Archive of Our Own

Iwaizumi didn't know what exactly he expected to come out of this.
He hadn't really thought at all to be honest.

Hell, it was nearly one in the morning and he'd been standing in front of Oikawa's house for almost five whole minutes without bringing up the courage to finally ring the doorbell.

Would Oikawa even open the door?
He had left so soon after they had arrived back at the school earlier.
Iwaizumi usually let him sulk for a while before he approached him again but today...

In the moments after the shrill sound of the whistle had echoed across the court, signalling their loss to Karasuno, Oikawa had seemed... calm almost.
While everyone else had fought hard against their own disbelief and frustration, especially Iwaizumi himself, Oikawa hadn't so much as shed a single tear.

Hajime could still feel where the captain had given him a hard clap on the back right as they had been called to assemble on the side of the field.
The touch had burned into his skin and lingered long after the team had said good-bye.

No one had been in the mood to go out for food or drinks but they had promised to go soon.
Just not today.
The loss still weighed too heavy on them.

Especially on Oikawa.

The captain hadn't said so, hell, he'd barely spoken a word since they had left the court hours ago but there had been that distant look in his eyes when he'd said good-bye to Iwaizumi a couple of hours ago.

Hajime had been concerned ever since, had even texted his best friend to ask if he was fine but no reply had come yet.
Sleep hadn't come to him either and it didn't take long until Hajime had felt sick to his stomach with worry and misery.

There had been no sense in going to bed again until he knew that Oikawa was doing okay.
Maybe not fine, but okay.

Iwaizumi and Oikawa had known each other since they'd been children.
Tooru had always wanted to win, always fought hard for whatever goal he wanted to achieve next.
A loss like today just didn't pass like it was nothing and Hajime was afraid that it had hit Oikawa harder than he'd previously thought.

Oikawa had looked so composed on the court as if he'd wanted to say 'It's not the end. We may have lost but it's not the end'.
But Iwaizumi knew that deep down Oikawa was a sensitive soul.

He had seen him vulnerable a couple of times over the years.
Once whe he'd almost hit Kageyama back in middle school, then when he'd injured his knee and was banned from volleyball for weeks on end, when they'd lost against Shiratorizawa.

There were more instances that Hajime remembered but the point was, he knew Oikawa didn't take this loss as lightly as he'd made it seem.
No way.

And what kind of friend would Hajime be if he left Oikawa on his own right now?

Yeah, Oikawa could be annoying as fuck and often Iwaizumi just wanted to smack some sense into him but they were still best friends after all.
Had been for more than a decade.

Tooru had always been there for him when times had been rough and Iwaizumi sure as hell would make sure that he'd do the same.

He took one last deep breath and rang the bell.

Oikawa's parents weren't home since they were on a business trip somewhere else in Japan but Hajime had seen the faint glow from Oikawa's desk lamp in the window.
He was home.

It took almost a whole minute until he heard shuffling footsteps from behind the door, then the lock clicked and the door opened a little.

Oikawa wasn't surprised to see Iwaizumi on his doorstep and when his eyes met Hajime's they just looked at each other for a moment.

“Iwa-chan”, Oikawa mumbled without his usual enthusiasm, his voice quiet and almost dull.
There was a small flicker of concern in his dark eyes though as he took in Hajime's dishevelled appearance.

Iwaizumi hoped that Oikawa didn't see the lingering redness in his eyes. (He'd been crying more than he'd like to admit)

“Can I come in?”, Hajime asked quietly.
Oikawa hesitated for a minute, uncertainty showing in his features for a split second.

“Why are you here anyway?”

The question threw Iwaizumi off for a second.

“I just... wanted to make sure you're alright. You didn't text me back.”

He held up the phone in his hand and showed him the still open chat window but Oikawa only glanced to the screen briefly before adverting his gaze again.

“I'll be fine, Iwa”, he then said.

“But right now you aren't.”

Oikawa's gaze flickered up and for one second their eyes met again but that single second was enough for Iwaizumi to read the truth in Oikawa's dark eyes.

