Chapter Text
Callum anxiously paced his room in the castle as evening light glowed golden through the open balcony doorway.
Three days ago, Rayla had left in the night. He’d woken – on his birthday, no less – to find her gone, leaving only a letter. After she’d promised they would go together. He’d been determined to follow her – he knew he could catch her if he flew. But Ez had convinced him to not leave him alone at the nexus. Ez had asked (begged) Callum to come back with him to Katolis first.
Callum couldn’t abandon Ez by himself, so far from home. But now they were finally back and he needed to do something… anything.
Rayla had been out there – alone – for three days!
He was worried sick about her… and he was angry and disappointed with her. She had promised. He knew she wanted to protect him… but she wouldn’t let him protect her.
If… no… when he saw her again, he was going to give her a piece of his mind… right after he hugged her and kissed her and cried in relief that she wasn’t dead.
Love was way harder and more confusing than he’d ever imagined.
A knock on the door interrupted his pacing. “Enter,” he said after pausing to collect himself.
The door swung open to reveal Ez with Opeli behind him, both looking concerned.
“How are you doing?” Ez asked cautiously, stepping into the room. Opeli remained in the hall.
“Ez, I need to go find her,” Callum replied, resuming his nervous pacing.
Ez walked over to Callum, stopping him with a hand on Callum’s shoulder. “Callum, I’m worried about Rayla, but I don’t want to lose you too.”
“But she needs help,” Callum pleaded, waving his arms. “I can’t just do nothing!”
“I agree,” Ez said seriously. “That’s why I’ve been talking with Opeli.”
How is Opeli going to find Rayla? Callum thought.
“Prince Callum,” Opeli said as if on cue, gliding into the room. “King Ezran explained to me that Rayla did not see a dead Claudia or Viren at the Moon Nexus, leading her to believe they are still alive and a threat to us all. Is this a correct assessment?”
Why were they wasting time talking about this? “Yes, that’s why she said she left – to find Viren and ensure he won’t hurt anyone else,” Callum said. “That’s why I need to go help her,” Callum said, raising his voice. “She can’t fight them by herself.” Why did no one else see this?
“I completely agree with you,” Opeli said calmly.
That was unexpected.
“You do?” he asked incredulously, eyes widened in surprise.
“But I don’t think you should run off after her to help,” she said.
“Wait… what?” She seemed to both agree and disagree with him at the same time. “Why not?”
Opeli seemed to have expected this question. “You say her plan to run off to fight two dark mages by herself is foolish and dangerous,” Opeli said, standing formally with hands clasped in front of her. “You’re worried she’ll be injured or die, and no one would know. If she never returns, you’ll be left wondering forever what happened to her. Is this a reasonable summary of the situation?”
“Yes. I need to know if she’s alright,” he said. Opeli seemed to understand. Maybe she’d let him go find Rayla.
“But,” Opeli said, pausing for effect. “You are willing to run off to find her so just you and Rayla, by yourselves, can fight two dark mages. Two dark mages who almost defeated whole armies. And dragons. Leaving King Ezran and I behind to worry that you’ll die, always wondering what happened to you. Is this a correct assessment of your plan?”
Well… when Opeli put it that way - especially saying out loud - it didn’t sound like the most well thought out plan.
Callum looked from Opeli to Ez, who’s eyes were starting to drip tears towards the turned-down corners of his mouth. Callum hadn’t considered how running after Rayla would hurt Ez. He’d hated it when he’d left Ez alone to rule when they were taking Zym back to Xadia. He’d always told himself he needed to do it for the greater good. But now he was just being selfish. How could he abandon his brother, who had always been there for him, to chase after his girlfriend who had lied to his face and run away on a suicide mission.
“You’re right, my plan is stupid.” he sighed staring dejectedly at the floor. “I just wanted to help her.”
“Oh, we’re going to help her,” Opeli said reassuringly. “Together.”
“We are?” Callum looked up hopefully to see a sly smile forming on Opeli’s face.
