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Dinah isn’t sure what brought them here.
Here being sitting together on the couch, soft music playing in the background, glass of wine in hand, knees tucked close to their chest, talking and laughing as if they’ve been friends since forever. It’s so different from where they used to be - what they used to be. Dinah isn’t sure what brought it on, but she’s grateful for the change either way.
She’s glad that she can now sit here with Laurel and talk about life as if they were never at each other’s throat. It’s almost like that was a whole other life and they’ve both let it behind them. It’s weird to think about, but Dinah almost thinks she’s a totally different person compared to how she used to be.
So here they are. It’s Friday evening, they just had takeaway dinner and now they’re sipping wine on the couch as Laurel talks about Canary training today. Dinah couldn’t take the shift because she had to be at the Fish Net, so Laurel was training cadets. They’re a whole handful but Dinah loves them and she’s sure Laurel does too.
“Vitani almost smashed Yax into the wall,” Laurel chuckles, “You should’ve seen their faces. Vitani didn’t know what to do first. Yax thought it was hilarious.”
Dinah rolls her eyes goodheartedly, taking in the beautiful smile on Laurel’s face. It’s only recently that the blonde had started to let down her walls enough for Dinah to see her like this. It used to be different. They were friendly, sure, but Laurel still had walls up that wouldn’t let Dinah come too close. As if Laurel was scared that Dinah was still going to try and hurt her. But the last couple of months things have finally been better. Dinah would really consider Laurel her best friend.
“How was your day?” Laurel asks then after sipping her wine. She eyes Dinah curiously. “You haven’t really said anything about it.”
Dinah shrugs. “Nothing really happened. I was on shift with Nuka which was fun as usual.”
“But?”
“But there was this guy again, the same one from the other night, and he was being such a dick. Nuka was about to pounce him but I just cussed him out in Spanish and he left, muttering shit about how I should go back to where I came from.”
There’s a soft smile on Laurel’s face as she looks at her and Dinah feels like her insides are about to catch fire. She’s catched Laurel looking at her like this multiple times over the past few months, but she never tries to let her hope flicker up too much. There’s no way.
“I keep forgetting you speak Spanish.” Laurel admits, looking down at her glass quickly, “You never do it around me.”
“Yeah, I, uh,” she hesitates, “I never speak a lot of Spanish. Not anymore at least. Ever since my mom died it hasn’t really felt the same. I don’t know how to explain it.”
Laurel sighs softly, knowing all too well how it feels to lose a parent. “It makes sense. I get it.”
They sit in silence for a while, drinking their wine as their minds wander. Dinah listens closely to the song playing- one of her favorites. It reminds her of Laurel and their friendship, how complicated yet beautiful it is.
Dinah has known about her feelings for Laurel for a long time. She had tried to shove them away at first, had tried so desperately to pretend they didn’t exist, but it was all for nothing. The more she pretended, the more obvious her feelings were to her. They were impossible to ignore. She likes to think that at least Laurel doesn’t know about her feelings for her, so at least she’s got that going for herself.
But on nights like tonight it’s hard to not let them show. It’d be so easy to let her walls down just a little bit. Maybe just reach out to hold Laurel’s hand or kiss her cheek softly. Dinah thinks it’d be so easy, but it’s also terrifying. What if Laurel doesn’t feel the same way? Or what if she does, but it all goes to shit anyway?
“I don’t even speak another language.” Laurel says after a while, twirling her glass in between her fingers, “Dad always tried to get me to pick up a second language, like French or literally anything, but when he died I never bothered again.”
Dinah feels something tug at her heart, begging her to reach out to comfort Laurel. They’ve never been super intimate, but they do share the occasional hug sometimes. Dinah loves it when they hug and she always holds on for a little longer than she probably should.
But just as Dinah is about to reach out Laurel clears her throat, making Dinah snap back to reality. She can’t let her feelings get ahead of her.
“You don’t speak about him often.” Dinah remarks softly, not wanting to press too hard.
“You don’t speak about your parents often either.”
