Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Tenya Iida created the group chat “Class 1-A!”

Tenya Iida added Izuku Midoriya, Fumikage Tokoyami, and 18 others to the chat!

Tenya Iida: as horrible as I think this idea is, Aizawa-sensei forced me to make this to increase communication among our class.

Tenya Iida: That being said, please don’t make me regret doing this. Keep it school-appropriate and don’t make me call the police

Denki Kaminari: hey Sero, wanna use some heroin with me?

Hanta Sero: Oh Boy DO I!!

Tenya Iida:

Tenya Iida: sigh

Momo Yaoyorozu: Iida, I’m not sure what you expected to happen.

Ochaco Uraraka: Yeah Iida. If you expected us to be responsible and reasonable, you’ve come to the wrong place.

Denki Kaminari: It’s time for name changes!!

Kyoka Jiro: please no

Denki Kaminari has changed Yuuga Aoyama’s name to “Mettaton pétillant”

Mettaton pétillant: Oui! ☜(⌒▽⌒)☞

Denki Kaminari has changed Mina Ashido’s name to “E.T call the doctor!”

Denki Kaminari has changed Tsuyu Asui’s name to “kero!”

Denki Kaminari has changed Tenya Iida’s name to “He zoom!”

Denki Kaminari has changed Ochaco Uraraka’s name to “I’ll shank a bitch!”

I’ll shank a bitch: y’know what, that’s fair

Denki Kaminari has changed Mashirao Ojiro’s name to “Floof!”

Floof: thank you for not making a furry joke

Denki Kaminari has changed Denki Kaminari’s name to “Dollar Store Pikachu!”

Kyoka Jiro has changed Dollar Store Pikachu’s name to “Wheeyyy!”

Wheeyyy: really?!

Kyoka Jiro: until you learn to stop frying yourself every time you attack, this is staying

Wheeyyy: just for that

Wheeyyy has changed Kyoka Jiro’s name to “Tangled buds!”

Tangled buds: I hope you choke

Wheeyyy: ...on? ᕕ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )ᕗ

Tangled buds: ew

Wheeyyy has changed Ejiro Kirishima’s name to “Sunshine!”

Sunshine: !!!

Sunshine: BRO

Wheeyyy: BROO

Sunshine: BROOO

Katsuki Bakugou: SHUT THE FUCK UP!!

Wheeyyy: 0_0

Sunshine: 0_0

Izuku Midoriya: Iida, are you gonna… stop them?

He zoom: I’ve given up on trying to corral you hellspawn.

Tangled buds: mood

He zoom: Is this what Aizawa-sensei feels every day? This crushing disappointment?

Fumikage Tokoyami: Okay edgelord, pipe down.

He zoom: I-

Wheeyyy has changed Fumikage Tokoyami’s name to “Dork shadow!”

Dork shadow:

Dork Shadow: Bakugou, Save Some For Me.

Wheeyyy: eep

Wheeyyy has changed Mezo Shoji’s name to “dupli-dicks!”

Dupli-dicks: why

Wheeyyy: ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

Wheeyyy has changed Koji Koda’s name to “Sunshine^2!”

Sunshine^2: ☜(⌒▽⌒)☞ ٩(^ᴗ^)۶

Wheeyyy: you are precious and we love you Koda.

Wheeyyy has changed Rikido Sato’s name to “Best cook!”

Best cook: I’ll accept this

Wheeyyy has changed Toru Hagakure’s name to “Blackmail!”

Blackmail: accurate

Wheeyyy has changed Hanta Sero’s name to “Phillius the Swift!”

Phillius the Swift: nice

Wheeyyy has changed Shoto Todoroki’s name to “Ice ice baby!’

Ice ice baby: I don’t get it

Wheeyyy: you don’t need to

Wheeyyy has changed Katsuki Bakugou’s name to “Bakagan!”

Bakagan:

Bakagan: you live.

Wheeyyy: ʘ‿ʘ

Bakagan: for now

Wheeyyy: meep

Wheeyyy has changed Izuku Midoriya’s name to “Gotta blast!”

Gotta blast: Me at my bones: ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

He zoom: Midoriya no

Gotta blast: Midoriya yes

Wheeyyy has changed Momo Yaoyorozu’s name to “Goddess!”

Goddess: Awww! You’re too kind, Kaminari!

Tangled buds: she’s blushing

Goddess: KYOKA!

Wheeyyy has changed Johann Sourphe’s name to “The color out of space!”

The color out of space: oh wow you know Lovecraft. I’m impressed.

Tangled buds: OOOHHH SHIT

Wheeyyy: shut up yes I do

Wheeyyy: I used to read all his stories back when I was younger

Wheeyyy: at least until I learned that he was a massive racist

Tangled buds: fair.

Wheeyyy: I also read all the Sherlock Holmes stories

Sunshine: Ayyyy!!

Minoru Mineta: Hey ladies~

6 users are now offline!

Minoru Mineta: awww come on! You know you want it!~

Sunshine: ew

Gotta blast: who let the piss baby in

He zoom:

He zoom: I’m so sorry

He zoom: as much as we all hate him, he’s still part of the class. Unfortunately, that means he has to be here.

Sunshine: can we drop-kick him?

Sunshine: please?

Minoru Mineta has changed their name to “Grape juice!”

Grape juice: now now Kiri-kun, that’s not very heroic, isn’t it?

Sunshine: don’t call me Kiri-kun.

Gotta blast: please go away Mineta. You’re making us really uncomfortable

Grape juice: why should I leave? I have a right to be here, same as all of you!

Sunshine^2: (ง •̀_•́)ง

Bakagan: See, even Koda agrees. Get out you little purple shitstain.

The color out of space: Drop-kicking him is looking more and more appealing by the second.

Wheeyyy: hey Mineta! Mind if I give you a new name?

Grape Juice: Why? What’s wrong with this one?

Wheeyyy: Too boring. You need something that pops

Bakagan: The fuck are you doing Pikachu?

Wheeyyy: shush

Grape Juice: Okay. Sure. Change it

Wheeyyy has changed Grape Juice’s name to “(g)rapist!”

Wheeyyy: you fool

Wheeyyy: I chug my respect woman juice daily

Wheeyyy: unlike you, clearly.

Wheeyyy: I can’t believe I was ever friends with you

Bakagan:

Bakagan: not bad, Pikachu

Wheeyyy: I Have Been Blessed Twice This Day

(g)rapist: Hey man not cool!

(g)rapist: why are you spending so much time with the girls?! They’ve corrupted you!

(g)rapist: don’t tell me you’re gay too!

Wheeyyy: …

(g)rapist: You are! I can’t believe it! You’re just a useless fag!

Sunshine^2: (⊙_◎)

Sunshine^2: ∩(˵☯‿☯˵)つ¤=[]:::::>

Bakagan: THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY YOU BITCH?!

(g)rapist: The truth. Bet you didn’t know that Kaminari is also a girl!

Wheeyyy: how did you-

(g)rapist: I saw those bras in your closet

Wheeyyy: stop

(g)rapist: I also saw those cuts on your arms, and you know what?

Wheeyyy: STOP IT

(g)rapist: You should have gone deeper, then we’d be free of one more fag and tranny!

Bakagan:

Bakagan: : )

Bakagan: W H E R E

Gotta blast: common room

Gotta blast: Sero and Todoroki have him restrained

Gotta Blast: have at him

Bakagan: gladly

Phillius the Swift:

Phillius the Swift: I’ll go talk to him

Phillius the Swift: make it hurt

He zoom has kicked (g)rapist from the chat!

He zoom has archived all past messages from (g)rapist!

He zoom: I’m sending this to Aizawa-sensei

He zoom: don’t kill him

Bakagan: I won’t

Bakagan: that wouldn’t be rewarding enough

He zoom:

He zoom: okay. Fine.

He zoom: make it hurt

Class A Parents (and Older Siblings)

Iison: @dadzawa

Iison: @dadzawa

Iison: @dadzawa

Iison: @dadzwa

Dadzawa: w h a t

Iison: Mineta

Iison: transphobe

Iison: common room

Momnight: what happened this time?

Momo: I just backread.

Momo: He outed Kaminari as trans, called him a f*g and a t***ny, and told him to kill himself

Dadmic:

Dadmic: I’m gonna kill him

Momo: We’re way ahead of you sensei

Iison: can we please expel him now

Rat God: Already filing the paperwork!

Ghostbuster: Can I whack him with my leg? Please?

Rock on: does Kaminari need anything? I’d be happy to provide whatever he needs right now

Dadzawa: I don’t think he wants anything right now. His friends are already providing comfort.

Uncle Might: good

Momnight: I’ll sedate him and drag him away myself

Uncle Might: Don’t sedate him

Uncle Might: I want to see him kicking and screaming. It’s the most he deserves.

Dadzawa:

Momnight: wow.

Momnight: I think I’m in love

Uncle Might: I’m flattered, but I’m already seeing someone

Dadzawa: Nezu, can you add us teachers to their chat?

Rat God: But of course!!

Class 1-A

Rat God added themselves to the chat!

Gotta blast: whomst?

Rat God added Shota Aizawa to the chat!

Rat God added Hizashi Yamada to the chat!

Rat God added Toshinori Yagi to the chat!

Rat God added Nemuri Kayama to the chat!

Rat God added Ken Ishiyama to the chat!

Rat God added Ectoplasm to the chat!

Shota Aizawa: Mineta has been expelled, effective immediately.

Sunshine: FUCK yeah!!

Bakagan: fucking finally

Shota Aizawa: Midnight is on her way to remove him from the premises, and All Might is also on his way to record his reactions.

Shota Aizawa: how’s Kaminari doing?

Wheeyyy: I… I’m doing better sensei

Wheeyyy: thank you

Shota Aizawa: don’t sweat it kid.

Shota Aizawa has left the chat!

Wheeyyy has added Shota Aizwa to the chat!

Shota Aizawa: what the fuck

Bakagan: if I can’t escape this hell then neither can you

Wheeyyy has changed Shota Aizawa’s name to “Bondage fetish!”

Bondage fetish:

Bondage fetish: I’ll allow it.

Hizashi Yamada: HOLY SHIT I’M CACKLING

Hizashi Yamada: DO ME NEXT LISTENER, PLEASE

Wheeyyy: ask and ye shall receive.

Wheeyyy has changed Hizashi Yamada’s name to “Voice Kink!”

Voice kink: I love it, thank you

Wheeyyy has changed Nemuri Kayama’s name to “Drugs!”

Drugs: This is perfect

Wheeyyy: now then, @Toshinori Yagi

Toshinori Yagi: ...I’m scared

Wheeyyy: who tf are you?

Toshinori Yagi: …

Gotta blast: Oh! I know this one!

Gotta blast has changed Toshinori Yagi’s name to Y’all Might

Wheeyyy: jsbiksdhboisdgsdo

Y’all Might:

Y’all Might: sigh

Ken Ishiyama has changed their name to “Rock on!”

Ectoplasm has changed their name to “Ghostbuster!”

Ghostbuster: c’mon Aizawa! It’ll be fun

Bondage fetish:

Bondage fetish: fine

He zoom: now you feel my pain sensei

Bondage fetish: kill me

Chapter Text

Gotta blast: hey so how do quirks even work?

Dork shadow: what brought this on it’s 1 in the morning

Gotta blast: just thinking about how actually fucky quirks are

Gotta blast: like, how did quirks even come about? What makes quirked people different from quirkless people that makes them get a quirk? Is it a genetic thing? How do kids have quirks completely different from their parents? Do quirks get stronger over time? How do mental quirks come about? How did people find out that mental quirks exist? How long have they existed?

Gotta blast: it’s all just so confusing and interesting

Dork shadow:

Sunshine: my phone was vibrating off the table what’s going on

Sunshine

Sunshine: Midobro what the fuck is this

Bakagan: Why the fuck is my phone flashing?

Bakugan:

Bakagan: tch, of course shitty deku would ask those questions

Bakagan: damn nerd needs to know everything about quirks

Sunshine: those are really interesting

Dork shadow: agreed

Dork shadow: it’s just too early to be having an existential crisis

Sunshine: but don’t you never sleep Tokobro?

Dork shadow:

Dork shadow is now offline!

Sunshine: annnd he’s offline

Bakagan: go the fuck to sleep shitty hair

Bakagan: don’t wanna listen to you complaining about getting no sleep again

Sunshine: okay! Good night Bakubro!

Sunshine is now offline!

Bakugan is now offline!

Gotta blast: Welp they’re gone

Gotta blast: Time to share more quirk theory!!

Gotta blast: The "Quirk Singularity Theory" is the idea that because the quirks of a previous generation are inherited by their offspring, each new generation becomes more and more powerful as time goes on. Inheriting the quirks of their parents, the next generations of heroes grow stronger over time with a perfect example being Todoroki-kun himself. He has the ability to manipulate both fire and ice thanks in part to his father's and mother's quirks that he inherited. The downside of this theory and the power that is given to each hero has the unexpected effect of eventually becoming too powerful. As the older heroes note, as each generation is given stronger powers, they become more unstable and will one day be completely unable to control.

Gotta blast: After initial Quirk manifestation, it is possible for the user to undergo an "Awakening". The right catalyst can cause Quirks to evolve on the spot. This results in one's Quirk gaining a new level of strength and/or new aspects to its nature that were previously not possible. How would this work for each of our own quirks? Would Yaomomo be able to make objects without needing their chemical makeup? Would Jiro be able to weaponize other people’s heartbeats against them? Would Kacchan be able to cause remote explosions? Oh! How about Shinso! Maybe he wouldn’t need a response to activate his quirk!

Gotta blast:

Gotta blast: ok I’m going to bed

~6 hours later~

I’ll shank a bitch: Hey Deku full offense but WTF

He zoom: While I enjoy thoughtful discussions, this is a little… much

Gotta blast: sorry guys! I just love talking about quirks

Gotta blast: probably because I didn’t have one of my own

Gotta blast has deleted one message!

I’ll shank a bitch: what?

Gotta blast: what?

The color out of space: wow

The color out of space: That… that’s a lot

Rat God: All very interesting Young Midoriya! I thoroughly enjoyed reading your analysis of the Quirk Singularity Theory!

Gotta Blast: 0_0

Gotta blast: thank you Nezu sensei! It’s an honor to know you like my ideas

Rat God: I do have one question though. Do you believe in the Singularity? It’s very much a fringe theory, and I’d love to know if you think it holds any water.

Gotta blast:

Gotta blast: @Y’all Might

I’ll shank a bitch: ???

The color out of space: why are you tagging All Might?

Y’all Might: What is it Young Midoriya?

Gotta blast: DM me.

I’ll shank a bitch: :eyes: :eyes:

Gotta blast: NOT LIKE THAT EW

Private Messages between Izuku Midoriya and Toshinori Yagi

Izuku Midoriya: I want to tell them about OFA and AFO

Toshinori Yagi:

Toshinori Yagi: what brought this on?

Izuku Midoriya: before I manifested blackwhip, one of the users told me that OFA has almost reached the singularity

Izuku Midoriya: besides, I trust all of them. Now that the grape bitch is gone I can tell them

Toshinori Yagi: Well, it is your secret to tell. If you want to tell your class, I’ll support you 100%

Izuku Midoriya: Thank you All Might

Toshinori Yagi: I’ve told you before that you can call me Toshinori, kiddo

Toshinori Yagi:

Toshinori Yagi: Are you crying again?

Izuku Midoriya: Maybe so.

Class 1-A

Bondage fetish added Hitoshi Shinso to “Class 1-A”

Hitoshi Shinso has changed their name to “Coffat!”

Bondage fetish: welcome to the hero course kiddo

Whyyyyyyy SHINBRO!

Coffat: uhh, hey, i guess

Coffat: I haven’t had my coffee yet, so I’m still tired

Wheeyyy renamed the chat “Class 1-A” to “Class 1-GAY”

Gotta blast: of course this is what I come back to

Gotta blast: of fucking course

Gotta blast: Oh! Hey Shinso!!

Coffat: hey, Midoriya

Gotta blast: :D

Gotta blast: anyway, @Rat God I have an answer for you

Gotta blast: I do

Rat God: Really? What led you to this conclusion?

Gotta blast:

Gotta blast: my quirk told me that it was real

I’ll shank a bitch: WAIT WHAT

Goddess: Your QUIRK?!

He zoom: HOW DOES THAT WORK

Wheeyyy: 0_0

Sunshine: WOAH MIDOBRO

Dork shadow: what a mad banquet of darkness

Dupli-dicks: that- I- what-

Bakugan: Oh? You’re finally gonna tell them?

Tangled buds: wait, YOU KNEW?!

Gotta blast: yeah. I am

Sunshine^2: 0_0

Gotta blast: I’m gonna need you all to not say anything until I’m done. It’s a long story.

Gotta blast: So, about 200 years ago, there was a guy called All For One. He had the power to take and give quirks, and he used that ability to build connections and create a criminal empire in Japan. He had a quirkless younger brother who was constantly very sick. So AFO decided to give him a simple strength-enhancing quirk

Gotta blast: except the younger brother actually had a quirk: the ability to pass down his quirk to someone else. Those two quirks mixed and became known as One for All, a quirk that passes down power from user to user and grows stronger and stronger from person to person. Eventually, the quirk found its way to a young kid named Toshinori Yagi, who used that power to become the Symbol of Peace, All Might.

Gotta blast: I’m gonna change gears here

Gotta blast: when I was four years old, I was diagnosed as quirkless. Extra pinky toe joint, the whole shebang.

Gotta blast: now, you have to understand that the quirkless are always treated as less than human. They don’t have the best life, and most of them commit suicide before adulthood. Even if they survive to get jobs, they’ll never find a job. Nobody wants to hire a quirkless freak.

Gotta blast: So, I was quirkless and still wanted to be a hero. You can imagine what the response was.

Gotta blast: I’ve got scars that’ll never ever heal, and I’m pretty sure that my ribs are severely damaged in some way.

Gotta blast: I was told to kill myself more times than I can count, and, to be honest, I almost did.

Gotta blast: on my way home from school one day, I was attacked by a sludge monster, but was saved by All Might. I asked if he could be a hero, he said no, and left me on a building.

Gotta blast: But, on my way home again, I ran into the same sludge monster holding Kacchan hostage. Before I knew it, I was running at the thing and trying to rescue Kacchan

Gotta blast: All Might saw me, saved us both, and then returned to apologize to me and offer me his quirk, saying that my actions in trying to save Kacchan were the actions of a true hero, and that I was worthy of the legacy of One for All.

Gotta blast: long story short, I’m the ninth holder of One for All.

Gotta blast: as for what happened during joint training, Toshinori and I theorize that One for All also stockpiles quirks and souls. So, I’ll likely have 7 quirks once I master One for All

Gotta blast: so yeah. That’s everything

He zoom: wow

I’ll shank a bitch: I… that’s awful

Goddess: to think that quirkless people are treated like that

Sunshine: wait. YOU saved Bakubro?!

Gotta blast: yeah

Sunshine: DUDE! You inspired me to actually be a hero! Without you I wouldn’t be here!

Gotta blast: r-really?

Sunshine: Yep! So don’t you tell yourself that your life has less value than ours!

Sunshine^2: (◍•ᴗ•◍)❤ {´◕ ◡ ◕｀} (•̀ᴗ•́)و

Gotta blast: thanks Koda!

Dork shadow: truly, you are an incredible being

Dupli-dicks: We’re here for you

Tangled buds: did you think that we’d leave because you got your quirk from someone else?

Phillius the Swift: as if we’d get rid of you like that!

Best cook: the amount of bravery and hope you’ve gotta have to make it as far as you did… I'm in awe.

Wheeyyy: Midoriya, you have as much of a right to be here as anyone else.

Bakagan: and you thought we’d all hate you, shitty nerd

Drugs: you’re stuck with us kiddo

Voice kink: we wouldn’t have anyone else, little listener!

Rock on: We’ll all support you!

Ghostbuster: do you mind if I tell the other teachers? I feel that they should know about this.

Gotta blast: thank you for asking sensei. As long as none of this makes it to the students, go ahead.

Bondage fetish:

Bondage fetish: Problem child

Bondage fetish: did the teachers know?

Gotta blast: if you call “taking part” knowing about it, then yeah

Bondage fetish:

Bondage fetish: what’s the name of your old school

Bondage fetish: I have some w o r d s for them.

Voice kink: guys he’s actually furious

Voice kink: I haven’t seen him like this since the training camp

Voice kink: he’ll actually kill someone.

Bakugan: we went to the same school.

Bakagan: Aldera Junior High

Bakugan: Burn It Down.

I’ll shank a bitch: wait, you went to school with Deku? Did you not know about this?

Gotta blast: uraraka, let’s not bring-

Bakagan: nah, it’s fine

Bakugan: I knew. Even took part in it. I was an ass and a shitty person. Even more so than I am now. I bullied him for years for no good reason and was never stopped by anyone.

Gotta blast: before you guys go after Kacchan, he already apologized to me in person and we talked it out. I’ve long since forgiven him. Don’t attack him on my behalf, please.

He zoom:

I’ll shank a bitch: fine

I’ll shank a bitch: @Bakagan

I’ll shank a bitch: Hurt Deku again and I’ll beat you bloody Bakahoe

Bakugan: that’s fair.

Chapter Text

Private Messages between Coffat and Gotta Blast!

Coffat: Yo

Gotta blast: hey Shinso! What’s up?

Coffat: I saw what you said earlier in the chat

Coffat: about your quirk

Coffat: was that all true?

Gotta blast: yeah. It is

Gotta blast:

Coffat: …

Coffat: fuck

Coffat: I’m sorry

Gotta blast: what? Why!

Coffat: for what I said at the Sports Festival

Coffat: I said that you don’t know what it’s like to be looked down on, but you understand that better than I ever could.

Coffat: I mean, people didn’t like me, but it’s better than everyone hating your very existence.

Coffat: fuck, I’m sorry.

Coffat: you didn’t deserve any of that

Gotta blast: Shinso, I already forgave you

Gotta blast: you couldn’t have known any of that. Being quirkless isn’t something I like to advertise, for obvious reasons.

Gotta blast: that being said, if you want to make up for it, there is one thing you can do

Coffat: what?

Gotta blast: be my friend!! :D

Coffat: we aren’t already?

Gotta blast: yayy!!! Come to my room! I have cat pictures!

Gotta blast: Shinso?

Gotta blast: WAIT SHINSO HOLY SHITDKJGVBSLVUWSELIFVB

Class 1-Gay

Wheeyyy: Who wants to tell me why I just saw Shinso nyoom upstairs?

Sunshine: Why did Midobro just let out a giant ass scream?

Coffat: C A T

Coffat: @Bondage Fetish Cat pictures in Midoriya’s room

Bondage fetish:

Bondage fetish:

Best cook: I’m scared now

Tangled buds: same

Sunshine: ^^^

Bondage fetish: I am ON MY WAY

Drugs: oh good god

Voice kink: he’s been unleashed

Ghostbuster: O Merciful Lord, please save us from this Hell

Voice Kink: I thought you weren't religious, Ecto

Ghostbuster: I'm not

Rock on: I’m gonna go hide now

Y’all Might: It can’t be that bad!

Voice kink: -_- you think?

Bondage fetish: GIVE ME THE PRECIOUS MEMORIES OF THE FLUFF CHILDREN SO THAT I MAY CHERISH THEM AND ADD THEM TO MY COLLECTION

Sunshine^2: 0_0

Y’all Might: Ah yes. I understand now

Y’all Might: @Rock on mind if I hide with you

Rock on: sure. Hurry though

Bakagan: I have never been as scared as I am at this very moment

Gotta blast: GUYS HELP

Gotta blast: AIZAWA SENSEI JUYSUFOSGKSBSLSLVSBLS

Goddess: oh no

Bondage fetish: No texting. Show us cat

I’ll shank a bitch: annnd he’s gone

Kero: press f to pay respects

Mettaton pétillant: f

E.T call the doctor: f

He zoom: f

I’ll shank a Bitch: f

Floof: f

Wheeyyy: f

Sunshine: f

sunshine^2: f

Best cook: f

Dupli-dicks: f

Tangled buds: f

Phillius the swift: f

ice ice baby: f

Blackmail: f

Bakagan: f

Voice Kink: f

Y’all Might: f

Drugs: f

Rock on: f

Ghostbuster: f

Rat God: f

E.T call the doctor: You too All Might? HECK

Y’all Might: why does everyone assume I don’t know memes?

