Chapter Text
“Okay Guillermo, right through the door, that’s it. Alright, sit down.” Colin said, steering Guillermo into the sitting room.
“Colin Robinson, what is it? What happened to Guillermo?” Nandor asked, looking down at his dazed familiar.
“Well, Guillermo just got his wisdom teeth pulled out, so he’s kinda loopy right now. I had to take him to the dentist, then I had to take him home and-” Colin droned, stopping when Nandor put his hand up.
“I know what you’re doing, Colin Robinson. You will not be draining my energy today, so suck it… but not really, because I’m not listening to you.” Nandor said. He swept out of the room before Colin could take any more of his energy.
“I want water.” Guillermo muttered, barely comprehensible through the cotton.
“What was that? You want to hear about my stamp collection?” Colin asked. Guillermo shook his head, but Colin had already launched into the story of how he got his first stamp.
~~~~
A few hours later, Nandor had a brilliant idea. After confirming with Colin that the sun had set, he went to go find some assistance.
“Nadja, I need to go to the store. Would you like to come with me?” Nandor asked, knocking on the woman’s coffin.
“Sure, I don’t have anything else going on.” Nadja replied, emerging from the lavish wooden box. She closed the coffin and looked at Nandor. “What are we looking for?”
“I want to get some ‘Get Well’ gifts for Guillermo, but I’m not quite sure what humans consider a comforting item.” Nandor informed her. She nodded.
“We’ll figure it out.”
Nandor beamed. “Excellent. I just want to let Laszlo know where we’re going, and then we can leave.”
A moment later, Laszlo joined Nandor and Nadja’s conversation.
“Laszlo, Nadja and I are heading to the store. I’m not sure how long we’ll be gone, but I would like you to keep an eye on Guillermo and Colin Robinson. Guillermo’s in a very vulnerable state, and I don’t want that sneaky sweater-clad snake making a meal out of my familiar.” Nandor explained.
“Of course, my friend. Take all the time you need, I’ll hold the fort down while you’re away.” Laszlo agreed.
“Goodbye, Laszlo, I’ll see you later.” Nadja called as Nandor swept out of the house.
“Ta-ta, my darling. Have fun on your excursion.” Laszlo said with a wave, shutting the door after the two. He clapped his hands and rubbed them together, setting off to find the familiar.
~~~~
“Ah, Gizmo, how are you feeling?” Laszlo asked upon entering the sitting room. Guillermo was propped up against a few pillows on the arm of the couch, eyes drooping heavily, no glasses in sight.
“Tired. And thirsty.” Guillermo responded. He brushed his hair out of his eyes, and his hand fell immediately back to his side.
“I’ve been there. I would suggest drinking some blood, but you’re not a vampire. What is it that humans like to drink?”
“Water.”
“Righto. Back in a jiffy.” Laszlo said, turning back out of the room. Guillermo sighed and allowed his eyes to close, too tired to stay awake for much longer.
Laszlo returned a minute or so later, carrying the glass in his right hand. “Gizmo, I didn’t know how humans usually take their water so I put a dash of blood in it for you. Extra iron, it’s good for you.” Laszlo called, stopping abruptly when he saw the sleeping man. “Aww, that’s cute.” he added. He set the water on the side table and grabbed a blanket, unfolding it and laying it over Guillermo. He blew out the candles and exited the room.
~~~~
Nadja and Nandor sauntered down the aisles of Target, looking for something that Guillermo would like.
“What about this one? It has a cute little mask on it.” Nandor said, holding up a small plush toy.
“That’s Batman, it’s racist.” Nadja told him, looking disgusted at the thought of having that figure in the house.
“Eh, you’re right. So long, evil doll.” Nandor replied, shoving the Batman plush to the back of the display, hiding it behind two pink teddy bears.
“Oh, look at this, Nandor. This is perfect for Gizmo!” Nadja called from the end of the aisle. Nandor strode over to her to inspect the item and smiled.
“Wonderful! Oh, he will be so happy.” Nandor said, taking the chosen toy in his hands. He and Nadja picked out a few bags of candy for Guillermo as well and made their way to the checkout.
“Good evening.” Nandor said to the cashier as he scanned their items.
“Same to you. Your total comes to $32.50.”
Nandor nodded and pulled a fifty dollar bill out of his cloak, handing it to the cashier. He popped it in the register and pulled out a ten, a five, two singles, and two quarters.
“$17.50 coming back. Have a great night, sir.” the cashier said. Nandor pocketed the change and picked up the bag, and the two exited the store.
“I’ve seen Guillermo do that countless times. You give them paper, and they give you free paper back. Isn’t that wonderful?” Nandor explained to Nadja. She nodded. “And they call this free paper ‘change’. That really is something.” Nandor continued, assuming his bat form and flying back home, Nadja not far behind.
~~~~
“Over the past couple of hours, I’ve devised the perfect care system. If Colin Robinson tries to drain Gizmo of any energy, I spray him a few times with this nifty water bottle and shout ‘Shoo’ at him. It works quite well, if I do say so myself.” Laszlo explained to the film crew. He turned his head and saw Colin trying to sneak into the sitting room, apparently hungry for a late night snack. Laszlo got up and blocked the sitting room entrance, spraying Colin and following him to his room. He smiled at the film crew. “See? Works like a charm.”
He spun the bottle of his index finger a few times before dropping it.
“Ah fuck.” he muttered, bending down to pick the bottle back up, spinning it on his finger once more.
~~~~
“Laszlo, Guillermo, we’re home!” Nandor announced, walking into the house. He entered the sitting room just as Nadja closed the front door and followed him, Laszlo joining them a minute later.
“So, how did everything go?” Nandor asked Laszlo.
“Rather well, I’d say. Colin Robinson tried to attack a few times, but I figured out how to keep him at bay. Watch this.” Laszlo replied. “Colin Robinson, house meeting!” he called. Colin appeared in the entryway and when Laszlo held up the water bottle, he ran away very quickly.
“Ah, so he’s scared of this doohickey, then?” Nandor asked, fascinated.
“No, you dipshit, I sprayed him so many times that he knows I’ll do it again, so he backs off.” Laszlo replied.
The noise woke up Guillermo, who looked around groggily.
“Hey there, buddy.” Nandor said slowly, handing Nadja the change. She snuck away to put the money back in Guillermo’s wallet and returned soon after. “We got something for you.”
“You didn’t have to get me anything.” Guillermo said, smiling.
“Of course we did, we want you to feel better.” Nandor told him, pulling the bag up. He rifled through it and pulled out three bags of candy. “This one is called ‘Skittles’, and they have all these pretty colors. These are Hershey’s Kisses, they’re very romantic. These ones are gummi fangs, so when you eat them, you can feel like you’re a vampire.” he added, handing the bags to Guillermo.
“Thank you, master. I’ll save these for when I can eat them.” Guillermo said.
“Hold on, there’s one more thing.” Nadja said, pulling the toy out. She held it out to Guillermo, and he looked puzzled.
“What is this?”
“He is a doll named Gizmo. He doesn’t look like you at all, but you have the exact same name.” Nadja gushed, shoving the Gizmo plush into Guillermo’s hands.
“Thank you, this is great.” Guillermo replied. The vampires smiled.
“You’re very welcome. We’ll let you go back to sleep now. Come, Nadja and Laszlo.” Nandor said, and the three of them swept out of the room. Laszlo scared Colin away one last time, and went to join Nadja and Nandor in a game of Charades