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Mrs. Knight looked tight behind the coffee table.
“It’s my responsibility as your mom and single parental figure for all of you guys to teach you-” she made a dramatic pause from her speech and pulled from behind the table a huge banana and a pack of condoms, “sexual education”.
“Mom!” Kendall winced.
“Is it really necessary?” Katie asked.
“We were taught this at school,” Logan said.
“And,” James added, “we’ve also had practice.”
Mrs. Knight peeled her eyes, alarmed. Kendall slapped his friend’s head on the back and Carlos face-palmed.
“I just wanted to throw another party,” Carlos whispered.
“Listen,” Mrs. Knight said, making eye contact with one at the time, “I trust all of your judgments,” she stopped at Carlos, “enough.” They all nodded. “But you have to understand you’re all teenagers and I’m worried about parental stuff! And even when you can find all of this online, I’ll only feel good with myself after I’ve told you this.” She smiled sympathetically.
Kendall poured.
“So,” her mom continued, “when a guy and a girl like each other it’s normal they want to engage in physical displays of affection. Like hugs, kisses-”
“Mom!” Katie arged. “We’re not twelve anymore.”
“Right. So as you know, you can get or getting someone pregnant if you don’t use condoms. You can also catch or spread an STI. So use them. I bought a whole package.”
She pulled from behind the sofa a large industrial box filled with dozens —maybe hundreds— of condom boxes.
“That’s…” Logan calculated. “More than enough condoms to cover our next three years of sex considering we have an active sexual life.”
“Which we don’t,” Carlos said.
“Speak for yourself,” James replied.
Now Logan and Kendall were the ones to look at him with their eyebrows raised.
“Just be smart,” Mrs. Knight said, “and don’t go crazy while I’m out of town.”
“It’ll just be a social gathering, mom,” Kendall said, voice calm.
-
Later that day in the crib, the five teenagers were still eating their dinosaur nuggets with fries when Mrs. Knight walked to the door pulling with a rolling suitcase.
“Well,” she said, “I’ll be here tomorrow at 10 am. Maybe sooner. Don’t get in trouble, alright?”
Kendall and his sister replied in unison “Yes, mom,” while the guys said “Yes, Mrs. Knight.”
Relaxing her stern and serious face, she happily exclaimed “I won an Instagram giveaway and I’m spending the night at an inn!”
They all cheered for her as she left. Immediately, the four guys switched their mood to:
Throwing the second Hollywood Super Party of Hollywood.
Except —Katie was still there.
“Baby sister,” Kendall said, “it is my duty to keep you safe and away from this crazy, extreme party we’re gonna throw”. She looked at him incredulously. “Wanna spend the night at Kyle’s and I won’t tell mom?”
She stared at him.
“And,” Kendall added, “We’ll get you…” He looked at his friends, gesturing with his hands. The four start rummaging their pockets, getting on the table some dollar bills and coins. “12 dollars and 15 cents?”
“I want the TV on Friday’s nights.”
“No, no way,” James answered. “That’s when I watch Keeping Up With The Kardashians.”
“James!” Kendall pushed.
Disappointed, James agreed. “Fine.”
Katie smiled contently.
Logan kept her eyes on her, and so did Carlos and James. And Kendall.
“Okay! I’m gonna leave now!” She raised her hands, standing from her seat. She grabbed her phone and went to the door.
“Call me if he gets too creative, okay? I want him 15 inches away from you!” Kendall told her as she left.
She’d probably be back later for her stuff, but they had enough time to do their planning.
Logan got from somewhere (under the table? His pockets? Who cared!) some complicated graphics and lists and-
“What does this mean?” Carlos asked.
“I don’t know either,” Logan said. He turned it around and, with a pen Kendall did see he got from his shirt pocket, he started writing on the blank paper.
“The first step is getting the booze,” James said.
“Are you insane?” Logan asked. “We’re gonna get in huge trouble if someone finds out!”
“Logie, dear friend,” James said, hand on his shoulder, “we’re not in Kansas anymore. We already threw an amazing first party over a year ago and we have to level up our game.”
“I’ve never drunk before,” Carlos said. He sounded scared. “What if I die?”
