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Their first memory, for it is a memory that Nicky and Joe share, is a man with skin darker than Joe’s, watching death coming for a village. He saw death coming for this village and made a decision. The man had reached for the stone around his neck, sparkling with an indescribable light, and sacrificed himself for the village before them. (Nicky remembers thinking that this, this is what grace must look like, sacrificing your immortality for the good of those who could not save themselves).
They find out later that the young man’s name was Lykon.
They find out that should they lose the gem, they will not rise again. With the gem, they can heal from most wounds, but once the gem is gone, so is their immortality.
It is hundreds of years past their first awakening, Nicky curled around Joe as he comes back to life, slowly but surely. The gem in the hollow of Joe’s neck winks cheerfully in the sun and when he draws his first breath back, Nicky covers his face in kisses.
The battle dies around them, Andy’s harsh groans as she comes back to herself. Joe looks up at him, a smile on his face before they hear the screaming.
Nicky scrambles to his feet, mouth gaping open at the sight of Booker, eyes open, gazing at the sky. His gem is in his hand, smashed to pieces while a small girl tries to wake him up. Quynh gets there before Nicky can, scooping her away from Booker’s body as Nicky moans softly. Tears fill his eyes as Joe starts to cry, helping Andy to her feet.
Nicky casts his gaze around, looking for the other member of their group, Nile nowhere to be found.
“Nile?” Nicky calls out, stumbling past Andy, Joe, and Quynh with Booker’s body, looking for the young woman who had been at his back at the start.
“Nicky, what’s up?” Andy asks, blood smeared down one arm from a cut that’s healed already. Joe and Quynh are doing what they can to put Booker to rights as Nicky scans the area around them.
“I can’t find Nile,” Nicky says, worry draping itself over his shoulders like a cloak for warmth. The words get the others moving, fanning out as Nicky jogs through the surrounding forest, finding a scrap of Nile’s vest (he doesn’t think of her proud, pleased smile as she showed off all the little hidden pockets to Joe who had laughed in delight). He follows it and finds her.
His heart stops.
She’s hanging onto a downed tree desperately, a baby’s wail thin and clinging to Nile. The baby’s dark skin is scraped on its arms that wave and Nile gathers herself, wiggling out of her jacket to wrap the baby securely. Nicky can see the arm that’s been tied off, missing a hand as it slowly grows back.
Big wounds take longer, Nicky remembers.
“Nile!” Nicky screams, hoping she can hear him over the rush of the water from the damaged dam. The saboteurs are dead, but it doesn’t mean that their actions have stopped. Nile looks up, relief and fear washing over her like the spray from the water.
“Nicky! Thank God, you’re here. I need you to take her,” Nile says, exhaustion in her voice as Nicky tries to shimmy out closer. Nile shrieks when the log shifts and the baby in Nile’s arms screams. The screams echo around the area as Andy, Quynh, and Joe run to the scene.
“Nile, you have to come closer. Scoot closer to me,” Nicky says, laying flat on his belly, trying to ease out onto the log. It shifts down, the roar of the water closer than before. Nile is crying; big tears that drip from her face and soak into the already wet fabric of the jacket wrapped around the baby.
“I can’t,” Nile says. Her arm is wrapped around the baby, holding her close. The other arm, no longer bleeding but slowly growing back, presses against the log. Her legs straddle it and Nicky can hear the creaking of the wood. He closes his eyes, resting his head on the wet moss there.
“You can, sorellina. I am here,” Nicky says, meeting her eyes, dark and full of fear as he tunes out Andy and the others frantically trying to make a plan.
“Nile,” Quynh calls out, a twist of rope in her hands, coiled by Andy’s expert hands, “I’m going to throw this to you. Wrap it around the baby and yourself. We will pull you to safety.”
The rope lands in front of Nile, thrown by Quynh in a practiced move. Nicky creeps closer, hissing when the creak of wood makes them all freeze. He pulls his gun off, dropping it onto the bank behind him. He removes his own vest and drops it, uncaring where it lands as he tries to make himself as light as possible.
Nile gets the rope around the baby, staring down at her before she looks over at the others. Nicky can see the glint of the gem that Nile has placed in the baby's hand. There are fresh tears in Nile's eyes and Nicky, down in his gut, knows what she’s done. Nicky lets out a quiet sob, just for himself, dread curling through his gut.
He wonders, briefly, if this is how Lykon felt. If this is how Booker felt. He wishes, prays, and hopes that life isn't too unkind for Joe, the wonder of his life.
"Joe," Nicky says, craning his head back, looking back to the tired face of Joe. He can see the blue gem, swirling with the light that Nicky has always thought of as grace. As the grace with which Joe has lived his long life.
Nicky thinks that if he has lived his life with half as much grace as Joe wakes with, then he can die proud.
"Nicky, what are you doing?" Joe asks. Nicky watches Andy and Quynh slowly ease the rope taut, easing the baby closer. Nicky shudders, looking forward to Nile, her eyes closed, lips moving and Nicky knows she's praying.
