Archive of Our Own

Playlist AU

Jimin wakes up when he heard Holly’s bark outside the bedroom door. He rubs his bleary eyes and the first sight he gets is Yoongi still sleeping beside him barely stir even after Holly’s bark is deafening enough, Yoongi is heavy sleeper only when he got a deadline to be done, Jimin knows his boyfriend just slept at this dawn because Jimin is a light sleeper and he always notices when Yoongi crawling to the bed and spooning him from behind even his boyfriend tried to do it slowly. He just knows.

Jimin carefully gets off from the bed, even he knows he won’t accidentally wake up his boyfriend this time, but apparently it becomes his habit. He opens the door to let Holly run before jumping to the bed, snuggle in the space between his side and Yoongi’s. he shakes his head with a smile when sees his two favourite creature on his bed. Jimin heading to the kitchen, he tiptoes because it’s cold, even the floor is freezing. He checks the heater, and it doesn’t work again; they use district heater where they’ll share with the entire building and Yoongi had been making complaints to the landlord couple of times but they said they’ll check it but nothing happened until summer came and they forgot about their heater until now autumn comes again just a few weeks before winter and Jimin almost can’t imagine they’ll be freezes to death. Jimin just shrugs at the thought, they can talk to the landlord again this afternoon besides he still has Yoongi to be cuddled with. They’ve been through something worse than this, it’ll be alright.

Jimin turns on the coffeemaker and puts the bread on the toaster, fried the egg and bacon while waiting, it’s his routine and he loves it. It mostly Yoongi to makes them breakfast because he’s the morning person between them but when Yoongi’s deadline getting closer and he starts to locking himself on his studio, loses track of times even sleeps in his swivel chair they’ll switch the role same with Yoongi when Jimin has a lot of works to be done. And Jimin loves it, how the dynamic between them, how easy to be considerate to each other with no burden feeling, they did that without expecting to be treated the same way with the other and they would naturally feel owed with the other after receiving good treatment. They take and give each other equally. Maybe that’s why they’ve been together with such a long time.

After putting their breakfast on the table and pours Holly breakfast on his bowl, Jimin back to the bed and get inside the thick blanket, circling his hand to Yoongi’s torso and starts to papering soft kisses on his nape

“Jesus Jimin your feet are freezing” Yoongi groans, Jimin knows he would be annoyed if Jimin puts his cold feet on Yoongi’s but it’s the most effective way to wake him up

“Breakfast is ready, sleepy head” Jimin murmurs on his nape, inhaling pine scent from Yoongi’s pyjama. His boyfriend has a weird obsession of pine scent, Jimin always thought it started when they went to the pine forest back in the uni and now almost everything about him is smells like pine, their scented candle in the room, their fabric fragrance, even the air freshener in their car. Yoongi said it was calming, and Jimin learns to love that as well.

“can I skip?” Yoongi asking for approval

“then you’ll break my heart because I put 4 slices of bacon on your plate” Jimin mumbles and Yoongi squirms turn his body to face Jimin and pulls closer him by his waist

“isn’t it too early to be too sweet?” Yoongi leaves soft peck before trying to open his eyes.

Jimin scoot closer and buries his face to Yoongi’s chest “I miss you”

Jimin can feel Yoongi chuckles from the way his body shakes “I’m sorry baby, the deadline sucks. I’ll make up to you this weekend, yeah? What do you want?”

Jimin inhales deeply before he answers, “a date would be nice”

Jimin can feel a soft kiss on the top of his head and how Yoongi’s chest deflates from inhaling “a sweet date for my sweet baby then”

“gross” Jimin snorts while pulls up just to see his face, Yoongi looks at him with him fondly as usual, and Jimin sometimes can’t understand how that fond eyes never be faded for years, Yoongi always looks at him with the same fondness and Jimin can’t help but think that those eyes that welcome him every morning before his starts the day are the reason at some point make his life somehow easier when the world becomes harsher because at the end of the day people could be luckier than him but they don’t have Yoongi in their life. “anyway, I’ve written the lyric with the melody you sent me”

“really?” Yoongi mumbles in his forehead after kissing him there—oh god Jimin can stay like this forever

Jimin closes his eyes “but only 2 verse tho, it’s harder than I thought”

Yoongi hums understand “it’s never easy but I’m sure you’re doing great”

“How can a professional producer say such a bias thing like that, you do not even hear my lyric yet,” Jimin protest with a pout that Yoongi needs to kisses that away

“I know you for years baby, I always love the way you think and your point in view about something, how you put it in beautiful words and metaphor, that’s the reason I ask you to write the lyrics for our song anyway,” Yoongi explains, his hand keeps busy playing with Jimin’s hair

They’ve been working with their song where Yoongi made the beat and melody and Jimin writes the lyric and they’ll sing together. It was Jimin who suggested first when he helped Yoongi to sing for the guide couple of times but he always sang someone else’s story and Jimin thinks to make music with Yoongi about their story would be an amazing experience, they’ll capture their memory in the song just like how the picture did but with music, it’ll bring more emotions, with the melodies and the lyrics and the process behind it with their efforts that their pour together into a complete song. Jimin can’t think of any more romantic idea rather than making music with Yoongi because music is something that both of them love like they love each other.

“well, that perks dating a literature graduate I guess” Jimin gives him a smug smile that makes Yoongi needs to pinch his cheek

“yeah? I need a prove then, now let me hear the lyric then,” Yoongi raises his eyebrow challenging him.

Jimin clears his throat while hiding on Yoongi’s neck. Yoongi can be really intense sometimes especially when they talk about the music he can be really passionate and dedicated, sometimes it’s scary and weird but after years knowing him, Jimin learns it just his thing, Yoongi is a passionate lover, he would love fiercely, like how he loves him, like how he loves his music.

Yoongi starts humming the melody he made softly, patting his hand gently to Jimin’s back. It soft with slow pace melody like what Jimin requested, with Yoongi’s hums he can hear the original melody in his head, it starts with a guitar for the intro and when the piano comes, it’s a cue for him to start singing.

“what are we in this world?

You’re my world, my universe

What are we in this whole world?

Even we just each other’s coincidental, I hope my whole life is forever coincidental”

Jimin pausing gives space to Yoongi humming before he starts singing for the second verse with a little higher pitch

“What if the world hates us?

Like the leaves that fall in autumn ,

 Drift apart from the tree they loved

Will you still love me the same?”

Jimin lifts his face to gives a shy smile to his boyfriend, that’s all he can write in meantime. Yoongi tilts his face while stroking his jaw gently leaving a sweet kiss on his lips “that’s beautiful sunshine”

Yoongi walks to the kitchen and Jimin keeps complaining that their breakfast has a cold already because they’re spending too long on the bad and Jimin finally has to reheat the coffee. Yoongi hugs him from behind, resting his chin to Jimin’s shoulder.

“It is just me or we living inside the igloo?” Yoongi asks on Jimin’s ears, makes him giggling at the tickle sensation.

“it seems like we have to bang the landlord’s door again” Jimin gives him an apologetic smile before taking their coffee to the dining table

Yoongi follows him from behind “don’t worry I’ll take care of that, I’ll blackmail him with we won’t pay for next month if he’s not fixing it this week”

Jimin pours the coffee to their mugs, the black one with a cat gives it middle finger on it for Yoongi and the yellow one with little chick print for Jimin “I’ll convince our neighbours to initiate the complaint as well” Jimin winks

“of course my partner in crime, I rely on you,” Yoongi laughs

Their apartment isn’t the best one, the heater is suck and strangely it always in autumn or winter, if that happened they’ll just wrap themselves in a big cocoon of thick blanket, luckily they got an electric bed heater from Taehyung and Jungkook as Christmas gift. Actually, both Jimin and Yoongi never consider that as big deal, sure it’s cold and sometimes made them awake in the middle of the night but they also thought it was funny, they would laugh with each other when they had to fight over the blanket, or when they would tiptoe around the house while cursing because of the floor as cold as the iceberg, or when they would scream from the bathroom when suddenly the water turns out to be ice water. It always nice to laugh about something that should upset them, then again it seems like they make each other’s life easier.

They live in not too big flat, with only one bedroom, a living room that connects to the kitchen, a bathroom with shower inside, and a small balcony when Jimin and Yoongi raise their plants together. It was their humble abode that they cherish in every inch of that. They had been through worse than that, small apartment with only one room for everything and the ceiling would leak when it was raining they had to put buckets in every corner in the room to hold the water, their first place when they came to Seoul, the silent witness of their struggle, and when Yoongi finally hired by music label and Jimin works as a permanent teacher in high school, they moved to their current apartment. Jimin loves every process, same as Yoongi who made a song about the day they moved when they lift every box with the memory inside, leaving the warm place that used to hold their laughter and tears but becomes too cramped for their bigger dream. Jimin always gets teary eyes when he hears that song.

“what will you do today?” Yoongi asks as he eats his bacon.

“I’ll at school. Today I have 3 classes and all of them are senior students” Jimin groans. Senior students definitely not his favourite they like to joke around and a lot of pressure because he has to prepare them for the university entrance test.

“is Dong Gu still teases you about the day I picked you up last week?” Yoongi chuckles, smearing butter to his cold toast.

“Sometimes, when he met me in lunch break, he’ll demonstrate the scene in goblin when Gong Yoo and go eun in the same umbrella. I mean, did we really look like that? Isn’t that too dramatic to be compared with goblin scene, kids this day,” Jimin shakes his head in disbelief.

“well, I mean that was quite dramatic, you run to me as soon as you saw me I almost stumbled behind, everyone who saw us would think we’re two main characters in drama”

Jimin sighs embarrass “I thought everyone already left, and I was too excited when I saw you”

Yoongi ruffles his hair “that was cute, don’t worry, they’ll forget that soon. Didn’t we also used to tease our teacher? Remember when we caught Kim ssaem gave flowers to Yoon Ssaem?”

Jimin laughs with that “oh yeah! Taehyung kept asking for flowers too to Kim Ssaem when he got perfect score it was hilarious”

Yoongi chuckles “and he ended up gave him Taehyung wild daisy from the park so he stopped teasing him”

When their laugh dies down Jimin informs “speaking about Tae, he asked me to eat lunch with him and Kookie at burger café “

Yoongi gets up and cleans the table “the usual burger café? Tae and Kook don’t work today?”

Jimin helps him dry the plate “yeah the usual one, they take a break now because they’ll shoot at Christmas”

“that suck” Yoongi comments

Jimin hums “how about you? What will you do today?”

“just lock myself in the studio as usual. They advance the debut date before Christmas so I’ve to finish their debut song sooner,” Yoongi informs, and Jimin’s heart clenches when he notices black circles underneath his eyes.

“with Namjoon hyung?” Jimin asks.

“I think he wasn’t going home last night, Jin Hyung texted me, ”

After he puts the last plate on the shelf, Jimin scoots closer and snuggling to Yoongi’s chest “are you going home tonight?”

Yoongi rests his hands on Jimin’s waist “do you want me to?”

“it’s too cold to sleep alone,” Jimin whines

Yoongi chuckles after leaving a peck on his temple “I’ll sleep at home but maybe a bit late, you can sleep first”

Jimin pouts but he doesn’t argue further “fine, I’ll stop by at your studio after work for a while to bring you dinner”

“you don’t need to sunshine, just rest at home it’ll colder at night,” Yoongi murmurs on his neck

Jimin rubs Yoongi’s back softly “you won’t eat anything if you work at night, you lose track of times as soon as you sit on your studio chair. Just wait for me I’ll bring your bulgogi from your favourite restaurant”

“What did I do in my past life to deserve you,” he purrs

Jimin pulls to sees his boyfriend’s face “believe me, I also ask the same thing”

“Good morning park Ssaem” a huddle of student passing over him in front of the school gate. They look cheerful and excited, different from his student’s sour face under the heat of summer or their gloomy expression in winter. Maybe he wasn’t the only one who liked autumn.

