Chapter Text
He did it, it was over. He had managed to survive, even though there were several ‘touch and go’ moments thrown in. But he was free.
Christmas Break had officially begun.
Lance threw open the front door with a zeal that would have Keith rolling his eyes and practically leapt into the house. He had a whole two weeks off work, and, aside from a few small get-togethers, he’d be able to spend some much needed quality time with his beloved boyfriend. That was the best Christmas present he could ask for.
Until he rounds the corner in the living room and sees Keith lying prone on the floor.
He barely hears the thud of his bag hitting the floor as he runs to Keith’s side, gathering him up into his arms.
“Keith? Keith love, please wake up! Keith?”
Lance searches desperately for a pulse, for a heartbeat, for anything.
He can’t find one.
Keith isn’t breathing, there’s no pulse.
Keithisntbreathing
Theresnopulse
“No, no no no no no no-” He’s sobbing and shaking and clinging to Keith as hard as he can, “Nononononono”
“LANCE!”
Lance surges upwards, blankets tangled around him, and careens right into Keith’s chest. Shaking, he presses a palm there and lets himself feel the steady beat of Keith’s heart.
“It’s okay,” Keith murmurs as Lance buries his face into Keith’s neck, pressing his nose right where his pulse is, “I’m here.”
It was a dream, Keith isn’t really dead, he’s here.
Lance has no idea how long he sits there, wrapped in Keith’s arms and just listening to him breathe. It takes several moments for the dream to fade, and when it does, he realizes that Keith is unusually tense.
“Keith?” He cracks an eye open only to be met with darkness. The night is dark outside their window, not even the moon to bring some light. Did he turn on the lamp? Lance is pretty sure he wouldn’t forget. Maybe the bulb burnt out.
“Hey,” He says, keeping his voice soft, “I’m going to turn on the bathroom light, okay?” He feels Keith nods against his shoulder, and then he’s gently disentangling himself. He has to physically restrain himself from gathering Keith into his arms again when he hears his terrified whimper as Lance pulls away. As quickly as he can, he throws open the door to the ensuite and flicks the light on, flooding the room with it’s bright glow.
His own nightmare forgotten, Lance returns to the bed and pulls Keith into his arms.
“Hey, it’s okay the lamp must have burnt out, I’ll put a new bulb in it in the morning. Maybe we can run to the store and get one of those ones that supposedly never burn out or maybe Pidge can make us something, they said that they were working on this self-sustaining energy thing and maybe it’ll work for light bulbs too and then-”
“Lance.” Keith gently pulls back from Lance’s arms, cutting off his tirade, “I’m fine.”
“But-”
“No buts.” Keith gently places a hand on Lance’s cheek, “Lights burn out, it happens. I’m gonna have to learn to deal with it sooner or later.”
This isn’t the first time they’ve had this conversation. Lance knows how Keith feels about the light. When they’d first started sharing a room, Keith had staunchly refused to leave a light on, claiming that he just needed to ‘get over it’ but it quickly became clear that that would not be the case. Only when Keith nearly collapsed from exhaustion did he allow Lance to leave a light on during the night. He’d grudgingly admitted that it made sleep much easier, even though he still complained about it being a weakness.
“I’m not afraid of the dark,” Keith continues, “I just-” He sighs, running his free hand through his hair.
“Keith, it’s okay to be frightened.” Lance replies, “Like Dr. Enudi said-”
“Dr. Enudi also said that I’m not supposed to run from the things I’m scared of, and leaving a lamp on every night feels a lot like running.” Lance can tell that Keith is getting frustrated, but he also knows that it’s not directed at him. Keith is frustrated with himself for not being as strong as he thinks he has to be.
“No.” Lance says firmly, “It isn’t. You’ve been getting better with it.” Keith opens his mouth to protest but Lance doesn’t give him a chance, “Just a few moments ago? You woke me up from a nightmare in the pitch black and held me until I calmed down again. A few months ago you wouldn’t have been able to do that. You would’ve woken up and immediately panicked.”
Keith opens his mouth, but hesitates. Lance waits patiently for him to sort out what he wants to say. Keith’s communication skills have improved vastly since their early days as Paladins, and Lance loves and appreciates that he takes time to really think about what to say.
“I…” Keith starts, “It’s different, because I knew that you were in distress and so all I could think about was you and helping you.”
Lance’s heart swells with gratitude and love for the man facing him, “It’s still progress.”
He can almost see the tension drain out of Keith’s body as he says, “Yeah, I guess it is.”
