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“I am the Scorpion King!” The brown suited man thrust both arms into the air. An animatronic tail went up with them.
“Nice costume. A bit tight. Or is that padding?” Tony asked.
The arms and tail dropped an inch then recovered. “I am the Scorpion King.”
“Sure you are, buddy.” Tony told him. “Do you want some candy or not?”
“What?”
“Candy.” Tony tipped the plastic pumpkin he was holding so the Scorpion King could see the halloween candy inside.
“No.”
“Ok, well, nice to see you, great costume, there are photos over there if you want to get a shot with Captain America or the Hulk.”
“I am the Scorpion King.”
“Great, but you're holding up the line.” Tony looked pointedly at the line of kids waiting for candy with their parents, and Teenagers who were pretending they weren’t interested in Iron Man or candy.
The man narrowed his eyes.
“So, if you could pick something” Tony shook the pumpkin making the candy inside shushed around “and move to the next station.”
“I am the Scorpion King.”
“Yes, I got that. It is a very good costume.”
The man grit his teeth. “And I’m here to challenge the Avengers.”
Tony glanced at his watch. “Signups for the costume contest are over there. You have another thirty minutes before they close.” Tony leaned a little closer. “Pro tip, Thor and Natasha are the ones to beat there. Thor somehow got Loki to help him with his costume. He’s supposed to be Frankenstein, but knowing Loki I wouldn’t rule out Thor turning into a giant snake on stage. Natasha, well, she’s a perfectionist about her costumes.”
The Scorpion King glanced around bewildered. Tony waited winking at the young girl in a pink fairy dress standing behind the guy.
“I am the Scorpion King.” The man declared again, lifting his arms and tail to the sky.
“So you’ve said.” Tony started but the Scorpion King steamrolled over him.
“And I am here to challenge the Avengers for the city of New York.” He ended with a roar.
It was Tony’s turn to look around the room, theatrically confused. “I don’t think there’s a city wide costume contest. Though, who knows what the SciFi channel is doing these days.”
The guy brought his fists in front of him and pounded at the air. “I am challenging the Avengers.”
“Ok…” Tony paused just the right amount of time for the guy to think he should start talking again. “I’ve told you about the costume contest and that will be hard to beat. If you’re looking for an easy place to start, I’d say pumpkin carving. Clint has been handling that. Every pumpkin he’s made is either smashed or looks like he carved from the inside out.”
Perfectly timed there was a wet crack, a gloppy sound and gleefully squealing children.
“That’s station 3.” Tony pointed to the paper jack-o-lantern on the wall with a number three as it’s nose.
“I’m not challenging you to pumpkin carving.”
“Are you any good at magic tricks?” Tony mused. “Lang is getting pretty good at it.” Tony pointed to the top hat on the wall.
The Scorpion King looked at him blankly, tail drooping.
“No? Scary stories? Vision knows them all. Literally, he’s been scouring the internet for everyone he can find. I’m really not sure it’s a good idea to have him read all of CreepyPasta, but, well...they grow up so fast.”
The man sneered at him. “You are purposefully misunderstanding me.”
“No, you’re the Scorpion King, you’re here to challenge the Avengers. These are the challenges tonight. Costume contest, pumpkin carving, bobbing for apples, there’s a haunted house too but Sam won’t let us do speed runs until tomorrow.”
“I will sting you to death with my tail.” Said tail rows menacingly behind the guys back.
“That hardly seems fair.”
“What?”
“I don’t have a poison tail. I mean I’ve tried. Cap told it was a bad idea. Then Pepper told me it was a bad idea. Then Peter told me to go to bed.” Tony popped a candy into his mouth.
“You have armor and can fly.”
“That’s not the same as having a tail.”
“So?” The guy clenched his hands.
“You want to challenge the Avengers, right?” Tony asked, looking the guy in the eye.
“Right.”
“Show us that you’re better than us, right?”
“Right.”
“Beat us at our own game, right?”
“Right.”
“Well our game tonight is pumpkin carving, costume contests, bobbing for apples, and if we’re feeling reckless pin the hat on the witch.”
“But…”
“No, really, you want to beat the avengers, show that you’re better than them in a room full of people? Beat Black Widow at bobbing for apples.”
Tony could hear the gears moving in the guys head. They sounded like they needed oil. “I could do that.”
“Absolutely. Do it. Brag about it.” Tony said.
The guy spun around and marched off toward station 5. Tony leant his head to the side to avoid getting hit with his tail.
The girl in her pink dress stepped up, smiling. “Trick or treat. I’m Aja.”
“Nice to meet you Aja.” Tony tilted the plastic pumpkin so she could see inside. “Would you like some candy?”
Just when his pumpkin was empty he felt a familiar hand on his back. “Hey Babe.”
“Hey.” Peter smiled down at him.
“How’s the Scorpion King?”
Peter laughed. “He is still trying to win at bobbing for apples. Clint put a pumpkin on his tail so he won’t accidentally poison anyone with it.”
“I still can't believe that worked.” Tony shook his head at Peter.
“I told you, if they’re willing to wait in line to challenge you, they can be talked out of it.”