Work Text:
it started out small.
at first it wasn't full flowers. not even whole petals. bits and scraps of them, so tiny that dream couldn't recognise what they were - only that they made his throat itch and made him cough way more often.
and strangely enough, he always got it around george. maybe it was a coincidence, but he doubted it. never around sapnap. never around bad. never around karl or techno or wilbur or tommy. he was completely fine around them.
but when george laughed, or made an unfunny joke, or called him an idiot? it would start up again. the feeling rising in his throat, like he was choking on something. an itch he couldn't scratch. something blocking out his airway and his lungs until he found it hard to breathe. a cyst that wouldn't go down.
then the petals started.
rubbery feelings between his lips. the first time was during the minecraft championship - or rather, after. they'd come first place, and george had sounded so... giddy. joyful. and he grew to hate as much as he loved it, because that meant the feeling would come again.
this time there was more. he opened his mouth to say something, but something fell out instead. so pink and vibrant, the edges spotted with blood. he turned it over in his fingers, everything fading away around him. forgetting that he was streaming, that he was in a call.
no, only that there was a petal in his mouth, and he didn't know how it had gotten there, not unless he'd been eating flowers in his sleep. he shrugged it off. weird things happened sometimes. and as long as it didn't happen again, he could move past it.
the problem was that it did happen again. over and over again. sometimes it was scraps of petals, sometimes it was the full thing. some were yellow, some where white, some were purple or red. they were always spotted with blood, or completely soaked in them.
dream hated it so much. every time the feeling came back, he felt like curling up into a ball until it went away, to ignore the aching and stinging in his chest. but even he couldn't deny, despite the blood, how vibrant and pretty the petals were. how colourful and delicate.
it was painful and terrible - and beautiful just the same.
【 ❀ 】
when dream thought it couldn't get any worse, it did.
"so," george said, voice a little fuzzy through the discord call. dream leaned back in his chair and fiddled with his fingers. "dream, i know this is a little out of the blue, but do you maybe want to meet up with sapnap? all three of us?"
he launched out of his seat, spitting his drink out as he stared at his phone screen, making sure he wasn't imagining this. "what?" he asked, out of breath, and george giggled. "you - you want to meet up?"
"yeah, of course. i've been waiting to see your face for so long, dream." dream sat back and sighed, rocking back and forth. he could just send george a picture, but was he ready for that yet? and most importantly, did he want to throw away this opportunity?
"oh," was all he said.
and then it began.
the itching feeling raced up his throat, and dream started to hack and cough once more. stinging pain wracked his chest. "sorry, george, i gotta -" he tapped the disconnect button before he could finish, jumping up and sprinting toward the bathroom.
dream slid to his knees and doubled over the toilet. liquid started to run across his chin, and he had a feeling it was redder than drool. something forced his way out through his lips - delicate and soft, unlike the sensation it had had in his chest, like red-hot razor blades.
but no. this was... a flower.
he cupped it in his hands and blinked, running his fingers across the layered petals. they were shade of red and pink, petals perfectly curved, no rip or imperfection in sight. speckled with blood, as always, but it blended in well with the flower's colour. almost unnoticeable if you weren't looking for it.
ignoring the blood around his mouth, dream stood up on shaky legs and reached for his phone by his desk. hey are you okay, read george's message. dream swiped past it without responding.
google image search told him that the flower was a camellia. camellia is a genus of flowering plants in the family theaceae... generally, camellias symbolise love, affection, admiration...
his breath caught at the last two words.
and longing.
【 ❀ 】
"and i keep coughing up these flowers. it hasn't stopped, no matter how much medicine i take," dream explained. it had only gotten worse since that call with george. he wasn't constantly hacking up plants, but the itchy feeling never really went away.
his doctor, bad, sighed. "hmm. that's interesting, dream." he picked up his clipboard and began to write across a sheet of paper. "by any chance, do you only cough these flowers up around a specific person? someone you care about deeply, perhaps?"
dream's eyes widened, which seemed to be answer enough for bad.
"i'm afraid you have hanahaki disease," bad said, writing on his clipboard. "it's very rare. there have only been thirty-two cases of it recorded worldwide in this decade, and only sixty-five since its first diagnosis in nineteen-eighty-one."
okay, dream thought, trying to keep his breathing even, alright. he wasn't a medical expert, but he'd come to learn that if a disease was rare, it had to be pretty terrible. bad, despite the worried look on his face, continued.
