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Sun Xiang’s light was still on when Qiu Fei walked back from getting a drink and he frowned. It was habit for him to get a drink when he woke up during the night, whether that was at midnight or five am, but no matter the hour he ended up passing Sun Xiang’s room, there would be light spilling out from under the door.
In fact, Qiu Fei noticed that Sun Xiang had seemed snappier recently, as if there was something weighing on him, the dark shadows under the eyes suggesting that. He mulled it over in his head for a few moments before he knocked on the door and it took a few moments before Sun Xiang answered, eyes narrowed and jaw set, as if he were readying himself for a fight.
“What do you want?” Qiu Fei kept his face as carefully disinterested as possibly, trying not to aggravate the other player any more than necessary.
“Isn’t it time to sleep?” Sun Xiang blinked a few times before his glare only strengthened, clearly unimpressed.
“You aren’t the captain, you aren’t even the vice-captain, why don’t you mind your own business?” Sun Xiang had taken a few steps forward, using his height to tower over him and Qiu Fei took a moment to roll his eyes internally.
“My apologies captain.” To Sun Xiang’s annoyance, Qiu Fei’s voice remained respectful, even as his eyes were bright with mockery and another emotion he couldn’t place. “I’ll leave you in peace.” Before Sun Xiang could figure out a response Qiu Fei had already left, glass of water in hand and he had the irrational urge to yell after him or slam his door.
He didn’t do either of these things, letting his door click shut softly before returning to his desk, sitting himself back down and picking his pen back up. Xiao Shiqin had helped flesh out the schedule for tomorrow’s training session, something he’d already signed off on but he still had to review his vice-captain’s tactics and he knew what everyone had been saying about him, what everyone was thinking.
That he wasn’t ready for this responsibility. That he wasn’t old enough, wasn’t experienced enough, didn’t know what he was doing and that Excellent Era was suffering because of him. That Ye Qiu would have kept his team from being relegated, that everything would have gone differently Ye Qiu hadn’t left.
Ye Qiu, Ye Qiu, Ye Qiu, the name ran over and over in Sun Xiang’s head, distracting him from what he needed to, he needed to review the tactics, he needed to be prepared for tomorrow, he needed to be able to keep up with Xiao Shiqin, needed to be able to hold his own, ensure he wasn’t undermined, he needed- he needed-
Sun Xiang woke up, still slumped over his desk, alarm blaring and he cursed, stumbling over his belongings to the bathroom. He had less than five minutes to make it to the training room and figure out how to look less like a nightmare before appearing in front of the team. He cursed again, rushing through his morning routine before sprinting down the corridor, arms full of his scribbled notes.
Qiu Fei knew that Sun Xiang had noticed him watching him, but he refused to stop watching him, taking in his dishevelled appearance and he hummed quietly to himself. Sun Xiang’s gaze snapped up from his papers, glancing up at Qiu Fei and he glared, eyes hot with fury but Qiu Fei could see the heavy shadows under his eyes and he blinked calmly at Sun Xiang until the other dropped his gaze.
“What the hell do you want?” Sun Xiang’s voice was sharp with frustration, pressing Qiu Fei against the wall, wondering why the other’s eyes hadn’t left him for the entirety of practice. His mind ran with a thousand different reasons that Qiu Fei could be watching him and none of them were good.
“Are you sleeping?” Qiu Fei watched as the anger flickered out in Sun Xiang’s eyes to be replaced with confusion before he tried to deny it.
“How is that any of your business, you don’t- you can’t tell me when to sleep- I’m not-“
“But are you sleeping?”
“If I say no will you come help me?” Sun Xiang scoffed at the thought, mockery obvious in the way he sneered, “will you come tuck me in and tell me to turn my light off?”
“Good idea,” Qiu Fei nodded, as if the decision was made, and he left without another word, leaving Sun Xiang to stare after him, unsure what that even meant.
Eventually he snapped back to reality and left the training room, still mulling over the conversation in his mind.
