Work Text:
Elsa raised her fist to knock on her sister’s door, hesitated, and pulled her fist back. She tsked at herself and resumed pacing up and down the carpeted hallway, wringing her hands anxiously.
“Come on, Elsa,” she muttered to herself. “You can do this. All you have to do is… knock… and just get it over with. Easy. Simple.” She stopped her pacing and gazed at Anna’s door as though afraid a great beast would come bursting out of it at any moment; she gulped. “Easy,” she repeated, trying to convince herself.
Oh, this was ridiculous. She was never going to make any progress if she couldn’t even take the first step. Elsa drew herself up, thrust her shoulders back, and tried to call on her the memory of her mother’s queenly reserve. She was the ruler of Arendelle—surely she could conduct herself with far more dignity than this. She’d been disastrously exposed as a user of magic, hunted by the Duke of Weselton’s guards, and imprisoned within her own palace, and she’d conquered that. She’d been forced to face the consequences of never having learned how to control her powers, and she’d conquered that! She could do this! All she had to do was—
Knock, knock, kno-knock, knock!
Elsa startled a little bit. She’d knocked on Anna’s door without consciously deciding to.
Well, she thought, somewhat chagrined. No backing out now.
“Just a minute!” Anna called from inside. There was the sound of rushing feet, a squeak, and a dull thump that indicated Anna had tripped over something and gone sailing to the floor. Elsa pressed a hand to her mouth to stifle a giggle. After a few moments, the door swung open, Anna panting and slicking a hand through her messy hair. “Elsa!” Anna broke out into a wild grin and attacked Elsa with a hug. Elsa laughed again, more warmly this time, and returned the gesture.
“Anna,” she said, as regally as she could. She cleared her throat, willing her eyes not to give away her anxiety. “I have something I need to tell you.”
“Oh?” Anna raised her eyebrows and tilted her head, completely unconcerned.
Elsa swallowed her nerves and clasped her hands in front of her waist so tightly she could feel them trembling. She took a deep breath through her nose, raised her chin in a deliberate display of queenliness. She could do this. She’d been working up the courage to do it all morning. All she had to do was open her mouth and say the words.
“Anna,” she said. “There’s… something I want you to know. About… myself.” Okay. So far, so good.
Anna’s brow creased in confusion. She narrowed her turquoise eyes a little, stepped out more fully into the hallway, and slowly closed the door behind her. “O…kaaaaay. Everything alright?”
“Yes!” Elsa exclaimed, a little too eagerly. She clenched her hands even tighter. “Ah, yes. Everything is just fine. There’s no need to be concerned.”
“So what’s up?”
“I… well, I…” Easy, Elsa’s previous words to herself echoed in her ears. Simple. Ha. As if. “I’ve been thinking… recently, and… I’ve come to a few… realizations… about myself.”
Anna nodded encouragingly, eyes locked very intently on Elsa’s face.
“I…” Oh, for Heaven’s sake! Out with it! Elsa rolled her eyes at herself, dragged a hand down her face in a distinctly unqueenly manner, and ran her hands back through her bangs anxiously. “As queen of Arendelle,” she rushed, pushing the words out of her with a very physical effort, “you know that I will most likely be expected to marry one day.”
Anna’s eyes lit up. She gasped and threw her hands over her mouth. “Oh, Elsa,” she whispered through her fingers. “Don’t tell me… you’ve found someone! Ah!” She squealed excitedly.
Elsa winced. Guilt frothed in the pit of her stomach. This was exactly the opposite conclusion she had wanted her sister to come to, and now she was going to have to dash Anna’s happiness. “I… No, actually. I haven’t.”
“Oh?” Well, at least Anna didn’t seem totally crushed. She tilted her head in that curious way of hers. “Then what is it?” She gasped, eyes going big. “Don’t tell me they found someone for you! Oh, Elsa, you just can’t let them run your life like that. You have to tell them you want to marry for true love!”
Another wince. “Anna, no…” This wasn’t going as well as Elsa had hoped. She took a deep breath to steady herself. It was now or never—the moment of truth. “You’re not understanding. The truth is… I don’t… love anybody.”
Anna frowned, but it wasn’t a severe expression, merely one of bewilderment. “What do you mean?”
“I…” Elsa’s hands were shaking. Trying to get them to stop, she clasped them in front of her waist once more. “I know you love Kristoff,” she said quietly. “And…” She smiled, a genuine, if wan, expression. “I’m happy for you. Truly, I am. And I know you want me to find my own Kristoff someday, but I… don’t think I ever will. Because, the truth is… I don’t want to. I don’t… love people… the way you do.”
Silence reigned in the corridor for a moment as Anna absorbed what Elsa had said. Elsa watched, nervously, as a dozen expressions flitted across Anna’s face: contemplation, followed by confusion, incomprehension. Eventually, Anna settled on an ambivalent look that Elsa couldn’t read.
“You mean… you don’t fall in love? Like, at all?”
Relief flooded Elsa’s chest at her sister’s understanding. “Yes,” she said breathlessly, her clasped hands coming up to her chest without her noticing it. “Yes, that’s exactly it.”
Slowly, Anna’s face opened up: her eyebrows rose into her hairline and her mouth curved into a little ‘o’ of realization. “Oh,” she breathed, looking at Elsa with new eyes. “I get it. You’re… ohhhhh.”
“I hope… you’re alright with it. Alright with… me.”
For a moment, Anna didn’t say anything, and Elsa’s stomach rebelled. Then Anna smiled, a soft and warm expression, and she reached out and put her hand on Elsa’s shoulder. “You know, we’re not so different, you and I,” she said. “We’re not like other people.”
Confusion made Elsa tilt her head; had she been able to see herself in that moment, it would have struck her how much she looked like Anna. “What do you mean?”
Anna’s smile grew. Her dimples decided to show themselves, and her eyes sparkled. “Y’see…” she said, with just the barest hint of nervousness. “I like everybody.”
“Huh?”
Anna shrugged. Even after all their years apart, Elsa knew her sister well enough to tell it was a forced expression of casualness. Anna was anxious about something. “I love Kristoff, and he’s a man—I mean, obviously. But… if he were a woman, I’d still love him. Her. You know what I mean?”
Elsa’s expression opened: her eyebrows went up and her mouth popped into a little ‘o’. “Oh,” she said quietly. Realization enveloped her like the dawn enveloping the treetops with its golden rays. “Ohhhhh.”
Anna bit her lip and tapped the tip of her shoe on the carpet like a little girl who’d been caught with her hand in the cookie jar. “Yep,” she said, a little breathlessly. “I, uh… I hope you’re alright with that. With me.”
Before Elsa could cobble together an appropriate response, her eyes flooded with a sudden wash of tears, and she found herself drawing away from Anna to swipe at them before they could roll down her face. Anna made a noise of concern and reached out to take Elsa’s shoulder again, trying to force Elsa to move her hands so Anna could get a better look at her face. When she succeeded, she saw that Elsa wasn’t frowning or grimacing, but smiling, with jewel-like tears gathered on her eyelashes.
“Yes,” Elsa said with a bit of a laugh. “Yes, of course I’m alright with you.”
Tears welled up in Anna’s eyes, too. She giggled, overwhelmed. “And I’m alright with you!” she said, and enveloped Elsa in a big hug. Elsa returned the gesture, and the sisters stood in the corridor and embraced for some minutes, both doing their best not to cry all over each other’s shoulders.
They were so different, and yet they were the same.