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When Jesse decides to take the radio that’s in Archives, it’s when she was hiding from the Hiss who were in turn distracted by the Astral Spike on the ground floor of the sector. No one will notice; at least, definitely not for a while, right?
Spotting it alone on a desk, she didn’t think twice to turn it on, spilling forth a quiet, languid melody into the room. It’s no Old Gods of Asgard, but music was music all the same and it was going to be a while until she could finally leave the Archives.
In the years when Polaris wasn’t with her, Jesse filled the echo chamber of her mind with any and all forms of noise, and the louder the song, the better. Anything to keep from reliving the day that ruined her life in all its vivid detail and heart wrenching regrets. The song was the opposite from those other songs she’d used to escape with though. In its opening piano chords, the low register of the vocalist, and most of all, the echoing plucks of the guitar, the song lulls and weighs on her mind with a pleasant haze. There was an escape here, not one taken in haste or desperation, but rather in a gentle coaxing.
Polaris shimmers in her peripherals, the blue crystals shifting like a dance. She enjoys the song as well.
At the same time that carnage was happening outside of the room she took shelter in, Jesse sat beside the radio as it played the slow, subdued song. She hears papers scattering from the whirlwind of the Astral Spike, glass shattering from flying projectiles, and desks splintering against walls. All of that, and yet... it was strangely peaceful with the song as the score. It was probably the calmest she’s felt in a while. It was almost too good to be true and a part of her wonders if the radio was actually an undocumented Altered Item.
Polaris was quick to refute it. In you, a revolving constant; gallantry begets debility, in you the course revolves, demands to rest before enduring.
“So in other words, I’m tired, right?” Jesse says wryly.
If there hadn’t been a literal battle happening, Jesse probably would’ve fallen asleep there in the middle of the office floor. Maybe that’s as good a sign as any that Polaris was right.
Polaris chimed in agreement, though the crystals looked sharper.
Jesse chuckles airily. “You’re starting to sound like Emily.”
When the Archives finally falls quiet, she creeps out from her hiding place and brings the radio back with her through the Control Point back to Central Executive and up into her office. Her first addition to the space that used to belong to Trench.
Playing the song reminded her of that moment, that disconnected piece of halcyon despite the havoc happening less than thirty feet below her. Kind of like how it felt to rest in her office while the threat of Hiss still existed throughout the Bureau.
Laying down on her back on the couch, and staring blankly up at the ceiling while her fingers tapped against her thigh to mimic the keys of the piano, she feels the pull towards sleep.
She can’t remember the last time she slept, not that she thought about it much. The Hiss kept her plenty awake. She should be embarrassed, she thinks, to be finally brought down by a song like this after everything that’s happened and everything she needs to do. But the further and further she’s pulled into slumber, the less she finds that she cares about that.
Emily emerges from the Board Room with a file in hand instead of her usual clipboard and she makes her way over towards the makeshift command center to the left of the staircase.
“Arish, have you heard from Jesse at all?” Emily asks.
He looks up from the spread of papers and maps, and the Ranger he was speaking to falls quiet. “Yeah she came through the Control Point about half an hour ago. Poor thing looked dead on her feet.”
Emily clutches the folder tighter in alarm. “Is she alright? Shit, don’t tell me she went back out there.” For as much as she admires Jesse’s tenacity and strength despite little to no prior training, she’d hate it if she ever saw her severely injured or... worse.
“She didn’t,” Arish assures with his easy going smile and jerks a chin in the direction of the Director’s Office. “She said that she had something to drop off in her office but didn’t come out. With any luck she’s finally resting.”
Hopefully, Emily thought. “I’ll check on her. I have something to give her anyway. Thank you, Arish.”
“No problem,” he gives a two-fingered salute and returns his attention back to the Ranger he had been conversing with.
Emily knocks on the door to the Director’s office. “Jesse?” she calls. No answer. Instead, she could just barely hear music coming from inside. That was certainly new.