Sun Xiang had been distracted for the rest of the day, forcing his mind to stay focused on the endless paperwork that seemed to come with being captain, training reports, guild matters to address, tactical discussion, team synergy- the words swirled around in his mind over and over again, words blurring on the page until Sun Xiang’s jaw was tight with frustration, headache forming in his mind until he was tempted to just lay his head down and give up-
The knock on his door pulled him out of his thoughts and he tugged the door open only to find Qiu Fei standing before him, waiting patiently. The other spoke before he could, voice even and determined.
“It’s bedtime, the team is supposed to stick to the set schedule.” Sun Xiang simply stared, the shock of Qiu Fei actually appearing in his room to put him to bed keeping him docile until the door slid shut, noise bringing him back to himself.
“Why the hell do you care if I’m sleeping? Don’t you want me to fail?” Qiu Fei, once again, seemed as if he was refraining from rolling his eyes at Sun Xiang, pushing him towards the bathroom.
“Why would I want you to fail?”
“So your precious Ye Qiu can come back, so he can be captain again, like you want him to be! Like everyone in this team wants! Precious Ye Qiu, precious perfect Ye Qiu who can’t do anything wrong! Won’t he come back and fix everything with his mere presence because he’s just that perfect-!” Sun Xiang cut himself off, realising what he’d just said and his eyes flickered to Qiu Fei’s, waiting for the other’s reaction. Qiu Fei simply pushed him towards the bathroom once more, entire demeanour radiating calm.
“Go.”
Sun Xiang found himself staring at his own reflection in the mirror, wondering how much worse this day could get before it was over. He quickly banished the thought before it could settle in his head, certain that it would cause more misfortune to rain down upon him. Even if Qiu Fei wasn’t responding to his outburst Sun Xiang was certain that he was going to be speaking to Xiao Shiqin in the morning or maybe Tao Xuan, suggesting that he wasn’t fit for his position, that he couldn’t ever measure up-
Qiu Fei’s voice filtered through the door, endlessly calm and collected and Sun Xiang sucked in a sharp breath.
“Are you ready?” Sun Xiang’s gaze refused to shift from the floor and Qiu Fei waited until the other climbed into his bed, settling himself down to sleep and his next words were equally soft. “Goodnight captain.” For some reason, that word, from Qiu Fei, it calmed a little of the tangled emotions in his chest and Sun Xiang let his eyes slip closed, let himself forget about everything he had to do, everything he’d failed to do, and simply let himself fall asleep.
It became a habit, routine, for Qiu Fei to come to Sun Xiang’s room, wait for him to get ready for bed and then leave, offering a quiet goodnight captain before he left. And Sun Xiang seemed better for it, the dark shadows under his eyes receding, he seemed better. And Qiu Fei found himself noticing things he hadn’t noticed about the other before.
Like the way his nose wrinkled at the smell of his tea but he drank it anyway. The fact that his desk was covered in paper constantly, scribbled notes of everything he had to do scattered around. The way he frowned when something eluded him, the way his bottom lip would push out and the way he’d light up when he finally achieved what he wanted.
He was…cute. And Qiu Fei wasn’t sure what to do with that.
It was strange. The way Qiu Fei had seemingly appointed himself as the one in charge of Sun Xiang’s sleep. What was stranger was that Sun Xiang had let him. He could have slammed the door in his teammates face. Could have ignored the knock at his door and pretended that he didn’t want the other there.
But he was feeling better. Feeling like he was more under control, that maybe the role he’d stepped into wasn’t as overwhelming as it had once felt. And he found himself noticing things about Qiu Fei that he’d missed before.
Like the way his voice softened when he spoke to people he liked. The way he grinned when something brilliant happened in Glory. The way his head would tilt to one side when he was listening to Xiao Shiqin explain something. The way his voice was quiet and gentle when he said goodnight to him.
It made something in his chest warm. And Sun Xiang wasn’t sure what to do about it.
Sun Xiang found himself standing before Tao Xuan, the man complaining at him, demanding better results from the team, for them to be more effective, for them to train harder, to not slip in performance at all. He found himself the main target for the man’s blistering rant, complaining about how he didn’t fulfil the expectations placed upon him, that the faith offered to him had been disappointed, that everything he’d done wasn’t enough-!
