Work Text:
it was a relaxing weekend. hyunjin, felix and han got to stay in because they had no plans for the day whereas the rest of the members had lessons or appointments they had to go to. hyunjin woke up to his obnoxious alarm that he was growing immune to. no amount of “HWANG HYUNJIN GET UP!!!” will ever be able to phase him, he was evolving, science was right. in his groggy state, he turned around from his bed to quickly shut of the demonic sound that dared to interrupt his rare opportunity to sleep in.
after shutting off his alarm, he snuggled back under his covers, extremely grateful for the chance to relax in bed and do absolutely nothing but sleep. hyunjin was given a day off because he had to perform a solo dance for a music stage last night but the members didn’t. preparing for the solo dance as well as keeping up with most of his group’s schedule took a heavy toll on his mind and soul which is why he was ever so grateful of this chance to relax in bed.
sleep.
it’s what he wanted, all he wanted to do. in this moment.
all he wanted was to enter that glorious REM stage where he is comfortably unconscious, mind dormant, with no thoughts invading his mind. just sleep.
sleep wasn’t coming.
‘i just wanted an hour or two~~~’ hyunjin mentally whined, unable to filter out the sound of the loud voices coming from the living room that said “no❤️” to hyunjin’s divine plans to sleep in.
with a huff and a grunt, he dramatically pushed the covers off him, shivering a little as the cold air hit his warm skin.
he was not in a good mood anymore.
he quietly shuffled out of the room, face rubbing his hand, adorned with a mild pout-
‘you mean hand, hand rubbing his face,’ he thought with a yawn as he corrected the sleep deprived author.
after hyunjin finished relieving himself in the bathroom and brushed his teeth, he slowly walked to the living room, still trying to get rid of the sleepiness from his body as he stretched a little. he was about to turn around the corridor that lead to the living room when he heard a conversation.
“-jin is so annoying, i genuinely don’t understand how people can stand him! I tried but i just don’t get it. he’s stuck up and thinks he’s better than everyone and his dancing is absolutely mediocre if you ask me. did you see that average ass dance he did yesterday? why the hell is he even here?”
“i don’t think you should say stuff like that, it’s very harsh.”
“but i mean it with every fiber of my being and it’s true~! just seeing his face everyday makes me so angry ugh!”
hyunjin took a step back in shock, hand clasped to his mouth as he tried cover the little audible gasp he let out.
he recognized the voice which caused him to squint his eyes, brows furrowed in confusion.
but why would-
why would felix say such horrible things about him?
in his half sleep deprived state hyunjin could feel nothing but sadness, and then in mere seconds, anger and rage.
rage that he had been lied to by his friend, disdain for realizing the hidden truth, and worst of all
betrayal.
hyunjin felt betrayed.
one would feel that way if their crush all of a sudden revealed that they thought their crushee is basically not good enough.
hyunjin was about to storm out, too consumed in his anger to even think about the other voice he didn’t care to pay attention to.
he turned around swiftly and walked back to his room, closing the door without slamming it surprisingly. hot tears of frustration ran down his cheeks as he replayed the words felix spoke only mere moments ago.
‘i genuinely don’t understand how people can stand him!’
‘his dancing is absolutely mediocre if you ask me. did you see that average ass dance he did yesterday?’
‘why the hell is he even here?’
naturally he believed it was him, he heard the last syllable of his name being pronounced, and he did a solo dance yesterday for god’s sake! so many factors pointed to the fact that hyunjin was the one felix was talking about.
hyunjin went back under the covers, hastily wiping the hot tears that trickled down his cheeks, angry but mostly saddened to have heard such painful words from one of the people he loved the most in this world.
he didn’t even remember drifting back to sleep, hugging his pillow tight for comfort.
///\\\///\\\///\\\
“hyung~ hyungie~~~ wake up sleeping beauty.”
a groan left hyunjin’s lips, who the hell is this person that won’t let him sleep?! he’s tired for goodness sakes.
“hyung~ it’s almost 2pm now, it’s your day off but you should wake up and eat something, you worked hard last night,” the voice said.
hyunjin, gaining back his consciousness and awareness of his surroundings opened his eyes as soon as he was awake enough to recognize the voice, that deep voice.
hyunjin sneered.