“Hey Lance I’m ho- what the freak why is it so cold in here?”
Lance pops his head around the corner and waves a mittened hand at Keith, “The heaters broken. I tried to fix it and I think I made it more broken. Hunk’s gonna be here soon.”
“Lance.” Keith levels him with an unimpressed stare.
“In my defense, I have fixed this heater before!” Keith raises an eyebrow, “I lived here alone for three years, remember?”
“And how many times have you fixed it?”
Lance grimaces and mutters a response.
Keith crosses his arms, “What was that?”
“Nothing! How was the meeting?” Lance steps forwards and sweeps Keith into his arms. He doesn’t miss how Keith slumps against him and fists his hands into the fabric of Lance’s jacket, or how Keith seems to be shaking slightly. It might be from the cold, but a hunch tells Lance that it isn’t.
“They’re going to free the slaves.” Keith mutters into his shoulder, “And I wanna go with them.”
Lance freezes, and he swears his heart stops, “Keith, babe, are you sure? It’s only been a few months and-”
Keith pulls back, but doesn’t leave the circle of Lance’s arms, “I’m sure. I need to do this Lance, I have to do this. I can’t just sit here and do nothing while- while the others are suffering.” His eyes are wide and sincere, but Lance can also see the fear there. He knows what this will mean for Keith. To free the other slaves might give him closure. It might help him overcome the nightmares that plague him every night.
“They might still be alive. The few that I knew.” Keith is saying, “We promised each other that if we ever got out, we’d try to rescue each other.”
“Keith, I don’t mean to be a downer here, but it’s been months . How can you be sure-”
“I was sent there to die.” Keith says bluntly, and Lance sucks in a breath. He knows this. He knows that the Galra woman wanted Keith dead, but hearing Keith say it out loud, hearing him acknowledge it in this way-
Lance doesn’t like it.
“The others were sent there to be slaves. It would be bad for business if their slaves die too quickly.” Keith’s face has twisted into something bitter, and Lance just wants to take it into his hands and kiss the scowl off it.
“Okay,” Lance says, “Okay. When do we leave?”
The bitter scowl melts off Keith’s face and the look he gives Lance is so soft and full of love. Not for the first time Lance wonders how he ever lived without it.
“I love you so much.” He mutters, and is rewarded by Keith’s face turning a brilliant shade of red. He loves that Keith still gets flustered, and secretly he hopes that it never stops.
Keith buries his face in Lance’s shoulder again with a muttered, “I love you too.”
“Let’s go cuddle!” Lance declares, which earns him a laugh from Keith.
“You just want me for my body heat.”
“Well duh, it’s freezing in here.”
Lance is instantly awake, his body attuned to noticing when Keith shifts. When his dreams shift into nightmares. Keith is curled around Lance, his face pressed between his shoulder blades and his hands fisting in Lance’s shirt. Lance can feel the tension in Keith’s body, and can feel the quickened pace of his breathing. Lance loves being the little spoon, but it’s difficult to comfort his nightmare-having boyfriend when he’s locked in Keith’s death grip goodness gracious he’s really going to suffocate me this time.
With great difficulty, Lance is able to pry Keith’s hands off his shirt and roll over. Keith’s face is scrunched up in agony and Lance desperately wishes he could take the nightmares away. He wishes he could shoulder all of Keith’s pain, but he has to settle for being here for him.
“Keith, baby,” He murmurs, gently gripping his shoulders and giving him a shake, “Wake up sweetheart, it’s okay.”
Keith’s eyes fly open, but instead of sinking in relief into Lance’s arms the way he usually does, he lets out a panicked squawk and scrabbles away and over the side of the bed. Before Lance can really register what’s happening, Keith is on his feet and stumbling out of their bedroom and down the hallway.
“K- Keith!” Lance calls, he tries to get up, but ends up tangled in blankets in his haste. He wastes precious seconds untangling himself, ones where he can hear Keith stumbling down the stairs. He frees himself from the blanket with an irritated growl and clambers to his feet. Downstairs he hears the door open. His panic multiplies and he picks up the pace, skipping several stairs on his way down. It’s the middle of the night in the middle of winter and Keith is clearly panicking, Lance can’t let him get too far. His socked feet skid on the floor and he grabs the door frame to stop his sliding and pulls himself outside. The cold air slams into him, leaving him slightly breathless, and he scans the yard, looking for his boyfriend.
