Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Hunk missed them. He thought of them everyday, and everything he did brought a sting of memories. When he cooked he thought of his moms, showing him how much a dash or a pinch was. He saw his mama showing him how to perfectly caramelize onions, and his tina helping him make pancakes on his grandad’s birthday. 

He thought of his dad in the heat of the battle, encouraging him to use his left hook or his uppercut. He could practically see his dad cheering him on when he used perfect technique on his elbow drop. He was reminded of his grandparents when he saw Allura and Coran puzzle over human things, such as the ‘strange’ fashions(as they put it). He felt his grandma’s hand on his shoulder when he fixed a part of a lion that was particularly hard, and his grandpa was right beside him, handing him the tools.

Hunk missed them. He hated that space was an endless void that separated his family. Yes, he did have a found family, and he was very grateful for them; but nothing could compare to coming home from the Garrison during breaks, or celebrating holidays together. 

The kitchen was quiet. Hunk liked to wake up early to cook breakfast, partly because Coran’s was inedible, partly because he enjoyed the thinking time. He decided that he was going to try to make some panikekes today, a little bit of home to keep him going. Cooking food on the Castle of Lions was tougher than one would expect, given that a lot of the ingredients were as alien as the Alteans themselves. Fortunately, Hunk had managed to find ingredients that vaguely resembled the ones he needed at the space mall, and the only thing left was to cook and pray it didn’t make anything explosive.

As he stirred the dry ingredients, his mind started to wander. ‘Don’t worry, food has a way of turning out.’ Hunk’s little hands shook as he dropped the batter into the hot oil. He had insisted on doing that part, he was a big boy now!, and his tina had let him. 

‘Will mama wake up? I don’t want her to ruin the surprise!’ His tina smiled.

‘She won’t wake up. And even if she did, our little Sugar would sit on top of her for so long, she would fall right back asleep.’ Hearing her name, Sugar mewled. For a kitten, she was surprisingly large, and had warmed right up to her new family- often showing affection by sitting on someone. It was very funny to him.

Hunk scanned the kitchen for a ladle. How could he have forgotten a ladle? He was never this scatter-brained. The dough was frying, and any moment now they could overcook. He found one in the back of a cabinet. Just in time too, as the golden brown skin was puffing up. He dug them out of the oil with a sigh of relief.

‘Happy birthday!’ The panikekes were stacked on a serving tray with a fork and sprinkle of powdered sugar on top of them. His mama blinked in surprise.

‘Aw, you are the best son ever! These are my favorite!’ Hunk’s mama sunk her teeth into the first panikeke, showing enthusiasm every chew. ‘Wow! Did you make these? These are great!’ Another big bite.

‘He just wanted your birthday to be special. It was all his idea, really.’ His tina sat next to his mama, and started to reach for the food. ‘Come on, join us. We can’t eat all of this alone!’ They sat there for a while, eating breakfast. It was an awesome morning.

Hunk felt warm streaks of water fall down his face. He hadn’t even realised that he was crying. The pancakes in front of him gave him some bittersweet memories. They were perfectly cooked, really, and not at all overdone like they were on his mama’s birthday several years ago. It had become a tradition to make them, and he eventually started to make them for his tina too. He had perfected them to the point where they were little puffs of heaven.

A loud yawn startled him. “Morning, Hunk! What’d you make today?” Lance’s voice carried in the large dining hall. Hunk wiped quickly at his tears before turning around.

“Panikekes. As I recall, you were pretty into them back at the Garrison.” Lance's eyes lit up. 

“No way, dude! I love those little things! How did you find all of the ingredients?”

“I have my ways. You woke up just in time too, they’re still warm.” As Lance started to eat, the other occupants of the Castle started to trickle in. Hunk made sure to serve everyone else first, the way his moms taught him. 

He finally sat down to eat while Lance was explaining the panikekes to everyone else. Hunk was delighted when Lance described them as ‘clouds of pure awesomeness’. He took a handful for himself, and bit into the first one. A smile appeared on his face. They tasted of home.

Chapter Text

It had been a long while since Keith had cried. He wasn’t a very stoic person, but he wasn’t a crier either. He knew it wasn’t healthy, and he knew that he probably needed a therapist. All things considered, he didn’t care about any of that.

