Chapter Text
Draco Malfoy was starting to become used to the odd questions that came with his job as the host of a radio show about magical creatures. He had gotten many questions regarding the breeding of Kneazles. He had also received several inquiries as to whether or not one could predict the color and pattern of a Fwooper’s eggs. But every once in a while someone would call in with a question that was completely bizarre. On this particular day, that question was: what would happen if a person were to attempt to breed a Fire Dwelling Salamander with a Frost Salamander?
“Well, Reggie from Leeds, I’m not completely sure what would happen, but I can tell you that I really, really don’t recommend it. You see, having creatures from two opposing elements try to, uh, do the deed could potentially harm one or both of the creatures. In this case, if the two species even were able to breed, I’m not positive that the offspring would be anything special. I think you would simply end up with babies from one species or the other. I highly doubt that they would be some sort of combination of the two species; some kind of Mist Salamanders,” Draco reasoned, trying not to sound like the idea was ludicrous, even though it was. “Whatever you do, Reggie, please just keep the creatures’ safety as your number one priority. And call back and let us know what happens. In the meantime, here is a message from our sponsor: Quality Quidditch Supplies.”
Draco stepped away from the microphone for a moment to get a drink of water and catch his breath. As much as he liked talking, even he had to give his voice a rest every once in a while. Mentally getting himself back into his radio persona mindset, he quickly moved back into position at the mic. “And we’re back. Sharon from Manchester, I hear you are having a bit of trouble with your bowtruckle…”
As he continued working, he couldn’t help but think about the fact that none of the people he went to Hogwarts with would believe that he was the host of the wizarding radio show The Truth About Kneazles and Crups. Thanks to a spell that modified his voice, he was able to keep his anonymity while being able to broadcast his show. He was also thankful that muggle technology like telephones had caught on because it enabled him to interact with his callers without revealing his identity and was much more convenient than communicating via owl. Draco knew that the wizarding world had not quite forgiven him for his role in the war and that his show’s popularity would have suffered if his listeners knew who he really was. Thus, his need for such deceptive measures.
But when Draco thought about it, what would really keep his former classmates from believing he was the host of this particular radio show was the fact that it was all about magical creatures. Although he had felt compelled to hide his interest in school (due to his father’s disapproval of the subject), Draco had always felt drawn to magical creatures. He honestly felt that most of them were just as misunderstood as he was. Which was the reason he created his radio show in the first place. If he could help wizards and witches better understand these creatures, then maybe the world wouldn’t feel like such a shitty and judgemental place.
Realizing that he had been spacing out while he was talking to someone on live radio (never a good idea), Draco forced himself to return his focus to what he was saying to his caller about her bowtruckle. “...and that is why, I’m sorry to say Sharon, that you cannot convert your bowtruckle to a vegan diet. I know that you are worried about his health, but what is a healthy diet for you is not necessarily a healthy diet for Kevin. Trust me, stick to insects and you will have yourself a happy and healthy bowtruckle.”
“Next we have a caller from London. Mia, it seems you are in a bit of a situation with a crup. How can I help?”
“Well, I am working on some research regarding crups and how their hair may be a useful potion ingredient, but my test subject is very unhappy.” Draco froze. He knew that voice. His caller Mia was none other than his old schoolmate and bullying victim, Hermione Granger.
When he didn’t reply, she asked, “Hello? Are you there?”
Realizing that she had no idea that he knew who she was, nor that she actually knew him, Draco tried his best to sound as completely unshaken as he wished he were.
“Yes! I’m here. Could you give me some more details on the situation? Is anyone else in the room? Have you already attempted to remove any hairs?”
As Granger filled him in on all the details, he started to realize what had made the creature so unsettled. “So your assistant, who is afraid of crups due to witnessing an unfortunate incident involving a pack of crups mauling a muggle, was somehow put in charge of extracting the hairs for your experiment, proceeded to cower away from the crup, causing it to become confused and upset. Is that the gist of it?”
“Yes, but I didn’t know that he would have a problem with the creature!” she said indignantly.
“Now Mia, no need to get defensive,” Draco couldn’t help but remember how easy it was to get her riled up. “What’s important is that we get the crup to calm down. First of all, does this creature have a name?”
He could hear papers shuffling in the background and after a moment, she replied, “His name is Scruff.”
“Ok, here’s what you’re going to do. First, if your assistant is still in the room, you are going to ask him to slowly leave.” Draco started speaking in a low, soothing voice. “Next, you are going to talk to Scruff in a calming manner, like this. Remember, we’re trying to reassure him, so everything you do needs to be nice and slow. No sudden movements, and no making eye contact. Are you with me?”
“Yes,” she responded in her own soothing voice.
“Good. Now, this part might seem a bit weird, but you need to get down on all fours. Slowly, of course. And make sure that Scruff can see that your hands are empty.”
“Are you serious?!” she asked incredulously. After he had confirmed he was completely serious, he heard her moving around. “Ok, I’m doing it.”
“Ok, now you are going to slowly move towards him with your hand out in front of you and low to the ground. While you are doing that, you should keep talking to him in your soothing tone. Just reassure him and try to be comforting,” Draco said encouragingly.
She sighed, but after a moment he could hear her talking to Scruff. “Ok boy, you’re doing so good. We’re just calming down now. You are a very handsome and smart boy. Yes, nobody wants to hurt you.”
He smirked to himself imagining what she must look like at that moment before he pulled himself back into professional mode. “Ok Mia, now when you start getting close I want you to slowly raise your hand towards his nose. Be sure to watch for any signs of aggression as you do this. You see his ears move back or hear any growling you stop immediately, got it?”
“Ok. Yes, we’re ok, aren’t we Scruff?” She paused for a moment and he was about to tell her to back off, fearing the worst, when he could hear what sounded like laughter and a very happy crup who was probably licking all over her face.
“Mia? Is everything alright?”
“Yes, we are both fine,” she said, and he swore he could hear a smile in her voice.
“Good, I’m glad to hear that. Congratulations on your new best friend,” Draco said with a smirk.
“Wait, what?”
“Well, it sounds like the two of you have bonded over this adventure. It just wouldn’t be right to leave him in a lab when he so clearly adores you,” he said, barely able to contain his chuckling.
She proceeded to explain that her very hectic work schedule did not allow time for pets, but he was having none of it.
“It sounds to me like both of you need each other then. It isn’t good to get so caught up in work that you forget about everything else. Take a chance, Gr-Mia!” He couldn’t believe he almost slipped up and called her Granger!
“Well, I suppose I have been neglecting the other aspects of my life for work…” she said, already sounding resigned to her fate. He knew that he had won, so he congratulated her again and wrapped up the call.
Draco found it hard to believe that he had just had a civil conversation with Hermione Granger. He hadn’t even seen her in four years, but their first conversation as adults had gone very well. Although, he was working, so he had to be professional. And she didn’t even know it was him she was talking to. Oh well, Draco still counted it as a win in his book.
A few days later, he had just finished up the show for the day, when he noticed an owl at the window. He knew he could leave the letter until the next day, but he was curious, so he peered inside the envelope. Draco almost dropped it when he saw the picture of Granger with a crup. She had her hair loose and wild down her back and a huge smile on her face; a crup was in her arms, wiggling around with his own canine smile.
Retrieving the note that was also in the envelope, he read that apparently the picture was of Granger and Scruff, her new best friend. She wrote that she wanted to update him on how they were doing (very well) and ask if she could meet him somewhere for a drink to say thank you.
His eyebrows went up and he couldn’t help but say, “Oh shit.”