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He didn’t know how he ended up here. Standing in the giant entrance to the library, staring at the back of TJ Kippen, holding an umbrella that braced for the inevitable impact of rain. Watching as the blond’s hair got wetter and wetter as he sat on the bottom step of the giant flight of stairs. Maybe it was a bad decision. He could just ignore him and go back to the dorm on his own.
But he knew that was wrong. And if he was going to fix his recent string of bad luck, he wouldn’t miss a chance to comfort his friend.
Boarding school wasn’t the best. The dress code was strict, the dorms were musty, and the teachers were ancient. Earlier in the week, Cyrus had tripped in the hall and crashed into a display case, knocking over several trophies and earning a chastising from Dr. Metcalf. Then, the day after, he had to sprint across campus in an unflattering manner to get Jonah supplies for a community event the Ultimate Frisbee team was helping with. All the while, the dining hall had been out of chocolate-chocolate chip muffins for an entire week, and the toll it was taking on him was excruciating.
And then today. His plans to go canoeing with Andi and Buffy were thrown out the window when raindrops started hitting the roof of the library. After that, Cyrus found it impossible to focus on studying. He left the building in disappointment, only to be frozen in place once out the doors.
He had no idea why TJ Kippen was sitting out in the rain. And he wasn’t going to ignore his curiosity.
He gripped his umbrella over his head and made down the steps, trying his best to be quiet and not disturb the peace. His friend hadn’t moved, too busy staring at a spot on the path in front of him, deep in thought. Cyrus could tell that something weighed on him. Even from behind- the way his shoulders were sagging, the tilt of his head down to the ground. If Cyrus could do anything to help, he would. No questions asked.
He took a breath and held his umbrella out to cover both of their heads, his hand shaking in the slightest way. He almost hated getting butterflies around the other boy.
TJ furrowed his eyebrows and looked up at him, his confusion turning to amusement as he realized who was shielding him from the rain. “Oh.” He gave a light smile that made Cyrus’ heart somersault. “It’s you.”
“Yep.” Cyrus flashed his teeth in a grin.
TJ shook his head. “Why am I not surprised?”
Cyrus kept his smile as TJ stood up to properly hide under the umbrella. “Maybe it’s because I’m your friend. And I’m nice.” He gripped his bag on his shoulder, trying to not think about how cold the atmosphere was. “Now. Why are you out here alone in the rain?”
TJ blew a strand of wet hair out of his face. His eyes were such a bright shade of green- Cyrus had never gotten over it. On the first day they met, he had accidentally stumbled into him in the courtyard, not realizing he was Buffy’s (now formal) basketball rival. Cyrus immediately knew this guy was caring at heart, no matter what others said about him.
And over the past two years, he’d been proven right. TJ Kippen was as soft as it comes, even if he wouldn’t let everyone see it. Playing the piano and teaching elementary school kids how to do somersaults- Cyrus knew it all too well.
And he supposed TJ did, too. He gave Cyrus a defeated look, knowing he couldn’t hide anything from him.
Well… almost anything.
“I just…” Today, there was a bit of a veil in front of his eyes. “I was just thinking. I’ve had a lot on my mind lately.”
He wouldn’t give him the whole truth.
Cyrus respected his privacy, but he wouldn’t give up so easily. He raised an eyebrow. “So, you came out here in the rain?”
TJ smiled and put his hands in the pocket of his hoodie, not that it did anything to help keep them dry. The boy was soaking wet. “Yeah. I thought you knew that rain is supposed to help.”
“Oh?” Cyrus took the last two steps down from the stairs to stand on the pavement with TJ. “Help with what?”
His friend’s face stiffened again. He stared back at Cyrus, as if words were trapped inside his mouth, struggling to form and get out.
Cyrus sighed, knowing when to give up. “TJ, I can’t help the rain help you if you don’t tell me anything. But if you don’t wanna talk about it, it’s okay.” He gestured down the path. “I can give you cover back to the dorm, though.” He tried for a bright grin again. “If you want.”