'No.'

Tooru didn't say it out loud but Hajime knew.

A tense moment passed between them, one that seemed to last forever but it couldn't have been more than a few seconds.

A moment in which Oikawa decided if he should let Iwaizumi in or not.
If he did the already cracked facade he'd put on would surely crumble and turn to dust.
If he didn't Iwaizumi would leave without protest, Oikawa knew this. But he would feel horrible for sending him away.
He had seen his phone light up earlier, the notification with Hajime's message showing up on his screen briefly but he'd ignored it.

Hajime was only worried and Oikawa couldn't hold that against him.
It would be cruel to close the door in his face.

So he stepped back and left the door open a bit, allowing Iwaizumi to enter if he really wanted to.
Oikawa turned around and shuffled back into the house.

Hajime was nervous because Oikawa rarely behaved like this and he only dared to enter the house slowly.
He toed off his shoes and stepped into the living room.

Tooru was shuffling towards the couch but he walked slower than usual and there was a slight limp to his step.

Iwaizumi flinched at the sight and he took a quick step forward.

“Tooru, are you okay? Your knee... did you hurt it when fell after that last toss?”

Oikawa huffed quietly and flopped down onto the couch with a sigh, stretching out his right leg so that it was resting on a pillow.

“I'll be fine. It's nothing.”

“Oikawa-”

“I said it's fine.”

The words were quiet but there was a sharp tone in his voice.
Iwaizumi bristled and was about to snap back but then he paused.

Oikawa didn't need to be screamed at right now.
His desperately held up facade was crumbling enough as it was and Hajime wouldn't tear down the remaining parts with harsh words.
No.
He needed to let Oikawa come to him on his own.

His gaze softened and he mumbled a 'Wait here' before he made his way to the nearby kitchen.
He heard Oikawa answer with a sarcastic 'Where would I even go?'and Iwaizumi spat back a 'Shut up, Tooru' over his shoulder.
It was more out of habit, honestly, and it lacked the usual bite that accompanied the insult.

He opened the freezer and took out one of the cold compresses, wrapped it in a clean towel and returned to his best friend.

Oikawa followed every movement with his eyes but surprisingly he didn't protest as the younger carefully put the compress down on his aching knee.
He winced a little as the cold started to seep in but it numbed the lingering ache wonderfully within a minute.
He allowed himself a small sigh and closed his eyes, sinking back into the couch cushions.

“Better?”

Oikawa nodded wordlessly and he could feel the tension between him and Iwaizumi lessen a little.

“How's your back?”

“What do you mean?”, Oikawa asked and opened one eye to glance up at his friend who was kneeling beside the couch now, watching him carefully.

“Don't play dumb, idiot. We all saw you crash into that the table and chairs. Let me see.”

Iwaizumi had already pulled Oikawa up by the wrist and lifted up his shirt before the setter could complain.
“Iwa-chan!”, he whined, sounding more like himself than he'd had ever since they'd left the court.

It made a tiny smile tug at the corner of Iwaizumi's lips and he was glad that Oikawa couldn't see it.

The smile faded once Hajime caught sight of the angry red streaks across Oikawa's back.
He pulled the shirt up a little further and revealed a dark bruise near his shoulder blade.
Luckily the skin hadn't broken in any place but it was still a gruesome sight and Iwaizumi was glad that it wasn't a serious injury this time.

“How does it look?”, Oikawa asked quietly after a moment of silence.

“You'll live”, Iwaizumi answered. “It's nothing too bad.”

He hesitated a moment before he added: “But I would feel better if we put some ointment on there, just to speed up the healing process a bit.”

'And because I don't want you to be in pain.'

Oikawa didn't try to argue and gave a small nod.
“There should be some left in the drawer by the bathroom sink.”

Iwaizumi was surprised how easily his best friend complied, simply because he wasn't used to it at all.
Oikawa was the most stubborn person he knew, always insisting that he was fine and that he could handle things on his own even if that wasn't the case at all.