“leave me alone,” he spat mercilessly, then proceeded to get out of bed, leaving behind a very confused, small australian boy.
felix was bewildered by the harsh response he received from hyunjin. what was worse was the look in his eyes, he could not find the usual warmth or fondness he always saw when he gazed into hyunjin’s sparkly eyes. oh no no no, what he saw- he didn’t even recognize what he saw... all he knew was that he was never at the receiving end of such a look to even understand what it meant.
“hyung...” he whispered softly to the room, population 1: him.
“what did i do?”
///\\\///\\\///\\\
han came back from his short impromptu shopping trip to a very quiet dorm.
“hey baby, i’m home,” he joked as he went into the kitchen and spotted hyunjin sitting on the island counter, munching on an apple.
“hey, how was your shopping?” hyunjin questioned. han couldn’t explain why but he could immediately tell that something was bothering hyunjin due to the way he responded.
“what’s wrong?“ jisung asked softly, slowly putting his items down to comfort his hyung.
“if i tell you, promise not to tell felix,” hyunjin stated quickly, really wanting to share what he heard felix say. he didn’t want to keep it all bottled up inside of him.
“lixie? what happened jinnie?” jisung asked, noticing how hyunjin didn’t call felix by his nickname, which he always did.
and then, hyunjin explained. he explained the words he heard the boy speak when he hid behind the corridor, and he also explained the anger and hurt he felt for it too.
han was usually rational when he wasn’t being a hyperactive quokka that unleashed chaotic energy around the house.
he should have asked felix for his opinion on the matter, but with the utter look of downright betrayal and vehemence in hyunjin’s voice after he told him not to talk about this to felix was what got him to restrain himself from contacting the boy.
“i- this doesn’t make sense, i’m not saying i don’t believe you, but that sounds nothing like felix at all,” jisung said as he looked at hyunjin, confused and began to feel disappointment bubbling up into his mind for his sunshine twin.
“he said it alright, without a doubt. i heard it loud and clear,” hyunjin spoke as he looked at the tiled floors, eyes relatively glossed over as he recalled the harsh words over and over again.
“but, we both know none of that is true right? if you weren’t such an amazing dancer jyp would have never accepted you as a trainee and you know that,” jisung started softly as he he put an index finger below hyunjin’s chin to make him look up and see the genuine words he expressed.
“thanks sungie,” he mumbled as his dongsaeng encased him into a hug.
“anytime, and i’ll say it again a million times if o have to,” he said confidently, kissing hyunjin’s temple in a sloppy manner that had the older member squealing in disgust, trying to pull away.
“ew~ jisung i’ll kill you!”
“and i’d do it again bop bop bop!”
“run.”
with that, jisung ran away as hyunjin chased him and tried to wipe the drool off onto his group members shirt.
///\\\///\\\///\\\
felix went to his room with a frown after his unexpected interaction with hyunjin, he wanted to ask the member what was wrong and if he was feeling alright.
maybe i should call chan hyung and ask
but quickly disregarded that option.
chan’s always busy and stressed out, and hyunjin might be going through something private he doesn’t want the other members to know about.
felix decided to play some animal crossing to get his mind off of hyunjin and hoped that hyunjin could cool off if he gave him the space he needed.
///\\\///\\\///\\\
han knew he shouldn’t have done it. he shouldn’t have given felix the cold shoulder, but he was quickly consumed by his thoughts of making hyunjin feel better and the absolutely hurt look the older wore on his face broke his heart to pieces.
since he couldn’t directly say anything to felix, he chose to ignore him. hyunjin told him that he wasn’t most likely wasn’t supposed to hear the conversation so he shouldn’t tell felix that he eavesdropped their conversation after han asked why he didn’t talk to felix about it yet.
han later went to felix’s room, still feeling angry for his hyung and wanted to at least gain some sort of information, he wasn’t even sure what he was going to ask since he couldn’t explicitly say anything without revealing the situation, he promised hyunjin he wouldn’t.
“felix...” han says, interrupting his game as soon as he opened the door.
“sungie~~~ you’re back, what’s up?” felix said, headphones taken off, chair swiveling towards the door to get up and walk towards his sunshine twin.
“nothing but i- i have to ask you something,” he began seriously, not prodding around any bushes and cutting straight to the chase.