“Yes, your highness,” Opeli said. “Since the battle at the Spire, I’ve been concerned that Claudia and her Sunfire staff are still unaccounted for. Before we left the Storm Spire, I talked with Janai and Ibis about recruiting a team of elves to join the humans to search for her before she could harm anyone else. Janai agrees there are plenty of Sunfire elves who would also like to avoid a repeat of what happened to their city. Ibis agrees the Skywing elves will aid us.” Opeli leaned toward him. “And I think we could find some Moonshadow assassins who’d love to avenge the deaths of their team.”
“And you did all this without telling anyone?” Callum asked.
Opeli looked a bit offended. “Of course not,” she said. “I didn’t want to bother you since you’d had a harrowing few weeks and you had more pressing concerns requiring your attention.”
“She means kissing Rayla,” Ez interjected, smiling.
“There was other stuff too,” Callum replied indignantly. There must have been… he just couldn’t think of what it was.
Opeli rolled her eyes. “But to answer your question, I obtained King Ezran’s permission before I proceeded.”
Ez nodded enthusiastically in agreement. “I said ‘please find Claudia’,” he said.
“So, I proceeded to implement a plan,” Opeli continued. “About the time you both left for the Moon Nexus, I convinced Queen Aanya to provide a small number of Duren soldiers to aid us in our search for Claudia. They should be here tomorrow to join our elite squad led by General Amaya, with Corvus helping with tracking.”
Callum was impressed, but he still had questions. “Are the Dragons going to allow bands of humans to wander around Xadia?” Callum asked.
“I’ve been working on that too, your highness,” Opeli said confidently. “Queen Zubeia has not only agreed to allow the humans into Xadia but a number of dragons have volunteered to aid in the search. One dragon volunteer in particular, Pyrrah, seems to have a person grudge against Claudia. When we inform them we believe Viren is still alive, even more of them might aid in the search.”
Callum now understood why Opeli was on the High Council and commander of the castle guards. He used to think she was just a pedantic bureaucrat, but she was truly skilled. And her plan was much better than his. “So, all these folks are going with me to look for Rayla?” Callum asked excitedly.
“No,” Opeli said firmly.
“But I can help!” He said, sounding more whiny than he wanted.
“Callum,” Opeli said looking at him like he was five, “we’ll have a number of sky mages with the group, all of whom are much more experienced in sky magic than yourself.”
She had a good point, but he still wanted to look for Rayla. “It sounds like a great plan, but how does it help Rayla?” Callum asked. “A big army will never find her.”
“I don’t expect them to find her,” Opeli said. Callum felt like he was playing chess against her and was about ten moves behind.
“But they should distract Viren,” she continued. “thereby making it easier for her to do whatever it is she’s planning. And if she runs into trouble, there will be friends to go to.”
“But putting together an army will take time,” Callum said, waving his arms. “She needs help now!” he said stepping towards her.
Opeli remained unperturbed by his histrionics.
“Since we believe Viren is alive,” she continued, irritatingly calm, “I’ll speed the timetable and send Corvus with General Amaya and her squad plus the group from Duren to Xadia tomorrow to begin the search. General Amaya can rendezvous with Janai in Xadia to obtain another squad of Sunfire elves. They’ll start their search at the Storm Spire where they’ll add any Skywing elves and Dragons, then work out from there following any clues. If Viren’s out there, we’ll find him.”
She walked forward and put a hand firmly on his shoulder. “We need you to stay here to help King Ezran.” Opeli paused as Callum looked away. “And to be here if Rayla decides to return. We don’t want her running off again if she comes here and finds you gone.”
He hadn’t thought of that. What if he went looking for her, but then she ended up looking for him and they never found each other? And Ez definitely needed him here.
Okay, he’d stay here, let Opeli try her plan, and wait… at least for a while. But he wouldn’t wait forever.
Callum sighed. “You’re right, as usual.” He turned to face her again. “Thank you sending troops to help her.”
Opeli didn’t seem to relax at his admission of defeat. “You can thank me by promising to not run off in the middle of the night without telling anyone. That you’ll talk to us before you do anything rash. That you’ll allow our team to help her.”
Callum didn’t answer immediately. Could he honestly say wouldn’t fly off after her? He already missed her smile… the sound of her voice teasing him. How long before he could no longer bear missing her?