So he cried. It wasn’t loud and dramatic, it wasn’t racking sobs and gasping for air. It was quiet, angry tears. Shiro was gone. The fight against Zarkon was a victory, but one he could hardly feel. Shiro had disappeared- vanishing from the edges of the universe- and left Keith feeling more alone than ever. 

Tears fell against the inside of Keith’s helmet. He couldn’t bring himself to care. The others around him were stunned, and Hunk was just full on sobbing. Lance stood in the corner quietly, and Pidge could hardly mask the shock from her face. ‘ Meet the Paladins, a group of rag-tag children who look like their entire world was ending.’ Keith thought bitterly. Coran’s voice came through the comms.

“Paladins? What happened?”

No one wanted to answer. “Shiro’s gone.” 

Everyone snapped their heads around to look at Keith, who had uttered the words as if he was bored. “Well, he is, and there’s nothing we can do about it!” 

He had stormed off then, or done whatever the zero-gravity equivalent to it was, and found himself back in Red. Wordlessly, he had started flying. His comms were turned off. The team would give him hell for it when he came back. If he came back. He had flown around the quadrant, too mad to stop and too sad to think. Before he knew it he had landed on a vaguely Earth-like planet with purple skies.

After assuring that it was safe, he popped off his helmet and sat on the dirt-like surface. It wasn’t unlike the land outside of the Garrison, actually. He could still see the orange sandish surface, and still feel the burning heat. It might actually be the fact that this new planet has two suns, but Keith liked to believe otherwise.

‘Are you going to open it?’ Shiro’s voice carried along the small room. It was sort of Keith’s, and he had certainly decorated it enough. A letter remained closed in his hand. 

‘I don’t know. I’m kind of scared.’ He was terrified. The Garrison logo on the front meant that this would be the result. Acceptance or not- this was an official letter. The kind that could determine the future.

‘I get that. I was scared when mine came, too. Do you want me to open it with you?’ Shiro was really nice. Keith had only been living with him for a few months, but the Garrison pilot always knew what to say to comfort him.

‘Can you?’ The paper crinkled in Keith’s hands. Mustering the courage, he ripped the envelope open. Now or never, he guessed.

The pain of the memory was astronomical. Shiro, his brotherly love and his lame jokes, was gone. Vanished. It was some cruel twist of fate, huh? Everyone he ever loved was ripped from him, why did he believe that Shiro would be different?

He had promised. Shiro promised that he wouldn’t give up on Keith, and he didn't. But why did Keith feel as if he had? His disappearance- no, death - was out of his control, but Keith was still angry. Very angry. 

‘Be patient, Keith. The more aggravated you get, the more your enemy can use that to their advantage.’ They were the only ones on the training deck. Keith had requested this extra coaching, given the fact that it was his brashness that led to many of the team’s defeats. Shiro was always happy to help, and so here they were. 

‘I’m TRYING!’ A grunt escaped Keith as the training bot landed a hit. He was only on the third level, nothing advanced, and he was so frustrated. He was fed up, done, finished, whatever word you wanted to use he was it. He screamed and attacked the bot, just barely escaping the many hands flailing about. 

Shiro, apparently, decided that this was a good time to shut the program down. ‘Come on. We can cool off, and come back to this. Up for a game of Uno?’ Keith, slightly less frustrated, smiled. Uno was always fun.

Keith’s hands wiped away the many tears he had shed. The team was probably looking for him, he was an idiot, they would find him eventually. He didn’t want them to see him like this. Climbing back into Red, he sped back in the general direction of the Castle. He would get into so much trouble with everyone, but it was better than them seeing him like that. Better to see them on his own terms first.

That night, everyone was still a little shocked by the events of the day. Many of them couldn’t sleep. Keith, on the contrary, was too worn out to even try to fight his heavy eyes. A dream would be a welcome escape at this point. A dream could be changed to fit whatever he wanted. Perfect. Keith drifted off to sleep.

He saw Shiro. Not surprising, he had wanted to see him. He had a slight hue of purple around him. It wasn’t sickly like the Galra purple, but warm and inviting. He smiled, and his eyes smiled too. Keith almost cried at the sight of him. The person he considered to be his older brother. Shiro looked down at a box in his hand. 

“Want to play Uno?” Keith nodded. One final game would be a good way to say goodbye.

