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Things were going unbelievably well for Veronica lately. She was going to get married in less than a week and almost everything seemed to be going right. For starters, she was head-over-heels in love with her fiancé, Will. Their whole relationship had been amazing, and now she was going to marry him, and even though they’d been engaged for months, the thought still made her giddy.
What surprised Veronica was how happy the people around her seemed to be about this. Martha and Heather McNamara planned the perfect bachelorette party. Veronica worried that Heather might feel weird about the whole thing, but she was nothing but happy for Veronica. Martha was of course maid of honor, and she had cried tears of joy when Veronica asked her. Heather Chandler had cut down on her post-mortem snark and actually helped Veronica plan the wedding. Heather Duke had agreed to be a bridesmaid, which surprised Veronica, since she wasn’t even expecting Heather to RSVP. Even Kurt and Ram were being surprisingly chill, only making one remark about how “a hot piece of ass is gonna be off the market”.
There was one thing that was standing in the way of Veronica’s pre-marital bliss. Or rather, one person. In addition to being haunted by the ghosts of her manslaughter victims, she was also haunted by the ghost of her dead ex-boyfriend, who really did not like that she had moved on after he died.
“I still can’t believe you’re going through with this,” he said as she and Will double-checked everything on their flower order. Of course, Veronica couldn’t respond to him, since she didn’t want her fiancé to know that she was haunted by her dead classmates, “we were meant to be together! Our love is God!”
“Hey, Roni, can we wrap this up later?” Will asked, “I really hate to leave, but I just got a message that Steve got arrested for something related to my bachelor party.”
“I’m guessing I don’t want to know?” She asked. She’d dated Will long enough to know that while he was pretty normal, his friends could go a little overboard.
“I don’t know what happened, but when I get back, I promise I will spare you the gory details,” he said, kissing her on the cheek as he got up.
“More likely it’s the drunken and vomit soaked details,” Veronica said with a laugh.
“You’re right,” he said as he walked out the door, “see you soon.”
“See you!” she called to him. Once the door what shut, she immediately turned to JD. “What is your damage?”
“What’s my damage?” he asked, incredulous, and Veronica wondered why she dated him, “I’m not the one who’s going to marry some rando in less than a week.”
“He’s not some rando. We’ve been dating for almost a year and a half,” Veronica said, “which is way, way longer than we dated, by the way.”
“Oh, yeah, because I made the mistake of trading my life for yours!”
“You’re the one who made the bomb in the first place!” Veronica shouted, “besides, I broke things off with you before then. You know, when you pointed a gun at me.”
“That was an accident,” he muttered, giving her the puppy dog eyes that might have worked when she was seventeen, but didn’t work now.
“Really? Are we really having this fight again?” Veronica asked, “It’s been eight years, and we’ve discussed this several times. You tricked me into killing people, tried to kill me, and almost blew up my classmates. There’s a snowball’s chance in hell that I’d want to do anything close to getting back together with you.” He did that disappearing thing that her dead classmates occasionally did. Of course, the second he did, she heard someone slowly applauding her. She didn’t have to turn around to know who it was.
“It’s about time you did something about him,” Heather Chandler said.
“Not now, Heather,” Veronica said, holding her head in her hands and rubbing her temples. Her elbows were crumpling up the receipts that were on the table, but that was the least of her worries at that moment.
“I’m serious,” Heather said, and Veronica lifted her head. In all the years that she had known Heather Chandler, this is the first time Veronica had ever heard her be genuinely caring. “He’s a creep, and he needs to leave you alone. I mean, I try my best, but there’s only so much a girl can do.”
“Thanks, Heather,” Veronica said.
“Maybe now you can work on your shit taste in flowers,” Heather said, and Veronica groaned because she knew that the Mythic Bitch was back to normal.
-
“Martha, do you have any extra bobby pins?” Heather McNamara asked as she held a few strands of Veronica’s dark hair in her hands.
“No, but I bet Heather does,” Martha said from down the hall.
“You’re probably right,” Heather said, she looked down at Veronica before dropping her hair, “I’ll be right back.” Right as Heather left, Veronica’s stomach sank. She’d been through enough hell over the past few weeks to know what was coming.
“For the record, I’m still not over the fact that you invited both of the living Heathers to your wedding,” JD said. It took a great effort for Veronica to not rest her hand on her temple, a stress habit that could mess up her almost-done hair.