“oh good morning” Jimin waves his hand as he walks through the school’s parking lot. He tightens his favourite burgundy coat as the crisp and cool weather welcomes him. The side of the street flames with red, orange and yellow from the changed colours leaves, some of it scattered over the street covering the street as he walks on the royal carpet, he always loves autumn when the sun has lost its intensity, he can step out without fear of burning and the cold not too overwhelming when it was winter. It’s just perfect, the air as sweet as ripe pumpkin, the breeze chill just perfect like the blast he gets when open the refrigerator’s door, the colours palette that presenting in front of his eyes contrast with the greyish of the cloud. The autumn comes as a gospel choir, harmonised in such a way that celebrates each hue and shows how they belong together.

“Attention!” the class president orders the class “stand up!” and everyone standing up as he told, “greets!”

“Good Morning Park ssaem!” everyone sings a song cheerfully

Jimin can’t help but smile too “Good morning everyone” Jimin never dreamt to be a teacher, a literature teacher precisely, he used to want to be a dancer, following Yoongi to an art major, pursued a carrier in the thing he likes. But his parent told him he can’t eat and live from that and he believed. Yoongi told him to choose whatever makes him happy and by granted what his parent hopes for him also can make him happy, because Jimin is the person who’ll be happy when people he loves are happy too. Jimin doesn’t regret it, in fact, he starts to love teaching, seeing his student’s smile, helped their concern and watching them achieve their dream that Jimin used to have, makes his heart combust with happiness, maybe someone really can fall in love with the process.

“Today we’ll learn about the poem, is anyone ever make a poem?” Jimin asks after writing on the blackboard

Everyone buzzes around like bees “Sangkyun ssaem! He wrote a poem for Yuna” Yubin who sits beside Yuna informs Jimin and everyone laughs.

Is that right, Sangkyun?” Jimin asks the boy who blushing in the second row.

“he wrote ‘Rose is red, sky is blue, Yuna I love you’” Min seok who sits beside the blushing boy teases him and the class filled up with laughter

“Hey, it’s creative tho, I mean he got the rhyme,’ Jimin encouraging Sangkyun, and the boy smiles in relieved “there’s a certain poem that I love, this one by Pablo Neruda. Called ‘One Hundred Love Sonnets’ let me read for you, write this just in case you want to woo your lover” Jimin winks.

Everyone goes silent as Jimin clears his throat. He wrote this certain poem for his 4th anniversary with Yoongi; he slipped the letter inside his gift for him and Yoongi got teary-eyed because of that, Jimin smiles to the memory.

“I don’t love you as if you were a rose of salt, topaz,

or arrow of carnations that propagate fire:

I love you as one loves certain obscure things.

secretly, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that doesn’t bloom but carries

the light of those flowers, hidden within itself.

and thanks to your love, the tight aroma that arose

from the earth lives dimly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where,

I love you directly without problems or pride:

I love you like this because I don’t know any other way to love,

except in this form in which I am not, nor are you,

so close that your hand upon my chest is mine,

so close that your eyes close with my dreams.”

As soon as Jimin finishes, the class still in silence as the kids still processing the words that Jimin said, “how’s that? Beautiful, isn’t it?”

“yes ssaem” everyone says in union

“That poem is about loving someone unconditionally, pay attention to the metaphors he used ‘I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where’ means he was going to tell about loving someone without knowing the reason behind it, or with no logical explanation it was certain and something undebatable. If you’re going to write your own poem, you also can use nature as a metaphor like ‘I love you like the leaves loving the wind that tears them away from the tree they belong’. The meaning is same, unconditional love”

“like a SoulMate ssaem?” a girl who sits in front of his desk asks

Jimin is taken aback, but he smiles “yeah something like that”

It’s been a while since heard that word ‘soulmate’. Jimin hopes the word nothing more than just a word, he hopes the word as taboo as ghost or fairytale, he hopes he won’t believe at anything about ‘SoulMate’ in fact he hopes it never existed because-

“Ssaem tells me about your SoulMate find, how’s it feels like when you met your boyfriend?” Dong Gu who usually teases him with Yoongi seems genuinely interested.

Jimin hopes he never meets his Soulmate because—yoongi isn’t his Soulmate. He knew from the first time they met, same with Yoongi. Both of them very well aware. when Yoongi enters the classroom as a transfer student from Daegu, when is feline sharp eyes stares at Jimin’s for the first time, and when the boy sat in front of him for the entire semester, there’s nothing weird symptoms that their teacher usually explained about meeting a soulmate, the dizziness, the suffocating feeling, the rise of body temperature, the warm feeling in the pit of the stomach, the rapid heartbeat. None of that. Not at the first. But as times go by, the feeling grows between them and the symptoms of soulmate appeared one by one; the rapid heartbeat when they hold each other hand, the warm feeling when they’re hugging or the dizziness when they’re kissing. And with that Jimin knows he doesn’t need his Soulmate, Yoongi is the only one he needs, he’s enough. But like the unspoken word between them, they’re aware their soulmate still out there searching for them while both of them keep running away from their fate, building their own happy ending while cursing to the kismet that trying to separate them. Jimin wants to hate whoever responsible with that, whoever who made Yoongi isn’t his soulmate, whoever paired him with a soulmate he doesn’t love, but he doesn’t know who to blame and that fact makes him angrier.

Jimin smiles “it’s hard to explain, but when you meet the one you’ll know they’re the one” he looks at his students who seem to anticipate him to continue. They’re young and naïve the topic of Soulmate always be their favourite. But not for Jimin “Your homework is to examine the other metaphors form that poem and explain the implied meaning behind it, I’ll check it next week” and with that everyone whine in protest as the class dismissed.

 Jiminie: Guys, I’m sorry suddenly I’m not feeling well

Jiminie: can we meet for lunch tomorrow instead?

Taebear: is everything alright?

Kookie: You want us to come to café in front of your school, hyung?

Jiminie: Nah, I’m fine, don’t worry

Jiminie: only flu symptoms, I guess. Change of season, you know.

Taebear: I told you to a wear warm coat and scarf

Kookie: drink some citrus tea with honey, it’ll help. Get well soon hyung <3

Taebear: just take a rest for tomorrow chim, I’ll come over for your favourite soup

Jiminie: I will Tae don’t worry and please just buy the soup don’t burn your kitchen >_<

Jiminie: thanks kookie, I’ll try that

Jiminie: I love you both <3

Jimin feels something uneasy swirling in his stomach so he will just eat lunch alone around the school. His co-workers offered to eat lunch together, but Jimin wants to be alone. It’s unusual for him because Jimin likes socialise with people and hang out with them, but suddenly he’s not in the mood to be crowded by people. He finds himself walking alone in the curb; he has no idea what he’s going to eat for lunch, actually; he doesn’t feel hungry at all, he just wants to stroll around, the school feels suffocating. When he looks around, there’s a certain store that catches his attention, it’s a bookstore with vintage style at the outside. Jimin doesn’t remember there’s a bookstore around the school. He looks inside through the glass wall, it looks cosy inside with the warm yellow light, the interior also seems unique reminds him with classic bookshop in ‘Notting Hill’ movie he watched. He checks his watch on his wrist, he has 30 minutes before the end of lunch and it seems the idea of picks some book more appealing rather than shoving food in his mouth while he’s not hungry.

As he expected the bookshop is cosy and warm, he loves the interior and the scent it’s calming. He walks through the mystery genre aisle searching for Agatha Christie’s series he hasn’t read yet. He’s about to pick one when he feels his phone buzzes.

Yoonie <3: Namjoon spills the lunch over the table and almost drench the music sheet T.T

Yoonie <3: [image atteched]

Minnie: oh no! is your lunch is safe?

Yoonie <3: luckily my lunch is waterproof  (￣ω￣)

Yoonie <3: what you have for lunch?

Minnie: [image attached]

Minnie: something thick, white and smells good (º﹃º )

Yoonie <3: I thought it was me lol (╯°▽°)╯ ┻━┻

Yoonie <3: I don’t know you start an eating paper for lunch babe

Minnie: I save you for tonight dessert Yoonie (/ε＼*)

Minnie: I’m not hungry Yoon, I’ll just eat sandwich later at the office

Yoonie <3: I looking forward to that

Yoonie <3: just make sure to eat something, yeah?

Minnie: don’t worry Yoonie, let’s eat dinner together, wait for me at your studio around 8 pm

Minnie: I love you (•ө•)♡

“Hello, is there any specific book you search for? Maybe I can help” a voice from the behind bringing him back from grinning like a fool at his phone. Jimin turns on his heel.

“oh I- “a young man with brunette hair, golden skin, big innocence eyes with a shade of light brown, plumper lips than Yoongi’s its glossy and has a colour like cherry blossom and big stunning smiles standing in front of him. Jimin stares longer than it should be, and he’s doing that between conscious and unconscious. He wears a shirt over a turtleneck and the name tag with bookshop’s logo on it catches his eyes ‘Taemin’

It’s weird, he can’t stop staring. He’s sure he looks like a creep dumb who staring with slacked-jaw. But he can’t help himself, it feels like the time has stopped, the clockwise doesn’t move, and the world stop rotating. The hazel eyes in front of him swallow him, drained his soul as his knee suddenly goes weak, a warmness creeps to his cheeks, and his surrounding spinning as the scent of vanilla and cinnamon catches his nose makes him dizzy. Jimin confused with himself, what the hell wrong with him.

The brunette hair boy also stares at him with the same wide eyes until Jimin can see his dumb face on the reflection, his pupils dilated, and his cheeks flushed. He opens his mouth but nothing comes out from that, he just gasping like a fish being pulled out from the water. He clutches his shirt on his chest.

This is ridiculous, Jimin feels his heart hammering under his ribcage, too fast until it’s hard for breath. His legs push him to come closer and standing with his toe to kisses that lip but Jimin’s logic trying to fight the urge so Jimin staggering backwards without he realises. He’s freaked out. The symptoms are clear, precise with the textbook he read, exactly the same with his mother describe when he was a child. This can’t be! How can after 27 his Soulmate just appeared out of nowhere, this is unfair? He should never have appeared, he can’t have appeared.

The boy trying to reach his hand and when their skin touch it feels like a jolt of electricity strikes him; it burns him. Jimin scared. He has been running away from whoever his Soulmate is, praying every morning to not meeting one of them. And now when his Soulmate standing in front of him sucks him to his world, leaving all feeling he had build with Yoongi together. He can’t

“Are you- “The boy finally can say something after a while

Jimin shakes his head eagerly, a prickling of tears stream down on his cheeks, he fends off the hand that trying catches him “I’m not” he hisses before runs away from the bookshop leaving the man behind him with a dejected face. Jimin understand, what his name?... ah Taemin also has no clue what the hell happened, he expected meeting his soulmate would be like a big parade, they’ll be kissing right away while crying, hugs him and spinning his body on his embrace or everything that usually describe in cheap opera drama they often watched about Soulmate find. He can’t blame him, that the ideal fantasy everyone dreams of meeting his Soulmate is part of their life goals. But for Jimin, it is the darkest nightmare he always afraid of because he refuses his fate to love someone else beside Yoongi.

