as well.

“Marcone, can I ask what you’re doing here at fuck o’clock in the morning?” Still, vaguely high, and tired I wasn’t stupid enough to straight on approach a startled animal.

His spread his arms wide, “Is that something I have to answer you, Sir Dresden?” His voice was scathing and this was going to be fun. I grinned at him, showing all my teeth, and asked Alfred to hoist him into the air by his ankles. Three roots came alive from in the ground to wrap around Marcone’s ankles to do so. His was brought to my eye level, upside down and seething.

“It’s my island.” He clenched his teeth. A quick glance at his watch showed that it was maybe five to three am- we were at the cusp of the Witching Hour at the well of leylines even a novice sorcerer might want to get his hands on.

“It’s Walpurgis Night.” He bit out- this was not Marcone in top form. “My partner suggested that this would be the ideal place.” I blinked and let him down. There was a knife in my upper thigh but that felt almost numb at this point. He made a face at the smell, “Are you drunk?”

“Maybe.” The floor moved. “Probably,” I admitted, “it’s my bachelor party.” I wasn’t sure why I was getting so defensive at Marcone’s judgement.  It wasn’t like he was making good choices either.

Coming to Demonreach to life some metaphorical bonfires?

“Holy Crap. Cujo had you on a leash not the other way around.” I could see it. You don’t put a tiger in a suit and just hope the claws are out for a manicure. I rubbed my face and sighed, “Please don’t do that here. Next time I won’t be checking in person and the island will remove you however it sees fit.” I made sure Alfred could be seen so Marcone could understand.

Sure I was lying but I wasn’t going to tell him that.

“Dare I ask when this island became yours?” He straightened his pants and stared me down. I’d been a dick and didn’t quiet feel the need to stop being one.

“Right around the time you started buying castle pieces, I suppose.” His watched ding and-oh. Oh, no.

There are a few times in your life when you can go from completely drunk to absolutely sober in an instant. It’s a rush of adrenaline and fear along with some pure desperation.  I’d wanted to make a comment that only Sith deal in absolutes but my tongue was twisted up and all I could utter were curses.

Not the helpful kind, either.

“Wait, its Walpurgis Night! Shit, Shit.” I rushed around to the bonfires and tried to put them out. Whatever arcane magic Marcone used it wasn’t diminishing the flame. Lasciel didn’t even have this kind of refinement.  I could feel that bastard smirk behind me.

“Having some trouble Mr. Dresden?” That asshole. This wasn’t funny.

Demonreach was on fire and it wasn’t my fault.

A green hue came casting over the skyline as I dragged myself to a large boulder and took my head into my hands, “This is going to be an absolute disaster.” I recall in getting ready for tonight that I had to wrestle Thomas to be able to use my black trainers. That might actually save my life tonight.

Horribly, I saw Marcone was wearing shoes wingtip brogues on it because sometimes he acts more like a cartoon character than I do.

“I presume Mab pays you enough to afford shoes, Dresden, if you’re looking for the name of Italian work. Other than Ms Raith, of course.” I rolled my eyes. The save the date cards went out maybe three weeks ago and I was informed that not inviting Marcone wasn’t an option.

I happily scrawled that he didn’t get another plus one on his. Molly pretended she didn’t see so it was good enough for me.

I was pretty sure Red Cap was running numbers with Grimalkin on who, not if, was going to disrupt the wedding. I bore my teeth out to him again as another green cloud came into our reality.

“Go ahead, Marcone. Say her name again on this place of nights- do it. I dare you.”  He didn’t say anything and tensely walked over to me. I could see the fine hairs on our arms rising with the potent magic rising up from the ground to meet the calamity in the sky.

“Is your friend there,” I jabbed to his coin, “finally gaming you into the fact that you opened up a can of worms.” Uncharacteristically Marcone hissed and the angelic sigil appeared on his forehead for only a minute.

“What would you friends say?  You haven’t even tried to save my soul.” I gave him the side eye as he mocked me.

The thunder quelled the rest of our argument.

“So it begins.” I loomed over him and tapped his fine shoes with my sneakers, “I’d decide pretty quickly if I could run better with out without those on.” Marcone looked at me and kicked his shoes off leaving him in finer socks than I’d even seen in any department store.

For a while there Charity wondered who had more holes in their socks- Me, Molly, or little Harry. My competition all matured out of the ranking. “C’mon,” I offered like the host I wasn’t  as I lead him to where I had lived.

…

He fit in some of the shoes Thomas left to dry out and borrowed some of tactical pants that Molly kept around in case of emergencies.

“You seem shaken up by these events. I didn’t think unfriendly fire would scare you,” It was a dance we did, of a sort. I knew that he knew that I knew he was leading for information that only I knew. Murphy had once called it flirting but I wasn’t so sure.

Sometimes misery loves company, so I told him what exactly he’d done.

“Well, Sir Baron,” I drawled in my best imitation of Mab. “There are plenty of holidays and magic means as much as you make of it. What was your intention on lighting these Walpurgis Night fires?” I had to know.

Walpurgis Night was, pardon the irony, a two sided coin. It was a spring festival meant to ward off the evils of the dark and witches, but it had also become a point of opposite revelry for said witches and demons.

