Work Text:
Teucer always got what he wanted- damn him, and his puppy dog eyes, the way he would whine that Childe wasn't paying enough attention to him, and his stupidly adorable pouty lip. This child was adorable and he knew it, and he weaponized it. So when he asked to accompany Childe to a “business meeting” with Zhongli, Childe couldn't do anything but sigh and comply. He didn't know how to explain to the 8 year old that this wasn't for business at all, and that he was actually trying to court the man he was meeting with.
“Alright. Fine. We're meeting at Wanmin Restaurant- Lumine took you there before, right?” Childe sighs, looking down at his very excited little brother.
“Oh oh! That's the place that makes the spicy food I can't eat! Big sister Lumine asked the cooking man to make our food special so I could eat it!” Teucer bounces as he follows Childe down the street.
Right. He'd have to pay extra for that, but really, it didn't matter. Childe would do anything for Teucer’s happiness. Even ruining his own date with Zhongli, apparently. Not that it was a real date- Childe had simply invited the man out for a meal. As… “friends”. He had intended on bringing up his feelings about Zhongli over the meal but with Teucer now in tow, it would have to wait.
Childe gives chef Mao a little wave as he passes by, heading straight for where Zhongli is sitting. He has a cup of tea, and some sort of book, and Childe wonders how long he's been sitting here.
“Sorry for keeping you waiting- there's been a… slight change of plans.” Childe gestures behind him, towards Teucer.
Zhongli gently closes his book and looks up, first at Childe, then to Teucer, and back to Childe. “I didn't realize you were old enough to have children this age.”
“Oh- no no no no, this is-” Childe holds back a snort of laughter. “This is my brother, Teucer. He begged me to let him come along tonight… and who am I to say no?”
“Brother…” Zhongli looks back down at Teucer. “This makes a lot more sense. My name is Zhongli.”
“I know!! Big brother told me lots about you!” Teucer exclaims with a huge smile on his face. Zhongli can definitely see that the two are related. “You're super cool, just like my big brother!”
“Is that so?” He looks back at Childe, who looks mortified. “I didn't think I was interesting enough to tell others about.” If Childe didn't know any better, he would say Zhongli is teasing him.
“Haha, alright, let's sit down and get some food ordered for you, buddy.” Childe quickly turns to Teucer, as if worried about what the boy was going to say next.
“I already ordered food for the two of us. I didn't know your brother was coming, so you'll have to order for him.” Zhongli explains, and Childe nods.
“Right. I'll be right back, then. Teucer, why don't you tell Zhongli about the things you've seen here in Liyue so far?” He smiles at Teucer before turning to leave and order.
Now that Childe is gone, it's just Zhongli and Teucer at the table. It's been so long since Zhongli has interacted one on one with a kid- he can't help but feel just a little nervous.
“So, Teucer, what brings you to Liyue?” Zhongli starts with something simple.
“Big brother hadn't come home in a long time and I really wanted to see him… I know he's really busy but I wish he wasn't away from home for so long! So I found a way to him!” Teucer waves his hands around excitedly before pausing. “Although, he didn't seem too happy when I told him I came here by myself…”
“You must really love your brother to take such a big trip to come see him.” Zhongli smiles. He's glad Childe has a nice family, at least. Being a Fatui Harbinger can't be the best for one's mental health, at least there are some nice aspects of his life.
“Uh huh! I also wanted to meet all the people he's told us about in his letters! I've met big sister Lumine, and now I get to meet you!” Teucer beams. “He's said a lot about both of you!”
Zhongli understands Childe mentioning Lumine to others, she's an interesting case. But why him? He's just a funeral director- well. He was Liyue’s god, but he's sure Childe wouldn't tell that secret to even his own family.
“You're very pretty, just like big brother said in his letter to sister Tonia!”
Zhongli stares at the tiny kid version of Childe. Pretty? Sure, he'd been called that before, but it was different coming from Childe.
“Alright. I've got something ordered for you now.” Childe says as he walks back over to the table and takes a seat next to Teucer. “What did you tell mister Zhongli about, Teucer?”
“All the stuff you've said about him to sister Tonia!” Teucer exclaims, and the color drains from Childe’s face.
“Is that so?” Childe forces a smile and hopes it doesn't look too fake.