Jimin stares Taehyung penthouse blankly after he called his co-workers and lying for said he got an accident and need rest at home, luckily he only has 1 class left. But he can’t bring himself back home, he can’t be alone, this is too overwhelming. He presses the bell two times; he forgot to ask Tae is he at home but luckily soon after that the door open

“Chim what- “Taehyung looks at him worried, but Jimin cuts him by throwing his body at his best friend. Taehyung knows his concern for years, and he never did something except supporting every decision he made. Taehyung only hugs him without needing any explanation as he pats Jimin’s back and reminding him to breathe.

Jimin sits on the couch with Taehyung’s hand squeezes him gently, he can hear Jungkook on the kitchen makes some citrus tea that the aroma fills the air. He fishes his phone from his pocket to check if there’s something from his co-workers, but instead; he got another notification.

Yoonie <3: I love you too, you know that, right?

Jimin feels sick, a tighten feeling crushed his heart, he finds himself hard to swallow like there’s a big lump in his throat. Hot tears blurred his vision. It’s hurt like being stabbed by a hot iron. Yoongi doesn’t deserve this, he feels sick with himself for letting himself swooning for a while by another man. Jimin feels disgusted, Yoongi is too good for this. A knot on his stomach tightens and Jimin runs to the bathroom to empty his stomach even he’s not eating anything.

“it’s alright, everything is going to be alright” Taehyung whispers in his ears but Jimin barely heard anything. He only heard his sobs.

“I’m afraid Tae, I can’t leave him! I can’t! I can’t love anyone else! It always us, it only us against the world how can I betrayed him”

Taehyung hugs him on the cold bathroom floor, he hugs him tightly like he can lose him anytime soon “you are not betrayed him chim, you can’t control this, you don’t know you would meet your Soulmate there, it’s not your fault”

Jimin grabs his best friend for dear life as he can feel Jungkook pats his back “I almost threw myself to him, I- I almost kissed him Tae. I kissed no one except Yoongi, I kissed him after dating him for 6 months, he had been patient and waited for me and I just wanted to kiss someone I just met. This is so unfair Tae” Jimin feels he’s drooling and snorting on Taehyung’s shirt, the ache in his heart is unbearable. The memories of him and Yoongi after dating him for almost 10 years flash like old movie their first date at a crappy burger joint, their first movie at the old theatre, their first hug at school basketball field, their first kisses on sunset at Busan beach, Yoongi is nothing but good for him, he’s patient to do everything on Jimin’s pace, Yoongi is Jimin’s first at everything same with Yoongi, they learn everything together, build their feeling from the scratch, one by one, pieces by pieces. And suddenly someone he just met wants to take it away, it’s not fucking fair!

“if I- if I agreed to eat lunch with you I wouldn’t meet him, this is won’t happen. I’m so stupid! I should know the moment when I suddenly wanted to enter that damn bookshop, I should know when my gut told me to open the fucking door. I’ve been doing great this years Tae, I’ve been doing great for avoiding, but why? Just because of that fucking minor mistake, I ruin everything! I ruin everything we’ve been fighting for!” Jimin screams, he mad to himself, how can he’s been so reckless. How can he face Yoongi after everything that happened, after everything he had done? Jimin screams until his voice hoarse, Taehyung only pressed his chest on Jimin’s face, stroking his hair gently, let him release his rage.

Jimin doesn’t know how long he has been crying on the bathroom floor, his face numb and he feels boneless. Taehyung’s grips still tight against his, he can feel wetness on his left shoulder probably from Taehyung’s tears, Jungkook still sits beside them warping his long arms to both of us as he seems to fall asleep on Tae’s shoulder, he feels grateful for his best friends who never leave him behind and the thought of him probably will leave Yoongi makes his heartache again “why the fate hate us that much Tae? What we have done for deserves this?” he whispers before everything goes black.

Jimin wakes up with something warm on his cheek, he opens his eyes slowly wincing with the string light at Taehyung’s bedroom, a calming pine scent he does not realise he has been missing suddenly fills his lung

“Yoonie?” Jimin’s voice comes hoarse like a broken engine

“I’m here sunshine” he whispers, his warm smile welcome him with the fondness on his eyes makes Jimin melt instantly

“What time is it?” Jimin mumbles trying to get up. He can feel his eyes bloated as he can’t open it properly.

“Around 9. How do you feel sunshine?”

Jimin jolted awake “oh god, I forgot, the dinner! Oh god I’m so sorry Yoon I- “the guilt washes over him like a bucket of cold water. After what happened today to him, he met his Soulmate just less for 10 minutes and he already forgot about Yoongi.

“Hey Jimin-ah, look at me, sweetheart. It’s alright, yeah? We can eat dinner together it doesn’t matter. How do you feel now? Tae called me he said you’re sick and threw up,” Yoongi hugs him gently and Jimin inhales deeply savouring the relaxing pine scent.

He strangely feels relieve when he knows Tae didn’t tell him the whole story but at the same time the idea of hiding that makes Jimin wants to throw up again, he knows he should tell him sooner or later because he can’t live hiding this from Yoongi. But he’s not ready yet, he’s not ready to hurt him, he never ready for that.

Yoongi draws a circle on the apple of his cheek calming him “you want to see the doctor?” he asks

Jimin shakes his head weakly “I just want to go home and eat dinner with you… but your work?”

Yoongi smiles at him, showing his gummy sweetly. He has always been sweet and Jimin knows he doesn’t deserve that, it makes him feel more guilty “works can wait, sweetheart, c’mon I’ll cook for you. You think you can walk, sunshine?”

Jimin nods, and Yoongi helps him to walk. They take a cab after thanking Taehyung and Jungkook for everything.

he’ll call them later, he promises

During the cab, they don’t talk about anything, only comfortable silence hovering around them. Jimin just simply rests his head on Yoongi’s shoulder let the man grabs his palm intertwining their fingers. Jimin can tell Yoongi feels something off from him, his boyfriend can read him like an open book. But he appreciates Yoongi doesn’t push him because Jimin still doesn’t have the gut to tell the older.

“you want to take a shower first?” Yoongi asks gently as soon as they arrived “I’ve been banging landlord’s flat today, I’m sure the water is warm now” Yoongi informs him and Jimin can’t help to smiling and mouthing ‘thank you’ before leans to peck his lips.

A delicious smell of bulgogi welcomes him as Jimin opens the bathroom’s door. He walks approaching the kitchen counter as he sees Yoongi busying himself behind the stove. Jimin sits silently on the dining table, stares to Yoongi’s back, his thought floating suddenly thinking about the hazel eyes he met at a bookshop. Is he also good at cooking? Is he sweet like Yoongi?. Jimin shakes his head immediately, he shouldn’t think about another man when he’s with Yoongi, this isn’t right.

“here you go, your favourite bulgogi” Yoongi sing a song cheerfully, Jimin knows he tries because Yoongi he knows usually grumpy in deadline period let alone he didn’t get enough sleep last night and for that Jimin’s heart feels warm

“it’s your favourite” Jimin says help him with arranging the table

“I like it because you love it, sunshine. Now c’mon dig in” he gives the chopstick to Jimin. Jimin tastes it and smiles instantly, Yoongi knows to put a lot of pepper because Jimin likes the spice of it. It tastes delicious, it tastes like home.

Yoongi strangely talkative now and then, he keeps telling Jimin about his day, how’s the CEO listened to his song, about when he started recording with the trainee how’s he scolded Namjoon this lunch. Jimin hears to him attentively, once again he knows Yoongi is trying. He’s trying to brighten the mood hopefully can make Jimin feels better and Jimin also tries to reassure him he’s alright by keeping laughing when Yoongi told him something funny or nodding with every word Yoongi said. Jimin wants to be like this forever, they’ve been living happily in their small bubble. Ignoring people’s prejudice who asked them why they don’t look like a Soulmate brushed off the harsh words from people who keep telling them; ‘you just wasting your time’, ‘you just hurting each other’. It doesn’t matter for them. Not when they love each other, and that’s all they needed to keep fighting against the world. They need nothing else, not even blessed by their parents. They left everything behind to be together.

His mother always told him that heaven will kick him out, the gods will curse him for playing tricks on them. But once again, what the point of ends up in heaven while he has to be miserable in his entire lifetime.

“Yoongi” Jimin calls while playing with lettuce on his plate

“hm?”

“I guess I have another lyric for our song,” Jimin says softly

“yeah? Can I hear them?” Yoongi asks.

Jimin nods and Yoongi starts to humming the melodies of their songs and Jimin starts singing until the second verses with the lyrics he made this morning and when they about to enter the chorus Jimin sings the lyric he just made

“How can I even love another heart?

When you’re the one I love

I can’t give up on us even after heaven curse us

How I supposed to live if you being ripped from me”

Jimin takes a sharp breath, trying to resist the urge of tears to stream down. He sings again with the higher note.

“Darling, what we’ve done to deserve this?

Even if ‘I love you’ for us same with drink the poison

Then I’ll drink it over and over again

Because losing you more painful than the death itself”

The silence following, Jimin stops singing. They stare at each other for a while and Jimin trying to remain his smile. Yoongi stares with an unreadable face, his pupils shaken. He bites his lower lips with an unsteady breath. He stands abruptly before turns his heel to walk to the refrigerator behind him.

“ah I forgot the beer” he mumbles, Jimin knows he never drinks in a workday but he says nothing

Yoongi opens the refrigerator and stares on the inside longer than it should be, he pretends to rummage everything inside searching for the beer while Jimin can see the can from where he sits. Jimin notices Yoongi’s shoulder slightly trembled but Jimin can’t bring himself to do anything or say anything, he’s too busy wiping his own tears.

Yoongi back to his chair without a beer in his hand, but Jimin once again doesn’t say anything except give him a smile. Yoongi also smiling to him with red-rimmed eyes, he settles down to his backrest and sighing.

“I almost forgot to tell you this baby, I had checked our share account-“ ah right, they’ve their account to save money together. They put some of their paychecks there. Jimin suggested it first because he didn’t want Yoongi to bears all their financial responsibilities. He can use it for their happiness purposes, new flat, maybe a car, or for Holliday. But recently they agreed to save for a trip to France. Since the same gender married not allowed yet in Korea so they’ve been planning to do it in France. Sure, it’s not like in the cliché movie where one of them will hold a fancy dinner with their friends and suddenly they’ll pull out the box ring while kneeling down and ask ‘will you marry me’. But for Jimin this is more romantic than that, both of them working tooth and nail to pursue their dream together and if there’s someone who should be proud of their relationship, this far it would be none other than two of them “if I put few more from my paycheck after the debut song releases I guess we can fly to Paris for this Christmas” Yoongi grins happily, he must have wanted to tell Jimin earlier if there’s nothing happened.

This is big news, they’ve been saving for 3 years just to get married and Jimin can’t help but teary eyes “oh god, are you serious?” Yoongi nods eagerly with tears on his lashes. Jimin wants to throw his body to Yoongi’s embrace, kisses him breathless, crying on the crook of his neck. But weirdly, he can’t bring himself to move from his chair, his thought suddenly floating to something it shouldn’t be; ‘Is he still with Yoongi this Christmas?’ and his brain suddenly imagining himself sits in front of the fireplace in someone’s embrace with vanilla and cinnamon scent hovering around him and he kisses his plump lips, Jimin wondering ‘how does it taste? Kissing him?’

