Work Text:
Yamato thought often about his own existence, about its paradoxes and contradictions.
He has his exemplar, of course — that's where it all started. He was young then, still in the muddled, turbulent chaos of early adolescence, just beginning to grasp all the disparate threads of what it meant to be, to self-reflect. In the middle of all that, of discontent and uncertainty and a disjointed sense that all was not as it should be, there was Oden — tall, strong, bold, full of a conviction that let him endure the worst humiliations that his enemies could imagine. Yamato — who was not yet Yamato, no, that came later — Yamato watched Kouzuki Oden's conviction carry him through ordeals that should have killed him, and felt his heart pound in his chest with the sudden recognition, the sudden intense rapture of finding exactly what he wanted to be.
This is a man! his heart cried out, and in that same moment, he knew he would follow Oden's convictions to the ends of the earth.
The recognition gave him a great deal of clarity. All the things he had felt but not been able to name, all of the places where his life seemed to come together at odd angles, uncomfortable and grating like a door that would not slide properly — in the knowledge that his life's course was to follow the principles of manhood as displayed by Oden to the closest and fullest extent possible, he found the answers to those things.
He would be Oden, as much as anyone could be.
Rumor had it that Oden's son had vanished, not died — that he would return one day, triumphant, to avenge his father. But the best intelligence Yamato's father had been able to find was that Kouzuki Momonosuke had perished. At first, he toyed with adopting that name for himself. They were a few years apart in age, and the notion of carrying a dual identity had some appeal to him. By day, be Kaido's obedient child, and by night be Oden's heir, rally the people, foment resistance to the current regime. There was romance in it.
But then he saw Kaido's reaction the first time an attempting uprising made it far enough to gain any real traction. The instigators were mercilessly cut down — tortured to death, their agonies shown in full to their loved ones. No, he could not lead the people into such a death trap. They were not strong enough to destroy Kaido, and so the dream of a renewed Momonosuke leading his father's people to freedom was set aside.
The thought lingered, though. To take up a Kouzuki name — to step aside from his own lineage and take up a better one. He read Oden's journal deep into the night, and slept with it under his pillow, the better to dream of a heritage he could take pride in.
And that's when the idea came to him — in a dream. He dreamt of Oden standing before him, clasping his shoulder with manly pride. "Take up my mantle!" the dead man proclaimed, loud and hearty as he was in life. "Carry my name into the future!"
When he awoke, he knew what he would do.
In his own journal — of course he kept a journal, just as Oden had! — he wrote it at the top of a fresh page.
I will become Kouzuki Oden. I will carry his name and his dream into the future. I have his own blessing.
Being Oden meant being a man, and the child — not so much a child by now — who would be Yamato took to this sense of identity immediately. Once it settled upon him, there was no question of hesitating or turning back. It suited him far more than anything he had ever before considered. Before he spoke openly of his manhood, he practiced it; he squared his shoulders and spoke aloud to his father's underlings, commanding them with masculine confidence when they displeased him. It was heady, intoxicating — he felt himself in that strong sense and confident speech, felt finally right in his own skin.
So, finally, decision made, he went to his father and explained, not hesitating or shy but firm and sincere, that he was not a daughter but a son, no matter what had been proclaimed at his birth or what he looked like. Truth be told, despite his confident demeanor, he had rather expected his father to take it badly. But much to his startlement, Kaido listened, resting his chin in one hand, and asked thoughtful questions.
When he was done, Kaido asked, "So then, my son, what shall I call you?"
Those words expanded his chest with warmth, and for a long moment, Yamato forgot that Kaido was Oden's killer, and therefore his own implacable enemy. For that brief time, he was a son accepted by his father, and he felt seen and loved. He had not expected such a good answer, but he had prepared for the question all the same. To call himself Oden openly would be to tip his hand of his enmity toward his father, but he'd done his research, and chosen a name that meant everything he wanted to say and would likely please Kaido as well.
Yamato. An old, traditional name of Wa no Kuni, a name that meant identification with the land. It was a name he was sure Oden would have approved of — a name that, in his mind, meant rebellion against Kaido, who was after all a foreign overlord. But he could see that in his father's mind, if Kaido even knew what it meant, it signified Yamato's willingness to prepare to inherit the rulership.
And so the pirate emperor nodded firmly. "Very well, then. You are Yamato, my son. I will proclaim you the next time my men are gathered."
Yamato grinned as he knelt, but even so, a thread of cold worked its way into his chest. You've accepted me, Father, he thought, but one day, I will overthrow you. Oden's dream will be returned to this land!
In the end, it would take years more, but when the lean little figure of Straw Hat Luffy burst on the scene and ripped the controlling, hateful manacles from Yamato's wrists — manacles earned from too many impetuous incidents of defiance, too many times when Oden nearly boiled over into public view — he knew his dream, his mission from his dead mentor, would come to be.