“you feel some type of way about hyunjin, right?”
jisung mentally kicked himself.
well, i guess i’m not as subtle as i thought i would be
felix, taken aback by the question was quickly turned into a blushing and spluttering mess.
“i- what do you mean, hyung?” felix asked, not expaecting the question.
to felix, he thought it was obvious to jisung about the way he hopelessly pined for hyunjin.
but to jisung, what he saw was someone who looked embarrassed, and his thoughts, clouded by the still lingering anger he felt for hyunjin, thought felix was embarrassed and guilty to have his true feelings relatively exposed.
before the conversation could get any further, loud noises filled the air as the rest of the members all returned to the dorms at the same time.
before felix could even respond, jisung was out the door. felix took a minute to collect himself, fanning his face rapidly as his heartbeat was going jdisksosndhdnk miles per hour. he tried his best to hide his true feelings for hyunjin, he loved the boy, but he was sure he didn’t feel the same way and so tried his best to forget his feelings.
after cooling down, he ventured out into the living room to meet with everyone.
“lixie~~~ did you miss your hyungs? it’s ok we’re all here now, no need to cry,” changbin said as soon as he spotted felix walk in who rolled his eyes fondly in response to the elder’s teasing.
“yes hyung, i was feeling oh so sad,” he stayed in a deadpan tone, which earned a chicken from the members. “how was minjun?” changbin asked. “we already told him sorry for not being able to come over after we realized we wouldn’t be here for our schedule.”
minjun was one of stray kid’s close friend, he was an aspiring actor in the theatrical world and got some roles to perform in live plays.
“ah yeah he came over and we hung out, i helped him practice some of his lines with him because he was having trouble with how his character was supposed to act and wanted a fresh person to practice with, so he chose me~,” felix bragged.
“you were the only option, sungie wasn’t here and jinnie was probably sleeping,” minho stated bluntly, teasing the boy.
“you couldn’t just let me have this?” felix pouted.
“no,” minho giggled.
“he also gave us the opportunity to come watch his final rehearsal tonight and i figured since we’re all surprisingly free we can all go and then go out to eat afterwards,” chan said, grateful for the relaxing few days they were lucky to obtain.
the members quickly agreed to these plans, looking forward to going out to eat since it’s been awhile since they all ate out.
///\\\///\\\///\\\
despite acting as if he wasn’t bothered by it, he was. he was very bothered and hurt.
hyunjin has been doing the most to ignore felix, never keeping eye contact or glance at him for even a second. he tried his best to not interact with him throughout the whole day, the members of course, noticed this behavior.
after their dinner of bulgogi with various side dishes, felix and seungmin were left to take care of the dishes.
“hyunjin, what’s going on between you and felix?” chan the ever so observant hyung asked as soon as he was alone in a room with hyunjin.
hyunjin, without even hesitating, explained everything, which even surprised him.
he slowly came to the realization that he didn’t talk to felix about it because not only was he still feeling shocked about felix’s true thoughts about him, but he was so hurt by it too because he really liked the boy. his previous anger was overcome by the utter sadness he felt, which catalyzed his inability to even address the situation with the boy of concern at all.
what’s the point of confronting him? it’s only going to affirm what he said anyway
he thought bitterly.
hyunjin and chan were not alone they realized, as they heard a creak of the door opening and a few boys stumbled out, caught off guard.
“we weren’t even eavesdropping what do you mean?” jeongin quickly said, the rest of the members behind him, sans felix and seungmin, facepalmed since he just snitched on them.
their maknae was lucky he was cute so they didn’t grill him out for it... too much.
“yah! innie! how can you out us like this?”
“sorry~~~~”
///\\\///\\\///\\\
“hey felix? you alright? you look a bit pale” concern rolled off of seungmin in heavy waves as he looked down at the shorter male beside him who was helping him wash and wipe the dishes.
“i’m fine hyung, i promise,” felix said softly. he was feeling a bit under the weather a few hours ago and assumed the feeling would fade soon but it hasn’t yet.
“you should go rest, i’ll finish up here, we’re already done anyway,” seungmin said, ushering the boy out before he could even begin to let out his protest against it.
“hyung no i’m fine, really, i just feel a bit under the weather but i’m fine, see!” he quickly grabbed seungmin’s larger wrist and slapped his hand to his forehead.
