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It was early evening. Clover's quarters were quiet, the tumult of the day left behind, replaced by the soft sounds of gentle breathing. The late summer sun was fading to deep gold, the shadows from the window slowly lengthening across the bed.
"I'm not sure I can do this."
Qrow's voice was muffled against Clover's chest. They were lying on the bed, the work day over, both men weary. Enjoying the closeness of each other, trying not to fall asleep.
"Seems like you're doing it already." Clover smiled, kissing the top of Qrow's head. The untidy dark hair tickled his nose, and Clover sneezed violently. "Sorry, Qrow! Didn't mean for that to happen." He snuggled back down comfortably, wondering if it was wise to doze off this early in the evening.
"Hmm." Qrow's thoughtful murmur caused Clover to raise an eyebrow.
"What's on your mind?"
"It's just... I didn't mean for this to happen." Qrow's voice was low, reverberating into Clover's chest as the younger man frowned.
"You generally like cuddling, though? I thought—"
"I mean, this, as a general thing. Being with you. Being your boyfriend. Partners. Whatever."
Clover's hold on Qrow slackened as he moved back a little, looking into the other's face. "Qrow, are you trying to dump me?" His tone was light, but there was a heavy weight against his heart.
"What? No, you lummox." Qrow pressed a kiss against Clover's chest. "I like you— a lot. But... I'm worried, Cloves. Worried about what happens next, if we get serious, you know?"
"Not sure about you, but I'm already pretty serious." Clover slid a finger under Qrow's chin, tilting it so he could look into his face. "Is it because we haven't slept together yet? Is that what's worrying you, for some reason?"
"No, no. There's nothing I want more, when we're ready for it. It's only—" Qrow broke off with a sigh. "What if it all goes wrong? What if we find we're not suited in some way, we have a big disagreement, we decide it's not working and we split up?" Qrow's voice trembled as he lapsed into silence.
"So... it's not the commitment that worries you? More like the possibility things might not work out?"
"Yeah, that's it." Qrow huffed out a long breath. "Am I being daft?"
Clover paused before answering. "No, you're not. Let me tell you something." He moved closer to Qrow again, drawing the older man against his body and dropping another kiss onto his hair.
"It was when I was at school— I was about fourteen, I think. There were auditions for the end of year play, and at that time I was really keen on drama, so I put my name down. And as soon as I'd done it, I started worrying. I'd mess it up, I'd look stupid, I wouldn't get a part... I'd fail. I almost scratched my name off the list."
"Almost?"
"Yeah, but I didn't. I mentioned it to my mum, and she convinced me to go ahead with the audition. The way she put it, even if I didn't get a part, I'd be no worse off than before. Even if I fluffed my lines, no-one else would be that concerned... only me. So even the worst outcome wouldn't be that bad."
"So, what happened?"
"I did the audition. I did forget my lines once, but I managed to finish... and I got a part! Not the lead, but a decent supporting role. And if I'd backed out, that wouldn't have happened."
Qrow was quiet for a few moments. "So, what you're saying is, if you don't follow a course of action because of what might go wrong, you miss the chance of it being okay in the end?"
"Exactly. And it's true... when you think about doing something, it's easy to focus on all the ways it can go wrong. And usually, they're less important than the possibility it might go right."
"Hmm. Unless one of ways things could go south, is you... have a catastrophic accident, or whatever."
"Uh, yeah, I guess. But I don't think us dating, or getting more serious, is gonna result in that, do you?"
"No." Qrow laughed. "At least, I hope not. Though knowing my luck—"
"Uh-uh, we don't say things like that, remember?" Clover poked Qrow gently in the ribs.
"If you insist." Qrow pulled himself a little further up the bed, one leg slotting comfortably between Clover's. "You know, that was a helpful story you just told. Was it true?"
Clover's eyes widened. "Of course! I wouldn't lie, you know."
"I wasn't calling it a lie. Just thought you might have a supply of inspirational stories, ready to pull out at the appropriate moment."
"Hmph. How devious do you think I am, exactly?"
"D'you want the truthful answer?" Qrow smirked as he kissed Clover gently, his tongue brushing the warm lips beneath his.
"On second thoughts, don't bother." Clover's lips tingled, the contact with Qrow's mouth so slight, yet so exhilarating. He resisted the urge to press closer, allowing his senses to be submerged in the heady sensation.
Qrow's hand trailed slowly from Clover's cheek, around the angle of his jaw, and down his neck. The slender fingers traced the line of his collarbone, moving across his chest with more urgency. The exertions of the day were left behind as Clover pulled Qrow against him, the simmering heat between them threatening to spill over and carry them to a place they hadn't yet explored.
Qrow pulled back, his unsteady breath hot against Clover's skin. "Cloves, is this the point where we rip our clothes off and shag each other senseless?" He grinned, but his eyes were dark.
Clover drew in a shuddering breath. "We could... and I want to, eventually, but... can we— hold off for a while longer?" His already flushed cheeks reddened further, as he looked away from Qrow. "I'm enjoying this... anticipation... whatever you want to call it. Enjoying the wait. If that's not too weird."
Qrow collapsed onto his chest. "You're a monster, but you're not weird... I'm enjoying it, too. Although..." he peered up at Clover's face, "let's not anticipate for weeks and weeks, huh?"
Clover's hand threaded through Qrow's hair. "Thank you, Qrow. I don't deserve you."
Qrow pushed himself up onto his elbows, looking down at the younger man with a smirk, his eyes glinting in the fading light. "Oh, you do, Cloves. When it finally happens, you'll deserve everything you get."
Clover stared at him for a moment, before Qrow's expression relaxed as he chuckled loudly. "And I'm so looking forward to it."
Clover smiled broadly. "Me too."