"it stems from unrequited love, wherein flowers grow in your lungs. there is an influx of growth wherever you're around this specific person, which forces your body to cough the flowers up, as a sort of defense mechanism. however, eventually, the flowers will fill your lungs completely and you will.. die."
oh, god. what had he done to deserve this? was love not supposed to be a gift? why was it a curse for him instead? "this love. is it... romantic?" dream asked, hoping bad wouldn't confirm his suspicions.
well, it would at least explain a lot. why he had the weird, instinctive tendency to be so good and heroic around george - why his heart sped up a little quicker, made him feel so warm in his chest.
"we don't know everything about the disease yet, but in all cases... yes. it's romantic." bad tapped his pen against the clipboard. "there are to ways to cure the disease. make this person love you back, romantically, or get a surgery to remove the flowers."
dream perked up. a surgery sounded painful, but a much better alternative to dying. and getting george to love him back - unlikely. the guy was straight, anyhow. dream didn't stand a chance.
unfortunately, bad seemed to catch his look of hope and continued. "um... however, there's a catch to this surgery. patients who receive it live, but are unable to feel any kind of love again, whether it be platonic, familial, or romantic. they also showcase alarming amounts of apathy."
yeah, that sounded more realistic. live, but as an emotionless robot! yay. "so i won't feel anything ever again?"
"no. you'll be able to feel emotions, just not at the intensity you do now. some patients also develop mental illnesses, though that's only in a few cases, and not a certainty." bad finished his explanation, pressing his clipboard to his chest. "i am so s -"
"how long do i have left?" dream asked. bad blinked. "to get my... friend to like me back. how long before i die?"
"before the disease grows fatal... around two weeks. if it isn't cured by then, you'll be forced to undergo the surgery. or... well... some patients opt for death."
so he was caught. either he was going to live as an empty shell of a human being, or he was going to die, if he didn't get george to like him back. it was impossible. he could never do that, and certainly not in a month.
but even in the face of death, dream liked a challenge.
【 ❀ 】
so about that trip to the uk, dream texted. as soon as he did, the offline icon next to george's profile picture flicked to green. he smiled. i bought two tickets already. one for sap, of course. clear a spot for me in that dingy flat of yours
i live in a house you cuck
dream laughed. before he could type back, george sent a following text. i'm kinda excited to see you. in person. i know you already showed me ur face but i feel like it would be different irl.
this made dream heart swell, but he tried to hide it as he coyly texted back, oh, trust me, you're not wrong. i'm much better in person ;) he slipped the phone across his desk, heart pounding. so this is what it had come to. flirting over discord and tossing the phone away in fear of disgust or rejection.
what a sad loser he was.
okay, so maybe he'd been a little eager to book the flight, especially without notifying george in advance. what if the guy was busy, dream, what would you have done then? he had a life too, you know.
fortunately, george didn't seem to have any plans, meaning his reckless flight-booking would go as planned. besides, how would he get george to fall in love with him over screen? not likely. that would take years more, and he only had a month.
so inside he thanked the heavens that yes, george was free, and so was sapnap. maybe he could help, if dream decided to tell about the whole thing to sap. he was dream's best friend for a reason, after all. though what advice could he give dream? sapnap had never been the most wise of people...
and he was going in circles now. great. dream ran his fingers through his dirty blond hair and sighed. he'd have to pull himself together if he wanted to seduce (god, that sounded so weird) george before the month was over. he only had so much time...
dream coughed, and pain shot through his chest. a petal floated out of his mouth, and dream caught it. thankfully not a whole flower, but it still left a feeling in his throat that was less than pleasant. he turned it over in his fingers.
this was from a flower he'd seen, so many times - hacking them up playing minecraft with george, or dream trying to hide the fact that he was hunched over the toilet in a call with him. the symbol for love. everyone knew it, no matter what language they spoke or where they were from.
roses. red. the colour of love.
the colour of blood.
【 ❀ 】
"dream!"