“Even if we decided to buy alcohol,” Kendall said, “which is a terrible idea, how would we get it?”
“Camille with a costume?” Logan suggested, shrugging. “Although I wouldn’t want her to risk herself with this.”
“How old would I look with a fake mustache?” James asked.
“Asking Buddah Bob?” Carlos tried.
“No way we’re asking an adult for this. They’ll sell us to Mrs. Knight,” Logan said.
“Tree hats?” Carlos asked.
“We’re not gonna steal!” Kendall said. “Fake IDs?”
“That’s illegal!” Logan said.
“Isn’t all of this?” James said.
They all looked expectantly at Logan. He obliged, “I gotta get new friends”.
-
Kendall walked into the liquor store as his relaxed, usual 21-years-old-self would. He was far enough from the Palm Woods to fear running into someone they knew, and his friends were just across the street making sure everything was under control.
He pretended like he knew what he was doing. After all their research and what they’ve learned from Minnesota's soccer team, they’d decided to buy according to three parameters: quality, alcoholic grade, and brand —James stated that if they happened to die of alcoholic intoxication, at least it would look fancy.
The alcoholic grade and the quality were also important because, after all, it was their only way of measuring how drunk they could get. None of them had a death wish and, given their lack of experience, they wanted to be careful.
“What does he think he’s doing?” Carlos asked Logan, behind some bushes on the opposite street.
James replied. “I think he’s picking the most elegant bottle. Look, he’s picking one up.”
“Shh!” Logan hushed. “Let’s just wait in silence before anyone sees us.”
Some pedestrians turned around, but only noticed a set of leaves moving down.
Kendall walked all the isles twice before finally making a decision. Maybe he would’ve gone over the whole place a third time if he wasn’t worried it would look suspicious.
At the cashier, a forty-year-old looking man, he pulled up two six-packs of beers —he and Carlos had always thought beers looked cool— a bottle of rum, and another one of vodka.
He’d just put them on the counter when his phone rang. It was James.
“Yeah?”
“Dude, what’s taking so long?”
Kendall smiled tightly. “It’s all good, yes, grandma.”
“What?”
Logan snatched the phone. “Hello? What’s up?”
“Hi, auntie. I told grandma I’m okay.”
“Did you get everything?”
“If you’d just let me.”
The cashier threw Kendall a look with half-closed eyes. Kendall felt his forehead getting sweaty.
“Gotta go, bye!”
He hung up the phone and put it away in his pocket.
“Won’t you get anything to mix them with?” The cashier asked.
“Yeah,” Kendall answered, like he still got it. “Of course”.
When he noticed the cashier wasn’t moving to get him anything, he shook off his panic and walked to the freezers to grab a large coke and orange juice bottle.
“Here,” he said, back at the cashier.
“ID?”
There. The moment of truth. The one where his destiny and possible reformatory attendance were defined. He fumbled a little to get his wallet outside of his back pocket. He got his (fake) ID from it and handed it to the man.
“...Kendork… Stillsman?”
Kendall grimaced. “I know, right? Don’t judge my mom, it was all my dad.”
“I bet.”
The man handed him back the ID and Kendall started counting the bills. It was a pricey transaction but what else could they spend their Rocque Records paychecks on if it wasn’t some irresponsible superstar lifestyle?
A lot of things, yeah, but it was only once, alright!
When he handed the man the money, he was focusing his eyes on a security monitor in front of him.
“Are those bushes… moving?” He tried to look past Kendall, to a side where the door of the local was placed.
Kendall noticed with the side of his sights Logan trying to stop a fight between Carlos and James.
“Whaaaat? No,” he said, matter-of-factly. “What’s that?” He pointed to the opposite direction. He grabbed the bottes on the counter and left the bills there. “Keep the change!”
Managing as much as he could with the bottles, he ran out of the store.
“What’s going on?!”
James, Carlos and Logan ran from behind the bushes, still wearing the tree hats, in the same direction as Kendall.
They ran almost four blocks before Kendall slowed down, crossed the street, met his friends and they all caught their breaths.
“Take your stupid booze,” Kendall said, panting, handing them the bottles.
“Nice,” James said, reading the rum bottle.
