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It started in Year 7, Sam’s first year of high school. Sam was hanging out with his friends, Jake, Trent and Dylan when they passed by a kid from their school who was up against the brick wall of a building, sucking face with his girlfriend.
Sam didn’t really get the whole idea of kissing. It just seemed kind of gross, trading saliva with another human being, sticking your tongue in their mouth. He had made a comment about to his mum once and she just said that one day, he’d grow to like it.
***
Health class was the same sort of thing but worse. Sam wasn’t a big fan of school, but Sex Ed was definitely the worse subject ever. He would sit there awkwardly, along with his classmates, as the teacher would drone on about safe sex and STI’s and then chuck on an educational video from the 90’s about puberty. Basically, all he got out of it was that sometimes you can get a kid out of it, sometimes you can get an infection and sometimes, everything ends up fine. It just seemed like a bit much for something so unappealing. But there was one thing Sam’s teacher had said towards the beginning of the lesson that had really stuck out to him.
“At one point or another, all of you will experience sexual attraction.”
***
When he was in year 9, Sam started dating a girl named Mia. She was really nice and cute, and Sam really liked her. One day, she kissed him after he walked her home from school and another time, they made out at his house and Sam could actually kinda see what people were talking about. It’s just when things would start to go a tad further, Sam would stop and ask Mia if she wanted to watch a movie or go to the skate park or something. Anything.
It got weirder as time went by and his friends began to ask questions about his relationship.
It had just been a normal Saturday afternoon, walking around town after spending time at the park shooting hoops. Just talking and throwing the basketball around between the four of them.
“So, Sam, how’s Mia?”
Sam turned to Trent confused as he passed him the basketball, the red headed boy had never asked about his girlfriend before. “Um… fine?”
“Yeah she is!” Trent said, holding his hand up for a high-five after chucking the ball to Jake.
Sam didn’t quite understand why his friend was so ecstatic that his girlfriend was okay, but gave a high-five, nonetheless.
“How far have you gone with her?” Dylan asked.
“Uh… we went to the cinema one time to go see that new Batman movie.”
The other three laughed. “No mate,” Jake began, throwing the ball back to Sam. “He meant how far have you guys gone, sexually?”
“Oh…” Sam juggled the ball between his hands, lightly tossing it back and forth. “We, uh… we haven’t really.”
“Aww, Sammy, you’re still a virgin?” Dylan mocked, attempting to snatch the basketball off of Sam.
“Oi!” Sam moved the ball under his armpit. “Don’t call me that!”
“You’re not denying it!”
“So what if I am? So are all of you guys!”
Trent managed to weasel to ball off him. “That may be so, but you’re the one with a girlfriend, mate.”
Jake was always up for a good jab, but it was obvious that Sam was getting extremely frustrated and uncomfortable. “Alright, Alright. Lay off him.” He said, snatching the ball from Trent. “They’ve only been dating for a few months.”
“Thank you!” Sam sighed.
“Plus, we don’t need a lil’ Sam running around Bremin, do we boys?”
The other boys laughed as Sam scowled, slightly trailing behind them. Last time he checked, Jake himself was result of a teen pregnancy so he didn’t see why it was so funny.
***
“Pete, when did you start liking girls?”
Pete didn’t look away from the TV. “Bit late to be asking that, mate. You’ve had a girlfriend for how long?”
Sam huffed. “Just answer the question.”
“I don’t know, when I was around twelve or something?”
“But didn’t you like that Sarah girl when you were in year 3?”
“…Yeah? I had a bit of crush on her.” Pete laid his right arm on top of the couch and turned his head to face his brother. “Sam, what are you on about?”
“I… I don’t know.” Sam grabbed his skateboard and helmet of the floor. “Forget it.”
***
In Year 10, Sam goes on an excursion to The Bremin Rangers with his science class, getting lost with Jake and two other boys in his year, Andy and Felix. And somehow, they end up in an alternative universe.
He’s sad and scared, missing his parents, brothers and girlfriend like crazy all while there’s another kid living his life. It’s driving him insane.
Then the questions start up again.
The four of them were sitting on the ground in the shack, a pile of scraps in the middle they had decided were worthy enough to be considered as food for dinner, talking about anything that comes to mind.
Home being a thing that quickly comes to mind.
So, all of them talk about their families, himself and Andy rambling on and on, while Jake and Felix say small snippets of their homelives every once and a while.
After a while, Mia gets brought up, due to Sam mentioning her in a story about him and his brothers doing something stupid which resulted in him getting stitches.
“She called me a moron and an idiot, anything under the sun really. But she would check on me daily, whether by text or actually coming to my house. We had only started dating three days before and its not like she was forced to look after me just ‘cause. She just did, ‘cause that’s just who she is.” Sam’s smile quickly dropped from his face, remembering why he was telling stories about his loved ones. “Man, I miss her.”
Felix chuckled a little. “I’m sure that’s not all you miss her for.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You guys have been dating for a year, right?”
“Yeah?”
“So, I’m sure you guys have done stuff that you miss doing right now.”
“What, like kissing?”
“I’m sure guys have done more than that, right?” Jake piped up.
Sam narrowed his eyes at his friend. “What’s it matter if we have or haven’t?”
“…Seriously?”
“You’ve only kissed her, after a whole year?” Felix asked.
“Yeah? So what?”
“I’ve never been in a relationship, but… couples tend to do more than that in a year, don’t they?” Andy questioned.
“Mate, two teens who just met at a party do more than that.” Jake snorted. “I mean, really Sam, Mia’s not going to get pregnant if she just gives you a-“
Sam stood up and left the shack, walking off into the trees.