Voice kink: you want an honest answer to that Yagi?

Y’all Might:

Voice kink: that’s what I thought bitch

Dork shadow: revelry in the dark

The color out of space: stop that Fumi.

Dork shadow: MAKE ME BITCH

Dupli-dicks: no apples for you Fumi

Dork shadow: finne

Dork shadow: you two are evil

Dupli-Dicks: we’re still your friends

Dork shadow: shit you right

Tangled buds: oh?

Wheeyyy: “Kage?” “Fumi?” :eyes:

Dork shadow: Stop that

The color out of space: We’re not dating

Dupli-dicks: Haha that’s crazy talk

Sunshine: Are you guys together?

Dork shadow: nope

Dupli-dicks: nope

The color out of space: nope

Dork shadow: we’re all friends

Dork shadow: Mezo and Johann are dating

Sunshine: Oh! My bad! I didn’t know!

The color out of space: it’s fine. We hid it for a while, thanks to He-who-shall-not-be-named

Dupli-dicks: we’re both asexual, and he made us uncomfortable

Goddess: That’s understandable, and I apologize if we ever made you uncomfortable in the chat

The color out of space: it’s fine here. Personally, I’m uncomfortable with actually fucking, but I can talk about it and hear about it no problem.

Dupli-dicks: same here

He zoom: feel free to tell us if we ever get too much for you! You should not have to leave the chat because of overly sexual jokes!

Dupli-dicks: thanks Iida

Wheeyyy: Now then! Who’s the softest in your relationship

The color out of space: Mezo

Dupli-dicks: Johann

Sunshine: wow that was almost instant

The color out of space: You’re the softest Mezo you read poetry every night

Dupli-dicks: yeah? Well you make little light shows whenever I can’t sleep

The color out of space: you pick me up and wrap me in your arms during panic attacks

Dupli-dicks: it seems we are at an impasse

The color out of space: for now

Sunshine^2: AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Sunshine: That’s so soft what the fuck?

Bakagan: that is so soft. I’m gonna puke

Gotta blast: I escaped. What did I miss?

Gotta blast: OH MY GOD THAT IS SO CUTE AAAAAAA

Gotta blast: CONGRATULATIONS!!

Dupli-dicks: thank you, Midoriya

Dork shadow: how did you escape?

Gotta blast: I sent all my cat photos to Aizawa sensei and used their distraction to book it away

Bondage fetish: I’d come after you, but I’m busy.

Voice kink: CAT PICTURES SHOUTA

Voice kink: Are Jackass, Orange, Feeber, Furby, Fucker, Naruto, Rat God, and Cat not enough for you?!

Bondage fetish: I̴̜̯͇̺̕ͅ ̴̯̲̝̖̯̎͑̈̆ ̶̞̖̿N̵͈̘̓͋ ̶̼͓͎͈̈́͑̂ȩ̵̼̗͎́̈́ ̴͕̠̗̺̍̾ĕ̶̢̡̩ ̷̦̞̰͛d̸̛̮̪̼̋ ̶̣̥̂̉̅̚ ̴̖͇̿͌̈̕M̴͙͚̲̭̩̌̂̾̋̑ ̶̙̖͚͎͗͐͑̈͘o̸̢̼̎̍͝ ̴̙̪̦̩̣͗̓̌̄r̴̩̋̏̾͘̚ ̷͓͇͖̾̾̌͜e̸̢̙̗̔

Voice kink: Ok, I’m coming to get you. Shinso, hold him still for me?

Coffat: you got it. Hurry up. I need to kick Midoriya’s ass in Mario Kart

Bondage fetish: N̸̲͍̈́o̶̖̤̺̦̹̊!̵̨̰͙̗̲͗̉ ̸͈̼͓̦̃͜G̴̝̬̟̖̼͒̈̐̓e̸̗̳͇̫̓͑͂̑̚t̵̖̞̣̟̠͗͛ ̶͎͖̣̗̎̏͋̋͜ä̵̻̜́w̵͈̪̣͈̜̋̓̎a̴̪͗ẏ̶̦͖̯̮̊ ̸͍̓͑f̴͖̐͝r̸̹̖͈̐͑o̷͍̦̳̅m̷̪͖̥̣͑̽̋̈ ̵̨̖̱̂͊m̶͔̫͂̎͌̈́e̷̱̺̒̽k̴͖͋̏̈́s̵̝͍͌̋̊̆̚k̵̤͒s̵̮̪͈͔̅̄b̸̡̫̩́̾͠s̸̢̝͖̝͖͐̽l̵̜̰̈́f̵̬́̑ṳ̸̘̊̉͊

Voice kink: I got him little listener, go play Mario Kart.

Coffat: thanks pops

Coffat: Ready to lose Midoriya?

Gotta blast: In your fucking dreams Shinso

Wheeyyy: Are… are we just gonna ignore the fact that Shinso is related to Mic-Sensei?

Voice kink: yes

Wheeyyy: okay then guess I’ll die.

Private messages between Gotta Blast and Ice ice baby!

Gotta blast: Shouto

Gotta blast: Shouto help

Gotta blast: please help

Ice ice baby: what

Gotta blast: I’m so gay please help

Ice ice baby: Shinso?

Gotta blast: who else?

Gotta blast: he’s just so fucking pretty and sweet and arrrggghh

Gotta blast: he beat me in Mario Kart and he laughed

Gotta blast: he. Laughed. Shouto

Ice ice baby: oh no. he laughed. how horrible

Gotta blast: stfu wannabe elsa

Gotta blast: nononono you don’t understand

Gotta blast: his laugh is the single hottest sound he’s ever made.

Gotta blast: like, ugghh it’s not fair.

Ice ice baby: have you considered telling him?

Gotta blast: no

Gotta blast: i’m positive he doesn’t like me like that

Gotta blast: have you seen how he looks at Kaminari?

Gotta blast: he’s not interested in me

Ice ice baby: do you know that?

Gotta blast:

Ice ice baby: i can’t believe i’m friends with you

Ice ice baby: ask him. What’s the worst that can happen? He’s not the type to push you away

Gotta blast:

Gotta blast: fine

Gotta blast: once I do, i’m gonna badger you about your crushes on Kiri and Kacchan!~ :D

Ice ice baby: wait no-

Private Messages between Coffat and Gotta Blast!

Gotta blast: hey Shinso?

Coffat: what’s up?

Gotta blast: I just…

Gotta blast: I really like you

Gotta blast: as more than a friend

Gotta blast: so… if you want, would you go out with me?

Coffat:

Coffat:

Gotta blast: hello? Are you… are you there?

Coffat: YES

Coffat: sorry

Coffat: yes I will go out with you

Coffat: I’d love to go out with you Midoriya

Gotta blast: AAAAAHHHHH

Gotta blast: Great! I know a cat cafe near UA that we could go to this weekend?

Coffat: sounds great

Gotta blast: Whooo!

Gotta blast: also, please call me Izuku

Coffat:

Coffat: in that case, call me Hitoshi

Gotta blast: :)

Coffat: :)

Class 1-Gay

Gotta blast: guess who has a boyfriend now:)

Bakagan: FUCKING FINALLY!

Private Messages between Fumikage and Mezo!

Fumikage: I knew it

Fumikage: I knew that he could never find love with one such as myself

Fumikage: I knew he had eyes only for Shinso

Fumikage: so why does it hurt so much?

Chapter Text

Toga if you change the chat name to an OwO meme one more fucking time I’ll warp you into the fucking ocean - KG

MISTifying: Toga what did you do with Spinner?

A KNIFE: I have no idea what you’re talking about mist papa

MISTifying: don’t call me that

NO: I’m in the fucking closet

NO: she locked me in the closet

NO: why is there so much vodka in here?

MISTifying: It’s for Sako

Compress my existence: stfu you drink it as much as I do

Staples: I shouldn’t be surprised to learn that my papa is an alcoholic

Mr. Potato Head: And what does that make me, young Dabi?

Staples: the weird grandpa.

Hands Off: why is Spinner in the closet?

A KNIFE: He broke my Deku plushie! I wanted to hold it and think of him!

NO: I regret nothing

Hands Off: oOkay yeah that’s just weird. Even for you

Mr. Potato Head: Toga, please do not go after Izuku.

A KNIFE: Why not?!

Mr. Potato Head: because he’s my kid and I do not want to see him bleed. I prefer him in one piece thank you.

Hands Off: …

A KNIFE: …

NO: …

Staples: …

MISTifying: …

Compress my existence: …

The only sane one: …

Thrice: …

Mr. Potato Head: Although, now that I mention it, I’m pretty sure that Inko said he was gay at one point. I hope that he’s happy.

A KNIFE: IZUKU’S YOUR SON?!

Hands Off: EXCUSE ME?!

Staples: wow.

MISTifying: Oh! I remember now! It’s been so long!

MISTifying: how is Inko, sir?

Mr. potato Head: very well, thank you for asking

NO: so wait, if Midoriya’s your son, then…

Mr. Potato Head: does he know I’m All For One? No.

Hands Off: I just wanna know what happened to make you disappear from his life. He would have noticed his father missing most of his face

Mr. Potato Head: According to him and Inko, I’m on a work trip.

Mr. Potato Head: but I’m ready to come back. And I have the perfect way to do so.

Hands Off: How so?

Mr. Potato Head: Do you all know of Kai Chisaki, otherwise known as Overhaul?

Mr. Potato Head: Well, it seems that he’s been making a racket selling quirk-destroying bullets, which appear to be based on the DNA of a little girl with the power to rewind people.

Mr. Potato Head: Chisaki has been using the girl’s blood and running experiments on her to create these bullets.

The only sane one:

The only sane one: I’m gonna kill him

NO: same

Staples: who the fuck would do something like that to a child?!

Compress my Existence: when do we go in?

Mr. Potato Head: I was thinking of using a stealth-based operation, but I don’t feel that Chisaki deserves that mercy.

Hands Off: fuck no

Hands Off: I want to see him burn

Mr. Potato Head: that’s what I thought

Mr. Potato Head: let’s begin, shall we?

-------

The operation was a remarkably easy one. Really, All for One was disappointed. They could at least try to have more defenses against him and the League. In the end, All for One killed Chisaki, but not before erasing his quirk with one of the rare permanent bullets that he created. Poetic irony, he would say.

Now all he had to do was comfort a scared and traumatized child.

He knelt down to be at eye level with the girl and focused on her face, memorizing every last detail. “What is your name, miss?”

The girl looked at him as though he was going to beat her -he shuddered at the thought! He may be a villain, but child abuse was awful even for him!- and stuttered her way through her name. “I-i-it’s E -e-Eri, sir.”

All for One smiled beneath his mask. “Eri, huh? That’s a lovely name.” Eri blinked up at him in surprise. Seeing that she wouldn’t run away, he continued.

“Now Eri, I would like for you to try something for me. With your power.” At that Eri scrambled back, cowering. All for One let her, seeing that keeping her where she was would not help anyone.

“No! I’ll kill you! I can’t control it! It’s evil! I… I…”

“Listen to me Eri.” All for One stood up. “Look around you at this building. If I asked you to rewind it, would you be able to?”

Eri looked up at him. “N-no…”

All for One took off his mask, revealing his messed up and scarred face to the child. “I am older than this building Eri. You cannot kill me.”

Eri gasped at his face, and at his words. With that reassurance, she crept forward and placed her hand on his face, activating her power.

-------

Toga if you change the chat name to an OwO meme one more fucking time I’ll warp you into the fucking ocean - KG

Hands Off: So Sensei, how does it feel having a face?

Mr. Potato Head: Odd. I never thought that this was possible anymore.

Mr. Potato Head: That being said

Mr. Potato Head has changed their name to “Kleptomaniac!”

Kleptomaniac: perfect

Kleptomaniac: now, onto more serious business.

Hands Off: what’s up?

Kleptomaniac: I will be leaving the villain lifestyle.

MISTifying:

A KNIFE: WHAT?!

Thrice: You can’t leave!

Thrice: SHUT UP, YES HE CAN!

Hands Off: But Sensei! What about your place in the underground?!

Kleptomaniac: Already taken care of

Kleptomaniac: and besides. I… I’m tired of this life

Kleptomaniac: looking over my shoulder, living in the shadows, hiding away from everyone I’ve come to love.

Kleptomaniac: I miss my wife. I miss my son. I don’t want to run the risk of disappearing again.

Kleptomaniac: As of tonight, All for One will be dead. Rescuing Eri was the last thing I had to do, and I’ll be taking her home. Izuku will love her, and Inko will help care for her.

Kleptomaniac: Anyone who wants to come is more than welcome to. I can help you find jobs and homes.

MISTifying: my loyalties lie with you Sensei. Wherever you go, I will follow.

Compress my Existence: Wherever Kuro goes, I’ll go. You can’t get rid of me that easily All for One.

MISTifying: thank you Sako.

NO: I… I think I’m gonna go with you too, Sensei. I just can’t imagine anything else I’d do.

A KNIFE: I’m gonna come with you too!

Kleptomaniac: Toga-

A KNIFE: I know I know, no stabbing Izuku-kun! I’ll try to control myself.

The only sane one: I think I’m gonna strike out on my own. Maybe continue working with Giran.

Kleptomaniac: That’s more than fine Magne. If you want, I could give you my home address so you always have a safe place.

The only sane one: that’d be great, thanks

Thrice: I’m going to go with Magne

Kleptomaniac: I understand: The same offer is extended to you too.

Hands Off:

Hands Off:

Hands Off: I’ll come with you Sensei.

Staples: me too. If I go anywhere else, someone’s gonna find out my relation to Endeawhore.

Kleptomaniac: thank you all. Magne, Twice, I wish you nothing but the best.

Kleptomaniac: All of you, call me Hisashi from this point on.

Hands Off:

Hands Off: Call me Tenko

Staples: If we're all doing this sappy shit, then you all call me Toya

NO: I FUCKING CALLED IT! TOGA PAY UP BITCH

A KNIFE: DAMMIT!

Chapter Text

Hisashi stood in front of the doorway to Inko’s apartment, fist poised to knock on the door, his other hand trembling around the bouquet he had purchased earlier for his wife. His hand trembled. It had been so long since he had seen his wife and son. Izuku had gotten a quirk while he was gone, for crying out loud! If he had missed such an important part of his son’s life, was he…?

Kurogiri placed his hand on Hisashi’s shoulder. “We can come back later if you want.” Tenko didn’t say anything, but Hisashi could feel his presence behind him, comforting.

Hisashi shook his head. “Thank you, but I need to do this.” Before he could reconsider, he knocked on the door once, twice, three times. He heard running and bustling, before the door was opened to reveal Inko.

“Yagi-san, you’re here ear- Hisashi?” Inko stared directly at him, and all Hisashi could do was wave and give a brief “hi honey,” before abruptly doubling over in pain as he felt his lungs being squeezed.

“So, Hisashi Midoriya, what in God's name possessed you to be a villain? And don't lie to me. You know better than anyone that organs can be considered small objects.” Holy shit, his wife was terrifying. Hisashi tried to speak, but all that came out was a weak gargle, prompting Inko to release her hold on his organs, staring at him with a raised eyebrow and an unimpressed face. Wisely, Kurogiri and Tenko said nothing.

“I-I I missed you and Izuku.” Inko smirked. “Really? Then why did you disappear for years of our lives?”

Hisashi sputtered. “That wasn’t my fault! I couldn’t come back with half of my face missing!” Inko stared at him. “And why were you missing part of your face? And how did you get it back?”

Hisashi looked down at his feet. “...I went after All Might.”

“So, what you mean to say is, if you hadn’t gone to kill All Might, you wouldn’t have left? Then Why. Did. You. Go. To. Kill. Him.” Tenko was now cowering behind Kurogiri, who looked like he wanted to warp himself into the Pacific. Hisashi couldn’t blame him. “I-I had planned on it being the last thing I would do as a villain.”

Inko stared at him. “And do you plan to go back to that life?” Hisashi jerked up at that. “No! Of course not! It’s done.”

Inko had her hands on her hips by this. “How can I know that?”

At that, Kurogiri stepped forward. “If I may, ma’am. I’m a long-time friend of Hisashi, and I can vouch for him when he says that he’s done. He’s done everything necessary to remove All for One from the criminal underground without causing a power vacuum. He is truly serious about coming home, and I ask that you allow him to prove himself to you.”

Inko looked at the three of them, all in various states of cowering away from her, before sighing. “Well, I guess I can give you a chance. But it’s not me you need to convince.” With that, she stepped aside to reveal Izuku, green and red lightning flickering across his body, as well as a boy with purple hair, his hand on a scarf that was floating menacingly above him. Distantly, Hisashi could hear Tenko mutter a quiet but profound “fuck.”

The past users of One for All were cackling at him. He just knew it.

-----

It took a lot of explaining, and tears, and almost being thrown out of a window, but the six of them were soon sitting around the dining room table, eating a very quiet dinner. Izuku was digging into his Katsudon, and Hisashi finally felt comfortable to ask him the questions that most fathers ask their kids.

“So Izuku, how’s school?” His son looked up at him. Since he had explained himself and prostrated on the floor in front of Inko, Izuku had begun to warm up to him and Kurogiri, though he was still wary around Tenko.

“School is good. We’re living in dorms now, so I spend the week with my classmates. Just last week Kacchan and I set a dorm room on fire!” Hisashi reeled back, and Tenko looked at Izuku as if the One for All user had grown a second head.

The boy looked at the former villains, before snapping his fingers in realization. “Ohhhhhh, that’s right! We didn’t tell you!” He tapped Inko on the shoulder to get her attention. “Aizawa-sensei expelled the grape rat.”

Hisashi expected his wife to ask for reasons, but he wasn’t prepared for her to smile and say “finally. I thought he’d never leave.” Tenko blinked owlishly at them. “Wait, you mean Mineta?”

Izuku and the purple boy -Shinso- hissed at Tenko and pulled out crucifixes -where did they even GET those?!- to point them at the baffled man. “We do not speak its name!” they chanted as one. Tenko dove under the table and curled up in front of Kurogiri's feet, whimpering.

Izuku looked at Hisashi. “Just so you know, the Grape Rat was a homophobic, transphobic, pile of shit who liked to harrass and try to sexually assault the girls in our class. He got expelled after he told a guy in our class to kill himself because he’s trans.” He then looked at down Tenko. “I don’t like talking about the USJ, but none of us would have cared if you accidentally killed him for us.”

Hisashi laughed. “Well at least he got expelled. Please tell me you got to hurt him.”

Izuku smiled. “What do you take us for? People who would just let him continue?” Shinso laughed and Izuku smiled softly, before continuing. “So the rat was expelled, and we had to clean up his old room for Hitoshi to stay in. Tokoyami-kun had to exorcise the demons he set on the rat, and Kacchan and I gathered his belongings and set up a bonfire outside the dorms.” Tenko was staring at the two boys, mouth agape. Shinso snorted. “We got extra credit.”

Hisashi laughed, and Kurogiri chuckled at that. But Hisashi had one more question for Izuku. “Izuku, are you and Shinso together?”

He didn’t miss the way Izuku tensed up and how Shinso scooted closer to him, offering comfort. There was silence for a few minutes, before Izuku said, so quietly he could barely hear it, “yes.”

Hisashi stood from his chair and made his way over to Izuku, pulling him into a tight hug. Registering Izuku’s gasp, he spoke. “I haven’t been the best father to you, but I would never hate you for who you love. I would not abandon you for aspects of your life you can’t control, like your sexuality or your quirklessness.” Izuku hitched a breath, but Hisashi continued. “I’ve seen many users of One for All over my life, and I believe that you’re the best of all of them.”

Izuku flung his arms around Hisashi at that and sobbed into his shoulder. Hisashi just patted him on the back. He caught Hitoshi’s eye behind his son, and he smiled reassuringly at Hisashi. He could feel Inko watching them, but she wasn’t angry anymore. Instead, she was proud, and Hisashi reveled in that.

Which is when Tenko had to ruin it by opening his big fat mouth.

“Hey Mamadoriya! Wanna adopt a little girl we saved from the Yakuza?”

-----

It’s Not Easy Being Green

Mother added Hisashi Midoriya, Tenko Shimura, and Kurogiri to the chat!

Greeny changed Hisashi Midoriya’s name to “Awful One!”

Awful One: Thanks I hate it.

Greeny: That’s nice.

No talk me I’m angy changed Tenko Shimura’s name to “Bad touch man!”

No talk me I’m angy: “quirks that people call villainous” squad!

Bad touch man: Acceptable

Kurogiri changed their name to “MISTifying!”

Greeny: I love it

MISTifying: Thank you, young Izuku.

Greeny: just call me Izuku. Calling me Young anything sounds too much like All Might and I don't need two All Mights.

Greeny: Speaking of...

Greeny: If I screencapped this and sent it to All Might how extreme of a heart attack do you think he’d get?

Awful One: please do that. I will pay you.

Greeny:

Mother: please no

Greeny: how much?

Mother: IZUKU!!

No talk me I’m angy: IZUKKUN NO!

Bad touch man: IZUKU YES!!

Awful One: I'll give you all of Nighteye's limited edition merch, including that rare poster that they don't sell anymore.

Greeny:

Mother: Izuku don’t you dare.

Greeny: ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ

No talk me I’m angy: goddammit

MISTifying: It's like the League never left.

Private Chat between Izuku Midoriya and Toshinori Yagi!

Green for All: screencap.dadsbackbitch

Green for All: screencap.badtouchmanwithmist

Green for All: screencap.awfulone

Green for All: Welcome to the plot of most psychotic sitcom ever

Blonde for All: Aww, it’s so nice that your father’s returned, young Midoriya! You must be so happy!

Blonde for All:

Blonde for All: WAIT YOUNG MIDORIYA WHAT THE FUCK?!

Green for All: ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ

Blonde for All: IS THAT FUCKING ALL FOR ONE?!

Blonde for All: SHIGARAKI?! KUROGIRI?!

Blonde for All: WHAT ARE THEY DOING IN A GROUP CHAT WITH YOU?!

Green for All: Oh! All for One is my dad!

Blonde for All:

Blonde for All:

Blonde for All: suisfwvuyslfywgo2hf q,mjdhg

Blonde for All: Aoigueolpirg23o8fbwdhvblwe

Blonde for All: KASYFVALUYDlSJYHFLKASFWKLQVLWQQ['2r2o27332QYQQUY

Blonde for All: This is Aizawa, what happened to make Yagi scream like he was being murdered?

Blonde for All: And why is he curled up and sobbing into the floor? This hardwood's expensive, you know.

Blonde for All:

Blonde for All: Problem Child

Green for All: Gotta Blast Lol.

Class 1-Gay

Gotta blast: My dad’s back!

I’ll shank a bitch: That’s awesome Deku!

Sunshine: That’s so cool!

Bakagan: did that asshat finally come crawling back?

Gotta blast: watch it Kacchan that’s All for One you’re talking about

Bakagan:

Phillius the Swift:

Wheeyyy:

Goddess:

Sunshine^2: what

Sunshine^2: the

Sunshine^2: fuck

Sunshine: Oh shit

Dupli-dicks: Koda just swore

Dork shadow: what a mad banquet of darkness

The color out of space: you stop that now.

Dork shadow: I think this situation warrants it.

Gotta Blast added Hisashi Midoriya, Tenko Shimura, and Kurogiri to the Chat!

Gotta Blast changed Hisashi Midoriya’s name to “Awful One!”

Gotta Blast changed Tenko Shimura’s name to “Bad touch man!”

Kurogiri changed their name to “MISTifying!”

Bondage fetish: Problem Child

Gotta blast: lol suffer

Drugs: Why are Shigaraki, Kurogiri, and FUCKING ALL FOR ONE here?!

Rat God: Oh my! This is fascinating! The great All for One, in front of me!

Awful One: Ah, you must be Nezu. A pleasure.