“Yeah! Sister Tonia always seemed excited when you wrote about him, and she'd always tell us the things you said! I'm not really too interested in those types of things, but…” Teucer looks towards Zhongli. “I'm really happy big brother found someone so cool to get married to!”
“Married?” Zhongli asks whereas Childe squawks. What is Childe writing in those letters? Why is he telling his family that they're married?
“Sister Tonia said you're married. Or maybe that she thinks you should marry him? I don't really remember…” Teucer mumbles, as if trying to recall what was written in the letters. “Whatever it was, I'm super excited to have another cool big brother!”
Childe needs a way to explain himself without breaking his poor little brother's heart. He glances around the restaurant, as if that would get him anywhere, and spots Lumine and her little fairy friend… Paimon, he recalls. Perfect timing.
“Hey, Teucer, Lumine is here! Why don't you go say hi to her?” Childe points out the blonde on the other side of the restaurant. He loves the way Teucer lights up when he sees her.
“Oh! Okay! I'll be right back!!” Teucer jumps out of his seat and runs over to Lumine and Paimon. With him occupied, Childe has a chance to explain himself. Maybe.
“We're married?” Zhongli smiles. He finds this funny- damn him, this is horrifying.
“Okay. I might have talked a lot about you but I never ONCE said we were married. Tonia… likes to get ahead of herself sometimes.” Childe raises his hands defensively. While he had intended to tell Zhongli his feelings about him, he hadn't expected it to happen like this.
“I'd like to know what you wrote in those letters for them to come to this conclusion.” Zhongli brings his cup of tea to his smiling lips.
“So I might have told her that you're pretty.” Childe says, pointing at Zhongli. “And I might have also said that your smile extends my lifespan by 10 years. Can I not tell my sister about men who look like they came straight from a fairytale? She likes to hear about these types of things.” God. A gay man can't gush about pretty men to his sister?
“Hmm.” Zhongli takes a sip of his tea. “That still doesn't explain the marriage.”
“Okay- okay. I might have… mentioned… maybe somewhere in one of those letters, that I would be willing to drop the Fatui to be with you.” Childe sinks in his seat. “Maybe. But look, I- I was planning on telling you how I felt! I just… wasn't expecting it to happen because of Teucer.”
“It seems your brother has a better grasp of your feelings than you do.” Zhongli chuckles. People had confessed to him before, but never in such a lighthearted and cute way. It's endearing. He would be lying if he said he didn't have feelings for Childe.
“Can't you just… smite me now or something? Crush me with one of those meteors?” Childe whines. “Anything would be less painful than this.”
“Why would I want to bring harm to my lovely husband?” Zhongli tilts his head to the side.
“We're not-” Childe drags his hands down his face. “We're not married, Zhongli.”
“I can arrange a wedding, if you'd like.” Zhongli’s joking tone is gone- is he... is he serious? Does he even know what he's saying here? He can arrange a wedding. To get married. To Childe.
“Zhongli. We're not even in a relationship- you can't just- we can't just… jump straight to marriage.” Childe stutters as he tries to find his words.
“A relationship…” Zhongli brings his hand to his chin, as if he'd never heard of dating before.
“You know. The thing that leads up to getting married.” Childe explains (poorly).
“So, what we have now?” Zhongli’s smile is back.
“No!” Childe wants to bang his head on the table. “Well, yes, but… we never established that's something we wanted? Plus, I'd rather take things a bit slower, you know?”
“Are we establishing that this is something we want now?”
Childe pauses. Are they? Is this Zhongli’s weird way of asking him to be in a romantic relationship? “Is that… is this something you want? I've already said what I want.”
“I think…” Zhongli reaches across the table and places his hand atop Childe’s. “I think I would like to try.” He smiles gently at him- and god what did Childe do to deserve this man- if he could call him that.
Childe is snapped from his thoughts when his brother returns from across the restaurant. “Big brother, look! Big sister Lumine gave me this cool charm!” He holds out his hand to show a crudely made Ruin Guard charm. “She said she made it herself! Just for me!”
Childe looks between Teucer and Zhongli, and then down at their hands on the table. “We should… discuss this later.” Without Teucer here to watch Childe fumble with his own feelings.
“Whatever you say, ‘husband.’” Zhongli smiles as he pulls his hand back into his lap.
Childe hates (loves) the way it rolls off his tongue. Maybe someday he'll make it a true statement.