Sun Xiang kept himself as calm as he could throughout the lecture, kept himself quiet and respectful even as the words buried themselves into his chest and burned. He held his tongue and kept his eyes on the ground until he was dismissed, hand flicking lazily, as if he wasn’t even worth the energy and Sun Xiang felt the tight bundle of emotions in his chest loosen until he wasn’t sure of what to do, the words playing over and over in his head-
He wasn’t sure when he made the decision to turn to Qiu Fei but the thought of the other, his calm presence was enough to convince him and he knocked on his door, hating the way his hands were trembling. Something flickered across Qiu Fei’s face when he saw him and he was bundled into his room quickly, hands gentle around his wrists and Sun Xiang let out a shuddering breath.
Qiu Fei brushed a thumb against Sun Xiang’s cheek, achingly careful and Sun Xiang wasn’t sure when he’d started crying, but the tears were warm against his skin and he found himself leaning into the touch, craving it and Qiu Fei’s voice was quiet when he spoke.
“What do you want?” And Sun Xiang wasn’t sure what to say, wasn’t sure what he wanted and so he simply pressed closer, wanting more of the gentle touch against his skin and Qiu Fei hummed soothingly, leading him over to the bed, rearranging his limbs until his face was pressed into the other’s skin, one of Qiu Fei’s hands in his hair, carding gently through the strands.
The sensation made a quiet pleased sound escape Sun Xiang’s throat and he pressed his face more securely into the crook of Qiu Fei’s neck, trying to escape the words still ringing in his ears. One arm tightens around his middle, making him feel secure and Qiu Fei continues to pet his hair, and the touch slowly soothed him to sleep, eyes heavy and sore with tears.
Sun Xiang woke up with a jolt, the events of the day coming back in a rush and he shifted, waking Qiu Fei with his movement and the two stared at one another for a few long moments. Qiu Fei couldn’t help but think that Sun Xiang looked adorable like this, hair ruffled and cheeks flushed pink and he waited for the other to break the silence.
“I don’t- I didn’t mean to- you didn’t tell me to leave.” Sun Xiang’s words made Qiu Fei frown, and he shifted on the bed, unsure of what he meant.
“Why would I tell you to leave?”
“Because you don’t like me?” And he didn’t mean to, didn’t mean to laugh, but the absurdity of the comment pulled a bark of laughter and Sun Xiang’s face clouded over with hurt and he was moving away before Qiu Fei reached out to grab his wrist, stopping him in his tracks.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to laugh, why do you think I don’t like you?” Sun Xiang seemed unwilling to give voice to his thoughts but Qiu Fei was willing to wait, keeping his eyes on him patiently until the other huffed out a breath.
“Fine, because I’m not Ye Qiu, I’m not him, and he’s not here and I am so why would you like me?” Qiu Fei took the opportunity to shuffle closer, bringing Sun Xiang’s hand to his face so he could press a gentle kiss to his wrist. He heard Sun Xiang’s breath stutter in his throat and he smiled, reaching up to cup the back of Sun Xiang’s neck, tugging him closer.
“I like you, I like you a lot,” Sun Xiang’s lips parted, as if he couldn’t believe what he was hearing and Qiu Fei continued, “can I kiss you?” His eyes gleamed when Sun Xiang nodded, and he tugged him into a gentle kiss, their lips meeting, Sun Xiang making a lovely gasping noise at the contact and Qiu Fei tugged him closer, not caring when they broke apart, not when Sun Xiang curled into his touch, burying his face in the crook of his neck once more.
“I like you too.” The words were muffled against his skin but Qiu Fei still caught them and he moved to press a kiss to Sun Xiang’s cheek, revelling in the blush that spread across the other’s skin.
“I’m glad, goodnight Sun Xiang.” And it’s such a little thing, such a little thing compared to everything else Qiu Fei had done for him, but that, saying his name instead of captain? It made Sun Xiang flush red and try and hide his smile in the curve of Qiu Fei’s neck. He was content. They were content and they slipped off to sleep, comforted by each other’s presence.