“Please,” Ez said looking at him expectantly.
But he couldn’t hurt Ez… not like Rayla had hurt him.
He couldn’t stand for Ez to be as angry at him as he was at Rayla.
He’d do this. For Ez.
“I promise,” he said.
---------------------
Rayla slowly, cautiously, approached the castle in Katolis, quite visible in the nearly full moonlight.
She’d waited for the bright moon, needing its power to make her journey. Even with the moon almost full, fatigue settled on her limbs, making her slow…clumsy even.
The moon reminded her of the first time she was here. When she and the team were preparing to kill the king and the prince.
At least this time the castle wasn’t on high alert. She’d scaled these rooftops and walls many times recently. She knew how to get to the room she wanted to find out if he was still here.
Even in her feeble state, she easily entered the castle and headed up, crossing the rooftops to quickly arrive at her destination. She rested, panting from the exertion, soaking in the moonlight.
She hated how weak she’d become. Ignoring the pain, she watched the soft yellow light flicker in the balcony doorway of Callum’s room.
Good.
He was probably here.
Which meant he was safe.
Not encased in ice, like her nightmares. Nightmares that still haunted her whenever she tried to sleep.
Sleep - almost not even worth trying.
She had given up hope her parents and Runaan were still alive. She’d accepted they were gone and ‘moved on’, like Callum had asked.
But Callum wasn’t gone and every day without him was torture.
She’d convinced herself leaving him was for his own good. But that was when – like a fool – she still thought she could kill Viren.
Viren had defeated her parents. He’d defeated her when she’d tried to protect Zym – until Bait rescued her. Even then, Viren had still almost won. She’d only managed to drag him off the Spire because he was busy killing Zym.
Now that he had Claudia and the Sunfire staff, Viren was even stronger and more dangerous.
She’d never beat him.
That was now painfully apparent.
She’d been an idiot – deluding herself, thinking she could win. That she was somehow faster, stronger, sneakier than her parents. That fighting Viren at the Spire had taught her a secret something that would give her an edge. She’d never thought too hard about what that something might be… or what she’d do when she found him. She hadn’t considered who’d protect Callum if Viren killed her.
She’d just acted… acted without thinking.
Her humbling defeat at the hands of Viren and Claudia had shown just how deluded she’d been.
Resting from her injuries had given her plenty of time to think. Particularly to think about why she’d left Callum. It was painful, but after a few days, she’d finally admitted to herself – she’d left because she was a coward.
She could no longer deny it.
The worst Moonshadow elf humiliation.
Realizing this was the real reason she’d left Callum to find Viren.
Weak and pathetic, she’d taken the easy way out. She’d kill Viren or – more likely – he’d kill her. But either way, she’d no longer have to be afraid. Afraid of losing Callum… like she’d lost everyone else she loved.
If she were dead, the fear would stop.
So, she chose a suicide mission.
The easy way… the coward’s way.
She’d throw herself off the Spire with Viren to save Zym, but that was different. She wasn’t running from her fear. She was saving Zym when there was no one else. It wasn’t suicide – it was sacrifice. She was proud, even as she was falling to her death.
But this time, as she hid from Viren and Claudia, cowering, waiting for them to find her and finish the job, she wasn’t proud.
She was ashamed.
She’d sworn if she lived – unlikely as it seemed at the time – she’d never choose the coward’s path again. No matter how hard it was, she’d be brave and do the right thing.
She was an assassin, she’d reminded herself. Fear did not rule her. She should have proven that by staying with Callum and protecting him. Being brave and strong. Living with her fear and overcoming it, as an assassin should.
She wished she could go back and be with him, watch over him, stay by his side. But she’d thrown that away when she lied to him and left.
And it was all for nothing.
She’d failed to keep Viren from hurting anyone else, failed as an assassin. Again. She’d thrown away Callum’s love and stabbed him in the heart for nothing but more misery.
No, Callum would never take her back, not after what she’d done to him… not after what had happened to her.
But she could protect him from the shadows.
She’d worked it out.