“Now what?” Carlos asked.
“Now we get these in the resistant and opaque backpacks I brought and we head back to the Palm Woods,” Logan said.
“I really hope that party is worth it,” Kendall said, taking his hands from his knees and following his friends to the hotel.
-
They’d just went into the lobby when they came across Jo and Camille. It was the perfect time to invite them to their party —as long as they made sure Bitters didn’t hear them.
“Hey, guys!” Jo cheered.
“Ladies,” James said.
Camille gave a little reverence, like a princess. Logan smiled at her.
“Didn’t you guys hear?” Camille asked.
“What?” Logan said.
“There’s gonna be a rock festival tonight. Sweet Poison Ivy is gonna play and it’s gonna be amazing. Everyone will be there.”
“Actually, we’re gonna-” Carlos started.
Kendall pushed him with his elbow. “We’re gonna have a discussion. About our plans. Right now. Later!”
Kendall rushed them past the girls, to the elevator, and to their apartment.
“What was that about?” Carlos asked. “I thought we were gonna invite them to our party.”
“Dude, Sweet Poison Ivy?!” Kendall protested. “Not even this crazy amount of liquor and outcool Sweet Poison Ivy. No one’s gonna come to our party.”
“So what now? We return this to the store?” James asked.
“No way, we can’t go back there,” Kendall said.
“Indeed,” Logan said.
“So?” Carlos insisted. “It’s not like we can hide this in our room and your mom won’t find it until we get a new chance to throw another party.”
“We have an inside social gathering and get drunk for the first time like the best friends we are?” Kendall suggested, unconvinced.
They all shook their heads in disbelief. There was no way that would make up for their amazing party.
-
"This could be worse, okay?" Logan said, skipping their own song on the stereo. "Don't we have like ANYTHING ELSE?!"
“Relax, alright?” Kendall said, coming to the living room from the kitchen with two uncapped beer bottles in each hand. “The night is young.”
“Try this,” James handed Logan his phone.
It had Spotify open. “Best hits of the decade?”
“It’s a great playlist, okay?” James promised.
Logan shrugged, not having a better option to propose. He connected the phone to the stereo and hit play.
“Oh, I love that song!” Carlos shared, as Fire Burning started playing.
Katie was safe and sound at Kyle’s, with his mother watching closely over them.
The guys skipped the concert giving an excuse about Gustavo needing them for something ‘urgent’ and, for Logan’s peace of mind, all doors and windows were locked and the worst accident possible was not making it to the bathroom when they inevitably had to throw up.
Kendall handed them each a beer. Their first beers. Ever. They all raised them.
“For more adventures, with or without booze and illegal stuff,” Carlos said.
“For those adventures to turn out well,” Logan said.
James thought for a moment before speaking. “You know what? For more adventures, period.”
“For the best friends I could ever ask for,” Kendall finished.
They all took a sip of their bottles. At the same time (very poetic, actually), they all winced.
“Gross!” Logan exclaimed.
“How do adults drink this all the time?” James asked.
“I think it gets better eventually,” Kendall said.
Carlos took a second sip, this one longer.
… Way longer.
“Carlos!”
He put the empty bottle on the coffee table. “Yeah, it didn’t get much better.”
He practically fell on the couch behind him and started giggling.
“This is gonna be interesting,” Logan said.
By the time they were each on their third and last beer, they were finally enjoying it a little. Also —the alcohol was starting to hit them.
“And then I went to her place and I did that girl like there was no to-mo-rrow,” James completed some Minnesota highschool story he’d been saying for the last ten minutes.
“TMI!” Kendall said, snapping his eyes shut, wanting to erase the image in his head.
“So zz -that was yo-uhr first, huh?” Carlos said, pointing to the ridiculous huge box of condoms in a corner of the room.
James, looking already dizzy and being too honest, replied, “Oh, Roxy was my first and, to this date, is the only girl in the pants… in her pants I got-”
“In whose pants you’ve gotten yourself into,” Logan finished. He sounded tired, confused.
“That,” James said.
“What? So it- was all an act earlier?” Carlos sounded offended.
“I,” Kendall announced, “will get us more drinks while you talk.”
