Work Text:
While collecting the stars, I connected the dots
I don't know who I am, but now I know who I'm not
I'm just a curious speck that got caught up in orbit
***
Make my messes matter
Make this chaos count
_________________________________
Tony’s concentration on the book he was reading was interrupted by a scream from his wife. Even though he was retired, he always kept the nanosuit close by (old habits die hard), and he had his gauntlet up in an instant, ready to fight. Then he looked to the window and saw what had made her scream.
He rolled his eyes. “Let him in, Friday.”
“Sorry, Pepper,” Peter said as he climbed through the window, but his laughter made it hard to believe his apology.
“Don’t do that, Peter! I might not have the heart condition Tony’s always griping about,” she shot a grin to Tony, who pretended to be offended, “but I would rather stay away from one.”
“Duly noted.” Peter shed his coat and sauntered over to the couch, cuddling up to Tony with no embarrassment. There had been a time that the easy affection between the two seemed impossible, and Tony was forever grateful those times were long past them. He put his arm around the boy, pulling him closer and picking up his book again.
“What’re you reading?” Peter murmured.
Tony showed him the cover, a book on astronomy and the physics of stars, and was surprised to see Peter’s face light up.
“I love astronomy!” he said.
“Really? I used to, but I started to hate it. For obvious reasons. I was hoping that reading about it more might make me hate it less.”
Peter hummed. “I probably should hate space, too, but it was always my thing with Ben. I guess I just refused to let it go.”
Tony could understand that. He’d never had any particular connection to space, just an idle interest in it as a kid. He’d started looking down whenever he was out at night, unable to look at the black expanse above him without seeing destruction and death. His experiences in the wormhole were soon joined by red dust and grey ash that seared his skin with grief and guilt. He had even started hating the moon.
But Peter was back, and Tony was trying to work through his hatred of and anxiety from space. Hence the book.
“You know, there’s a meteor shower tomorrow night. The Leonids. I’ve never seen one.” Peter sighed wistfully.
They continued their night as usual, but the gears in Tony’s head had started turning. He had an idea.
“What are you planning?” Pepper asked him skeptically that night as she got into her pajamas. “You have that look in your eye you get when you have an idea.”
“I was thi-in abou ta-in Peer sta-azing.” Tony was brushing his teeth, so it came out garbled and unintelligible, but Pepper spoke fluent Tony nonsense, so she understood.
“I think that’s a great idea. There’s that campsite close by that we took Morgan to that one summer. The stars were pretty spectacular there.”
Tony smiled at the memory around his toothbrush, and retreated to the bathroom to spit so he could talk normally.
“Yeah, that’s a good idea. Just for tomorrow night. You can handle things here, right?” He teased.
Pepper rolled her eyes. “As if I don’t handle things all day every day.”
Tony kissed the corner of her smile. “You’re not wrong.”
***
Peter sleepily shuffled into the kitchen the next morning, grunting a greeting unceremoniously at Tony, who chuckled and put a plate with a pile of pancakes and some bacon in front of him. Peter perked up instantly at the prospect of food, and dug in with gusto.
“I will never understand how you can eat that much.”
Peter grinned around a mouthful of pancake, his cheeks sticking out like a chipmunk’s and forcing Tony to use every ounce of self control to keep from pinching them. He was sure Peter wouldn’t appreciate that.
“What can I say? I’m a growing boy!” Peter took a moment to swallow. “Thanks for the breakfast, by the way.”
Tony's amazing self control apparently didn't extend to ruffling Peter’s hair. “Anytime, kiddo,” he said. rubbing the kid's curly locks. “So, I was thinking, Pete. You want to go see the meteor shower tonight?”
Peter paused in his chewing, eyes wide with excitement and disbelief. “What?!”
“Well, I just figured since you said you’d never seen a meteor shower, and I happen to know of a really good camping spot, that you might want to go.”
Peter nodded, jumping up and crushing Tony into a hug, squeaking a thank you. The older hero squeezed him gently. “You’re welcome, bud.”
After finishing his food and putting his plate in the sink, Peter excitedly ran to his room to pack a bag for camping. It was a quick drive to the site, so they lounged around, watching a movie with Morgan and enjoying lunch as a family before they decided to leave.