She wasn’t going to act recklessly like before. No. She’d spent the journey back to Katolis planning.
It was simple. She’d recover in Katolis – Viren wouldn’t look for her here. She’d get Soren to hide her, maybe in a shed or stables, until she was better.
Then every night she’d watch over Callum. His guardian spirit – protecting him. Unseen and unappreciated. A thankless job.
Perfect penance for her sin against Callum.
And if necessary, she’d joyfully make the ultimate sacrifice for him.
No cowardice. No suicide.
Only a willingness to protect Callum, regardless the cost to herself. Like she’d done with Zym.
It’s a good plan, she thought, although doubt still haunted her.
It would only work if she could convince him not to go look for her. He needed to stay here – safe in Katolis. No running around by himself looking for her. Exposing himself to danger.
To do that, she’d tell Callum she didn’t love him anymore. Say it was fun while it lasted, but they should stop kidding themselves. She’s an elf and he’s a human. They’re too different and it wasn’t working… it could never work.
Tell him she was going back to Silvergrove. Be with Ethari and her people. Eventually convince them to deghost her. Live there happily ever after.
But could she tell him all this without tears? Without her voice failing her, refusing to utter lies which would shred her heart?
It seemed to be the only way but she loathed lying to him again. Lies had gotten her into this mess. It felt wrong to use them to get out of it.
She wished there were another other way to keep him safe, but there wasn’t.
She’d be brave and follow the plan.
She’d warn him.
Viren was alive and with Claudia and she knew where they were.
They were strong. She’d fought them and lost. He needed to be ready for them.
She’d stay hidden when she warned him. If he saw her – what had happened to her – the look on his face would destroy her. Destroy his memories of her… leaving him only with vision of what she’d become.
She wouldn’t let that happen.
Let him keep fond memories of her.
Some of those memories popped into her head and she smiled, almost unconsciously. Memories of him.
Soon, that would be all she have left.
She was tired. It was hard to keep her thoughts from wandering.
She shook her head to regain her focus.
Follow. The. Plan.
If he hated her, he wouldn’t chase after her. Then she could stop worrying about him following her and ruining his life… or ending up entombed in ice. He’d never be in danger because of her.
All she needed to do was stop him loving her.
That was alright.
She didn’t deserve his love.
Enough stalling. Time to reconnoiter. Make sure this was still Callum’s room. Practice how best to hide while warning Callum.
She took a deep breath to calm herself, somehow more nervous now than when she was fighting Viren and Claudia.
She leapt across the rooftops, quietly landing on his balcony. She heard papers rustling and charcoal scratching – probably him sketching. At least it seemed he was still in the same room.
How should she do this? She couldn’t just hide in the shadows and say, Hi Callum. How are you? She needed to hide from him, not scare him.
But part of her wanted to rush in, beg him to forgive her. To feel his arms around her, hands caressing her face and stroking her hair. To hear him say he still loved her.
Her eyes became blurry, wetness tracking down her cheek.
Even if that were possible – which it wasn’t – she shouldn’t do it. He deserved someone better than her. Someone who didn’t lie to him. Someone who didn’t leave him. Someone worthy of a prince. Someone she could never be now.
Stop the wishful thinking. Stay focused on the plan! she thought, reprimanding herself.
She needed to be sure Callum was the one writing on the paper.
Stepping closer to the doorway, the crunch of a leaf beneath her left foot startled her. Damn it! She’d forgotten her left eye didn’t see as well since the injury.
The scratching of charcoal stopped.
She stood perfectly still, hoping he’d ignore the sound and go back to sketching.
The chair scrapping the stone floor was loud in the evening silence. Footsteps approached.
No! She wasn’t ready to talk to him yet.
She was still too weak. He’d see her… and loath her. She wasn’t ready for his look of horror and disappointment. She lacked the strength to not shatter when he screamed and sent her away.
She’d come back tomorrow.
The full moon made her strong.
She could warn him… and hide what she’d become.
She leapt back to the rooftop, heading for the forest.
She didn’t rush.
Rushing was impossible with the tears in her eyes.
