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Marlene Knaus was notoriously confident if anyone mentioned her charisma and glamour. She was a rising star in the modeling industry. Before she met Niki, she dated Curd Jürgens, the most famous German-Austrian in Hollywood at the time, and decided to dump him because she was fed up. Time to move on. So yes, she wasn’t exaggerating. Men chased after her. They would do anything to make her smile. She never doubted that. Beautiful people always enjoyed that little privilege over the rest population.
Speaking of Niki, Marlene’s smile deepened. Niki Lauda was a rigid and brilliant F1 racer. Shining in the world beyond her knowledge, though she caught a huge step up with it after their encounter. Certainly, she knew how many beautiful attractions her husband faced each day. Despite being a brilliant racer, Niki was not much interested in womanizing. That was exactly the point Marlene had decided to settle down with him. She loved his valiancy and unconventional charisma, of course. More, being with him made her feel safe. Deep down, she was a woman longing for a loving husband and several lovely children. Niki was very much the right person to fulfill that dream. Niki loved her, too. The soft words he told her from time to time and those affectionate reactions whenever he met her in the circuit. Marlene enjoyed the distinctive attention from Niki. She knew they belonged to each other.
Still, she felt unreasonably threatened from time to time. Someone might ask if it came from those female admirers who occupied half of the circuits all the time. Ironically, she hardly found any of them posing risks to her marriage.
James Hunt, on the other hand, was another story.
She was aware of Hunt’s reputation as a party animal and playboy. Women surrounded him all the time. He even blinked at her several times when she accompanied Niki to participate in those afterparties.
Notwithstanding the entire flamboyant façade Hunt had put up, exercised even ferociously, Marlene’s alert screamed deafeningly when the Brit stood close to her husband. Whenever and wherever.
She blamed herself at first for the ridiculous ideas and irrational jealousy over a man. Niki’s best foe and friend. She thought it had to be a kind of bromance they shared. Men were different than women in making friends. No discord, no concord. All the bickering and intensities between them flourished enormously during the match. Not to mention that Hunt had known her husband long before she did. Albeit she tried hard to tell herself not to overthink, she did not know how to justify a few situations that she happened to witness.
The first time was when they were at a soiree held by the FIA in London. They were dressed ceremoniously. Her husband may not be the best-looking man in the room, but Niki never failed to impress others with his effortless elegance when he was in a tuxedo, gifted by his aristocratic bearing. Marlene knew she married a charming man. Apparently, Hunt thought the same. When they were about to sit down at the table assigned by the committee, Hunt made his presence. He stood up and held Marlene’s hand, planting a feathery kiss on it.
‘You look beautiful, Marlene.’ The British smiled flatteringly. But somehow it didn’t really reach his eyes.
Marlene chided herself for overthinking while smiled back politely. To be honest, no woman can turn that smile down. Marlene sighed secretly. James Hunt was a beautiful man, she gave him the credit.
When Hunt turned to Niki. His smile palpably morphed into a genuine admiration. His eyes even narrowed wickedly.
‘You too, Niki.’ Hunt commented comically. Those who sat around them laughed lightheartedly when they heard what Hunt just said.
‘Arsehole.’ Her husband huffed out the nasty word. Endearingly. He even punched lightly on Hunt’s shoulder and cackled. Hunt laughed along and grabbed Niki’s arm, pulling him down to the seat right next to him. They quickly engaged each other into small talks, acting as if no one else was around. Marlene frowned, questions dancing in the corner of her eyes. She was unreasonably miffed about the scene.
She unconsciously stared at her husband and Hunt. They were chatting casually, laughing. Niki held up the water glass and sipped. Then, he caught Marlene looking at him searchingly. To her surprise, Niki’s face froze instantly though he immediately resumed his smile to her. He even put his hand over her gloved fingers, brushing the silky textile soothingly.
Hunt, leaning closer to her husband, seemed to notice something happening between his friend and Marlene. His gaze grudgingly left Niki and landed on Marlene.
‘My apology, Marlene. I haven’t seen Niki for a while. Got a lot to update. He’s all yours now.’ Hunt smiled that smile again. He sounded apologetic for excluding her from their conversation. So politely as he poised, Marlene could barely miss the smirk dangling on the corner of his lips.
Marlene didn’t hide her discomfort about Hunt on their way back, though she didn’t express her real concern, either. Her husband assured her that that’s how Hunt behaved all along. There was nothing to be concerned about. Even Marlene wasn’t convinced fully by Niki’s words, she also didn’t want to make a fuss out of anything. Nothing happened, maybe she was just too sensitive.
