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“JiuJiu! JiuJiu!”
“What, A-Ling?!” Jiang Cheng snaps, pinching his nose in frustration.
“Ling-shixiong told you to stay in bed!” Jin Ling screeches as he runs after his stomping uncle. “You aren’t even supposed to fly your sword, much less all the way here!”
“A-Ling,” Jiang Cheng grits out, trying extremely hard not to lose his patience. “I am an adult and I do not require your coddling. Especially when I’ve heard of how you have been boycotting on your studies here at the Cloud Recesses!”
Jin Ling flinches, “I wasn’t boycotting, JiuJiu! I swear!”
“Or were you?” Jiang Cheng sneers, seeing through him. “Don’t think I don’t know how you willingly go along with every opportunity to escape from your studies, Jin Ling!”
Jin Ling slumps his shoulders in defeat. Jiang Cheng is about to turn around and continue on his way when he’s interrupted by yet another voice.
“Sect Leader Jiang!”
Jiang Cheng releases a deep sigh.
“What?!” he growls as he turns to meet with Lan JingYi.
“Sect Leader Jiang, you promised that you would show us YunMeng Jiang sword forms the next time you came!” Lan JingYi says excitedly. “Won’t you come with us?”
Jiang Cheng turns to Lan JingYi’s side where he notices OuYang… Well… Sect Leader OuYang’s only son.
“Lan JingYi, is it not against your rules to badger visitors and interfere with their personal business?” Jiang Cheng asks with a raised eyebrow.
Lan JingYi grins triumphantly, “It is also against the rules to go against one’s promises. And, it is not a violation to want to learn more about others’ sects.”
Jiang Cheng sighs.
“Alright, but only after—”
“Sect Leader Jiang!”
“Oh my fucking Gods,” Jiang Cheng hisses under his breath.
“Swearing is prohibited in the Cloud Recesses, Sect Leader Jiang!” Lan JingYi says with a horrified shriek.
“Shouting isn’t allowed either, Lan JingYi!” Jiang Cheng refutes swiftly as he turns to meet the newcomer. “Lan SiZhui, is there something you need?”
Lan SiZhui comes to a stop in front of him and bows down sheepishly. Well, at least someone has been taught manners.
“You said you’d accompany us to see the performance when the troupe came into town!” Lan SiZhui says in his subdued excitement. “The troupe just arrived last week and today’s their last day! Please, Sect Leader Jiang?”
Jiang Cheng can’t resist the small upward twitch of his lip when he sees Lan SiZhui’s desperate face.
“Eh?! SiZhui?!” Lan JingYi exclaims. “You didn’t hope to invite me?”
“Or me?” the OuYang boy pitifully asks.
Jiang Cheng suppresses the urge to sigh again.
“JiuJiu! You can’t go out!” Jin Ling scolds him again. “The healer told you to—”
“I know what the healer said, Jin Ling,” Jiang Cheng interrupts, frustrated.
Before long, Jiang Cheng finds himself being badgered by the four juniors about his injury, the need to stay in bed, that they could just reschedule for another time, that he could attend to personal affairs on another time, and Jiang Cheng has had about enough.
“WanYin.”
“Shut up!” Jiang Cheng whirls around in anger. “You’re annoying! Where’s the peace that the Cloud Recesses seem to pride themselves with— Wait, XiChen?!”
Jiang Cheng stares at Lan XiChen who stares back at him, just as shocked.
“Wan...Yin…” Lan XiChen’s face contorts into hurt and immediately Jiang Cheng feels bad.
But before Jiang Cheng can apologise, Lan XiChen has already turned away and made his hasty escape. The juniors can do nothing but watch silently, glancing between the retreating back of Lan XiChen and the face of defeat on Jiang Cheng’s face before he too, turns away and leaves the area without another word.
xox o xox
That day, Lotus Pier witnesses her master drowning in his misery for the first time in so many years. Her poor childe of YunMeng had never before griefed properly for the loss of his family all those years ago. Instead, she witnesses the rise of her master as he rebuilds the foundations of what he remembers home to be. She watches silently as the burdens and expectations pile up onto those then small shoulders for a barely-an-adult boy to meet. Lotus Pier witnesses the breakdown of her master, time and time again, as dates fly by, too many to remember. But her master celebrates them all the same. Birthdays, anniversaries, deaths, ceremonies… all except for his. She has never seen her master ever loving himself ever the same.
She has never seen her master give himself the same love and respect as he’s given to those who have passed, to those who have yet to pass, and to those who are passing. She has yet to see her master allowing himself the same care and patience he shows to those who deserve it. Lotus Pier has yet to see a smile of happiness, a sigh of relief, a night full of dreams…
It seems that today, her master will not rest easy again as he cries himself through the night and into the dawn, barring anyone from seeing his state of despair.
xox o xox
Lan XiChen sits, mind whirling in shock, even though hours have long passed by since his rude escape from Jiang Cheng. He didn’t mean it; he would never walk away from Jiang Cheng. He was just shocked at Jiang Cheng’s unusual state.