Rat God: How would you like to come to my office later for some tea, chess, and excellent conversation?

Awful One: I’d love to

Voice kink: Welp, we’re fucked

Bondage fetish: problem child if the world burns it’s your fault

Gotta blast: I fear nothing but death lmao

Chapter Text

We teach fucking gremlins

Rat God added Hisashi Midoriya to the chat!

G U N: Whomst the fucketh is this

Kit-coffee: Oh no

Kit-coffee: nezu please no

I have a mouth and I must scream: who

I have a mouth and I must scream: wait

Hisashi Midoriya changed their name to “Former Potato Man!”

Former Potato Man: Hello fellow UA staff. It is I, All For One.

Twilight:

Mole man: Nezu

Mole man: why

Mole man: is there

Mole man: a supervillain

Mole man: IN OUR CHAT!

Rat God: please welcome Hisashi Midoriya, formerly known as All For One, to the UA teaching staff!

Rat God: He’ll be assisting All Might in teaching Foundational Heroics to our first year students, as well as teaching a brand new class: Quirk Analysis!

Rat God: He will be teaching the analysis class alongside his son, Izuku Midoriya, who has shown to have quite the aptitude for analysis!

Kit-coffee: I want to fucking resign

Rat God: Sorry Aizawa! You can’t leave!

Kit-coffee: fuck

Rat God: :3

Kit-coffee: don’t give me that face

All-American Dumbass: why is my phone vibrating

Former Potato Man: Ah, Toshinori! I look forward to working with you!

All-American Dumbass:

All-American Dumbass: Goddammit

All-American Dumbass: I thought that this was a horrible dream

All-American Dumbass: clearly I must have been wrong

All-American Dumbass: Shouta hold me please

Kit-coffee: why

All-American Dumbass: I have Orange

Kit-coffee:

Kit-coffee: on my way

All-American Dumbass: thanks love

Former Potato Man: Oh? ‘Love?’

All-American Dumbass: shit

Former Potato Man: congratulations Toshinori!

Former Potato Man: Now, if you excuse me, I have to start making lesson plans!

Former Potato man: Ta-ta!!

It’s Not Easy Being Green

Awful One: I’m teaching at UA now!

Mother: congratulations Hisashi! What are you teaching?

Awful One: Foundational Heroics with All Might, and a new class on analysis.

Awful One: That reminds me!

Awful One: @Greeny

Greeny: what’s up Dad?

Awful One:

Awful One:

Greeny: Dad?

Awful One: This is Snipe, why is AfO lyin’ on the floor sobbing?

Awful One: oop, he’s mutterin’ somethin’, hold on.

Awful One: “he called me dad he called me dad he called me dad he called me dad he called me dad he called me dad he called me dad he called me dad he called me dad he called me dad”

Awful One: who knows what happened?

Greeny: Oh, I may have called him Dad

Awful One: That explains it

Awful One: Anyway, Nezu wants ya to teach his new analysis class alongside your pops

Awful One: somethin about notebooks and bein talented already

Greeny: !!!

Greeny: NEZU WANTS ME TO TEACH A CLASS?!

Awful One: Yepperoni

Awful One: oop, your pops is coming too, gonna give him his phone back now

Awful One:

Awful One: Izuku, do you… think of me as a father?

Greeny:

Greeny: Yeah, I think I do now.

Greeny: there was a time where I hated you for leaving. I thought you didn’t even care, but I think I’ve moved past that

Greeny: I’m happy to call you dad

Awful One:

Awful One: This is Snipe again

Awful One: AfO passed out on the couch

Awful One:

Awful One: Midoriya

Greeny: okay that one’s my fault

Greeny: tell Nezu I’d be happy to teach

Awful One: will do

We teach fucking gremlins

Rat God: I have received something interesting today!

Rat God: Apparently, Inasa Yoarashi wants to transfer to UA

G U N: I know, he told me about this

G U N: want me to help fill out paperwork?

Rat God: nope! Already taken care of! Also, @Kit-coffee Yoarashi will be joining your class!

Kit-coffee: fuck

Kit-coffee: alright then.

Yipeekayay, Motherfucker

Screaming Cowboy: Inasa, Nezu finalized the paperwork.

Screaming Cowboy: Welcome to 1-A, kiddo. Please don’t kill yourself.

Tumbleweed: GASP

Tumbleweed: WOOHOO I MADE IT IN!

Tumbleweed: I WILL SEE YOU THERE DAD!

Good, bad, ugly: Ayyy you’re in my class!

Class 1-Gay

Bondage fetish: Alright gremlins, you got a new transfer student joining your class. Be nice and don’t scare them off.

Bondage fetish: Sourphe, if you may

The color out of space: gladly

The color out of space added “Inasa Yoarashi” to the chat!

Inasa Yoarashi changed their name to “Gone with the wind!”

Gone with the wind: HELLO CLASS 1-A!

Gone with the wind: I CANNOT WAIT TO JOIN YOU IN YOUR WONDERFUL SCHOOL

Bakagan: oh good fuck it’s baldy

Gone with the wind: GOOD TO SEE YOU TOO BAKUGOU!

Gone with the wind: ALSO, I AM NOT BALD

Wheeyyy: please turn off caps lock

Gone with the wind: sorry!

Gone with the wind: that being said, I don’t know any of you. Can I get names and pronouns? Also sexualities if you're comfy?

Metatton petillant: Aoyama! He/she/they and genderfluid!

E.T call the doctor: Mina, she/her and big pan

Kero: Asui Tsu, she/her, lesbian. call me Tsu or I’ll cut you, kero

He zoom: Tenya Iida, he/him and questioning, welcome to 1-A!

Wheeyyy: Kaminari, he/them and gay, welcome to 1-A! Leave your luck and self-preservation instincts at the door

Bondage fetish: what did I just say Kaminari

Wheeyyy: gotta blast!

I’ll shank a bitch: Uraraka, she/her and big bi. My name is accurate

Floof: Ojiro Mashirao, he/him and straight, but an ally!

Blackmail: Toru Hagakure, she/her and see above!

Sunshine: Kirishima! he/him and big gay

Sunshine^2: ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ (*≧▽≦)

Best Cook: Translation: Koda Koji, they/them and ace!

Best Cook: also, Sato Rikido, he/him and bi!

Gone with the wind: Thank you Sato! I will try to learn how you chat Koda, so please be patient with me!

Sunshine^2: (＾▽＾)

Dupli-dicks: Shoji Mezo, he/them and ace

Dork Shadow: Tokoyami Fumikage, he/him and also ace

Dork Shadow: DARK SHADOW, HE/HIM AND GAY!!

Dork Shadow: sorry about him

Tangled buds: Jiro, she/her and lesbian

Goddess: Momo, she/her and pan!

Tangled buds: that’s my girlfriend bitches

Phillius the Swift: Sero Hanta, he/him and gay! Come to me if you need anything taped up!

Ice ice baby: todoroki, he/him and gay

Bakagan:

Bakagan: do I have to

Gotta blast: yes Kacchan

Bakagan: fucking fine

Bakagan: Bakugo, he/him and gay. Call me Katsuki and I’ll kill you.

Gotta blast: :D

Gotta blast: Midoriya Izuku, but you can also call me Deku! He/him and disaster gay lmao.

The color out of space: you know who I am Inasa.

Gone with the wind: I do indeed! That being said, thank you for telling me! It’s only fair that I do the same!

Gone with the wind: Inasa Yoarashi, but you can all call me Inasa! He/him and very gay!

Wheeyy: wait how do you know Sourphe?

Gone with the wind:

The color out of space:

Yipeekayay, Motherfucker

Tumbleweed: They’re asking about us

Tumbleweed: can we tell them?

Screaming Cowboy: sure, just add me to the chat after

Tumbleweed: cool thx

Class 1-Gay

Gone with the wind: Johann and I are brothers!

The color out of space: we were separately adopted by Snipe when we were young.

The color out of space: which reminds me

The color out of space added Snipe to the chat!

Snipe changed their name to “G U N!”

G U N: Yeehaw motherfuckers

Wheeyyy: YOOO IT’S SNIPE!

Sunshine: what’s it like living with Snipe?

Gone with the wind: a lot of cowboy memes

The color out of space: Ectoplasm also comes over alot.

G U N: Ecto and I are in a stable pardnership y’all!

Gotta blast: (*ﾟﾛﾟ)

Gotta blast: Congrats!!

Bakagan: @Ghostbuster what the fuck does Snipe look like under that gas mask?

Ghostbuster: very handsome!

G U N: aww Ecto, you’re gonna make me blush ٩(♡ε♡ )۶

Ghostbuster: that was the intention, yes

Gone with the wind: our parents are being cute again

The color out of space: lmao that’s surprising?

Gone with the wind: nope lmao

It’s not easy being green

Greeny: Hitoshi help

Greeny: I’m so gay

Greeny: he’s so cool and adorable what the fuck

No talk me I’m angy: oh my god thank fuck I’m not the only one

No talk me I’m angy: he’s so calm and cool I love him

Mother: who are you boys talking about?

Greeny: Suddenly I can’t read

No talk me I’m angy: What are these words in front of me

Awful One: Sus

Greeny: never say that again

Mother: I’ll drop it for now, but I expect answers

Bad touch man: Use protection

Greeny: TENKO

Chapter Text

Private Messages between Shinso and Midoriya!

Shinso: So, uh

Midoriya: what’s up

Shinso: Tokoyami seems a little… off, for lack of a better word

Midoriya: how so

Shinso: You feel like he’s ignoring us?

Shinso: like, trying to get out of rooms when we walk in, trying to finish conversations quickly with us?

Midoriya: yeah, I’ve noticed.

Shinso:

Midoriya:

Midoriya: so, what do we do?

Shinso: invite him over.

Shinso: we’re gonna talk

Private Messages between Tokoyami and Midoriya!

Midoriya: Hey Tokoyami!

Tokoyami: hello Midoriya

Midoriya: could you come over? I have a question for you

Tokoyami:

Tokoyami: I will be there shortly

---

Fumikage slowly made his way over to Midoriya’s room, his heart pounding in his throat. It’s just talking to a friend, Dark Shadow reasoned in his mind, and that was enough to help him calm down slightly. Before he knew it, he was at Midoriya’s dorm, fist poised to knock.

Was his door always this big, was all he could think before a hand shot out and dragged him into the dorm. He instinctively summoned Dark Shadow, only to find a very unimpressed Shinso and a sheepish Midoriya.

“Right!” Shinso cut in before Fumikage could say anything. “You’ve been avoiding us, and I want to know why. What did we do, or what do you think we did, so we can work on it, because this tiptoeing around is starting to get ridiculous.” Midoriya smacked Shinso’s arm and whined out, “Hicchan, be nice! You said you’d be nice.”

Fumikage, for once, was at a loss for words, so Dark Shadow decided to help, popping out and cackling, much to Fumikage’s shock and horror.

“Are ya kidding?! Fumi here’s suffering from a tiny, little, oversized crush on the two of youakhveaikufyvaeiku-” That last bit was Fumikage himself, forcing his hand around the beak of Dark Shadow and squawking loudly to cover it up. It didn’t stop Midoriya and Shinso from hearing it though.

“You… like us?” The whisper from Midoriya was quiet, but he still heard it, and his mind went into overdrive.

stupidstupidstupidhowcouldtheylikeyoubackyoustupidfumikagewhywouldyouthinkyoucouldhaveanythingyou- His thoughts were cut off when Midoriya gently pressed his lips to the tip of Fumikage’s beak, in some strange imitation of a kiss.

There was silence, before Midoriya started talking. “Silly bird, we like you too! We have for a long time now!” Fumikage was staring at him. Even Dark Shadow was quiet.

Shinso chuckled, coming to stand beside his boyfriend. “What Izukkun means is that we both like you, and would like to go out with you, if you would oblige.” Dark Shadow squawked. “DON’T FORGET ABOUT ME!”

Midoriya sputtered. “Of course I wouldn’t forget about you! You’re your own person! Your feelings are import-” Dark Shadow shoved him. “I was just playin with you!”

Fumikage studied them, trying to ascertain whether or not they were joking. He found no such sign, and he allowed himself to relax minutely. “And you two are sure of this?” Shinso nodded. “We wouldn’t be asking if we weren’t.”

Fumikage sighed. “Then, I suppose I wouldn’t be opposed,” he said before Midoriya flung himself into him, shoving him onto the bed. “Fumichan!” He said into his shirt, and Fumikage choked at that.

Shinso chuckled wryly. “It’s his way of showing people he loves them. He comes up with names for them. You can call me Hitoshi or Toshi. I don’t care.” Fumikage nodded. “You may call me Fumikage, Fumi, or Kage. As you put it, I don’t care.” Shinso (Hitoshi now, Fumikage would later think with something that was not glee. thank you very much) laughed and pulled him and Izuku closer, muttering “nap time” as he did so.

Fumikage later fell asleep running his hands through Izuku’s soft curls, while Shinso stroked his feathers from behind. It was the best he had ever slept in months.

---

It’s not easy being green

Greeny added Fumikage Tokoyami to the chat!

Greeny: @everyone, meet our new boyfriend, Fumikage Tokoyami, or, as I will be calling him until the end of time, Fumichan

Mother: so this is the mystery man you two were gushing about the other day

Greeny: MOM!

Mother: :D

Greeny:

Greeny changed Fumikage Tokoyami’s name to “Blackberry!”

Blackberry:

Blackberry: I will accept this

Greeny: :D

Blackberry: so… bright

No talk me I’m angy: I know right?

Awful One: It’s a pleasure to meet you, Tokoyami-kun

Blackberry: likewise, Midoriya-san

Awful One: As long as you treat Midoriya well, we will remain friends. Hurt him, however, and I will show you what the Symbol of Evil is capable of.

Blackberry: duly noted

Bad touch man: as, yes, the final piece of the triforce of purity

Blackberry: I understood none of that but continue

Bad touch man: it’s okay

Bad touch man: neither did I

Chapter Text

Gone with the wind: so, uh, who wants to fess up?

Wheeyyy: fess up to what?

Gone with the wind: who put fucking hair dye in the toothpaste containers

Tangled Buds: LMAOOOO WHAT

Wheeyyy: I had nothing to do with this but now I wish I did that was brilliant

Philius the Swift: how’d it taste?

Gone with the wind: what the fuck

The color out of space: Pahahahahahah! That’s brilliant

Gone with the wind: I shall find the animal who did this, and make them suffer for their crimes against humanity

Sunshine^2: I’ll take the credit. It was me（//･_･//)

Gone with the wind: no it wasn’t you. Anyone else wanna fess up?

Dupli-dicks: uhhhh

Sunshine^2: class, Shoji has something he wants to share with you (；￣Д￣）

Dupli-dicks: wtf no I don’t

Wheeyyy: oh? You don’t?

Best cook: sus

Gone with the wind:

Gone with the wind: Y O U

Dupli-dicks: oh shit

Dupli-dicks: no wait It WASN’T MESHKSGFSAUYFWGSUKYFVWL

Dork shadow: and yet another soul has been lost to the abyss

Dork shadow: what a mad banquet of darkness

The color out of space: I’d call you out on this but I’m too busy making sure my boyfriend is still alive.

Phillius the Swift: there’s something really funny about how the second-quietest guy in our class just let out a giant-ass scream as a human tornado pins him to the floor

Phillius the Swift has shared a video. Transcription provided!

[Inasa: WAS IT YOU YOU SIX-ARMED BASTARD?! HUH?!

Shoji: NO IT WASN’T I ALREADY TOLD YOU! WE DON’T EVEN SHARE A FLOOR WHY WOULD I?!

Inasa: I DON’T BELIEVE YOU! FESS UP FESS! UP! NOW!

‘Inasa pulls all of Shoji’s arms behind his back and drags him outside, Shoji screaming for help the entire way. As they leave, they pass Aizawa, who just stares at them before taking a long drink from his coffee and passing by.’

Shoji: NO SENSEI COME BACK PLEASE

Inasa: god can’t save you from your crimes you bastard.

‘They dissapear. Shoji is still screaming.’]

Tangled buds: Jesus fucking Christ

Dork shadow: as incredibly entertaining as this whole thing is, @Gone with the wind please don’t hurt my friend. He’s the only one who can reach the tall shelves

The color out of space: Don’t hurt my boyfriend. He’s the only one I have

Gotta blast: why is there a giant rug burn in the carpet?

Gotta blast:

Gotta blast: oh

Gotta blast: Shoji I’m disappointed in you

Dork shadow: oh no

Wheeyyy: Shoji’s never gonna recover from that

Sunshine: the disappointed Midobro.

Best cook: so, uh… who wants cookies?

Best cook: ... hello?

Best cook: WAIT WHERE DID YOU ALL COME FROM JESUS CHRISWRKJHVSKJVBWELIFUYWLI

Private message between Sunshine^2 and Best cook!

Sunshine^2: I did it. It was me.

Best cook: wait why

Sunshine^2: I thought it would be funny

Best cook: why blame Shoji?

Sunshine^2: that fucker scared off my friend Mark

Best cook: what, the squirrel?

Sunshine^2: THE SQUIRREL HAS A NAME

Best cook: okay okay jesus christ

Best cook: I should probably tell them

Sunshine^2: do it, pussy

Sunshine^2: nobody will ever believe you (*^▽^*)

Best cook: that’s terrifying. Thank you

Class 1-Gay

Best cook: is… is Shoji alive?

Gone with the wind: Yes! I learned that he hadn’t done it so we’re now getting ice cream together!

The color out of space: don’t steal my boyfriend you fucking airbender

Gone with the wind: watch me

--some time later--

Gotta blast: hey Dad?

Awful One: what’s up?

Gotta blast: can you come to the common room pls? I have something for you

Awful One: of course!!

Bad touch man: I’m coming to see this

Coffat:

Coffat: is that

Coffat: Hisashi Midoriya

Coffat: getting sprayed in the face with a jet of pressurized water

Coffat: as soon as he opened the box

Gotta blast: yep! Thank Hatsume!!

Awful One:

Awful One: I can’t say I’m surprised

Gotta blast: sorry about that. I couldn’t resist. Here’s the actual thing I wanted to give you

Awful One:

Awful One: Izuku, are these…?

Gotta blast: yep

Awful One: you got me pictures… of the three of us before I left…

Gotta blast: yep

Awful One: How did you… how did you even get these? And why?!

Gotta blast: well, mom knows someone who works in printing photos. She found the photos on her phone and sent them over last week.

Gotta blast: as for why, well, I thought you’d like them. You might have lost them when you had to disappear.

Gotta blast: happy birthday, dad

Awful One:

Awful One:

Bad touch man: Look what you did Izukun, he’s crying into a couch

Gotta blast: I regret nothing

I’ll shank a bitch: that was so SOFT AHHHHH

I’ll shank a bitch: that being said

I’ll shank a bitch has shared one (1) photo!

I’ll shank a bitch: the expression of pure regret on his face LMAOO

Sunshine: sometimes it’s hard to remember that this man merely existing nearly made me shit my pants at Kamino

Goddess: I feel the same way

Ice ice baby: guys

Ice ice baby: Guys

Ice ice baby: GUYS HELP

He zoom: what’s the matter, Todoroki?

Ice ice baby: it’s my father.

Ice ice baby: he’s calling me

Ice ice baby; and he wants me to come home.

Gotta blast: oh shit

I’ll shank a bitch: let him try

I’ll shank a bitch: I send him to fucking Pluto

Sunshine: what happened with Endeavor?

Sunshine: I mean, I hate him as much as the next guy, but what happened?

Ice ice baby:

Gotta blast: you don’t have to say anything Todo.

Ice ice baby:

Ice ice baby: who here knows about Quirk Marriages?

Blackmail: no

Blackmail: he didn’t

Wheeyyy: holy shit

Wheeyyy: I knew he was bad, but to sink that low?!

Tangled buds: you know about Quirk Marriages, Kami?

Wheeyyy: of course I do. My moms hate them. They worked to try to ban them

Ice ice baby: so Endeavor marries a woman with an ice quirk and starts pumping out kids, hoping to have a child with a perfect balance between ice and fire quirks.

Ice ice baby: his first son, Toya, had a really powerful fire quirk, but it was too hot for his body to handle, and he burned to death when I was a child.

My older brother, Natsuo, is quirkless, and my sister Fuyumi has an ice quirk. My father ignored them. Then I came along

Ice ice baby: I had the quirk that father was looking for, so he trained me from the moment my quirk came in. He beat me and beat me until I passed out, then continued to beat me once I woke up. He abused and hurt my mother, to the point that she had a mental breakdown and poured boiling water on the left side of my face, because it reminded her of him

Ice ice baby; she froze it over as soon as she poured it, and that’s the only reason I can still see from my left eye.

Ice ice baby: father put her in a mental hospital, and I hadn’t been able to see her until after the sports festival.

Blackmail:

Wheeyyy:

Sunshine:

Sunshine^2:

Dork shadow:

Bakagan: I’m gonna kill him

I’ll shank a bitch: leave some pieces for me. I’ll send him to the fucking moon

He zoom:

Tangled buds: Wow. I didn’t think it was possible to hate him even more, but you learn something new every day

Best cook: he won’t get you, Todoroki

Best cook: we’ll stop him from even setting foot on dorm grounds

Best cook: right, guys?

21 users reacted with :thumbsup:

Ice ice baby:

Ice ice baby: thanks guys

Rat God: hmm, I see

Rat God: Todoroki, if you come to my office right now, we can set up a house for you on campus to stay at!

Rat God: we can also work to remove you and your siblings from your father’s custody, if you so desire!

Ice ice baby: you… you would?

Bondage fetish: of course we would

Ice ice baby: but… he’s the number 1 hero. How can you go against him?

Rat God: ah! But we have someone better! We have the word of All Might!!

Y’all Might: Correct. I’m not going to let him hurt you anymore. I’ll do everything in my power to help you.

Ice ice baby:

Ice ice baby: ...I’m coming over Nezu

Ice ice baby: ...thanks

32 users responded with :heart:

Awful One: Todoroki

Awful One: when you and Nezu are done, I’d like you to come over to my apartment. There’s someone I think you should meet. Bring your siblings.

Ice ice baby: Alright. Thank you Midoriya-san. I’ll let them know.

Private chat between Hisashi Midoriya and Dabi!

Hisashi Midoriya: Shoto is coming to the apartment to meet you.

Hisashi Midoriya: he told his class everything about what Endeavor did to him and the rest of you, and Nezu is working on removing him from Endevor’s care and placing him in campus housing.

Hisashi Midoriya: He doesn’t know you’re Toya, but he’s coming today, so be ready

Dabi:

Dabi: Alright. Thanks for letting me know.

Chapter Text

Hisashi opened the door to his apartment before Shoto even had the chance to knock. “Ah, hello there Shoto! It’s a pleasure to see you again, although I don’t think I know your siblings.” Shoto turned around to beckon his siblings forward. There was a brief silence, before Fuyumi, ever the practical one, stepped forward and shook Hisashi’s hand. “I am Fuyumi, Shoto’s older sister. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

Hisashi laughed. “Ah, it’s so nice to see someone so polite in this day and age!” He eagerly shook Fuyumi’s hand, letting go with a smile and turning to the other man in the hallway. Natsuo came forward and also shook Hisashi’s hand. “Natsuo. Shoto’s brother,” he grunted.

Hisashi smiled at the three of them. “It’s a pleasure to meet the two of you. Now, to business.” He stepped inside and beckoned them into the apartment. “As you may be wondering, young Shoto here told his class a rather disturbing story about his childhood. Something about Quirk Marriages and child abuse.” Fuyumi gasped and Natsuo clenched his jaw, but Hisashi kept going. “Have no fear! We have no plans to let Endeavor know about anything he told us, but we are working to help-”

“How?!” That was Natsuo. “We’ve tried going to the heroes, but they’ve never listened to us. How do we know you’re any better?!” Hisashi smiled. It wasn’t a pretty smile, and, just for a moment, Shoto felt the same feeling that had plagued him at Kamino.

“Because, Natsuo, I am not a hero. In fact, you could call me a villain. I am the notorious villain known as All for One, and I will do whatever I think will help me. And, right now, I want nothing more than to take down your father.”