Once everything was packed in the car, they were off. They stopped quickly at a grocery store because Peter insisted on hot dogs. Tony was more inclined to order takeout and eat it by the fire, but Peter had insisted on roasting hot dogs over the flames, and of course s'mores because “what camping trip is complete without s’mores, Tony?” Tony was quickly learning he had no self control when it came to Peter, so he ended up agreeing.
It was a quick drive, and Tony reveled in the easy conversation and camaraderie between him and his kid. He never got tired of just talking and spending time with Peter, and it definitely helped distract from the slight worry in his chest about spending a night staring at space.
They pulled into the campsite and Peter stretched as he got out. Tony let him pull out the tent. Being Tony Stark’s, it was no ordinary tent. It was huge, for one; Tony was pretty sure at least six of the Avengers had stayed in it one mission. It also had the comfiest blow up mattresses, and a built in speaker system that connected to Friday.
Peter took one look as they laid it out, rolled his eyes, and mumbled something about glamping.
“Yeah, I know, Underoos, this isn’t the typical camping tent. But I saved the world, lost an arm, all that jazz. I think I deserve a little comfort.”
Peter let out a laugh. “Mmmmhmmmm. Sure. Are you sure it’s not just cause you’re old ?”
Tony gasped in mock offense. “Insubordination. I’m eating all your marshmallows.”
Peter didn’t look concerned as he hammered the stakes into place. “Uh huh, okay,” he grinned.
They made quick work of the tent, and even quicker work making the fire. Peter made it a competition gathering firewood, and Tony called him a cheater for climbing up a tree to get some bigger limbs.
“Show off,” he muttered as Peter flipped from the top of a tree, landing perfectly. “You’re like a cat, kid.”
Peter grinned, and they got to work making the fire. It blazed, warm and bright, and they roasted hot dogs and marshmallows as the sun sank lower and lower in the sky.
“Oh, Tony, look! ”
Tony glanced up just in time to see a star streak across the sky, and he couldn’t help but notice it’s beauty despite how his heart started thumping in his ears.
A hand slipped into his, stemming the panic.
“You’re here. You’re okay,” Peter whispered, and Tony took a shaky breath. “Did you know that shooting stars are little bits of debris from outer space? They enter the atmosphere and burn up. Sometimes they end up falling to the ground, but usually they just burn and disappear.”
Tony nodded. He had read that somewhere as a kid. Peter pointed to a group of stars.
“That’s the constellation Andromeda. See that blurry spot in the middle?” Tony nodded again. “That’s an entire galaxy. It’s amazing how we can see it so well this far away.”
Peter continued to talk quietly, spouting off facts that Ben had taught him or that he’d learned from class. A strange sort of peace filled Tony as Peter's voice swirled with the crackling of the fire, replacing the panic in his heart.
“Tell me about Ben,” he whispered eventually.
Peter let out a little sigh. It wasn’t sad, more wistful than anything. “He was the best. You know this already, but he was the reason I became Spider-Man. He was kind, he cared about everybody he met, and he always made time for me. He was my hero.” Peter paused, and his voice went quiet. “He would have liked you.”
Tony sniffed back unexpected tears. When Peter first came into his life, he hadn’t known what he meant to Peter for a long time, but he’d known he wasn’t the kid’s dad and uncle, and he had been so worried Peter felt like he was trying to replace them or something.
“I’d’ve been honored, and know I would have liked him too,” he finally answered.
“You know, you remind me a lot of him. There was always a huge hole when he died, and you obviously didn’t fill the hole completely. Only he could. But you filled a different hole. You made it easier." Peter squeezed Tony's hand. "You still do. I’m glad I have you.”
All the fear, the sorrow, the worry, every mess he made and every bit of chaos that came with raising a child was worth it in that moment. He squeezed Peter’s hand back, telling his kid thank you without saying it.
The fire crackled, the warmth washing over them and creating such a sense of peace that, combined with Peter’s hand in his, made it impossible for Tony to feel scared anymore.
And above them, the stars rained down.