“Jesse,” she says again and carefully opens the door. Peering inside, she sees Jesse’s leather jacket haphazardly thrown on a chair. Then a little to the left was Jesse herself sprawled on her back on the sofa and a radio playing at the edge of her desk.
Emily smiles at the sight, laughing quietly through her nose. The carpet muffles her footsteps as she walks over to the desk to set down the folder. That should’ve been the moment where she leaves, but her curiosity gets the best of her as it always does. Rooted in place in front of the desk, she drinks in the sight of the slumbering Director. She observes how Jesse’s lips were slightly parted and how, even in her sleep, Jesse still wore a frown. Though, it was impossible to deny that she looked more at ease.
It was strange to see the new Director so still . The woman was a constant state of motion, an unstoppable force undertaking the herculean task of making an unmovable object submit. Even while they conversed in the Board Room in their respective seats, Jesse shifted and fidgeted about, always moving no matter how minute the motion was.
But moments like these serve to remind that Jesse was still very much human. A woman who walked into a shitty situation and expected to fix it without any sort of training or even context as to what she’s gotten involved in.
A break doesn’t seem like nearly enough, but she’s glad to see that the woman was taking one.
Emily glances about for any sort of blanket or covering to throw over her, anything to make her at least a little more comfortable. But the office is as spartan and impersonal as Trench was, even though he practically lived at the Bureau. Of course he wouldn’t have anything like that just lying around. Maybe she could borrow a blanket from one of the emptied saferooms.
The sound of rustling fabric and creaking of the sofa pulled Emily out of her deliberation. She froze. Was it too late for her to make a dash towards the exit before Jesse could see her?
Of course it is , her thoughts mocked.
Jesse’s eyes blink open, bleary and unfocused as they take in their surroundings. A subtle crease formed between her brows until she finally saw Emily in front of the desk. The corner of her lip quirks up. “Weird seeing you out of Central Executive,” she says through the raspiness of a sleep addled voice.
“Weird seeing you sit still for so long,” Emily jokes back, keeping her voice just above a whisper as Jesse slowly came out of her languid state.
She rubs a palm over an eye, making no effort to sit up. “How long was I out?”
“Arish said that you came up here a half hour ago to drop something off.” She gestures to the radio. “I take it that it was this?”
Jesse nods, and stretches her arms up over her head with a groaned yet relieved, “Shit,” as her joints popped. The sofa wasn’t the most comfortable thing in the world, but she’s definitely slept on worse. Nothing will ever top that god awful hotel lobby chair she accidentally dosed off on and subsequently woke up with a massive crick in the neck.
“I didn’t take you as the type to need music to sleep,” Emily comments.
She shrugs. “I’m not. The song was just really nice.”
Emily pauses to listen. It was about to near its end but it was more than enough for her analytical mind to dissect. “Not surprising,” she says conclusively. “Notes in this particular key evokes melancholy and empathizes with a sense of loneliness and isolation. Very ideal to lull the mind into a mellow state to the point of drowsiness.” At Jesse’s playful eye roll, Emily raises an amused brow and crosses her arms over her chest. “ Or, maybe you’ve run yourself so ragged that it was only a matter of time that you’d finally collapse.”
Jesse snickers, an airy sound with lingering lethargy. “Yeah, yeah. Polaris already beat you to that point.”
“Well good, I’m glad someone is. Anyway, I just came up here to give you this.” She holds up the folder before setting it back down. “I’ll let you—”
The song loops back to the beginning with its piano notes and she gives the radio a lingering look. It really did sound serene.
“Emily?” Jesse says when the researcher’s voice tapered off.
“It makes me... think of the Quarry,” she answers suddenly. Her gaze returns to Jesse with a bright wistfulness in them. Jesse finds herself unable to look away, “That expansive view of stars... I can only imagine what a song like this must feel like there.”