He took in Oikawa's hunched over form for a second before he slowly got to his feet.

He looked... tired.
And not only because they had had such an exhausting match today.
This was the kind of tired that a good night's sleep couldn't fix.

Iwaizumi had been right.
Oikawa wasn't fine.

He quickly retreated to the bathroom to get the medicine and then took a seat behind Oikawa on the couch.

“Get this off”, he mumbled and tugged a little on Oikawa's white shirt.

Again, the setter complied without protest when Iwaizumi had expected a lame joke about him wanting to see Oikawa shirtless or something like that.

But Oikawa just pulled off the garment wordlessly, crossed his arms on his pulled up knee and leaned his forehead against them, waiting.
Iwaizumi carefully started to rub in the ointment, apologizing quietly when Oikawa let out a pained hiss at one point.
He took his time, not wanting to miss a spot and he could feel the older relax under his touch a little.
It was therapeutic almost and Iwaizumi found comfort in the fact that even if he couldn't do much for Oikawa right now, he still could tend to his small injuries.

“Do you... do you think I could have been better?”

The question cut through the silence and a cold shiver ran down Iwaizumi's back.

He swallowed and tried not to let his uneasiness show as he continued to rub small circles in Oikawa's now warm skin.

“You gave it your all today, Tooru”, he answered after a moment. “More than any of us. You have nothing to be sorry for.”

Oikawa made a small humming sound in the back of his throat and didn't say anything else for a couple of heartbeats.

“Should I have been a better captain?”

Iwaizumi's fingers froze for a second before they were able to continue working.
His breath got caught in his throat for a second.
And Oikawa noticed.
Of course he did.
He curled in on himself more, hiding his face in the crook of his arm.

Hajime's heart raced, desperately looking for something to say that would comfort his best friend.
It didn't happen often but when Oikawa doubted his abilities, when he talked about himself like that... god, Hajime hated that the most in the world.

“Stop talking nonsense”, he eventually got out but again there was no real bite in his voice, just concern bleeding through. “You've been a great captain. The best. I know we don't always show it because... because you can be annoying a-and stubborn but that's not the point. You bring out the best in us, in every single one of us.”

A quiet sniffle escaped Oikawa's throat and Iwaizumi felt his heart break a little right then and there but then the setter raised his head, searching for his best friend's gaze.
His chocolate eyes were glistening with unshed tears but there was something else in them, like he desperately wanted to believe his best friend's words, like he wanted that validation from Hajime.

So Iwaizumi kept talking.
Because Oikawa needed to know what a brilliant person he was.

“You always motivate us and you always know what to say when one of us is down. You trained with us until you knew every last one of our habits and strengths and then you adapted to them so we could work as a team. Sometimes you train until you have no energy left anymore and nearly collapse and yeah, I think that's stupid but it's also admirable. Your passion and dedication are unreal, Tooru. None of us could have asked for a better captain.”

While Iwaizumi was speaking Oikawa's eyes went bigger and bigger.
A couple of tears tumbled down his cheeks but he didn't even seem to notice them.
He didn't sob or started to cry, just stared at his best friend with watery eyes as Iwaizumi said all of this, taking it in so he could hopefully remember the words for a long time.

Once his best friend had ended silence settled over them again but their gazes stayed locked and neither broke the eye-contact.

Iwaizumi desperately tried to think of another way to make Oikawa believe him but before something came to his mind Oikawa scrambled to turn around and crushed Hajime in a tight hug, his arms closing around the younger's waist, his face pressed into his chest.

Oikawa took in a shuddering breath but he couldn't help the sob tumbling from his mouth this time.
Iwaizumi snaked his arms around Oikawa's back and held him close, carefully avoiding the bruises.
He let his chin rest on top of Oikawa's head and gently shushed him as his best friend cried silently into his chest.

“It's okay. It's not your fault we lost. They were just too strong... You did well, Tooru. You did so well... I'm so proud of you.”

Hajime could feel Oikawa's wobbly smile against his collarbone and he smiled too.