Natsuo was cowering behind Fuyumi at this point, who looked like she wanted to grab Shoto and flee. “And how can we trust you not to hold us for ransom?”

Hisashi smiled. “Because, to the world, All for One is dead. I removed my villain persona to spend time with my family. However, bringing up that you used to be an ancient villain still works wonders.”

Natsuo slowly came back out of hiding. “So, what do you plan to do about him?”

HIsashi smirked. “I’m working with UA, and we plan to provide the four of you free housing on UA’s campus, far from Endeavor’s grasp. We’ll provide for what you need, and we’ll also work to get you removed from his custody.”

“That’s wonderful-wait. What do you mean, four?” That was Fuyumi. “There are only three of us.”

Hisashi had the balls to look chagrined. “Oh! That’s right! I forgot.” He turned towards one of the doors. “Come on out, Dabi.”

There was silence, before a tall man with loads of scars slunk out (or was he pushed out?) into the main room, looking very uncomfortable. His face and arms were covered in staples and his hair was stark white. He looked up at the confused siblings, smiled, and waved.

“Hello. I’m Toya.”

There was silence. Nobody moved, not until Fuyumi opened her mouth.

“Bullshit.” Shoto flinched. “Toya is dead. They found his jawbone.” She turned to Hisashi. “I don’t know who you think you are, but this isn’t funny.” She started to walk out, but Dabi (Toya?) started talking.

“We went to the zoo when you were 2. I held you up to the Bengal Tiger exhibit and you got to see them up close. One of the tigers even tried to lick you through the fence. I think Endeavor actually smiled after that.” Fuyumi turned to stare at him. “I… I never told anyone about that. How did you-”

“Natsuo. You wanted to become a doctor because of all the times you had to patch me up. I remember you said you weren’t gonna do it anymore and I had to bribe you with gummy bears.” Natsuo looked like someone had slapped him and he couldn’t believe the audacity.

“Shoto. You saw a snowflake outside when you were 3 and tried to catch it with your tongue, but you didn’t know there was glass in the way so you stuck and froze your tongue to the sliding door. I had to come and melt what I could, but I couldn’t risk burning you so we just had to wait for it to-” Natsuo cut him off when he flung himself into Toya’s chest, sobbing.

“You asshole!” he blubbered. “We all thought you were dead! Would it have killed you to send a note?! Just a ‘hi. I’m not dead’ letter so that we wouldn’t have thought that it was our fault you died!” Toya just stared, before Fuyumi walked over and hugged him as well.

“I’m still mad at you,” she whispered. Toya chuckled. “I know.”

Shoto… didn’t know what to do, until Toya looked at him and smiled, and then he was over in an instant, joining the group hug. He was crying. Was he? He couldn’t tell. That didn’t matter anymore. Toya was alive, and he was here

Toya sniffled, and started talking. “They’re planning on getting mom out of the hospital. We’ll all be free. We’re gonna be okay.”

If anything, this just made the four of them cry harder, barely registering the world around them, at least until they heard the flash of a camera.

Shoto slowly raised his head up and growled a choked “Midoriya.” Distantly, he heard a “gotta blast,” and sprinting feet.

Goddammit.

---

After the four of them had cleaned themselves up, Nezu appeared on top of the dining room table, as if by magic. Not even waiting for Fuyumi and Natsuo to pick themselves up after they had fallen out of shock, he produced a stack full of papers and started separating them into four piles.

“These are all the papers you need to sign to get yourselves removed from his custody and placed under UA care!” Shoto, Natsuo and Toya didn’t even wait, picking up pens and getting to work. Fuyumi stood there for a moment, considering, before picking up her own pen and signing.

---

Once all the boring work was finished, Izuku led Shoto and his two siblings to meet the rest of the former League of Villains. Spinner was a person that was actually really good at cooking, but he had some sort of strane worship for Midoriya, which made much more sense after learning that he was a follower of Stain. Himiko Toga was a girl that, frankly, gave him the creeps. She was always bubbly and dancing around, and sometimes she would look at Izuku as if she wanted to eat him. Kurogiri was his second favorite. He was quiet and collected, seemingly the only person who was actually sane. His favorite though was Sako Atsuhiro, Kurogiri’s… boyfriend? Datemate? Lover? He wasn’t sure. But Sako was amazing. He was overly dramatic, yes, and his mask left much to be desired, but he was a kind soul and seemed genuinely helpful. Kurogiri seemed to like him, too.

Out of all of them, Shigaraki (Shimura) was strange to Shoto. He seemed incredibly awkward, playing with his three-fingered gloves. He didn’t seem to be attacking them, though, so that’s likely a good thing.

He just decided to relax, right before he noticed Shi(mura) whispering in Natsuo’s ear and placing a piece of paper in his hand. He also saw Natsuo turn bright red and shove the slip away, and he smirked. He was so going to tease Natsuo about this.

---

The Hoes are Back

Magician’s Red added Toya Todoroki to the chat!

Magician’s Red: change your name to a stand

Toya Todoroki: a what?

Pet Shop: You don’t know what Stands are?!

Aqua Necklace: that does it. We’re watching JoJo once we move into the housing. All four of us. This is inexcusable.

Aqua Necklace changed Toya Todoroki’s name to Green Day!

Green Day: I don’t get it

Pet Shop: you don’t need to

Magician’s Red: Now then.

Magician’s Red: Natsuo

Magician’s Red: Did Tenko ask you out

Aqua Necklace: djshvsokucyvaksvaesl

Aqua Necklace: WHAT

Aqua Necklace: How’d you even get that conclusion

Magician’s Red: He gave you a slip of paper and told you something that obviously made you flustered. What happened

Pet Shop: Spill

Magician’s Red: Spill

Green Day: Spill

Aqua Necklace: Even you Toya?!

Green Day: S p i l l

Aqua Necklace: okay okay fine jeez

Aqua Necklace: He invited me out to see a movie that he wanted to see. Then we were thinking of having dinner.

Aqua Necklace:

Aqua Necklace: BUT IT’S NOT A DATE

Magician’s Red: uh-huh

Pet Shop: sure

Aqua Necklace: fuck

Pet Shop: When’s the event?

Aqua Necklace: this Saturday

Pet Shop: in all seriousness, enjoy your meetup!

Green Day: get some, Natsu

Magician’s Red: use protection

Aqua Necklace: Goddammit Shoto

Chapter Text

Floof: Shopping Shopping Shopping Shopping Shopping Shopping Shopping Shopping Shopping

Wheeyyy: Do… do you need help Ojiro?

Floof: sorry. I just like shopping.

Floof: I know, I know, it’s weird.

Wheeyyy: It’s not weird man! Shopping is fun! I was just surprised by your enthusiasm lol.

Floof: Oh

Floof: You wanna go with me and Toru?

Wheeyyy: Sure!

He zoom: Alright! I have compiled a list of items that we need for our shopping trip for Shoto-Kun! We can either go as a group, or we can split up and go get all the materials to speed things along!

Ice ice baby: I think we should go together, just to be safe

Gotta blast: Yeah. We’re definitely the unlucky class

I’ll shank a bitch: and who’s fault is that Deku?

Gotta blast:

Gotta blast: <

I’ll shank a bitch: GET BACK HERE

---

Mettaton petillant: nonononononononono Shoto!

Mettaton petillant: you have a fashion sense! I know you do!

Ice ice baby: correction

Ice ice baby: I had a fashion sense

Ice ice baby: there’s a difference

Mettaton petillant: THAT DOES NOT EXCUSE THIS

Mettaton petillant: WHO BUYS A BRIGHT YELLOW SWEATER AND DOUSES IT IN HOT PINK?!

Gotta blast: Shoto, Aoyama has a point

Gotta blast: That is horrendous

Ice ice baby: Well fuck both of you. I like this

I’ll shank a bitch: let him have it

Ice ice baby: I want that paint

Ice ice baby: the neon paint

Ice ice baby: I want it

Mettaton petillant: WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?!

Ice ice baby: in case my father comes to the housing. I want his eyes to melt out of their sockets from the color.

Mettaton petillant:

Mettaton petillant: oh

Mettaton petillant: well that’s alright then carry on

He zoom: not to interrupt this, but where’s Tokoyami?

Gotta blast:

Coffat:

Gotta blast: Hicchan?

Coffat: Izukkun?

Gotta blast: we passed a Hot Topic, didn’t we

Coffat:

Coffat:

Coffat: FUCK WE DID

Gotta blast: WE’LL CATCH UP WE GOTTA GO GET OUR BOYFRIEND

I’ll shank a bitch: Alright we’ll wait

I’ll shank a bitch:

I’ll shank a bitch: WAIT BOYFRIEND?!

I’ll shank a bitch: DEKU?!

---

Gotta blast: we’re back

Dork shadow: I apologize for my delay. I was coming with you, when I happened across an item I had to purchase for Shoto-kun.

Ice ice baby: is this… a sword?

Dork shadow: indeed.

Ice ice baby:

Ice ice baby: i love it

Ice ice baby: could you teach me to use it? I’ve never used a sword before

Dork shadow: gladly. I’m happy you enjoy the gift

Gotta blast: he’s blushing

Dork shadow: IZUKU

I’ll shank a bitch: ARE THE THREE OF YOU DATING?! SPILL

Gotta blast: yes we are.

I’ll shank a bitch: you’re perfect together

I’ll shank a bitch: onto the rest of Shoto’s shopping!

---

Ice ice baby: fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck

Ice ice baby: @everyone code red.

Ice ice baby: he’s here. At the hardware store

Ice ice baby: hurry please

Goddess: on our way

---

Why.

Why did the world hate him so? Why did he have to constantly see his father again and again? Why couldn’t he just be happy?

Those thoughts were running through Shoto’s head as he stared at his father, fully decked out in hero gear and completely unhappy. He stepped forward, and suddenly Shoto wasn’t in the mall. He was 5 again, kneeling in front of his father, who towered over him, as he always would.

“Shoto.” The rumbling of his voice definitely didn’t help. “Would you like to explain to me why I cannot come see you at UA? The school that I am paying for you to attend? The school that I can take you out of at any moment?!” He was yelling at this point, and Shoto could do nothing but curl in on himself, whimpering.

As the world turned black around him, he barely registered the sound of an explosion, followed by cursing.

---

Katsuki saw red. Who did this bastard think he was, to be talking to Icy-hot that way? Especially when he was curled up crying. Endeawhore took another step forward, had outstretched, and Katsuki didn’t think. He ran forward and blasted that hand away, making him stumble backward. Behind him, he saw Shitty Hair gently picking Icyhot up and nodding to him, his permanent smile gone.

Endeawhore roared at him. “Who do you think you are, you little brat?! I am the number one hero! You’re-”

“Oh my god, shut the fuck up you walking trashcan!” Katsuki yelled right back at him. “Who gave you the right to track Shoto down and yell at him, especially after Nezu gave you a fucking restraining order!”

Endeavor grinned at him, and Katsuki cringed internally. If he was trying to be threatening, he failed. “Shoto is my son. It is my right to see him whenever I want, and no law will stop me.”

Katsuki smirked right back. “Then I guess I’ll have to.”He cracked his knuckles. “I, the provisional hero Dynamight, am putting you under arrest for violation of a court order. Make this easier on us and don’t resist.”

Endeavor laughed and strode forward, but was stopped when Katsuki ran up to him, jumped up, and blasted him in the face. He fell backwards, but managed to get up quickly. Roaring, he charged towards the young hero, but streams to tape launched from the sky, wrapping around his legs and tripping him up. Sugar high and Multi Arms came running over and helped to pin him down, and the Vice Prez made a sheet of ice to keep him from using his fire.

They stayed their until the police came, at which point Katsuki, Flat Face, Sugar High, Vice Prez, and Multi Arms gave their statements as Endeawhore was wrestled into the back of a car.

He turned back to see Shitty Hair holding Icy Hot and sighed. “C’mon extras. Let’s head back to campus. We’ll come back later.” Deku looked like he wanted to protest, but Eyebags and Bid Brain whispered something to him under their breaths and he sighed.

Without another word, the class turned and returned to UA, silently praying that Aizawa hadn’t seen or heard about any of this.

He had.

---

Ice ice baby: @Bakagan thank you

Ice ice baby: thank you so much. I don’t know what would’ve happened if you hadn’t stepped in

Bakagan: tch

Bakagan: one of the shitty extras would have stepped in

Bakagan: Round face looked like she would have killed him

Ice ice baby: still, thank you

Bakagan:

Bakagan: you’re welcome

Gotta blast: are you okay Shoto?

Ice ice baby: I… I'm doing better Midoriya. Thanks

Bondage fetish: now that that’s over…

Bondage fetish: @Bakagan @Dupli-dicks @Goddess @Best cook @Phillius the Swift Detention

Bakagan: WHAT WHY

Bondage fetish: legally, I have to punish you for ‘attacking a pro,’ no matter the context

Bondage fetish: in reality, we’re just gonna treat this like a free period for you guys. I’ll even give you fucking medals.

Bondage fetish: @everyone the rest of you are welcome to join them as well

Sunshine: aight bet.

Sunshine: where’s Endeawhore I’m gonna punch him to get detention with my favorite blasty

Bakagan: shut it shitty hair

Sunshine: lmao

Voice kink: anyone who wants to, come over to detention. I’ll put on an old pre-quirk movie!

Gotta blast: which one:

Voice kink: Indiana Jones. Movie 1

Gotta blast: @Coffat @Dork shadow coming?

Coffat: bet

Dork shadow: I will be there

Dork shadow: ME TOO

Gotta blast: Can’t wait to see you there Shadow! <3

Coffat: <3

Dork shadow:

Dork shadow: <3

Wheeyyy: GAYYY

Chapter Text

I’ll shank a bitch: photo.thesesoftassemobois.jpg

[the image shows Fumikage asleep on top of a passed out Izuku, whose nose is buried in his feathers. Hitoshi is leaning over the back of the couch, petting Izuku’s hair and smiling. The image seems to radiate its own blinding sunshine.]

I’ll shank a bitch: @kero WHY DON’T WE DO SHIT THIS CUTE?!

Kero:

Kero: aight come here we’ll cuddle

I’ll shank a bitch: bet

---

Gotta blast: URARAKA WHY DID YOU TAKE A PICTURE

Coffat:

Dork shadow:

Coffat: saved

Dork shadow: made it into my wallpaper

Gotta blast: haaashzfwgejuk

Awful One: Young Uraraka, how much will it cost to get that picture printed

Gotta blast: DAD

I’ll shank a bitch: how much are you willing to pay?

Awful One: I was a criminal overlord

Awful One: I have literal millions, maybe billions. I haven’t checked

I’ll shank a bitch: I want a few thousand

Awful One: done

Awful One: do you accept Paypal?

I’ll shank a bitch: yep!

Gotta blast: you’re all dead to me

I’ll shank a bitch: consider this revenge for last night you horny gremlins

Gotta blast: YOU HEARD THAT?!

Kero: everyone did

Goddess: We live on the other side of the dorms and we still heard it

Bakagan: If you’re gonna be fucking horny, do it somewhere else

Ice ice baby: I did not need to know that my first friend calls his boyfriends sir and daddy respectively

Bad touch man: ew

Awful One: I did not need to know that about my son

Gotta blast: And I didn’t need to know my dad enjoys being pegged, but here we are

Awful One:

Awful One: I…

Gotta blast: tell me I’m wrong bitch

Awful One: in all fairness, have you seen Inko when she gets angry?

Gotta blast: so you’re into sadomasochism

Awful One: NO

Bad touch man: this is the most entertainment I’ve had all week lmao

Awful One: you shut your mouth I’ve listened to you gush about Natsuo Todoroki for the entire week

Bad touch man: shut it dad

Ice ice baby: oh yeah! Your date’s tomorrow, right?

Bad touch man: stop. How’d you even find out about that!!

Ice ice baby: y’know, sometimes I wonder what Natsu, my brother, sees in you

Bad touch man:

Bad touch man: oh

Gotta blast: Oh! You’re going on a date Tenko-nii?

Gotta blast: That’s great! Good luck!

Bad touch man:

Bad touch man: Thanks, Izu-tan

Dork shadow: Izuku, come back to my room. Hitoshi’s already here and I want cuddles from both my loves.

Gotta blast: ON MY WAY

Kero: please keep it down

Dork shadow: we are not going to fornicate you dirty-minded pissant.

Coffat: we’re just sleeping and holding each other

Coffat: Fumikage’s so warm…

Gotta blast: I’m here. Let me in

Dork shadow: coming

Coffat: no don’t leave me my love…

---

Private chat between Sunshine and Gotta blast!

Sunshine: Midobro!

Gotta blast: Hey Kiri-kun! What’s up?

Sunshine: I have a question for you about Bakubro and Todobro

Gotta blast: shoot

Sunshine: do you… do you think I’d have a chance with them?

Gotta blast: huh

Sunshine: oh.

Gotta blast: nonono not like that!

Gotta blast: I think you do have a chance, honestly.

Gotta blast: If not with Todoroki then definitely with Kacchan.

Sunshine: Really?!

Gotta blast: really

Gotta blast: don’t tell him I told you, but Kacchan definitely likes you

Gotta blast: but he won’t make the first move. You have to yourself.

Gotta blast: if you want I can add you to my ploy chat to get perspective from Hicchan and Fumichan?

Sunshine: that’d be awesome!

---

Big Bird and the Nest

Glowstick added Ejiro Kirishima to the chat!

Glowstick: Guys! Kiri-kun needs help with his gay panic!!

My shadow is alive: Ah. Bakugo and Todoroki, correct?

Ejiro Kirishima: HOW DID YOU KNOW?!

Gay at first fight: boy it’s obvious. Everyone knows your crushes.

Ejiro Kirishima: anyway, do I have a chance?

My shadow is alive: yes

Gay at first fight: yes. Have you seen how Bakugo looks at you?

Glowstick: and Todoroki likes to gay panic about you

My shadow is alive: I’d suggest talking to both of them at once. Don’t talk to one at a time. It’ll just inspire jealousy in the person you didn’t talk to first. It did for me, because I loved both Izuku and Hitoshi, but they were dating each other and didn't show any interest in me. I thought that this was something I’d never have, and it took them kidnapping me outside their door to get to where we are now.

My shadow is alive: basically, if you’re gonna tell them, tell both of them at once. It saves a lot of pain

Ejiro Kirishima: thanks Tokobro!

My shadow is alive: it is nothing

Ejiro Kirishima: I’m gonna tell them. All three of them

Glowstick: nice!

Glowstick: wait, THREE?!

Ejiro Kirishima: gotta blast:

Ejiro Kirishima has left the chat!

---

Class 1-Gay

Sunshine: @bakagan @ice ice baby @gone with the wind could the three of you come to my room please?

Bakagan: sure

Ice ice baby: k

Gone with the wind: I will be there shortly!

---

Ejiro heard three knocks from the door to his dorms. Groaning, he pushed himself up and walked over to the door, opening it to reveal the tall form of Inasa standing over him, shadowing Bakugo and Todoroki in front of him. He stepped aside, nonverbaly inviting them in and trying to avoid the watering in his mouth at the three of them.

Once they made themselves comfortable, Bakugo spoke up. “Alright Shitty Hair, we’re here. That fuck do you want?” Ejiro swallowed, and took the plunge.

“If I said that I was romantically interested in all three of you, how would you react?” Inasa didn’t even wait, rushing over and swinging Ejiro around. “I would do this, and tell you I was also interested!” He boomed out, a big grin on his face as he set Ejiro down. Bakugo strode over to the dazed boy and lightly pecked him on the cheek. “I’d tell you that I’m also interested in you and call you a fucking moron for not figuring it out sooner.” Todoroki walked over and pecked him on the nose. “And I’d say it’s lucky that I also like you three.”

Ejiro laughed weakly. “Then it’s lucky I do have crushes on all three of you, isn’t it?” Bakugo laughed. “Same.” Inasa nodded vigorously, and added “I also have feelings for the three of you!” Shoto nodded and pointed to Inasa. “What he said.”

Bakugo smirked. “If we’re doing this, then you will all call me Katsuki.” Shoto spoke up again. “Call me Shoto.”

Ejiro smiled. “Call me Ejiro.” The next thing he knew, he was falling onto the bed with Katsuki and Shoto, trapped in the arms of a bawling Inasa as he repeatedly kissed the three of them. Katsuki laughed at the giant’s antics, while Shoto just smiled, and Ejiro felt his heart soar.

Maybe, he thought before sleep claimed him. Wearing your heart on your sleeve isn’t so bad.

---

Class 1-Gay

Gotta blast: How’d it go Kiri-kun

Sunshine: I have three boyfriends now!

E.T call the doctor: WHO? SPILL SPILL SPILL

Bakagan: yo

Ice ice baby: hi

Gone with the wind: hello!

Phillius the Swift: finally

Wheeyyy: I thought you four pining idiots would never get over yourselves

Bakagan: WHAT DID YOU SAY DUNCE FACE?! I'LL KILL YOU

Wheeyyy: eep

Sunshine: noooo Katsuki… come back to bed

Bakagan:

Wheeyyy:

Bakagan: you live for now

Wheeyyy: 0_0

Gotta blast: the Kacchan-Whisperer strikes again

Bakagan: YOU’RE DEAD TOO DEKU, ONCE WE’RE DONE HERE!

Gotta blast: eep

Gotta blast: Hicchan, Fumichan, help

Coffat: lol nope

Dork shadow: you did this to yourself, my love

Coffat: we’ll hold your funeral for you.

Gotta blast: guess I’ll die lmao

Chapter Text

Hey guys,

So, I have a question. I'm planning on writing a good parent AfO fic, where he raises Izuku, featuring the Smashed Potato (AfO x All Might) ship. Why? Because I think the concept is fucking hilarious. The fic would also include Tokodeku, because I like to stick to one thing. If I wrote that, how many of you would read that?

Chapter Text

Hello

I'm happy to announce that the very worst thing I've ever written, Could You Have Thought it Would Turn Out This Way? (I'm Dating My Worst Enemy), is now out for human consumption. This is that AFO/All Might fic I was talking about, so if that bothers you, do not follow this link. There's also some TOkodeku in here, because why not. Enjoy. Updates on this fic are gonna be slower as priorities shift over to the Smashed Potato fic, but there will be updates, so don't abandon this one just yet.

Chapter Text

Yipeekayay, Motherfucker

Screaming Cowboy: @everyone FAMILY EMERGENCY HELP

The good, the bad, and the ugly: what

Tumbleweed: this better be good I’m cuddling with Eiji over here

Screaming Cowboy: This is big I promise!

Screaming Cowboy: picture.HELP.jpg

Tumbleweed: HOLY SHIT

The good, the bad, and the ugly: IS THAT A RING?!

Screaming Cowboy: YES

Screaming Cowboy: I JUST DON’T KNOW WHEN TO GIVE IT TO HIM HELP

The good, the bad, and the ugly: OKAY

The good, the bad, and the ugly: Okay, give me a sec. I’ve got this

---

Johann Sourphe created the chat “Ectosnipe!”

Johann Sourphe added Ashido Mina, Izuku Midoriya, and 19 others to the chat!

Johann Sourphe: Alright @everyone, what happens in here stays in here. Got it?

Ashido Mina: give me one reason why this shouldn’t go to the gossip chat

Johann Sourphe: first of all, everyone in the gossip chat is already in here so don’t even try

Ashido Mina: Boo you whore

Johann Sourphe: second of all, Snipe-sensei’s planning on proposing to Ectoplasm-sensei and he needs help because he’s a disaster cowboy

Kyoka Jiro: WOAH

Aoyama Yuuga: Oh my~!

Asui Tsuyu: good for him, kero

Denki Kaminari: We’re gonna help him have the best proposal ever!

Ejiro Kirishima: Oh is this why Inasa screamed at his phone and threw me off?

Johann Sourphe: probably. Anyone have any ideas?

Ashido Mina: *raises hand*

Johann Sourphe: Yes?

