Work Text:
“Come with me.”
Childe looked down at the face— his face. Though it wasn’t really him. It did have an eerie resemblance though, looking pale and lifeless down below him. He didn’t want to think of how Zhongli managed to make a body that wasn’t his look so much like him, but he figured that working as the consultant for Wangsheng came in handy at times like this.
It wasn’t the first time he had faked a death.
“We will need to leave tomorrow.” He turned to look at the direction of the voice. Zhongli stood at the doorway, keeping his distance from Childe as if he was afraid he’d shatter if he got too close. “We’ll leave the body at Northland bank and then seek refuge elsewhere.”
Childe nodded and looked back at the body, bloodied and equipped in his clothing. Even his mask, which now had a large crack down the center, laid resting in his hair. It could have easily been him truly lying there, and he never thought he was afraid of death until it was staring him in the face with eyes of cor lapis. He knew that Zhongli wasn’t going to kill him, but he could have, the point of his spear edging so close to his neck.
“Come with me. Or stay here. Whatever you choose.”
Staying at the Golden House without retrieving the archon of geo’s gnosis would be a definite death sentence. The harbingers weren’t ever meant to lose, and by the Tsaritsa’s expectations, not even against the archaic god of war. Staying in the Golden House meant going back to Snezhnaya, and going back to Snezhnaya meant dying gruesomely.
So even while Childe had thought he would never fear death, spending time in Liyue had given him something more to live for than merely staying alive.
“I’m sorry.”
Childe breathed out sharply, turning towards the god. He had come closer, hovering close but still keeping his distance. He couldn’t blame Zhongli, not after what happened just over twenty-four hours earlier.
“What for? I’m the one who tried to kill you.”
“But I’m the one who almost killed you.”
“You were never going to kill me.”
Zhongli paused, finally making a move and grabbing his hand. He was warm, like all of Liyue, and so very different from the frigid Snezhnaya. “You’re right. I could never kill you. Even if we did that all again, I don’t think I could bear the action.”
His eyes were so sincere. It made Childe’s stomach twist, the way that the other man was able to bare himself so openly to him. And it made him feel impossibly hot.
“I’m sorry. For trying to kill you. And for putting you in this situation now.”
“Please, you have no need to apologize. I knew who you were the second you arrived here and still I don’t regret a thing. It doesn’t matter to me what we have to do, after all I’ve been in hiding before.”
“Yeah, in plain sight.”
Zhongli laughed at that, really laughed , his eyes turning to crescents. Childe let himself smile for the first time since yesterday, seeing the man like this. It made him feel like maybe he didn’t ruin everything between them. “Yes, I suppose. But sometimes that is the best way. Let’s go, we can deal with everything tomorrow.”
The two walked back to Zhongli’s lodging under the cover of the night, when there was no one to see them and alert the Qixing or remaining Fatui in the city. The harbour was gorgeous at nighttime, soft light illuminating the beautiful architecture and the sounds of the ocean giving Childe a calming presence. Somehow he felt safer here than at home, even with all that was happening to him now. Being in a cryo nation with a hydro vision left him vulnerable enough, and to add the atmosphere of the people on top of that left everyone guarded. He was free in Liyue, as free as an member of the Fatui could be in an enemy state, and he had grown to cherish that in the past months.
He thought about how there was no way of him going back home. He would miss Tonia and Teusel, and he didn’t want to imagine what their reactions to finding out out their big brother was dead would be like. I’ll be putting them through hell . Though it was better for them to think he died like this than by falling out of the Tsaritsa’s good graces and disappointing her. His siblings were strong, but he hoped there would be a way to get back to them.
Back in Zhongli’s room, the two of them lied together, both unable to sleep knowing how they had to leave in several hours. But being with him made Childe feel comforted. Being with him was different from anything he had experienced before. The other made it seem as if he was the god to be cherished and worshipped, like everything he ever did was sacred and beautiful and had meaning. Like he was the centre of his universe and not just someone that could be replaced at the snap of finger to the next person in the queue.
He knows he shouldn’t have gotten attached but he just couldn’t help himself.
“Why,” he asked. “Why are you doing this for me? I betrayed you in the worst way possible and still you don’t despise me. Why?” There had been a lot more he wanted to ask, but was unsure how to vocalize. Questions of what he meant to the god, of how he was so lucky to be in his presence.
Zhongli hummed, intertwining their fingers together, the connection grounding. “I understood your inner turmoil. I knew you were sincere in all the things you shared with me. I know you were reluctant and you had a contract to uphold. and like I said earlier, I knew who you were the moment you arrived at the harbour, and still I loved you despite all of that. I could not help the way I felt for you before nor can I do that now, and I’m sure you understand this.”
Childe understood the feeling far too well. The heart wants what it wants .
Zhongli’s hand came to rest on his cheek, thumb catching on a tear. “Don’t cry. Everything will be fine.” He held Childe like he would lose him, gentle but firm touches to cement the fact that he was still with him, that he would do anything to keep them together. An embrace that seemed scorching, like being in it for too long would consume his entire being. Soft I love you s whispered into his skin like the god may never get the chance to say them again. Over time it had become incredibly easy for Childe to say the words back to the man, and he let himself indulge in the emotion that evolved from infatuation to love to adoration. He adored Zhongli to the point where he couldn’t imagine what it was like to be without him. Childe wondered what he had done in a past life to deserve this fate. To be so in love with a god but have to run from another.
The two left at the break of dawn, leaving once Aether came back to relay the news of him depositing the body on the front steps on the bank.
“I didn’t do it for you,” the blond boy snapped. He was angry, for good reason, because Childe had told him he was only kind of a bad guy, and he still failed to reach the traveller’s already low expectations of him.
“Then thank you for doing it for him. I’m sorry for this, and I hope you find your sister.” Before he and his companion could get away, he grabbed the boy’s arm, looking him deep in the eyes. “And word of advice. If you meet any other Fatui, don’t make the mistake you made here. Not all of them are as nice as i am.”
Aether nodded, freeing his arm from Childe’s grip and running off in the direction of the harbour. He figured the boy and Paimon were heading to Inazuma, and while the Fatui’s grip was not strong there, the state had problems of its own.
“We should go, before it becomes too light.”
“Where will be going, anyway,” Childe asked as he shouldered the bag Zhongli handed him.
“I was thinking Sumeru for the time being. Mondstadt has a high density of Fatui since Barbatos’ gnosis was taken and Inazuma is impregnable to outsiders. Since I’m not positive about the conditions in all the nations, we can look around for some time. If the need arises we can always travel to Khaenri’ah.”
Childe raised his eyebrows. The land where the gods’ gaze does not fall.
“It would only be as a last resort.”
“Maybe it should be a first. What better place to hide from the gods than where they never look.”
“Perhaps you’re right. I have no objections, so if it is what you choose, we may go.”
“Then let’s go.”
The two set off, and Childe wished he could see the harbour one last time.