“Shut up,” she hissed. She really, really didn’t want to look like she was losing it on her wedding day. Although from what she had heard, Heather Duke had raised the bar for bridezilla behavior.
“I’m saving you from yourself,” he said with a shrug, “even though you broke up with me, I still care about you enough to stop you from marrying that asshole.”
“You think everyone but you is an asshole, JD,” Veronica said. He pouted.
“I don’t think you’re an asshole.”
“What a compliment,” Veronica said. Despite her best efforts, she was losing her cool. She had to get it together, or else he would win this.
“You know what I mean,” he said, “you’re so much better than every person here. I don’t know why you’re doing this to yourself.”
“Christ, I really should have taken you to a shrink when you were alive,” Veronica muttered. She didn’t have time to elaborate, because Martha ran into the room.
“Veronica, there’s an emergency. The bartender just threw up!” Martha said. Veronica sat in shock for a second.
“What?” She finally asked. Heather Duke strolled into the room, no doubt to avoid the chaos outside.
“He’s spewing all over the place,” Heather said, examining her nails, “it’s really gross.”
“We don’t have a back up plan. This just came out of nowhere, one second he’s fine, and another we have to take him to the hospital because he’s not doing well,” Martha said.
“Not to mention that someone’s got to clean up the puke,” Heather Chandler said, having materialized in the corner. Veronica glared at her. “What? Someone has to keep their priorities in order here, even if they’re not very humanitarian.”
“Okay, this throws a wrench in things,” Veronica said, her fingers placed along her hairline, “he’s okay, right?”
“I mean, we had to take him to the hospital, but Dennis drove him and he said that the doctor thinks he’ll be fine,” Martha said. Veronica let out a sigh of relief.
“Okay, um, maybe we can get one of the catering people to fill in,” Veronica said, “I remember in college I had to get my liquor license to be a waitress, so they probably have their licenses. Maybe one of them knows enough about bartending and wouldn’t mind the short notice?”
“I can check on that,” Heather said, before sauntering out.
“No doubt she can also check if any of them don’t care that she’s married,” Heather said with a smirk. Veronica couldn’t tell her to shut up with Martha in the room, so she gave her best death stare.
“Veronica, I know this is a problem, but don’t worry,” Martha said, putting an arm on Veronica’s shoulder, “we’ll get this figured out.”
“You’re right,” Veronica said. Of course, she couldn’t explain that the Bartender’s illness was the least of her worries. As close as Martha was, she didn’t know what had happened with JD, even though she’d had her suspicions back in high school. Martha gave her one last smile before heading out to deal with something else. Veronica tried to hold in a sigh as she left the room, because JD wasn’t even trying to hide the smirk on his face anymore. That fuck.
“Why do I get the feeling that you had something to do with this?” Veronica muttered. At this point, she didn’t give a shit about her hair, and her index finger was burrowing its way into her dark curls. JD tried his best to look innocent, which is something he’d somehow gotten worse at doing.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” JD said, staring at the collar of his trench coat. Veronica frowned.
“JD, please don’t lie to me,” Veronica said. JD raised his eyebrows.
“Why do you think this is my fault? I mean, anyone could have left out a cup of antifreeze well within Will’s reach,” JD said. The second after he said that, he realized the error in what he said.
“Well within Will’s reach?” Veronica repeated. Her eyebrows were raised, because after years of being haunted by JD, she was still shocked by some of his antics.
“I thought the bartender’s name was Will, too,” JD said. Veronica just glared at him.
“JD.” Veronica said, staring him down. He sighed.
“Look, it’s not like I was going to kill him or whatever,” JD said. Veronica looked incredulous. She didn’t know what to say. Luckily, someone else in the room had an answer.
“Wow! We’re making improvements here!” Heather Chandler said. Her bright red robe fluttered as she patronizingly patted JD on the shoulder.
“What were you going to do?” Veronica asked. She almost shouted it, before she remembered that even with the commotion going on, shouting at thin air would make her look like she’d lost it.
“I was just going to make him kind of sick,” JD said.
“What the hell?” Heather asked, holding back a laugh. JD looked insulted by Heather’s response.
“I figured that if he got sick, Veronica would have some time to reconsider the whole wedding thing, and remember that she and I were meant to be,” JD said. Heather just stared at him, incredulous.