"I can't let her die, Joe. She's so young. I'm sorry, my love," Nicky says, easing his hand up to the gem around his own neck, green and golden light like an early sunrise that makes his eyes hurt if he looks at it for too long. He hears Joe screaming his name as Nicky squirms closer to Nile, ignoring everything behind him to get as close as he can.
The log beneath them creaks and Nicky hears Nile's whimper of fear, her own body scooting closer.
"Nile. Sorellina, I have you. I need you to do something," Nicky says, watching her open her eyes. Fear shines there and Nicky knows that he will miss Joe. He will miss watching this remarkable young woman grow. He will miss watching Andy indulge her sweet tooth, Quynh's wry smile as she tries to not laugh at Joe's jokes. He will miss his life.
But another glance to Nile firms his resolve.
"I need you to look after everyone, alright? Make sure Joe knows he's loved. Tell Andy when she's being rude. Hug Quynh so she knows she's above the water. Nile, look at me," Nicky says, sternly, the water rising as the dam's structure begins to fail. Tears are falling down his face and he hears Andy and Quynh shouting, a baby's cry and when Nile looks at him, mouth open, Nicky gives her a shaky smile.
"I love you, sorellina. I love all of them and I love you," Nicky says as he dives forward, smashing the gem in his hand, wrapping Nile's around it.
He hears screams around him and sees a bright light. It is warm and dry and for a moment, he is grateful that he won't have to remember this final death. Drowning is such a terrible way to go.
Nicky wishes, idly, that he could have kissed Joe one last time.
Peace washes over him like the tide coming in and he lets himself float away.
===
A thousand years in the future, Joe wakes up.
His routine is quiet as it has been for the last thousand years without his Nicky by his side.
Joe wakes, going through silent prayers, silently begging for answers that have yet to come. He stays on his mat for a long time, the ship around him sterile and cold, silver like the light within the gem that has stayed around his neck for two millenia.
He eats the morning part of his rationed meal pack, chewing listlessly, as he watches the black space outside the window. There's a shine out there, a glow that lights his face as he watches the ship orbit the small star of the first colony from Earth.
Joe performs his morning ablutions silently, as silent as he has been without the other part of his soul with him. He steps into the hallway of the ship, hurtling through space with the people who are still closest to him.
Andy sits in the captain's chair, her millenia weighing on her like the crush of space outside. The gem that had been so customary at her neck is gone now, given away before they had left to a dying woman, trying to provide for her children as the Earth evacuated.
Where's Quynh? Joe signs as Andy looks over at him. She smiles, crows feet crinkling at the corners of her eyes. Her hair is longer, like it was when they first met. She has it pulled to the side in a complicated braid that Joe knows is Nile's handywork.
"She's with Nile and the kids," Andy says and signs at the same time, grimacing when Joe laughs soundlessly, correcting her hands.
We land today. Are you ready? Joe signs as Nile and Quynh wander back into the cockpit, their two youngest immortals trailing.
Nile had been over three hundred before another immortal had joined them, Hana, from what had once been New Zealand.
Her joining had been a light in a long life for all of them. She laughed easily, her brown skin crinkling in happiness. She took to their life with an aplomb that Joe envied, her hands flying in quick conversation as she learned sign language and the variants. Her arms and back were covered in the Tā moko and Joe often found himself sketching them idly, gifting the designs to her just to see her face light up.
Good morning, Hana. Joe signed, lifting his arm for Hana to slip in and hug him. She had been with them for seven hundred years, a familiar presence and Joe thinks of Nicky as he always does.
"Morning, Yusuf!" Hana chimes, signing at the same time, beaming. Joe shares a grin with Nile as Quynh finally stops gesturing with their youngest.
Kimani had found them thirty years prior, their determination as powerful as their words. They've taken to sign language faster than anyone, hands flying as they greet Joe.
"Quynh and Nile showed me that disarming technique you used on Andy during your spar. Nile said Nicky taught her," Kimani says, hands flying through the sign. Joe smiles at the mention of Nicky, looking over at Nile. Her face always twists in the complicated fashion when they speak about Nicky, even a thousand years on.
Ah, my Nicky was a good teacher and an even better cook. When we land at the colony, I will have you help me cook one of his old favorites. Joe signs as Kimani lights up with a grin. Joe passes a hand over their back, settling into his seat near Andy, her weary expression lightening as she watches him.
What? Joe signs.
"Good to see you excited about landing," Andy says, hands moving slowly as Kimani corrects her with a grin. Kimani is quiet but kind, much like Quynh and Joe loves his new family, even while he misses the people they left buried on a dying planet.
Joe thinks of Booker, his grief that had consumed him until the end when he had sacrificed himself for a young girl. Joe thinks about the smile that had lingered on Booker's face, his eyes empty but peace over his face as they had buried him.
They had never recovered Nicky's body.
Joe thinks of his love being washed away, saving Nile as they saved the baby Nile lost a hand over. Joe thinks about the scream that had taken his voice all those years ago, Nicky's name on his tongue as the glittering glass shimmered over Nile's hands.
Guilt had eaten at Nile as she took her own gem back from the hands of the baby who had been saved. Joe had never held it against her, had never begrudged her the long life that Nicky had gifted her.
("You don't hate me?" Nile asked, a sob under her breath as Joe gathered her close. It would be the last time he spoke for a long, long while.