And, fair. Dinah smiles, just a little, but enough to let Laurel see. They share a glance that sets Dinah’s skin aflame, makes her feel more alive than before. There’s a sparkle in Laurel’s eye that wasn’t there before, almost as if she’s daring Dinah to ask- to dig deeper. But Dinah won’t. There’s a time and place for such things and she feels like tonight isn’t one.
Laurel seems to notice, because she just chuckles and shrugs her shoulders lamely, her head tilting to the side. For a second it seems like she’s considering something, but the look in her eyes is gone as soon as it’s there. There’s still so much Dinah wants to ask. Or say.
“There’s still a lot I don’t know about you, Dinah Drake.” Laurel says, as if she’s reading Dinah’s mind.
Dinah feels her cheeks flush at the use of her full name, but she’s not sure whether to blame it on the wine that’s slowly getting to her head or the way Laurel is looking at her. As if she’s trying to decipher her, trying to figure her out. It makes Dinah feel nervous, but also a little bit more bold.
“I know.” Is all Dinah ends up saying, not really sure what else to respond to a statement like that.
It’s not that she doesn’t want Laurel to know everything about her, she’s just not sure what it would all mean. Why does Laurel want to know so much about her? What kinds of things does she want to know? She already knows the most stupid things about her, like the way she takes her coffee or what she looks like when she’s just getting out of bed. She’s seen Dinah in every possible state possible.
“Do you want to tell me something in Spanish?” Laurel asks then, looking bashful. Almost as if she’s scared to ask.
Dinah’s first instinct is to roll her eyes, because she’s been asked this so many times. But never like this. Never this softly, almost bordering on shy. Laurel is looking at her like she holds all the secrets in the world and how could Dinah ever tell her no? It’s especially when Laurel looks back up from where she was looking at her hands still wrapped around her glass, peeking up through her lashes, that Dinah’s heart stutters in her chest and she caves. With a soft nod from her, Laurel’s smile brightens.
Dinah tries to think about what to tell her, tries to think of the stupidest things to tell her. Maybe some cuss words or other stupid things that Laurel has no use of. But when she looks at Laurel and lets her eyes linger her mind can only come up with one thing. But Dinah can’t say that, even if Laurel doesn’t understand a word of Spanish. She would definitely understand that. Dinah can’t risk it. So she settles for something that she hopes, from the bottom of her heart, that Laurel won’t figure out.
“Estoy loca por ti.”
There’s a second where Laurel’s eyes widen and Dinah fears she’s absolutely done for, but then Laurel frowns. “What does that mean?”
And Dinah could easily tell her the truth. She could just tell Laurel that she’s absolutely crazy about her, that she has feelings for her, that it’s somehow easier to tell her in Spanish than it is in English. But she panics.
“It means that you’re crazy.”
And it doesn’t, but it puts a wickedly big smile on Laurel’s face so Dinah figures it’ll do. For now.
••
It kind of becomes their thing afterwards.
Every time Laurel does something stupid or cute and Dinah feels like she’s about to burts she just tells her that same single phrase. Over and over and over again. And sometimes Laurel says it back. Mostly when Dinah is drunk and acting like an idiot, which happens rarely but it always makes Laurel smile.
It becomes a habit.
Dinah tries not to say it too much and only when Laurel is acting funny. She doesn’t want Laurel to figure it out, she doesn’t want to have to explain herself. She doesn’t think Laurel would take it well. It’s not that she’d be mad at Dinah for having feelings or for keeping them from her, but Dinah knows that she doesn’t do well with emotions and they’re still hard for her to express them.
She doesn’t want to push Laurel. All Dinah wants is to have Laurel in her life forever. No matter which way.
It’s been months of Dinah telling Laurel stuff in Spanish. Always things she won’t remember. Like a few weeks ago she started giving Laurel a new nickname. She didn’t explain what it meant to her, but she thinks Laurel understands anyway. They’ve never really used nicknames before, but it’s different now. Everything feels different.
Dinah doesn’t think that Laurel knows she has feelings for her, not at all, but something has shifted and Dinah doesn’t know what it is. It’s hard for her to put her finger on. It’s somehow exciting and terrifying all at once.
