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“Building’s empty,” James reported as he came into Q’s office. “Entrances are locked and secured. Mallory’s readying his office and Tanner and Rani are setting out the turnips.”
Alec nodded and tossed him a knife. “Still have a half a dozen to do.” He gestured to the small pile of root vegetables on Q’s desk and went back to carving the one in his hand.
Q looked up from his laptop with a strained smile. “Almost ready here, about to push the message to every video screen in MI6 and lock all input from almost every device.”
James smiled at him. “It’s your first All Hallows’ Eve as quartermaster. I know it’s strange, but you’ll do fine.”
“I just...don’t...didn’t...believe in ghosts.”
Alec snorted. “As if our business isn’t populated with the most stubborn people in existence? Of course we’ll return if there’s unfinished business.”
They worked in contented silence until Rani poked her head in just before midnight. “Will you gentlemen set out the last of those jack o’ lanterns? Q and I need to get to the lab.”
James waved at her and scooped up the finished turnips.
“But there are no candles in them,” he heard Q say as he and Alec walked out.
“Poor Q,” Alec murmured as they set a hollowed and carved-out jack o’ lantern at each hallway crossing. “He’s not going to be a happy lad shortly.”
Bond smiled. “He’ll be just fine as soon as they start trying to mess with his prototypes.”
They made it back to the lab just as every jack o’ lantern rose eerily into the air and hovered at shoulder level, an electric blue glow spilling from the carved faces. At the same time, Q’s colorful language echoed down the hallway, and then every computer monitor and wall display lit up with a carefully worded message.
31 October 2020
You are dead.
Please consider resting in peace.
James burst out laughing. “I don’t think that would work on me. Should we suggest some changes?”
Alec grinned. “Nah. Leave it. Q can decide for himself what will work better next year.”
“Put that down, agent!”
James’ face went still for a moment. “Oh. I hadn’t given much thought to...”
“No,” Alec agreed, then grinned and sprinted down the rest of the hallway. “Boothroyd, old boy! They keep refusing to give us exploding pens!” James laughed and followed him.
The ghostly form of the old quartermaster turned to give them a glare from under his shaggy eyebrows that might arguably have been called affectionate. “I should think so. What century do you think this is, 006? Ahh, 007. Perhaps you could provide your young quartermaster here with a fortifying cup of tea? He seems a little shaken, poor lad.”
“Probably thinks you’re here to give him a performance review,” Rani smirked. “Good to see you again, major, but perhaps you could dissuade the spirits of 003 and 008 here from playing with the canisters of toxic gases? I’ve already been informed that I have no authority over them.”
“Whaaaaat?” Boothroyd roared and glided in that direction. “Listen to me, you unchivalrous...”
Alec came over. “You with us, Q?”
Q blinked at him. “Ghosts.”
“We did say,” Alec nodded.
“But... Robertson! You put that down right this instant!” Q stormed past them towards a workbench and James chuckled.
“I think the research labs are safe,” he murmured to Alec. “Should we check on Mallory and Tanner?”
“I’m not going to argue with you, Gareth; you won’t listen anyway even though you know I’m right.”
“Olivia, I cannot express to you how grateful I am for your opinion...”
She snorted. “What have I always said about straight talk?”
“Fine,” Mallory said with a smile as James and Alec peered cautiously through his office door. “You’re being a bitch, and you know damn well that option will never fly with Downing Street.” His eyes focused on them through the semi-transparent shape of the former M, and he smirked as she turned.
“Fuck,” Alec muttered.
“Yes, Trevelyan, that always was one of your biggest distractions, wasn’t it?”
His chin went up. “Yet which of us is standing here in the flesh?”
Mansfield’s mouth quirked. “I will give you that one. Just this once.” Her gaze went past them as they felt chill breezes stir behind them. “Ah, gentlemen, do come in. Updates on current events have apparently been prepared for us.”
“Thank you so much for coming,” Mallory said, standing. “There is a great deal to convey and we should begin. Agents...” he said, frowning at James and Alec.
They waved at him and made their way out of executive territory, standing aside for Tanner as he escorted a dozen ghosts past. “Yes, gentlemen, the floor plans have undergone some major revisions but I will be more than happy to guide you to the current M’s office.”
The ghosts meandered away as dawn approached and eventually all of the skeleton crew gathered near the front entrance.
“The pub,” Tanner said wearily.
“The pub,” James echoed, nodding.
Oliver, the publican of the Wolf and Bullpup, met them at the door, holding it open for them and locking it after them. “Our old friends have all just left,” he explained as he set out a tray of glasses and poured out an amber liquor.
Q blinked. “They were here, too?”
Oliver smiled. “Second home for many. I stand the same vigil every year.” He tapped a withered-looking jack o’ lantern on the bar that still held the faintest blue glow from inside. Even as they watched, it faded and the turnip crumbled to a feathery ash. “All done and quiet rest to them as can.” He raised his glass. “Happy Hallowmas, all.”
James took a cautious sip, knowing Oliver would be serving them something unusual on this dawn.
“This tastes like flowers!” Rani said with delight.
Oliver beamed at her. “Flowers for the dead. Best way, since many lie unmarked.”
Mallory smiled at the bottle with amused resignation. “Songbird Flora. It’s delicious and I suppose I’ll have to order a few bottles. You won’t convince me you don’t make some kind of commission on these unusual drinks, Oliver.”
Oliver winked and raised his glass. “To absent friends.”
“Except that they aren’t staying absent,” Q said tartly.
Rani laughed. “Poor Q, Boothroyd told him his new designs were ‘a wee mite too minimalist’ and lectured him all night about adjusting them.”
Q glared into his glass as they all chuckled and returned Oliver’s toast.
When they wandered out into the bright crisp morning, Q stretched and sighed. “Well, that wasn’t so bad. Glad it’s only once a year, though.”
Tanner burst out laughing. “No one’s told you about Christmas?”
“Wait, what about Christmas?”