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Fallon and Liam aren’t even friends. Their relationship is strictly professional, made of a contract and nothing more. They definitely don’t care about each other. They don’t even know each other. Because Fallon Carrington does not fall in love. Fallon Carrington doesn’t fall at all. Fallon Carrington is a businesswoman, logic above all else, stone-cold and unwavering. She sees Liam as nothing but a means to an end.
But then.
Liam will smile at her and her stomach will flip. He’ll kiss her (in public only, of course) and her heart will flutter. And slowly, despite her very best efforts, Liam is starting to get to know her. The real her. The things she keeps so well hidden away from others, he somehow manages to draw out.
Fallon hates it.
Or she loves it.
She honestly has no idea and that terrifies her. Because Fallon is in control. Always . She doesn’t need anyone else. She barely even needs her own family. She’s Fallon Carrington for fuck’s sake. She needs herself, her brain, and that’s it. And maybe Steven.
But she does not need Liam. She does not care about Liam. She is not getting attached. She is not letting him get close.
Because Fallon refuses to let anyone get close. She refuses to let herself get attached to anyone else. She has her reasons, though. They’re good ones. Solid ones. Ones that are a lot harder for her to remember when Liam is looking at her with those piercing blue eyes, the ones that seem to strip away all her defenses and bore into her very soul. Even harder when they twinkle as he laughs, how they seem to convey every emotion he’s feeling.
Like now.
“What’re you thinking about?” Liam’s voice snaps her out of her thoughts and Fallon blinks, looking over, right into those drilling blue eyes, sharp as they study her.
“Hmm?” Fallon asks, quickly taking a bite of her salad and ripping her gaze away.
“You’ve got that face,” Liam explains, frowning slightly.
“Well, I was born with it,” Fallon replies with a tight smile, reaching for her wine. Liam sighs, rolling his eyes.
“Fallon, we’ve been doing this for months. I know you. I know when something’s wrong.” Fallon tightens her jaw, knowing that her crystal blue eyes are cold and hard as ice right now. It’s an expression she’s perfected, one to scare off anyone who’s annoying her. Or anyone she wishes would just leave already.
“You don’t know me, Liam,” she says, her voice steely.
“Beg to differ.”
“Then beg .”
“Hate to say it, pretty boy, but Fallon’s right,” Sam says, reclining back in his chair and sipping on his wine leisurely. Fallon smirks, tipping her head in Sam’s direction. See? “Fallon’s a stone cold bitch. If she doesn’t want you to know something, you don’t. I’ve been friends with her for two years, and even I still barely know her.”
“We’re friends?” Fallon replies tauntingly. Sam flips her off lazily as he takes a long drink of his wine. Fallon chuckles softly, before finding her gaze locked with Liam’s once again. She feels a shiver down her spine and makes a point of looking away.
“Well you’re both. I do know you, Fallon.” Fallon narrows her eyes as Liam smirks softly. “I mean after the other night-” Fallon’s heart drops into her stomach and she feels anger and betrayal stirring in her chest. How dare he?
“That was a one time thing,” she cuts in sharply. “And I’m pretty sure we agreed never to speak of it again .”
“Ooh gossip, spill,” Sam demands, eyes glinting.
“No,” Fallon snaps, standing up suddenly. “We’re done talking about this.” Sam holds his hands up in surrender and Liam sighs.
“Fallon, just-”
“I’m going to bed.”
“Fallon, you barely ate anything,” Liam calls as she leaves the dining room. She just holds back a middle finger and lets the door swing shut behind her.
Liam runs a hand back through his hair, sighing softly. He should not have brought that up. He just- he hates Fallon’s stubborn resistance to any sort of friendship. Her inability to let him in. Because after a few months with her, Liam was starting to care. To cherish those little moments he managed to break through the hard exterior and walls she’s built up.
He knows Fallon.
He knows why she’s petrified of seeming weak, why she tries so hard to retain control at all times. He knows why she won’t let him in, and that she’s terrified he’s finding his way despite her best efforts.
Liam’s positive something was bothering her just now, and he definitely shouldn’t have brought the other night up and thrown it in her face like that. And now she’s gone.
“So what happened the other night?” Sam asks after a minute. Liam looks at him, the guilt expanding inside him as he realizes how much he screwed up by mentioning it.
“Oh, uh, nothing. It’s- it’s Fallon’s business and I shouldn’t have said anything,” Liam says, attempting to deflect from the topic.
“Boo!”
“It’s not my place,” Liam defends, looking down at his meal.
“It’s the nightmares, right?” Liam spins around at Steven’s voice, the older man leaning against the doorway behind him. Liam doesn’t say a word, clenching his jaw as Steven comes to sit down. “She’s been having them as long as I can remember.”
“Shit,” Sam says softly. “Like, scary-clown-nightmares?” Steven rolls his eyes.
“No, Sam, not clowns,” Steven sighs.
“Then what?”
“She never told me. All I know is that when she has them, you don’t wanna be anywhere near her.”
“Really?” Liam asks with a frown, flashing back to the other night. Steven looks at him curiously.
“Even I was barely allowed and that was only when they got bad.” Liam doesn’t say anything, chewing on his lip. Steven looks at Sam. “Oh and by the way, if you ever tell Fallon I told you any of this, I’ll haunt you.”
“Why not just kill me?” Sam asks. Steven fices him with a cool, steady gaze.
“Because if Fallon finds out, I’ll be dead before I get the chance,” he replies. Liam snorts and Sam nods thoughtfully. He’s not wrong.
“I’m uh, I’m gonna go check on her,” Liam says, excusing himself from the table.
“Good luck!” Sam calls. “Don’t go all ghosty on us when she murders you!” Liam just shakes his head and leaves the room.
He walks right to Fallon’s room, knocking lightly on the door.