He realises in front of him Yoongi stares at him, his face full of anticipation waiting for another word or reaction but Jimin’s brain flying to something else. He looks at the table where Yoongi’s cook nearly gone, eaten by him, and Jimin imagining savouring someone else’s lips instead. Jimin snaps back to Yoongi’s face; his smiles faded, his eyes full of anguish that he’s trying to hide by rubbing his neck awkwardly. Oh god, Jimin’s heart clenches in ache, he’s disgusted with himself, Yoongi doesn’t deserve this, how dare he ate his cook while his mind betraying him with another man, Jimin’s hand trembling caught by his own hurricane as his mind keeps playing a trick on him, he feels so sick as his stomach swirling like a tornado. Jimin runs to the sink and releases everything. Yoongi keeps rubbing his back patiently, he has been so patient. Jimin stares to his own vomit; it’s Yoongi’s food that he cooked for him even he barely has time to rest, he left his work just to make this and Jimin’s stomach even can’t take it because he imagining something he shouldn’t be. Jimin buries his face to his palms and starts sobbing while squatting to the floor because his legs feel boneless. He hates this; he hates for being weak. Is fate wanting him to give up?

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I’m sorry Yoonie” Jimin’s lips keep muttering the same word over and over again even he knows it won’t be enough

“it’s alright my love it’s alright,” Yoongi whispers let Jimin sobbing on his chest “I’m here, no matter what I always here. You can tell me anything, everything. And I promise I’ll always by your side”

Jimin can’t understand why the universe desperately wants to rip them apart while the only thing they want is just to be happy. Jimin pulls out to search for Yoongi’s teary eyes. He needs to tell him or else he’s going to be insane. If his body will betraying him at least he should give some light to Yoongi so maybe–just maybe–he will less guilty “I met him Yoon, I met him this afternoon. I–I can’t control myself, my brain keeps playing a trick on me, something weird happened on my body, I don’t want that! I was–I’m so scared! I don’t know what to do” Jimin wailing his face wet with drool, snort and tears, clutching Yoongi’s hoodie for dear life, he’s a mess.

But Yoongi’s face still unfazed, even the tears lingering on his lashes but the fondness never leave his eyes, he still stares at Jimin just the same–like he stares his whole world on it. His hand on Jimin’s nape still warm, until a small smile tugging on his lips, it’s faint but it still there “hey baby, it’s good doesn’t it? You finally met your Soulmate after 27 years. Aren’t you always curious what your Soulmate would look like?”

 it’s true, sometimes Jimin curious what they would look like but in the pit of Jimin’s heart he always pray that at least heaven would pair him with some asshole, cheater, murderer or the devil itself then he has a valid reason for hates them

Jimin shakes his head furiously “I don’t want them Yoon Why now? Why, when we already happy, we’ve been happy all this time, aren’t we?” Jimin doesn’t know why he asked that, why he suddenly feels need Yoongi’s confirmation, is that would make him more ease?

Yoongi reaches Jimin cheeks with both of his warm palms, wipes the tears stain away with his thumb. And for the first time Jimin hates that, he hates the fondness in his eyes; he hates how Yoongi looks at him; he hates the tenderness of his gesture; he hates the warmness that radiating from his body. Jimin hates all of that–because he doesn’t deserve any of that. Yoongi should be mad, he should scream with rage, cursing the god and heaven, questioning the fate that trapped them so with that–Jimin knows Yoongi still by his side, fight with him. Aren’t its’s always them against the world?–or Yoongi already given up?

“Jimin sunshine, you have no idea how happy I am since I met you. I can’t imagine my life without you. But you don’t know about you, are you happy enough?” Yoongi asks with a steady voice he always uses, he talks like nothing happened and Jimin doesn’t know if he can act like him if they were switching place.

“What do you mean I don’t know?!! Are you doubting I’m happy with you, Yoon? After 10 years you can’t realise how happy I am?” Jimin suddenly feels a wave of anger pills up and he knows he shouldn’t burst it out to Yoongi but Jimin can’t help but upset that Yoongi doubting his feeling.

“You were happy. But is that enough? You keep running away, hiding for people, you always been so careful of every step you would take, every morning you woke up with the same concern—‘am I going to meet them today?’. And look at yourself sweetheart, are you look like you’re happy?” it almost unfair how Yoongi can read Jimin entirely, while Yoongi is so good to cover his emotion until Jimin can’t tell which one the honest one.

Jimin stares at his reflection on the kitchen cabinet, the messy hair, bloodshot eyes with dark circle underneath, chapped pale lips, vomit stain on his shirt. His head throbbing like it’s going to explode soon, his face numb, the knot on his stomach still tightens unpleasantly. If the desperation is a person, he would be the perfect figure for that. Before Jimin can argue, Yoongi has talked first.

“it always me and you, you were only with me all this time. How do you know you are happier with me when you never try anything with your Soulmate?” nothing comes out from Jimin’s mouth–because he knows Yoongi is right “sweetheart, we both know this time would come. We’ve been preparing ourself for this time, aren’t we? And I know you’re stronger than this”

“have–have you given up already, Yoon?”

Yoongi stroking his hair still with adoration, his eyes never leave Jimin’s “as much as I love you, I don’t want to see you like this, I just want you to live happily. I can’t be selfish Jimin ah. Even though I’ve been nothing more than just taking care of you for someone else, it’s still the happiest moment of my life. I don’t regret every second of it”

Yoongi’s word supposed to calm him, but it hurt Jimin even more. Jimin always thought he’s the lucky one to have Yoongi in his life. Yoongi is his umbrella in the middle of his storm. He loves him more than anything he can describe. If he can’t be with him in this life, he promises to himself he’ll be with him in his next life. He will find him when fate has been less cruel to them. Jimin finds himself back to Yoongi’s embrace, sobbing on the crook of his neck, relishing the warmness of his presence–probably for the last time “I’m so sorry, I’m sorry the world has been too cruel for us, I’m sorry if meeting me make you have to through all of this, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry my love”

Yoongi pats his back lulling him “no sunshine, I’m the one who should be sorry”

That night, under the downpour as the sky cries for them, Jimin sleeps with the warmness of Yoongi’s body who spooning behind him. His pine scent calming him and Jimin too tired for another tear, he sleeps in a piece let himself escape for a while from the ruthless of reality, praying under his breath that everything is just a dream. Little did Jimin know Yoongi stay awake for the entire night behind him.

Jimin wakes up with the sunray illuminating through the crack of his curtain, his bed cold and empty and the house strangely quiet. Not even with Holly’s barking noise. Jimin paddles outside the bedroom. He hopes he will find Yoongi in the kitchen, with the audacity that left in him he kinda carving Yoongi’s cook. But instead of find Yoongi, Jimin sees Jungkook on the kitchen while Taehyung sits on the couch cuddling with Holly.

“oh, Minnie! How’s your feeling?” Taehyung beams cheerfully like the doesn’t notice Jimin’s bloated eyes, Jimin appreciates his boisterous friend’s effort, really.

“Good morning to you too Tae, I’m fine” Jimin smiles faintly to his friend as he walks to the kitchen finding Jungkook cooks kimchi fried rice there

“Hyung, just sit. It should be done in a few minutes” Jungkook chides while Jimin trying to get a spoon from the pan.

He complies nonetheless, he sits on the dining table obediently “Where’s Yoongi hyung?”

There’s a pause for a second before Taehyung answers, “he had to leave early about deadline and shit I didn’t understand. Anyway, he asked us for a favour”

Jimin’s heart feels warm with the fact Yoongi still cares about him even his works are hectic, his eyes itchy to be teary but Jimin resist it because he has promised to himself–he’ll be stronger this time. “for what? Babysit me?” Jimin asks with grins on his lips even he needs more effort to stretch his face’s muscle, its funny even Taehyung didn’t see him but his head snaps instantly with widening eyes.

“You guys been talked about this?” he asks even Holly barking in the back like asking the same question

Before Jimin can open his mouth Jungkook beat him to talk first “Babe, remember our deal before we got here? Eat first before interrogating”

Taehyung rolls his eyes “yes mom”

“what? You both made a plan to interrogate me?” Jimin raises his eyebrows to amuse.

“asking you some question” Jungkook corrects looking from behind his shoulder

Taehyung walks to the dining table to claims seat in front of his best friend “You don’t expect us to pretend everything is fine when we all know there’s a lot thing need to be talk about, are you?”

Jimin slumps to his chair “I know” he whispers

 “Now both of you shut up and sit properly and eat this shit then we talk!” Jungkook scolds them out of the blue

“what babe? You called your own cook ‘shit’?” Taehyung giggles with his signature boxy smile.

“what’s wrong? Are you woke up in the wrong pillow?” Jimin adds, start digging his plate.

Jungkook sighs “we are worried about you Hyung, do you think we can sleep after what happened yesterday? We worried, are you even can eat or sleep? And Taehyung, don’t pretend you’re not worried when you cried all night long”

Jimin’s heart melt with that, if heaven tortures him with couldn’t give Yoongi as his Soulmate at least they give him the most perfect best friends he could ever ask “you guys are really sweet, but I’m fine, I much better now, really”. No, he’s not.

This time Taehyung who let out an audible sigh while crossing his arms on his chest “it’s okay if you’re not fine, it’s okay to be sad and mad, this is your biggest fear after all. And we had known you and Yoongi Hyung since high school, we saw what you guys been through all this time and no one knows how you feel better than we are”

Jimin stares to his expressionless face before he back shoving fried rice to his mouth because he has nothing to say for that. “we’ve talked” Jimin informs after his last bite

“and?”

Jimin lets out a defeated sigh “he said he wants me to be happy, and I said I’m happy with him all this time and he said how I do know I was happy enough if I never am with my Soulmate?. I don’t know what to do now”

Jungkook whistling  “That must be intense, I’m surprised he’s not as straightforward as he usually would be”

Jimin raises his eyebrow confused “what do you mean?”

“He implied you should try to date- “Jungkook trying to explain before Taehyung shuts his mouth with his hand

Taehyung straighten his body before clear his throat “listen to me Chim, this is hard I know and we all know you love Yoongi hyung more than anything” Jimin nods with that before Taehyung threads “but here’s the thing about Soulmate concept, remember what we had learned back in high school? Our fate had been written and our soulmate had been decided since we were born, the fate paired us with our soulmate with reason and mostly because we are a perfect match with each other- “Jimin remembers all of that and he grows to believe everything about soulmate concept and rule is nothing more than bullshit.

“some of them are not. Some Soulmates end up not being together” Jimin interjects, because he had made some researches about people who decided not being his with a soulmate, most of them because apparently they were born as a perfect match at first but as they were grown up and got a lot of influence from here and there that changing their personality, ideology, way of thinking, some even changing their decency so that makes them being the polar opposite to each other and the rule of ‘perfect match’ isn’t valid anymore.

Taehyung nods “right, they exist but it just a special case. Probably only 1% of the whole. Fate has a strange way to match the Soulmates, and somehow it works. Good people paired with a good one and vice versa- “yeah, fuck with fate and their tricks. Jimin had done with that. He doesn’t know where the conversation is going “what I was trying to tell you is Yoongi hyung is right, how you would know you and your Soulmate are a perfect match or not if you are not giving him a chance”

“what? Are you trying to tell me to cheat on Yoongi?” he sounds harsher than he realises, he’s mad because he knows Taehyung is right and he hates to admit that.