"george!"
they crashed into each other in excitement. it wasn't a hug - more like an awkward mashing of bodies as they slid against the floor. george curled his hands into fists and looked up, smiling, as they steadied.
despite the itchy feeling starting to rise in his throat again, dream smiled back. "it's nice to see you. where's s -"
"here's sapnap!"
another person crashed into them, like a bowling ball knocking down pins, though dream and george managed to stay on their feet. sapnap spread his arms out, smile wide, shaking his hands. "hello! dream, my esteemed best friend." he turned and bowed. "and the... bri-ish guy."
"bitchnap," george said curtly back, nodding primly, before they both burst into laughter. this was nice. this was how things should be, if dream managed not to fuck it up or let george catch wind of his disease.
which, speaking of. "i think i have to go the toilet, you guys," dream said nervously, "you know, long flight, all that. you two catch up! protect my baggage, i'll be back in a -" he coughed as something lodged in his throat, "- sec."
he backed off, spinning on his heel and sprinting toward the bathroom. pushing past a few people, and apologising hurriedly as the sickeningly sweet taste of flowers filled his mouth. dream barged into the bathroom, kicking open a stall door and letting his mouth fall open in front of the toilet bowl.
this time it wasn't one single flower, but rather a whole lot of them falling through his lips. there was no vomit, but the feeling was alike to that, excess saliva and blood dripping down his chin.
dream rested his forehead against the white plastic and breathed, trying to reassure himself. this was just the first meeting, naturally he'd be excited. he wouldn't be spitting out flowers every second he was around george this week, right?
right?
he stood up, pressing the flush button. watching the petals sink down the drain, a beautiful, mesmerising flurry of red and pink and orange. sometimes the most painful things are the prettiest, he recalled reading. a little too on the nose.
dream ignored the stares that followed him as he walked out, swiping the blood from around his mouth. george and sapnap turned to him, smiling and teasing each other as he approached.
he hoped it'd be okay. it'd have to be.
"so, you ready to go?" george asked, raising his eyebrows. dream watched the way light landed across his face, strips of yellow making his pale skin look so ethereal, black hair neat and brushed. he smiled, shaky and nervous but sure all the same.
"yep."
【 ❀ 】
the house was a little cramped for dream, but it was nice. or maybe he was just spoiled.
"sapnap, you can take the guest room." george pointed toward one of the doorways, and sapnap nodded, dragging his baggage into it. "um, dream... i don't... uh, you can take my bed, i guess." he shuffled. "or the couch. i'd definitely prefer if you took the couch."
well, at least he's honest. dream grinned at george's snark. "we warned you we were coming, george," he said, "like, what, a few days in advance? pretty irresponsible of you to not be prepared." he wagged his finger, to which george blinked and crossed his arms.
"what was i supposed to do, buy a new house?" george deadpanned. dream laughed and pushed open the door to george's bedroom, eyes widening as he peered inside. "uh -"
"your bed is huge! george!" dream yelped in excitement, rushing forward to jump onto the mess of sheets and blankets. "i've seen it during facecam streams and all, but i never thought it'd be this big in real life. holy shit." he fell back onto the bed and sighed. "comfy."
george stood next to the side, rubbing his arm as if unsure what to do. "we can totally share the bed if it's this big," dream said, without thinking about his words. the next moment he straightened, eyes wide as he looked at george, whose face was bright red. "if - if you want to! it's -"
"no, it's - it's okay," george said. he sat down on the bed, at first carefully as if it were a trap, before settling into it. "we can share. it is a pretty big bed." they were silent for a moment. "it's nice to see you, dream."
"and not sapnap?" dream tried to joke, despite his racing heart.
"you know you're different," george said, and dream's eyes widened, though he tried to hide it. "not - not in that way. but i've always been closer to you than with sapnap, you know?" he leaned back on his hands. "you understand."
dream smiled, trying for a grin, though it wavered. "i'm honoured," he forced out, past the words that repeated themselves in his mind over and over again. not in that way. he doesn't love you. not like you love him. not in that way.
"i know i've seen your face before," george continued, seemingly oblivious to dream's pain. "but it's so different in real life. might be just me, but it's like seeing you in person is... when i can..." he lifted his hand, hovering near dream's face, which was turning red. his fingers twitched like he wanted to touch, but george faltered and let both his hands fall into his lap again. "sorry."