“That is the dumbest idea I’ve ever heard,” Heather said slowly, “did you have a brain tumor for breakfast?” JD looked like he was going to respond, but Veronica cut him off before he could start an intense argument.
“What the fuck?” Veronica shouted. At this point, she didn’t give a shit if her friends and family thought she was crazy. She probably was, and she was tired of holding it in. “What good could possibly have made you think that plan could have worked?”
“Call me an optimist,” JD said with a shrug. Of course, he didn’t seem to understand the implications of his actions. He really hadn’t changed, and Veronica was horrified as she realized that it was possible that maybe JD never would. If he’d survived, hell, if all of them had survived, maybe he could have changed, but that wasn’t the way things were. She didn’t have much more time to think through a response to JD’s really, REALLY fucked up plan, because Martha came running into the room.
“Okay, we found someone to cover for the bartender, gotten everything cleared up, and Dennis says he’s on his way back, so at least we’ll have the best man there,” Martha said. Veronica could only smile at her best friend. Even though her ex-boyfriend may haunt her, at least she had the most wonderful best friend in existence.
“So we’re back on schedule?” Veronica asked hopefully. Martha nodded vigorously in response. JD leaned against the wall, fuming. Of course, he was a ghost, so he fell through the wall, and Heather burst out laughing. He smacked her on the arm, as if that would stop her, but she laughed harder, and then left, probably to tell Kurt and Ram about what had just happened. Heather McNamara entered the room a few seconds after Heather Chandler left.
“Hey, Veronica, Martha probably- oh my God! What happened to your hair?” Heather asked. She had a look of quiet horror as she took in Veronica’s tresses, which were sticking up towards the front.
“Sorry,” Veronica said with a sigh, “I tend to take out a lot of stress on my hair.”
“Oh, well,” said Heather. Veronica could tell she was calming down, which was good, “at least this shouldn’t be too hard to fix. Martha, hand me the hairspray, please.” Heather got back to work, moving a curling iron with a sort of grace Veronica would probably never be able to manage. After a few minutes of Heather’s precise adjustments, Veronica’s hair was better than it ever had been.
“Wow, Heather!” Veronica said. “This looks amazing!” Heather gave her a shy smile in response. Veronica tried to get rid of the memory that Heather and Heather didn’t really complement her that often. Heather Duke strolled back into the room.
“Hey, they need you to haul ass to the altar,” Heather said. Her voice was awfully slow for someone who was supposed to be in a hurry. “So if you’re ready, you should probably motor.”
“Thanks Heather,” Veronica said, and Heather Duke walked out of the room, giving Veronica a lazy wave. She turned towards Martha and Heather McNamara, “Can I have a minute alone?”
Heather turned to look at Martha, uncertain about the question given the recent news. Martha smiled at Heather before turning towards Veronica.
“Take all the time you need,” Martha said, sweetly, “just let us know when you’re done.” Martha ushered Heather Mac out of the room, and Veronica turned away from the mirror and towards JD.
“I need you to do something for me,” Veronica said. She was doing everything in her power to keep her tone of voice confident, because fuck it if she was going to let her dead technically-still-seventeen-year-old ex-boyfriend see her being vulnerable. JD raised his eyebrows in response. Veronica inhaled deeply, still nervous about pitching an idea to someone who had no power in her life. “Leave Will alone.”
“What?” JD asked.
“I’d get it if you had some issues with me,” Veronica said, “and if you want to cause me trouble, honestly, at this point, I really don’t give a shit, but please leave Will out of it. He didn’t do anything wrong, and by trying to poison him, you’re acting like an asshole.” JD looked stunned for a second, then he smirked.
“What are you going to do about it?”
“I don’t know,” Veronica said, simply, “I don’t know how this weird thing you have going on works. I know who does, though, and I can leave it up to her to deal with the consequences. Plus, if there’s one thing I know after knowing Heather Chandler for fourteen years, it’s that she can get creative when it comes to making people miserable.”
“Color me impressed,” he said, “fine. That’s your wedding present. I’ll stay out of your hair and leave your fiancé alone.” And then he was gone.
“Veronica, are you ready?” Martha asked, popping her head in the doorframe. Veronica smiled.
“Yeah,” she said, “let’s do this,” and she walked into the main hall of the church, looking at a day free of all of her problems. Sure, they would have to return eventually, but she’d deal with that when she had to.