“Well, isn’t it more than what you’ve got?” James told him.
“That’s rude!” There was a moment of clarity and hurt in his voice. Then it was gone: “It’s… not fair, I don’t have ‘the’ face,” Carlos complained.
“Don’t start him with the face,” Logan said, face-palming lazily.
James got on the couch with a single jump and started singing something he’d just made up. Kendall looked at them with nostalgic feelings on his chest. The living room for themselves, stories, and snacks, it was too much like the old times. Before fame and before L.A.
Yeah, he definitely would be the wipey drunk.
He served two drinks of orange juice with vodka, and two of coke with rum. Maybe they’d switch? That sounded like a bad idea, but it wasn't like the ideas that had led them to that moment were exactly bright. And they’d ended up well, and they were having a fantastic time.
Two glasses on each hand, he went back to the couch. He gave James and Carlos the rum, keeping the vodka for Logan and himself.
“You at least did it with Jo, right?” James asked him.
“Are you still talking about sex? C’mon guys, that’s private,” Kendall said.
“Dude,” Carlos said. “We’re your best frien… ds.”
“I gotta say I’m curious,” Logan blinked himself awake and supported James and Carlos.
Kendall sighed. “No, I didn’t do it with Jo.”
“What?” They all asked.
“We just, you know-”
“Gave each other oral sex?” Logan wondered.
“Mutually masturbated?” James tried.
“Uhh… made out?” Carlos said.
“I just got to-” Wow, he really liked keeping this stuff private. “To finger her.”
“Wow,” Logan said. “Didn’t get that far with Camille.” Logan loved the drink in his hands. “Dude, what did you put into this? It’s great.”
“Really? Just orange juice and vodka.”
“I think I love vodka.”
Logan gave another large sip and felt like the world around him started moving, and balancing, and wow this was even better now. Was this tripping? He thought that was tripping, indeed.
“Don’t drink so fast, man. This is stronger than beers,” Kendall told him. He felt the effect on himself with the very first sip of the drink.
“Right, dude,” Logan said, even when he listened to everything like an echo in his head.
“Incredible. In total, we don’t collect even a single blowjob. This is terrible ,” James said.
“The time will come,” Carlos said.
“The right time will come,” Kendall corrected. “Rushing things in general… that never turns out well.”
“Camille always rushes,” Logan babbled. He didn’t seem aware of the conversation happening around him. “She’s respectful ‘n stuff, but-”
“She really wants to get in your pants?” James asked.
“Sex is scary,” Logan said. He rested his head on the couch, leaning his head back.
“Scary how?” Kendall asked. Now he was curious, and vodka hooked him too and maybe two consecutive sips had him a little over-excited with the taboo topic.
The question had been for Logan, but Carlos answered. “Like, what do you do?”
“Oh, I can explain to you what-” James stood on his feet and Kendall pulled him back down. “ Not necessary, alright?”
“She’s so eager but maybe we shouldn’t date anymore,” Logan said, eyes on the ceiling. Kendall, although dizzy himself, noticed Logan’s glass was near empty, besides the ice cubes still filling the glass.
“You know what?” Kendall said, standing up.
“What?” Carlos asked.
“We should sweat what we’ve had so far with some…” He went to the TV, looking for behind the Blu-Ray and some videogames. He finally grabbed a microphone and pulled it out. “Karaoke!”
“ Girl, my eyes, and, girl, my mind, it never stops after it starts, ” Kendall sang the early century’s hit with fire and soul. He felt like he was on stage, rocking the show, imagining actual fans other than his best friends clapping and singing along with him.
After the song finished, he bowed to his loyal audience as James stood up.
“Not bad,” James said. “Now gimme that,” he asked for the mic, Kendall took his seat next to Carlos, and the most famous song of Boyz in the Attic started playing.
“BIA gives me nightmares,” Logan admitted. “It’s like our destiny in some twisted alternate reality.”
Carlos sang along with James, and Kendall had to acknowledge it was a good song.
He still felt dizzy and, given the tiredness on Logan’s face and the quirky excitement in Carlos’, he would bet there was still plenty of singing and dancing to do if they intended to sober up like that.