Ashido Mina: my cousin owns a restaurant on the other side of town. I can get in touch and get them to plan something special

Ejiro Kirishima: the food’s pretty damn good too. She dragged the entire Bakusquad out to dinner after the Sports Festival

Johann Sourphe: Mina, you’re a genius

Ashido Mina: I’m very much aware, thank you

Johann Sourphe: Right then, I think it goes without saying, but don’t talk about this chat pretty much ever.

Ashido Mina: roger

Izuku Midoriya: We want to know how it goes though.

Johann Sourphe: of course

---

Yipeekayay, Motherfucker

The good, the bad, and the ugly: location.maps

The good, the bad, and the ugly: take him there. Mina’s cousin runs it and they’ll help you have the date

Screaming Cowboy: Will do. Thanks kiddos

Tumbleweed: no problem!

Screaming Cowboy: Alright. We have a date scheduled for next Saturday. I can do this

---3 days later---

We teach fucking gremlins

I have a mouth and I must scream: Shouta Aizawa

I have a mouth and I must scream: get the fuck on the chat I know you’re on your phone

I have a mouth and I must scream: STOP HIDING BEHIND FUCKER YOU BITCH

Mole man: oh shit.

Drugs: what’d he do this time

I have a mouth and I must scream: SO

Drugs: oh boy it’s a doozy

I have a mouth and I must scream: I come into class 1-A’s room to teach english right?

Former Potato Man: like you do

I have a mouth and I must scream: stfu zoomer

Former Potato Man: I- You’re not even wrong I can’t be mad about this

I have a mouth and I must scream: So ANYWAY, I walk in, same amount of swagger as normal

Former Potato Man: so the collective swagger of a pile of stale corn chips

I have a mouth and I must scream: I will take your hair and choke you with it

Former Potato Man: that’s terrifying

I have a mouth and I must scream: So I give my trademark call to attention, but NONE OF THEM LISTEN. THEY’RE ALL ON THEIR PHONES.

Former Potato Man: and you call me a zoomer

I have a mouth and I must scream: Do you have a death wish?

I have a mouth and I must scream: So I cough, awkwardly, and, in unison mind you, they look up and say “yes, sensei?”

I have a mouth and I must scream: They’re doing all of this at the same time

I have a mouth and I must scream: So I just walked out

I have a mouth and I must scream: they’re still in there. Waiting

Twilight: God I wish my class was that interesting. The most that happens to us is when Monoma gets himself trapped in the ceiling headfirst and crashes the third-year bathrooms by accident.

Twilight: he’s done this three times now I’m genuinely worried

Kit-coffee: that sounds almost blissful compared to the shit I have to deal with

I have a mouth and I must scream: YOU

Kit-coffee: oh fu-

Drugs: annnd there he goes

Former Potato Man: phew

I have a mouth and I must scream: Don’t think I’ve forgotten about you

Former Potato Man: oh shi-

Twilight: RIP

---6 days later---

Yipeekayay, Motherfucker

Screaming Cowboy: I MOST ASSUREDLY CANNOT DO THIS HELP

The good, the bad, and the ugly: relax! You’ll be fine! It’ll all work out

Screaming Cowboy: oop. There he is. Gotta go.

Tumbleweed: go get your mans

Ectosnipe

Johann Sourphe: the date has commenced

Johann Sourphe: Snipe is sitting at the table, mask off, in a suit

Johann Sourphe: where the fuck did he find that suit it looks tacky as all hell

Aoyama Yuuga: show me

Johann Sourphe: picture.lookatthisman.jpg

Aoyama Yuuga:

Asui Tsuyu: Ah- hm

Kyoka Jiro: I'm not even into fashion and even I think that suit is awful

Momo Yaoyorozu: Sometimes I forget my teachers are complete disasters

Momo Yaoyorozu: and then I see Snipe unironically wearing a fucking banana suit

Aoyama Yuuga: I’m going to shoot myself in the head

Toru Hagakure: mood

Johann Sourphe: ECTO HAS ENTERED THE BUILDING

Johann Sourphe: I REPEAT, ECTO HAS ENTERED THE BUILDING

Ashido Mina: WHAT ARE THEY DOING

Johann Sourphe: He sat down, complimented Snipe’s suit (ew), Snipe blushed

Johann Sourphe: they’re ordering

Ashido Mina: ring in position?

Johann Sourphe: yep

---an hour later---

Johann Sourphe: alright. They’re ordering dessert

Johann Sourphe: it is time

Johann Sourphe: I have released the ring

---

Johann Sourphe: HE SAID YES!!!

Johann Sourphe: I’M GONNA HAVE ANOTHER FATHER!!

Inasa Yoarashi: !!!!!!

Ashido Mina: WHOOOOOO

Momo Yaoyorozu: Congratulations!

Tenya Iida: Congratulations Johann and Inasa! This must be a very exciting time for you!!

Johann Sourphe: Oop they’re leaving. Gotta hide

Johann Sourphe: Snipe is carrying Ecto. they’re very drunk but also happy

Johann Sourphe: Ooop. snipe just leaned over and groped his fiance. I am not going home tonight.

Johann Sourphe: @Mezo Shoji mind if I spend the night with you tonight? My dads are gonna fuck

Mezo Shoji: sure. Get over here I’m cold

Johann Sourphe: omw

Ashido Mina: congratulations Johann. You have made a very wholesome moment extremely cursed within a few minutes.

Johann Sourphe: It’s what I’m known for

Denki Kaminari: no it ain’t don’t steal my thing bitch

Johann Sourphe: sorry lol

---

We teach fucking gremlins

G U N: Ecto and I ain’t gonna be in school tomorrow.

Drugs: why not!

G U N: becoming newly engaged puts everything else to the side

Drugs: !!!

Mole Man: congrats!!

War of the clones: come back to bed Jess. I’m not done with you yet

G U N: yess sirree!

Drugs: and I thought I was the kinky one

Twilight: use protection

G U N: you’re one to talk blood kink motherfucker

Chapter Text

Class 1-Gay

Gotta blast: AIGHT SO

Gotta blast: wait no

Gotta blast: @everyone

Gotta blast: AIGHT SO

Bakagan: the fuck do you want deku? Eiji and I were napping

Gotta blast: nobody cares Kacchan now listen the fuck up

Tangled buds:

Tangled buds: the universe is collapsing and I’m not sure how to feel about this

Goddess: I agree with Kyoka.

Goddess: it is strange to see Midoriya swear

Gotta blast: I’ve been thinking about Snipe-sensei and Ectoplasm

Gotta blast: specifically, their wedding.

Gotta blast: more specifically, how to make it media proof

G U N: that has been a concern for us. But we were gonna figure this out on our own. You don’t need to worry about it kiddo.

Gotta blast:

Gotta blast:

Gotta blast: listen here you cowboy-hat-fucker

G U N: 0_0

Gotta blast: and you too, reverse-vore-man

Gotta blast: I have been staying up for the past three fucking days to figure this idea out

Gotta blast: I have an entire plan to divert the media planned out and you are all gonna listen to it or I’ll find you and make you listen, got it?

Ghostbuster:

G U N: yes sirree

Rock on: look what you did to Ecto. He’s crying in the corner and rocking back and forth in the fetal position.

Sunshine: y’know, sometimes I forget how scary Midobro is, and then he just does this

Kleptomaniac: *wipes tear away* I have raised him well

Gotta blast: :D

Y’all Might’ve: please never do that again thank you.

Gotta blast: OKAY, so here’s the plan

Coffat: this’ll be good. Y’all are gonna love this

Gotta blast: So, we first need All Might to cheat on his boyfriends

Y’all Might’ve:

Voice kink:

Bondage fetish:

Drugs: what the fuck

Kleptomaniac: Izuku please

Dork Shadow: Izuku, we talked about this. Work on phrasing your master plans, please

Gotta blast:

Gotta blast: Oh! Sorry!!

Gotta blast: I didn’t mean actually cheat! I just meant that All Might should be caught in public with his boyfriends separately.

Bondage fetish: how’d you find out we were dating?

Gotta blast: @Kleptomaniac

Bondage fetish: ah, right

Gotta blast: so then. All Might will go on a date with one of you, and will deliberately try to be caught by the media. Then, for his next date, he will go out with the other, again being caught. Make sure to switch it up and never do too many dates with the same person in a row, and we’ll have the media thinking he’s cheating within a week of this!

Voice kink:

Voice kink: I hate how good of an idea this is

Bondage fetish:

Y’all Might’ve: show of hands: who’s cool with this?

Voice kink: raises hand

Y’all Might’ve: raises hand

Bondage fetish:

Y’all Might’ve: we won’t go through with it if you don’t want to

Voice kink: yeah. We know how much you hate crowds. We’d never force you to do this

Bondage fetish:

Bondage fetish: ok. I’ll help.

Y’all Might’ve: :D

Voice kink: :D

Bondage fetish: too… bright… my… eyes

Dork shadow: now you know how I feel sensei

Gotta blast: ;(

Dork shadow: oh god I’m sorry Izuku please don’t cry

Gotta blast: :)

Kleptomaniac: oop, the missus is watching over my shoulder and wants to be in the chat. Hold on.

Kleptomaniac added Inko Midoriya to the chat!

Inko Midoriya changed their name to “The last mother!”

The last mother: there we go

The last mother: now

The last mother: I would deeply appreciate it if you took me out on one of these dates, Yagi-san.

Y’all Might’ve:

Bondage fetish:

Voice kink:

The last mother: not in a way of being attracted to you! I just wish to talk about Izuku’s quirk with you, since I hear you have a better connection to it than most. I want to discuss my worries and your plans for teaching him.

The last mother: and what better way to do it than over a fancy dinner that I’m not paying for? :D

Y’all Might’ve:

Y’all Might’ve: yes ma’am.

The last mother: excellent Yagi-san! Does this Wednesday night work for you? We can start the plan right away!

Y’all Might’ve: of course.

Y’all Might’ve: Now I’m going to go cry out of terror. Goodbye

Gotta blast: this actually makes it better, and I have more ideas

Gotta blast:

Gotta blast: @Kleptomaniac

Kleptomaniac:

Kleptomaniac: Oh NONONO! HELL no

Kleptomaniac: Why the fuck would I go out with HIM?!

Y’all Might’ve: Ex-CUSE you I am a catch!

Kleptomaniac: You’re also SKIN AND BONES you HOE!

Gotta blast: you have the perfect chemistry! Old enemies now bonded over mutual connections and jobs, a complex history, the constant eyefucking

Kleptomaniac: the what

Y’all Might’ve: the what

Gotta blast: the media will lap it up!

Kleptomaniac:

Kleptomaniac:

Gotta blast: or would you rather I asked Kurogiri?

Kleptomaniac: NO I’LL DO IT

Y’all Might’ve: what’s the matter with Kurogiri? He seems like a perfectly respectable figure!

Gotta blast: He’s also more socially awkward than Tamaki-senpai. If you flirted with him at all, never mind in public, I’m reasonably certain he’d warp himself into a fire for the sweet relief of death. I value my new uncle too much to lose him to romantic awkwardness.

Y’all Might’ve: ah. I see

Kleptomaniac: eh, I might as well. I’d like to discuss One for All with All Might a little more

Gotta blast: you could just ask me

Kleptomaniac: yes, but I’m interested in the long-term impacts of the quirk, and All Might’s the oldest living holder of it

Y’all Might’ve: whose fault is that?

Kleptomaniac:

Y’all Might’ve:

Y’all Might’ve: I’m sorry

Kleptomaniac: !!!

Y’all Might’ve: That was needlessly rude of me. It was uncalled for and petty, and I’m sorry

Y’all Might’ve: Don’t get used to this though

Kleptomaniac: I won’t.

Kleptomaniac: still, apology accepted

Gotta blast: see?! You’re perfect for each other!!

Bad touch man: do it do it do it do it do it do it

Kleptomaniac: where did you come from?!

Bad touch man: I’ve always been here

Bad touch man: watching

Dork shadow: a fellow lurker in the night… our ranks grow…

Kleptomaniac: that’s ominous

Kleptomaniac: fine. I’ll do this if All Might wants to

Kleptomaniac:

Kleptomaniac: @Y’all Might’ve

Y’all Might’ve: oh!

Y’all Might’ve: sorry. Got a little distracted

Kleptomaniac: how did you become a pro

Voice kink: I ask myself that everyday

Y’all Might’ve: HIZASHI

Voice kink: :P

Y’all Might’ve: but yes, I would like to try. We will go out, say, does the Wednesday after this one work?

Kleptomaniac: sure

Gotta blast: get some

----The Wednesday of Inko’s dinner with Yagi-----

Y’all Might’ve: Young Midoriya your mother is horrifying.

Gotta blast: what happened?

Y’all Might’ve: She basically sat me down and said, and I quote: “Toshinori, you will learn to work with my husband and help Izuku manage his quirk, or it won’t be Hisashi you have to worry about.”

Y’all Might’ve: and then she made a grabbing motion with her hands

Y’all Might’ve: I didn't sleep last night out of fear

Gotta blast: ah, so that’s why Mom came home in such a good mood.

Gotta blast: she usually only comes home like that after scaring an opponent so shitless that they settle for everything she wants in court.

The last mother: I do have my talents.

Kleptomaniac: I’m in love

Gotta blast: now then, the important part: did the media get to see you.

The last mother: oh yes they did!

Bondage fetish: Yagi.

Y’all Might’ve:

Y’all Might’ve: yes dear?

Bondage fetish: wanna tell me why a photo of Midoriya’s mother kissing you on the lips is all over the news right now?

Y’all Might’ve:

THe last mother: that was my fault, Aizawa-san

The last mother: I saw the crowds, and it just popped into my head and seemed like a good idea.

Bondage fetish:

Bondage fetish: fair enough

Gotta blast: good good, mission accomplished.

Gotta blast: now

Gotta blast has changed their name to “All for son!”

All for son has changed “Kleptomaniac’s” name to “Dad for one!”

All for son has changed “Bad touch man’s” name to “Bro for one!”

All for son has changed “The last mother’s” name to “Mom for one!”

All for son has changed “MISTifying’s name to “Uncle for one!”

All for son: perfect

All for son:

All for son: alright it’s been 72 hours since I last slept so I’m gonna crash

All for son: Fumichan where are you

Dork shadow: my room

Dork shadow:

Dork shadow: WAIT IZUKSLJFSEKLFYSEL

Y’all Might’ve: and there they go

Dad for one: they’re so in love

Mom for one: at least Izuku didn’t inherit his father’s tendency to trip over his own feet and fall flat on his face while confessing

Dad for one: INKO

Bro for one: he’s blushing. Continue

Dad for one: you all suck

Chapter Text

All for son: so dad

All for son: how was the date with All Might?

Y’all Might’ve: oh it was wonderful. Hisashi is remarkably funny when you get a few drinks in him

Mom for one: …

Mom for one: ...how many drinks did you give him?

Y’all Might’ve: ...5

Mom for one: goddammit Yagi.

Mom for one: Hisashi’s a lightweight. He can’t take more than a single glass of beer

Bro for one: is that why pops is currently passed out on the couch drunkenly singing “99 bottles of Beer on the Wall?”

Y’all Might’ve:

Uncle for one: sigh

Mom for one: fucking hell

Uncle for one: I’ll get the sick bucket for when he wakes up

Mom for one: just teleport him into the forest

Mom for one: you’d need more than one bucket

Y’all Might’ve:

Y’all Might’ve: should I come over?

Mom for one: no

Mom for one: you should probably spend time with Aizawa and Yamada

Bondage fetish: Toshiiii

Y’all Might’ve: Yess, love?

Bondage fetish: come back to bed. I’m cold

Y’all Might’ve: I am ON MY WAY

All for son: and he’s gone

Bakagan: I’m not really surprised to learn that Uncle Sashi’s bad at drinking

Phyllius the Swift: that was an experience

Wheeyyy: @Bro for one Get me a video of him singing?

Bro for one: on it

Sunshine^2: (⁎⚈᷀᷁▿⚈᷀᷁⁎) /(@ﾟﾍﾟ@)

Best cook: Oh! You need help with the TV?

Sunshine^2: (^～^;)ゞ

Best cook: On my way Koji-kun!

Sunshine^2: (●♡∀♡)

Sunshine: precious

Dork shadow: too bright

Floof: any news on the wedding @G U N @Ghostbuster?

G U N: We have a date!

Ghostbuster: It’ll be a month from now, and you’re all invited!

Bakagan: fucking sweet!

Ice ice baby: didn’t know you liked weddings, Kats

Bakagan: I don’t

Bakagan: I just want to make the decorations

G U N: uhh, okay then. Never met someone so enthusiastic about decoratin, but you do you

Bakagan: fuck yeah

Gone with the wind: wooo!

All for son: who else is coming?

G U N: the staff at UA, your family Midoriya, and a couple other pros: specifically Gang Orca, Mirko, and Best Jeanist

Ghostbuster: the media has no idea what’s going on. They don’t even know we’re dating

ET call the doctor: nice

Bondage fetish: problem children

Bondage fetish: I want you all on your best behavior during this wedding

Bondage fetish: any sort of funny business and I’ll expel you

Coffat: sure dad

Gotta blast: sure dad

Dork shadow: SURE DAD

Bondage fetish:

Bondage fetish: that’s right

Bondage fetish: the three of you are now also my children

Bondage fetish: kill me

---

Two loud blonds and their exasperated handler

Eye: Toshinori

Heart: yeah?

Eye: we need to talk about the Midoriyas

Heart:

Heart: we do. I meant to talk to you both in person, but I got distracted

Heart: I am sorry

Eye: apology accepted.

Eye: back to the point

Eye: are you or are you not in love with Hisashi and Inko Midoriya?

Mouth:

Heart:

Heart: yes

Heart: I didn’t go on these dinners expecting to fall for them. It just happened accidentally

Eye: I know, and I get it

Heart: So… what now?

Mouth: bring them in here

Mouth: I don’t know about Shouta, but I like Hisashi. He’s remarkably suave

Eye: of course that’d be a point of interest for you you oversized parrot

Mouth: HEY!

Mouth: I am a Cockatoo at least!

Eye: fine, you oversized cockatoo

Mouth: THANK you!

Heart: so… do I add them?

Eye: yea

Mouth: yea

Heart: will do

Heart added Hisashi Midoriya and Inko Midoriya to the chat!

Hisashi: what is this

Eye: we need to talk

Eye: toshinori, tell them

Heart:

Heart: I’ve… fallen for the both of you

Inko: oh?

Hisashi: oh my.

Hisashi: why?

Mouth: that’s a mood if I ever heard one

Eye: HISASHI

Heart: I’m honestly not sure. Inko, you’re so… I don’t even know how to describe it

Heart: you’re so incredibly sweet and terrifying and calm. You always have an idea to deal with everything, and you’re just…

Inko: Toshinori… that’s very sweet of you

Heart: and Hisashi

Heart: I didn’t think I’d ever really like you, much less love you, but… you’re so much like Shouta it’s shocking. You have this sort of energy about you that I can’t unsee.

Heart: I don’t really know what it is, but, the more time I spend with the two of you, the more time I want to spend with you.

Hisashi: …

Hisashi: that’s… I… thank you

Inko: do we tell them?

Hisashi: I think so, yes

Inko: the feelings are reciprocated

Heart: !!!

Hisashi: Inko came back from your date gushing about how sweet you were, and how chivalrous.

Inko: I keep comparing your performance at dinner to Hisashi’s and he still won’t take the hint

Hisashi: 0_0

Inko: but he is correct. He also did the exact same thing when the alcohol went out of his system.

Hisashi: furthermore, for Shouta and Hizashi: I’d like to know the two of you better, if you want

Inko: ^^^

Eye:

Mouth:

Eye: I don’t see why not. Let’s give this a shot

Mouth: ^^^ I’d like to try as well

Heart :D

Eye: too bright

Hisashi: so bright

Inko: right! So! Shouta (Can I call you Shouta?), Hizashi (Can I call you Hizashi), and Toshinori, come over to our home and we’ll discuss the intricacies of this relationship. No excuses

Eye: omw (yes you can)

Mouth: On our way! (of course!)

Hisashi: fantastic! See you soon!

---

It’s not easy being green

Greeny: so mom

Greeny: wanna tell me why All Might, Aizawa-sensei, and Mic-sensei are at home?

Mother: oh!

Mother: the five of us are together now!

Bad touch man: !!!

MISTifying: congratulations!

Mother: thank you Kurogiri

Greeny: slkvlkSDKLHLVLFUYVFLUSYVCKSGFVSlu

Mother: Izuku?

Greeny: this is Uraraka. Izuku screamed and through his phone at me

Greeny: he is now running outside screaming: “ALL MY DREAMS HAVE COME TRUE”

Greeny: what’s happening

Bad touch man: lmao Izuku’s freaking out because All Might’s gonna be his dad

Greeny:

Greeny: I’m telling Shoto

Greeny: He’s been trying to prove that Deku’s the secret love child of All Might

Bad touch man:

Bad touch man: y’know, I can kinda see that

Greeny: I KNOW RIGHT

Greeny: oop, he’s coming back. Gotta go!

Greeny: congratulations mom!!

Mother: thank you Izuku!

Bad touch man: All Might better treat you right

Mother: I’m sure he will Tenko

Awful one: Inko…

Awful one: come back to bed… Toshinori’s getting clingy…

Mother: !!!

Mother: coming!

Bad touch man: Use-

Greeny: Tenko if you finish that sentence I’m going to kill you

Bad touch man: shutting up now

MISTifying: I don’t know why I expected anything else

---

The hoedorokis

Magician’s red: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH

Pet shop: Shoto?!

Aqua Necklace: Shoto what happened?!

The great goddess: shoto is everything alright?!

Magician’s red: EVERYTHING’S GREAT!!

Green day: stop

Green day: deep breath

Green day: calm

Green day: start again

Magician’s red: okay okay

Magician’s red: you know my theory that Midoriya and All Might are related?

Magician’s red: WELL, his mom, his dad, and All Might are now together, along with Aizawa-sensei and Mic-sensei!!!

Aqua necklace:

Aqua Necklace: that’s it?

Green day: not very new

Magician’s red: WHAT DO YOU MEAN?!

Aqua necklace: My boyfriend is Tenko. He told me immediately

Green day: Hisashi’s like the dad I never had. Of course he’d tell me

Magician’s red: you all suck

The great goddess: anyway, give them my love and congratulations!!

Magician’s red: will do

---

Private chat between Hisashi Midoriya and Unknown Number!

Unknown: Sensei…

Hisashi: who is this?

Unknown: why did you leave us Sensei?

Hisashi: who are you

Unknown: you left me behind, to go spend time with your family?

Unknown: I still have your creations

Hisashi: what are you on about?

Unknown: come back to me Sensei

Unknown: it would be a shame if your family was taken from you again, wouldn’t it

Hisashi: stay the fuck away from my family.

Unknown: see you in a month…

Hisashi: I’m calling the cops

All messages have been deleted!

Chapter Text

So, I'm really excited to write the next few chapters. I have a lot planned for them, and I hope you all will enjoy.

HOWEVER.

The coming content contains material that could be triggering for some people. Certain highlights include: character injury, character death, panic attacks, blood, homophobia, and intense gore. I'll add chapter specific warnings, but I wanted to let you know that the mood is gonna shift really soon, and give warning in case you want to skip the chapters with warnings. I'll add summaries of the triggering chapters once I finish the current arc.

This may be unnecessary, but I wanted to put that on the record and give everyone a heads up before I write the next parts.

Also, thank you so much to everyone who left kudos and comment on my fic. I love each and every one of you, even if I don't reply to your comments. Seeing you all enjoy my stuff enough to interact with it just makes me really happy, and I love you all.

Stay safe, and I hope your day/night/afternoon is amazing.

Chapter Text

Hisashi Midoriya created a new chat!

Hisashi Midoriya added Momo Yaoyorozu Tenya Iida, and 33 others to the chat!

Hisashi Midoriya changed the name of the chat to “Emergency Contacts!”

Hisashi Midoriya: Due to recent events, I have felt that this chat is necessary for us, given that this class, and especially my son, is a bunch of trouble magnets

Izuku Midoriya: RUDE!!

Hisashi Midoriya: I’m not wrong.

Hisashi Midoriya: So I have decided to make this chat separate from our other chat so that we can all get in contact easily.

