Chapter Text
Confidence was never something that came easily to me. You were my backbone, a friend I could retreat to. Now that you're gone I feel I have nowhere to go.
I feel like nobody understands how close I held you, you're my world. My world has gone away and I keep hoping to turn around and see you watching my back.
I don't want to go through life alone without you by my side. But death takes and keeps on taking...I just don't understand why it had to take you away from me. Heaven knows I loved you more than anything else.
I feel like life is testing me to see if I can manage to live without you. This is one game I do not wish to play. It hurts too much to be separated and I've thought about ending it all on several occasions.
My confidence has been shattered, depression threatens to take over my life. It's hard to find a reason to keep living. Sometimes I think the only reason I haven't given in is because I know you'd be devastated if I did.
I feel anger sometimes. "Why'd you leave me? Didn't you love me? Do you miss me?" Are things I often ask myself. Maybe...if there is a higher power(s) they don't deem me worthy of being by your side.
"I don't know," I sigh, "this is stupid." I thought if I wrote all this down then maybe somewhere somehow he'd be able to still be able to sense how I'm feeling. That maybe there's a sliver of a chance he can still hear my inner thoughts.
There's a knock on my bedroom door. I jump slightly quickly trying to cover the not pad I was writing in. "
Y-yes?" I stammer.
"Dinner's ready Yugi," I hear grandpa call from the other side of the door. I breath a sigh of relief.
"Okay, I'll be there in a minute," I say getting up from the desk. The widow is open, sending a gentle breeze over the corner of paper that's sticking out. I suddenly get another dumb idea as I take the paper out of the pad. I fold it into an airplane and toss it outside before joining grandpa at the dinner table.