Kendall was not sure of how long had passed when a loud crash startled him awake.
It was still dark outside and some old Katy Perry hit still played on the speakers. He turned around, blurry vision focusing until it made out Logan’s face behind the kitchen counter looking at the floor disappointedly.
“Dude,” Kendall said, actually sounding and feeling himself sober. He stood up to help him, but the moment he was on his feet, it was like the floor underneath trembled a little bit. His head spinned a little, but he made it to the counter. “Dude.”
“I think this is what being drunk feels like, huh,” Logan said, eyes on the floor. Kendall leaned on the counter and noticed the mess that had woken him up. “Thank God it was plastic, right?” Logan grinned, resting his upper body on the counter.
Kendall turned to the couches on his feet again, getting used to the adrenaline of tripping on his feet anytime from now, eyebrows furrowed. “Where are James and Carlos?”
“Carlos is sleeping in swirly and I think James passed out in the bathroom. He threw up like twenty minutes ago. It was only me left standing.”
Maybe it was the dim light, and the hour of the day, so early in the AM, and the fact that he was drunk as fuck, but Logan looked incredibly cute and beautiful even when he was probably even more smashed than Kendall himself.
“C’mon,” Kendall said, walking on quicksand to Logan. “We’ll take care of that in a couple of hours.”
He put an arm around Logan’s shoulders, helping him to walk, or so he thought. It actually helped himself more than it helped Logan, but they balanced together until they made it to the orange, soft, comfortable, amazing, friendly couch.
God, Kendall loved that couch.
They fell heavy on the cushions, close but not too much to one another.
“Man, it’s crazy,” Logan said, “everything we’ve done since we moved to L.A…. our lives will never be the same, you know?”
“Oh, I know. Maybe we’ll be rich someday, and have a private jet, and travel around the world-”
“And visit old civilizations!”
“And the Niagara Falls!”
There was a moment of silence. Kendall had homesickness-y feelings again. He couldn’t help but think of their first victory on a hockey court, and then remembering their first concert and get goosebumps all over his body included.
“And the best is I’ve got to live it all with you,” Logan said.
“Yes, I mean, I love you all.”
“I love you too.”
“Wow, we’re so romantic, aren’t we?”
“Bromantic?” Logan said, turning to Kendall, a slight smirk on his lips.
“Romantic. I love you very very much.”
Logan let out a breath, maybe of relief. “It’s not like I don’t wanna date Camille ‘cause I wanna date you.”
“What?”
“What? You said something about travelling?”
“Right, to the Niagara Falls. I told you. I love you and how drunk do you think we are? This shit is measurable, right?”
The words sounded weird in Kendall’s voice.
“Swearing.”
“Come again?”
“You’re swearing. We never swear.”
“I guess booze is turning me a bad boy like that time, remember-”
“Oh, I remember, Kendall. I remember.”
Some alarm like a fire was going off rang loudly in the apartment at 7 am.
Carlos slid down Swirly, James opened the bathroom door looking refreshed, and Kendall and Logan quickly jumped to his feet. They all exchanged looks and looked around at the mess they’ve made —a spilled drink in the kitchen, bowls and bags of snacks on the coffee table, crumbs all over the place, empty beer bottles in a corner…
It only looked stupidly worse with the box of condoms in a corner.
“First things first, guys,” Logan said, walking to the kitchen.
He got from the fridge four glasses, filled to the top, with a green beverage inside.
They all gathered around the counter.
“What is that?” Kendall asked.
“And why does it smell like death?” James added.
“Just drink it so we won’t feel sick, alright?”
“One long shot!” Carlos screamed, and they all grabbed a glass and poured it down their throats feverishly, as quickly as they could.
Their faces were even more tangled up than after they’d tasted beer for the first time.
“Please tell me it’s gonna be worth it,” Kendall said, going for a glass of water.
“Oh, it will when you don’t feel nauseous anymore. There’s Advil in the bedroom if our head hurts later. Now...”
They all looked at him expectantly.
“The clean-up part!”
“Clean-up mission!” They exclaimed and got to work.
