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(814): dude, he wouldn’t have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be “bad juju”
“Can you get off my lap?”
Zoro doesn’t budge, Sanji is forced to toss the muscle head off the couch and into the hardwood floor. “Look man, you can’t be doing this right now.” He says, crossing his arms, glaring at Zoro. “I need you six feet apart, your jersey has bad juju. The Eagles need to win this game.”
It doesn’t take even a second before Zoro starts howling in laughter. “Yunz guys win one Superbowl and suddenly you think that you have a chance against the Steelers? Gimme a break.”
“If I had known you were a Steelers fan I would have walked away immediately from this relationship,” Sanji says in a huff. He still can’t believe his fiancé is a Steelers fan. He’s sure Zeff would have a meltdown if he ever found out the truth.
Zoro is still laughing as he jumps back on the couch and pulls Sanji into a bear hug. “You can’t pull the social distancing card for ‘bad juju,’ idiot.”
Sanji is trying to squirm out of his fiancé’s grasp but Zoro continues to hold him tighter. “Get off! I’m serious!”
If it wasn’t for the jersey, he probably wouldn’t have minded as much. Such a petty reason for rejecting a hug.
Sanji stops squirming around, looking defeated. He wasn’t going to say he liked it because that will only empower Mosshead.
And then the shitty bastard bites his neck.
Sanji tosses Zoro off him and onto the other side of the couch. “Dude, what the fuck was that?”
Zoro is smirking, laughing. He was pressing Sanji’s buttons hard this evening. “We have fifteen minutes before the game resumes. How abou- “
“Absolutely not,” Sanji cuts him off with a wag of his finger. “I am not having sex with you looking like a total loser.”
“Awwww.” Zoro shifts his voice to a mocking tone “Stupid idiot baby doesn’t want to have sex with his boyfriend because he thinks touching a jersey will cause his shitty team to lose.”
Sanji grits his teeth, nails digging into the leather of their couch. “My shitty team?! Look at yourself, when was the last time the Steelers won a Superbowl?”
“At least we’ve won more than one.” Zoro snaps back. His smile has yet to leave his face, He was clearly enjoying this.
It was infuriating. Sanji considered locking himself in the bedroom and watching the game on his phone, but that would be admitting defeat. He wasn’t going to lose to Zoro, he knew the Birds were going to win. He had to manifest that energy into something productive. To get his annoying brat of a boyfriend to lay off for now.
“You know what?” Sanji gasps and slaps the couch with both hands. He looks Zoro directly in his eye. “If the Steelers win, I’ll have sex with you wearing the jersey.”
Zoro perks up, his grin becomes wider. “I’m listening.”
“And when the Eagles win, you’ll wear my jersey.” Sanji thought this was a good compromise. It was a win-win for him. They’ll have sex, and Zoro would wear his Wentz jersey. Mosshead would look great wearing that.
“Ok, deal.” Zoro extends his hand out to shake on it but Sanji shoos him away. “You still have bad juju.”
“Whatever, pissbaby.” Zoro rolls his eyes, gets up, and walks to the fridge “I’m getting another lager, do you want one?”
“…Yes.”
**
(804): did you end up having sex?
(484): i don’t want to talk about it.