So when Laurel gets back from training that evening Dinah has finished cooking dinner. She’s putting everything on the table just as Laurel walks out of the elevator. She looks a bit stressed, tension between her shoulders, but she seemingly relaxes at the sight of Dinah. She sighs as she drops her duffle bag next to the table, her right hand going to the back of her neck as she squeezes the skin there softly. Dinah frowns at the pained look on her face.
“Everything okay, cielito?”
Laurel’s face brightens at the nickname Dinah’s been calling her lately, a soft blush rising on her cheeks. Dinah knows that she doesn’t know what it means, but she also knows it sounds cute and affectionate. She doesn’t really care.
“Yeah, I just-,” She sighs, “It was stressful. Vitani gave me a hard time.”
“She’ll come around, I promise.” Dinah reassures her, softly grasping her upper arm and squeezing gently. “I made dinner.”
It’s all awfully domestic, Dinah realizes, but she doesn’t mind. And judging the look on Laurel’s face, she doesn’t either. They have their dinner while talking a bit more about work- Laurel tells her about Vitani’s latest escapades and Dinah talks about her shift at the bar. It’s nice and everything is going so well. But then Laurel’s face falls and she sighs, rubbing the space between her eyebrows.
“What’s wrong?” Dinah asks, putting her knife and fork down beside her plate.
“I forgot the kids are coming over tonight.” Laurel mutters, “That was tonight, right?”
Right. They’d invited everyone over for drinks tonight, because it’s been a while and their last mission was a success. Dinah takes note of the expression on Laurel’s face and feels the need to cancel. On the other hand she feels like it might help Laurel feel a bit better. Where she likes to pretend the kids annoy her, Dinah knows she gets a lot of love and support from them too.
“How about you go take a shower and I’ll get everything ready?” Dinah offers.
“Are you saying I smell, Drake?”
Dinah laughs, shakes her head. She feels the urge again to tell Laurel again, but shoves it down. Laurel seems grateful for the offered break, because she gets up and grabs her duffle bag before walking past Dinah and squeezing her shoulder as she does. They share a quick look and Dinah sends her a wink before she realizes.
It’s only when Laurel has disappeared into the bathroom that Dinah realizes she did that. Her cheeks flush as she hopes that Laurel didn’t notice. At least she didn’t say anything about it. Dinah starts cleaning the table and doing the dishes as she realizes the time. She hears the shower run and tries not to think about Laurel, but it’s hard when she’s all Dinah can ever think about.
So when the shower stops just as Dinah finishes with the dishes, she feels her heart jump. It’s also then that she hears the elevator come up, announcing their guests are about to arrive.
Dinah quickly grabs some beers from the fridge and has them all opened just as the doors slide open and Mia, Zoe, Bianca and William all walk in. There’s smiles on their faces and they’re chatting animatedly. It’s Zoe who spots Dinah first and she immediately goes in for a hug.
“Hi aunt D,” she says happily, accepting the beer Dinah holds out for her. “Where’s Laurel?”
“Showering.” Dinah says, “She’ll be out soon. She had a bit of a stressful day at training.”
Mia scoffs. “Tell me about it. I have the bruises to prove it. Vitani isn’t one to mess with.”
Dinah laughs, now offering Mia a beer as well. She happily accepts and takes a big gulp, eyes closing as she drinks. Dinah already feels better having her little family here. She feels responsible for these kids, almost like they’re her own.
They all take a seat on Dinah’s couch and she listens as the kids start one of their eventful stories once more. It’s only when Laurel walks down the stairs, hair still wet from her shower, that Dinah’s attention drifts away. She watches how Laurel walks towards them, grabbing a beer on her way. All the make-up’s been wiped off her face and Dinah just wants to kiss her. She looks so small and beautiful and cuddly and Dinah hates herself for thinking like this. Laurel could easily beat her ass if she wanted to. Yet all Dinah wants to do is protect her.
“There she is,” William laughs, “We almost thought you’d forgotten about us.”
“Of course not.” Laurel mutters, laughing softly, “I could never.”