His beloved would be so much more composed, much more in control. Maybe even a small smile that shows how happy he is to fulfil his personal agenda for coming to the Cloud Recesses.
But today, he seemed so weary, so tired, so… hopeless. Lan XiChen had never seen the Jiang look so defeated before and Lan XiChen wonders why. Had something happened in Lotus Pier? Maybe something concerning the young Jin? Maybe a nightmare? Lan XiChen knows that as children of war, they would never be rid of those horrifying images that continue to haunt them through their adulthood.
But Jin RuLan had said that Jiang Cheng needed to be in bed, that he wasn’t even supposed to be in the Cloud Recesses, much less riding a sword. Had he been injured? By who, what? When had he gotten the injury? How has Lan XiChen not have a report?
Maybe Lan XiChen is overthinking it, as he usually does. Maybe he merely has to wait for Jiang Cheng to come back again. It is his fault if Jiang Cheng no longer wants to talk to him after this. After all, Lan XiChen violated their promise. To never show their backs against the other. No matter the circumstance.
Lan XiChen sighs as he slumps in his seat. Maybe he should apologise…
“XiChen-ge!”
The doors are flung wide open, and in the open passage, a certain man with a lopsided, out-of-place grin stands in the way.
“Master Wei,” Lan XiChen greets. “To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?”
“Aiyah, XiChen-ge,” Wei WuXian tsks as he plops down noisily on the seat in front of Lan XiChen. “How many times do I have to say it! You should just call me Wei Ying!”
Lan XiChen merely smiles at him while he pours them the already made tea.
“Anyways,” Wei WuXian moves on. “I heard that my dear didi came to the Cloud Recesses only to leave depressed and sad?”
Lan XiChen’s heart leaps to his throat before he sighs.
“I see that it has already made it around the Cloud Recesses,” he notes depressingly.
Wei WuXian gives him an awkward pat on his shoulder, seeing as how short he is.
“Anyway, shouldn’t you be on your way to Lotus Pier and dragging him out of his rooms?”
Lan XiChen blinks at him blankly., “Why would I do that?”
Wei WuXian frowns, “Why wouldn’t you?”
“I should be giving him space. To let him decide if he wants to speak to me or not,” Lan XiChen explains. “I’d rather not go there to apologise, only to get banned out of Lotus Pier because I refused to respect WanYin’s feelings.”
Wei WuXian stares at him blankly for a few beats before snorting and bursting out into laughter.
“You…” he wheezes. “You think you’re the one who needs to apologise? Don’t get me wrong, XiChen-ge. I know A-Cheng has apologised for enough things in his life, even if it isn’t his to say. But I think this time, it’s A-Cheng who needs to do it.”
“What? Why? I was the one who wronged him,” Lan XiChen frowns. “I was the one who disrespected him first.”
Wei WuXian huffs as the last few of his laughter makes it out.
“A-Cheng has had to experience many misunderstandings, XiChen-ge. And in almost all of them, he always feels like he’s the one who made the mistake,” Wei WuXian explains solemnly. “Regardless of whose right it is to apologise, I think you should go to Lotus Pier and confront him to clear this up before his mind conjures up some ridiculous idea of him deserving to live alone for the rest of his life or something.”
Lan XiChen’s troubled frown deepens.
“XiChen-ge,” Wei WuXian says softly. “Save the apologies only after the misunderstanding has been resolved. If you apologise without clearing it up… I feel—I know Jiang Cheng would feel like he has a debt to pay for having you apologise for something he thinks he did.”
“I…”
“Haste is necessary to heal one’s heart, XiChen-ge,” Wei WuXian says brightly as he pulls Lan XiChen to his feet. “If you don’t hurry, Jiang Cheng is going to aggravate his wound by doing some physical exercises like he usually does!”
Lan XiChen is pushed out of the doors without any more explanations. He leaves for Lotus Pier after staring at the doors dumbly for a few seconds after having them shut in his face with no ceremony. With a steeled resolve, he makes his way to the love of his life, never doubting Wei WuXian’s words that Jiang Cheng would indeed be tearing his battered soul apart for something he didn’t do. Lan XiChen vows to clear this misunderstanding or he can’t call himself Jiang Cheng’s equal.
xox o xox
“WanYin.”
Jiang Cheng stiffens from where he’s lying face down onto the table, awkwardly sitting in a way that he knows his hips and ankles would be sore once he gets out of the position.
“WanYin,” the mellow voice calls him again.
Jiang Cheng doesn’t answer and instead, makes it seem as though he’s so out of it that he’s fallen unconscious.
Lan XiChen sighs when he sees Jiang Cheng stiffen but not responding to him. He glances over the table, messy from the haphazard placement of overflowing jugs of wine that he’s sure Jiang Cheng dug out from the wine cellar just for occasions such as this. He takes the seat next to Jiang Cheng, one not too close that Jiang Cheng would feel uncomfortable, but not one too far that Lan XiChen wouldn't be able to catch him if Jiang Cheng ever fell. And with how Jiang Cheng seems to wobble in his seat, even though his head is supported on the table, Lan XiChen thinks that his guess might not be too far off.
