Chapter Text
Niki always preferred a placid life except for his time on the circuit. He had enough excitement through his racecar driving career and airline business, he would wish no more drama in his private life.
Indeed, he seemed to realize his dream with Marlene and two lovely sons, Luka and Mathias. But recently, something had subtly changed.
Marlene became paranoid. Even though she still smiled at him, took care of the household and their sons, she started asking him questions she would never ask before. Especially, when Niki came back after a long trip to other countries while Marlene stayed with two little boys.
‘Niki, how’s the trip?’ Marlene took over his suitcase and coat, putting them down on the sofa.
He just came back from a 2-week business trip
‘It was good. I bought something for you and the kids.’ Niki pressed a kiss on his wife’s cheek, ‘I hope our little champions didn’t give you too much of a headache.’
‘They are just like their father.’ Marlene smiled sweetly. She hooked her arms around Niki’s neck, ‘How’s New York?’
‘It was fine. The weather was as shitty as always, but those investors were surprisingly friendly.’ Niki raised his brows, ‘And they actually agreed to invest another 6 million to the company.’
‘That’s really good to know, Niki. I am happy for you.’ Marlene brushed Niki’s lips lightly, ‘And did you meet James?’
Niki contemplated the question for a few seconds, then answered, ‘Yes, we briefly met in Paris when I stopped by.’
Marlene casually nodded her head. But Niki didn’t miss her clenching fist that she thought he wouldn’t notice.
Niki vaguely recognized this unknown intensity or even animosity from Marlene to James. He thought about talking to her but gave it up each time when he met her eyes.
Marlene was too preceptive and he too bad a liar. He kept this secret to himself since there was no way he could tell anyone that he was in love with his best friend and rival. Not love him as a friend. Well, not just as friends. Niki knew better than to show his emotion to the world. Even they were in the middle of a carefree era, he doubted the tolerance of homosexuals. Not to mention that both James and he were married, or once married. They were the symbols of masculinity and manhood. Though Niki was no expert of sociology or ethics, his family was enough to stop him from doing anything more than remaining in a friendly relationship with James.
They barely met each other these days. Since James’ retirement 4 years ago, Niki could only meet him several times by an annual frequency. He spent a long adapting to the absence of James on the circuit, albeit he was happy that James could enjoy the life as he wished. James was the spirit of freedom, he shouldn’t be caged. Niki supported his best friend’s choice wholeheartedly. He still remembered that James held him tightly after his farewell competition in 1978, murmuring passionately into his ear, ‘Don’t’ be a stranger, Niki. Call me anytime you’d like. If you dare not talk to me more than one month, I will come to Vienna and strangle the hell out of your brain until you cannot speak for the rest of your life.’
Niki laughed then he buried his head into James’ chest. He tried to press his tears back. James was the last person he wanted to expose his discomposure to. He couldn’t bear the risk that James might find the hidden secret in his eyes. Those blue and sharp eyes always pierced into Niki’s mind and trapped him into the abyss of James Hunt. James just had no idea how much he could affect Niki. But Niki was satisfied with the status quo. It was a perfect and low-risk infatuation to Niki.
From then on, Niki made a phone call to James once or twice a month as they promised each other. The British was always chirpy on the other side. The call wasn’t long, 10 to 15 minutes to the most. James talked most of the time. He just laughed along and answered in a few words if necessary. When it came to an end, James always said, ‘You go first.’
Niki hummed an agreement and hang up. James was being courteous, nothing more. Niki told himself.
But somehow Marlene had huge interests in those phone calls. Especially after Lukas’ birth, Marlene started to wait on the side when Niki made those phone calls or sometimes picked a few from James. She usually took something, like a book or half-knitted scarf (she loved to make stuff for their son), sat opposite Niki. At first, Niki didn’t mind at all and even conferred James’ greetings to her. Yet, Marlene nearly came nearby too often that Niki started to think she did it on purpose.
Niki felt uncomfortable as he’s being watched. But he had no intention to make a big deal of it since it didn’t actually bother him that much. He wanted to sustain the peace in his private life and his friendship with James.
But things got worse when Mathias was born. He found Marlene would pick up the other phone and listened to his call with James. In fact, he inadvertently discovered it via Lukas. When he was on the phone, he heard some background noise through the line. At first, he thought it was from James' side so that he decided to ignore it. But then, Lukas' voice came through.
‘Mama.’
Instantly, James paused. Then he slowly resumed, ‘Is that your son, Niki?’
Niki was aware that who else was on the other side, but he didn’t call out the name.
‘Yes, James. I think he is asking for us. I need to go.’ Niki replied bit coldly. He was sure that the silent party understood his words.
To his huge surprise, he could still hear Lukas’ voices. Marlene had not put down the phone at all.
Obviously, James heard that, too. He inhaled a little, ‘I’ll talk to you next time, Niki. Don’t forget to convey my best wishes to Marlene and the boys.’