Went left the cabin and stared at the violent lights shading over the island.

“My…associate advised that like any practice it requires ritual. Walpurgis Night seemed reasonable.” I scoffed.

“You know that’s how he’s getting you right?” Marcone gave me a sharp look. “No, really. He’s replacing all your Catholic liturgy with something you’d view as very magical. He’s not asking you to take a black Sabbath,” Please, folks, be very happy I retrained myself from using air guitar “but to reason your way into another.” I lifted my hands in a pretend balance.

“One day you’re going to go and say Ave Maria and choke on it.” I let that sit in for a few minutes til the wind picked back up.

“As for what you did…with the exception of Lara, you and I are the most recognized in Chicago for the Supernatural.” We’d made each other that way for the damned city’s protection.  “On the island I’d claimed sanctum with numerous leylines…you light sacramental fire in open praise of magic. You let wild magic run free and do whatever it wanted.” A rookie mistake. The one an apprentice would make without a reasonable mentor to look after them.

Walpurgis Night was no Halloween…but isn’t certainly wasn’t a normal Saints Day.

“Well, all of those evil, evil Witches, demons, and Winter spirits have to go somewhere when they’re chased off. And who better than to lead a chase than the Lord of the Hunt.” I grinned at him.” And Wanna guess who qualifies for that now Johnny?”

Pardon my phrasing but a ghastly wind blew the fires up and out, ushering the island into cool darkness once again. The Erlking and his minions appeared on Demonreach, ready to coral whatever prey it wanted. Thankfully it wasn’t the proper Wild Hunt or the whole city would be shit out of luck.

No, it was just me and Marcone that were going to get fucked over this time.  

The Erlking laughed and his ride began.

Chapter Text

“Tell me,” I huffed out as we made the first lap around the island, ducking and diving the zephyrs and flames that came from the night, “how the fuck did you get here and is Gard showing up any time soon?” There was mud splashed on either of us when a particular nasty Malk tried to make off with both of our heads.

Marcone didn’t say shit.

“You motherfucker. You walked.” I don’t think I’d ever understand Catholics.

“If we wade into the water far enough it should be enough to get us out of the reach of the Hunt.” The was a hag flying around on her own broomstick trying to cut us off. Marcone was right about one thing we needed and that was distance.

“Not even the water. If we get to What’s Up Dock we’re technically off the island.” If we could safely make it there I could open the Ways back without being chased through absolutely everything awful through the Nevernever.

“Are you a child.” He turned sinuously and threw a knife into the hag to throw her off my trail.

“Dresden! Salutations!” My stomach dropped as the Erlking appears astride behind us on his steed, cackling louder than the hag.

Where I stood in relation to the Lord of the Hunt I had no idea. It was all I could do to keep up and drag Marcone with him to not fall to his beasts behind the thrall.

“I hope you don’t mind I’ve brought company to the revelry! It had been an age since we’ve had a proper hunt for the groomsmen.” Even from here I could see his uneven teeth and unhinged grin much like his own goblins (who were kindly dancing around us to wreck havoc). “Your spirit had invited all of Summer, after all. The rest of the party is coming.” He blew the horn and road off again, gathering more spirits and creatures that had been banished over the course of the night.

Bob.

Fix had tried to warn me but I thought his influence was in that one part of the Undertown not…I didn’t even put it together with the damn holiday.

“Dresden,” Marcone hissed and grabbed my arm further until I saw what he did striking around us in the small stream of Demonreach. It was a small herd of Ceffyl Dwr, or Kelpies if you preferred.

“Can you ride?” He nodded and we broke away from the Ekrling’s gait to catch them.

The trick to get anything to do what you want is food. Works on me nearly every time. Thankfully I had a few of the leftovers Mouse wanted from Mac’s still in one of my pockets to whet its curiosity til the magic happened.

We don’t always have to like who we are.

But I’m the damned Winter Knight and had taken part in the hunt twice now. No Kelpie was going to superseded my will tonight. It was an awkward gallop as I swung my legs over the beast careful not to hurt myself until i was properly astride the beast.

There was a splash behind me as the Kelpie slipped out of Marcone’s grip.

“HAND UP.” I screamed and made my first consciously dumbass move into the night. Well, dumbass unless I suddenly wanted to recreate the wildebeest scene from the Lion King. The kelphie whinnied when I made it turn around. We just managed to reach Marcone and hoist him up before more of the creatures came running through launching themselves at us.  My left ear nearly deafened as he shot two of the goblins that tried to latch on to us while the other wrapped around my waist for stability.

“The good news,” He started when the kelpie tried to buck us off. Some of Winter’s power kept that from happening again. “Is that I don’t think we’re the focus of the hunt. No offense was met this night, so far.” Marcone had a better clue for politics than I did.

Now that he’d mentioned it the creatures weren’t quiet focusing on clawing into us as they were running around and jumpign from rock to tree to stream, kicking up fires whoever they went.

“We’re nearly there.” We still had a job to do in order to get out of here and for what it was worth I had to trust Marcone to watch my back while I reigned in the Kelpie towards the dock.