“Rover, turn on the porch light!” He yells and he hears the soft ding of the computer Pidge had given them as the porch light turns on.
There!
Keith hadn’t made it far, he’s curled in the snow, knees pulled up to his chest and shaking. Lance has a suspicion it’s more from fear than the cold.
“Keith,” Lance approaches slowly. Keith raises his head, tears are streaming down his cheeks and he looks so small and scared.
“Hey,” Lance says softly, kneeling in front of him. He holds his hands out, but he doesn’t touch, not yet. The cold of the snow seeps through his sweatpants, but Lance hardly notices, he’s focused solely on Keith.
The nightmare must have been really bad for Keith to run like that. He hadn’t had a bad one like that in months, but Lance can still clearly remember the ones in the beginning where Keith would lash out and either fight or try to run. He’d wake up, still caught in the horrors of what he’d seen and sometimes Lance’s efforts to calm him down seemed futile. Keith would stare at him with unrecognizing eyes filled with terror. He used to recoil from Lance, as if he was scared Lance would hurt him.
He doesn’t recoil now.
Slowly, tentatively, Keith takes Lance’s hand.
Lance gently pulls him closer, tucks Keith’s head under his chin and holds him there.
“I’m here.” He whispers, “You’re safe.”
“I couldn’t save them.” Keith sobs, “I couldn’t save them, it was too late.”
Lance runs a soothing hand up and down Keith’s back, “You said they’d been there for two years right?”
He feels Keith nod.
“And that they’re a tough bunch?”
Another nod.
“Then they’re going to be just fine.”
“What if they hurt them, a-after I escaped?” Keith’s voice is laced with fear, but he’s not shaking as much.
“They wouldn’t.” Lance says, and he desperately hopes he’s right, “We’re going to shut down the slavers, and free everyone and everything will be okay. I promise.”
Keith sniffles, but he doesn’t say anything.
“Come on,” Lance says, pulling him gently to his feet, “It’s freezing out here, let’s go back inside.”
Keith looks at him, the porch lights casting his face in a soft golden glow. Lance is still blown away by how much love is in Keith’s eyes, just for him. Keith leans forwards and presses a soft kiss to Lance’s lips.
“Thank you.” He says, “I love you so much.”
“I love you too.”
Krolia goes over the plan, and Lance is blown away once again by how simple it seems. If they showed up gun ablaze, the Galra running the mine wouldn’t hesitate to blow it up without a single thought for the lives of the slaves inside. So instead of risking that, the Blade has been sneaking in operatives for the past several months, using their status as Galra to overtake the sentries and take their place. At this point, over half the sentries are Blade operatives and they’ve been slowly disarming the shock collars around the slaves necks. The plan is to sneak a few last minute people in, then start an uprising among the slaves. They can easily overtake the remaining sentries and have the slaves freed in no time.
Lance and Keith don’t really have to go, but Keith is insisting. And if Keith goes, Lance is going too. Lance will follow Keith to the ends of the universe, and he knows Keith will do the same. They’ve been dating for a relatively short amount of time, but Lance knows that this is it. He wants to spend the rest of his life by Keith’s side.
They’re loaded onto a blade ship and ready to head off into space again when Lance suggests they try to sleep. Nightmares had kept the both of them up the night before, and Lance wants Keith to be properly rested. It only takes a little bit of nudging to get Keith to stop looking over the plans (again), which is a testament to how tired he is.
“A short nap.” He says, standing. Exhaustion is written in every line of his body and Lance doesn’t like it. He can’t imagine how it must feel for Keith to willingly walk back into that place. Lance has enough reservations about it, and he was only there for a couple of hours, tops. Every time he closes his eyes he can practically see the room and Keith in laying on the ground. He can still feel what it was like to hold Keith’s limp form in his arm, the life gone from his eyes-
Lance inhales shakily, and yanks Keith into a hug. The real Keith that’s here with him right now. The living Keith. Keith returns the hug, sinking into his embrace. For a long moment, they just stand there, holding on to each other. When Lance has banished all thoughts of Keith dying from his mind, he pulls away.
“Okay, nap time.”
Keith chews on his lip, “I don’t know Lance, I don’t know if I’ll be able to sleep.”
“You can at least rest though.” Lance replies, “We both can.”
Keith still looks hesitant, so Lance decides it’s time to bargain. He places his hands on Keith’s shoulders and levels him with the most serious stare he can muster.
“You can be the little spoon.”
Keith snorts, and Lance has to fight to keep his face deadly serious.