"I could not hate you because you lived when Nicky did not. He gave his life for you and it would be a poor repayment for me to hate you. Besides, you are mia sorellina," Joe had said, clinging to Nile as she had collapsed into him. He had held her until they both stopped crying, a stronger bond between them from that day forward.)
Joe wonders at the lines of succession, of all the ways they have saved an entire colony at the expense of themselves, holding onto their gems.
Joe wonders if Quynh will find a reason to use hers soon so that she and Andy can go together. Joe thinks there's a certain poetry to that.
He wishes he could have done the same with Nicky. He wonders what Nicky would have looked like with silver in his hair, their age matching one another's and Joe sends a wordless prayer to whoever may be listening to care for the soul of his love.
They land roughly, Andy and Quynh's bickering leaving Joe to exchange exasperated eyerolls with Nile and Hana. Kimani holds his hand when he reaches for theirs, offering comfort as the ship powers down.
Their new home is not one of choice but Joe finds that he wishes Nicky were here to see this new home with him.
His family with him, he steps out into a brand new world, breathing in terraformed air with relish after recycled air for so long.
It is new and perhaps it can be a new beginning.
===
Kimani and Hana go with Nile on their first mission two years in, their laughter ringing through the halls of the permanent residence they had set up. No more safe houses, Joe thinks, watching Andy and Quynh dance around each other.
It had taken a week before Quynh had used her gem, saving a mechanic who had been crushed by one of the machines to build the houses for the incoming masses. Quynh had jumped to do it, the glitter of blood red glass and soft evening light shimmering as Quynh sighed happily.
Since then, Joe finds that she and Andy are free with one another, a life they may have never had before this.
He sketches them dancing, foreheads pressed together, a gentle melancholy sweeping through him.
Their love is sacred, Joe thinks, remembering the hushed way Nicky had spoken of them and he leaves the sketch on the bedside table, a snapshot of the love that has endured for longer than even Joe has lived.
When he falls asleep on the couch, he sleeps fitfully. He dreams of a crushing weight, of a man who shoves the children out of the way, taking the weight onto himself. He dreams of a sharp nose and eyes the color of sea glass that Joe carries with him like a reminder.
They say if you live long enough, you see the same eyes in different faces and Joe gasps awake, haunted by green eyes that he knows in his soul.
For the first time in nine hundred years, he calls out for Andy and Quynh.
"Nicky. It's Nicky," Joe gasps. His voice breaks and he stares at Andy and Quynh, hands shaking as they share a look.
"Go, we'll join you," Quynh says as Joe tears out of the house. The dust of the colony billows around him, his bare feet slapping against the ground as he navigates his way to the shipyard. He can hear a commotion, a flurry of languages and when he breaks through the crowd, he can hear rumors of a man who fled.
He breathes hard, thinking and thinking. Joe breaks from the crowd, searching the alleys and the walkways before he spots him.
The man before him is not Nicky but it is Nicky. Joe knows that sometimes there are people who look the same, years and years later. He knows that this is not his Nicky - this is not the other half of his soul, but for a moment he prays and he hopes.
Long hair hangs in front of his face as the man holds his hands out, shaking hard. Joe remembers his first death, so long ago that there was different dirt under his feet. He remembers dreaming of the man who had slid a spear into his guts, his own sword piercing armor of so long ago, fell to dust.
The man looks up at Joe's bare feet, even as Joe kneels in front of him, meeting his eyes. Tears are welling in Joe's eyes as the man's mouth drops open.
His eyes are darker than Nicky's had been, green though, so green that Joe thinks of all the ways he could drown in them. His hair is longer than Nicky's had been for many years and Joe's hand hovers over his own mouth, feeling his shaky breath huffing out.
"I dreamed of you," the man says as Joe heaves out a sob. His eyes shut hard and he touches the gem at his own neck, watching as the man before him holds up his own gem.
"I don't know what this is. I know who you are and I know who the others are. I know so much about you and I don't know why," the man says, breath hitching. His voice doesn't have the accent that Joe expects and it makes it easier to find his own voice.
"So long as that gem remains whole, you can come back. When you break that gem, you have one last death. My name is Yusuf."
"Nicholas."
Joe laughs, slumping back to sit in the dirt as he offers his hand, hearing Andy and Quynh run up behind him.
"Nicholas. Myself and these two women, and the other three people in our group, will keep you safe. Would you like to learn more?"
Joe watches Nicholas stare at his hand, at the way Nicholas' own hand trembling. Nicholas takes Joe's hand, letting Joe help them both up as the man stares between the three of them.
"Your name is Joe. I've dreamed of you my whole life," Nicholas says as Joe feels tears spill over. He moves to drop Nicholas' hand before Nicholas makes a desperate grab for it.
"And this is Andy and Quynh. I stopped dreaming of you months ago. I thought maybe you had died."
"It's a long story. Come back with us and we'll tell you," Andy says, eyes shining. Quynh looks at Joe, tears streaking down her cheeks and Joe lets his heart sing at the joy of when Nicholas walks with them.
Hand in hand, it feels like a new beginning for a very old man.