Taehyung waves his hand off “No! I was telling you to gives him a chance, meet him, talk to him and getting know each other and with that, you can choose rationally who would you want to end up with”

There’s a pregnant pause between them, Taehyung only stares at him, gives Jimin space to processing. The image of going date with someone who’s not Yoongi doesn’t sit right in his mind, but he knows Taehyung has his point “You know who’s I’m going to choose Tae, I barely used my logic when I was around my Soulmate, I will make a decision like a drunk man, impulsive. My body acted strange yesterday, like I lose control of it, the hot temperature, the heartbeat it was scary. But I guess that the concept of soulmate meeting to make us lose our sense to make a consensual decision we’re not doing something in our will and that freak the hell out of me, really”

Taehyung blinking, his face not judging him but more like understanding “I get it where are you coming from. But your body was normal, because meeting your Soulmate trigger your adrenaline and serotonin boost, same like when are you meeting your crush or when you’re with Yoongi hyung right?”

Jimin nods “but with Yoongi hyung everything is grown naturally whereas with my Soulmate–fuck I almost kiss a stranger it’s scary”

“Alright, I understand, but yesterday you managed to control yourself, right? You didn’t do anything against your will, did you?” Jimin nods, he could control himself despite the chaos in his brain. For someone who had no idea how’s the feeling of meeting Soulmate would like, he did a great job “and if you told me you already know who you’ll choose in the end? Are you doubting your love to Yoongi hyung? Because Jimin I know is the one who is most sure about his fate,” Taehyung tries to convince him, and even he’s doing an amazing job with his hypothesis but it doesn’t make Jimin 100% sure.

But if Jimin thinks over it again, ‘is he doubting his feeling with Yoongi?’ then why he’s still not sure to confront his Soulmate, is he afraid of the fate would trick him again? Is he scared if his Soulmate indeed a perfect match with him? If that’s true, isn’t that great to meet someone who perfects with him? Then what he is really worried about?

Before Jimin can talk Taehyung adds “and regardless of your troubles, do you think its fair for him? For your Soulmate? Imagine he had been waiting to meet you and suddenly his one and only soulmate avoiding him because he loves someone else, don’t you think he deserves some explanation?”

Jimin bites hip lower lip. He hates to hurting people and in this case, he’s trapped in a difficult position where he should hurt someone unintentionally, either Yoongi or Taemin it’s hard to please both of them in the same time. Jimin has to make a decision.

Jimin perks up when he hears the lock of the front door is open, he’s rushing to go to the front door still with an apron on him. Yoongi smiles to him, warm as usual, but the tiredness in his eyes couldn’t be belied. Jimin can’t help to pull him into a hug. He throws his hand to Yoongi’s neck.

“welcome home baby” Jimin whispers he shuts his eyes, inhaling the pine scent he missed. The moment suddenly feels more emotional than it should be.

Yoongi immediately returns the hug by pulls Jimin closer by his waist, kissing Jimin’s temple for a while before resting his head on the younger shoulder “what are you doing sunshine?”

Jimin pulls out but not too much just for leaving a soft peck on Yoongi’s lips “cook dinner for you”

Yoongi smiles faintly and Jimin failed to catch the wistful eyes on him because Yoongi immediately catches his lips softly. They kiss as their lives depend on it, firstly it soft like the first leaf in autumn that fall and touch the ground, it so gentle and careful like the ant that walks in the silk, it attentive like a deer on hunting season it reminds him of their first kisses, it’s been years ago but it tastes just the same. As the growing of intensity makes Jimin cling on him, Yoongi’s tongue slips into Jimin’s mouth, still gentle but demanding and Jimin immediately melt into him, Jimin clenches his eyes shut to resist the tears to spring from it. He pulls out first after the last peck on Yoongi’s lips and cheek “Dinner is cold” Jimin whispers.

They eat in silence the only sound is just from the clink of spoons against the plates, both of them busy with their own mind, Jimin knows he will hurt Yoongi after he finished his dinner and the thought of that makes Jimin sick, this is so cruel. whereas Yoongi eats his food while keeps guessing what comes after this because the tension is too clear. There’s an elephant in the room, but no one pinpoints that yet. The situation is so alien to them, their apartment always warm despite the real digit on their room thermometer, their diner always full of laugh and affection but now it just cold and silence even put the graveyard on the shame.

 “how’s your day?” Jimin asks, still trying to maintain his smile

Yoongi lifts his head from staring at his food “it was–um.. great I guess. The song had finished and we just need approval from Bang PD. I honestly like the song, the best balance from all, the lyric, the beat and melodies, it’s perfect. I have the feeling it’ll be a big hit”

Jimin nods biting his lips

“how about you?” Yoongi asks he keeps licking his lips and Jimin knows he’s nervous

Jimin gathers his courage, this is it, this for them, he has to do it “if I said great I would lie, wouldn’t I?” Jimin decks his head “I think we need to talk hyung”

Jimin notices how Yoongi’s shoulder tenses but his face still unfazed like he had been predicting this would happen “yeah, we are”

Jimin looks at his boyfriend under his lashes, he doesn’t know where to start all of this; he doesn’t know how to make it less hurt–for both of them. Jimin shakes his head the longer he stalled, the more it hurt “I- I guess we- I need a space hyung- “Jimin looks up to checks Yoongi’s face but the older still listening attentively “I have been thinking about this and I- it’s better for me to make a decision in clear mind. I don’t want to be feeling guilty over you or my Soulmate. I want to do this for me, for my life. My future, I want to decide my own fate without other people’s intervention and I- “ Jimin takes a sharp breath “I’ve decided to give my Soulmate chance but in the same time I don’t want to taint our relationship by cheating on you so I’ve been thinking if we- “Jimin bites his lip hard “we should break up”

Jimin expected disappointed looks from Yoongi, instead, Yoongi nods understandingly, he still contents with the same fondness on his jaded eyes. Jimin can’t understand where his calmness comes from while Jimin feels he just being brought back from the dead after the word slips from his mouth. It’s left a bitter aftertaste until Jimin needs to rinse it with water in his glass “you make a right decision baby, I’m proud of you” he whispers with his shaky voice.

“you should be mad at me, you should curse me” Jimin stares at him blankly but the tears spring freely from his eyes

Yoongi raised his eyebrows, but he stretches his tremble lips into a faint smile “for what sweetheart? For break up with me?” Yoongi takes Jimin’s hand on the table silently “I know this day would come, I know you never belong to me, I basically stole you from someone else,” Yoongi chuckles dryly, he bites his lips to stop it from trembling “I always worried of how you would handle everything if this day comes but look at you now, you can make a big decision by your own. I guess I don’t have to worry anymore in the future”

“future” Jimin mumbles to himself before he looks at Yoongi’s clouded eyes “what about our future hyung?”

“our future is still the same sunshine, whether I have a place in yours or not, it doesn’t matter my love for you remains. And though we move in new spheres, following the challenges our futures bring, I hope you feel that my love is still yours. I feel blessed for the time we had, for the love we shared, and the best of you will remain in my heart”

Jimin presses his lips together to stop him from whimpering. Yoongi comes closer to kneels down in front of him and hugs him tightly after pressing some kisses on his forehead, he soothes him until Jimin can’t get his sense together even if just for temporary.

That night they sit on their cramp balcony, wrapped with blanket together, savouring the sweetness of hot cocoa watching the perfect full moon, it emitted streaks of beautiful white light and they were cast everywhere to soak nature in its fantasy of miracles, and Jimin doesn’t pass his chance to make a wish, hope at least the moon is on their side - Even though Jimin has to use all of his lucky chance.

 “I’ll seriously curse the landlord if he’s not fixing the heater. This place will be colder without you,” Yoongi complains.

Jimin chuckles “see, I always told you to just purchase a portable heater, I remind you like literally whenever we got our paycheck”

Yoongi tries to laugh “should I sell the mattress for the smaller size and buy the damn heater?”

Jimin bites his lips. Their bed holds so much memory, it used to be Jimin’s favourite spot because it smells just like Yoongi, smells like home. And Jimin understands if Yoongi wants to get rid of that because Jimin knows how hard to sleep on there while he knows the other side will be forever empty.

Yoongi tries his best to make Jimin feels better it should be Jimin who confronts him, he’s the one who leaves him after all. But then again, Jimin probably is the luckiest to ever had Yoongi in his life.

Jimin stays at Taehyung’s in meantime, thankfully his best friend has a spare room for him, Jimin makes a mental note to stay there until he can figure out which path he’s going to choose. After 5 years living together with Yoongi and suddenly he has to walks in his own feet sure, not easy. It is probably the fifth night he’s been awake, it’s not like he keeps bawling on his pillow all night long, but everything just so alien to him, the sheet, the bed, the pillow, the scent. Taehyung’s bed perhaps warmer than his and Yoongi’s bed since Taehyung’s heater is doing a great job but Jimin still misses his old bed, with Yoongi warming him up nightlong. And Jimin learns perfection not always a good thing.

Jimin tries to go to work, as usual, act usual, behave, as usual. He doesn’t want people to pity him; the perfect example as the result of someone who tricked the fate, someone who ignores his Soulmate, would end up like him. He doesn’t want to be remembered by that. But no matter he tries to act as natural as he can, everything still strange to him, Jimin has been heading to Taehyung’s flat countless time but walking at the street to his place after work instead of his and Yoongi’s feels strange, Jimin feels lost despite he knows where he’s going. Jimin lost as he loses his routine he used to do with Yoongi; makes breakfast at Monday, Wednesday, Friday and dinner at Tuesday and Thursday, makes coffee for two mugs, feeds holly at morning and walks him in the afternoon, waters his plants in the late afternoon after work, awakens when Yoongi come home after his overtime. And with that Jimin realises how he builds his life around Yoongi’s, Yoongi is the axis of his rotation, they put every piece of their puzzles together and when suddenly Yoongi’s pieces are gone, the whole image becomes a blur; it doesn’t make sense anymore. And it’s hard really, Jimin feels like he lost his right leg or left arm and the worst part of it is—he should be getting used with that.

“Go dance with me” Jungkook says abruptly after Jimin complaining he’s going to be insane after through bad insomnia every night

“what?”

“Join dance club with me, I’ll introduce you to Hobi hyung, he owns the club. Didn’t you love dance back in high school?” Jungkook recalls as he stuffed his mouth with sandwich.

“exactly! It’s been years and my body as stiff as worn out scarecrow,” Jimin exclaims winching from his throbbing head

Jungkook snorts “Your body won’t forget the move hyung, remember who was the won Busan’s best Bboy? Weren’t that you? The Popping mochi?”

Jimin groans embarrassed “stop that kook!”

Jungkook just laughs nonetheless “Hyung! don’t disappoint me, I used to be your fans!”

Jimin hits him playfully “what fans? You just follow me around like a lost kid” Jimin remembers the first time he met him when Jungkook watched him dances in high school practice room alone, back then the younger didn’t have any friends and awfully shy and with the doe eyes Jimin still can’t forget, Jungkook asked him to teach him dance and with that, despite their 2 years age gap they become a best friend.

“because you’re the coolest person when you dance!” Jungkook nags frustrated

Jimin sighs, he was love dancing and probably he still loves it but it’s been a while and “I don’t know kook”

Jungkook puts his sandwich and straightens back, his eyebrows frowned as his lips jutting and Jimin knows he’ll be scolded “Hyung! I know this is hard, but it’s been 3 weeks and I’m not sugar coating anymore. Get a grip on yourself, You have to rediscover yourself that you may have lost after focusing too much on your relationship. Do what you like, live as you ruled it, make new friend, make new routine”

No matter how he hates the Soulmate concept, but he has to admit that Jungkook and Taehyung is a perfect match, they share the same wisdom

Jimin finds himself standing on the bookshop’s door near the school, he doesn’t know if pulls the damn door would be this hard. His heartbeat erratic and his hands clammy, he feels giddy for no reason. Yeah, fucking hormones.