She joins them on the couch, dropping down next to Dinah, and easily falls into conversation with them. Dinah tries to not pay attention to the way their thighs are touching or the way she could easily hold Laurel’s hand if she wanted to. Dinah wants to reach out to grab her hand, let their fingers intertwine as if they’re supposed to. But then she glances up towards Laurel’s face and her bravery leaves her.
So Dinah tries to focus on the kids and their stories. They drink more than they should and it’s all to celebrate and Dinah hasn’t felt this happy and light in ages. The more beers she has the more she feels herself slip on the couch, leaning into Laurel.
They’re now at the point that Laurel has her arm draped over the back of the couch, Dinah leaning into her chest just slightly. She’s laughing, throwing her head back onto Laurel’s shoulder, and if Laurel feels a bit tense behind her she doesn’t notice. What Dinah does notice is the look Mia sends her afterwards, when she’s calmed down from her laughing fit, as if to say so what’s really going on, huh?
Dinah ignores her.
She goes to grab them all more beers and sighs in disappointment when she sees they’re the last ones. Good thing she still has some downstairs. When everyone has their beer they decide to play games. They start with some try not to sing along game on YouTube, but quickly go over to Never Have I Ever. Considering they’re older than the others it’s safe to say that Dinah and Laurel both have more to drink than the others, but it’s all fair after all.
“I’ve run out of beer,” Bianca says, shaking her bottle in her hand.
Dinah gets up from the couch, only a bit wobbly, “I’ll go get us some new ones downstairs, I’ll be right back.”
“Will you be fine?” Laurel asks, reaching out a hand to steady Dinah as she walks past her and almost trips.
Dinah sends her a quick smilde, eyes sparkling. She trips over her own feet, but still nods. “Perfectly fine, cielito.”
Laurel fondly shakes her head, a smile on her face as she looks at Dinah. “Ah, estoy loca por ti.”
It’s one of the few times Laurel says it back and even though Dinah knows that she doesn’t know the actual meaning, it still makes her heart speed up in her chest. Her Spanish isn’t great either, but that’s what Dinah loves about it. Loves about-
She shakes her head to herself, not being able to help the blush rising on her cheeks. She quickly makes her way towards the elevator, trying to stop smiling like the dumb fool she feels right now.
Laurel watches her go until Dinah disappears into the elevator, only turning back towards the kids when the doors close. She’s surprised to find them all looking at her with wide, surprised eyes.
“What?”
“Nothing,” Mia starts, “Just-”
“So y’all finally fucked?” Bianca asks.
Laurel’s eyes widen. “Excuse me?”
Zoe shoves her harshly before turning towards Laurel. “What Bianca is trying to say is that we’re glad you both have finally got your head out of your asses and got together.”
“We’re not- What?” Laurel asks, feeling her cheeks redden as panic creeps its way into her body, “We’re not together.”
Zoe frowns. “You literally just told her you’re crazy about her.”
“What?” Laurel says again. She can’t believe this is happening. “That’s not what I said. I called her crazy.”
“You what?” Mia asks, knowing enough Spanish to know that’s bullshit.
Laurel sighs. “Dinah told me that’s what it means. That the other person is crazy.”
Zoe rolls her eyes and slaps herself against the forehead. “That dumb bitch.”
Laurel needs a moment. She’s not sure she understands what she’s hearing. So Dinah’s been saying that she’s crazy about her this whole time? What does that even mean? Laurel doesn’t want to get her hopes up, but she also knows that’s not something you just tell your friends. Right?
“I think you guys broke her.” William says softly.
Laurel blinks herself back to reality. “So what are you saying?”
Zoe shrugs. “That Dinah hasn’t been telling you the truth. And that you just said you’re crazy about her. Because that’s what that means.”
And oh shit.
Laurel’s first instinct should be to run and pretend this never happened. Pretend she never heard Zoe explain it, pretend she doesn’t know the exact meaning. But Laurel is bordering on drunk so she’s bold and brave and a little stupid.
Before she knows better of it she’s gotten up from the couch and is stalking over towards the elevator. The kids are yelling at her, asking what she’s going to do, but she ignores them. As she presses the button to the ground floor she feels the nerves running through her veins. Why wouldn’t Dinah tell her the truth? Why did Dinah tell her she’s crazy about her, in Spanish, but can’t do the same in English? Why are things so complicated when they could be so simple?
