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Jimin loved sleeping.
It fascinated him, the idea of lying in bed and closing his eyes after a tiring day, his sheets softly embracing his body and warmth tucking him. It was his favourite thing in the world, closing his eyes and travelling to thousands of worlds hidden in the clouds waiting for his arrival.
Jungkook always laughed at him, saying that in his next life, the older should be a koala. It was not a bad idea in Jimin’s mind — koalas slept around 22 hours per day!
Actually, it wasn’t that Jimin was always sleeping. In fact, he was always busy with university and a part-time job. And Jungkook knew it, slowly caressing his hair whenever the older fell asleep in his lap while watching a movie. He knew his hyung was always overworking himself finding in sleep his unique comfort thorough the day.
Jimin and Jungkook had been friends since high school back in Busan. There was something about Jungkook’s shyness and Jimin’s boldness that complemented each other, as weird as it could look from outside. Nobody really understood how the two boys, apparently so different, could be so close. But they fit in each other’s life like a puzzle, naturally, as if it was meant to be like that.
When they both finished high school, neither of them could imagine a future where they were far from each other. Just like that, they moved to a cheap apartment in Seoul with two bedrooms and open-concept kitchen.
It may sound lovely, but it had never been easy.
Jimin had a tough time deciding which major he should take —his options changing from one extreme to another, splitting his heart in two at the thought of choosing. Finally, his heart and mind decided to pursue his dream of being a pharmacist, the hope of a better world reassuring him whenever he was about to give up.
On the other hand, Jungkook had always known his fate. Since he was little, always playing with his father’s camera, the boy knew he was meant to capture life through a lens. And even if their parents weren’t too enthusiastic about it at first, they finally accepted their son’s dream after seeing his determination.
So there they were, both of them pursuing his dream with one hand while holding their best friend’s with the other. They had different lives and different mindsets, but at the end of the day, they both ran to each other’s arms as if home were hidden in it. And maybe it was, at least for the two of them.
Everything seemed better if, after all the hardships, they could find one another.
Today was just like another day, Jimin and Jungkook watching some random movie on their sofa. They were talking about their days but, somehow, Jimin ended up on Jungkook’s lap, the younger brushing the older’s hair, his fingers softly tangled with some grey locks.
Jimin was softly falling asleep. How wouldn’t he? The feeling of Jungkook’s hand in his hair was driving him in a sense of inner peace. His muscles were completely relaxed, and his mind was already somewhere lost in the clouds. He could feel his breathing becoming deeper and it was matter of minutes that he completely gave up to his tiredness, fully content with the fact of sleeping in his best friend’s lap.
Maybe that’s why he thought he was already dreaming when he heard Jungkook’s low voice.
“Hyung,” he whispered, his fingers never stopping their pace along his hair, “I hope you know I love you.”
Jimin gulped, trying to control his breath as if he were still sleepy, but his eyes were fully opened and his heart was beating hard against his chest, resonating into his ears.
As much as Jimin loved sleeping, there was no way he was able to do it after hearing that.
Jungkook kept talking, completely unaware of Jimin’s state, tucking the older’s hair behind his ear, almost as if the grey-haired boy were some sort of work of art that must be taken care of cautiously.
“I hope you know that I’m proud of you,” he mumbled, “you work every day so much and still find time to spend it with me. I am really thankful for that.”
Jimin tried hard not to smile, his whole body screaming in excitement for Jungkook’s words.
“I,” he continued, doubtful, “I remember when people said back in Busan that we were completely opposite. They were so wrong in my eyes. I knew since the very first moment when you entered the library dropping a huge book and causing a mess that you were perfect to me.”
Warmth spread through Jimin’s body at the memory of their first encounter. About how Jungkook ran to him laughing and Jimin, awkwardly, let him help him. Funny how after that incident their roles changed, Jungkook always being the shy one and Jimin trying to take him out of his shell gradually.