“no fever or anything!” he grinned “i’m telling you, i’m fine, you worry too much hyung,” felix teased, eyes twinkling in fondness for his hyung who cares so much for his health.
“alright, but that doesn’t mean you might not get worst later, you still look pale.”
“i’ll just stay home if i feel worst, you guys can go to the final rehearsal without me and if i’m feeling better afterwards i’ll just join you guys to go out to eat later.”
“that’s actually not a bad plan,” seungmin analyzed. “ok, sounds good.”
with that, they finished cleaning up together.
///\\\///\\\///\\\
now that everyone knew what happened, except for seungmin, the members all gathered together, whispering about the situation.
they were all flabbergasted.
“why would lixie hyung said that?” jeongin asked, lips wobbling a bit as he took more information of the boy.’she words from hyunjin.
“it doesn’t even sound like him,” minho stated.
“that’s what i thought too, but hyunjin wouldn’t lie about this,” jisung commented.
“maybe we should discuss this later tonight or tomorrow, is that okay with you jinnie?” chan asked hyunjin, who was now sitting on his bed. he nodded silently. the members wouldn’t let this go even if he asked anyway, addressing the situation was going to be inevitable.
the group decided to get ready for minjun’s rehearsal and to go out to eat, trying their best best not to look at felix too much since they couldn’t really address the situation but ironically did not really want to ignore it either.
felix was not feeling well. in his slowly growing delirious state, he was becoming less aware of the tension in the room.
seungmin was later filled in and was absolutely confused. surely there must’ve been a big misunderstanding of sorts?
“nope, that’s what he said, hyunjin heard him when was talking with minjun earlier today,” han said.
it was indeed hard to grasp. such vile words coming from someone who seemed so pure hearted? it just, made no sense.
jisung also told them of the way felix reacted when he asked him about the way he felt about hyunjin.
when felix went to the bathroom, the members decided to address this situation after their outing because it was a pretty serious and delicate discussion they had to take their time on, feelings were hurt, and they were a team, it wasn’t just a group of friends, the foundation of their job as an idol group was to work together as one team. but to be honest, they had no idea what they would even say, they imagined not being to stand one another , hyunjin and jisung had their fights in the past, but in a way it seemed less serious, more petty and immature, whereas this situation seemed oddly heavy, no one could put a finger on why.
“i’m gonna stay behind for the rehearsal, i feel a bit nauseous but i’m fine, i have no fever,” felix announced as they began preparing for their outing. he did look a bit old, but he did not look too unwell so he managed to convince the members to go without him. “but i’ll come later when we go out to eat,” felix added.
the members gave in to felix’s wish, considering the fact that the tension between felix and hyunjin would also lessen if one wasn’t present for the time being. and with that, they exited their dorm in the span of 15 minutes
///\\\///\\\///\\\
within 30 minutes they arrived at the set location for the play, the theatre looked majestic despite the relatively empty seats which was to be filled with audience members in a few days. the lights were bright, ceilings high, the atmosphere was vibrant and lovely. everyone felt giddy, the excitement of watching a performance that can help you escape reality for a little bit as you are sucked into the enticing tales of fictional characters.
no one say it coming. no member ever thought of this possibility, their words.
shock consumed hyunjin’s entire being as he listened to the character minjun was playing his lines echoing through his ears. the members also could not believe their ears, jaws slacked as the words of the man in the play reverberated through their skulls,
“dojin is so annoying, i genuinely don’t understand how people can stand him! I tried but i just don’t get it. he’s stuck up and thinks he’s better than everyone and his dancing is absolutely mediocre if you ask me. did you see that average ass dance he did yesterday? why the hell is he even here?”
“i don’t think you should say stuff like that, it’s very harsh.”
“but i mean it with every fiber of my being and it’s true~! just seeing his face everyday makes me so angry ugh!”
“you love him don’t you? your hidden forlorn state is very noticeable. i can see the pain of the possibility of unrequited love in your eyes. you should go talk to him.” Minjun, now playing the role of a guy called Ace.
many of the people who came to watch the rehearsal gasped in shock at the news, the character who seemed to have hated this man called dojin, loved him, they never saw it coming, he’ll they didn’t even know he was gay!
hyunjin felt his stomach drop in shame and guilt. the gut wrenching words he believed were meant for him... weren’t.