A few months after that soiree, they came to London again for a non-championship race. This time, they were invited to Hunt’s place for a gathering around. Some were fellow F1 drivers and some were Hunt’s friends. Booze and girls, certainly. Marlene was with Niki at the first. After Barry Sheene and his wife Stephanie came to get acquainted with her, Niki disappeared. The house was dim, with loud music and laughter. She couldn’t really fathom who was next to her if she didn’t look closely. Marlene trudged through the crowd and hoped that she could locate her husband’s whereabouts. Thoughts of Niki with Hunt insufferably emerged into her mind.
All of sudden, two people downright the corner of the hall caught her eyes. Despite the low visibility, she was positive that those two were exactly Niki and Hunt.
Hunt stood dangerously close to Niki with his hand resting on her husband’s hip. And Niki seemed not to mind for a bit about it. Hunt was speaking fast while Niki nodded accordingly. Then, someone accidentally bumped against her husband and he almost threw his champagne flute away. Niki fumbled frantically, trying to catch the failing vessel. When he almost lost the thing, another hand closed around Niki’s to help him catch it.
It was Hunt.
Hunt not only held her husband’s hand but also reeled the shorter man in by his shoulder. Niki laughed. Hunt echoed with a wide grin and bumped his forehead with Niki. So natural, that no one wouldn’t believe that they might have done it thousands of times. Marlene was uncomfortable. She knew something was not right. More so, instead of letting Niki go, Hunt’s hand sliding up Niki’s back, keeping him steady at the vicinity of the Brit. For a big fan of personal space, Niki enjoyed the closeness way too much. Marlene felt the goosebump all over her back.
Marlene had seen enough.
She pushed the crowd away. She scurried in a beeline to their corner. She couldn’t bear watching them anymore.
‘Niki!’ Marlene nearly shouted.
Niki jumped and instantly pulled away from Hunt. He seemed uncharacteristically startled by the sound of his name. The British were much more relaxing than Niki, he even came up with a smile to her.
‘What is it?’ Niki’s voice was mean. As if realizing his improper tone, Niki asked again. This time, much softer, ‘Marlene, what’s wrong?’
‘Marlene, a pleasure to see you again.’ Hunt tilted his head, extending his hand. A friendly gesture. But she couldn’t miss that his other hand still stayed firmly around Niki’s waist.
‘James.’ Marlene nodded sharply. Ignoring the extending hand, she just hauled Niki back and smiled harshly at Hunt while speaking to her husband, ‘Niki, I’m tired. I want to go back.’
‘Marlene, we just arrived.’ Niki was obviously not impressed by his wife's suggestion.
‘That’s alright, Niki. It has been a long day for all of us. Go back and take a rest.’ Hunt saluted his champagne flute to the couple,’ There’s always next time.’
Niki seemed persuaded this time. He patted Hunt’s shoulder. 'See you, James.'
'Take care, Niki.' The Brit brushed his fingers across Niki’s knuckles. He did not even hide his longing face from Marlene.
She never dodged a challenge. Especially from someone so blatantly who showed his intrusion. She wanted to question the British loudly, but her manner prevented her from slapping across Hunt’s face. As a matter of fact, they didn't do anything improper. At least, not in front of her. If she recklessly accused her husband of being involved with Hunt based on her instinct, she would look ugly. The last thing Marlene wanted was to drive Niki away. She had no choice but to leave.
On their way back home, neither of them said anything. Niki’s face was emotionless. He drove the car steadily, not looking at Marlene for once.
Marlene closed her eyes. She kept rewinding those contacts and looks between Niki and Hunt. She tried vainly to convince herself that it was only friendly. It wasn’t her misconception.
Niki kissed and hugged her lovingly before they retired to their bed.
Marlene tried to say something, but the warmness of Niki’s chest was too comfortable. She suddenly feared so much that if she pushed further, Niki would admit it. Admitted that James Hunt was never just a friend. And she had to accept that. God, she’s pathetic.
She initiated a sensual touch, thinking that maybe intimacy would defeat those baseless insecurities. Yet, Niki held her instead and murmured ‘I’m tired, dear.’
Marlene was awake all night, while Niki slept soundly beside her. She bit her fist so hard that Niki wouldn't hear her sobbing.
She wished that she could say she was losing Niki. Yet maybe, Niki was never hers to lose from the very beginning.