The tears stopped soon after that and the sting in Iwaizumi's own eyes faded away too.
Once Oikawa's sobs had turned into the occasional hiccup Iwaizumi allowed himself to card through Tooru's messy brown hair once before he cupped his cheeks and raised his head up so their eyes could meet again.

“Enough crying now”, he mumbled and quickly swiped at Oikawa's damp cheeks with his thumbs. “Are you hungry? I can make us something.”

A quiet, shaky laugh escaped Oikawa but after all that crying it was music to Hajime's ears.

“Iwa-chan, it's almost two in the morning.”

“I don't care. Have you even eaten something since the match ended?”

Oikawa had to shake his head no and Hajime clicked his tongue.

“Thought so. Stay here. I'll see what I can make for us.”

Oikawa only let go reluctantly as Iwaizumi went to get up and a weird feeling made itself known in Iwaizumi's stomach as he realized he didn't really want to let go either.

“Put on one of your stupid romcoms”, he offered before he could decide to stay cuddled up with Tooru on the couch. “I won't complain, I promise.”

Oikawa's eyes lit up and Hajime had to hide a smile as Oikawa scrambled to grab the remote from the coffee table.

There wasn't much left in the fridge but Iwaizumi found some rice to put in the rice cooker and fried up some leftover vegetables and chicken strips. He added some sauce so the food wasn't too dry and then returned to the living room with two bowls and two pairs of chopsticks.

Tooru smiled softly and thanked him as he took his own bowl and scooted over so Hajime could sit next to him.

Obviously Oikawa had waited until Iwaizumi was back to start the movie and Iwaizumi fondly rolled his eyes.

They ate in silence but Iwaizumi noticed how much more relaxed his best friend seemed now.
Good.

Hajime wasn't an idiot though, he knew not everything would be fine immediately.
All of them would need time to recover from the loss today but Iwaizumi was positive that they could do it.
It would take a while but they had done it before.
They could do it again.

Iwaizumi brought the bowls back into the kitchen once they were done eating and then returned so they could watch the rest of the movie.

His own exhaustion made itself known twenty minutes before the movie ended and when he glanced to Oikawa he saw that his eyes were struggling to stay open too.

“Do you wanna go to sleep?”, Hajime asked and promptly yawned.

Oikawa hesitated for a second.

“Will you... will you go home?”

The question surprised Iwaizumi at first but it took less than five seconds to see through his best friend's question.
He wanted him to stay.

He'd done that once before, on the day when he'd finally come home from the hospital after his knee injury.
Oikawa had his stupid pride but he also knew when he was at his limit.
He knew when he needed someone and he was brave enough to ask for it, although indirectly.

“I will stay if that's what you want”, Iwaizumi answered, voice gentle.

Oikawa glanced at him for a second with those big eyes and he pouted a little as he nodded.
Warmth spread in Iwaizumi's chest and he opened his arms without even thinking about it.

“Come here, you idiot”, he mumbled and smiled when Oikawa complied and nuzzled into his chest with a satisfied hum.
They made themselves comfortable as best as they could with Iwaizumi reclining against the armrest and Oikawa hugging him close as they watched the rest of the movie.

Iwaizumi started carding through Oikawa's brown locks slowly while the setter's tired eyes were glued to the screen as he tried to follow the rest of the plot.

It was awfully domestic but Iwaizumi found he didn't mind.
He'd grown comfortable in Oikawa's presence over the years and even if they weren't close like this often it never felt wrong.
Quite the opposite in fact.

The film came to an end and once the credits rolled Oikawa let out an enormous yawn.

“Let's go upstairs”, Iwaizumi said, barely able to hide the amusement in his voice. “We earned some good night's sleep.”

They got up and Hajime let Tooru set the pace as they made their way up the stairs and to Tooru's room.
The setter was still limping the tiniest bit but it was way better than before already and Iwaizumi's lingering worries eased a little.

Oikawa gave him some clothes to sleep in and they changed in silence before Oikawa climbed into bed first, scooting over to the far wall so there was room for Iwaizumi too.