"it's fine," dream said quickly, nervous not to ruin the moment, swallowing down the familiar feeling in his throat and chest. "i mean, i've seen you about a hundred times by now. but today, seeing you the first time in person..." it's like i was seeing you for the first time, too. "dunno. was just different."
this made george relax, leaning back onto his hands. "glad i'm not the only one who feels that way," he remarked, face faintly red.
it wasn't a rare occurrence. george was about as pale as a sheet of paper, and he flushed easily. it was no big deal, except dream couldn't help but admire the way his skin dusted a different shade, the colour of flowers he'd seen so many times, through his lips, out of his mouth...
birds chirped. winds fluttered through the leaves, making trees sway outside the window. george fiddled with his fingers and hummed softly. dream ignored the pain spreading through his torso, maybe i should be confessing right now, he thought. ask him out. that was the beginning of a relationship, right?
"george..." he began, sitting up to tug at george's shirt sleeve. george turned to dream and raised his eyebrow. "i..." i love you.
his next thought: it's too early.
he ran his hand across the bedsheets and smiled. "we should go out and eat. besides, sapnap's probably getting bored." at the mention of sap, george rolled his eyes fondly. "come on. you've got to show us around, remember?"
dream jumped up, off of the huge bed, standing at the side and extending his hand toward george. with a soft smile, george took it, wrapping his hand around dream's and letting dream pull him off the bed.
it's a date, dream wanted to say. instead he just smiled back.
【 ❀ 】
"are you awake?" george asked.
dream had been right - they very well could share a bed without getting into any awkward positions. when george spoke, it sounded like it was coming from a distance away, even though they couldn't have been more than a foot apart.
"i am now," dream said sarcastically, lying although he'd been awake the whole time. he wasn't exactly sure why. "what's wrong, gogy? had a nightmare?"
there was the sound of a person shifting, blankets ruffling as george moved. his leg brushed against dream's, and though he quickly moved away it was like static, electricity running through dream and up to his chest. he wondered when he'd gotten so soft, so smitten.
"not that. i just couldn't sleep, you idiot," george mumbled back, though his insults sounded half-hearted when he was so sleep-drunk. he rolled over to face dream, and though they were still clear of each other it felt so much more intimate.
"so," dream started, tracing lines across the sheet creases as he talked. "where to tomorrow? are there any ice skating rinks? i like those." george smiled, though dream couldn't pinpoint why, continuing to ramble. "or paintball. laser tag. sapnap likes games like those."
george tapped at his chin, thinking. "don't know about paintball or laser tag," he murmured, "we're a little old for that now, don't you think?" don't let sapnap hear that, dream thought. "ice skating rink... there's one around. i was kind of planning to go to this flower garden nearby, though."
"flowers?" dream questioned meekly, a swirl of memories, of different colours and shades, ran through his mind as he froze up.
to his building dread, george nodded. "flowers. i've never went, but they're probably really pretty."
dream bit the inside of his cheek. oh, i've probably seen them before, he wanted to say. ones that had taken root in his lungs, making him cough and hack blood up until he had nothing left, dull as he sat on the bathroom floor and wished that he didn't have to love anymore.
although, wasn't that what would happen? if george didn't love him back? leave him empty, with a hole in his heart? it seemed a pretty terrible life, to not feel anything, to not love anyone or anything.
"i mean, i might not be able to see them like... because of my colourblindness... but i'm sure they'll still be beautiful." george smiled, like he was imagining it, looking up to the ceiling before his eyes flickered toward dream. "uh, are you alright?"
his face, though there was still a dreamy quality to it, was full of concern. another wave of love washed over dream as he looked at george - his best friend. the person he'd known all these years. laughed with, joked with. even if they weren't together, or dating, it didn't change the fact that they were a team. a pair.
george was his person, and dream was his.
"i'm fine. honestly, the flower garden sounds great, george." even though it might make me want to cough up a few flowers of my own. "i... it's just that..." i love you. i love you too much. i love you, too much for my own good.
he blinked. "you know what, i'm fine, actually. just a little sleepy, is all. i... need to go to the bathroom." dream jumped off, feet hitting the tiled floor. "good night, george."
"good night," george said, curling into the pillows and blankets. he seemed so much less snappy when he was tired, fingers clutching at the white sheets as he closed his eyes. "i love you, dream," he added, almost a whisper.
something in dream's throat lurched as he stood there, staring, before remembering he was supposed to go to the bathroom.
he made it just in time for the flowers to start falling.