Denki Kaminari: Understandable.

Denki Kaminari: I mean, it would kill the mood to get danger notifications from a guy named “Bondage Fetish”

Denki Kaminari: That being said

Denki Kaminari has changed their name to “Jammingway!”

Jammingway: If everyone could change their names to a code one, that’d be great.

Hisashi Midoriya: An excellent idea

Hisashi Midoriya has changed their name to “All for One!”

Izuku Midoriya has changed their name to “Deku!”

Fumikage Tokoyami has changed their name to “Tsukuyomi!”

Toya Todoroki has changed their name to “Dabi!”

Sako Atsuhiro has changed their name to “Mr. Compress!”

Shota Aizawa has changed their name to “Eraserhead!”

---I’m too lazy to put everyone in, but everyone changed their names---

Creati: now that everyone’s name is changed

Creati: what happened to necessitate this chat?

All for One: Someone who knows who I was reached out to me

All for One: They threatened my family, and they implied that they still have access to the Nomu

All Might: can you track them?

All for One: No. They managed to lock down the entire network

Deku: give me just half a sec

Izuku Midoriya added Hatsume Mei to the chat!

Izuku Midoriya changed Hatsume Mei’s name to “Zoom!”

Deku: @Zoom

Zoom: HELLO Mr. Ten Million!! Whaddya want?! Wanna test out my supper cool babies?!!!

Deku: not today Hatsume. I have a question for you, actually

Zoom: Okay! Shoot!

Deku: If someone locks down a text message network, can you open it up again?

Zoom: can I EVER!! That’s EASY

Deku: cool. I’m sending someone with that problem over. Work your magic

Zoom: ohboyohboyohboyohboyohboyohboyohboyohboyohboy

All for One: ...well then. I shall be over shortly

Eraserhead: why didn’t you say anything earlier, Hisashi?

All for One: I just got the texts. I already sent all the info over to Tsukauchi for analysis, but I thought that having everyone here would help.

All Might: good decision

Shigaraki: would it make sense to move us to UA for protection, at least for a little while?

Nezu: an excellent idea young Shimura!! I’ll ask Cementoss to work on housing.

Green Dragon: If you could make enough space for all eight of us, plus the League, that would be excellent

Nezu: On it!!

Spinner: you… want space for us to come over?

Green Dragon: Of course! You’re family now too, right?

Green Dragon: Besides, I enjoy the company!

Spinner: …

Toga: Look at what you did Mamadoriya! He’s sobbing!

Green Dragon: Oh! My apologies. Did I overstep?

Spinner: No! I’m just… nobody has ever said they enjoyed my company…

All for One: Well, we do. You all are a joy to have around

Spinner: ...thanks, dad.

All for One: no problem.

Zoom: I’M BAAACK

All for One: That was literally a minute

Zoom: THAT’S HOW LONG IT TOOK TEN MILLION’S DAD

All for One: How'd you know I was Izuku's dad?

Zoom: I KNOW EVERYTHING! I MONITOR ALL THE CHATS ALONG WITH NEZU!!

All for One: I’m scared now

Eraserhead: be glad you aren’t PowerLoader. His weekends consist of him running as far away as he can from her.

Nezu: what did you find, young Hatsume?

Zoom: SO! Does the name ‘Ujiko’ ring a bell?

All for One:

All for One:

Spinner:

Dabi:

Toga:

Mr. Compress:

Shigaraki:

All for One: That.

All for One: B I T C H

Zoom: I’m gonna guess that’s a yes

Shigaraki: didn’t we kill him?

Spinner: Dabi! That was your job!!

Dabi: how the fuck is this my fault?! Kurogiri was going to send him into a volcano!!

Kurogiri: do not bring me into this

Toga: boys boys stop fighting!!

Toga: Besides, we all know that Shigaraki was supposed to decay him months ago!

Shigaraki: OH SHUT IT YOU BITCH

Toga: MAKE ME YOU CRUSTY FUCKER

Eraserhead: OH MY GOD STOP

Eraserhead:

Eraserhead: So. what do we do

All for One: nothing. Unless Hatsume can track his location?

Zoom: Nope!! The line went dead the instant I found his name!!

All for One: then there’s absolutely nothing we can do about him. All we can do is wait for him to attack

Snipe: did he say anything about when he would attack?

All for One: he did. He said that he'd see us in a month.

Ectoplasm: that’s when the wedding is.

All Might: He’s going to attack then. We should be ready for it.

Snipe: yeah. Everyone should come in their hero costumes underneath their wedding gear.

Creati: will do!

Can’t stop twinkling: We should not let the darkness of that man quench our light!

Tentacole: what he said

Anima: I can try to send out some birds as scouts if you want. Patrol the city and try to find him.

All for One: that would be excellent. DM me and I’ll send you visuals of who to look for.

Anima: on it

All Might: in the meantime, everyone should be careful when leaving UA grounds. Do not let your guards down under any circumstances.

Deku:

Deku: Ujiko… that name sounds familiar…

Deku: !!!

Deku: Dad? Did you tell Ujiko about me…?

All for One: ...no… he just knows about Inko and Tenko, and that’s only because he saw pictures of Inko.

Deku: … send us the visuals of him too.

All for One: hmm?

Deku: do it… please

All for One: picture.ujiko.jpg.

Deku: …

Deku: son of a bitch

Deku: that’s the guy I went to for my quirk diagnosis.

All for One: WHAT

Green Dragon: he’s right. That’s the man who proclaimed Izuku quirkless

Shigaraki:

Dabi: what the fuck was he doing as a doctor in Musutafu when Izuku was four?

Spinner: was he not working for you dad?

All for One: no. No he was with me when Izuku was four what the fuck

Dynamight: that just seems really fucked

Imperium: huh…

Ingenium: All the more reason to move the family to UA ASAP.

Sugarman: yeah. He probably knows where you live, so you shouldn’t go back there anytime soon

Nezu: Unfortunately, Cementoss is going to be busy for the next couple of days, so you’ll have to find somewhere else to stay for the time being.

Tsukuyomi: We have space at my house for all of you (my family’s loaded, don’t ask). If you want, you can stay with us until the housing is ready

Green Dragon: thank you for the offer Fumikage!! We’d be happy to stay with you, as long as it’s not a bother with your family?

Tsukuyomi: Dark Shadow already got confirmation from them during this conversation. They said it’s perfectly fine with them.

All for One: Excellent!

Kurogiri: Would you be so kind as to share the address with me?

Tsukuyomi: of course. I’ll DM you

Shigaraki: dad?

All for One: Yes Tenko?

Shigaraki: I’m worried about Magne and Twice. Could you warn them and tell them what’s going on?

All for One: of course.

---

Private Message between All for One and Magne!

All for One: Ujiko is going after all of us. If you feel unsafe, you can come find us at location shared!

All for One: …

All for One: Magne…?

---

Private Message between All for One and Twice!

All for One: Ujiko is going after all of us. If you feel unsafe, you can come find us at location shared!

All for One: Also, could you get in contact with Magne? She's not responding to my messages.

All for One: …

All for One: Twice…?

---

Emergency Contacts

All for One: ...Neither of them are responding.

Shigaraki:

Dabi:

Spinner: Jin…

Toga: Big sis… Big sis Magne…

All Might:

Deku: ...It’s safe to say that we can expect Nomu with their abilities…

Shigaraki: ...If any of those Nomu show up, leave them to us…

Shigaraki: We’ll avenge our friends…

Toga: Yeah… That bastard will pay for what he did to them

Green Dragon: understood. You are all welcome over if you want company…

Dabi: ...I think I’ll take you up on that.

Shigaraki: ...shoto?

Frostblaze: Yes?

Shigaraki: Is Natsuo at the housing with you?

Frostblaze: yeah

Shigaraki: can I come over? I… I want to be with him…

Frostblaze: yeah. I’ll let him know you’re coming and what happened?

Shigaraki: sure.

Green Dragon: stay safe Tenko. Let me know when you get there?

Shigaraki: Will do Mom.

Dabi: ...can we talk about the wedding prep right now? I… I don’t want to talk about this right now…

Creati: sure.

Alien Queen: I have a great idea for outfits!

Alien Queen: Momo, if I asked you to make a bunch of Stetsons and red scarfs for all of us here, would that be possible?

Creati: of course! It wouldn’t even be that taxing

Alien Queen: Alright! Before the wedding, I want every single person to come to the common room and get fitted for a Stetson and scarf.

Alien Queen: Momo, Tsu, Uraraka, Jirou, Hagakure, and Toga, I also want you to come to my room to work on a surprise.

Toga: even me?

Froppy: duh, kero.

Uravity: yeah! We’re not gonna leave you out!

Toga… thank you!

Snipe: wha are you gonna do?

Earjack: nothing you need to worry about.

Ectoplasm: fair enough

Alien Queen: Mic sensei, don’t you dare style your hair like you normally do for this wedding. I will cut it off if you do.

Present Mic: I’m scared now

Alien Queen: you’re going to wear the fucking Stetson and fucking like it.

Present Mic: f e a r

Eraserhead: let’s not use this chat until we need to. We’ll move this discussion to the main chat.

Alien Queen: Got it!!

Chapter Text

All for son: let’s go let’s go let’s go let’s go

Floof: WHOOOOOOO

Best cook: IT IS TIME

ET call the doctor: HERE WE GO

Sunshine^2: (　＾∇＾) (＾▽＾) (*^▽^*)

He zoom: Fellow students! All of you should meet in the common room by 10:30 so that I can make sure everyone is wearing the correct outfit! We do not want to mess this up!

Bondage fetish: don’t mess this up or I’ll kill you

Bakagan: bold of you to assume I fear death

Bondage fetish: strike one

Bakagan: getting ready now

Bondage fetish: that’s what I thought

Bondage fetish: Get off your phones you hellspawn. See you in an hour for the checkup

---

Sunshine: KAMINARI

Wheeyyy: I’M GETTING READY

Phyllius the swift: YOU HAVE HAD A WHOLE HOUR

Wheeyyy: I KNOW MY OUTFIT IS COMPLICATED

Bakagan: you have five minutes dunce face

Dupli-dicks: why did Kaminari just scream and start sprinting

Wheeyyy: I’M HERE

Tangled buds: ...wow that actually looks good

All for son: @Bro for all is everyone ready to go on your end

Bro for all: yep. We’ll see you at the venue

All for son: got it

G U N: We’ll see you all at the venue! Take care!

---

Kleptomaniac: image.lookatthechildren.jpg

[Image description: the picture shows all the male students of class 1-A, as well as all the male members of the league, all wearing Stetsons and tuxedos. They all also have a red scarf in the same style as Snipe]

Kleptomaniac: image.thechildren.jpg

[Image description: the picture shows all the female students of class 1-A, as well as Toga and Midnight, all also wearing Stetsons and red scarves. However, they’re all wearing long and frilly dresses, all in the style of old Southern belles. They’re all in a collective pose]

Kleptomaniac: image.lookatthisman.jpg

[Image description: The image shows Snipe, unmasked and kneeling on the ground, sobbing at the collective display. Ecto is hugging him, also crying]

G U N: Thank you. Thank you all so much. You’re all incredible.

---

Snipe stood in front of Fugori, his soon to be husband. Midnight was reciting the vows, and the seats were packed with class 1-A and their teachers and friends. They were all wearing Stetsons, and he couldn’t stop crying at the collective sea of brown. Midnight was talking, but he couldn’t even hear her. He was still fixated on Fugori’s face, mouth curling into a smile as he shook the hand that was holding his own.

“Jesse.” He shook a little harder. “Jesse.” Snipe shook his head and looked at Fugori. “Huh?”

Midnight laughed, and Fugori smirked a little. “The vows are done. Time for the big event.” Snipe smiled, and leaned down to press a chaste kiss onto Fugori’s mouth. His new husband -husband!- chuckled and leaned up to nuzzle into him a little more, making the kiss much more intimate than it had any right to be.

There was applause, and Snipe felt a warm glow blanket his heart. He looked at Midnight, who gave him a thumbs up, at Fugori who smiled, at the grenade that was at his feet- wait what?

The grenade, which he had only just noticed, sparked, and he only had enough time to instinctively tackle Fugori to the ground before his ears were assaulted with a ringing blast, and his vision went dark.

---

Emergency Contacts

Cellophane: why

Cellophane: W H Y

Creati: that was a big blast, is everyone ok?

Sugarman: I’m with Anima, Tentacole, and Tsukuyomi at the front. People are trapped beneath beams, but that’s about it. We’re all good.

Uravity: I’m with Froppy and Ingenium near the front left. Ingenium’s got dust in his eyes

Shigaraki: I managed to decay the stuff above me, Dabi, Toga, and Spinner. Compress marbled the rubble above him and Kurogiri.

All for One: Fuck he’s here. Any sign of the teachers?

Deku: Eraserhead and Mic are fighting the Nomu(?) tht burst through the roof, but they’ll be overwhelmed pretty soon.

Deku: Blood King is out cold, and I can’t find All Might

Imperium: I’m at the front: Snipe and Ecto are unconscious, but I can’t see any major wounds. Midnight… oh fuck

Alien Queen: What happened?!

Imperium: Midnight’s entire front is shredded from that blast… her face is… oh my god

All for One: Alright. We’re gonna split up.

All for One: Deku, Dynamight, Frostblaze, and Shigaraki, deal with the Nomu that are coming from the back.

All for One: Dabi, Toga, Spinner, Jammingway, Alien Queen, deal with the ones coming from the ceiling.

All for One: Tentacole, Sugarman, Compress, and Kurogiri, you’re on rescue duty. I want you focusing on the people trapped or who will be trapped.

All for One: Froppy, Uravity, I want you helping people out of the building

All for One: Tsukuyomi, Creati, Imperium, Red Riot, Cellophane, Can’t Stop Twinkling, Invisibile Girl, I want you on perimeter. DO NOT LET ANYTHING WITHIN A 5 MILE RADIUS.

All for One: Ingenium, Earjack, and Anima, run to the police station, send birds, telegraph distress calls. We need the backup.

All for One: Leave Ujiko to me.

Shigaraki: Where’s Natsuo?!

Dabi: he’s with me. He’s crushed, but still lucid.

Shigaraki: dad…

All for One: go. Get him out and then come back.

Shigaraki: will do.

All for One: Go go go!!

---

All for One stood in front of the doctor, the man who had saved his life. Distantly, he heard the sounds of battle, of Izuku and Katsuki decimating a duplicating Nomu (his fist clenched as he thought of Twice), of people screaming and falling, but it all faded away as he stared into the smug face of Ujiko. He took a breath, trying to compose himself.

“I thought I told you to destroy the Nomu.” Ujiko nodded. “You did Sensei, but you made the wrong choice. With your family, we could make a brand new world, and rule it together! You could have anything you wanted!.”

All for One grimaced. “I thought it wasn’t your place to question me.” Ujiko shook his head. “Bringing you back from the brink of death enables me to make my own choices with the materials you left me. And besides, I was trying to help you.”

All for One waved a hand. “That reminds me, how did you know about my son? About Izuku? I know I didn’t tell you.” The man laughed. All for One was starting to get sick of it. “I found him from a hero fight! I just knew I had to examine him for myself, to see what quirk he had. Imagine my surprise!” He leaned in, conspiratorially. “What if… I told you that Izuku was not quirkless after all?”

All for One reeled back. “My son was born quirkless. Don’t lie.” Ujiko smiled again. “Oh no, master. I am not lying to you. He has a variation of your own quirk! The power to permanently copy quirks and make them more powerful, alongside your power to steal quirks, is a formidable strength! I simply told him he was quirkless to help us later. You see, nobody cares if a quirkless person went missing, so to hear of another one missing off the street? Why, we’d have a free Nomu body right there-” All for One’s fist drove into his face, shoving him back. The Nomu around him rushed for the man, but All for One flicked a finger, and an electrical shock melted all their brains at once. Their bodies crumpled to the floor, but he didn’t even blink, rushing the falling doctor and slamming his head into the floor.

“DO NOT.” Slam. “EVEN THINK.” Slam. “OF USING MY SON.” Slam. The doctor’s face was obscured by a wall of blood, and All for One could feel the cracked skull beneath his fingers, but he kept going. “LIKE THAT.” Slam. Ujiko’s head burst. “HE IS NOT YOURS.” He was yelling now, screaming, raw, as he drove his fist through Ujiko’s head and out the other end. “TO PLAY WITH.” He felt all his quirks activating at once, ripping the man’s body apart and burning every piece individually, melting, sizzling, and boiling his blood until the very presence of it caused his bones to lose their structure. The Nomu changed course, running from the children to kill him, but the raw power emanating from his bones burst their bodies apart. He was seeing red. Was it anger, or was the blood of the man who he was killing getting in his eyes? He didn’t even know anymore. He kept slamming, kept pushing the man into the dirt.

He stepped back, his arms running with blood that wasn’t his. The man before him was long dead, his brain on complete display. His arm lengthened, sharpening into a blade, and he rushed the mass of flesh, intending to drive his arm through the brain, when he heard a cry.

“DAD!”

His head snapped back, eyes wide and unseeing. He heard it again.

“DAD STOP”

Izuku?

Hisashi lowered his arm slowly, wiping away the blood to see his son, his child, reaching out for him, eyes wide with concern. He looked back to see the doctor clearly for the first time.

There was nothing left. What was once a portly man with an immortality quirk was now just melted bones and shattered viscera. He closed his eyes, feeling his power recede. He felt the ground meet his knees, but he couldn’t bring himself to care.

His last thought was Yoshito… I…, before darkness met him

---

Izuku saw his father collapse, and he ran forward without thinking, Tenko running right next to him. He caught his father just before he hit the ground, feeling the reassuring breathing that signified life. He looked back at the scene of his father’s anger, seeing only a mass of black blood.

Tenko sighed. “He… He’s dead.” Izuku nodded numbly, not able to do much else. He… he wasn’t quirkless? He’d been lied to all his life…

He stood up, his father nestled in his arms, ready to take him out and put him in a safe place, when he felt it. A… presence, for lack of a better term. He looked back at the body, feeling an unmistakable sense of dread. Beside him, he felt Tenko stiffen, undoubtedly feeling it too.

He stepped away one more time, and the world exploded.

Blackness obscured his vision, and a deafening boom shattered his eardrums. When the smoke cleared, he could see it. A shifting mass of darkness that rose from the body on the ground, shifting and changing shape with every movement. It stepped closer to him, but he couldn’t even move anything other than his eyes, looking up, and up, and up at the thing that towered over them both. It raised an arm, now sharp, and swung.

He fell backward, almost as if in slow motion. In front of him, he saw Shoto, arms outstretched, blood droplets flaking from his back. Time started to move again, and Shoto flung his arms out screaming, “Give him to me! I’ll get him out of here!” His arms moved, slowly, as if in a fog, which cleared up the instant his father was in Shoto’s hands and moving away.

He felt the hand of his old friend, grounding him. He looked over at Kacchan, who nodded grimly, before they both turned to face the smiling monster. He raised his fists, and he thought, just for a second, that he could see tendrils shooting out of his fingers, as his feet left the earth in preparation for the battle.

Chapter Text

The creature just… stood there, unmoving. Steam seemed to pour off of its flesh in waves, and it buffered Izuku in spades, almost pushing him back with the force. The beast blinked, before, in an instant, it was right before him, clawed arm poised to strike.

Izuku jerked backwards, but Tenko grabbed his neck and pulled him further out of range of the attack, which tore off the wall behind them. Kacchan leapt over him, swinging his open palm directly into the maw of the creature, which was shot backwards with a burst of light, sound, and smoke. The creature quickly recovered, and shot out an arm at Izuku and Tenko, fingers sharpening into blades. Izuku, with barely a thought, shot upwards into the air, leaving Tenko to decay the fingers coming at him.

How am I floating? What happened? Izuku thought, as he inadvertently grabbed a beam with another black tendril that seemed to come from nowhere. The creature snapped its arms back, before launching itself into the sky, leaving a cracked pavement behind it. It shot above Izuku, and it seemed to blot out the sun. Izuku raised his arms, and, just for a second, it seemed as if seven other arms followed him.

Don’t worry about the new quirks. We’ll handle using them, kiddo. seven voices seemed to resonate with that thought in his head, and he felt himself involuntarily relaxing as his left arm seemed to trail the black tendrils and his right trailed bright fire. The creature swung, just as Izuku’s arms did the same, but, just before contact, a giant cannon ball plowed into the midsection of the beast, stopping it in its tracks.

It looked around, visibly confused, before two large figures seemed to fall from the sun itself, slamming into the monster and sending it hurtling down to Earth. Izuku felt the force holding him up fade, and he fell down as well, landing with much more grace than the creature. He looked up and around, looking for who stopped the creature, and found Yaoyorozu waving at him, along with the rest of Class 1-A and the League, standing next to a giant cannon. He smiled, and waved back at them.

Sourphe detached from the group, sprinting straight for the beast, who stood and roared, shaking the ground. Unbidden, the tendrils shot forward from Izuku’s fingers and wrapped around the beast, pinning it to the ground as Sourphe lifted his palm, a much larger hand appearing behind him, and thrust it forward. Instantly, the beast was engulfed in red light, its screams seeming to shatter the remaining glass.

The smoke took a while to clear, but eventually, it did clear, revealing only a patch of blackened tar where the beast used to be. The tendrils returned to Izuku’s hand, and he took a single step before pitching forward. Distantly, he heard someone cry out to him, and he felt familiar hands wrap around him, but he was too far gone to care.

---

Emergency Contacts

All might: Is everyone okay?

Tsukuyomi: Izuku is asleep in the hospital. Hitoshi and I are with him right now

Green Dragon: Hisashi is also still passed out. Shouta is barely conscious, and Hizashi… he’s not very okay right now.

Sugarman: that reminds me… how’s… how’s Midnight?

All might: Midnight was killed by that grenade blast. It… it tore through her skin and she didn’t stand a chance

Imperium: … oh my god

Green dragon: whatever happened, none of you are at fault. We did everything we could

Jamingway: but we didn’t! If we had, Midnight sensei would still be alive!

Green dragon: If we hadn’t prepared as much as we did, she wouldn’t have been the only casualty. We got really lucky.

Present Mic: Inko’s right little listeners. Please don’t beat yourselves up over this… you all did excellently.

Present Mic: Iida, Jiro, Kouda, you all did brilliantly going to get help. You’re the reason that all of our injuries aren’t more severe. Thank you.

Anima: ...thank you

Ingenium: I… I did everything I could do

Green dragon: and that’s what matters Tenya.

Dabi: Tenko’s alright. He’s staying with Natsu in his room. They’re currently being very gay and I can’t even be mad

Mr. Compress: Spinner, Toga, and I are all alright. Minor injuries

Toga: I killed the Nomu that had Big Sis Magne’s quirk… she’s free now..

Green dragon: Toga, Shuichi, Sako, if you come to Hisashi’s room, I can hug you. If you want.

Spinner: That’d be great. Thank you

Mr. Compress: I don’t think I can leave Kuro’s side. I will be taking you up on that hug later ma’am.

Toga: I’m on my way, mom

---

Hisashi opened his eyes. He saw only darkness, with a large white floor and thick smoke. Strangely, he was already standing. He looked around, and saw very little. He turned back around, and stared straight into the shocked eyes of his younger brother.

Yoshito looked at him and, now that he looked, he could see the six other forms of the past One for All users, as well as the less defined form of his son. All except for Izuku were staring at him with various levels of shock or disgust.

Hisashi looked back at Yoshito. “Yoshito, I-” he was cut off when his younger brother tackled him into a hug, his face buried into Hisashi’s chest as he sobbed out a choked “thank god you’re going to live…” Hisashi awkwardly raised his hand and patted Yoshito on the back, which only served to make him cry harder.

It took a second, but Yoshito detached himself from his older brother, smiling up at him. “For what it’s worth…” He looked at the seventh person, Nana if he remembered correctly, who smiled and gave him a thumb’s up. He looked back at Hisashi. “I forgive you,” he said, and Hisashi collapsed to his knees, crying for the first time in months.

He felt Yoshito hug him from up top, and he felt all the One for All users place arms around them, ending with Izuku draping himself across his back.