“WanYin, you don’t have to answer me,” Lan XiChen starts softly. “But I would like you to listen, alright?”
Lan XiChen watches closely to see if there is any response. He continues, suppressing a sigh when he doesn’t see one.
“I apologise, for having caught you off guard, when you didn’t feel like your best self. I should not have walked away without understanding the situation. And I definitely should’ve come immediately to hear you out, before you fell in too deep in yourself.”
He sees a slight twitch on Jiang Cheng’s finger but other than that, there was no other sign that Jiang Cheng was listening.
“I-I thought that you needed space, maybe to gather your thoughts before I came over to apologise,” Lan XiChen continues to explain. “Give you time to compose a reply without being too distressed and unable to finish the conversation when your emotions get too overwhelming.”
This time, Jiang Cheng’s face peeks out from where it hides within the crook of his elbow. Lan XiChen doesn’t move to force him out and merely continues talking.
“We promised never to show our backs to each other. And I… I violated that promise. I’m sorry, WanYin. I was just… I was just shocked because that was the first time you had ever snapped at me,” Lan XiChen swallows heavily. “I’m not scared of you. Well… I was afraid when I overheard Jin RuLan saying that you were injured and was advised bed rest. And yet, you came to the Cloud Recesses anyway, to fulfil our promise. But… WanYin…”
Lan XiChen looks into Jiang Cheng’s eyes.
“I was so scared that something had happened to you that made you unlike yourself.”
“Unlike myself?” Jiang Cheng mutters quietly.
Lan XiChen nods, “You looked so tired WanYin, and I’m pretty sure it wasn’t because of your risky travel to the Cloud Recesses. Had something happened, WanYin? I promise I won’t pry if you don’t feel like sharing.”
Jiang Cheng continues blinking up into Lan XiChen’s eyes before he finally rises from his awkward position to sit up.
“I just… No, it’s stupid,” Jiang Cheng shakes his head.
Lan XiChen reaches over and cups his cheeks.
“Nothing that involves your well-being is stupid, WanYin. Anything that hurts you, hurts me just as much.”
Jiang Cheng swallows at the sincerity he sees in Lan XiChen’s eyes.
“It was just a… a stupid dream,” Jiang Cheng finally whispers out. “Y-You left me… because of my stupid mouth.”
As soon as he says that, Lan XiChen immediately graces him with a kiss to his lips.
“Your mouth isn’t stupid, WanYin,” Lan XiChen firmly assures. “And I won’t leave you. I promised I wouldn’t after all. And you know that I can’t lie to save my life.”
Jiang Cheng smiles, a soft, fragile smile, but still a smile.
“That’s true. The esteemed, talented First Jade of Lan has something he can’t do, after all,” Jiang Cheng teases.
Lan XiChen smiles in relief, watching as some light reenters Jiang Cheng’s eyes.
“I’m sorry too,” Jiang Cheng says quietly. “Sorry for snapping at you. I just… I was on edge since that morning… from all the nightmares…”
Lan XiChen moves closer, positioning so that he can comfortably hold Jiang Cheng in his arms.
“Was it because of how you got injured?” Lan XiChen asks just as quietly.
Jiang Cheng nods, “I just… I felt incompetent. I got complacent and I made such a stupid mistake…”
“And then you started overthinking,” Lan XiChen finishes for him. “It’s alright, WanYin. I’m not mad at you. I’m just worried about you, but that’s all. If it makes you feel any better, we could just blame it on someone else.”
“Someone else?” Jiang Cheng peers up at him curiously.
“I wonder who was it that badgered my beloved to the point of frustration,” Lan XiChen says mischievously.
Jiang Cheng looks at him in confusion before it dawns on him. Then, he’s laughing.
“Don’t tell me you’re thinking of blaming the juniors for this!” he laughs out. “XiChen, I never knew you so immature!”
Lan XiChen feels his smile widen.
“Anything for my love’s burden to lessen, WanYin. We might as well start blaming the juniors for every one of your frustrations from now on,” Lan XiChen says teasingly.
“You wouldn't dare do that to your precious nephew!” Jiang Cheng says in mock horror. “And I thought blaming someone falsely for crimes they did not commit is against the rules!”
Lan XiChen chuckles, taking Jiang Cheng’s hands and pressing his lips tenderly onto their skin.
“For you, WanYin, I wouldn’t mind breaking all the rules for,” Lan XiChen pledges resolutely. “For the rules weigh nothing compared to how much you hold in my heart.”
Lan XiChen appreciates the way Jiang Cheng’s blush gradually creeps onto his face as Jiang Cheng smiles shyly.
“I would too, XiChen,” Jiang Cheng says. “No matter how many rules tie you down, I won’t hesitate to break them, if it’ll keep you happy.”
“I love you, WanYin,” Lan XiChen sighs into his hands. “I’ll love you enough for the both of us even if you don’t.”
“Mn,” Jiang Cheng nods, smiling fondly. “I love you just the same, XiChen.”
And nothing will convince him otherwise.