They pulled the covers over themselves so it was nice and warm and then they laid in the dark for a while.
The silence was comfortable and the warmth they were sharing was nice.
Still there was a weird atmosphere in the room, lingering between them.
Iwaizumi listened to Oikawa's slow breaths for a while and he was hyper-aware of their arms touching beneath the blanket.

“Hajime?”

“Yes?”

“Thank you for being here for me.”

Oikawa's voice was quiet but honest and Hajime knew that this was one of his vulnerable moments.
The rare occasions where Tooru let his guard down completely and let Hajime see everything.
Iwaizumi's heart started beating faster in his chest as he tried to dismiss Oikawa's words with a small chuckle.

“No need to thank me. I'm always there when you need me, you know that, right?”

His pulse ran a mile a minute though and betrayed his words.

Oikawa shifted under the covers, turned a little so he was on his side and could look at his best friend better.
Only a little light from the street lamp outside filtered into the room but it was enough to illuminate their faces.
Enough to read each other's expressions.

“I know”, Oikawa whispered and looked deep into Hajime's eyes.
He didn't know why but it was easier in the dark, in the safety of his bed, protected by his blankets and Hajime's warmth.
“I just want you to know that I don't take it for granted. You're always by my side when I need you the most, even if I'm annoying and even if I s-sometimes push you away... you're always there. Because you know. And I love you for that.”

Hajime's heart certainly skipped a beat when Oikawa spoke that last sentence.
A small gasp got stuck in his throat and he had trouble finding words, every sentence he started to build in his head not enough to answer to what Oikawa had just told him.

They never broke eye contact though and Oikawa smiled a little, seeing all the different emotions flicker in his best friend's eyes as he searched for the right thing to say.

“You don't have to say anything”, he cut in before Iwaizumi could attempt to answer him. “I just... wanted you to know...”

Tooru smiled a little but his eyes gazed down, away from Iwaizumi's intense eyes.

The gesture made him look sad and hell no, no way would Iwaizumi let his best friend feel like that again.

Instead of saying something he reached out and pulled their bodies flush together.
Oikawa made a surprised noise but then he tucked his head under Iwaizumi's chin and curled into his chest.
Hajime's strong arms circled around him and held him close and safe and with a small sigh Oikawa closed his eyes.

Hajime didn't let go and Tooru didn't try to get away.
And that was enough right now.

Hajime didn't know how much time passed but eventually he nuzzled into Tooru's soft hair.
The setter didn't stir, his breaths still coming in slow warm puffs against Hajime's throat.
After a second of hesitation he pressed a feather-light kiss to Tooru's hair.
His lips lingered there for a couple of seconds and then he closed his eyes.
An involuntary smile tugged at the corner of his lips and he only held his best friend tighter, the warmth in his chest spreading even more, leaving him content and happy.

“Damn it, you idiot”, he mumbled fondly and slowly drifted off to sleep once his racing heart started to calm down.

Oikawa smiled a little in his dreams.

Beams of sunlight filtered through a gap in the blinds and fell onto Iwaizumi's still sleeping form.
He looked relaxed, Tooru thought. His dark hair was a tousled mess, strands of it were feathered across his forehead.
It made him look a little younger.

Oikawa smiled sleepily and inched forward so he could curl back into his best friend's chest again.
One of Hajime's strong arms wrapped around his back on instinct and Oikawa could have purred with contentedness.

He was really glad that Hajime had come over last night.
Oikawa truly didn't know what he'd do without him.

He imagined what he'd be like right now if his best friend hadn't come over to take care of him.
He'd probably still be in pain and hungry and miserable.

But right now he was warm and cozy, safe.
He was still exhausted from yesterday's match but he felt like he could face today.
Maybe not with the biggest smile on his face but he could do it.
Thanks to Hajime.

Oikawa pressed a little closer to him and allowed himself to press a soft kiss against Iwaizumi's collarbone.
That bubbly feeling inside his chest didn't give him any other choice to express his feelings and he dared to press a second kiss to Iwaizumi's warm skin.