Just like when they had to fix everything that day in Gustavo’s mansion, they divided the work and, appreciating everything Mrs. Knight taught them, they embraced the brushes, brooms and mops to turn the 2J into a respectable place again.
Katie returned later in the morning, right on time before her mother did too. Mrs. Knight was radiating sunlight and peace when she arrived, and she was happy to realize nothing bad had happened during her absence.
She never had to know they’d all gotten drunk and participated in the felony of buying the alcohol with fake IDs. She really could live without knowing that.
The only thing that bothered Kendall was the one obvious thing about last night: what Logan told him.
Kendall doubted he could trust his fuzzy memory, but what if it hadn’t been a product of his imagination? What if his best friend did want to date him? It wasn’t like he hadn’t considered it before.
He just never thought about it because they were all friends and it was weird and complicated. Because none of them had ever discussed or even questioned their orientation!
Maybe Logan had meant something else. Or maybe he didn’t even say it! The only sure thing Kendall remembered was I Kissed a Girl on the background and hey okay that was pretty ironic and especially unuseful-
“Hey, bud-” Logan stopped in his tracks when Kendall almost threw his spoon over the air.
“Hey, friend. Buddy. Best bud,” Kendall said, awkwardly. They hadn’t really been alone after last night.
Logan frowned. He seemed cool. “Are you okay? What were you thinking about so focused?”
Kendall brushed it off. “Oh, nothing? Why do you think I was considering, thinking… you know, something so much?”
Yeah, now he was just getting deeper in his mess. Logan looked so clueless it confirmed Kendall everything must’ve been a product of his creative imagination with the addition of vodka.
“O-kay…” Logan didn’t seem to believe him, but Kendall couldn’t blame him. “I’m going to Camille’s to watch a movie.” He pointed with his thumb to the door. Kendall nodded. “Are you sure everything’s okay?”
“As okay as ever!” Kendall lifted and grabbed the empty cereal bowl from the table. “Didn’t you say you wanted to be only her friend?”
“Friends watch movies.”
Kendall put the bowl in the sink. “Gotcha. Friends and everything, consider taking one of those with you,” he pointed with his chin to the brown industrial box in the corner.
“Gross! I won’t need them.” Logan walked to the door, Kendall washed the bowl.
He had to admit to himself he was very confused right now.
Logan really liked Camille, there was no point in denying that.
He enjoyed her company, and her jokes, and she was so pretty! Of course he liked her.
That was the reason he agreed on joining her to watch one of their favorite movies, Back to the Future.
But the whole situation felt a little wrong to him. He knew they didn’t have a stable relationship and agreeing to hang out alone to watch a movie with her certainly would lead to confusion.
He liked her, yes, but he would never like her as much as he liked Kendall. He didn't even “like” Kendall. He loved him. In fact, he was in love with him.
And how terrible was it to know you were in love with your best friend and still trying to move past it as you dated a really nice and adorable girl? She deserved better than that.
He regretted accepting her invitation only a tiny bit when she rested her head on his shoulder. He had no idea how to react to avoid misleading her without being rude.
He kissed her forehead, knowing she’d get a message accurate enough, and she stayed there nonetheless without going anywhere further.
After leaving Camille’s, Logan went for a walk in the Palm Woods Park.
Taking some fresh air and being by himself always helped him to clear his head.
Besides, he really didn't feel like being in the apartment right now. Things were kind of weird before he left.
Maybe he’d acted off last night while he was drunk?! Luckily, that wasn’t the case.
He was enjoying his pink smoothie on a bench when he almost had a heart attack.
“Logan!” Carlos whispered.
“Carlos? Where are you?”
“Here, behind the tree.”
He sneaked out from behind it, wearing a tree hat.
“Why are you hiding?”
“I think a ninja is following me.”
Classic Carlos answer.
“Oh. What kind of ninja?”
“A dangerous one.”
Logan nodded, although Carlos was back behind the tree again and couldn’t see him.
“You know,” Carlos commented, still with his voice low, “last night I had a lot of fun.”
“Me too. We didn’t get arrested or killed, so it exceeded my expectations.”
“I… There’s no good way of saying this, bud, but I kinda overheard your conversation with Kendall last night.”