【 ❀ 】
stop. please.
another flower. another lurch of blood and spit.
i just want it to stop.
it didn't. it was too late for him. if the doctor had been right, then today was his last day. his last chance. two weeks since the diagnosis. his last chance, except there was no way in hell he'd be saved now. not by george. he'd failed.
this was the one challenge he couldn't overcome. love.
another petal forced its way out of his mouth. it was pure white, what he saw of it at least, but was quickly soaked by blood that poured after it. everything hurt and stung, in his lungs and throat and mouth. his lips stretched, cracking, and dream wouldn't be surprised if there was a cut along there too.
he wiped at the toilet seat, which was beginning to overflow with red. though the flowers floated, the were beginning to pile up in the bowl. pink and light blue, lilac and orange. it was too late.
he'd tried. he'd tried so hard to confess, to tell george how he felt, to get him to say it back. i love you too, dream. but no. the disease must have messed with his vocal cords, too, because he just couldn't.
or maybe he wasn't good enough, and never had been. it was all over for him. what could he do? even now george wasn't there, had gone to the convenience store for snacks. any other time, and it would've been normal. a picture-perfect trip. a meeting of a group of friends.
but now...
"dream?"
fuck. he'd forgotten to lock the door.
before he could say anything, sapnap had barged in. light flooded into the dark, unlit bathroom. footsteps as sapnap slid to his knees, grabbing dream by the shoulder. "dude, are you -" he squinted at the petals and blood, "- okay...? what the fuck?"
"i'm sorry, sap," dream said, voice hoarse and broken, "i didn't want you to find out like this." if he wanted sap to find out at all. would he have had the courage to do that? or would he have frozen up, let his best friend live in blissful ignorance, just like he had with george?
"what is this?" sapnap stood up to switch on the lights, peering down at the flowers, even more gruesome now that they could see it clearly. "is this some kind of joke, or have you really been vomiting up flowers?"
dream tapped his chest. "coughing," he corrected, "they come from my lungs, not my stomach." before realising that sapnap probably didn't want a biology lesson. "i have this thing called hanahaki disease. they diagnosed it two weeks ago. it's when you're in love with a person and it makes you cough up flowers... unless they return your feelings."
he smiled weakly at sapnap, who didn't seem as content with this. "what? you're in love with..." he faltered for a second, thinking. "with george. it's george, isn't it?"
"that obvious?"
despite everything, sapnap laughed. full of pain, but a laugh all the same, his hand over his face as he snickered. "you have such bad taste," he managed, and dream breathed out a laugh as well. "is it... will it..."
"yeah, it's fatal," dream said, brushing his hair behind his ear. "this is my last day to... if he confesses today, i'll be alright. but if he doesn't, the disease will grow too big, and i'll have to get a surgery. and i'll..." he shivered. "never love again. or feel."
sapnap swallowed. "pretty depressing," he said. he stood up. "we should go tell george, then - before it's too late." dream didn't say anything, and didn't move from his seat on the bathroom floor. "what are you waiting for?"
"i can't, sapnap," dream said desolately, voice flat and emotionless. "i've tried. this whole week, i've tried. even before that." his voice cracked on the last word. "it's no use, sap. it's over for me. i'll have to get a surgery."
just then, a phone beeped. dream pulled it out of his pocket. "the surgery's a few hours from now." he scrunched up his nose, trying his best not to cry. not now. "i have to go. you..." dream stood up. "you tell george i love him, okay? since i can't seem to do it myself. and sapnap..."
tears trailed down sap's face as he looked up at dream, smiling softly. he wished it didn't have to be this way. "in case i can't tell you this after... i love you. you're my best friend, and i love you." he picked up his bag, just outside the bathroom. "goodbye, sap. wish me luck."
"good luck," he heard sapnap say, before he was out the door and onto the pavement, waving for a taxi.
at least they'd had this one trip, this one week, to know each other. see each other. to touch, and to talk, and to hear each other's voices in person. george would always be his person, and dream would forever be his. the way things should be, even if he didn't know it after the surgery.
i love you, dream.
"i love you too, george."
but there was no around but the wind to hear.