Jesse does exactly that and just barely suppresses a dreamy sigh. She’s always loved stars, especially back when she was a kid. It was how Polaris got her name after all. The Bureau had no windows and who knows what time of day it was now, so the Quarry was probably the clearest view of stars she’s had in awhile. Or probably ever will.
She winces internally. Shit, that’s kind of a depressing thought . “Pretty poetic of you, Pope.”
“I suppose I’m allowed to have literary moments at least once in a while,” Emily jests.
The conversation lapses where the music fills the space between the two of them. It’s a comfortable pause until Jesse shifts about as words billowed up within her. Fuck it, just say it. “I can take you there when the Hiss and Astral Spikes clear out of it,” she promises. “We can test out that theory together.”
Emily laughs. “I’d hardly call that a theory, Jesse. That would mean that I’ve formed a hypothesis and tested it several times over. It was more of a mindless musing than anything.”
Jesse groans, waving a dismissive hand as she pushes herself to sit up. “Yeah, yeah semantics and the Scientific Method, I took seventh grade science too, you know. Just let me have a moment.”
“If you want to have ‘a moment,’ then you have to be accurate,” came the grinning challenge.
Then an idea comes to her.
Jesse stands abruptly, her vision darkens and she wavers on her feet briefly before Emily supports her by the shoulders.
“Easy there. Standing up like that is a one way ticket to a headrush, you know.”
Jesse only hums non-committedly and, once her dizzied eyesight clears, gingerly takes one of Emily’s hands in hers; not quite lacing their fingers but still a gentle cradle, and rests her other hand on the researcher’s hip.
Meanwhile, Emily’s fingers twitch reflexively, surprised. Heat rose to her cheeks, but she didn’t pull away. Jesse’s hands are rough and calloused, a testament to her years of working odd jobs and the amount of climbing she’s done around the Bureau. Has Jesse always been this tall? They’ve talked so often while sitting down that she’s forgotten. “Jesse?”
“Do you want to stop?”
“That... depends.” She glances at the space between them. “What exactly are we doing?” The answer was obvious, but she wanted to hear Jesse say it anyway.
“Testing a hypothesis.”
“Oh? And what would that be?”
Jesse shrugs and leads them into a slow swaying while the song reaches the end of its first verse. “‘Is this song good to dance to?’ I figured we can work our way up to testing in the Quarry.”
A giggle bubbles out from Emily’s lips as she shakes her head good-naturedly. “That’s not an if-then statement.” She sways along with Jessie regardless. It was silly, perhaps even absurd for the Director and the Head of Research of the FBC to dance in the middle of a crisis to a song wholly unsuited for any sort of movement.
But this was Jesse Faden. Always on the move and defying conventions since she first stepped foot in the building.
And who was Emily to deny an opportunity for experimentation. The warmth nestling between and within them was also a notable perk, and it was enough for the researcher to forget the awkwardness of her HRA strapped to her chest. But not enough to quell the question of how Jesse would feel if she were pressed closer.
Hopefully someday soon Emily will be able to answer that. For now, just as the song was about to reach its end for the second time, she settled on laying her head against Jesse’s shoulder, noting the subtle jolt of surprise and the even more subtle intake of breath.
“Have you reached a conclusion, Director Faden?” Emily murmurs as the final notes dwindle into silence then, finally, stillness. Though, neither of them had stopped swaying.
Jesse squeezed their joined hands tighter and her hold on Emily’s waist. “I don’t know.” I don’t want this to end yet. “I think we need another run of it. You know, just to be sure.” Outward calm and confidence was second nature to her, though she knew just as well as Emily that her heartbeat was thunderous, no doubt Emily could hear it.
“How thorough of you,” the researcher praised with a teasing lilt. “We’ll make a scientist out of you yet.”
Jesse scoffs. “Thanks.”
The song loops once more, blanketing them from the chaos outside that awaited their return. Just for a while longer.