Logan giggled. “Oh, it’s fine, Carlos. We probably talked pure nonsense.”
“And you said you liked him. As in, date-liking him.”
Logan spit the smoothie in his mouth. “Whaaat? See! Nonsense!”
He panicked, started hyperventilating, and felt desperate for more details. “Do you happen to remember what I said? And how Kendall responded? Which, obviously doesn’t matter ‘cause of course I don’t like him, but just out of curiosity.”
Carlos showed his face again. “Logan, he remembers.”
Logan felt all the blood on his body going to his legs. He was afraid. He wanted to run. He felt in danger. Now he was gonna have that heart attack. It all made sense.
Logan grabbed Carlos by his wrist and dragged him outside of his hiding spot. “We’re gonna have this conversation somewhere else.”
Once in a pool cabain, Logan sat Carlos on a chair and took a seat in front of him.
“Now, what do you know?”
“I didn’t remember it until he asked me if I happened to have listened what you two talked. He wanted to know if you said something along the lines of ‘Not dating Camille ‘cause you wanted to date him’, and it rang in my head! I wasn’t asleep at the moment, I was playing The Snake on my phone, in Swirly.”
“And?”
“And what?”
“And what did you tell him?”
“I said I didn’t, alright? But I don’t like lying to my friends!”
“Well, but you’re covering me, and I’m your friend too.”
“Didn’t you say it was not true?”
“It’s not! Of course.”
“So what if he knows you said that?”
“It’s gonna be weird, okay? So let’s forget about it and do not, Carlos, do not tell him you remember. Nor James.”
“Okay, okay. But just so you know, even if it were true, I don’t think he’d freak out. I didn’t freak out when I remembered. I think it’s cute.”
“But it doesn’t matter because it’s not true!”
“Sure. Yeah, I know, alcohol talk and everything.”
“And Carlos.”
“Yeah?”
“Thank you for telling me.”
Kendall wasn’t lucky: Carlos didn’t listen to them. Because, of course, he’d been passed out. God, the more time passed, the more difficult it was to remember details of their conversation, and to have clearness and certainty about if it happened or not.
His mom was with Katie on a sale at the mall, but he knew if he asked her for advice she’d tell him to confront him and ask him directly if he’d said that or not.
He was watching New Town High in the living room when Logan walked through the door.
Kendall turned off the TV and walked to Logan.
“Hey!”
“Oh, hi, Kendall.” He seemed a little nervous, but regular-Logan enough. “What’s up?”
“Actually I wanted to talk to you.”
Logan’s eyes widened. “Oh, wh-what happened?”
“Last night was very crazy and all-”
“Yeah-”
“And I think we said some things…”
“Some things? What kind of things?”
“The thing I don’t know if we actually said them or if I’m making them up with my mind.”
“What kind of things?” Logan insisted.
“I don’t know. Don’t you remember anything?”
“We all told Minnesota stories and passed out.”
“Yeah, but later you spilled a drink and it was only us, remember?”
“Right! When I said we’d be rich, right?”
“Yeah!”
“Is that what worries you?”
“No- uhm- do you remember saying anything about us?” Kendall’s face was serious. It’d taken a lot of his courage to finally say it.
“About us? I don’t think I said anything about the band.”
“No, not the band, but us. You and me.”
“Not at all. Did I say something that offended you? Should I apologize?”
“No, not at all-”
“Because you must know if I said something that might have offended you, it was completely out of drunkenness. Bleep blap bloop.” Logan laughed nervously.
Kendall nodded. Maybe Logan thought it wasn’t mutual?
“Yeah, of course, I know.”
“So we’re good, right? And we can forget anything stupid we could’ve said last night?” Logan’s eyes widened as he grimaced
“R-right. Yeah.” Logan started leaving. “Hey,” Kendall stopped him. “How did it go? With Camille.”
“Cool. The movie was as good as the first time.”
“Did you kiss?”
“Uh-ehr. No.”
“Oh.”
“I told you we were friends!”
“Of course!”
“Well, bye!”
“BYE!”
Logan went outside the apartment again as James came walking from the bedrooms. “What was that about?”
“Do you think Logan… maybe like-likes guys?”