“There’s someone coming!” I squinted. It was the Water Beetle with a couple of the lights on-some idiot blew the fog horn and drew in the attention for every creature, including the Erlking, who pointed right at it.

“Its Thomas and the rest of the party, I think.”

Oh, yeah. I sort of left my party and protection detail in the Undertown.

“You think?” Marcone defiantly hissed in my ear. “Wait. Dresden...is that...?” With some effort I guided the Kelpie to a slow stop and that was quiet enough for it. It whinnied one last time to bucked us off properly and galloped back over to the water.  We gained our bearings maybe twelve yards from the dock when I saw who Marcone was pointing to.

It was a single man in? On? Lofting himself into the water with a highly recognizable spear.

“What’s Vadderung doing here?” He whispered, quietly not to startle anything around when we ducked under the brush.

“Oh, fuck.” Everyone told me I had a simple vocabulary but sometimes two words can convery so many emotions.

Oh, is that the god Odin and defacto Winter King?

Oh, is he joining the hunt?

Oh, did he just strike the water with such a furious speed that a wave crested at over a hundred feet, carrying the Water Beetle into a direct crash onto the island?

I think the fuck spoke for itself even without Marcone’s repeated stamp of a approval.

The Erlking’s horse reared back at the sudden lighting strike; Odin joined the hunt with a renewed sense of urgency to run, hunt, and capture bled over us.

...

“Forget the boat. Get your people, get to the dock, and I’ll get us into the city.” Marcone was hurrying down to the scene of the crash with a flashlight while I batted away from the Gargoyles that had flown in and boy were their wings tired.

“Hear that THOMAS!” I screamed hoping my brother would pick up on the plan. Marcone counted five people at the crash. A red flare went up that provided some much needed illumination. The gargoyles groaned and pulled back at the automatic firing that was coming down.

“Kincaid, and probably Thomas.Maybe Goodman Grey and Sanya.”

“I’m almost insulted I wasn’t invited.”

“Yeah, because you’re absolutely the person I want to drink with. Fuego!” I fired at something crawling out of the water.

“Harry, what the hell?” Thomas was indeed there with a gaslight lantern, but he had rather different company. His blouse was open wide whilst still being tucked into his leather pants. Instead of looking as bad as the rest of us he was a penny dreadful cover.

Kincaid took point on the top of the boat, Grey ducking his head out of the broken hull. Standing around in far better shape were Sigrun Gard and Freydis. Gard tossed a gun to her employee and asked if he was okay.

“This..this dumbass,” man was it great to be able to use that word to describe someone other than me, “accidentally summoned the Erlking for the Hunt.” Thomas came to check me over, handing me a blasting rod he’d apparently started keeping on the vessel for emergencies and checked his own gun for ammo.

“Is that a wand or are you just happy to see him?” Freydis joked, knowing full well Thomas and I were brothers. In fact that had been a major selling point to her romantic fantasies. I shrugged, letting her know that after tentacles nothing on the boat surprises me anymore.

You had to be there and in hindsight none of them had been.

Marcone blinked and braved on while the confused look remained on Grey’s face.

“He was already invited to your bachelor party. I appear to have simply formalized the invite. I must say I’m surprised at your entourage.” His eyes kept flickering to Kincaid and Grey, as if uncertain to who he might need to undermine first.

“Outside contractor hired me to make sure Dresden stays alive.” Kincaid offered flatly after firing into the pack of gargoyles again.

“My condolences.”Sigrun rolled her eyes and immediately stood straighter while Freydis whipped to attention. A large hand clapped on mine and Marcone's shoulder.

“Evening gentleman, ladies.” Vadderung was not in any proper form for either of his known mantles, but dressed in what might have looked like chain mail tactical gear and a furred mantle.

“If you do forgive me for the abrupt landing I wanted to make sure everyone was here in good time to enjoy the hunt. I hear there is a marvelous stag to be caught tonight and wish you all the best.” Vadderung couldn’t wink. It wouldn’t have worked like that.

But he winked and damn near twinkled out of existence before another bolt of lightning struck the very ground near the Erlking. Another horn sounded.

Suddenly Marcone didn’t seem to keen on getting off the island and, you know, to thecomparable safety of Chicago, “Sigrun, take the west point and we’ll drive forward. Grey, if you’re amenable to payment what is the chances of taking the that little sound near the dock-“

“Hold it! We’re leaving. Right? ...right?” Thomas looked unsure and glanced over at Freydis before nodding.

“Harry, we can’t leave without insulting the Hunt.” Thomas grimanced and looked around. “We’ll need at least three laps and if we’re planning it had better be done soon. The Hunt’s starting to really dig in.” His eyes flashed silver. On an island full of killers the urge to be a predator wouldn’t be squashed easily.

“As Mr. Raith said. Now Grey-“

“I’m Marcone and it’s not a day that ends in ‘y’ if I don’t boss people around,” I mocked behind him. At least Freydis snorted. The plans Marcone might have had for Grey took a complete full-stop exit when the man himself transformed into a bull and tossed Kincaid into the air sailing even further with a donkey kick. Grey was snarling towards the hunt with the little goblins cheering him on aaaaaand he was gone.