---------------------
Callum stood at the railing of the balcony outside his room. The evening was still warm, a slight breeze ruffling his hair. He’d come out to watch the full moon rise over the castle. He’d never taken much interest in the moon before he’d met Rayla. Now, he watched the moon every night, hoping Rayla was watching it too and somehow, the moon would connect them… bring them back together.
He loved the time she’d been with him – shining bright, so warm and beautiful. But inevitably, like the moon, she left him.
And he’d been powerless to stop it.
He hoped, like the moon, she’d eventually return.
It had been the two hardest months of his life since she’d left him at the Moon Nexus. He’d kept his word to Ez and Opeli and stayed in Katolis. Ez was relieved to have his help, and sometimes just a hug from his big brother. They talked about many things – except Rayla.
Ez reassured him if anyone could kick Viren’s butt, it was Amaya and Janai. But it had been almost two months since they’d left. And while they were following rumors about dark mages, they hadn’t heard anything about Rayla.
Callum hoped he’d done the right thing – staying in Katolis instead of looking for her. He could fly to her faster than the troops to march. What if she’d needed him and he wasn’t there?
Instead, he’d spent the time reading all the books he could find in the library about Xadia, elves, dragons and magic. A lot of it was wrong. He started writing his own book to set the record straight but the memories that brought back were still too fresh and painful. So, he sketched instead.
He sighed and went back to his desk. Tonight, he was sketching Rayla again. Trying to capture her smile, the way she raised one side of her mouth higher than the other. The lilac eyes, the pointy ears, the horns, the pale hair, her lips. The charcoal and paper never seemed to come close to capturing her beauty.
Drawing her made him miss her. He missed her smile and snarky remarks, her playful banter. But he still drew. He’d rather miss her than forget her.
Last night his heart had leapt when he’d heard something on his balcony. But when he’d looked, no one was there. Still, he kept checking the balcony doorway, hoping.
Tonight, he was so engrossed in the drawing it was a while before he remembered to check the balcony. Looking through the balcony doorway, open to the evening, he noticed a blurring of the stars, like air shimmering in the heat.
“Rayla?” he asked cautiously.
The blur moved slightly.
Callum stood and gingerly stepped towards the balcony, approaching the blur as if it were a skittish bird.
“Callum, stay there,” the blur said. “It’s me.”
Callum froze. It sounded like Rayla… but slightly different. “Rayla, is that you?” he asked quietly.
“Yes,” she said, still a blur.
A few moments passed silently.
“I’ve come to warn you that Viren and Claudia are very much alive,” she said finally.
That wasn’t really news. She’d told him that before she left. “Rayla, did you actually see them in person, or do you just believe they’re still out there?”
“I know you don’t have any reason to trust me after what I did to you,” she said, her voice faltering. “But you need to listen to me now. I saw them. I fought them. They’re even more dangerous than before. Please, you have to believe me.” She sounded desperate.
“I believe you,” he said. He was trying to stay calm but his voice came out hesitant instead.
“Do you really?” She asked defensively. “Or are you humorin’ me because you think I’ve gone mad. Well, I’m not crazy!”
“Rayla, I believe you.” He held up his hands in front of him, hoping to look accepting. “Please come inside. We can talk about it.”
Rayla was quiet for a few moments.
Maybe she’s thinking about leaving again, he thought frantically.
Finally, she answered. “I can’t.”
“Why not? Is dark magic keeping you out?” There were old legends of creatures who couldn’t enter homes with an invitation, which he’d always thought were silly. But maybe it was real and caused by dark magic.
“No.” She sighed, sounding exhausted.
“Then what is it,” he asked as gently as he could.
Callum waited, heart pounding.
“Rayla?” he finally asked.
“I’m sorry Callum,” she said. “I’m goin’ back to Silvergrove to be with Ethari. I’ll get unghosted and live there. We don’t belong together.” Her words lacked conviction. Like she was reading from a script. Or trying to convince herself.
“Why?”
“I… I don’t… love you anymore,” she answered tentatively.
Stop lying to me! he screamed in his head. He was tired of her trying to protect him but yelling would only scare her away. “I’m sorry you don’t love me anymore, because I still love you,” he said instead. “I can tell something’s wrong. I want to help.”