“I just wished I was brave enough to tell you these things when you weren’t sleeping,” the younger caressed Jimin’s arm, sending a shiver through his spine. “If I were just a little bit better at expressing how I feel maybe you’d like me in the same way as I do.”
The older held his breath, trying to take in what Jungkook had just said. Was he implying what Jimin was thinking? Maybe he was…?
His thoughts were interrupted by Jungkook’s scared voice.
“Jimin?” he stuttered, terrified, “are you awake?”
The grey-haired boy immediately closed his eyes, finally breathing again, hoping his best friend didn’t realize about it.
Jungkook sighed and got up, holding Jimin’s head with both of his hands and softly placing him back again in a cushion.
“This is stupid,” he whispered, placing a tender kiss on the older’s forehead. “How would I be enough for you?” The younger said faintly while incorporating.
Jimin panicked, angry at his best friend. How could he not realize about his feelings before?
Just when Jungkook was about to leave, Jimin reached his hand, holding it.
“Don’t stop,” he almost begged, his eyes avoiding the younger’s. “Finish what you were saying. Please.”
Jungkook’s body froze at the sound of Jimin’s voice.
Was this real? Has he fallen asleep on the sofa too and this was all his mind’s product?
It must be a nightmare, Jungkook thought. Panic appeared in the pit of his stomach; ready to spread itself along his entire body. If Jimin had heard each of his words, this was just the beginning of the end of their friendship. And Jungkook was not sure he was already prepared to lose his best friend for not being able to shut his stupid mouth.
Jimin, on the other side, was far from being scared. He was ecstatic, the hope of maybe, just maybe, his best friend would feel the same way he had felt during these years, was enough to make him feel like a little kid on Christmas.
Because, even if Jungkook were the person Jimin trusted the most, there was one secret he had never felt ready to confess to him.
That Jimin’s heart belonged to him in every way the word love meant.
That Jimin’s dream was beautiful since he could love Jungkook the way he wanted to do in real life.
When people fall in love, they expect a big realization, almost like an epiphany hitting through your body and changing your perception of your new lover.
For Jimin, falling in love with Jungkook was totally the opposite.
It was familiar, like walking back home, as if his feet knew the way to the younger no matter what. Jimin knew it -that if people are destined to someone, he was destined to love Jungkook in each of his lives.
But loving someone didn’t mean be loved back.
Jimin had always been competitive, in life, work and love. He wanted to succeed, to pursue every single thing he had set his mind off. But with Jungkook, with him everything was so different.
Being in love with Jungkook was calmness. More than a race, it was the reassuring feeling once it’s done. Jungkook was his home, his safe place, where Jimin could just immerse and rest.
So, no matter how hungry for success Jimin was, he never tried to pursue Jungkook’s love, not even once. Having him by his side, no matter the way, it was already enough for him. And along the years that had passed since the two of them found each other, Jimin walked holding his hand accepting the fact that he was destined to love the younger, not to be loved back.
But Jungkook’s words were an interesting and unexpecting turn of plot in the older’s heart.
“Finish what you were just saying, Jungkook;” Jimin’s almost begged, gripping his own sleeves tightly, the fear of a misunderstanding creeping in his stomach and freezing his blood.
The younger gulped, his eyes wandering around the place, searching for a way out of the situation. How was he supposed to finish his sentence of death? How would he repeat the words that would condemn him to part ways with the most beautiful part of his life?
Jungkook knew it — that a one-sided love was meant to break. That even if Jimin would tell him that they could be okay, they would not. Those things could only happen in the movies. In real life, a friendship with an unrequited love involved would only turn in pain for both parts.
Still, the younger looked at Jimin. The older’s sleepy eyes stared back at him, tinted with numerous lights, with glimpses of hope that reached to Jungkook.
Maybe, just maybe…
Jungkook took a deep breath, sending the air to his lungs and his uncontrollable heartbeat. He walked in Jimin’s direction until he was again in front of the grey-haired boy. Then, the younger kneeled, his eyes fixed in the other’s curious and bright gaze.
