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Dipper squinted down at the papers scattered about his desk, his eyes straining to find something, anything amongst them. "There has to be a connection." He muttered bending further over the wood, brown eyes glaring at the apparently offensive pieces of paper. His hands clenched atop the tabletop in sheer frustration and after a moment he sighed and thunked his forehead against the table. "This is getting me nowhere." The brunette grumbled.
He yelped as a heavy weight dropped across his back, forcing his upper body to collide with the table. Arms crossed over his shoulder's and a blonde head popped into his field of vision, propped up on Dipper's left shoulder. "Hey Pine Tree," Bill chirped, "you trying to set the table on fire? Because you're not doing it right, you need more oomph!" He wiggled the fingers of the hand most visible to Dipper in emphasis.
"Bill." Dipper stated calmly. "Get off of me"
The demon scoffed. "Whaaat? But you're so comfy kid!" He insisted and as if to prove his point he nuzzled his nose against Dipper's cheek, earning a squeak from the startled teen.
"Bill!" He shrieked, hands coming up to try and push the shapeshifter off of his back. He flushed in embarrassment as the demon caught his hands and pinned them against the table. "Get off! You're crushing me!"
"Don't be so dramatic Pine Tree." The demon hummed kissing the shell of his ear. "You're fine. It would take a lot more weight then this to crush you. I mean I 'could' crush you but that would be boring."
"Oh my freaking," Dipper grunted, kicking Bill in the shin pointedly. "That's not the point, you're heavy get off."
Snickering, the demon dropped his chin on top of Dipper's head, upsetting the boy's hat and sending the bill of it into his eyes. "Naaah. You really are pretty comfortable," he faked a yawn and dropped more of his weight on top of the struggling teenager. "I think I might take a nap."
"Bill you don't sleep!" Dipper snapped kicking him harder. The demon snored loudly and Dipper let out an annoyed grunt. "Bill!"
"Night Pine Tree." The demon cooed mockingly. "Hope you weren't doing anything important."
"I swear I am going to eviscerate you." Dipper hissed stomping on the demon's foot. Bill snickered, sliding his leg around Dipper's and trapping it tight between his own.
"Oooh, nice threat kid." He purred sounding genuinely pleased. "Seems a little dark for you though. Did you get that one from me?"
"Bill." The human growled kicking him with his free foot. "Get," kick, "off."
"And if I don't?" Bill mocked nuzzling the back of Dipper's neck. Dipper yelped in surprise, jolting under him. The dream demon snickered. "What are you gonna do Pine Tree, kick me some more?"
Before Dipper could release another scathing retort the door to the attic banged open and released an unaware Mabel into the room. "Dipper," she called, "it's time for-" The female twin cut herself off as she caught sight of the situation. She raised an eyebrow as Bill inclined his head toward's her with a grin.
"Hey Shooting Star," he greeted, "did you need something?"
"Mabel get him off!" Dipper said at the same time.
A grin slowly curved her lips upwards. "Are you, molesting my brother?"
"What?!" Dipper screeched as Bill paused for a second to think about it. Molest, definition: to pester or harass in an agressive fashion. Well, this definitely qualified as pestering and harassing.
"Yes." Bill decided. "Yes I am."
"What?!" Dipper shouted again, his voice cracking halfway through the word. Mabel however just nodded, still grinning.
"Yeah okay, I'll just leave the love birds alone then." She winked and shot finger guns at them as she turned and flounced out of the room. "You two crazy kids have fun!" And with that the door slammed shut behind her.
In her wake, silence echoed for several agonizing seconds. "Why," Dipper choked out, voice sounding strained, "why would you tell her that?"
Bill raised an eyebrow at him. "Because it was the truth? Geez kid, did you want me to lie, to your sister?" He actually sounded proud of the thought. "Wow I really am a bad influence on you aren't I?"
"Wha- how is this," Dipper paused to delver another sharp kick to Bill's shin, "molesting me?! You're just being a dick!"
"Yep." Bill agreed cheerfully. "Don't you even understand your native language kid? This is pretty much the definition of molestation."
Dipper paused in his kicking, face screwing up in confusion. "Come again?"
Rolling his eyes Bill sighed dramatically. "You meat puppets are all so dim." He mourned ignoring Dipper's annoyed growl. His hands tightened around Dipper's wrists and his lips brushed along the brunette's ear again. "Molestation," he explained, voice lower then usual, "is the act of aggressively pestering, and or harassing someone. Often very, very, persistently."
Dipper gulped, face a brilliant crimson as he squeaked out a weak, "oh."
Bill snickered. "Dirty dirty Pine Tree," he purred. "What exactly did you think I meant?"
Impossibly, Dipper's face actually reddened. Flush spreading across his ears and down his neck. "I-"
"You know," the demon considered, "if you're really that," a laugh, "keen kid." He nipped at a spot just below Dipper's ear enjoying the small sound that left the brunette. "I could molest you in the way your silly meat bag mind is thinking." Dipper's eyes shot wide and he bit the inside of his lips but didn't protest. Raising an eyebrow Bill's grin widened into a pleased smirk. "I'll take that as a yes."