James opened the fridge and shrugged. “Oh, I know he like-likes you.”
“What?”
“Didn’t we all pretend we don’t know that and never mention it?” James served himself a glass of water.
“What do you mean by we all pretend we don’t know? Logan is into me?”
“Dude, do you have eyes ?”
“What?! Who knows?”
“Carlos and I, and Logan, but he doesn’t know we know, and he certainly doesn’t know you know.”
“How come you and Carlos know he’s into me? How come you never told me?”
James scoffed. “Dude, we thought it was evident.”
“Evident?!”
“He gave you a heart-shaped cookie on Valentine's Day. You know which was the shape of my cookie? A square. And not even a nice square.”
Kendall felt so terrible all of the sudden. “He’s seen me date so many girls!”
“Well, he has Camille.”
Kendall shook his head. “He’s not into Camille.”
“Why are you so sure?”
“You don’t remember anything from last night, do you?”
“I remember telling the Roxy story and singing on the couch.”
“Yeah, you don’t remember anything. You know what, nevermind, this is a conversation I must have with him.”
Kendall knocked on Logan’s bedroom door at night. He had two mugs of hot chocolate with him and he hoped that would be enough to ease the tension between them.
Logan opened the door, what looked like a documentary paused on the TV behind him.
“Hi,” Logan said softly.
“Hey, friend. Hot chocolate?”
He accepted it. “Thank you.”
“Listen, can we talk?”
“Yeah, sure.”
Logan let him in, closed the door and they both sat on the bed.
“Listen, I want to apologize if I made you feel weird earlier with my questions.”
“It’s okay, dude. I was a bit jumpy, too.”
“The thing is I remember. And I know you remember too.”
“Listen-”
“Wait. You don’t have to apologize.”
“Of course I have to apologize.” Logan sighed, licked his lips with his eyes on the floor. “I don’t want to ruin our friendship because of something I said while I was drunk.”
“But did you mean it?”
“Why does it matter?”
“Why wouldn’t it?”
“Because you obviously don’t feel the same way about me!”
Kendall took a deep breath and took a sip of his chocolate. Logan seemed to remember about that too and did the same.
“This is very good, by the way,” Logan complimented him.
There was a silence in the room. It set in and fitted well between them. Finally, Logan said something.
“I don’t want you to be sorry for me.”
“I’m not. I…” Kendall put a hand on Logan’s shoulder. “I don’t know why you never told me this. I know I never did because I was too afraid of losing you.”
“Tell me what?”
“That it is mutual, man!”
Logan frowned. “Is it?”
“Yeah. Like heck it is.”
Kendall was going to take his hand off Logan, but Logan grabbed it. “This is insane.”
“Yes.”
“Can we kiss now?”
“Yes.”
They started leaning in slowly, almost in slow motion.
“I’m nervous,” Logan said.
Kendall giggled. “Me too.”
When their faces were less than an inch apart, Kendall opened his eyes and rested his forehead on Logan's.
“But we don’t have to be,” Kendall said.
Logan nodded, closed his eyes and closed the small gap between their lips. It was quick and short.
They kissed again, more firmly, for a couple of seconds.
Logan smiled widely. “I liked that.”
“Me too.”
They pulled apart and took a breath.
“Did you know Carlos and James knew you liked me?”
“What?”
The bedroom door swung open. James and Carlos fell over each other and started fighting on the floor.
“It was your fault-”
“No, you-”
“Guys!” Kendall exclaimed.
Carlos and James smile sheepishly.
“Are you looking for something?” Kendall asked.
“So you two-” Carlos started, pointing between the two. “Didn’t-”
“Yes,” Logan said, annoyed, standing up from the bed.
James smiled and pumped his fist in the air in the name of victory. “Yes! Finally!”
Kendall put an arm around Logan’s shoulder. Logan tried not to feel embarrassed and smiled.
“Now what?” Carlos asked.
“Now, dear friends,” Kendall said, “we celebrate with more hot chocolate”.
They went to the living room, turned on the TV and enjoyed their Saturday night.
They probably wouldn’t buy booze anytime soon, but they couldn’t deny something great had come out of their Internal Big Time Social Gathering.