Looks like hard feelings weren’t gone after all.

Sigrun jump over to Marcone’s side as a golden firework impacted the side of the boat and disoriented us for a minute.

“Fair hunting, Harry.” It could have almost been a mocking bleet from Eldest Gruff. Somehow the boat ended up back in the water and I knew full well it was a trap. Admiral Ackbar would have been proud. Less so with my screaming of

“SCATTER!”

In the golden light was the Hind that was appropriately sized for a dog.  My dog, that is, which is to say that it wasn’t. Three horns sounded in the distance that were almost as load as my groan.

...

Marcone and Sigrun took off like a jet with the precision that only a military tactician could accomplished. Having gotten passed whatever block he’d been having, he and his Valkyrie over took the kelpie again.

...

Grey was having fits all over the island, I guess a mix of suppressing his instincts and releasing various forms. For five minutes he was a tabby cat, until he sneezed into something with an exoskeleton. 

He was no where near the Hind.

...

Sigrun lost her suit jacket and sleeves to wrestle and ogre while Marcone took another shot at the deer.

...

“Harry, how’re you holding up?” I grunted and pelted three blast of pure energy over where a few goblins had been luaghing at us. Freydis’ followed with an axe which, frankly, scared them more. Thomas kept his eye out for the Hind.

“I wanted to play D&D!” I kicked a harpy in the face, “I had an expansion pack.”

“But no! Harry needs drinks!” The harpy was now on fire.

“And sex!” I grabbed a few feathers, sharpened them with Winter ice and stabbed them into the nearest goblin.

I grabbed Thomas by the shoulder, “Because you’re the best brother I could ask for.” Maybe I was a little delirious at this point because Thomas was looking worried, “I even only want to kill you  some of the time now.”

Now Thomas was frowning again spluttering about “some of the time.”. Freydis cleaved a hag in two.

...

All three of the big players got eyes on the Hind at the same time.

Eldest Gruff ended up three feet underground. The Erlking’s arms was hanging limp at his side. Vadderung was bleeding near his missing eye.

The sense of urgency tripled whilst all the beasts, phantoms, and people stuck in the endless chase starting feeling like a deadline was going to be hit.

...

Freydis frowned at everyone being less dressed than her and artfully ripped her shirt collor to show off her cleavage.

...

Pink started to crest and the urgency was a full on demand.Thomas and Freydis were posing like they were attempting to be in the next “Fae Fuck-up Monthly”.

I stopped and hit myself.

“Harry?” I shushed them to really feel out the ground, feeling...and there...

Alfred rolled the earth beneath the Hind’s feet.

Kincaid sniped it through the neck.

The Hunt was over.

Chapter Text

Quarter after six in the morning wasn’t very quiet during any kind of rush hour, not even if you were in small van owned and operated by the Chicago Mafia with a pair of valkyrie in the driver and shotgun seat.

Behind them was Kincaid wearing sunglasses, a smug expression, and a golden fur blanket that seemed to glow before dawn even broke. Across from him was Grey, face staring vacantly out the window with small boar tusks hanging from outside his mouth.

Then there was the back seat.

“Gard, can you put on Steeler’s Wheel?” The party row, if you would. “Hey, hey. When they said they’d meet us at my place was because they had a good time or...?” Thomas and Marcone answer in unison.

“A threat.” I knew I’d be making amends to Lara and Molly for the next few weeks. Clearly I understood nothing about this whole seating arrangement issue and how important it was, because here I am stuck in the middle of Thomas and Marcone.

“Right...” Well, fuck it. I took the  enchanted horn Vadderung had given the members of the hunt and drank the mead that never spilled, always flowed (for the next few hours at least). Ahead, Kincaid and Freydis seemed to be having a quick drink competition with Grey taking the time.

No one told Kincaid he still had a hoof mark on his forehead.

“Mr. Dresden, once we drop you-“ Sigrun Gard was a shining star of professionalism and getting her employers out of problems that caused themselves and others.

“Oh, no Ms. Gard.” But I was the freaken Winter Knight and would not bear the rest of this disaster alone. “I would never break faith with  Huntmates. You, Freydis, and Baron Marcone are all invited to complete the party.” I grinned as Thomas finally stirred from his daze.

“Harry, you can’t be serious.” This had all gone well out of Thomas and Bob’s control and I was going to see it to the end. There were a few more ‘low’ key unwinding drinks expected at my place...which should have happened several hours ago.

“I fucking am.” Grey laughed (tusks gone what a shame) and took a deep drink of his horn. I shared a look with the mercenaries up there and another nod to Freydis, who only smirked.

“Guess that mean’s you’re going to have to play catch up, Siggy.” By no means perfect, I watched her try to have a silent communication with Marcone via rear view window.

“It would be awfully discourteous.” She rolled her eyes and jabbed at the radio. It was not my request that played or even her personal theme. For the second time the refrain of Shots!Shots!Shots! blared from speakers.

Six-Thirty in the morning and the third wind of my bachelor party had begun.

...