The eight of them stayed like that for a time immemorial.

---

“Uno!”

“Ah dammit!” Number 5, Daigoro, swore as he drew yet another card, glaring daggers at Nana, who was flipping him off from where she had floated in her excitement. He glanced pleadingly at Hisashi, who shrugged and, ever so slowly, placed down a reverse card in the same suit, which Daigoro didn’t have.

“GODDAMMIT,” Daigoro screeched over Nana’s cackling.

---

“There is only one Lord of the Ring, only one who can bend it to his will. And he does not- Why are you laughing Yoshito?”

That was Hisashi, staring at his younger brother, who was doubled over laughing at his, frankly elegant, portrayal of Gandalf.

“Sorry!” Yoshito gasped for air. “It’s just that- you- you’re basically describing yourself!” He cackled harder. “You’re mocking yourself!” He kept laughing, as a confused Hisashi glanced at an equally bemused Nana. They shrugged their shoulders in unison.

---

Hisashi could feel himself fading, but Yoshito grabbed his arm and pulled out his phone, fiddling with it before giving it back. “There! You’ve been added to the One for All group chat! Beware of Daigoro: he likes to meme.”

Hisashi could only form out a “what?!” before the light engulfed him again.

---

Big Bird and the Nest

Glowstick: I lived bitch

My shadow is alive: IZUIZU!! YOU’RE ALIVE!!!!!

Glowstick: hi dark shadow! I missed you too!

My shadow is alive: :D

Love at first fight: Izuku! How’re you feeling?!

Glowstick: like shit

My shadow is alive: truly, the purity of the light banishes the deepest darkness

My shadow is alive: It’s good to see you up, Izuku

Glowstick: I missed both of you too

Glowstick: unfortunately, I’m on bed rest for the rest of the day

My shadow is alive: is your family still coming to stay with us?

Glowstick: I think? I’d have to ask mom, but I think we’re still doing that

My shadow is alive: excellent. I will pamper you while you are with me.

Glowstick: fumichan?

My shadow is alive: you will never want for anything as long as you are in my care.

Love at first fight: mood

Glowstick: YOU GUYS!

Glowstick: what happened after I passed out?

My shadow is alive: Midnight… didn’t make it

Glowstick: what?!

Love at first fight: she was killed in that first explosion

Glowstick: …

My shadow is alive: it wasn’t your fault Izuku. You weren’t even near her when it happened

Love at first fight: besides, nobody else was killed. It was thanks to how prepared we were that we could reduce casualties.

Glowstick: ...okay

Glowstick: come to my hospital bed. Want cuddles.

Love at first fight: ON MY WAY!

My shadow is alive: ^^^

---

Class 1-GAY

Wheeyyy: so… how’s everyone holding up?

Wheeyyy: …

Wheeyyy: hello?

Wheeyyy:

Wheeyyy:

Wheeyyy:

Wheeyyy: guys?

Wheeyyy:

Wheeyyy: You know what?

Wheeyyy: that does it

Wheeyyy: @Rat god

Rat god: what is it Kaminari?

Wheeyyy: give me the addresses of everyone in this chat. I’m coming for them all.

Rat god: okay!

Wheeyyy: Right! I’m coming to get all y’all. You can’t just hide away like this.

Wheeyyy: We’re gonna have some class bonding time. This is absurd.

---

Tangled buds: Kaminari what the fuck?

Wheeyyy: I warned you

E.T call the doctor: I get that we need to see each other, but did you have to come to our houses?

Wheeyyy: YES

Wheeyyy: none of you were answering your phones

Bakagan: you have 5 seconds to explain yourself sparky

Wheeyyy: we’re gonna go to a park as a class and try to relax a little bit.

Wheeyyy: spending this time alone isn’t gonna help anyone and it’ll just make things worse

Rat god: personally, I think this is a wonderful idea!

Rat God: everyone except Hisashi and Yagi will be coming

Rat God: do you have a location in mind Kaminari?

Wheeyyy has shared their location

Wheeyyy: The rest of the class is here too. We’re just waiting on the teachers

Bondage fetish: on our way.

Chapter Text

Best cook: that was actually really nice Kaminari.

Dupli-dicks: yeah. It’s been a while since we’ve done anything like this

Tangled buds: I’m never going to say this again, but

Tangled buds: nice job Pikachu

Wheeyyy: !!!

Wheeyyy: :D

Wheeyyy: I cannot believe that Iida got a boyfriend before me

He zoom: :D

Phyllius the Swyft: he’s blushing. He’s so cute

Phyllius the Swyft: I love my speedy sonic boyfriend

Phyllius the Swyft: that reminds me

Phyllius the Swyft: Hey sensei?

Bondage fetish: yeah?

Phyllius the Swyft: I’m heading home with Tenya and he said that anyone who wants to come can

He zoom: that is correct! Anyone who wants to spend time with me and my brother is more than welcome to come over!

Ice ice baby: I’m taking that offer

Goddess: I’d like to as well!

He zoom: should I assume that everyone here is coming?

Dad for One: Inko and I won’t be. We’ll be enjoying our night without the children.

Bro for one: rude!

He zoom: Alright. Everyone except the teachers just nodded, so I’ll text Tensei and let him know

I’ll shank a bitch: does he know about Shimura and the others?

He zoom: …

He zoom: no

Bro for one: This’ll be fun

All for son: :o

Sunshine: alright, but did everyone see the way that Tokobro is curled up in Midobro’s lap? He’s so adorable

Tangled buds: nobody will ever take his emo self seriously after this

All for son: he just mumbled, “I’m goth” under his breath.

ET call the doctor: he’s an adorable little goth birb

All for son: he’s so cute I’m gonna cry

Coffat: Okay no but look

Coffat: slepbirb.jpg

Coffat: my datemates are so cute and soft

Wheeyyy: THAT IS SO CUTE WHAT?!

Tangled buds: alright

Tangled buds: that may be cute

Tangled buds: but have you SEEN my girlfriend?!

Tangled buds: classvicerep.jpg

Goddess: KYOKA!!

He zoom: she just screamed and threw herself at Jiro

Bakagan: not bad headphones

Tangled buds: I’ve been validated

Bakagan: but I’m gonna blow your pictures out of the fucking water

Bakagan: shittyhairlooksbaddass.jpg

Sunshine: AAAAAHHHHHHH!!

Sunshine: WHERE DID YOU GET THAT?!

Bakagan: that’s for me to know and you to find out shitty hair

Gone with the wind: YOU GOT NOTHING ON ME

Gone with the wind: prettyboy.jpg

Ice ice baby:

Ice ice baby: yo this is Natsuo, why did Shoto just burst into flames?

Ice ice baby:

Ice ice baby: ah. I see

Bro for one: WEll now that You’re here!

Bro for one: I shall throw my hat into the ring.

Bro for one: myhotdoctor.jpg

Bro for one: I love my hot medical genius boyfriend

Ice ice baby: akjlKCUBLCALFIUYSELIVUSAVBLWYASEV

Phyllius the swyft: he may be hot but is he HOT?

Phyllius the swyft: daddysonic.jpg

Phyllius the swyft: I win bitches

He zoom: …

Kero: Iida just fell to the ground and is now sobbing

Kero: oh well.

Kero: I’m gonna beat all of you

Kero: spacegirl.jpg

All for son: Uraraka is floating up to the sun in her embarrassment

Kero: I should probably get her down, kero

Kero: I just want to say, I regret nothing

Dad for one: I shall get two birds with one picture:

Dad for one: surprisinglyprettyforablond.jpg

Dad for one: BAM!

Y’all Might’ve:

Mom for one:

Bondage fetish: saved

Y’all Might’ve: you know, I’ve got something too!

Y’all Might’ve: surprisinglyprettyforabastard.jpg

Y’all Might’ve: Hisashi is very sweet

Dad for one:

Mom for one: He just went bright red

Bro for one: lmao

Best cook: Koji-kun, can I tell them?

Sunshine: tell us what?

Sunshine^2: (*≧▽≦)

Best cook: thanks!

Best cook: meandmydatemate.jpg

Best cook: Everyone look at my super awesome and cute datemate!

Sunshine: !!!

Sunshine: SO COOL!

Wheeyyy: CONGRATULATIONS!

Goddess: you too are so adorable together! If there’s anything you need, just let us know!

Sunshine^2: (*≧▽≦)

Best cook: (*≧▽≦)

He zoom: oop it’s getting late. We should all go!

Wheeyyy:

Tangled buds:

Goddess: Pardon my language, but

Goddess: Sero what the fuck have you done

Phylius the swyft: lmao!

All for son: alright, ignoring the existential crisis that is Iida using the word “oop”

All for son: yeah let’s go

All for son: BUT FIRST

All for son: hotinsomniac.jpg

Coffat:

Coffat: ahkVKVFKSYFsfskufyVKUYFVSWKUVY

Bondage fetish: Hitoshi’s just short-circuited. He’s now rocking back in forth muttering “how did you get that how did you get that how did you get that”

All for son: Shoto gave it to me lol

I’ll shank a bitch: Now that Tsu’s gotten me down…

I’ll shank a bitch: Let’s go take advantage of Iida’s rich-ass family!!

All for son: I don’t want to wake up Fumi-chan…

Coffat: just carry him. You have a strength quirk

All for son: but I’m lazy…

All for son:

All for son: @Dupli-dicks

Coffat: oh my god

Dupli-dicks: what?

All for son: carry my boyfriend for me to Iida’s?

Dupli-dicks:

Dupli-dicks: sure

All for son: Great! Thanks!

He zoom: Class 1-A and fellow vigilantes! Let us commence!

Tangled buds: and he’s back

---

Wheeyyy: Did you all see the look on Tensei’s face when he saw Shimura?

Tangled buds: it was great. He looked like he was having a heart attack!

Wheeyyy: Especially when he caught Shimura making out with the middle Todoroki

Ice ice baby: the shit eating grin on Natsu’s face is one I shall forever aspire to emulate

All for son: off the phones. We’re watching Mulan

Ice ice baby: the live version?

All for son:

I’ll shank a bitch:

Kero: get out

---

Bro for all: well that was fun.

Bro for all: I had no idea that Izuku was so intense during mario kart

All for son: FUCK YOU YOU HANDSY BASTARD

All for son: I HAD FIRST PLACE AND THEN YOU HAD TO COME IN AND RUIN IN

All for son: AAAAAAAAAGHGHGHG

Coffat: I put him to sleep

Coffat: he was gonna actually strangle you

I’ll shank a bitch: but yeah, Deku is surprisingly competitive during Mario kart.

Bro for all: I can see that

Dork shadow: Dark Shadow and I have him. He’s currently sleeping with us

Coffat: coolio

Dork shadow: oh, uh

Dork shadow: @bondage fetish @rat god @voice kink @G U N @Ghostbuster @Drugs I’m gonna be out of class tomorrow. I have a doctor’s appointment

Dork shadow:

Bondage fetish:

Voice kink:

Dork shadow: fuck

Dork shadow: I didn’t mean to. I- I promise. It was an accident

Voice kink: I know it was Tokoyami. You’re not at fault.

Bondage fetish: I spent today expecting her to jump at me and try flirting with me like she always would. It’s not unusual

Dork shadow:

Dork shadow: just… just pretend I didn’t tag her

Voice kink: Got it little listener!

Rat god: Ah yes, if I recall correctly you have a quirk reassessment appointment tomorrow? Do you need transportation?

Dork shadow: how did you know the cause of my appointment? And that my parents were on a work trip?

Rat god: ;)

Dork shadow: Never use those again

Rat god: ;)

Dad for one: I can take you Fumikage. If it helps, I can bring Izuku and Hitoshi, if he wants to come?

Coffat: I’d love to

Rat god: splendid! I shall arrange for the three of you kids to have the work you missed delivered to your dorm rooms!

Bondage fetish: thanks for letting us know

Dork shadow: ...thank you Nezu sensei

Dork shadow: thank you Hisashi-san

Dad for one: don’t mention it.

---

All for son: wazz goin on?

All for son: oh! Quirk appointment?! HELL YESS!

Dork shadow: you seem very excited about an appointment that isn’t yours.

All for son: Quirk meetings sound so cool! I hope you learn something cool about your bond with Dark Shadow!

Mom for all: I’ll also come with the four of you, if that’s ok. I need to get out of the house more often.

Dad for one: of course Inko. You’re more than welcome to come.

---

Coffat: we’re at the place.

Coffat: I can’t put my finger on it, but something feels… off. It feels like what going to my own quirk assessment appointments felt like.

Dork shadow: I feel it too

---

Dad for one: there’s been a situation.

Dad for one: Inko, keep Izuku and Hitoshi from getting into the building. I shall rectify this myself

Rat god: what happened?

All for son: THAT FUCKING DOCTOR’S A PIECE OF SHIT THATS WHAT!!

Coffat: Izuku, please calm down

All for son: THEY CALLED HIM A DEMON HI-CHAN.

Coffat: I know, and I’m furious too. But let your dad deal with them.

Coffat: besides. Murder’s too quick

Dad for one: well, I now have a newly humiliated doctor and a sobbing teenager.

Dad for one: @Rat god none of the children will be coming to school today.

Rat god: understandable. I’ll handle the institution

Mom for one: Listen up everyone: nobody is allowed to tell you that your quirk is a manifestation of who you are. If your doctor calls your quirk good or evil or anything else like that, they aren’t a doctor. They’re a fucking psychic, and they shouldn’t be practicing medicine

All for son: We’re taking Fumi-chan for ice cream. Hi-chan and I will try to help comfort him.

---

The room was spinning. Was he spinning? He didn’t even know anymore. His vision seemed to crackle and blur, and the people all around seemed to grow taller and bigger, filling his vision and consuming him. Distantly, he felt himself moving, but all he could focus on was the mass that had once been the crowd, staring down at him from all directions all at one.

Monster, they seemed to roar at him. demon, freak, you don’t deserve to live, you’re gonna kill us, you’re the reason your parents put you up for adoption, how could something like you exist in this world, you’re an abomination, freakmonsterabominationfreakmonsterabominationfreakmonsterfreakmonsterfreakmonsterfreakmonsterfreakmonsterfreakmonsterfreakmonsterfreakmonsterabominationfreakmonsterfreakmonsterdieDiediedimonsterfreakedieDiedimonsterfreakediemonsterfreakdieDiediediedieDiediedieDIEDIEMONSTERDIEDIEmonsterDIEDIEDIEDIE-

His thoughts were interrupted when a warm blanket was thrown over his shaking shoulders, and soft music started to play all around him. His vision cleared, and, from a distance, he could hear someone talking to him. They were talking about completely random things, and Fumikage felt Dark Shadow relaxing from their panic attack. He took a deep shuddering breath, and saw Izuku and Hitoshi looking at him in concern. There was a nice sensation on his scalp that he realized was Hitoshi stroking his feathers.

“Are you doing better?” That was Izuku. Fumikage curled his knees closer to his chest and shook his head. It was a slight twitch, but it was noticeable to his boyfriends. Hitoshi nodded. “Do you want me to keep touching you?” Fumikage nodded, the same amount, and Hitoshi didn’t stop.

They sat in silence for several minutes, letting Fumikage gather his breath, before he spoke up.

“Do you two hate me?” It was barely a whisper, and Izuku had the decency to look scandalized. “No!” he whisper-shouted, mindful of the pedestrians. “Why would we hate you?!”

“Because I’m a demon, aren’t I?” He was crying now. “Because I’m weak and useless and evil and hated and everyone hates me and just wants me gone even my parents wanted me gone-” he was rambling now, and he felt Izuku place a hand over his, stopping him.

“That doctor was wrong.” He looked up into Izuku’s eyes, which were as steely as he had ever seen them. “He was wrong, everyone in your life was wrong. You’re not a monster, you aren’t weak, you aren’t evil. You’re incredibly strong and kind and thoughtful. You’re so smart and cool, and Dark Shadow is a part of you. They aren’t a monster either.” Hitoshi nodded. “He’s right Kage. Neither of you deserve to be feared and hated, and anyone who does fear you because of the superficial aspects of both of you doesn’t deserve to be taken seriously.”

Fumikage sobbed and threw himself at Hitoshi, burying his beak in the other boy’s stomach, barely registering the boy’s soft chuckled or Dark Shadow smothering Midoriya with tear-stained hugs. Hitoshi reached down to hug him back, and the bird-headed boy allowed himself to relax for the first time all day, knowing that he was loved by enough people to cancel out everyone else in the world. He knew that they would comfort him as many times as he needed, and he relaxed.

“Thank you.”

Chapter Text

It’s not easy being green

Mother added Toshinori Yagi, Shota Aizawa, and Hizashi Yamada to the chat!

Bad touch man: aw fuck

Mother: Language, Tenko. These are now your family members

Greeny: You hear that Tenko? All Might’s going to be your daaaad.

Bad touch man: kill me

No talk me I’m angy: mood

Toshinori Yagi: what is this

No talk me I’m angy: a Midoriya family group chat

Blackberry: This is a space where Izuku unleashes his daily curse of “Y’all Might” upon the world, and forces us to suffer in silence

No talk me I’m angy: I like those memes

Blackberry: you’re dead to me

Blackberry: Izuku is the only one in my heart

Blackberry: Hitoshi who?

Greeny: alright calm down edgelord

Blackberry: I-

Shota Aizawa: ah yes, this is as cursed as I feared it would be

MISTifying: It reminds me of taking care of the League: keeping a leash on a bunch of murder-happy toddlers that can’t be trusted around anything

Awful one: and we appreciate you forever Kurogiri

MISTifying:

MISTifying: Goddammit Dabi

MISTifying: He’s setting the oven on fire again downstairs

MISTifying: …

MISTifying: annnd now he’s yelling at Toga. She sounds like she is going to stab him

Shota Aizawa: so… are you going to stop them

MISTifying: no

MISTifying: I’m going to drink myself into an early grave

Awful one: please don’t

Bad touch man: please don’t go mist papa I love you

MISTifying: don’t call me that

MISTifying: i’m going to find Atsuhiro. He’s the only man I trust not to kill himself trying to be a functional human being

Hizashi Yamada:

Hizashi Yamada: WELL THEN

Hizashi Yamada changed their name to “screme brulee!”

screme brulee changed Shota Aizawa’s name to “Delete-face!”

screme brulee changed Toshinori Yagi’s name to “Twunk!”

Twunk:

Twunk: I’m going to kill you Yamada

Screme brulee: eep

Awful one: That’s not very plus ultra of you, huh Toshi?

Twunk: fuck

Delete-face:

Delete-face: you’re very original Zashi.

Scream brulee: :D

Delete-face: that was sarcasm

Scream brulee: :(

Greeny: I feel like I was just witnessing a religious experience

Mother: these are the idiots I fell in love with

Awful one: She loves us!

Greeny:

Greeny: how did you become a villain?

Awful one: I don’t know myself

---

All for One Idiot

Five: It’s time for your daily meme!!!

Four: oh fuck

Six: please no

Two: I will actually kill you

Five: bitch we’re dead

Two: eight isn’t

Eight: Hey! I’m right here!

Seven: Sorry Toshi! We’re observing the green bean!

Clingy ex: what’s he doing?

One:

One: Really living up to your chat name, huh Sashi?

Clingy ex: stfu your mom buys you mega blocks instead of lego

One: YOU TAKE THAT BACK

Nine:

Nine: I cannot believe that the 200-year conflict is represented as memes between two depressed zoomers

Nine: Also, FYI dad, I’m playing Five Nights At Freddy’s with Hi-chan and Fumi-chan.

Nine: Fumi-chan wanted to show it to us

Nine:

Nine: oh shitsoifslifuVBALKJUYHESBVLKJUVYHWELK

Eight: Young Izuku?!

Clingy ex: IZUKU?!

Seven: relax! Relax! They just got jumpscared

Seven: so did five and three, but they’re all alright.

Five: wow way to call us out like that

Six: you screamed like a little bitch Daigoro

Five: WOW

Nine:

Nine: I hate it here

One: mood

Eight: mood

Two: OH MY ONE FOR ALL THE PRETZEL STICK KNOWS HOW TO MEME?!

Eight: Why does nobody think I know how to meme?!

One:

One: I have been dead for 200 years.

One: I have seen entire cultures change

One: I have seen heroes more powerful than you can imagine

One: so let me perfectly clear:

One: you have the meme knowledge of a fucking toddler.

Eight:

Eight:

Nine:

Clingy ex:

Clingy ex: I’m so proud of my little bro…

Eight: This is Aizawa Shota. Why is Toshinori sobbing into the hardwood?

Eight:

Eight: what the fuck is this?

Nine: hey, sensei…

Eight: Problem child…

Nine: gotta blast

Eight: GET BACK HERE

---

Class 1-gAy

Wheeyyy: why did Aizawa-sensei drag Midoriya through the common area?

Goddess: ah, so I’m not the only one who saw that

Bakagan: wait what the fuck happened?

Best cook: Sensei came out of the dorm hallways dragging Midoriya behind him with his capture weapon.

Goddess: Kyoka took one look at him and dove behind the couch.

Goddess: I have seen the devil themselves and they were fleeing from Sensei in that moment.

Sunshine^2: （｀〇Д〇）

Best cook: don’t worry Koji. I’ll protect you.

Sunshine^2: ᕕ (T-T)◟

Tangled buds: They have no faith in you

Best cook: I cry every time

Dupli-dicks: bad joke try again

Best cook: shut it before I decide I want octopus for dinner

Dupli-dicks:

Dupli-dicks: I’m scared now

Dupli-dicks: Johann? Protect me?

The color out of space: Mezo who? Never heard of ‘em.

Dupli-dicks: JOHANN

---

Yippeekayay, Motherfucker

Screaming Cowboy has added Ectoplasm to the chat!

Ectoplasm has changed their name to “Slope of dat ass!”

Tumbleweed: I wish I could say I was surprised but…

The good, the bad, and the ugly: you both are lucky there’s no school today and we can catch up on our sleep.

Slope of dat ass: eh?

Screaming cowboy: you’re a screamer, ecto love.

Slope of dat ass: and I didn’t know you had a gun kink but here we are

Screaming cowboy: I-

Tumbleweed: oh to see without my eyes

The good, the bad and the ugly: You’re becoming more and more like Kaminari every day

Slope of dat ass: YOU TAKE THAT BACK

---

Blackmail: Who wants to go ghost hunting?!

Dork shadow: MEMEMEMEMEME I DO I DO I DO!!!

All for son: I’d like to!

Dork shadow: I suppose I shall come too, if only to keep this beast under control

Dork shadow: MEANIE! YOU’RE BEING MEAN TO ME

Dork shadow: IZUIZU! PROTECT ME

Tangled buds: Tokoyami apologize to Dark Shadow

Dork shadow: I- I apologize. I didn't mean it like that.

Dork shadow: I too am interested in coming. I simply meant that I should come in order to ensure that Dark Shadow doesn’t get scared and lose control.

Dork shadow: I FORGIVE YOU STINKY-KAGE!

Goddess: that was the most adorable thing I have ever seen.

All for son: mood.

Blackmail: so unless I hear otherwise, everyone’s coming?

Best cook: Koji and I won’t be going. Koji doesn’t like haunted areas so I’m gonna stay here with him!

Blackmail: understandable! We can tell you about it when we get back if you want?

Sunshine^2: Sounds good!!

Sunshine: too.. Bright…

Blackmail: then let’s go!!!

Bondage fetish: please don’t die. I’m not responsible for you out there

All for son: with my luck? I make no promises

Bondage fetish: goddammit

---

Tails: so where are we going?

Blackmail: well, there’s a guided tour at Aldera middle that has enough slots open

All for son: let me look it up

Blackmail: ok!

All for son:

All for son: no

Blackmail: eh?

All for son: No. Not there. Never there

Bakagan: yeah fuck that place. Sack of shit’s got nothing to offer.

Blackmail:

Blackmail: alright. We could do the one at the Musutafu mall!

All for son: sounds good!

---

Tails: does anyone else think this place looks creepy or is it just me?

Dupli-dicks: well it is a mall at night, and it is meant to be haunted

Tails: granted, smartass, but does anyone else feel a weird chill?

