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It was a routine by now, really. That was fine though- Izuku liked routines.
Izuku woke up feeling empty in a way he couldn't really explain to anyone, made eye contact and attempted a smile at least once during breakfast with his mom. He curled into himself as he walked down the hallway, carefully avoiding feet stuck out to trip him on his way to class, taking care to not cross paths with Kacchan. He sat down at his desk, pulled out his notebook, and wrote down everything his brain had been silently recording about the quirks he passed, desperately trying to distract himself, and felt a little less empty. Just a little. Just enough.
Kaachan would, inevitably, growl about how a quirkless Deku like him should know fucking better then to try and claw his way above his third-class station, and Izuku would carefully avoid staring at his hands for Kacchan's safety and his eyes for his own. At some point, he'd start tuning the blonde's rant out as he tampered down the urge to believe Kacchan.
He could be a quirkless hero.
He-
He would be a quirkless hero.
--
Kacchan took his notebook.
It was routine as usual, with the tripping and the taunting and the tampering, up until he was getting ready to leave, head spinning with theories on the newly-debuted Mount Lady's quirk as he collected himself and his things to get ready to leave.
Up until Kacchan took his notebook, and Izuku had to swallow down a spike of possessive rage.
"We're not done talking yet, Deku." he warned, holding the notebook just out of reach, and Izuku broke his rule of avoiding looking at Kacchan's hands because they were holding his notebook. Without even that minuscule comfort against the yawning emptiness, it felt so all encompassing that he felt himself start to go numb. That was his.
Kacchan had the same look of bored anger he usually had. You'd never be able to tell that he was breaking the silent rules of their routine.
"What's that, Katsuki?" He heard another voice chime, sounding more distant then it should. Kacchan held the book up for his goons to see the title of, and Izuku started to shake as they laughed.
"G-give it back." He stuttered, pushing himself up from his desk clumsily by fingertips he could barely feel.
Kacchan didn't spare him a second look though, burning the book with his quirk and throwing it out the window.
Izuku flinched, eyes flying between the window and Kacchan's hands, mind somewhere between racing furiously with everything he knew about Kacchan's quirk and being completely numb and blank- a dichotomy that made him a little dizzy.
Kacchan's hand was on his shoulder, he realized suddenly, eyes snapping to it before he could stop them. Everything was happening so fast. Izuku could smell the smoke rising, and knew enough about Kacchan and his quirk to register that he probably had a burn there now, but he couldn't feel it.
An angry thrum quickly rose to a crescendo in his head, and if he could find it in him to be sure exactly where his limbs were he'd curl his arms around his head. It was loud and terryfying and wailing and gnawing, and he remembered almost to late to not look at Kacchan's hands.
He looks away and the wail turns to a whine, which is only barely better really. But every bit counts, he supposes, and he's a master of turning inches into miles. He's stubbornly staring at Kaachan's mouth as he says something Izuku can't hear, but is probably a threat about applying to UA- as if that could stop him, as if it ever had before. Really, besides the stealing of his notebook, this was all pretty routine for them.
(He's also shaking like a leaf for a dozen odd reasons, every one of them absolutely pathetic. He didn't dwell on it, though. Contrary to popular belief, he was actually quite good at picking his battles- especially the internal ones. For the record he did just as well with external ones to, he just....didn't always have time to pick a battle, before his feet or mouth or fists or move and he's a part of it.)
His life is immediately much easier as soon as Kacchan isn't touching him anymore- yet another routine fact. He almost wants to laugh, or maybe vomit, over the fact that this was such a casual thing in every way except the one way it wasn't.
(Kacchan took. His notebook.)
Instead of doing either of those, he took a deep breathe and shook his head. Words reached his ears like they were traveling through a moat of syrup, but reached his ears nonetheless.
"If you wanna be a hero that badly, there's a quick way to do it." Kacchan says, faux-helpful, but Izuku can still hear the sneering smirk that came with the words. "Just believe with all your heart you'll be born with a quirk in your next life, and take a swan dive off of the roof."
Izuku tightens his fists and grits his teeth, but he doesn't turn back to look at Kacchan. Screw it. If Kacchan breaks their routine a little then Izuku will too, and he isn't gonna give Kacchan the satisfaction of their usual last little stare off. Besides, All-Might himself could not stop Izuku from staring helplessly at the window, crossing one foot over the other while he stood just to make sure he didn't end up diving out of the window.
After an awkward moment of expectant silence, Kacchan gives an annoyed huff, lets off a loud pop of an explosion for effect, and slams the door shut behind him without another word.
A deep breath shudders through Izuku. He closes his eyes and recites every major villain fight Present Mic has ever been in. When that doesn't seem to be long enough he tries Blood King, and then Ectoplasm, before finally giving up on a speedy recovery and running down the behemoth that is Endeavor's recorded villain captures. He misses a few, probably, and he'll kick himself for it later but it serves to distract him while his body mostly-fixes itself, and he blinks back into reality.
In between one breathe and the next, he's stumbled halfway down the hall. He needs to retrieve his notebook.
It was basically his only hope at being a quirkless hero, after all, and that's exactly what he was going to do.