If this was going to be the end, he may then completely sink in.
“Love can be expressed in a hundred incredible ways. And I’ve always been told that you should meet a hundred people to experience each one of them;” Jungkook said, the lump of his throat easing due to Jimin’s soft stare. “But I only needed to find you to feel love in all of his meanings.”
Jimin’s heart crashed against his ribcage, threatening to escape from his body. The older opened his mouth, making the younger panic, his shaking hands holding Jimin’s arm.
“Let me finish,” he whispered. “Please.”
Jimin nodded, butterflies dancing around his stomach at the sound of a love song.
“You were my first and truest friend. That was the first love you taught me, through an innocent and pure friendship” Jungkook continued, never breaking his touch. “When my ex dumped me, you went to my house with chocolate and ice cream; even if we had met just a couple of months before and you knew barely anything about him. You kept screaming that he was an asshole and even offered yourself to punch him,” the younger laughed at the memories. Jimin smiled, his mind going back to the time where Jungkook called him crying. He could even remember his red nose and little sniffs, holding a plushie that once belonged to his ex-boyfriend.
“That was the way you showed me love could also be a tender hug or a soft encouragement,” Jungkook spoke after a little pause. “On your 17th birthday, when you came and confessed your struggles to me about your future career; crying in my shoulder, I understood that love was also about trust.”
Jimin nodded, his hands finding the younger’s one. He incorporated, sitting in front of Jungkook, never breaking the gaze.
Never looking away.
“I could say a hundred moments in our entire friendship where you showed me a different type of love. And, as time had passed, I learned that maybe love didn’t have so many meanings. Maybe you were the definition of love itself,” Jungkook finished, the sparkles in his eyes sending to Jimin a chill that ran down his spine. The older could not even think of a moment where he’d have loved the younger so much.
“Jungkook, I-”
“I shouldn’t have told you this. I’m so sorry, Jimin,” the younger interrupted him. “I’m sorry for putting you in this situation, for being so selfish of saying this to make me free, knowing that in reality, I’m only trapping you. I would understand if you decide to leave our-”
Jungkook’s panicked words were caught by a pair of soft lips.
Jimin pulled the younger close placing one of his hands his neck. The kiss was soft and desperate as if the older were trying to express how it feels. How much wrong Jungkook was about caging him. Instead, his words were only liberating him.
The fact that Jungkook could be his was making his whole being beam in excitement and happiness. How could be discovering that he was loved back a torment to him?
So, he kissed Jungkook with the passion and ferocity he suppressed along these years. He kissed him with the fear, the pain and the sadness that once invaded his body. He kissed him with the happiness of being by his side, with the calm that it was loving him.
And Jungkook, in his cloud of confusion, reciprocated the kiss. The younger placed his free hand —the other one was still intertwined— on Jimin’s wait, carefully caressing the zone with his thumb. He kissed him back, with each of the meanings that once the grey-haired showed him.
Once they separated in need of air, Jimin was the one who broke the silence.
“You’re so stupid, Kook,” he laughed. “How couldn’t you realize that I am head over heels for you?”
And even if acts should prove more than words, it was in that moment where the younger realized that maybe his confession was not the end of the best friendship in his life.
Maybe it was the beginning of something even more beautiful.
“Are you implying what I think you’re implying?” Jungkook asked quietly, lessen the space between them again. “Are you in love with me?”
“Been years, but thanks for noticing now,” Jimin joked, his laugh being caught by Jungkook’s eager lips on his.
This time the kiss was calmer, safer. As, instead of a messy declaration of love, it was the beginning of a story. The story of a thousand of stolen kisses, A.M promises and love. A lot of love that was already blooming in their chests, melting into one another.
Ever since that moment, Jimin never wanted to sleep so much anymore.
He had everything he wanted waiting for him in his awake.