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The house on Naboo is a dream; too wonderful and too unreal.
There, their mother, who by all accounts put everyone before herself, found tranquility. There, in their father’s sparse detail, she admitted she loved him and married him, all in one heady month.
Luke explores the rest of the house. His hunger to find their mother rivals Leia’s own, but she remains in the library, running her fingers over the hundreds of dusty spines.
Their father hangs back. He keeps his distance as much as she keeps hers, though she senses his yearning to bridge the gap, even if it means upending death itself.
“You should have never left,” she murmurs.
She turns to face him. For a place that has only housed ghosts for decades, he looks wrong. Even overrun, the home is still stately-looking and the late afternoon sun illuminates it, chasing away the shadows. His sober Jedi robes and scars do not fit.
It is the first time she is alone with her father. (It is fitting she came for her mother and found him too.)
“Maybe.”
It is not the tone of a man wracked by regret, but an offering of comfort; the only thing he has left to give.
It is counter to Leia’s nature – to their nature – but how much hurt could have been avoided (maybe)? She and Luke could have been born here; the four of them could have lived quietly and without note (maybe).
They all might have died on the inside or they could have been happy; a small price to pay (maybe).
But she is a Skywalker, and they are, by all accounts, a self-sacrificing people.
Both Anakin and Padmé are here and Leia must reach for them.
With the transition to the New Republic and reestablishing Alderaan, she has given precious little time to the Force or herself.
And the veranda looks like a lovely place to meditate.
“Leia! Come see what I found!” Luke shouts from somewhere upstairs.
She bolts up the stairs; their father no longer with them.
----------
Han wakes up abruptly; disoriented as to what startled him. Something happened to the Falcon. He doesn’t waste time scrambling to the cockpit, where Leia and Chewie sit; both in a perfect state of calm.
“What happened?”
Leia is unable to suppress her light amusement at his distress, “We changed course. I’m meeting Ahsoka on Onderon; you might as well drop me off there on your way back to Coruscant.”
As Leia speaks Chewie rumbles under his breath about Han losing his nerve. It might be true, but Han knows the creaks and groans of the Falcon better than anyone. Changing course direction just under lightspeed makes it sound like something’s up.
“We jump at Tano’s beck and call now?”
He hadn’t meant it as though he was spoiling for a fight, but Chewie takes it as such and moves out of the cockpit so fast he’s gone before Han realizes it.
Leia sighs exasperatedly, but doesn’t answer right away. She appraises Han, who realizes he definitely looks like a deranged captain who woke up because he thought his ship was falling apart. The corner of her lips twitches slightly; a familiar tick from, Han realizes, years earlier. He hadn’t known it at the time, but it’s a sign he’s actually amused her.
The knots in his stomach undo themselves and he can swallow again. He isn’t afraid of fighting with Leia, but he’ll be damned if he looks like he opposes her thin ties to the increasingly messy Skywalker family history.
He’s grateful his parents really were nobodies. When asked, it’s a straight answer.
(If mysterious people from his past emerge out of thin air, he knows he’s in trouble. There’s no destiny to him, just the knack for being in the right place at the right time.)
“No we do not jump when Ahsoka asks for help. I need to meet with the Confederacy leadership anyway, so it’s a good chance to kill two mynocks with one stone.”
He exhales as he slouches into the pilot’s seat, “I don’t know how you do it.”
She smiles softly, “Years of practice. Plus some Jedi training.”
He runs his hands through his hair, making it stand further on end. Han doesn’t understand it, but this amuses her, and her smile broadens into a grin.
A grin, Han notes, which doesn’t banish the dark circles under her eyes.
“You haven’t been sleeping as well.” It isn’t a question. She sneaks off when she thinks he’s asleep.
He wants her to admit it; to admit she is dealing with more than one person can handle by themselves. Oh, she’s not alone; he, Luke, Chewie, Ahsoka, and Senator Mothma see to that, but the sheer weight of it is more than Han can imagine. But if she can be honest, maybe she’ll let go, take it easy on herself.
“No, but everything will be easier once a home’s been established for Alderaan. And once I get the hang of this lightsaber.” She taps at the new hilt she keeps with her most days.
Tucked away, but with her at all times, is the old holo she and Luke found at their mother’s house. It’s disconcerting to Han to put a real face to the jackboot of the Empire. Worse, thinking that Vader once had blood pumping through him, same as Han.
“You’ll figure it out fast enough. Don’t tell anyone I’ve said this, but I’ve got a wager going with Lando that Tano’ll say you’re better than Luke soon.”
Leia says nothing, but rolls her eyes and slides easily into Han’s lap, absently twisting at his hair. He leans back and closes his eyes, sleep returning swiftly. Leia rests her head on his shoulder.
Bunk or pilot’s seat, he’ll know first thing when something happens with the Falcon.
Leia mumbles something into his shoulder, bringing him to again, although less violently.
“Hmm?”
“It’s just so damn impossible some days. Being pulled every direction and I worry when the time comes, I won’t have time for our –”
She flushes as she cuts herself short. Han knows what she was going to say; it’s a thought he imagined he’d never have to consider.
“You’re not –”
Leia shakes her head. Han’s torn between genuine disappointment and relief for both their sakes.
With certainty he usually reserves for Jedi, Han reminds her, “You’ll find the time, don’t worry.” And then teasing, “You don’t trust me with our own kid?”
The pinched, worried look around her eyes vanishes; her next words filled with assurance he knows instinctively now.
“I trust you.”
They’ve come a hell of a long way.
She settles against him. And for once, Leia nods off first.
----------
For all her warmth and effusion, Padmé exists in Ahsoka’s memory as someone who never let go of a code of formality. Anakin was possibly the only person to ever see her with her hair down.
Her daughter is no different.
Each petition to Naboo to memorialize their late queen and senator is met with skeptical indifference. Ahsoka remembers Padmé telling her the system was never wholly keen on the Republic, and now they wish to distance themselves further, since they had the misfortune of unleashing Palpatine on the galaxy.
Leia takes the rejections calmly, her simmering annoyance well-concealed. She does not let her guard down, even when they head back to the lake district. (The crumbling place serves as a reminder to Ahsoka how little she actually knew the woman.)
They remain in silence until they return to the house
“This would a lot easier if everyone wasn’t clamoring for monuments to the Clone Wars,” Leia says as she deposits her things on a table.
“They think those were simpler, more heroic days,” Ahsoka offers.
It’s far from the truth, but easier to look at from a distance.
Leia sighs; Ahsoka shares her concern. Anakin Skywalker must remain at rest if they are to have any peace. The best option Luke offers New Republic leadership is the elevation of other Jedi. If they are raised with Anakin, he will blend in, no more a hero than the others.
Glancing out the window, Leia speaks more to herself, “I’m going down to the water for a while.”
To unwind, to meditate, to focus.
Ahsoka nods as Leia takes her leave. She’s proud of Leia’s quick progress. She’s grateful too, neither Luke nor Leia need her as much as she first worried they would. (But then, Anakin let her loose more often than not.)
Alone, Ahsoka notices something’s slipped out of Leia’s bag. She presses a button. A remarkably clear, blue holo springs on. Ahsoka remembers when it was taken: her first security mission.
Despite Padmé’s best efforts, Ahsoka remembers none of the other politicians and diplomats in the holo save Bail Organa and his wife.
It is the only image in the galaxy of Anakin Skywalker; of Anakin with Padmé, of Anakin with her.
Gods, they look painfully young.
She switches it off and restores it to the bag, then heads outside. She and Leia will plan what to do next together.
They’re stronger in numbers.