It’s not that Laurel has never thought about it. She thinks about Dinah often, finds herself daydreaming about what it’d be like to be together. Like that. She doesn’t know if it’s the alcohol or Zoe’s explanation, but it’s now clear as day that Laurel has feelings for Dinah and she’s had them for a while. And maybe she did know there was something off about Dinah’s explanation, but she was too scared to ask.
When the elevator reaches the ground floor and the doors open, Dinah just reemerges from behind the bar with a box filled with beer bottles. At the sight of Laurel she drops them on the counter, leaning against it with a smile on her face. Laurel would have faltered if she were sober, but the alcohol is making her bold and the smile on Dinah’s face is making her feel braver than ever before.
“Estoy loca por ti, Dinah.”
Dinah frowns at the serious look on Laurel’s face, but decides to play along. “Did you come all the way down here to call me crazy?”
Laurel sighs and walks over towards her. “You know exactly what I said.”
Dinah feels nervous, because it almost seems like Laurel finally knows what it means, but that would be impossible since Dinah didn’t tell her. She nervously grasps the box of beers in one hand, the other running through her hand quickly, tugging at her curls.
“Exactly, that I’m cr-”
“Bullshit.” Laurel says, coming to a stop in front of her. One step closer and they’d be touching. “Why didn’t you tell me what it means?”
“I did tell you what it means.”
“Fuck sake, Dinah!” Laurel exclaims, not wanting to get angry but not knowing what to do wit all the emotions she’s feeling. She just wants Dinah to be honest with her. “I know what it means. Zoe told me.”
“Zoe speaks Spanish?”
“Not the point!”
Dinah knows Laurel’s getting annoyed and to be fair she understands. She just doesn’t have the nerve to tell her the truth. Because she knows if she starts talking she won’t stop and she’ll share all her secrets and all her feelings. Dinah’s just not sure if she’s ready for that. But the alcohol is making her feel lighter about things and the longer she stares at Laurel the more Dinah feels like she doesn’t care.
“You know what it means?” Dinah asks, averting her gaze, tapping the box nervously.
“Yes.”
“And now you’re here?”
“Yes.”
Dinah blinks up at her, not sure what to say now. Laurel just reaches out to put her hand over Dinah’s that’s on the box, still resting. She steps closer just enough that she could touch Dinah if she wanted to and it’s making Dinah feel lightheaded. She figures the beers aren’t helping.
“So, let me ask again,” Laurel whispers, glancing at Dinah’s lips, “Why didn’t you tell me?”
It’s because of the way Laurel is looking at her that Dinah does what she does. She figures words won’t help her, so she does all she can think of in her current state. Dinah leans in, her hand brushing against Laurel’s hip before pulling her closer, and presses their lips together. Laurel freezes for just a second, but then she melts into it and kisses Dinah back.
She presses herself against Dinah, their lips moving against each other softly. Dinah ends up untangling their hands from each other to cup Laurel’s cheek and hold her close, pressing soft kisses against her lips now that Laurel will let her. She’s not sure what it means but she knows she doesn’t want it to end.
But then Laurel pulls back, staying in Dinah’s reach. “So, you’re crazy about me?”
Dinah laughs softly and shakes her head, “No. Estoy enamorada de ti.”
“What does that mean?” Laurel asks, pulling back far enough to look her in the eye. “The real meaning, please.”
Dinah looks at her, still feeling high from kissing Laurel. “That I’m in love with you. And I have been for a while now.”
“Oh.”
Dinah doesn’t know what to make of the look on Laurel’s face so she takes a step back, breaking all contact. Laurel immediately reaches for her, their hands tangling together as she pulls Dinah closer, back into her personal space.
“You are?”
And it’s in the way that Laurel asks that Dinah knows this is right. Laurel looks vulnerable and scared and a little excited and it warms Dinah’s heart. Laurel looks so hopeful that Dinah can’t help but lean in to kiss her again. She feels Laurel relax as they kiss.
“I am.” Dinah whispers against her lips.
And it feels great to finally say it.