“I really, really should be getting home.” Randy knew his wife was probably asleep and that he had already called out of work. For whatever reason, letting his boss know that he was bailing Michael Carpenter out of jail granted him a sick day,  with another serene smile from the man.

“You’re at the place you should be. Now, I’m guessing the others might be back soon.” Not long after getting Michael out of the precinct, they headed to the castle was the put into Chicago and now apparently property of the Wizards.

The Donkey man said the Wizard’s name was Harry. He’d tried to compare it to that book series once when an honest to god fairy zipped by and said they should not speak its name. Apparently the donkey wasn’t...wasn’t always a donkey.

With the fairy another man walked in- the Russian who’d instructed the soldiers at the Bean and had been walking ahead earlier that night.

“Da. Good friends come from anywhere.” Sanya, his name, leaned closer and whispered that Michael was hands down the best friends to have. Randy could believe that.

“Hey! Randy, help me with the table.” Will the Werewolf found a few storage tables covered in unknown gunk that they were pulling out with a few of the bottles of booze the others had to prepare for the night before thigns went “out of whack” as Sanya put it. There were a couple of cases of beer, some whisky, and a bottle of what looked like moonshine.

Randy looked at the Donkey and calmly put the unmarked bottle away from him. Whatever Michael was going to say next just stopped by the loud BANG and lightning bolt that hit the place. Without even thinking about it, Randy found himself against the wall, staring at the three figures that magiced themselves into the center of the hall.

Two of them he’d kinda recognized from that night, the last being a goat man with a staff.

“A feast! To follow a most successful hunt.” The man with the antlered helm yelled into the hall and clapped his hands. Where was once plastic tables being held stable by bits of carboard were now wood like something you’d see on a movie set. Food and drink magiced themselves on the table.

“The rest of the party will be arriving soon, have heart.” The Goatman addressed Michael who’d only nodded. Randy still had no idea what he was going here.

“You can eat, it will be fine. Herne doesn’t have too many times to host a celebratory hunt. Puts him in fine spirits.” The man with an eye patched nodded to the food and took a few slices of quiche for himself.

“They’re here!” Will let them know. Maybe a minute or two later the booming bass of “Sexy and I Know It” played way too loud for so early in the morning.

In staggered the man who’d been shooting everyone and a red headed woman with a torn shirt. Following was Gentleman Johnny and his secretary from all the tabloids. Then came the Wizard and two dudes neatly holding him up.

“To marriage! And future prospects!” The same man (Erkling as Sanya had called him) gave a toast. Somehow a chalice of something appeared in his hand that he felt compelled to drink.

It tastes like the best honey he’d never had, and warm white wine that made his toes to fingers tingle.

...

It was too early in the morning for us to still be drinking but we absolutely were. And maaaaybe the mead was a tad stronger than anything else we’d consumed until this point.

“Michael. Michael. Why. Who did this to you?” I wasn’t quiet stuttering drunk yet but the horn flowed mead like water. Smaller groups broke out after various toasts. It was looking more and more like that my bachelor party was the first excuse for everyone to get well and truly drunk away from their responsibilities.

“Was it one of mine?” Marcone took a lot of things personally. Although he might have been the current holder of a denarian coin, he’d also never let innocents purposefully hurt, or worse, ineptitude happen in his Chicago. If one of his paid off officer chose to make Michaels’ life difficult it wouldn’t end well for them.

Butters was over with the Eldest Gruff trying to transform back into a human. If Freydis’ laughter was any indication it wasn’t going well.

“Dresden, we should talk about your mother.” Remember any excuse to drink? The Erlking slung his arm over my shoulder and warbled out that deafening statement. “You, too.” He said at Thomas completely wide eyed. The slightest  edge of silver was emerging in my brother’s eyes.

I don’t think he ever really recovered from the skinwalker. He might never because of Justine.

“Uhh...” All these years of pretending to be a himbo left my brother believably speechless while diverting himself to another drink.

“Your Grace,” nearly everyone around me scoffed but I wasn’t going to end up the second hunt target of the night. The muddy clothes wouldn’t blend in anywhere in Chicago, nor would being shirtless help. “Do we honestly have enough to drink to talk about Margaret le Fay?” Call it a stab in the dark or a wizards intuition, or, you know, a complete bluff.

“You’re right. Vadderung! We need jagermeister.” The Erlking left us alone once Vadderung beckoned him over to the other table. It was a series of shots in front of Sigrun. Mouse and Kincaid were watching her employee pour her one after another in ‘fairness’.

I should mention that Toot-toot had systematically began robbing people of their clothing and items to ‘amend the virtue for hit girlfriend Lacuna.’ Sanya was nice enough to help  Randy climb onto the chandelier from a stair ledge and try to fight back against my general for his cellphone.

Grey was of no help in the matter,throwing the occasional piece of ammunition to Toot.

“Your mother?” Thomas hissed at Marcone to try and cut off the conversation and I tried to stop their confrontation.

I sort of wish I had another tentacle because then what had happened might not have.

In pushing the Baron of Chicago and my brother away from each other, I ended up flinging the horn out of my hands.

Which had been caught by Toot, two point assist from Grey. While Michael tried to back away from the Erlking’s insisatnce that he drink more, now.

