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“Do you remember when we met?”
Sanemi snorts, pausing messing up Kyojuro’s hair as the other stares up at him with that owlish gaze from his lap. It’s comfortable like this, sitting under the generous canopy of a large tree, shaded from the harsh midday sun, while Sanemi sits with his back to the truck with Kyojuro’s head resting in his lap. His fingers found the blond and red locks without thinking of it, playing with soft strands as they contrasted the callouses of his palms. “‘Course I fuckin’ do. You were the punk who thought he could sit in for a pillar.”
“WAHAHA! I was the punk?! Sanemi, you started a brawl with me immediately! You broke the rules! If anyone was being a punk, it was you, haha!” Kyojuro reached up, tangling his hands in Sanemi’s collar and pulling him down to kiss him. It is an awkward angle, upside down, but they linger anyway.
Sitting up at the sound of footsteps crunching the dirt path, Sanemi is greeted by an ugly haori. “You’re late.”
Giyuu doesn’t look apologetic, though he knows the water pillar would have come sooner if he could. The times they were together were few and far between, even if each of them yearned for more time.
Time was precious. They made do to savor every second of each other’s company.
Kyojuro bolts up, face alight with joy, “Don’t listen to him, he just missed you! Come, come!” The fiery man eagerly pats the space next to him, urging Giyuu to join them.
“Hey, don’t put words in my mouth, punk,” Sanemi pinches Kyojuro’s cheek but doesn’t deny the fact that he did miss the presence of the water pillar. Regrettable, annoying, but true nonetheless.
Giyuu does as he is asked and plops himself next to Kyojuro. Sanemi is in the perfect position to snake an arm around the middle of both of them, and he does exactly that, pulling them snug against his sides as Kyojuro laughs.
They had this spot picked out, under a large tree off the path between two villages that opened to a small but sunny open clearing. Kyojuro started it all, persistent as hell, and pulled on Sanemi’s arm on a joint mission after he became a pillar. Kyojuro had dragged him to this tree and they shared lunch on a cool spring day.
Sanemi and Kyojuro had their first kiss under this tree.
Kyojuro had told him how he loved here, and Sanemi understood.
Giyuu stumbled into their circle here too, invited by Kyojuro. Neither of them was sure if Giyuu would come, nor if he would understand what they meant, but here they are now.
“Hm,” Giyuu sighed and leaned into Sanemi, “Maybe I missed him too.”
“Well, I for one absolutely missed you both. It’s been months since we were all together like this.” Kyojuro, never the type to dull his words leans into Sanemi too. He is a bit squished now, but he doesn’t care a single bit. It feels good to be here like this.
Kyojuro fills the silence with idle chatter, talking about how his last mission went, about Senjuro, how the Kamado boy was doing in his training, anything that came to mind. Neither Sanemi nor Giyuu was great at small talk, and Kyojuro’s deep and hearty voice is comforting to listen to, so they simply let him speak and basked in his chatter.
An hour or two flies by and Kyojuro seems to run out of things to say, so he adjusts himself to rest his head on Sanemi’s shoulder, his eyes looking sleepy.
Giyuu reaches to brush a few stray pieces of red-tipped hair from Kyojuro’s face. It is a peaceful sight, for Sanemi to see Kyojuro sigh and lean into the touch. A few months ago, Sanemi would’ve run the other direction from anything remotely like this. He is undeserving of Kyojuro’s light, of Giyuu’s solace, and he still struggles to accept that they are here now.
Sanemi lost everyone he ever loved and rejects his only living family. He wants to protect Genya, he could die in the corps. They all could, but Sanemi long ago accepted his impending death. He welcomes it if he were to die fulfilling his duty. What he dreads is the eventual confrontation he knows is bound to happen between himself and Kyojuro. When Sanemi lost both Masachika and Kanae, he swore he wouldn’t ever allow himself to feel the same way for another again, it was too painful on his already scarred heart.
And yet, here he is.
Sanemi is bound to lose them both. Either death will take him, or they will turn away from him when Sanemi’s soul is laid bare for them to see. He fears that more than dying. Existing as a starved man for so long, without the tenderness of outstretched hands pulling him into a safe warmth, whittled him down. When Kyojuro reached for him, he fell, weak and yearning for the fire that the passionate man lit within him. It was so easy for Giyuu to sneak past his guard after that.
He doesn’t know what do to about the looming break. The right thing to do terrifies him because above all else, he wants Genya to live. He doesn’t know if he could survive Genya’s death, but he does know he could survive a broken heart, so the familiar path will welcome him with charred lungs and wicked teeth. His weakness will kill him one day.
But.
Today is not that day. Today, Sanemi is blessed, and he selfishly drinks it in.
“Shinazugawa,” Giyuu calls him in a soft hushed voice, “He fell asleep.”
Sure enough, Kyojuro’s eye was closed, his breathing soft and even. He looks tranquil, like he didn’t carry any weight on his shoulders, which Sanemi knew couldn’t possibly be true. The sight makes something inside him ache as he feels the familiar sensation of wanting to protect someone so badly it hurts, the eyepatch over Kyojuro’s right eye a stark reminder that they were mortal.
Subconsciously, Sanemi’s hold on Kyojuro gets a little tighter.
He watches as Giyuu carefully reaches to rest Kyojuro’s hand in his own, the pair nestled steady on his thigh. He looked at Giyuu, who was still watching Kyojuro with a bittersweet look in his ocean eyes.
“When he wakes up, we’ll get food somewhere in the next village. There will be time,” Sanemi whispered.
Giyuu hummed in reply, shifting to settle down even more and mirror Kyojuro’s position resting his head on Sanemi’s other shoulder. He was now perfectly sandwiched between the two of them, their comfortable warmth washing over him in soothing waves. Sanemi can feel his eyes begin to droop as he senses Giyuu slip into a light sleep too. It couldn’t hurt to get a few minutes of extra rest, and like hell, he was going to move in any way and risk waking either of them up. No, Sanemi doesn’t resist the lull as he lets his head gently rest atop Giyuu’s dark hair.
Sanemi knows by now to accept the peace that comes to him, even if he doesn’t believe he deserves it. He can be selfish, he’s only a man, after all. He knows he will pay for this peace later, and when Kyojuro and Giyuu are gone leaving him alone with his thoughts, he will wrestle with himself yet again, but not right now.
Soaking up their love soothed the scars on his heart. Only a fool would deny the gift of loving Kyojuro and Giyuu.
The trio rests under their tree until sunset and indulges a little more in each other at dinner.