Before Jimin can deal with the war of his hormones, the door being open from inside and the brunette hair boy standing in front of him. Jimin has to admit whether this is because the bond or the boy is really pretty, he has soft and delicate features on his face just like Yoongi’s and Jimin sucker with pretty things.

Taemin looks at him with wide eyes like a deer caught in the headlight, and Jimin almost has a heart attack with that. Both of the stares for couple seconds before they both realise what happens. Taemin’s face brightens when he sees Jimin “uh.. you back!” he exclaims.

And Jimin hates himself from blushing “I’m back” what the f-

Jimin shakes his head to avoid from further embarrassment “I mean I - we’ve something to talk about” Jimin explains

Taemin freezes for a second with his grin and Jimin can’t help but think that endearing “oh yeah of course, uh do you want umm… to go to the coffee shop there?” he asks as pointing the coffees shop across the street

Jimin considering if there’s a place they both should talk it’s better somewhere in public especially when Jimin barely can think straight “that sounds great, but how about the bookshop?”

When Taemin is sure Jimin agrees to go to the coffee shop, he immediately turns the sign to ‘close’ and locks the door “It’s alright, it almost lunch anyway”

When they enter the coffee shop and the scent of roasted coffee bean hits his nose the floods of nostalgic memory washes over him, here is when Yoongi usually waits for him every time he picks him from work or when Yoongi wants to spend a couple of a minute with him at lunchtime. They would sit near the window and watching people walk by at the outside while emptied his latte (Americano for Yoongi)

“which one do you want, Jimin-ssi?” Taemin asks to bring Jimin back from his reverie

It’s been a long time since his date asks him what he wants because Yoongi would go straight to the cashier and order Jimin’s favourite “hot latte with almond milk and um.. extra sugar” Jimin tries to remember what his usual order. Taemin stares at him for a while “sorry for being fussy” Jimin grimaces.

Taemin smiles while shakes his head makes his silky bangs brush his forehead gently “no, it just interesting to learn your Soulmate’s coffee preference” he adds before talks to the waitress to order their drinks

Jimin bites his lips, it’s not interesting for him, it’s weird to learn everything basic again, even they’re basically is Soulmate but they barely know each other and learning everything with someone new indeed needs a lot of effort. It’s an exhausting process And the giddiness in him doesn’t enough to convince him the otherwise.

“where should we sit?” Taemin once again slams him back to the reality

“near the window looks great”

It’s not many people who walk outside, maybe the weather too gloomy to strolling around even at the weekend. Jimin’s thought floating, what he would do in this weather with Yoongi? The older probably too slothful to leave the bed, they would cuddle all day long and orders some soup for lunch, Yoongi would grunt complaining the cold temperature in their flat and Jimin nags him for always refusing the idea to buy a portable heater and promise him he would buy it for Jimin’s next birthday gift. Without he realises a small smile finds its way to Jimin’s lips.

“what is it? You look happy?” Taemin asks raises his eyebrows, amused.

Taemin probably thinks Jimin feels happy to meet him just like how Taemin always grinning now and then while the truth Jimin’s thought keeps floating to somewhere else and with that reason he feels like shit. “um? I just like watching people from here,” he lies–even not completely.

Taemin nods “uh you have something on your upper lip” he informs pointing his philtrum

Jimin grabs the tissue to wipe his lips “here?” he asks

Instead of answering, Taemin leans into wipes it by himself. He’s so close until Jimin notices the mole on his cheek and the little freckles on his nose, his lashes are long just like Yoongi, his eyes are wider, he screams of pretty and innocent looks while Yoongi pretty but mysterious kind of looks “there you go”

Jimin almost downed his latte in one go for calming his heartbeat. He wants slaps his face for blushing easily. Jimin really hates the fact that he can’t control his body, it’s like he’s under witchcraft spell, it doesn’t natural and that scared the shit of him, he clears his throat “anyway, I’m sorry for last day, I shouldn’t run away like that” Jimin fidgeting his thumb’s nail.

Taemin chuckles “hey it’s okay Jimin-ssi. I mean, I also kinda freaked out. It was a really strong effect, stronger than being described in the textbook. I’m thankful you reach me out again. Honestly, I was looking for my Soulmate for such a long time, you know? I almost thought I don’t have any”

Yeah of course because Jimin always ran away from him and Jimin realises it’s also not fair to Taemin, he has no idea of what he was getting into. Jimin swallows his guilt away “I’m sorry”

I’m sorry I always pray we never cross a path

“I’m sorry” that was all he could say

Taemin smiles endearingly that Jimin knows he doesn’t deserve “No I’m sorry for not found you sooner” Jimin really doesn’t deserve this “I mean you are here and we can start to catch up on everything right?” his round eyes glimmering full of hopes

Jimin’s logic tells him to explain the truth, but Jimin’s heart hates to hurt him and strangely wants to know him better. “yeah right” he decides to answer, even manages to give him a smile. Jimin curses himself.

Taemin beams happily he even sits on the edge of his chair so he can lean closer to Jimin, in any other circumstances Jimin would feel uncomfortable but then again his heart can’t bring him to hate the man in front of him “so what do you do?” he asks while sips his own latte, both of them seems to have the same obsession with sweet based on Taemin’s order; vanilla latte and a rainbow cake to share, unlike Yoongi who prefers Americano and sugar-free oat cookies. Is this what people called ‘perfect match’?

“I’m a literature teacher at Dawon high school,” Jimin answers truthfully

Jimin doesn’t miss how Taemin’s eyes widen “oh you’re a literature teacher and I’m a bookshop owner. What a perfect match”

Yeah perfect match

“so you own that book shop?” Jimin takes a spoon of the cake and grimaces with sweetness, it really sweet.

Taemin nods and eats the cake with his own spoon, he seems to like it or maybe this cake is his favourite in this café “actually I’m a book author, I wrote some books but if I don’t get the inspiration yet I usually spend my time in my bookstore, watching people, just like what you do when you sit by this window”

Jimin chuckles dryly without looking at Taemin, it’s funny how fate works. If fates is a person, Jimin would laugh at their face for being so impulsive. An author with a literature teacher? Seriously?

Taemin looks at him confused but the smiles still remain on the corner of his lips “why?”

Jimin shakes his head immediately doesn’t want to look rude “no it just funny. What a coincidence, both of us”

Taemin seems relives and nods agree

“so what kind of book did you write?” Jimin asks genuinely interested

“Mostly romance, sometimes I wrote a piece of life, some even fantasy. I kinda random writer, I write everything,” Taemin explains after emptying his cup.

Jimin hums, “are you also wrote about Soulmate stuff?”

The two of them decided to take a walk, walking along the side of the road with the red and orange leaves shading them. The weather is cold as the temperature continues to fall from day to day; the sun is almost setting, leaving a faint purple and peach in the sky with the sound of the chirping of hovering birds announcing their return journey, heading their way to home. At some point makes Jimin envy, at least they have something like a home.

Taemin takes a quick glance at him before he answers, “yeah, most of my romance book about Soulmate”

‘So he’s a big fan of that,’ Jimin thinks

“what you wrote in your book about them?” Jimin asks.

For once in a while a leaf would fall on Jimin’s head or shoulder before it would hit the ground lightly, quietly. As the leaf makes, it’s a final journey to the earth, it falls in a graceful tumbling motion, seeking the least resistance from the autumnal air. Already dead, yet it’s colour and its dance were so alive.

Taemin gives him a quick smile before he takes a deep breath “Just like I create my own universe, I believe our universe also wrote our stories. They give us a role, some are the protagonist, some has to be the villain–well I guess every villain must deny they’re one of them,” he chuckles dryly “some lucky enough to get the main role, some have to be satisfied with supporting role. I think we’re just stories of universe creation. They wrote of how we meet and how we end. And guess what? the character in my book can’t choose their role, just like us. The universe is a complicated bitch”

Jimin can’t help but smiles, he likes how Taemin thinks about Soulmate. He does not sound entirely depend on his life with Soulmate things and accept the concept of a soulmate as it is without questioning it, instead, he also thinks soulmate is universe creation that makes them can’t choose their own path.

“you know? I never believe about Soulmate,” Jimin blurts out.

Taemin looks at him surprisingly amused “I figured”

“I mean, I know they exist, but it just the concept of I’ve to love someone because universe told me so without even knowing them doesn’t sit right in my mind. I want to love them by the process, fall for them because who they are not because my fate and shit” Jimin sighs, he knows some people think he’s crazy for talks no sense with his opinion about Soulmate but those people just being ignorant just because they don’t through what Jimin went through. They don’t know how it’s like to love someone who isn’t their soulmate.

“I understand where you’re coming from,” Taemin exclaims

“you are?” Jimin stares at him with incredulity

Taemin shrugs “as I said, it sucks when the character can’t choose their own role, can’t decide their own plot. I think if the concept of Soulmate doesn’t exist everyone wants to love by the process, fall for them day by day as times go by. Some people just accept their soulmate without thinking about that, because the bond bewitching them and they would fall completely in the end”

They’re getting close to Taehyung’s flat and Jimin thinks probably his Soulmate isn’t that bad, the concept of perfect match maybe not completely wrong, somehow they have the similar way of think. Jimin doesn’t sure if that would make everything easier or way more complicated.

When they arrived at Taehyung’s flat door, Taemin adds, “Jimin-ssi, I respect your opinion that you want to love by the process and getting to know each other better. How about you can decide whether to reject me or not, and I get the chance to pursue you?”

Jimin knows the situations is unfair to both of them and if Jimin can’t promise anything to Taemin in the end, at least he still can give him a chance, after a long wait to meeting his Soulmate Taemin deserves that after all.

Jimin nods before he opens the door

Their second date Taemin takes him to the painting exhibition holds by his close friend. Jimin used to go to painting exhibition with Taehyung back in university, since his best friend from fine art major he always being dragged by him to visiting from exhibition to exhibition and after saw countless of artwork Jimin can’t help by grows the same excitement with him. So when Taemin told him his best friend is a painter and invited him to his exhibition, Jimin would agree in a beat.

The exhibition hold in a fancy hotel ballroom, it is more packed than he thought. Jimin had been expected the event is nothing but lavish since Taemin told him to dress formally. The older looks stunning in his checkered caramel blazer while Jimin finally has reason to try his Louis Vuitton maroon blazer from Taehyung’s gift of his last birthday.

Jimin knows Taemin is a good guy, he never leaves Jimin’s side with his palm protectively on Jimin’s back even without touching him, The older introducing him with his friends now and then, and what Jimin’s heart feels warm is Taemin address him in front of his friend just by his name without ‘Soulmate’ or any other title before his name. Taemin respects their boundaries even when they’re obviously a Soulmate.

“you like abstract?” Taemin asks beside him.

Jimin who just realises he has been spent fifteen minutes to stare at the abstract painting in front of him flinched “uh?” he takes a brief glance to Taemin “yeah, this one is pretty” Jimin murmurs. Still focus to examine every stroke of the colours. It’s a painting with the dark navy background with a splattering of various colours of yellow, orange and magenta reminds him of sunset at Busan’s beach, the place where he got his first kiss.

Taemin hums “my friend made this after he broke up”

“really?” Jimin doesn’t give him a look, his eyes still busy trailing to the painting “no wonder it holds so much emotion”

Taemin looks at him in disbelief “how do you know?”