“it was a big misunderstanding,” chan softly said as everyone came to a realization of the truth.
“he even said he practiced some lines with minjun didn’t he?” changbin recalled.
“i- i didn’t know i-,” hyunjin hiccuped as the overwhelming guilt began to consume him, he was so harsh to felix, who was most likely clueless about everything.
a few members quickly engulfed him in a hug.
“it was a big mind understanding, this can be fixed hyunjin, you can’t blame yourself too much, so many signs made it seem like it really was you he was talking about,” chan to fried comfort the younger with his words as he patted his shoulder in sympathy.
hyunjin could hear chan’s words but couldn’t respond as a few hot tears fell down his face, more shame rolling in.
i should have known he never would have said that to me, i should have asked... now he thinks i hate him
“felix would never hate you hyunjin, he would understand once you explain it to him,” han said, hyunjin didn’t realizing he was speaking his thoughts out loud.
“i need to go see him right now i- i have to apologize!” hyunjin got up so fast he almost gave himself whiplash.
“yeah go get your mans,” jisung joked, to which hyunjin gave him a pointed glare and minho slapped the back of his head for.
“what? they clearly like each other! i need to apologize too for putting felix in the spot like that earlier as well,” jisung said.
“we should give hyunjin and felix some time alone first i think, they have a LOT more to work out, if you get what i mean,” minho teased, wiggling his brows.
“ouch! chan, i didn’t deserve that man” he said as he rubbed the back of his head. jisung cackled.
hyunjin rolled his eyes at his members as he wiped a few stray tears.
the members decided to stay behind and watch the rest of the play in order to support their friend and give hyunlix the time they needed.
///\\\///\\\
the members were only gone for 15 minutes when felix was beginning to feel a bit worse than before. his stomach seemed to be doing backflips and the ground felt like it was moving, his mouth and head felt heavy and he was sweating an ocean.
he whimpered a bit, not seeing this coming and wishing he had someone with him. he was laying on the couch and decided it best to get up and find some medication to help get rid of his malady.
are you serious?!?!
felix wanted to wail in frustration, the medicine he needed was too high up on the shelf and he was way to short to reach it. he pondered the thought of grabbing a chair but threw that idea out the window as soon as he was hit with another wave of dizziness.
he decided instead to just go straight to bed, too tired to care anymore about the medicine.
we die like men i guess
he thought amusingly, he was sick but not too sick to joke around with himself.
as soon as he reached his room he flopped onto the bottom bunk, too tired to climb up to his own.
he fell asleep within seconds, a pout adorning his face, freckles on his face and cheeks decorated with small beads of sweat.
///\\\///\\\///\\\
“lixie?” hyunjin said as he entered the quiet dorm, no longer panting because he caught his breath on the elevator on his way up. he rushed to get back to the dorms as soon as possible to apologize to the smaller male
“felix?” he tried again, something felt off, maybe he was asleep?
hyunjin checked the living room first, then headed towards the bedrooms, seeing as he could hear nothing in the kitchen, footsteps a feeling as heavy as the guilt in his chest as he walked.
“felix?” hyunjin said as he opened the bedroom door.
“hmm,” felix muttered, he woke up from his nap a few minutes ago after he crashed, surprised that he was feeling at least a little bit better.
the younger boy looked up and saw his hyung standing at the door.
he began to sit up. “hyung? why are you back so early i tho-“ he began to ask, voice groggy from its lack of use, until he was interrupted by hyunjin’s body colliding with his in a firm hug.
felix blinked in confusion but didn’t hesitate to hug back his hyung, rubbing soft circles against his back as hyunjin hugged him tightly.
“i’m sorry i’m so sorry i- i didn’t know, i shouldn’t have just assumed-“ jinnie babbled, voice muffled as he dug his head into the crook of felix’s neck.
“hyung? calm down please, it’s ok you’re ok,” felix tried to calm him down first before asking questions.
after a few more moments, hyunjin calmed down a bit.
“are you alright hyung? you’re worrying me,” felix said with a pout as he pulled away a little to look at hyunjin’s slightly flushed and tear-stricken face.