“Tooru?”

Oikawa froze and his eyes shot wide open.
His body went rigid and he could only stare at Iwaizumi's shoulder right in front of his eyes.
His throat felt horribly constricted but he forced out a small, croaky “Yes?”

He half expected Iwaizumi to blow at him and throw him out of his own bed and hell, he had every right to.
Too late Oikawa realized he had crossed a line, a fucking big line with warning signs in front of it too.
You just didn't give your best friend kisses while he supposedly slept next to you.

Before Iwaizumi could say anything else Oikawa buried his face in his hands to hide the furious blush burning across his cheeks.
“I'm sorry! I don't know why I did that...”

A long moment passed and then Iwaizumi chuckled, fucking chuckled at him and Oikawa couldn't even resist when Hajime pulled his hands away from his face so they could look at each other.
His best friend looked downright amused and there was a soft glint in his eyes.

Oikawa didn't understand the world anymore.

“You... you're not mad?”

Iwaizumi grinned sleepily and carefully shifted so was eye to eye with his best friend.
His hands still held onto Oikawa's between them.

“Of course not”, he said but the reassuring words did little to calm Oikawa's thundering heart.

Iwaizumi's grin shifted to a softer smile then and Oikawa's breath hitched when Hajime inched closer.

“I just always thought our first kiss would go something like this...”

Oikawa made a small sound of surprise that was muffled against Iwaizumi's soft lips a second later.
He blinked once and tried to understand that Hajime was kissing him, kissing him!

His body didn't catch up fast enough and when he felt Hajime pulling away because he failed to reciprocate the kiss his hands darted forward to keep Hajime's head in place.
Then his lips finally moved and they kissed for real.

Oikawa closed his eyes and he sighed softly, his fingers tangling in the soft strands of Iwaizumi's hair.
Hajime smiled against Tooru's lips for a brief second and snaked his arms around Oikawa's waist to pull him closer.

Oikawa relaxed into his hold and deepened the kiss after a while.
He did it slowly, carefully as if he was scared that this moment could be taken away from him if he rushed it.
Iwaizumi knew that and gave Oikawa all the time in the world.

Their kisses were slow and sweet and so full of emotion it nearly made tears sting in Oikawa's eyes again.
Hajime gently brushed his thumbs across Tooru's sides and desperately wished this moment would never end.

But when it did Tooru stayed close and smiled.
His eyes were still closed but the tip of his nose nudged against Iwaizumi's cutely and he pressed one last lingering kiss to his best friend's swollen lips.

“Yeah, I imagined it like that too...”

He opened his eyes and there was a happy glow in them that made Iwaizumi squeeze his arms around Tooru a little tighter.
Oikawa wriggled closer (if that was even possible by this point) and tucked his head under Hajime's chin with a satisfied little hum.
He had never noticed just how perfectly he fit there.

Hajime huffed a laugh at Oikawa's clinginess and rested his cheek against the crown of Tooru's head.

“Took us long enough”, he mumbled.

Oikawa smiled against his chest, his shoulders shaking with silent laughter.

“Yeah, that's true... but I gotta say, you're a good kisser.”

“Thank you, you're not bad yourself.”

Oikawa glanced up and Iwaizumi craned his neck down in time to see Tooru pout up at him with a “'Not bad?'” and he laughed.

“I'm not gonna say you're the best”, he teased. “Maybe you will be, someday. With a little more practice.”

Tooru's eyes lit up with excitement and for a second he looked like a little energetic kid that's been promised candy.

“Then give me one more!”, he demanded.

Now, Iwaizumi had heard that sentence a million times before but he never thought he'd hear it in this context.
It made him burst into laughter and Tooru pouted at him again.

Before he could ask what's been so funny Iwaizumi gently pushed him onto his back and climbed over him.

The blush returned to Oikawa's cheeks but this time he didn't try to hide it.

Hajime smiled down at him with mischief glinting in his dark eyes.

“Are you ready? Here we go.”