Jimin chuckles at his reaction “I’m just guessing, see there are spots with thicker paint than the other. You also can notice the trail of brushes as the painter put much of his strength at some spaces. So I thought the painter felt so much emotion when he painted this. It called-“

Jimin remembers one day Yoongi brought a random painting to their house. Abstract painting with a beige background and a splash of green and yellow in the middle, Yoongi told him that he bought it from the street painter in front of his office, even though Jimin always thought it looked like a picture of someone who just stepped on an insect they still put in their living room because Yoongi kept insisted on calling the painting ‘the chaos in beauty’.

“the chaos in beauty” Jimin murmurs without realising he’s smiling to the painting

Jimin can catch how Taemin turns his head to look at him “you are something else park Jimin” Jimin can feel Taemin’s finger search their way to Jimin’s finger hesitantly intertwined them, not too tight enough to let Jimin retreat his hand if he wants.

But he isn’t.

His heart tells him this is the Soulmate things should do, how a normal couple of Soulmates should behave. Jimin won’t deny sometimes he wants to be part of the system, lives peacefully without always fighting against the universe. But the hollowness in Jimin’s heart doesn’t simply being filled as their fingers intertwined, the empty space of the missing puzzle still there, the piece doesn’t fit, this doesn’t feel right.

“Pah! One! Two! Pah! Pah!” Hoseok Keeps muttering the same words, Jungkook and Jimin following his movement precisely while focusing their attention to their reflection in the mirror in front of them “Good! Now we try with the music on” The older exclaims.

When the beat starts flowing in the humid air of the dance studio, three of them rehearse the movement that they’ve been learning precisely, without flaw. Jungkook do the hat tricks he had to learn for weeks while Jimin braces himself to do his acrobatic move where he’ll do rotation fly and Hoseok lies above him, that’s not a hard move for him since he used to do it in Busan but gathers the courage and self-esteem to do that again after years is the hardest, but he can do it, eventually.

“Perfect! Neat!” Hoseok beams as soon as the music has stopped, three of them immediately collapse on the floor trying to catch their breath “Yah! Jimin ah! Are you sure you’ve been quitted for years? Or are you just being cocky by pretending you quit while you just as good as people who practising all night every day?” Hoseok wonders without real bites in it. His face keeps bright, even the beams of sweat flowing down from his forehead.

Jimin snorts playfully “Hyung! I’ve been taught people just like you, you know? And I know your statement only for encouraging me”

Hoseok laughs while nudges Jungkook's ribcage “see! He’s being cocky” the youngest snickers and Hoseok averted his gaze to Jimin “alright teacher”

Jimin rolls his eyes while grinning “whatever but this is fun”

Jungkook sits up abruptly “I told you!” Jimin chuckles with comically offended expression on his best friend’s face

Hoseok joins Jungkook by sits beside him “Such a shame if a dancer as good as you just do this for fun tho”

Jimin looks at both of them confused “uh?”

Hoseok gives him his signature wide smile that Jimin almost thought the summer has come “Join the competition with us” he exclaims

Jimin shifts from where he lies, suddenly the room feels hotter with the sudden of adrenaline rush in his vein “um- I don’t know Hyung, I- I still need practice” Jimin mumbles unconfidently

Hoseok shrugs “well, you don’t reject it either, besides that’s true three of us still need practice. Think about that Jimin-ah, don’t you miss the competitive spirit inside you? You can’t lie to me, I know you used to be a trophy hunter”

Jimin smiled as he closed his eyes, trying to remember the feelings he may have yearned for years, one piece of the puzzle that may be missing

It’s been a month since Jimin decided to choose his own path, a month since he left Yoongi’s penthouse, and this is the fifth date with Taemin. all dates succeed to convince him that Taemin is a really good guy but strangely it never enough to makes Jimin settle. He keeps drifting, can’t bring himself to stand with his own feet, he’s lost.

In meantime Yoongi never reaches him, not a single message let alone a call. Jimin tries to think Yoongi wants to respect his decision by gives Jimin times to decide, he doesn’t want Jimin makes a bias decision if he tries to distract him. That’s also the reason why Jimin never reaches Yoongi either. But Jimin can’t help ugly thoughts in his head that told him that Yoongi is fine without him.

“you want to buy something?” Taemin’s voice brings Jimin back from his daydream

Jimin looks at him confused before he realises he entering a record store when they’re strolling around in the shopping centre. Jimin nods immediately doesn’t want to makes Taemin suspicious “yeah, just let's take a look for a while”

Jimin’s eyes scanning every single piece of vinyl and CD’s on display. The record store is a must-visit place when Jimin and Yoongi were dating at the shopping centre. As his body and mind already take the familiarity with the store, makes Jimin almost forgot he comes with the different person this time.

“oh, this band is really popular this day” Taemin informs him when he stopped at ‘bestseller’ rack. Jimin hums take the vinyl silently. He knows of course he is. “their new song is really good” Taemin threads. And Jimin smiles when he catches the album credit on the inside, he touches it gracefully as he can touch the real person behind that’s name. Min Yoongi.

“yeah I also love the song” Jimin smiles to the memory Yoongi asked him to sing the guide track

Taemin notices Jimin stares at the album credit quite long “You know one of them?”

Jimin looks at him briefly before he puts back the vinyl to its place “just.. just my favourite music producer in there, I love all of his work” he shrugs before continue to walk

Taemin seems doesn’t convince, but he doesn’t press it “You play music?” Jimin asks him, trying to manoeuvre the conversation when he notices the grand piano in the middle of the store.

Taemin chuckles lightly “I suck at music”

Jimin hums, trying to cover his disappointment. He approaches the grand piano. There are not many people in the store since it’s not a weekend so Jimin get the urge behind it.

“you can play?” Taemin asks amused

Jimin smiles at him and gestures him to sit beside him. well… after dated Yoongi for almost 10 years doesn’t make him an expert pianist, but Jimin remembers how to play one or two songs he used to play together with Yoongi. Jimin presses his fingers experimentally, let the sound of the key fills his ear, it’s been a while since he heard music from a live instrument, Yoongi used to fill their apartment with the serenade of his guitar and Jimin doesn’t realise he misses it after the melody filled the recesses of his heart.

Jimin lets his fingers dancing on the ivories, remembering the memory of the song he used to hear secretly every time Jimin caught Yoongi on music room alone after school. He still remembers it vividly, when he sneaked behind him at the corridor with curiosity when he noticed Yoongi never straightly went to the school’s gate after their last bell rang, at first he thought Yoongi wanted to avoid the rains since it was raining at the time and Jimin was following him to lend him his umbrella. But Yoongi went to the music room and sat behind the piano, he opened his notebook and scribbled after he found new keys, he’s so passionate even the thunder sound didn’t bother him. Since then Jimin would follow him to the music room after class, sat outside the door just to hear him played. He didn’t want to disturb him or made him uncomfortable, so he left before Yoongi went out. Until one day in summer when Jimin too exhausted and the melody of the piano lulled him, made him dozing off in front of the music room’s door, that day Yoongi caught him following him, that day Yoongi knew his name.

Jimin presses the last key with a smile quirked on his lips

Taemin looks at him amazed “that’s beautiful Jimin-ah. Is that perhaps has a title?”

Jimin bites his lip “Serendipity”

“That’s your boyfriend?” Hoseok asks as soon as Jimin enters the dance studio.

Jimin looks at the older who’s in the middle of stretching “he’s not hyung” Jimin answers shortly before he puts his bag and joins with Hoseok

“really? He seems like one” Hoseok wonders, and Jimin understands Taemin drops him off in front of the studio with a bright face even opened his door car for Jimin.

Jimin sighs “he’s my Soulmate” he murmurs and stretches his legs

Hoseok raises his eyebrow and stares at him through the mirror in front of them “so he’s your Soulmate but not your boyfriend?”

“yup,” Jimin doesn’t give him a look but he can feel Hoseok’s gaze still pierces at him and Jimin lets out another sigh “he’s my Soulmate because apparently, the fate told me so, but he’s not my boyfriend because I still not decided yet”

This time Hoseok looks convinced he nods understand and continues his stretching session “you don’t like him?”

If he’s another person, Jimin would be annoyed for being so fussy, but he has been so close with him and Jimin can’t ignore the worried tone in his hyung’s voice. Jimin bites his lips “I don’t know, I’ve liked someone more than this”

“Jungkook told me, that his best friend wanted to join my dance club, but he had been quitting for years. I asked him why he changed his mind, he said you just broke up. Is that him? Someone you liked?” Hoseok asks carefully.

Jimin knows he’s been separated with Yoongi for a month, but hearing someone reminds him that they already broke up still leaves a painful pang on his heart. Jimin has to bite his own tongue to stop him from sobbing, but prickles of tear still find their own way to stream down “this is so unfair hyung”

Hoseok seems slightly surprised with Jimin’s reaction, but he just approaches the younger quietly and pats his back. He gives Jimin time to calm himself before he speaks “do you know why people prefer to grow their own flowers instead of buying a bouquet at a flower shop?”

Jimin looks at him confused before he shakes his head

“when you grow it yourself, you water it regularly, fertilize it, you watch every leaf grow, you watch every process, you love it day after day. And when the first buds bloom, there is no one more proud than yourself. And when the time comes and the flowers begin to wither, you will feel sad too. But you know you can repeat the same process to grow more flowers. However, if you buy a flower bouquet at a flower shop, of course, it is prettier. It doesn’t take time and process, but when the flowers wither and end up in the trash, then everything will be over. And the most ironic thing is that you don’t feel sad about it,” Hoseok explains patiently, Jimin blinks staring at him before Hoseok threads “what I mean is, I know it’s not my place to tell you what you should do or who’s better for you, but if I allow to give you some advice, I want to tell you to choose whoever you truly love, it doesn’t matter if he’s your Soulmate or not, sometimes love needs a reason”

“do you think that Scorpio?” Taemin asks him when they’re at the observatory for stargazing

Jimin beside him shrugs “it looks like a grasshopper for me”

Taemin looks at him pretending to be offended, his eyes widen comically, his lips muttering something incoherent, “yah! Take a look once again! It clearly looks like a scorpion! See the tail over there” Taemin trying to explain frustratedly while gives Jimin the telescope to makes him look through from it.

Jimin chuckles amused “alright hyung!” Jimin presses his eyes to the hole of binoculars “is that scorpion tail? Why it look like a mantis’s arms for me?” he giggles.

Taemin lets out a defeated laugh. He stares at him in disbelief “you’re impossible Jimin ah”

Jimin gives him twinkles giggling for Taemin frustrated expression “Hyung give me an interesting fact about space then I’ll believe that scorpion”

‘Jimin ah do you want to hear something interesting about the moon?’

Taemin pretending he racks his brain to think before he shows off his smug smile “If two pieces of the same type of metal touch in space they will permanently bond”

‘The Moon was once a piece of the Earth, ’

Taemin smiles fondly at him when Jimin looks up to the older’s face, Jimin stares to his hazel eyes deeply until he can see his own reflection drifting in it

Jimin manages to ask “how they can be bond?”

‘how they can be separated?’

Jimin feels dizzy when the scent of cinnamon and vanilla sneaks into his nose as soon as Taemin makes his way to Jimin’s space “Maybe because the same reason that bond us”

‘perhaps because the same thing that separated us’

Taemin rests his hand carefully on Jimin's cheek and sends a strike of electricity to Jimin’s body, his hand warm as his fingers brush to the apple of his cheek “fate”

‘fate’

Jimin’s heartbeats refuse to be calm, it’s pounding madly under his ribcage, no matter how hard his logic tries to convince him that there’s no reason to be reacted this way. Every touch of him sends a shiver to Jimin’’s spine makes his breath hitches and his heart almost leap to his throat. Taemin leans closer until they’re breath mingling in the same air.