TJ nodded, his smile flickering back. “Yeah. That would be great.”
Several minutes went by, the two of them walking down the path in peaceful silence as the rain continued to pour down on the campus. The wet grass and trees gave off earthy scents mixed with the petrichor that already hung in the air. Drops hit the pavement in large splats as they passed under branches and arches.
Halfway to the dorms, TJ spoke up. “I’m sorry, Cyrus. I don’t want you to think I don’t trust you. It’s just… I have a lot to sort out. And when I do, I’ll let you know. I promise.”
Cyrus glanced over at him. “It’s okay. If it’s so important to you, I can wait.”
TJ seemed thrown by this. He scrunched up his eyebrows, shocked. “Really?”
“Yeah, of course! I’m your friend, Silly. It’s only right I respect your privacy.”
TJ stopped, staring at Cyrus as he took a few steps ahead before turning back to look at him. His brown eyes were so big- so genuine and caring. He didn’t know how any of it could be real.
“Do you ever…” TJ pulled at the strings of his hoodie, anxious from the question he was about to ask. “Has there ever been a time where you’ve been around someone and they make you nervous? Like a self-conscious, sweaty hands, don’t say the wrong thing and look stupid kind of nervous? When your heart beats so fast that you feel like they can hear it? But you can’t look away to calm down because you’re just so… mesmerized?”
Cyrus stood still, breathing in the air, counting in his head as he tried to think of a response that was fitting. One. Two. Three.
Another breath. He gave a heartfelt smile, hoping everything he felt would play through his face. “Everyday,” he said.
TJ scanned his face. He looked like he was trying to pick his next words carefully. After several beats, he asked his next question. “What is it? That feeling?”
The cool air circulating between them suddenly felt electric. Like someone had short-circuited the universe and stopped time just for them.
Cyrus tried to remember where he was, and failed incredibly. He couldn’t even feel the umbrella in his hand. It was just him and TJ. Nothing else.
“Love.” It came out as more of a whisper than a real answer. But he meant it. All those mornings where they shared muffins and secrets. Every basketball game Cyrus had attended. Every jerk TJ had chased away from them. That time they almost got suspended for riding in a golf cart on campus grounds. The time they went to a party and danced the night away.
It was all there. Cyrus had known for a while, but he didn’t want to ruin anything. He couldn’t lose his relationship with TJ. Not after they’d come so far.
But saying this, right here and now, with the fearful yet hopeful look in TJ’s eyes- he couldn’t pass the opportunity.
TJ’s anxious demeanor melted, as if the world had been lifted off his shoulders. He bit his lip and gently reached for Cyrus’ free hand. Cyrus happily took it, sliding their fingers together, locking TJ’s cold digits with his warm ones.
TJ took a step forward, nearly closing the space between them. He smiled a genuine smile for the first time that day. “I think I’ve sorted it out now.”
Cyrus grinned up at him. “You can tell me. If you want.”
More breathing. It seemed like the only thing left that Cyrus knew how to do. And then he lost that, too, as TJ placed his hand on the side of his face and kissed him.
His lips were cold from being out in the rain. But Cyrus’ were warm from being under the cover of the library, and then their umbrella. Neither of them cared.
TJ’s wet hair lightly touched Cyrus’ forehead, his nose fitting perfectly next to his. Cyrus didn’t mind that he had to hold an umbrella to keep them dry. Or that his heart had stopped beating. He’d been waiting for this for months, and it was every bit as perfect as he imagined it would be.
TJ reluctantly pulled away and beamed down at him, like he’d never seen anything more meaningful in his life. Cyrus was just surprised he could still think.
He squeezed TJ’s hand. “You really mean it?”
TJ squeezed back. “Yeah. I really do.”
And suddenly, the string of back luck that had followed Cyrus around all week lifted, and all the bad things about boarding school didn’t matter.