Then maybe I wouldn’t have had them in a duel headlock when the door knocked Once. “Give me back my phone!”

Twice. “Hee-Hawwrry who’s at the door?”

Thrice. “Speak Friend, and Enter!” Bellowed Eldest Gruff, by far the most educated person in the room.

So entered Carlos Ramirez, Warden of the White Council and my former(?) friend and compatriot. So also broke the chandelier holding Randy and Toot-Toot up, crashing into a perfectly arc converging to collusion with said Warden.

And then Kincaid started shooting, again.

... 

The rules for civility were gone in Castle Dresden.

Kincaid decided that shoot first was his prerogative. Hell, maybe depending on what rumors I’d started hearing about Molly and Carlos this had been a side job for hire.

The two under my arms worked themselves free and drew knives on each other, circling with slight jabs and feints. Along the way myself, Will, and Grey started snapping out fingers because who doesn’t love West Side Story.

No, no don’t worry. I’m not doing any introspection on this. I don’t have to.

Whatever else they decided, Sigrun and Freydis moved quickly to get Carlos out from under the chandelier and pinned both arms against the nearest wall. Kincaid knocked a table over and braced a gun on Carlos.

Randy slowly worked himself out with the help of Mouse (mostly Mouse), looking like an absolute loon that lost his phone, his belt, and one shoe to Toot-toot.

“What bring you to these festivities, Warden Ramirez?” The Erkling asked, tightly coiled waiting for the answer. In the back of my mind I’d realized that twice Carlos had been in the impact zone of the Fae King’s magic and that maybe the third was a coin toss away from being handled badly.

“Holy shit is this the Quickening?” Grey whispered. Carlos glared at most everyone in the room, especially me.

“Your attack was no better than a clumsy child,” Michael countered in his best Not-Spanish accent, as he was the only one distinguished enough to be the original.

“Peace keeping,” Carlos spat, “No lies, Dresden. I’m here to investigate dark ritual magic- what happened here?” Sometime my mouth goes faster than my brain. Everything aside I did like the company I was presently keeping and that feeds into how you act. Ask any third year sociology student.

“I was born in 1518 in the village of Glenfinnan on the shores of Loch Shiel. And I am immortal.” Eldest Gruff startled.

“There can only be one!” Sanya shouted to prove my point. Unnervingly Vadderung was staring my down with a look that I knew meant trouble, sober or not. Maybe I should have spoken to the Erlking about my mother.

“Sorry, Los. My. That is...” I grabbed Thomas by the back of his shirt. “He’ll explain.” Thomas grinned so wide I could see the tips of his teeth in  half snarl as he looked at Marcone.

“On second thought I’ve got this. It’s my bachelor party! Have a beer.”

For everyone playing at home, let’s have a review.

It’s the bachelor party for me, The Winter Knight and ex-Wizard of the White Council that started and ended a wad, held on Walpurgis Knight while dark magic is floating around the city.

My Brother and brother-in-law, the incubus vampire who’s girlfriend is possessed by a creature outside our realm of existance.

Four mercenaries. Two of them Valkyries on the up and up, two being the scions of infernal or otherwise malicious beings. Three currently pinning Carlos down.

The Baron of Chicago and Big Time Crime Boss, hiding the possession of a Denarian coin.

Two Knights of the Cross, one former. One also being a Donkey. Unaware of the scaly demon in the room.

Vadderung, or Odin. Or Santa Claus. Dealer’s choice. The Erlking, a being created from the genesis of a Dark Hollow.The Eldest Gruff, confidant of the Summer Queen.

Randy. And-

“Huzzah!I am triumphant!” Toot-toot spring from my side holding three teeth pried from Grey’s mouth as a trophy for his girlfriend, a self proclaimed prisoner of war. Grey cursed behind me.

“...have two beers.”

Chapter Text

This could be it, I thought. I could tell Carlos the absolute truth.That my brother(in law) planned my bacherlor party and that Baron Marcone was a Denarian and set sacramental light on Demonreach. Turn him in.

Prove that I wasn’t turning into a monster hiding in the dark.

But like that stupid show the chandelier had come down and we were in the dark...and most of these  monsters were my friends.

“Sorry, Warden Ramirez,” I shrugged, “accorded affairs the White Council is not involved in.” Carlos looked around, specifically at the Big Three in the room, completely at ease. “If it helps,” I went on because I might not have personally dug my own grave once upon a time I’d certainly handed Bianca the shovel, “I can have everything disperse.” Screw whatever Mab would say.

“Please do so, Harry Dresden.” At least some of the people in the room looked offended on my behalf.

...

“Alright, I’m done. Been great, Wizard. Should do...something, next time. Not this. No, never want to do this,” Grey waved at the crowd, “again. Will, Randy, Butters. You have my Xbox info, I’ll grab multiplayer.”

This son of a bitch.

“Harry, don’t.” Thomas held tight on my arm from openly freaking out that other people were allowed to play games whenever they wanted.

“Thank you. Please take this in appreciation.” By rite I had to give favors of gratitude for all members of my bachelor party.Fix had gotten his set of twelve sided dice earlier tonight.

