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“They’re calling you an Emperor in the News.” Buggy’s voice was somewhere between incredulous-shouty and incredulous-screechy, and Shanks had to lean back from the poor transponder snail. It was Buggy’s snail specifically, so the poor thing was always shouting – unless Shanks was talking to one of Buggy’s crew and not the clown himself.
“Aw, c’mon Buggy, it’s not that bad,” Shanks tried. This particular bi-weekly call was going well. Buggy hadn’t even had to threaten to make Benn throw Shanks overboard.
“Not that – Not that bad? Shanks, what the fuck do you mean?! They’re comparing you to the old man, the crazy woman, and the monster!” The snail had reached the pitch that only Buggy could inspire, and Shanks smiled brightly at it, knowing that the snail in East Blue was smiling just as brightly.
“But Buggy! You didn’t even ask what I did!” Shanks said, cutting Buggy off mid-tirade.
The snail frowned seriously.
“Did I ask?” Buggy said, almost to himself. “Wait, seas, I didn’t – Shanks, what the fucking seas did you do.”
“I fucked up Jack the Drought!”
There was a long moment of silence. Shanks thought he might have made Buggy drop the receiver on his end, the silence lasted that long.
“Shanks,” he started very seriously, “why.”
“He insulted my crew and tried to throw a perfectly good barrel of that wine Mihawk likes on Benn.”
“Remind me to meet Mihawk at Baratie,” Buggy muttered.
Shanks gasped dramatically. “Meeting with my rival behind my back! How dare you!”
“He’s a giant gossip and hates his coworkers.”
“Ahhhh, the whole Warlord thing.” Shanks nodded sagely. If he’d had a second arm, he would have waved his hand in a gesture that would encompass the fact that his friend – rival? Drinking buddy? Mihawk, his Mihawk – worked for the government.
“Crocodile can be a huge bitch, you remember that?” Buggy said.
“Of course I do – ooohoho! Buggy! We should bother him!” The snail in front of Shanks just grinned broadly.
“We should! Bother him for me. Throw a bucket of water at him or something.” Buggy was laughing as he spoke and the sound broadened the smile on Shanks’ face. A crashing noise came from Buggy’s end of the snail connection and the snail grimaced.
“Everything okay?” Shanks asked warily.
“It’s too quiet on the Top now.” Buggy sighed. “I’ll have to call you back later.”
“Go make sure your kids didn’t break anything,” Shanks snickered.
“Not my kids!”
“They are a little bit.”
“Don’t be rude!”
Shanks full out laughed at Buggy, who only sighed. “Good winds,” Buggy said, when Shanks finished snickering.
“Tight sails,” Shanks replied. The snail clicked off with a sound, and Shanks set the receiver back on his own snail with a smile.