Felix turned his head as he watched the skater stomp away. “What was that?”
“I don’t know.” Andy answered. “Should we go after him?”
Jake got to his feet, dusting his legs off. “I’ve got him.”
***
Sam sat himself down on a large rock he had found and huffed. He didn’t get it, why would anyone be interested on what he and his girlfriend do or don’t do? What does it matter and why does everyone but Sam care so much about it?
“There you are.” Jake said, sitting down next to him. “What was that back there?”
“…I don’t get it, Jake.”
“Don’t get what?”
“Why everyone cares so much about whether or not I have sex.”
Jake laughed a little. “We’re teenagers, mate. We tend to think about that shit quite a bit.”
Sam frowned. “You do?”
“I mean, yeah.” Jake replied like it was the most normal thing in the world. “Don’t you?”
Sam said nothing, picking up a smaller rock on the ground and scraping it against the bigger rock he sat upon.
“Look, I’m sure that if you and Mia talk it out, you guys can come to some sort of agreement and go from there-“
“It’s not Mia who’s stopping anything.” Sam cut him off. “It’s me.”
Jake furrowed his brow in confusion. “…Wha- but… she’s your girlfriend.”
Sam rolled his eyes. “Yeah, Jake. I know she’s my girlfriend.” He replied sarcastically.
“Yet, you don’t want to have sex with her.”
Sam looked back down to his scraped rock scribbling. “…No, I don’t.”
“…Maybe you’re gay?”
“No… Well…” Sam had thought Felix was kinda cute after getting to know him a little, but it was pretty much the same way he felt when he became friends with Mia. “I still like girls though. I just… don’t want to have sex. …With anyone.”
“…Okay.”
Sam stopped fiddling with the rock in his hand and turned to Jake. “Okay?”
Jake nodded. “Yeah, I mean, I don’t get it but what matters is what you’re feeling.”
Sam didn’t know what to do with a reaction like that, he didn’t think it was a type of reaction he was ever going to get. He huffed and looked up at the sky, seeing the trees swaying with the wind. Like the earth and the air were one.
“Sam, are you- are you tearing up?”
“No.”
Jake let out a laugh. “Come here, you dork.” Wrapping his arm around the shorter boy’s shoulder, pulling him in for a hug.
He and Jake had always been fairly tactile people, but it was usually just taps on the back or shoulder or something, and when he thought about, he and Jake weren’t really friends before. It was more like Sam liked Jake while Jake just kind of …tolerated him.
But this, this was a moment of friendship.
***
A couple of months after everything with alternative universes and Negative Space, Sam and his new friends were able to sit down and have a breather. They had begun to have movie nights together, swapping between houses every week. While at Felix’s house, the boys had decided to watch some random movie that Felix had found floating around, so they could spend an hour and a half poking fun at it.
Sam actually didn’t mind the movie all that much. He liked all of the main characters and thought that they bounced off of each other really well.
But then a sex scene began.
“Oh come on!” Sam exclaimed, holding a bag of chips he was eating out of in front of his face, blocking his view of the TV.
“What’s the problem?” Andy asked. “I thought you were rooting for these two.”
“I am.” Sam sighed. “But it has nothing to do with the plot!”
“Neither did that carnival scene you liked so much.” Felix pointed out.
“But that was fun.”
“What, do you get squirmy at sex scenes, Sam?”
“Leave him alone, guys.” Jake butted in.
Felix continued. “Really? What’s so bad about it?”
“I get squirmy about sex in general, okay?!?”
Both Andy and Felix seemed confused.
“…So, you get uncomfortable about sex, a lot of people do.”
Sam sighed, putting down the bag of chips and drawing his knees up to his chest, closing himself off. “Sometimes I get uncomfortable by it, other times it just seems like it would be like a chore or something and sometimes I think about it and my stomach rolls around and I feel like I’m about to throw up.”
Felix sat down next to him. “Sorry, that I freaked you out.”
Sam leaned his head on Felix’s shoulder. “It’s okay. It’s your job to freak people out, Freak.”
Felix huffed out a laugh. “Yeah, but not like that though.”
“Sometimes, I think it’s part of the reason Mia broke up with me.”
Felix frowned. “I don’t believe that for a second, Mia’s is one of, if not the nicest person I’ve ever met.”
“Hey Sam, I’m pretty sure I’ve heard of something like what you described.” Andy said, pulling out his phone.
“Being mentally ill?”
Jake hit Sam up the side of the head. “You’re not mentally ill.” He thought about it for a moment. “Well, you might be, but not because of that.”
“Shut up.”
“Here we go!” Andy turned his phone towards his friends. “Asexuality. Lack of sexual attraction to others.”
Sam took the phone and read a bit of text under a picture of four stripes.
‘Asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction to others, or low or absent interest in or desire for sexual activity. It may be considered a sexual orientation or the lack thereof. It may also be categorized more widely to include a broad spectrum of asexual sub-identities.’
Sam looked up from the phone. “There’s… there’s a word for it?”
***
A little while after that night, Sam’s sixteenth birthday came up.
He had gotten some snapbacks from his brothers, a new sketchbook and art supplies from his parents, and a flag, striped with black, gray, white and purple from his friends.
“Sam, mate, don’t tell me you’re tearing up again!”
“What can I say, Jake?” Sam asked as he draped the flag around his shoulders like a cape. “This flag is pretty ace.”
“…Fuck off.”
***
When he was in Year 11, Sam was sixteen years old, he had three best friends, had been to a parallel universe, had control over the element of Air.
And he was Asexual.