Grey looked at it, looked at me, sighed and left the castle.

...

“I’m going to make sure he gets home.” We sort of forgot that Will was naked for the better part of the night. He’d lose his clothes sometime after Michael got arrested and it hadn’t flagged any of our attention.

I’d graciously lent him a pair of sweats to get home. Randy was hoisted around his shoulder and between them might have been a full set of clothing for one person. The bystander looked vaguely dazed, blinking into the sunlight.  Both of them were holding  makeshift stable cloth full of food to bring home to their wives.

“Thank you. Please have these in appreciation.” Maggie had said to have extras just in case. Not even a teenager and showing more sense than I ever world. Will smiled at the moonstone dice I’d given him with a promise to pull it out ‘next game’.

I glared at Thomas.

...

Sanya wandered out next, taking the jade green dice with him.

“I can’t even use this to properly gamble,” the Russian blinked and then got a real wide grin, “Say, you’re portals open to anywhere? I’m thinking Monoco, next.”

“You sure you wouldn’t want to play just a round-“ I tried to rope him into the roleplay but got firmly and resoundingly rejected.

“Monte Carlo,” Thomas hummed. “At least one of your friends had taste. I’m even impressed with his drinking habits.” Of course my brother would side with anyone that stopped me from playing my games.

...

A pair of dice went to the Erlking, who grinned with his crooked teeth.

“This was fair game, Sir Knight. You’ll fit in nicely.” Mouse huffed even as the Lord of the Hunt scritched hind his ears.

“Fit into what?” Thomas whispered as I shook my head. Looks like there was going to be more questions added to the ice box’s pin up board.

...

Freydis left with her own pair, laughing, and backed away with finger guns.

“Plan it better next time! I’d like to really get into it. Lara wouldn’t mind...probably.”Another quick bow to Vadderung and the Raith hired Valkyrie was out.

...

Eldest Gruff took a little bit longer to leave one the party got gate crashed by Carlos. There was a brief conversation with the Warden and an even breifer one with Michael that no one seemed offended by.

I sipped what I thought was water.

It was, once again, Vodka from Sanya. If the son of god had divinity enough to turn water into wine, was this a tribute? A mockery?

I finished it anyways as Carlos scowled at me.

“Warden Dresden,” began Eldest Gruff. He also stopped me from speaking further. “Of many, no. Yet Warden you remain.” Ah, Demonreach.

“I should like to visit the graves of Lily and Maeve for a time. Would you be amenable to my greeting?” His goat-like pupil stared me down.  Eldest Gruff was one of the strong, oldest Fae of the Summer Court and had proof of his mettle in the stoles of former senior council members.

“It would be a pleasure to host yourself.” I bowed deeper than I had for pretty much anyone else at the recent events, before passing him him own set of dice. “And, have as thanks.”

Marcone, in conversation with Vadderung, glared at my bow.

“Her Grace won’t be mad forever.” Gruff said, lightly. Then shook his horns, “perhaps not plan on it. But not forever. Benefictions upon you.” He at least seemed mildly curious at the gaming dice sent his way.

“Harry,” Thomas finally spoke. “Why do you know the Summer Queen’s consul?” At least the jackass sounded a little worried about me.

...

Speaking of jackasses.

Butters was still looking a little wild around the eyes and mouth protruded more than normal, but the spell was wearing off.

“The others are going to need a set to match this,” I’d made sure he got one in crisp orange stone that would stand out when he rolled. The deadliest creatures were supposed to have the brightest plume to ward off others and this son of a bitch had a nasty habit of throwing checks into the game.

“Right! If we can get at least Andi to-“ I didn’t get to finish what I was saying due to Thomas manhandling/escorting Butters out of the castle.

“Yes, yes. Roll the die. Spot check. Coat Check. Rain check.” If he could have slammed the doors he would.

...

Vadderung took his exit next and with his the gallantry of the hall disappeared. I didn’t mind. Maggie would have had no place to ride her scooter with all the tables around.

Not even centuries old oak would stand up to Mister’s claws, either.

“Dresden. It’s 12 o’clock somewhere.” Just as improbably before, he winked taking his dice like a hard worn prize. There were words that I should be saying but it was late/early and I was still quiet drunk. Thomas said something to make the man laugh.

Granted it might have been at me but who could even tell anymore.

...

Michael took the dice and took me into a hug.

“I’m sorry for not coming when you were arrested.” He waved it off.

“My choices were my own. I may not wield a physical sword for the almighty but I am his man still.” He would say things like that as if he were completly unfazed by something as trivial as a fight with a cop. “The lord had always put me where I might have done the most good.”

He let go on the hug and had me stand straighter drunk as I was. “I believe he does the same for you.” He also nodded at Thomas. “Perhaps Lara might understand you as you need to be. Marriages have started with less than what you both have in common. My home is always open to you.”

Damn it all, I couldn’t believe someone was cutting onions this early in the morning.  

“This is why your my Best Man.” I sniffled completely ignoring the betrayed noise behind me.