ET call the doctor: me too

Kero: it is pretty cold, must be a chill

Tails: riiiiigghht…

Tails: also why are we all typing this?

Blackmail: we’re documenting the events for Sato and Koda!

Tails: got it. Let’s go

---

Ice ice baby: It’s so dark in here

Bakagan: says the human torch

Ice ice baby: hey now

Wheeyyy: God it’s so quiet

Phyllius the swift: at least the guide still has a light

Dork shadow:

Dork shadow: ...what light?

Coffat: huh? I’m with Sero and our guide has a light.

Dork shadow: but I’m also with our guide.

Dork shadow: he doesn’t have a light

Coffat:

Coffat: oh shit

ET call the doctor: you guys have a guide?

ET call the doctor: I’m in what I think is the lobaskjhavklyL

Wheeyyy: MINA?!

ET call the doctor: I’m fine! I’m fine. I just ran into… a tree?

Coffat: Well it is a mall, malls have trees

Tangled buds: This one doesn’t

Coffat:

ET call the doctor: malls don’t have ocean breezes either Shinso

Sunshine: guys?

Sunshine: did those mannequins used to be in the crocs store on the second floor?

Kero: ...no…

Sunshine: well, I’m stuck here. They in a row in front of the entrance

Bakagan:

Bakagan: stay right where you are Ejiro. I’m omw

Ice ice baby: WAIT KATSUKI NO

Ice ice baby: he’s gone…

Bakagan: Sorry Icythot. I’ll brb.

All for son: guys!!

All for son: GUYS HELP ME

All for son: HELP!!!

Dork shadow: IZUKU?!

Coffat: IZUKU!!

Sunshine: OH SHIT MIDOBRO

Ice ice baby: someone...help...please...father

ET call the doctor: Momo! Kyoka! You and I will go after Todoroki! The rest of you go for Midoriya!

Mettaton: WHAT WAS THAT SCREAM?!

Sunshine: THE FIGURES ARE MOVING FUCKING FUCK THEY MOVE

Bakagan: HOLY SHIT

Tails: RUN!!

ET call the doctor: WHY IS THERE MIST

Goddess: WHY IS ENDEAVOR HERE?!

Bakagan: KILL HIM!!

Tangled buds: I’M TRYING!!

Bondage fetish: What the fuck is going on now?

Tangled buds: GHOSTS!

Bondage fetish: haha

Coffat: WE’RE SERIOUS DAD!!

Dork shadow: WHERE THE FUCK IS IZUKU?!

Goddess: I saw him running for the bathrooms on the first floor!

Coffat: COME ON FUMIKAGE!

Y’all Might’ve: Where are you?!

He zoom: Musutafu general mall! Please send help!

I’ll shank a bitch: WHAT’S ALL MIGHT GOING TO DO AGAINST GHOSTS?! PUNCH THEM?!

Y’all Might’ve: YES GODDAMMIT

Bad touch man: I’ve got the car! Get in!!

Dad for one: We’re on our way!!!

Goddess: WHY ARE THE LIGHT BULBS EXPLODING?!

Sunshine: HELP! THEY HAVE ASSUMED FIGHTING POSES!

Bakagan: O SHIT

---

Wheeyyy: Well, now that we’re all back at the dorms, in one piece, around a fire, and drinking hot chocolate,

Wheeyyy: anyone wanna break down what the fuck just happened?!

Coffat: I love a good ghost story. I like wandering haunted graves

Bondage fetish:

Bondage fetish: we’ll talk about that later

Coffat: o shit

Coffat: I have never been as scared as I was in that moment jesus fuck

Tangled buds: mood

I’ll shank a bitch: are you okay, Todoroki.

Ice ice baby: I… I’m fine

Ice ice baby: I thought I saw Endeavor, but it’s okay. You guys made it in time.

Kero: alright. If you need to talk, my door’s open, kero.

Ice ice baby: thanks Tsu

Ice ice baby: how’s Midoriya?

Dork shadow: not very good.

Dork shadow: he saw one of his past bullies in the smoke and had a prolonged panic attack

Dork shadow: Hitoshi and I found him in the men’s bathroom, curled in a ball.

Coffat: currently, we’re all cuddled under one of Fumi’s giant blankets watching Animaniacs 2020

Sunshine: Thank god he has you two.

Dad for one: urge to kill bullies: rising…

Y’all Might’ve: please don’t turn to murder Hisashi.

Dad for one:

Dad for one: fine.

Bondage fetish: now then. We’re all tired from our night of ghost exploring, all trauma is out there to talk about, there’s only one thing to do:

Bondage fetish: GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP IT IS 4 IN THE MORNING JESUS FUCK

Wheeyyy: YES SIR PLEASE DON’T KILL US

Chapter Text

Dork shadow: greetings fellow insomniacs. It is now 3 AM, which means it is time for our regular revelry in the dark.

Dork shadow: Let us all make it clear that we are here.

Ice ice baby: yo

All for son: here!

Bondage fetish: your mandatory teacher supervision is here

Wheeyyy: ayyy!

Coffat: you know I’m here you’re holding me

Dork shadow: irrelevant

Tangled buds: howzzit goin hoes.

Dork shadow: excellent. We are all in attendance.

Dupli-dicks: mind if I join tonight? I can’t sleep.

Tangled buds: sure. Why not

Dork shadow: I have no issue with it. Welcome Mezou

Dork shadow: what shall we do tonight?

Dork shadow: Izuku I see you grinning.

Dork shadow: Izuku what’s that in your hand?

Coffat: Fumi… it’s the notebook

Dork shadow: oh shit

Wheeyyy: what notebook?

All for son: It’s my favorite notebook!

Coffat: Fumi and I call it “The extremely cursed notebook.”

Wheeyyy:

Wheeyyy: I know I’ll regret this,

Wheeyyy: but give it to me. Let’s hear it

Dork shadow: Kaminari what have you done?

Coffat: you’ve doomed us all

Bondage fetish: I’ve seen his notebooks, they can’t be that bad

All for son: How does Kamui Woods eat?

Bondage fetish: ...I spoke too fucking soon

All for son: does Kamui Woods even have a mouth? Or does he consume nutrients via photosynthesis? Could leaves grow on him if he tried hard enough? What is underneath the bark?! DOES HE FEEL SENSATION IN HIS WOOD FINGERS?!

Ice ice baby: I… uh… what…

Dupli-dicks: I should have just tried to sleep

Coffat: oh this is tame.

Bondage fetish: this is tame?!

Dork shadow: give us a second.

Dork shadow has added Hawks to the chat!

Hawks: baby bird?

Dork shadow: Kei-nii! Right on time! Izuku has questions for you

Coffat: Fumi you’re a sadist.

Dork shadow: Izuku, show Hawks your questions on him

Coffat: IZUKU NO

Wheeyyy: “Kei-nii?”

Dork shadow: shut

Ice ice baby:

Hawks:

Coffat: is he…?

Dork shadow: he’s still typing

Coffat: oh fuck

All for son: ifhawkscanfeeleverysinglefeelinginhisfeathersdoesthatmakehisfeatherslikehisfingershowdoeshegrowfeathersbackdoeshehavetalonscanhetalktobirdsiseatingchickencannibalismhawkstechnicallyhasthousandsoffingersandthatsreallyweirdhowfarcanhesensehisfeathersishefuckingdabiWHYAREHISFEATHERSLIKEHISFINGERSJESUSCHRIST

All for son:

Hawks:

Hawks:

Hawks:

Hawks: baby bird?

Dork shadow: yes?

Hawks: never call me again. I’m going to go cry in a corner somewhere

Dork shadow: ok. See you tomorrow?

Hawks: ...sure.

Hawks has left the chat!

All for son: Huh, he left.

All for son: oh well!

All for son: Who wants to hear my thoughts on Mount Lady and Death Arms!

Bondage fetish: ...I’m going to sleep.

Class 1-gAy

Rat god: Students!!

Wheeyyy: Could this have waited for a more reasonable time?

Rat god: I don’t know what you’re talking about Kaminari, it is 7 AM.

Rat god: but regardless!!

Rat god: As many of you are now in relationships of some kind or another, I have scheduled a new class for you today to replace hero training!

Rat god: You will be taking… Sex Ed with All Might!!

Rat god: You will be learning about all the secrets of human biology, as well as the pursuit of pleasure that humans apparently go through. This includes: sexual orientation, gender identity, safe sex, BDSM, and more!

ET call the doctor: ...why All Might?

Rat god: That’s for me to know and for you to wonder.

Dork shadow: …

Rat god: There will also be lessons on sex for people with mutations, as the biology is often different!

Dork shadow:

Sunshine: ...what was that explosion?

Bakagan: Wasn’t me, shitty hair

All for son:

All for son: Nezu-sensei, it appears that my arms and legs have shattered. May I skip class for today?

Rat god: Of course! I’ll just ask Recovery Girl to catch you up!

All for son: ...fuck

The color out of space: :D

The color out of space: Mezou!

Dupli-dicks: no

The color out of space: but-

Dupli-dicks: no. You are not asking me

The color out of space: but the people need to know!

Dupli-dicks: you are not asking me if I can turn my hands into penises.

The color out of space: If I don’t ask Kaminari will, and he has the tact of a brick of cement.

Wheeyyy: Hey!!

Dupli-dicks:

Dupli-dicks: Hey Midoriya.

Dupli-dicks: How much would it cost for you to break my arms

All for son: Tell me whether or not you can turn your hands into penises

Dupli-dicks:

Dupli-dicks: fine

Wheeyyy: WHAT?!

Dupli-dicks: as long as it’s not Kaminari asking, I’ll be fine

All for son: get over here. Which limb do you want snapped?

Dupli-dicks: neck, please

All for son: that’s murder

Dupli-dicks: I know

---

Coffat: That was the most uncomfortable experience I have ever had in my life

I’ll shank a bitch: Iida looked like he was going to throw up

Ice ice baby: At least you didn’t get asked about whether or not you have a temperature kink

Phillius the Swyft: I got asked about bondage

Goddess: Why did we have to watch someone giving birth?

Dork shadow: AHHHHHHHHH

Coffat: That’s fair

All for son: how bad was it?

Coffat: All Might looked like he was going to pass out

Y’all Might’ve: You do not know fear until Kaminari, with a straight face, asks if you have any kinks of your own.

All for son:

All for son: Denki Kaminari

Wheeyyy: Gotta blast!!

Tangled buds: You don’t get to talk Midoriya. You didn’t have to suffer the fallout.

Dupli-dicks: Recovery Girl gave us dildos to “practice with”

All for son: ^^^

Goddess:

Tangled buds: I spoke too soon

Voice kink: Just got back with the teachers. Apparently Monoma threw himself out of the window, Kuroiro ran into the wall and bounced off of it, Hatsume wanted to make a porn AI with an extensive catalogue of every fetish and sub-fetish in existence, and Thirteen was asked about Fifty Shades of Grey.

Bondage fetish: Hound Dog was asked if he has a knot.

Wheeyyy:

Phillius the Swyft: hoe don’t do it

Wheeyyy: but does he tho?

Bondage fetish: expelled

Phillius the Swyft: I warned you bro

Wheeyyy: awwww

Chapter Text

It’s not easy being green

Greeny: Hey mom I found a stray

Greeny: Can we keep him?

Mother: I don’t know, Izuku. Show me a picture?

Greeny: grumpypants.img

Awful one:

Bad touch man:

MISTifying: Izuku

MISTifying: please tell me you didn’t adopt the Hero Killer Stain off the streets.

MISTifying: and get him to take a selfie with you

Greeny: He was cold and hungry! I couldn’t just leave him there

Awful one: yes you can. It isn’t that hard!

Mother: Hisashi

Awful one: shutting up now

Bad touch man: how’d he even get out of prison, anyway?!

Awful one: *whistles innocently*

Delete-face: Hisashi, I’m firing you. Nezu will have to fight me

Delete-face: problem child, you’re expelled

Greeny: That’s what you said the last time

Greeny: whatcha gonna do, actuazKJvljavbladsvbSLv hbsE:>LIFUJBV:

Twunk: YOUNG IZUKU?!

Greeny: relax, the kid’s fine

Greeny: I jumped him and took his phone. He’s currently trying to claw at my arms

Greeny: anyway, who are all of you

Awful one: what have you been doing

Greeny: well, my face is too recognizable to actually have a job or have a house, so I’ve been living in the streets, scrounging

Greeny: this kid’s been buying me food for the past two weeks

Greeny: why, I don’t know, but I ain’t complaining

Bad touch man: damn hero kids, always putting themselves at risk

Greeny: mood

Greeny: now, who are all y’all

Mother: Inko

Awful One: All for One

Greeny: wait, seriously

Greeny: YOU’RE this kid’s dad?

Greeny: the living embodiment of sunshine is your kid?!

Awful One: yes

Greeny: wow, ok. I need to sit down

Awful one: why is it so hard to believe I can have children?

Twunk: …

Awful one: don’t answer that

Delete-face: Eraserhead

Screm Brulee: Present Mic

Twunk: All Might

Greeny: sweet

Blackberry: Tsukuyomi

No talk me I’m angy: Imperium

Bad touch man: Shigaraki

MISTifying: Kurogiri

Greeny: wait the entire league’s here? What did this kid do to turn you all good?

Bad touch man: I still don’t know lol

Greeny: Well, he is sufnwifuwaUGJVWK

Twunk: what happened?!

Greeny: Sorry guys! I’m back

Greeny: but he did pass out. I think he has hypothermia

Mother: Izuku, where are you

Greeny: Near the supermarket by UA

Mother: excellent. Kurogiri, can you pick him up and bring both of them here?

Awful one: Inko, you cannot be considering this!

Mother: Hisashi. Even if we don’t take him in, we should at least help him back on his feet. I am not leaving anyone out in the cold.

MISTifying: I am on my way, Izuku

Greeny: got it!

---

Bad touch man: so…

Awful one: that happened

Greeny: mom, I was only kidding when I asked if we could keep him

Greeny: now you legally adopted him as your son and I have another older brother

Greeny: W H Y

Mother: :)

Awful one: never do that again thanks

Mother : )

Mother has added Chizome Akaguro to the chat!

Mother has changed Chizome Akaguro’s name to “Iron and Oxygen!”

Iron and Oxygen: why

Mother: because blood! :D

Iron and Oxygen: …

Iron and Oxygen: alright then

Iron and Oxygen: thanks for adopting me, I guess?

Mother: anytime!

Delete-face: so… what’s up with his sentence?

Twunk: I’d be more than willing to put in whatever words I still have left, but I fear that that may not be enough on its own.

Iron and Oxygen: Yeah, the public’d think All Might was crazy

Rat God has added themselves to the chat!

Rat God: that won’t be a problem!

Awful one: what the fuck?!

Twunk: JESUS CHRIST

Greeny: Oh good god

Rat God: oh stop screaming All Might. This is tame for me and you know it

Twunk: ifidontlookitsnotrealifidontlookitsnotrealifidontlookitsnotrealifidontlookitsnotreal

Rat God: oh dear. I think I broke him

Rat God: ANYway

Rat God: Stain, if you’re willing, I’d like to offer a position as a TA at UA

Iron and Oxygen: w-wait, what?

Rat God: UA is currently in the process of setting up a rehabilitation program for villains, and you would be the first person in the program! The TA position is just for you to make some money, and so we can keep an eye on you!

Iron and Oxygen: …

Iron and Oxygen: I don’t have a choice, do i?

Rat God: Nope!

Iron and Oxygen: …

Iron and Oxygen: fine

Rat God: Excellent!

Rat God: come into UA with young Midoriya in three days to look over the terms of your employment!

Rat God: Ta-ta!!

Rat God has left the conversation!

Iron and Oxygen: ...he scares me

Awful one: ditto

MISTifying: ...let’s talk about something else!

MISTifying: Akaguro-san, do you have a particular food you enjoy?

Iron and Oxygen: ...uh, soba, why?

MYSTifying: excellent. I will begin preparations immediately.

Iron and Oxygen: I’m in love.

---

Private message between Awful one and MISTifying!

Awful one: someone’s got a crusshhh

MISTifying: you stop it now, I don’t have a crush

Awful one: but you didn’t ask Tenko for his favorite food when we took him in

MISTifying: …

Awful one: besides, you’re being remarkably nice to a guy who tried to kill you

MISTifying: I know, but…

MISTifying: I’m starting to gain more memories

MISTifying: of before I was… Kurogiri.

MISTifying: among them, I remember seeing Aizawa-san as a teenage the most

MISTifying: I think I was once a friend of his

MISTifying: …

Awful one: do you want to talk about it?

MISTifying: later

MISTifying: but I think I see a lot of Aizawa-san in Akaguro-san, and my heart feels very… frail around him.

MISTifying: like any sort of disturbance will make it burst.

Awful one: oh, yeah, you’re in love.

Awful one: that’s exactly how I felt around Inko at the beginning.

MISTifying: what do I do?

Awful one: you don’t have to do anything. If you want, you can just be friends and leave it at that.

MISTifying: and if I don’t want that?

Awful one: then you can make an effort to get close to Chizome. A relationship will not work if you don’t have a strong foundation first.

MISTifying: Am I… coming on too strong?

Awful one: nah, I think you’re fine. Just continue to be kind to him

MISTifying: I will

MISTifying: thank you, Hisashi-san

Awful one: anytime Kurogiri. Anytime at all.

Chapter Text

Private Message between Chizome Akaguro and Kurogiri!

Chizome Akaguro: Hey Kurogiri?

Kurogiri: mm?

Chizome Akaguro: Thanks. For the soba

Chizome Akaguro: It’s been years since I had it, and it…

Chizome Akaguro: It was wonderful. Thank you.

Kurogiri: It was my pleasure. I’m glad you enjoyed it.

Kurogiri:

Kurogiri: actually, would you… like me to teach you to make it?

Chizome Akaguro: huh?

Kurogiri: if I taught you, you would be able to make it whenever you wanted.

Chizome Akaguro: I.. i’m not good at cooking

Kurogiri: neither is anyone else in this household.

Kurogiri: I’d still like to teach you, if you desire.

Chizome Akaguro:

Chizome Akaguro: I’d be happy to learn.

Chizome Akaguro: let me come back to the apartment. Nezu and I were discussing the terms of employment.

Kurogiri: I await your arrival

---

It’s not easy being green

MISTifying: @everyone except Akaguro-san

MISTifying: get out of the apartment.

Bad touch man: what the fuck why

MISTifying: I will be teaching Akaguro-san how to make soba, as it is his favorite food.

MISTifying: I cannot have you heathens messing up the place and getting in the way

MISTifying: especially you, Hisashi-san

Awful one: okay, rude

MISTifying: O U T

Greeny: we’re going, we’re going

Mother: enjoy your date, dearies!

Iron and Oxygen: D-date?!

---

Private Messages between Awful one and MISTifying!

Awful one: get some

MISTifying: Shut

---

MISTifying: HELP

Awful one: WHAT’S HAPPENING?!

MISTifying: HE’S PUTTING HIS HANDS ON MY WAIST

MISTifying: WHAT DO I DO

Awful one: that’s it?

MISTifying: HELP

Awful one: OKAY. you want him, right?!

MISTifying: yes…?

Awful one: then reciprocate

MISTifying: how

Awful one: KISS HIM

MISTifying: I’M TOO SCARED

---

Private Messages between Awful one and Iron and Oxygen!

Iron and Oxygen: Sir?

Iron and Oxygen: Why did Kurogiri just scream and disappear?

Awful one: ah fuck

Awful one: he’s really socially awkward.

Iron and Oxygen: did I do something wrong?

Awful one: no, you didn’t

Awful one: he’s just going through a lot, and he doesn’t handle obvious affection well

Iron and Oxygen: fuck, I messed up

Iron and Oxygen: I need to apologize

Awful one: give him some time to calm down.

Awful one: besides, I don’t think he blames you. You couldn’t have known that he was going through a lot.

Iron and Oxygen: ...alright.

Iron and Oxygen: oh. Hypothetically, if I were to have an interest in Kurogiri, how would you respond?

Awful one: I’d tell you to learn to cook. He loves it when people cook with/for him.

Iron and Oxygen: wait, that’s it?

Awful one: do you want me to disapprove?

Iron and Oxygen: NO THIS IS FINE

---

Private Messages between Greeny and Leggy!

Greeny: Hey Iida?

Leggy: What seems to be the matter, Midoriya-kun?

Greeny: I need to tell you something, but please don’t get mad, okay?

Leggy: did you kill someone?

Greeny: no, and that’s the issue here.

Greeny: I think my family… just adopted the Hero Killer Stain…

Leggy:

Leggy: WHAT THE FUCK, MIDORIYA

Greeny: I’M SORRY

Leggy: okay! Okay, okay.

Leggy: What happened?

Leggy: are you in danger?

Greeny: no! We’re alright!

Greeny: Stain had been homeless since the Tartarus breakout, and I found him starving in an alley.

Leggy: Let me guess: you gave him food because you wanted to help?

Greeny: I gave him food because I wanted to help

Greeny: anyway, the last time I met Stain, he passed out from hypothermia, and I brought him to my place.

Greeny: when he was warm and awake, Mom adopted him.

Greeny: TL;DR, Stain is now my older brother.

Leggy: …

Greeny: Also, Nezu is putting him in a villain reformation program, but until the program is done, he’s gonna be a TA under Shota-san

Leggy:

Greeny: I just wanted you to know ahead of time

Leggy: I… I see

Leggy: thank you Midoriya

Leggy: I need time to think

Greeny: of course.

Greeny: see you Iida

---

Private Messages between Leggy and Army!

Leggy: Tensei?

Army: what’s up, Tenya?

Leggy: I need your help

Leggy: Midoriya’s family has adopted the Hero Killer Stain into their family, and Nezu is putting him through a villain reform program. Until he’s done, he’ll be a TA for Aizawa-sensei.

Army: …

Army: huh

Leggy: that’s it? “Huh”?

Army: sounds cool.

Leggy: How am I supposed to deal with this?!

Army:

Army: oh, I get it now

Army: look, Tenya.

Army: I don’t know how you’re supposed to deal with this.

Army: I’m handling it better because I’m an adult who has learned how to handle setbacks, and because I’m used to working with… unsavory individuals.

Army: you’re just a kid, who’s looked up to me your whole life. It’s okay to still feel angry and upset at the man who crippled me.

Army: I can lecture you on morality and moving forward until my legs heal themselves, and it won’t change a damn thing about this.

Army: the only thing you can do, at this point, is learn for yourself how to work with former villains and vigilantes. You have to decide for yourself whether to forgive him or not

Army: forgiving doesn’t mean you forget what he did. I won’t.

Army: forgiving just means you’ll give him a chance, however small.

Leggy: …

Army: besides, Nezu knows what he’s doing here.

Leggy: ...I…

Leggy: I think I want to give him a chance.

Army: alright Tenya. That’s really all you need to do right now.

Leggy: thank you Tensei

Army: anytime Tenya.

---

Private Messages between MISTifying and Iron and Oxygen!

Iron and Oxygen: Hey, Kurogiri?

MISTifying: yes, Akaguro-san?

Iron and Oxygen: I just wanted to say… sorry for what happened earlier today.

Iron and Oxygen: I didn’t mean to hurt you at all
MISTifying: You did not hurt me, Akaguro-san. I am simply working through some issues right now.

MISTifying: do you… really like me in that way…?

Iron and Oxygen: Yeah. I do.

Iron and Oxygen: You’re cool and collected, not to mention an incredible head on your shoulders. I admire you deeply.

MISTifying:

MISTifying: I…

MISTifying: I feel the same for you, but I do not think I am ready for a relationship yet.

MISTifying: do not take this to mean I do not like you, it’s just that I don’t yet know who I am, and I’d like to find out first.

Iron and Oxygen:

Iron and Oxygen: I understand. I’ll support you in all of this

MISTifying: Thank you, Akaguro-san

Iron and Oxygen: If you want, you can call me Chizome. I’m fine with that

MISTifying:

MISTifying: very well. Chizome it is

MISTifying changed their name to “Kurogiri!”

Iron and Oxygen changed their name to “Chizome!”