‘I’m sure they already know.’ Niki couldn’t help the snide comment.
‘Goodbye, Niki.’ This time, James hung up first.
Niki held the receiver, listening to the busy tone. He was furious now.
He threw the phone back and ran up to the stairs.
The other phone was in their bedroom. Niki pushed the door open, there she was. Marlene sat on the bedside, holding Luka in her arm. The phone was already put back.
‘Marlene, what is it?!’ Niki tried very hard to withhold his anger.
‘What is what?’ Marlene’s voice was calm and even sweet. She didn’t turn around to meet Niki.
Niki suddenly felt frustrated. He sighed and walked to Marlene’s side and sat next to her.
‘Were you on the phone?’ Niki asked quietly.
‘On the phone?’ Marlene sounded quizzical. She turned to Niki, eyes blinking.
‘I heard Lukas through phone, Marlene. He’s with you.’ Niki stated the fact, ‘If you want to know what James and I were talking about, you could’ve just asked.’
Marlene didn’t answer for a while. She just looked back at Niki, carefully.
‘You were talking to James.’ Marlene finally said, as if she just realized it. Niki didn’t like it at all. Marlene was playing dumb.
‘Marlene….’ Niki shook his head.
‘I didn’t know that. Lukas was fumbling with the phone receiver before I came into the bedroom, maybe that’s why you heard his voice.’ Marlene explained smoothly, ‘How is James? Last time, I read news about him dating a girl named Sara.’
Niki was caught off guard by the words. He stuttered, ‘Yes, well, he is always on and off a date. He’s James Hunt.’
‘Oh, really? I heard this time he is quite serious about the girl. She seems a decent and beautiful woman.’ Marlene leaned on Niki’s shoulder now, ‘It’s good for him, right?’
‘Yes, of course. He deserves to be happy.’ Niki answered weakly.
‘We all deserve to be happy, Niki.’ Marlene kissed him on the side of the neck, ‘I always pray for James finding his special woman. After all, he is your best friend. Imagine if we can have a family trip together.’
Marlene sounded genuine and sincere. Niki took her hands and held both her and Luka into his chest. But deep down his head, he knew something was not right.
**
Niki stopped making phone calls to James at home. He did not want another ‘accident’ like last time. Even he had nothing to hide, those times spent on the phone with James were for himself. Niki didn’t want anyone to disturb, not even his wife.
He told James that he was making the phone call in the street phone booth. James didn’t answer for a while, then he asked in a determined way, ‘Niki, when is your next business trip? You told me before that you need to leave Austria for some meet-ups right?’
‘Yes. The next time will be in 2 weeks, 4-day trip to Bonn.’ Niki wondered what James had in his crazy head this time.
‘Okay, I see.’
Niki heard the sound of shuffling and pen scratching the paper. ‘What is it, James?’
‘You will see, soon.’ James answered slyly.
Niki could almost see the lopsided smile on the British face. But he didn’t take it too seriously and soon forgot.
When Niki arrived in Bonn, he took a cab to the hotel his secretary had booked weeks before. It was a lovely 4-star hotel, located nearby the skirt of the downtown, quiet and convenient. Niki was satisfied with the choice.
When he walked to the concierge, there was a glimpse of golden hair caught his eyes. Niki shook his head, he must be delusional to think that James was here.
‘Niki!’
Niki didn’t turn back, he thought that he must be so exhausted to think that James was calling his name.
‘Niki!’ This time, the familiar sound unmistakably reached Niki’s eardrum.
Niki turned his head. James was just standing right behind, a few feet away, smiling his dazzling smile.
‘How..why..?’ Niki was completely losing his voice. His brain was blank.
‘Well, I called your secretary and asked for your hotel. Said I was coming to Bonn as well, see if I can meet my old pal for a bit.’ James answered proudly, pulling Niki into a tight hug, ‘Hello, ratty.’
‘And my secretary just sold me out like this? I need to fire him when I get back.’ Niki returned the hug at once, ‘How could he know you are not some suspicious nutjob?’
‘Oh, he recognizes my voice in the first few minutes.’ James laughed wholeheartedly, ‘I guess I am still popular, Niki.’
I watched your news and old competitions whenever I had time, of course, my secretary could recognize your voice. Niki thought coyly. He didn’t tell James, certainly.
‘I spent a fortune to come here, Niki. I have no money to live in such a fancy place.’ James looked at him sheepishly, ‘Well, I can stay in the lobby if they allow me…you see."
‘Shut up, arsehole.’ Niki stopped the blonde ruthlessly, ‘Why would I befriend with you?’
‘Cuz you love me.’ James still smiled.
Niki was stunned by the words. He knew exactly that James didn’t mean it, but for a few seconds, he thought James might have known all along. He calmed himself, and replied with a playful tone, ‘Of course I love you. Why else would I put up with such a big arsehole for so long?"
Niki didn’t dare to look up, he just proceeded to the concierge desk and checked in.
James stood behind. His face hid in the shadow.