“HE IS WHAT.” Thomas said in a shout. Mouse himself was howling in outrage- a few of the glass windows were shaking. Toot-Toot screamed that it would not stand; he’d duel for the privilege.

 ...

The clock struck twelve and my Bachelor Party was officially over even if some of the guests hadn’t left. The hired help of the evening pulled me to a corner. I slide him some dice, too, but Kincaid put them away.

“Harry. I don’t hate you.” Which is more than most people could say so I’d take it. “But I need you to understand something right now.” He was completely serious.

“What’s the matter, Kincaid?” No one was paying much mind to us in the shadowy corner.

“First, you need to stop inviting known enemies into your home. You’re a hazard to youself before any others are.” Its true, actaully. The man before me had been the only one to successfully kill me and it was at my own behest. I nodded, drunk but understanding.

“I can’t help it. It’s in my nature.” To want to believe that those I’d become close to wouldn’t hurt me like that. I had a strong sense of paranoia for any wizards but I’d bleed with most everyone in that room- most of them for me.

“And here’s my second point. You’re human, Dresden. You don’t have a nature.” A pit dropped in my stomach and I felt my fingers and toes get cold. Kincaid looked around and disappeared from the castle. The warning signs int he back of my head reared to life. Kincaid had been in service with Drakul. Had he gotten the same warning as me?

There were plenty of things I didn’t want to admit to myself. A couple,maybe a dozen of my new habits could be blamed on the Winter Knight mantle and I gladly did. Humans were in possession of Free Will. We had oaths, sure, but words did not bind us like Fae or otherwise mystical creatures. There was no innate drive in us except to survive.

That...wasn’t completely true with me, I was finding out.

Two months til I would have my talk with Listens-to-Wind. I could wait.

I hope.

...

John Marcone looked entirely put together for the shit we’d been through since last night. I’m willing to bet the drinks in his hand had been for decoration only. I passed Sigrun and him their own set of dice. I’d nearly pulled a third for Cujo and stopped. There was plenty still to get used to after the peace talks.

“This has certainly been illuminating, Wizard Dresden.” He shook Thomas’s hand, Mouse’s paw, and mine. Sounds like whatever mental calculation he’d done in his head it was the White Council he’d wanted to strike and not me.

“Incomparable.” I pulled out my SAT words just for him. Thomas muttered if I was going to ask him to be in the grooms party, too.

“I’m glad that we could renew our previously working relationship,” I waited for lightning to strike us both. “And am eagly looking to divest in shall we say, excessive arrangements in peacekeeping.” He’d slide his yes over to Carlos who took the threat for what it was. The White Council had crossed into his lines. Like a kid that had never learned to share, he’d licked me and everyone under my aegis so we were his in one way or another.

I frowned and looked at Sanya’s vodka. Well, not more of that for today.

“Indeed. For today.” I’d spoken aloud again.

“Farewell, Baron Marcone.”

“And yourself, Wizard of Chicago.”

...

“Here.” Thomas sensed that things were going to go too personal and started to clean up around the place. Well, his definition of clean up. He’d once tried to clean the place when living with me and accidentally made chlorine gas.

“What’s this?” I shrugged as he looked at the dice. “You came, sort of. It’s a gift.”

“Is this a bribe?” Now I had to roll my eyes and sighed.

“Yeah, to Marci the Dungeon Master if you want to sign up as an ogre. It’s for the weekly games, ‘Los.” I saw enough hesitance in his eyes without risking a soul gaze. It might not end the best for me depending on what he saw.

“Mab just lets you run off to play your board games?”

“She’s ten, maybe fifteen percent of the problems I have every week. I do have terms of service. I can occasionally fit in a game with my friends between the death, death, death, and lunch.” I said sarcastically.  Carlos still wasn’t happy.

“Damnit, Harry.” He shook his head, started to leave, stared and Thomas, sighed and fully left. The door shut. Mouse whined and head butted my thigh. Toot-toot buzzed and followed after to make sure Carlos left the city, his own dice attached to his belt.

...

To crash would imply there was damage.

Thomas, myself, and Mouse ended up on the couch and passed out in such a deep sleep that for half an hour I thought I’d died again. The sun was starting to set and finally, finally all signs of alcohol had gone from my body.

Bob was back with his eyes shining in the skull.

“Harry! What were you thinking?! Inviting my dad back here...” I gaped at my oldest friend and wondering what the absolute fuck was in Sanya’s vodka. I couldn’t begin to process that one.

“Got everything ready for us.” Us? Thomas yawned and woke up, pointing over to the table. Four seats for use and...

“My game!” I grabbed Bob’s skull and brought it over.

“Right. We modified the run through for three players. I’ll be the dungeon master. Course if you were really my friend you’d make that permanent at Casa Raith...” Bob trailed off. Mouse took up the other chair and the Monk figure. Thomas, a Bard.

“Enjoy it while it lasts.” Thomas smirked clearly thinking that between being a Knight, being a father, and being married that I wouldn’t have time for my role play games anymore.

“You mean forever? Sure. “ I grabbed the barbarian token. “Lara already agreed to let me make a character sheet for her,” I bragged.

The castle was quiet and lit only by fires. So forth went the campaign.