Chapter Text

They had taken his dad first. Matt couldn’t tell exactly when it had happened, maybe a few days after they were captured, when his dad had made the mistake of drawing a diagram of an atom in the soft edge of his prison issued boot. The prison guards took a notice to this; this stupid, small, childish drawing his dad had made. Matt hadn’t seen him again after that. 

They had taken Shiro next. After he pulled the bloodthirsty act to save him from certain death, Shiro wasn’t housed in the same area as the other prisoners anymore. The only time Matt had seen him after that was when they televised his fights in the mess hall for the guards’ entertainment. He still couldn’t shake the look that Shiro had - empty. Void of emotion. He had stopped paying attention to the monitors in the mess hall after that.

Now he was alone. Not completely, mind you, as he shared his cell with any number of prisoners, but he still felt like it. The translation implants were of a crude design, and only basic communication could be made. ‘ More food? None left.’ ‘Don’t forget me. I won’t.’ Only the worst for the prisoners. 

He was spared from more fights a few weeks later, mainly because he wasn’t ‘fun to watch’. Matt had tried to make the deaths as bloodless and quick as possible. It was the least he could do when pitted against the same alien who was his bunk mate for a full movement. The work camps were hardly better, but at least there it wasn’t a fight for your life. Or, at least, not in the same way.

“Matt, breathe!” His dad’s hand was on his shoulder. When did that get there? He was hyperventilating, gasping for air. He wasn’t going to live, he was going to die, he would never see his mom again, he would never see KATIE again, oh she’s going to be so sad- “MATT! I need you to breathe with me. Come on son.”

In, out. In, out. Matt’s father stayed there, an ever calming presence. Leave it to Matt to have a panic attack within the first day- has it only been a day?- of being captured. They still didn’t know the who, thee why, or the how. All Matt remembered was waking up in a small room with Shiro and his dad. They had been on Kerberos, and then suddenly, they hadn’t.

A metallic ‘clang’ sounded as one of the walls in their small cell opened. A cruel, purple face was grinning at them. “Orientation time.” They were dragged out of the room, off to who knows where.

He could get through this. If he could spend a year in Galran captivity, subjected to a whole new level of horror, manning an isolated rebel base would be a breese. It would give him time to think, maybe even locate Shiro and his dad. That was the only thing keeping him going, the fact that he may see them again. He didn’t want to face the probability that he wouldn't.

So he sat, in silence, for long stretches of time. Matt was never used to the silence. His home was always filled with the bark of a dog, and his bunks in both the Garrison and Kerberos filled with snoring. So, he did what any same human would do. He sang. It was never good, and he wouldn’t earn a Grammy award, but it was something to fill the deafening silence.

“You sing pretty well for a guy under a lot of stress.” They had been in captivity for about a month now, and Shiro had yet to be separated from him. Matt had another panic attack, and Shiro had done the one thing he knew how to. He sang. It was beautiful, rounded out notes full of emotion. It had done the job.

“Well, some things you never forget, I guess.” Matt hadn’t wanted the deep voice to stop. He knew it was selfish, he knew it was self-absorbed. As much as he wanted to ask for another, he restrained. Shiro had done enough already, and too much noise would attract the guards.

“Prisoners 117-9875 and 126-8476. Stand at attention.” The both rose and faced the back wall, away from the cell door. Wherever they were taking the both of them, it must have been important. They rarely ever took both of them at once.

Matt took a deep breath. Now was not the time to have these memories come back. “As I was saying, Olia, I think that the base in the Torak system might be promising. My intel says that they house some of the more important meetings there.”

“Great job, Holt. We will contact you in a phoebe.” The call ended. It had horrible quality, but at least it wasn’t trackable. The silence surrounded him in that deafening quality that he hated. Menatlly choosing a song, he had started to sing.

“ You are my sunshine,

My only sunshine.

You make me happy,

When skies are grey.

You’ll never know, dear,

How much I love you.

Please don’t take my sunshine away.”

Tears ran down his face, hot and fast. His mom had sung that song to him everytime he had a nightmare. Maybe that’s why he had chosen it. It reminded him of her.

“This one’s for you, mom.”

Singing the song again, he went about his daily tasks. It made them a little more tolerable, having a rhythm to do them to. Maybe, just maybe, he could hear this song from his mom one more time. But first, he had to help save the world. The irony, huh? A small, scrawny kid with anxiety needs to save the world and everything in it. Matt smiled. He couldn’t wait to see his mom again.