“I don’t deserve your help,” Rayla snapped.
Callum waited, unmoving. She continued. “I tried to fight them, Viren and Claudia, but I lost,” she admitted slowly. “You don’t deserve me. After what I’ve done to you, after what I’ve become… and it was all for nothin’.” There was a terrible despair in her voice.
She always worried too much about him. She needed to know he was worried about her. “Rayla, I admit I’m angry with you for leaving. But I haven’t stopped loving you.”
He walked slowly to his table. “Look,” he said, picking up the sketch he was working on, holding it for her to see. “I still think of you every day. And dream of you every night. We can fix whatever happened. Together.”
The blur shook as choked sobs from the balcony tore at Callum’s heart.
“Please Rayla,” Callum pleaded. “Let me see you again.”
The blur slowly became more opaque in the darkness of the balcony, eventually revealing a silhouette, framed by the light of the full moon. It looked like Rayla… but something was off.
“There,” she said, resignation in her voice. “Now you can see me.”
Callum stepped carefully toward the balcony doorway. Rayla backed away at his approach. He stopped, fearing she’d leave again.
As his eyes adjusted to the darkness, he could see the outline of her head… but the hair on her left side seemed too short. And her ear didn’t look right.
“Rayla, what happened?” he exclaimed moving towards her.
Rayla backed up again, raising her hands defensively and turning her face away.
Callum stepped back. “I’m sorry… I don’t mean to scare you. Just tell me what happened.”
Rayla lowered her hands, face still turned away. He waited, almost forgetting to breathe.
After a moment, she drew a deep breath, as if gathering her courage to speak. “About a month ago, I finally tracked them to a cave, northwest of the Spire,” she said quietly. “I thought it was my chance to end this. But Claudia still had the staff and Viren was very much alive. They were too powerful. When I realized I couldn’t win, I tried to escape. I had to warn everyone… tell you where they were, but the edge of one of Claudia’s firebolts hit me.”
Rayla stopped, taking a few breaths before continuing.
“I… I managed to get away, but I was hurt… bad. They chased me for over a day. They almost had me. I was too bad off to run any more. But they just left. I didn’t care why. I holed up for a few weeks until the full moon approached. It gave me enough strength to travel back here to warn you. That’s what happened.”
She started crying.
“I know you probably hate me,” she choked out. “Now that I’ve warned you, I’ll leave. I don’t ruin your life anymore.”
Her breaths came in gasps now. He reached out a hand towards her, but she recoiled.
“Rayla, I don’t hate you,” he said gently, pulling back his hand, “I love you. I don’t ever want you to leave. I’m just glad you’re alive.”
“You say that now,” she warned. “But you won’t love me after you see me.”
“I promise I’ll love you no matter how you look. You’ll always be my Rayla. Come into the room… please.”
“No,” she said shaking her head. “I don’t want your last memory of me to be this. I want you to remember me like I was.”
“I don’t want this to be our last memory,” he pleaded. “I want to keep making memories with you.”
“How can you say that!” she yelled hoarsely. “I lied to you. I ran off on a stupid mission. You don’t deserve someone like me… especially now.” She wiped one eye before starting to turn away. “I should go.”
Callum felt the panic rising as she turned from him. He couldn’t let her leave again!
“Rayla, please!” he said desperately. “You think I won’t love you when I see you. Come inside, and if you’re right, then I promise I won’t ask you to stay. But if you’re wrong, I ask you stay, at least tonight, so I can be with you one last time… make one last memory.”
“I don’t know…” She was hugging herself, rocking gently back and forth.
He had to make her stay – even if he had to cause her pain. “You left me on my birthday,” he said pausing to let his pain sink in. “Please, Rayla, you owe me this at least.”
After a few moments, the rocking stopped and she dropped her arms. “Okay,” she said, sounding defeated. He started breathing again.
Callum walked back into the room and leaned against his desk, attempting to appear calm, waiting – not wanting to give her any reason to change her mind.
Rayla, slowly, tentatively, entered the room and the light.