“earlier today i forgot that minjun was coming over...” hyunjin began, cutting straight to the chase. “i woke up to you and him talking in the living room but before i went into the living room i heard you say stuff from the play and thought it was about me,” hyunjin explained, eyes looking down at his lap in shame as he wrung his fingers together continuously. “the part before the big reveal where Ace exposes Dojin” hyunjin finished lamely.
“oh!” felix remembered. minjun wanted him to practice his partner’s lines with him and he tried his best to make it as believable as possible. his heart twisted in pain as he thought of the harsh but fictional words that hyunjin thought was aimed towards him.
“jinnie, you know i think you’re an amazing dancer, if anyone doesn’t deserve to be here it’s obviously me with my subpar korean skills... remember how i even got elim-“
“stop.”
felix’s self-degrading words got stuck in his throat with hyunjin’s curt yet firm interruption.
“don’t you ever, ever say that about yourself felix. you deserve to be here just as much as anyone else and you have worked so hard to get here, you moved to a fucking whole ass country with a different language to be here. your korean gets better everyday you’re literally fluent, not everyone can know all the terms in a language. you’re amazing and hardworking felix, and i mean it.” hyunjin said in one breath, eyes gazing into the younger’s surprised one.
felix knew hyunjin as one who did not give out compliments just to make others feel better, so he knew there was truth to his words.
“i... thank you hyung, that really means a lot to me,” felix softly said looking down into his lap, too shy to look the elder boy in the eye.
they were both silent for a few moments, hyunjin’s mind slowly went back to the way he treated felix until-
“ah!” hyunjin yelled in surprised as felix pulled him into an unexpected hug on the bed, laying his head on hyunjin’s chest as their limbs got tangled up together with the duvets.
“felix wha-“
“jinnie hyung,” felix said softly, playing with the hem of hyunjin’s shirt. “you zoned out, i was calling you... i know you’re still thinking about today.” felix laid his head on hyunjin’s chest, listening to his heartbeat.
the addressed boy stayed silent.
“i just...”
“you still feel bad?”
“i... yeah, i do.”
felix lifted his head to stare at the elder who chose to not look him in the eye, still reeling in his embarrassment from the misunderstanding.
felix sluggishly got up, thankful for the little amount of energy he managed to get from his short impromptu nap. he sat up straight and proceeded to straddle the elder.
“hyunjin hyung,” felix said tenderly, as if the boys name was made of glass. he grabbed both of hyunjin’s cheeks to have him face him as he slowly leaned forward.
“it’s ok baby,” felix mumbled gingerly as he looked him in the eye, then gave him a light and chaste kiss on the lips, gaining him a small smile from the older. “i forgive you, it was only a misunderstanding, and your stoopid brain must have been at 1% so you weren’t too focused on anything, you were really busy preparing for your solo performance,” the smaller male teased.
hyunjin grabbed the younger’s waist and slowly began to rub gentle circles.
“thank you,” he mumbled, grateful for how understanding felix was. numerous others would have gotten angry or defensive, and perhaps would have guilt-tripped him with a “why on earth would you think i would say that?”s or a “wow i can’t believe you ignored me for that.”
the previous energy felix seemed to have been used up as his body was beginning to feel heavier, his eyes dropped heavily as he decided to just lay on the older, too tired to roll over.
it was only then that hyunjin noticed how hot the younger’s body was.
“lixie you’re burning up” he said, relatively alarmed, slowly sitting up, now having the younger in his lap as he felt his forehead. he started noticing many signs that he missed earlier in his state of guilt. felix’s neck and forehead was very hot, his eyes were a little red and he looked absolutely exhausted.
“oh baby,” hyunjin said as he hugged the younger male who fell asleep on his chest.
“i’ll take care of you lixie, you’ll be just fine, rest for now,” he said as he kissed his forehead and slowly laid him down onto the bed to go get him some medicine and make him some soup for when he wakes up.
but the hand that weakly grabbed his had other plans.
“please stay.”
“i have to get you some things lixie,” hyunjin said gently as he tried to leave the younger.
“later, want you with me now,” felix mumbled in a relatively incoherent manner, voice laced heavily with sleep already.
luckily hyunjin got the message and began to get them both under the covers, complying with the aussie’s wish.
“i love you hyung,” felix mumbled
“i love you too lixie,” he whispered, convinced that the boy probably didn’t even hear it but he was sure he already knew how he felt anyway.