‘but it doesn’t matter. I love you Jimin ah, you know that right?’

Like being struck by thunder light, Jimin jolted when their lips brush with each other. Jimin takes a few steps back stares at Taemin with wide eyes. It’s not what he wants. This feels wrong. Something inside his brain keeps telling him that. He’s mortified by himself.

Taemin doesn’t seem surprised like he knows what going to happen despite that, he can’t hide the sorrow in his eyes “you already made your decision, am I right?”  he asks so quiet like a whisper that Jimin barely heard

Jimin bites his lip, he should be decisive, he can’t cry, not this time “I’m sorry Hyung. I have tried”

“you already have someone else?” he wonders sounds defeated

Jimin knows this isn’t the right time to pull any excuse. He hurts Taemin deeply; he breaks his Soulmate’s heart. Taemin doesn’t deserve any of this “you deserve someone better, Hyung. I’m so sorry” Even in this situation, there’s no hint of anger in his face, Taemin indeed a good guy and Jimin remember about the perfect match concept, Taemin understands him the way people can’t. it makes him feels guilty even more, Taemin just an unfortunate soul that trapped in the loop by the universe, just like him and Yoongi. None of them deserves this. Taemin deserves to be happy like Jimin who tries to pursue his own happiness, but at that time there’s nothing he can do except pray so the older can find his happiness even not in Jimin’s presence.

There’s some unfairness in life that can’t be fixed by law, for example, when you can’t be happy without hurting other people, some people being forced by destiny to be a villain in the story, some being kicked out in their own story. Jimin knows none can fix the fact that Taemin would be left his chance to be with his Soulmate he has waited for so long, he owes him an apology for the rest of his life. But this way is better rather than pretending to love him while Jimin’s mind keeps yearning for someone else, Taemin deserves more than that.

“Jimin ah” Taemin calls him when Jimin ready to leave. Jimin turns his heel to looks at him for the last “if our path cross again by destiny, I think I’ll deserve another chance” he wonders with a faint smile over his glassy eyes.

If Jimin can face the god to make one wish, he would ask them to pair Taemin with someone who thousand times better than him even it's mean he would give up his chance to be paired with Yoongi. Unfortunately, he can’t. so he gives him reassurance, smile and nods “of course”

Jimin doesn’t know if standing in front of Yoongi’s apartment door would be this nervous, a lot of emotion washes over him that almost overwhelmed him, his heart hammering with anticipation, his hands clammy just to press their door passwords, his beads of sweat gathers on his forehead, Jimin needs everything so he won’t cry. On the other side, he’s grateful he can feel this feeling for Yoongi, he’s being honoured to love him even after everything that happened, Jimin never this sure in his life.

It’s 30 minutes before midnight. He hopes Yoongi is at home and he doesn’t sleep yet, otherwise Jimin will wait for him. With trembling hand Jimin presses the key password he remembers, luckily it’s still same. The date of their anniversary like any other cliché smitten couple. He chuckles with his own thought.

It’s really dark inside, every lighting is off. Jimin steps inside and immediately reaches for the light switch.

“Yoongi?” Jimin calls hesitantly

Nothing changes inside, everything still just the same like the day he left, his indoor slippers still beside Yoongi’s, his photos still hanging neatly on the wall, the abstract painting, his yellow chick mug, even Holly’s bowl still in the same place. Jimin bites his lips to stop him from crying due to the familiarity that he always missed, his home.

Jimin jolted with Holly’s bark behind him, he’s squatting to pat him

“Hello to you too baby boy, do you miss me?” he coos while scratching Holly’s brown fur. But Holly keeps barking nonetheless. Jimin’s eyebrows furrowed confused “what’s wrong, baby? Where’s your dad?” Holly still barking while running back and forth from his side to bedroom’s door as he asks Jimin to follow him.

Jimin approaches the bedroom slightly panic but as soon as he sees a familiar figure lies on the bed Jimin can’t help but smiles. He sits quietly on the bedside, Yoongi looks serene beneath the thick duvet, nothing changes from his figure except he looks slightly thinner makes the cavity beneath his eyes look deeper, Jimin’s heart aches to sees that. He brushes his fingers to Yoongi’s black lock carefully to not wakes him up.

“Jimin?” Yoongi rasps voice calls him, Jimin tries to look at him, the room is dark and the only light comes from moonbeam through their window. “Jimin is that you?” he repeats

“I’m here baby, I’m home” Jimin answers with a shaky voice, stares at two pairs of dark eyes in front of him

Yoongi grumbling incoherently as he tries to sit up, he touches Jimin’s face with his palm and Jimin immediately melts in his touch “it’s really you” he whispers weakly. Before Jimin can say anything Yoongi throws himself to Jimin’s hug, he circling his arms to Jimin’s neck pulls him closer, Jimin doesn’t think twice to accept him in his own embrace. He buries his face in the crook of Yoongi’s neck, inhaling the pine scent that he was longing for. “oh god this is really you” Yoongi murmurs on his neck, Jimin can feel his boney spine in his embrace, he lost so much weight, Yoongi’s body trembling as he can’t stop sniffling, clutching Jimin’s shirt as his life depends on it. He seems so small and vulnerable.

“I’m so sorry Yoongi” Jimin tries to soothe him with pats his back gently but it doesn’t make Yoongi stops sobbing, he sounds so in pain and every whimper that comes out from his mouth ripped Jimin’s heart mercilessly “I’m sorry it took me so long, I’m sorry to make you waiting”. Jimin never sees him in this state, so dejected, not even the single tear he shed in the day they broke up, he managed to keep his smile even in the day Jimin left their house. Yoongi always be strong for him, keeps him steady and grounded, and when Jimin has to witness how Yoongi can’t stop himself from choking off his own sobs, his heart shattered into pieces.

Yoongi falls asleep on Jimin’s arm with face buries on his chest, Yoongi holds him tightly afraid that he will lose him again, Jimin keeps kissing the top of his head whispering how much he loves him until the dawn comes.

Jimin doesn’t remember how long he stays awake, the sunray striking through the window, the birds chirping gloriously at the outside as they could feel Jimin’s happiness

“you awake?” Jimin whispering when Yoongi stirs between his arms. Jimin welcomes him with smiles when Yoongi stares at him with wide eyes “good morning sleepyhead” Jimin caress the apple of his beloved cheek.

“th- this isn’t a dream?” he stuttered “I- ‘am not dreaming?” he asks disbelief with the sight in front of him

Jimin chuckles but his eyes sting with the urge of his tears to drip down “no you’re not. I’m really here and I won’t leave again” Jimin convinces him.

 Yoongi scrunches his nose, his eyebrows furrowed as he is trying to refuse to break down, but the prickles of tears that stream on his cheeks betray him. His eyes already bloodshot and bloated but his tears can’t be drained like he’s pouring all his sorrow that he had been holding all these times. Without Jimin realises he drenches his own cheeks, seeing how hurtful Yoongi. His heart torn apart as a realisation hits him.

no one was more hurt than Yoongi.

He also left everything behind for them, he also through prejudice and mockery about their relationship just like him. He left his hometown, his family, his friends to Seoul without nothing but his dream and his love. Yoongi builds his life around Jimin just like how Jimin’s entire pieces of the puzzle just about them. Yoongi was lost, just like Jimin.

He endured all the pain alone by himself; he was pretending to be fine while he even couldn’t sleep at night. He tried to be steadfast so Jimin could make his decision unbiased when Jimin had Taehyung and Jungkook Yoongi had no one. No one to hug him when he cried alone in an empty bed, no one on his side when he had to stay at their home alone with all memories still lingering in it. When Jimin went to date with Taemin, Yoongi only could pray the best for his beloved one. Unlike Jimin, Yoongi had no choice.

Jimin can’t stop himself to keep apologizing even he knows it won’t be enough.

When Yoongi starts to be more content, he raises his head to looks at Jimin who immediately wipes Yoongi’s tears on his cheeks “is this mean you choose me?” he asks

Jimin brush his finger gently to Yoongi’s dark eye bags before he kisses his eyelids softly “it always you, I was so dumb to realise it too late, you’re my home”

Yoongi pouting endearingly, especially with his ruddy button nose “you’re not dumb. You did great to think carefully before you make a choice”

Jimin wants to argue since he regrets to ever doubted his love to Yoongi but he can’t find himself to do it instead he just kisses his pout away “I can’t stop thinking about you, not a single night I didn’t miss you”

Yoongi whines with a blush on his cheeks, it’s cute when he still can’t hear Jimin’s flirt even after 10 years of dating “you think I wouldn’t go crazy here?” he scolds without malice in there “every time I saw your slippers on the entrance, your stupid chicken mug, your shit-eating grinning photos in every inch of our wall. I swear I would lose my mind,” he complains.

Jimin laughs with his antic, relives seeing his sweet gummy smile back to brighten his face “why you just didn’t hide my things?” Jimin wonders still threading his fingers to Yoongi’s hair

Yoongi sighs after Jimin kisses his forehead “I knew you’ll be back”

Jimin can’t stop himself grinning like a fool until his cheeks hurt “Yoongi”

Yoongi stares at him with his ink pool eyes that Jimin lets himself floated udder inside them “hmm?”

“I guess” Jimin leans to kiss his cheek “I have the last verse” and his nose “for our song” and ends with a soft peck on his pouty lips

Yoongi shows up his signature smug smirk “let me hear then” he challenging Jimin as usual

Jimin pulls him closer until Yoongi can rest his head on Jimin’s shoulder while Jimin leans to his ear. He’s tapping Yoongi’s back softly as he synchronizing it with the beat. Jimin takes a deep breath before he starts singing.

” darling, if your presence is like autumn then I’ll fall for you every time

Like leaves that let themselves falling as they fall in love with the ground

I won’t hate the wind that drift me to you

I will kiss you warmly like summer’s farewell to the autumn

In the heartbeat of fruitfall

under the red hue of blazing leaves

 I will love you endlessly”

Jimin sighs on Yoongi’s lips when their lips meet, the warmness creeps to their body until the chill breezes of December doesn’t bother them, Yoongi kisses him softly with his palm resting on his nape, Jimin grabs his husband’s collar to pull him closer as he keeps nibbling on his lower lip, Yoongi deepens the kiss as he licks Jimin’s lips asks permission to enter his mouth, Jimin feels dizzy when their tongue dancing passionately. Jimin traps between the balcony railing and Yoongi’s body, he doesn’t know for how long they’ve been kissing Jimin feels the numbness on his lips but he can’t bring himself care anymore since they share sweet kisses with the sight of top Eiffel tower in front of them.

Jimin pants trying to catch his breath as he looks at the incredible sight in front of him while Yoongi silently wraps his arms to Jimin’s torso from behind “I can’t believe we finally made it” Jimin mumbles

Yoongi hums resting his head on Jimin's shoulder after papering kisses at the younger’s neck “we deserve a happy ending sunshine”

Jimin turns his face to looks at his beloved “Yoongi”

“hmm?”

“where do you think your Soulmate is?” Jimin wonders can’t avert his gazes from Yoongi’s eyes

Yoongi shrugs “I hope somewhere, the other side of the world that I won’t visit,” he smiles before leans into kisses him dearly