“Go away,” Fallon’s voice calls a second later. It’s shaky, and Liam knows she’s been crying.
“Fallon, c’mon. You need to eat something, you barely touched your dinner. I’ll go away, just go back and finish eating.” Suddenly the door whips open, revealing a fuming Fallon, tear tracks and mascara staining her cheeks.
“I cannot believe you did that!” Fallon screams, shoving at his chest, eyes wild and burning with rage and betrayal . “How dare you throw that in my face! I cannot believe you! ”
“Fal-”
“No, Liam,” she snarls, voice low. “Just leave me the hell alone. I just want to down as much melatonin and CBD as I can and go to sleep. We aren’t friends. I don’t care about you and you shouldn’t care about me. Now go away .” She hates the way her voice shakes on the last word, her bottom lip trembling. She shoves him one last time before spinning on her heel and slamming the bedroom door shut behind her.
Fallon leans back against the door with a long sigh before pushing off it and toward her bathroom. She just wants to go to sleep .
-
Some nights, they happen in vivid detail. Images and sounds that echo in her mind for weeks after, keeping her awake for nights on end and leaving her shaky and fragile. She hates those. But they're better than the alternative. Better than nights like tonight.
Because nights like tonight she doesn’t even know what happens. Suddenly, there’s a falling sensation and then she jerks away, the scream dying in her throat. She’s shaking, covered in a cold sweat and absolutely trembling as small gasps and whimpers fall from her lips uncontrollably. She curls herself into a ball on her side, arms wrapped around her shins and head tucked into her knees as she cries, sobs shaking her body.
She doesn’t even know what’s wrong and that’s the worst part. There’s just a hollow feeling of bad guilt terror . She can’t explain it and she doesn’t know she wants to.
“Fallon?” The soft voice calls to her through the fog of her mind, drawing her back to the present where her nails dig into her calves and her forehead is pressing into her knees. “Shit, Fallon.” Then there’s a weight next to her on the bed, a hand rubbing her back. She just sniffles, trying to quiet herself, calm herself, retreat back into her shell.
“It’s fine, I’m fine,” she sniffs, unfurling and moving to her side, back to Liam. She doesn’t want him here. But at the same time, she really doesn’t want him to leave. “Just go.”
“Fallon, stop telling me you’re ok,” Liam says softly, a hand on her shoulder. Fallon sits up into a cross-legged position, looking over at him. His eyes are soft, dark and concerned in the unlit room. “I heard you scream. Was it the nightmares again?” Fallon tenses her jaw, closing her eyes tightly and digging her nails into her palms.
“I don’t want to talk about this,” she manages through clenched teeth. “Please, just go.” She stares down at her lap, trying to hold back tears. One hand squeezes her knee, the other tucking stray hairs back behind her ear. She looks up at Liam, swallowing thickly.
Liam doesn’t know if he’s ever seen Fallon look this vulnerable . Fragile, like she could shatter at any second as she looks up at him, baby blue eyes wide. He lets his fingers linger on her cheek when he brushes back the hairs hanging in her face.
“Why are you so insistent on pushing me away?” he asks gently. Fallon lets out a quiet sigh, gaze dropping down. “You need to let people in, Fallon.”
“No, I don’t,” she argues.
“Yes, you do,” Liam grits out, growing frustrated now.
“No!” When she looks up at him again, her eyes are ice. “I don’t need anyone!”
“Why not?” Liam snaps, his words harsher than he meant them.
“Because nobody cares about me!” Fallon finally shouts, looking up at him again. There’s something broken in her eyes and when she speaks again, her voice is shaky, small. “No one cares.”
“ I care, Fallon,” he whispers. “I care.”
“Why?” She sounds more vulnerable than Liam thought was possible, and Liam smiles softly as he takes her chin in his hand, keeping her gaze locked with his.
“Because you, Fallon Carrington, are the single most amazing woman I’ve ever met.” Fallon scoffs, but he’s not done. “You are the smartest, toughest, scariest, most incredible person I know. You don’t take shit from anyone, and you’re so in control, all the time. But you need to let people in, let them help. You need to stop killing yourself like this, please.”
“I don’t-” she swallows thickly- “I don’t know how.” Liam takes her hand in his own, intertwining their fingers as they both look down at the action.
“Let’s start with this,” Liam whispers, “I’m going to stay here until you fall asleep. You’re going to cry if you need to, and let me comfort you.”
“But-”
“Fallon.” His voice is firm, strict even, as she raises her eyes to his. “Let me help.” She chews on her bottom lip before nodding. She lies down on her side, heart racing as he settles down behind her, pressed up against her back. One of his hands winds around her waist, resting on her stomach, which flutters at the touch.
“You ok?” Liam asks, voice low and rumbling. Fallon nods jerkily. Then, after a moment of hesitation, she turns in his arms so she’s facing him. She swallows hard, looking in his eyes and wondering if she’s about to do something really really stupid.
“Do you think-” she pauses, taking a deep breath and starting again, steadier this time. “Kiss me, Liam.” Liam gives her that stupid charming, boyish grin.
“Whatever you say,” he agrees, and then they’re both leaning closer to meet in the middle, lips slotting together as he pulls her closer with a hand on her cheek. She leans into him, holding onto his wrist and grinning into the kiss. They break apart after a few moments, staring at each other. Then he smiles softly and shifts so his arms are tight, comforting around her as he pulls her closer. She gives in, tucking her face into his neck and sighing deeply.
“Thank you,” she whispers.
“For what?” Liam asks, and she can feel the vibrations of the words in his throat.
“Caring,” Fallon says softly, eyes already falling closed. Liam smiles, pressing a kiss to her forehead as her breathing steadies off and she slips into an easy sleep. Maybe, just maybe, they’ll figure this out.