【 ❀ 】
the plastic chairs of the hospital were uncomfortable, to say the least.
people were chattering, some entering the side rooms for checkups or shots. it seemed to be a busy day, but not too crowded that it cramped dream. a normal day, an average amount of people. it was probably a normal day for them.
dream clenched his hands into fists, tightening into the fabric of his pants. how he wished that it'd be normal for him, too.
someone called his name. that was his cue. dream stood up, breathing hard. this would be the last time - the last time he felt anything, the last time he had the urge to cry or laugh or smile. the last time he loved.
and he loved a lot of things. minecraft; the sense of joy and accomplishment he only got from speedrunning, or completing a difficult parkour map. patches, his cat - she was so cute, always jumping into boxes she couldn't possibly fit in.
sapnap, his best friend, his confidant - dream loved him too, no matter how dumb the advice sap gave, because he'd always been there for dream and dream had always been there for him and that was just how things were. and george...
it was indescribable. there was the way george got so loose-lipped and comfy when he was sleepy, the way he said his name - dream - in a way so casual and distinguished, saying it not because it was important but because it just felt right, out of habit. hey, dream.
there would be nothing like that ever again. after the surgery, dream'd be... empty. dull. a shadow of the him that he used to be. there were so many things he'd yet to discover, so many things he'd yet to do. dreams fading away into oblivion as his ambitions and his love was taken away...
maybe, if he was lucky, they'd continue to be friends after this. if they were kind enough to take him.
another call of his name. he took a step forward.
"dream!"
he gasped, and the next second dream was tackled to the ground. george buried his face in dream's chest and hugged him, tight. dream couldn't process what was happening until george started to cry and shake as he held dream.
"i'm sorry," he said, voice broken, repeating it over and over like a broken record. "i'm sorry. i'm so sorry. this is all my fault." dream started to wrap his own arm around george as the other sobbed into his hoodie. "i never told you i loved you and now it's all my f -"
"you what?' dream choked on another flower, the scent heavy, drifting through the air as tears started to prick at his own eyes. despite the flower trying to rise from his throat and out, dream swallowed, eyes widening. "you - you -"
everything faded away into background noise and static when george breathed out a laugh. he was still so pretty like this, even with tear tracks down his face, and dream couldn't help but stare. he had nothing left else to do. "you don't get it, do you," george sobbed, even past his laughter, "i love you, dream. i love you."
he buried his chest further into dream's hoodie. "i'm an idiot and i love you. and i - and i hope it's not too late because i couldn't bear it if you left and i -" dream took a sharp breath, "- and i let you go. i wouldn't be able to forgive myself. so i'd like to be this with you... if you'll have me."
dream let out a breathy laugh and buried his face in george's hair, legs tangling with george's. george loved him back. and though the feeling in his throat didn't go away, maybe someday it would. the pain ebbed, and the petals that fell out of his lips next were the last ones.
and someday, he wouldn't ever think of flowers again, not unless it was in a bouquet he'd give george on their first date. their first proper date. things were going to be okay. dream let the tears roll down his face and he smiled.
"of course i'll have you, george."
【 ❀ 】
things went on as usual, almost startlingly so. dream and sapnap flew back to the states, and when dream came home to patches his heart was still intact to cuddle and pet and love her. his computer worked as normal, and he continued to practice speedrunning strats.
and even with george - now as a couple, to which sapnap pretended to be disgusted at - nothing seemed too different, except the occasional, bashful, i love you, when they disconnected calls. but other than that, they laughed and joked and poked fun at each other as they always had.
just went to show how in love dream was, even before the trip, he supposed.
he'd like to say that trip changed everything. it would certainly make for a more dramatic story, especially with his brush with death. but after that the flowers shrunk, the aching in his chest stopped, and he hadn't coughed or hacked up anything ever since. leaving nothing of the disease behind except a rose he kept on his shelf, dried and pasted into a journal.
so maybe some things changed. that was how life went. things changed, and sometimes dream was equipped to deal with it, and sometimes he wasn't. but there was one thing that never changed, and that was george, how he laughed and smiled and stammered, how jittery yet snappy he was. his neat dark hair and his cheesy clout goggles and a grin that convinced dream that george could say the word and he would jump on a flight to brighton right that second. anything for him.
maybe some things changed. but george was his person, and dream was his, and that was how it would always be.
forever.